#Evan Buckley why would you say that
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These mf's gave us this scene and expected me to believe they're heterosexual and NOT in love???????
#This makes me so fucking feral#I'm so sorry I have been unable to think of anything else for DAYS#“wanna go for the title” WHAT WAS THE REASON#Ashcurnje#Evan Buckley why would you say that#buddie#9 1 1
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hurts, doesn't it?
#why would you say that#now we're in the trenches#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#buddieedit#911#911 abc#911hiatus2023#911edit#evanbuckleyedit#eddiediazedit#911ramblings#5x11#6x15
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Angela on her reaction to Buck/Tommy kiss in 7.04
#911#911 abc#911 cast#911castedit#7.04#angela bassett#angelabassettedit#oliver stark#oliverstarkedit#evan buckley#gifs#mine#WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES IT ALL FEELS THE SAME😭😭😭#OLIVER ARE YOU INSANE WHY WOULD SAY THAT😭😭😭#SHES SO SILLY I LOVE HER AND I LOVE THEM I NEED BUCK/ATHENA SCENE ASAP
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it's so... interesting how a canonically very sexual character, who was fired from his job in episode 1x01 for stealing the fire truck to have sex on a roof and has sex in said fire truck in that same episode, who was a self-diagnosed sex addict, and is canonically implied to use cock rings, and who we've seen have more sex than any other character (i think?) over the whole show (his relationship with taylor started with them just casually hooking up if y'all don't remember), comes out as bi, flirts with his boyfriend about daddy issues, and his boyfriend just matches the energy, and suddenly it's inappropriate and gross, and fetishizing and whatever other bullshit ive been seeing
hm, wonder why 🤔
also, for anyone going on about how it was a vulnerable emotional moment for buck - it was that for Tommy too, or did you miss him talking about his dad and gerrard, and how both of them used humor to lighten the mood?
#i promise this is the last im gonna say about this#but i keep seeing discourse and im annoyed#just take a look at why you think its so wrong#and good thing to consider would be: would it be okay if another character with similar humor make the same joke 🤔#but im not going there lol#911 discourse#evan buckley
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have you ever been normal what's that like
#this scene is so insane like why did they do that#you know what i keep thinking about#eddie's pause and sigh just before he says ''but you're wrong''#cause in that moment he thinks about what would happen if he lost buck. and he can't live with buck thinking it will effect no one#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 fox#911 memes#maya talks#m*memes
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WHY are BT shippers so vehemently against actually analyzing the symbolism and choices made for this show?
i mean i saw multiple people saying we were overthinking the vertigo poster. they were saying that it was weird to assume that Buck would fill the pining best friend role that Midge did in the original movie??? (haven’t seen the movie, i just read a few synopses)
i’m sorry, so you agree that he put Ryan Guzman in the main character and Devin Kelley as the love interest because they’ll fill those roles in the storyline, but we’re overthinking when we point out what role he put Oliver Stark in?
or when i bring up the possible symbolism of Tommy always calling him Evan, the only response i get from BT stans is “well he would tell him if he didn’t like it” or “i think it’s because he was introduced that way and that’s why” or even “i think he probably likes that Tommy calls him Evan” (all real responses i saw) and it’s like, yeah that’s cool, those are great headcanons for you, but that actually isn’t what i was talking about. nothing wrong with having a headcanon, but it doesn’t explain anything about the show or answer any of my questions.
i mean in s4 he corrected his PARENTS and told them his name was Buck, and in s6 it was used to emphasize the strangeness of his coma dream, how everyone was calling him Evan, the whole show him being called Evan has almost always been used to emphasize that someone doesn’t know him very well, how are y’all convinced that it’ll mean something different this time? i get that some people think it’s supposed to be growth, that he’s cool with being called his first name, but if that’s the goal it definitely isn’t reading that way to me.
like i wish i could see things through the same lens as these people so it could make sense to me, i just don’t get how you can willfully ignore SO many hints just so you can ship what you want.
no hate to the ship or the shippers obviously, i’m just baffled by the lengths they’ll go to in order to convince themselves that plot device man is endgame for Buck.
