#Excited to experience it all over again :]

[the-sp0tless-mind]

40 days and i miss you

[screambirdscreaming]

I used to like saying "gender is a social construct," but I stopped saying that because people didn't tend to react well - they thought that I was saying gender wasn't real, or didn't matter, or could be safely ignored without consequences. Which has always baffled me a bit as an interpretation, honestly, because many things are social constructs - like money, school, and the police - and they certainly have profound effects on your life whether or not you believe in them. And they sure don't go away if you ignore them.

Anyway. What I've taken to saying instead is, "gender is a cultural practice." This gives more of a sense of respect for the significance gender holds to many people. And it also opens the door to another couple layers of analysis.

Gender is cultural. It is not globally or historically homogeneous. It shifts over time, develops differently in different communities, and can be influenced by cross-cultural contact. Like many, many aspects of culture, the current status of gender is dramatically influenced by colonialism. Colonial gender norms are shaped by the hierarchical structure of imperialist society, and enforced onto colonized cultures as part of the project of imperial cultural hedgemony.

Gender is practiced. What constitutes a gender includes affects and behaviors, jobs or areas of work, skillsets, clothing, collective and individual practices of gender affiliation and affirmation. Any or all of these things, in any combination, depending on the gender, the culture, and the practitioner.

Gender encompasses shared cultural archetypes. These can include specific figures - gods and goddesses, mythic or fictional characters, etc - or they can be more abstract or general. The Wise Woman, Robin Hood, the Dyke, the Working Man, the Plucky Heroine, the Effete Gay Man, etc etc. The range of archetypes does not circumscribe a given gender, that is, they're not all there is to gender. But they provide frameworks and reference points by which people relate to gender. They may be guides for ways to inhabit or practice a gender. They may be stereotypes through which the gendered behavior of others is viewed.

Gender as a framework can be changed. Because it is created collectively, by shared acknowledgement and enforcement by members of society. Various movements have made significant shifts in how gender is structured at various times and places. The impact of these shifts has been widely variable - for example, depending on what city I'm in, even within my (fairly culturally homogeneous) home country, the way I am gendered and reacted to changes dramatically. Looping back to point one, we often speak of gender in very broad terms that obscure significant variability which exists on many scales.

Gender is structured recursively. This can be seen in the archetypes mentioned above, which range from extremely general (say, the Mother) to highly specific (the PTA Soccer Mom). Even people who claim to acknowledge only two genders will have many concepts of gendered-ways-of-being within each of them, which they may view and react to VERY differently.

Gender is experienced as an external cultural force. It cannot be opted out of, any more than living in a society can be opted out of. Regardless of the internal experience of gender, the external experience is also present. Operating within the shared cultural understanding of gender, one can aim to express a certain practice of gender - to make legible to other people how it is you interface with gender. This is always somewhat of a two-way process of communication. Other people may or may not perceive what you're going for - and they may or may not respect it. They may try to bring your expressed gender into alignment with a gender they know, or they might parcel you off into your own little box.

Gender is normative. Within the structure of the "cultural mainstream," there are allowable ways to practice gender. Any gendered behavior is considered relative to these standards. What behavior is allowed, rewarded, punished, or shunned is determined relative to what is gender normative for your perceived gender. Failure to have a clearly perceivable gender is also, generally, punished. So is having a perceivable gender which is in itself not normative.

Gender is taught by a combination of narratives, punishments, and encouragements. This teaching process is directed most strongly towards children but continues throughout adulthood. Practice of normatively-gendered behaviors and alignment with 'appropriate' archetypes is affirmed, encouraged, and rewarded. Likewise 'other'- gendered behavior and affinity to archetypes is scolded, punished, or shunned. This teaching process is inherently coercive, as social acceptance/rejection is a powerful force. However it can't be likened to programming, everyone experiences and reacts to it differently. Also, this process teaches the cultural roles and practices of both (normative) genders, even as it attempts to force conformity to only one.

Gender regulates access to certain levers of social power. This one is complicated by the fact that access to levers of social power is also affected by *many* other things, most notably race, class, and citizenship. I am not going to attempt to describe this in any general terms, I'm not equipped for that. I'll give a few examples to explain what I'm talking about though. (1) In a social situation, a man is able to imply authority, which is implicitly backed by his ability to intimidate by yelling, looming, or threatening physical violence. How much authority he is perceived to have in response to this display is a function of his race and class. It is also modified by how strongly he appears to conform to a masculine ideal. Whether or not he will receive social backlash for this behavior (as a separate consideration to how effective it will be) is again a function of race/class/other forms of social standing. (2) In a social situation, a woman is able to invoke moral judgment, and attempt to modify the behavior of others by shame. The strength of her perceived moral authority depends not just on her conformity to ideal womanhood, but especially on if she can invoke certain archetypes - such as an Innocent, a Mother, or better yet a Grandmother. Whether her moral authority is considered a relevant consideration to influence the behavior of others (vs whether she will be belittled or ignored) strongly depends on her relative social standing to those she is addressing, on basis of gender/race/class/other.