#buddie#i know now that i’m not allowed to tag this bucktommy#i still feel like i should but i know they’ll get mad at me#911#911 on abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#and like it’s fine to ship what you want but why do you have to try and convince everyone it’s endgame?#like just ship it and be happy you get content#you actually don’t have to convince us to ship it as well#you don’t have to try and stop buddie fans from shipping what we want#you are actually allowed to ship what you want without trying to discredit everyone’s theories#plus like even if i’m wrong theories are still fun#even if the show turns out nothing like i’m predicting it will(it most definitely won’t turn out like my predictions)#i still had fun speculating#even if it is all over analyzed (it probably is) it’s still fun#also didn’t tim minear say this season would parallel s4?#in s4 it was HEAVILY emphasized in buck begins that his parents calling him Evan made him uncomfortable#if this season really does parallel s4 (not seeing it yet but idk) then that choice HAS to be intentional
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am i the only one who doesn’t like the eddie x priest trend going around???
i fully believe that would just ruin the buck/eddie situation. like, yeah i understand that buck dated tommy first so it’s only fair that eddie gets to date someone else too.
but on a real note- it’s always been understood (at least on my tumblr feed) that this is how the buddie dynamic works.
buck needs to realize his sexuality before he realizes he’s in love with eddie. eddie needs to realize he’s in love with buck before he can realize his sexuality.
if eddie learns he’s not straight because of a crush/date/hookup with the priest- then we’re just in a never ending loop of “these two idiots” just constantly missing each other.
#i can see why the writers would make it happen to extend the shows plot#but realistically#i think eddie and the priest is a bad idea#i’m okay with the priest being the one to say huh this buck guy seems awfully important to you#and to have him be the one to help eddie learn his sexuality that way#but don’t romanticize them#i also seriously believe that if there was another ship to love then this fandom would just be fucked#we’re barely surviving buddie vs bummy#we don’t need buddie vs bummy vs preddie#that would just kill this fandom#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 on abc#911 buddie#buck and eddie#oliver stark#ryan guzman#911 abc
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i just spent my morning learning the 9-1-1 magnet theory lore and now i can’t see straight
#to the four people who basically invented this whole thing i have 2 things to say#thank you#are you doing okay?#i feel spn levels of insane at the moment#i want it to be real but i also think it would be really funny if it was just like a prop guy#moving the magnets around for fun when he was bored#but at least some of it HAS to have an explanation like where are the magnet men#why those quotes and where did gob bluth go#and the calendars??? pls. america explain#i now know the true meaning of brainrot#girl i thought the couch theory was a lot?? nohr#also this was not meant to be a straight/gay joke but i don’t feel like rewording it so there#the fridge magnet theory#911 magnet theory#buddie#diaz family#buckley diaz family#eddie diaz#christopher diaz#evan buckley#911 show#911 abc#911 fox#em saying things
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Buck and Maddie's relationship is one of the most interesting on the show to me personally.
She was nine, she lost her brother and gained a new one and suddenly she's not just an older sister, she's a parent too. She's nine years old and someone's Mother. While not being allowed to properly grieve the brother she just lost. Not even allowed to acknowledge his existence.
And of course she did the best she could, but she was a child raising another child. No parent has all the answers, but especially not a CHILD who never asked to have this put on them. So she of course got things wrong. One that really sticks out is her explanation about their parents worry when Evan falls off his bike. She kinda put the idea in his head that getting hurt is what will get him that love he craves from their parents. And that was NOT her fault. She was 12. And also living in this abusive household. But she was the one that gave him the idea to continue hurting himself to get attention. And there are likely other things that he learned from her that weren't actually healthy, due to her being a child trying to learn about the world herself.
And when she left for Boston, that would definitely feel like a parental abandonment for Evan due to her being the only parental figure he ever really had. But it WASN'T. It was a 19 year old moving out and going to School, which is what a lot of people that age tend to do. But to Evan, it would feel like the only parent he's ever known leaving him. And logically he'd know that's not the case. She's NOT his mother, she's his sister and she's supposed to live her life and she never asked to raise a child at such a young age. He was NOT her responsibility. But emotionally? That's the start of his abandonment issues.
And it's why Maddie can be kinda overbearing with him at times too. (Especially after the lightning strike...) It was ingrained in her from the age of nine that he's her kid and she has to take care of him. So as soon as she sees him suffering in any way, those instincts come back full force. She's gotta take care of him, make sure he's not going to die while she's not looking. AND make it clear she's not leaving him again.
They've had to figure out how to go from the relationship they had as kids where she was more a parent than a sister, to a new one now that they're adults where they're siblings.
And that's gotta be tough. And I would love more of a focus on that really. Just them still kinda adjusting to having to have this new dynamic. Because logically they both are aware that Maddie having to raise Buck was messed up and unfair for them both. But it's also just what's normal to them.
And any time someone comes for Maddie about not being a good sister it makes my blood boil. SHE DOES HER BEST! She was a child raising a child, and she's now an adult who went through abuse for pretty much her entire life! First the neglect from her parents (plus the parentification) and then her marriage to Doug for like 15 years! Of course she's not perfect. And as much as they both love each other, they ARE BOTH part of each others traumas. For Maddie a big trauma for her was having to raise him, and for Buck a big trauma for him was her leaving. And they've managed to work through that for the most part. It's always going to be there, they're both very defining for each of them. For Maddie having to become a parent at such a young age made her feel as though she couldn't be a very good one due to not being a perfect parent AS A CHILD. And for Buck, Maddie leaving was definitely the start of his abandonment issues. And neither of them are at fault for that, but they both have these issues that are directly tied to each other. It all comes back to their parents though. If they'd just done their jobs as parents, things would be so different.
Some of this may not make much sense as it is very hot here right now and I am not thinking right. But you get what I mean, hopefully. 🤣
I would also like to add to Supernatural fans, you can not claim Dean Winchester is just the best brother in the world for raising Sam and then turn around and claim Maddie is a terrible sister. Especially as Dean could be very abusive at times...
#911 abc#evan buckley#maddie buckley#buckley siblings#anti dean winchester#just to be safe#just at the end there#it just pisses me off#i see so much praise for dean and then so much hate for maddie#i am also not a huge fan of the dean and buck comparisons#sorry for somehow managing to turn this into a dean winchesteer hate post#i've just completely gone off his character#and now that i've gotten started i can't stop#seriously not for dean winchester fans#dni if this angers you#please#i'm ranting#i kinda wanna make a post about why those comparisons upset me#i can't be the only one...#sorry again#just focus on the buck and maddie of it all#that's what this post was supposed to be about#i got way off topic#i would delete all the other tags#but i'm kinda interested in what people have to say
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Found a new, concise way of putting it that I'm gonna try and remember so I can reuse it:
To say, as a straight person, that a queer character's queerness is out of the blue or unrealistic is to claim that they understand the queer experience to be able to identify inaccurate representation of it.
To call a character's queerness out of the blue as a straight person is to claim full understanding of the queer experience.