[Again, these examples are *not* meant to be exhaustive, nor to pass judgment on employing any social power in any situation. Only to illustrate what "gendered access to social power" might mean. And to illustrate that types of power are not uniform and may play out according to complex factors.]

Gender is not based in physical traits, but physical traits are ascribed gendered value. Earlier, I described gender as practiced, citing almost entirely things a person can do or change. And I firmly believe this is the core of gender as it exists culturally - and not just aspirationally. After the moment when a gender is "assigned" based on infant physical characteristics, they are raised into that gender regardless of the physical traits they go on to develop (in most circumstances, and unless/until they denounce that gender.) The range of physical traits like height, facial shape, body hair, ability to put on muscle mass - is distributed so that there is complete overlap between the range of possible traits for people assigned male and people assigned female. Much is made of slight trends in things that are "more common" for one binary sex or the other, but it's statistically quite minor once you get over selection bias. However, these traits are ascribed gendered connotations, often extremely strongly so. As such, the experience of presented and perceived gender is strongly effected by physical traits. The practice of gender therefore naturally expands to include modification of physical traits. Meanwhile, the social movements to change how gender is constructed can include pushing to decrease or change the gendered association of physical traits - although this does not seem to consistently be a priority.

Gender roles are related to the hypothetical ability to bear children, but more obliquely than is often claimed. It is popular to say that the types of work considered feminine derive from things it is possible to do while pregnant or tending small children. However, research on the broader span of human history does not hold this up. It may be true of the cultures that gave immediate rise to the colonial gender roles we are familiar with - secondary to the fact that childcare was designated as women's work. (Which it does not have to be, even a nursing infant doesn't need to be with the person who feeds it 24 hours a day.) More directly, gender roles have been influenced by structures of social control aiming for reproductive control. In the direct precursors of colonial society, attempts to track paternal lineage led to extreme degrees of social control over women, which we still see reflected in normative gender today. Many struggles for women's liberation have attempted to push back these forms of social control. It is my firm opinion that any attempt to re-emphasize childbearing as a touchstone of womanhood is frankly sick. We are at a time where solidarity in struggle for gender liberation, and for reproductive rights, is crucial. We need to cast off shackles of control in both fights. Trying to tie childbearing back to womanhood hobbles both fights and demeans us all.

Gender is baked deeply enough into our culture that it is unlikely to ever go away. Many people feel strongly about the practice of gender, in one way or another, and would not want it to. However we have the power to change how gender is structured and enforced. We can push open the doors of what is allowable, and reduce the pain of social punishment and isolation. We can dismantle another of the tools of colonial hedgemony and social control. We can change the culture!

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

gfdkljflsd she sounds so exasperated

[liquidchocolatecake]

currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad

[incorrect-tbs-quotes]

Guess who just got their copy of @sshannonauthor TBS the Tenth Anniversary edition? (Me!)

I can't wait to dive into this world as I did for the first time six years ago. I get to see my OTP, Paige and Warden for the first time again which is insane. I can't believe we even get that chance so thank you Samantha, truly. This is essentially my version of early Christmas. (And now that I'm older I can actually bust out some champagne for the occasion 😂)

[fingertipsmp3]

I am once again having a sexuality crisis (read: wondering if I’m a lesbian or just have been stuck in my hometown for too long yet again and therefore haven’t seen a man who doesn’t look vaguely like a fish in years)

[hotasfahrenheit]

i was excited when i saw Mike and Jeff (and Ten and Jackson) were going to be on Chuang Asia together but i did not EVER expect multiple shows and projects from them and i'm SO stoked.

i know not everyone in the BL fandom spheres know who Mike is yet but he was in one of my fave dumb Chinese dramas (My Little Princess, and listen it does a really great job of inverting a bunch of popular romance tropes and it's great and funny and cute actually) and i love himmmmmmmm

he's also in one of PP Krit's mvs and it's real pretty so go watch that if you haven't seen it!

Mike was primarily acting in China before the pandemic and until a couple years ago, but he has a young son and the rest of his family is in Thailand from what i know, and it seems like he's shifting into working in Thailand instead of working internationally. and we don't have any actual -confirmation- if either of these shows are going to be BLs or QLs or anything that i know of (tho Happy Ending seems the most likely because of Jeff's and Barcode's characters) but i'll take whatever he's ready to work on because he's great.

i'm so ready for the beautiful things that this beautiful friendship is already turning out like we are all just going to be BLESSED. i hope Mike and Jeff work well together and have a great time and everything they touch turns to gold (and that Jeff talks Mike out of making any more bad mvs) and we get two besties making shows together for a long time. i hope they get to work with all their friends whenever they want and keep pulling in ridiculous collections of actors and talented people to work with them because WHAT THE HECK EVEN ARE THE CASTS FOR THEIR SHOWS like it's actually insane?

i'm also super here for Jeff having been like “i'm out of BOC to focus on singing” and after doing a bunch of successful music stuff, concerts, dropping an album, now he's doing a bunch of acting on his own like yes, get it king, follow your heart and make your own shows since BOC didn't appreciate your talent or give you enough work to do! make all the shows you want, play whatever kinds of characters you want! we're all here for it.

anyway i'm ready for all of it. let's go.