#YOU ARE NOT A BAD ALLY FOR NOT KNOWING EVERYTHING. YOU'RE A GOOD ONE. IF YOU KNEW EVERYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE YOU GAY NOT AN ALLY.#QUEER PEOPLE ARE NOT JUST YOUR TICKETS TO ELEVATE YOURSELF AS AN ALLY ON THE OCCASIONS THAT YOU WANT TO#WE ARE NOT EVEN IN YOUR PEERS OFTEN. WE ARE YOUR EDUCATORS UNIVERSALLY NOT JUST ON DAYS YOU FEEL UP FOR ADMITTING YOU NEED EDUCATION.#THE DISPARITY IN OUR QUALIFICATIONS IS THAT OF A PROFESSOR AND A STUDENT#AS IS THE AUDACITY OF A STUDENT TO CLAIM EQUAL OR MORE QUALIFICATION#lgbtq#finding ways constantly to rephrase it so people understand why they are not qualified to even attempt to debate#stranger things#also btw this is mostly for straight people because it's an entire different category of this action but no queer person has had every quee#experience either so you can't tell other queer people they're wrong for saying queer characters are realistic either#they match your experience or they don't#straight people have ZERO experience though so it's entirely different because that requires some fucking AUDACITY to claim qualification#mike wheeler#kitty song covey#evan buckley#the entire point of needing more representation is so that you see versions of the queer experience you didn't know about as a straight per#on#we aren't just asking for the same singular queer experience but in a higher quantity across more genres#you have NOT learned everything because you are not able to and that does not make you a bad ally it just makes you a straight person#so when queer people tell you you're wrong DON'T. ARGUE.#'it's unrealistic for them to be queer' really? and list off the exclusive number of ways a person can be queer. right now. go.#people being comfortable with will byers because he represents a queer experience they've seen in the media before#but if they've never seen it on tv before it's 'unrealistic'#no hon. it's unrepresented. there is a very big difference and it's the entire point actually. your lack of education is not your fault but#your denial of it is#lgbtq representation
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Okay, so we're all in agreement that that line from Tommy in the date scene was weird as fuck, right?
#911#911 show#911 abc#911 on abc#911 thoughts#911 spoilers#911 season 7#911 s7#911 s7 spoilers#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911 buck#911 tommy#no but seriously#that line was mad creepy#why the fuck would you hope that your date has daddy issues?#especially when they just told you how important their pseudo father was to them#and basically implied that his actual dad is garbage#also#“your dad's alive”#yeah no shit Sherlock that's why we hate him#like this isn't just me#I know that everyone on my twitter timeline is saying the same thing I am#so im not completely crazy#but dear god#that line was just creepy and weird and so fucking unnecessary#like I was so confused#like what the fuck did he mean by that#and why do you think buck's situation with bobby and his dad is something that you can sexualize?#I just...I cannot
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OKAY OKAY OKAY YOU GUYS BUT WHAT IF!!
What if, in the last few minutes of 7x10, we cut to Frank in his office. The camera is focused on him so we don’t know who’s on the couch across from him.
He’s mentioning the last time the person was there, that they were talking about intimacy & their partner and worries about the future (throwback to Athena on the first episode & Bobby in the cruise ship arc), and Frank asks the person how it’s going…
AND THEN IT PANS TO EDDIE IN THE ROOM LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE AND UPSET AND KIND OF A MESS AND HE SAYS SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF: “I realized I couldn’t commit to Ana or Marisol in the way I thought I should because they’re not what I wanted. I don’t think I like women.” A pause. A breath. “And I think that’s because I’m in love with my best friend.”
END SEASON ROLL CREDITS YOU’LL HAVE TO COME BACK IN S8 TO SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT.
#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#oliver stark#ryan guzman#tim minear#Tim if you use this I will love you FOREVER#I think it would be so funny to start & end the season in Frank’s office#with characters trying to get to the nitty gritty of why they’re feeling things & what they’re ACTUALLY struggling with#idk what would lead to Eddie’s revelation in the last episode maybe another NDE#I’ve always thought that Chris was going to be the one to get them together so maybe something happens to him/he gets hurt#& whether Buck’s with Tommy or not he still comes when Chris needs him because he’s a PARENT & a PARTNER#and he already has a family and Eddie realizes then that he doesn’t need a mother figure for Chris when they already have a Buck#goddamn it i think i just had another fic idea#911#911 s7#911 s7 e10 spec#they haven’t even written it yet so it coULD TOTALLY HAPPEN#bisexual evan buckley#also GIVE ME EDDIE LEARNING WHAT DEMISEXUALITY IS IN THERAPY#demisexual eddie diaz#gay eddie diaz#they are in love#& I need them to realize it#the buckley diaz family#I saw someone say that Buck needed to understand his sexuality to realize his feelings for Eddie#and Eddie needed to realize his feelings for Buck to understand his sexuality & that feels VERY true to me
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okay so i saw this on my dash and although i wasnt tagged i just!! really wanted to do the thing!!
shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs:
Julia by Mt. Joy
Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier
Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan
Moody Orange by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan
Wonderful Nothing by Glass Animals
Hide by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
South London Forever by Florence + The Machine
Lips by The xx
Painkillers by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
tagging some people cause fuck yeah!! music is great!!
@thetangycheesemanwithaplan @kyellin @theredrenard @alost-traveler @the-cinnamontography-is-amazing @gourdita @1waveshortofashipwreck
and anyone else who sees this and is inspired like i was!!
happy listening loves 🥰
#me looking at these:#ah yes wasteland baby....*checks notes* baberoe coded#wonderful nothing? webgott#hide?? soooo traphawk i want to throw up#south london forever is a speirton song to me i dont make the rules#and painkillers is a nix song if im feeling the soul destroying post-war angst!!!#(OH and lips is a symbrock song so fucking hard)#btw rip anakin skywalker hawkeye pierce margaret houlihan evan buckley you would have LOVED pink pony club#you tell me hawkeye and margaret wouldnt belt it into their hairbrushes while jumping around the swamp if they had it on record#you cant you know im right#also also shoutout to goodluckbabeheffron for literally making it it impossible listen to that song without thinking of my sweetest boy#as god intended#anyways i will absolutely give reasons if anyone is curious why for any of these cause i am - if nothing else - an absurd person#what can i say i love!! music!!#also can you tell i've just been listening to the rainbow kitten surprise album “how to: friend love freefall” on repeat??#i cannot recommend it enough holy shit#btw the song “its called: freefall”?? is such a hawkeye pierce coded song it kills me#also listen to holy war and let it fuck you up!!#bonus! not one but TWO exclamation point songs!!!#i dont know why that makes me smile but it does#anyways!!#tag game#em speaks#music tag
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I don't know if it was the audio quality or not but it's so hilarious that Eddie just goes BUCK in such a loud voice. It's giving me 'I'm so cool with my queer best friend I'm so supportive' 😭✋🏽. "You look great together" and he sounds strangled, still talking in a high pitch voice. "Have fun, stay safe!", he probably says as he grins too wide while clutching his forgotten girlfriend's hand tightly.