[sysig]

Starting out, things going Exactly to plan, as expected (Patreon)

[silverjirachi]

i miss writing exile//vilify i miss when i was able to crank out like 8k word chapters every other week. sometimes per week because i was posting stories from exile at the same time. i wish i still had whatever i was snorting when i was able to write that much. i miss when my body didn't feel tired all the time. or when it did, it was completely manageable and i was still able to write 8k words a week. i wish i wasn't sick anymore. i miss feeling as connected as i did to everyone i could only really touch on a screen i am so thankful and blessed that something like that ever happened to me in my life at all and i pray i pray i pray it happens one day again

[funkle420]

*takes my last adderall so i can finish all my work in one day*

*finishes one (1) assignment*

*gets distracted and spends the rest of the day hyperfocusing on delicious in dungeon again*

[kono-yami]

After finally reading xxxHolic I felt like it was time to reread my favorite manga Tsubasa~ So I made this neat little side blog to liveblog. I will mostly be screaming into the void here to not spam my friends' dms too much, but hey, if you somehow find this post you're more than welcome to stick around XD

[thefallenangelsgang]

FUCK I'VE NEVER WISHED I DIDN'T WRITE IN FIRST PERSON MORE

So I've been writing a scene (half completed version here) for a few days now that takes place during the Tiefling Refugee party. It's a conversation about sex, full stop.

The idea came to me because when I played the first time all of the girls wanted my Tav carnally at the party and were not being shy about it (Shadowheart was being coy but the message was there, my autistic ass just missed it until I talked to Karlach and she got lightheartedly jealous I was getting tail and she could not. I've never reloaded a save faster, babygirl I thought we were just gonna drink wine and gossip) and I got rightfully freaked because I am not used to attention in that capacity and not interested in it. (I can't imagine a more hellish reality tbh than being in the middle of a very large dispute that could become a war at any moment and people being like "wanna fuck?")

I had already spurned our dear vampire's advances much earlier in the run so turning away from Lae'zel's horrific attempts at flirting and seeing someone right there that I had already said no to, I was really hoping he would finally be a conversation that didn't include sex (looking at you girls) or completely justified moping (Wyll and Gale my beloveds).

I was right. And I just had this moment where I was like, oh my god, he's the only motherfucker in this place who I can laugh about this with. It was the moment I finally realized I liked Astarion as a character.

So this scene was born and at some point it became less Wynleth bemoaning drowning in hoes and more a exploration of Astarion and her friendship (which not even I expected to happen. I thought they were going to tolerate each other at best because they are such polar opposites) and sexuality (because Wynleth is very much an extension of my interest in politics and thoughts about love and sex, she has been since I made her in 2018)

And in the text Wynleth just monologued a bit trying to explain herself because Astarion is a hypersexual being (because of his trauma or otherwise) and Karlach (who wandered into this scene) can't have intimate contact despite wanting it so badly and I can hear Astarion's cogs turning in his head, trying to stomach that people can just flat out not want sexual contact and be fine about it. He's spent centuries dealing with sexual contact he does not want to the point where now that he has slipped his chains, he doesn't really know what sex is to him anymore. It's certainly a tool, but does he truly want it or is he just doing it because it's all he knows how to do.

look me in the eyes and tell me that man isn't battling demons during this conversation.

I want so badly to write out his thoughts but at this point in the story he's not comfortable enough to probably even confront it let alone speak it out loud which is the only way Wynleth would be able to narrate it. So for now he has to just act weirdly sedate and pensive while still trying to put up his roguish charms (which he is doing, in spades, but not nearly as much as he was in the beginning of the scene)

Fuck I just wish I actually wrote 3rd person because his thoughts would paint such a beautiful dichotomy but that would probably only make this scene longer and this thing is already over 3k words and I'm nowhere near finished.

WHY IS WRITING LIKE THIS?

[howdyfriend]

i know you treblogged this. two days ago but hi SMILES

how come everytime I do these I always end up basically matching the other person what da hell

also FUCK YOU I WILL NOT GO TO SLEEP STAYING UP TILL 1AM IS MY NATURAL STATE

[erabundus]

good morning, i love ren wanderer scaramouche kunikuzushi balladeer kabukimono hat guy very much.

[commanderfreddy]

i never remember to explain shit anymore i just vaguepost and expect people to catch up but i finally have good news, we've made a lot of progress with my parents' estate (they both ran their own businesses and you know those images of nightmare cable management? well imagine that with bank accounts) and i actually have money now - im taking a trip to Aotearoa NZ with my mate Jules next week (dark sky reserve! lotr filming locations! snow! FOOD!) and then in august i will be moving to nyc to pursue a 2 year masters degree in library science with a focus on rare materials archival studies!! shits happening in my life!! im not just sitting in my house doing nothing all day!! and like i said i have money!! if you're taking commissions lmk bc while im focused on my getaway for the next few weeks i wanna support my friends and their art and when i get back i wanna throw u cash to draw my ocs!!

[lisianthoma]

i miss a hat in time