#idk#it's just funny to think about Eddie being extra enthusiastic to show that he supportive and is A-okay with Buck being bi#but he just makes everything awkward lol#and buck's like what are you doing#and Eddie's like supporting you!#and also I'm a huge fan of Eddie spending his entire date talking about Buck#because he actually so would#mr i learned maths from my gf#also low-key jealous eddie#he'd be like: personally i wouldn't have chosen this place for my first date#and: oh! oh no i would NOT have chose THAT wine buck doesn't even like that one much#and marisol is there like be for real right now#and he's clutching the spoon so hard his fingers are turning white as he cheerily says: tommy's a-he's a nice guy he'd be good for buck#buddie#911 abc#911 spoilers#PLS i NEED unhinged eddie trying to be supportive but also low-key jealous#and keeps doing this until someone points out what he's doing#and he's like WHY AM I LIKE THIS#and someone shakes him like: because you're in love with him!#eddie diaz#evan buckley#evan buck buckley
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fascinating to me, that while abby was gone, she gained a fiancé and two step daughters, and buck gained a husband and a son, and buck isn’t aware of said husband and son, because he thinks they’re just his best friend and his son, who he sometimes has play dates with 🤦🏼♀️
#“’it’s eddie’s house i’m not really a guest.’ 😑#evan buckley get your head out of your ass i’m begging#i wish abby found out about chris but both buck and eddie were busy being weirdo#s over her return#like why is eddie so heated???#oh your boy best friend’s ex came back to town#it was before they even met#it would be like buck getting jealous of shannon#him storming off after saying sam is abby’s fiancé#like okay???#i’d expect that from buck not eddie but sure#why is he jealous over a woman that buck is very not getting back together with#why is he shown to be jealous in general#like hello?? can you hear me??#also s3 having neither of them date is interesting#like buck complaining about being single#(and totally not minding getting not-set up with josh)#like buddie are married (and briefly divorced) in s3#like so bad#and i know it gets worse and more brain melting#but like yeah s3 you are interesting™️#and likeeee the implication that buck almost thinks abby cheated on him while he was waiting for her#my man you met eddie the episode after abby left#like i know it supposed to be a few weeks later but like#literally speed ran a marriage and having a son and you#are mad she has a new family#make it make sense#like the whole point was that they needed to change each other then leave each other#anyways crazy shit happening on the weewoo show#gwen watches stuff
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Can you do a buck x reader where the reader and buck are married but she gets amnesia and only doesn't remember buck and their relationship. But it ends with fluff
where’s my mind?
pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley x fem!reader
summary: you wake up in a hospital bed surrounded by your family and friends, but amnesia took away the memory of your husband, what’s Buck gonna do?
word count: 2,1k
author’s note: thanks to an anon for this request, I hope you all enjoy it, because I definitely had fun writing it 🫧 p.s. requests are open
“Yes baby, I will be home in 10 minutes, just had to stop at a gas station otherwise I wouldn’t make it.” — you say over the phone and sigh. Your day was long enough, of course it couldn’t end well, something had to make it a bit longer.
“Okay love, be safe.” — you hear Buck’s voice and smile. Who would have thought that after four years of dating – you can finally call this man your husband? The past three months of being married were so wonderful, you had everything you dreamed of. “I love you.”
“I love you too, see you soon!” — you smiled again and hung up the phone.
Well, this gas station definitely looks a bit shady, but it was the only one near and you really needed to get some gas.
It was 11 p.m., streets are getting emptier, and flashlights are the only source of seeing something in this darkness. You felt shivers down your spine and thought that it’s time to go home, you didn’t like this place.
Your hand reaches for the car door to get into the driver's seat. But this never happens. Instead, you feel a blow to your head so hard that the only thing you remember is falling to the ground and darkness. If someone got a reward for the most unfortunate end of the day, you would get it today.
Next thing you know, you wake up in a hospital and you try to properly open your eyes, but the light in the hospital is so bright that you squint for the first few minutes. You feel someone is sitting next to you and you turn your head in their direction. It was Maddie.
“Maddie? W-what happened?” — you finally speak and don’t recognize your voice. The voice is so hoarse, quiet and low.
“Oh (Y/N), you’re finally awake.” — Maddie said with a smile. “Don’t worry, you’re fine now, you got attacked at a gas station and had a concussion.” — she took your hand and squeezed it. “I’m gonna tell Buck you’re awake, he just left to buy some coffee. He will be so happy.” — one more smile from her and she left your room.
“Buck? Who’s that?” — you think to yourself and get confused. “Maybe it’s a doctor or something.”
A man runs into your room with a relieved look on his face. You assumed it was Buck. But you really can’t remember his face. Maybe it’s Maddie’s friend or a doctor she knows, she's a former nurse after all.
“Hi baby, I’m so glad you’re awake.” — he rushed to sit next to your bed, took your hand in his and placed a gentle kiss on it. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m sorry, sir, but do I know you? I can’t remember if I ever saw you.” — the confusion is written on your face, you furrowed your brows and looked at him.
But Buck just laughed and smiled at you. You always liked to call him “sir” to tease him. He had no idea why you did that, but he secretly liked it, it made you look cocky.
“I don’t know why you’re laughing, but I’m getting quite uncomfortable by my hand being kissed by a stranger. You better explain.” — you said that and pulled your hand out of his. Why does he think that he has some privilege to do that?
Then Buck realized. You don’t remember him. He felt like his world fell apart in one second. Everything they had been building for almost 5 years just disappeared. Your eyes were saying everything. There’s no love, affection and fondness in them. You didn’t look at him like he was the most important person in your life anymore.
“Maddie, can you explain? This man seems too stunned to speak.” — you said annoyingly, because no one gives any answers.
“(Y/N), I’m Buck, your husband.” — he said with so much pain that for a moment you thought that it’s you who’s acting stupid.
You couldn't lose your memory like that, could you? You remember everyone except your husband. Oh god, you're married, you probably have a house together, lots of plans for the future, but you don't remember anything.
Your head starts to hurt a lot from all the information that doesn't seem real. You look at Maddie and you see that tears are starting to form in her eyes. You see Hen standing outside the door of the room and talking to the doctor. The saddest look you've ever seen is on her face. Everyone remembers everything, why can't you remember?
The doctor comes into your room and gives you a little smile. This smile didn’t say "it's good that you woke up", this smile said "hang on, you have a lot of surprises ahead."
“So, Mr. and Mrs. Buckley, I have some news that I need to share. (Y/N) experienced a severe blow to the head, which led to dissociative amnesia, due to which she may forget something or someone specific in her life.” — so it’s true, you did forget your husband. How long have you two been together? How many good memories did you forget?
“What can we do?” — Buck said, pursing his lips. He took your hand again and squeezed it. This news shocked him, he wasn't ready for it, but he knows for sure that he is ready to do everything in his power to make you remember him.
“The best thing you can all do is put her in the environment where she has been for the last 5 years. Guide her slowly and carefully tell her the events she has forgotten. Memories can come in flashes and this is normal, it means that she remembers and after a while she will remember everything. But I must warn you that there is a chance that she will not remember anything.” — the doctor said and gave Buck a soft look. Unfortunately, he has to deal with many cases of amnesia and the hardest thing is to see the patient's family and know that they don't have the slightest idea what to do next. “Now, if you excuse me, I need to check on another patient.”
There is a chance that she will not remember anything. These words ring in Buck's head. What if she really doesn't remember anything? Would he have to win her love all over again? Would he have to propose to her again? Will they have to build everything again for another 5 years?
2 months later
The door opens. You came back from grocery shopping. Apparently, this is the house that you and Buck moved into after your wedding. Home sweet home, only you don't feel at home. You remember that you lived alone, there wasn't even a man on the horizon that you liked, turns out you're already married.
Buck is very sweet, he hasn't left your side for a second since you woke up. He showed you pictures of you together. Here you are at Bobby's birthday party, here you saw Jee for the first time, here you are at Chim and Maddie’s hospital wedding, here you are spending a free day at the beach. And you could remember those events, but you don't remember living them with Buck.
Yesterday Buck told you that you were supposed to fly to Europe together for the first time in 2 weeks. It's been your dream all your life and Buck was happy to make it a reality. He was happy to share memories with you that would keep you both warm in the future. But the trip will have to be canceled, because he doesn't want to overwhelm you.
“I know it’s a lot and you probably want to run away, but listen, I’m here if you need me. I know you don’t remember me, but I remember everything and my love will be enough for both of us for now.” — Buck put the bags on the floor and came over to you. He stopped in front of you and didn't know how to behave. He wanted to kiss you, but would it be too much? He wanted to hug you, but wouldn't that scare you off?
Seeing how he hesitated, you hugged him yourself. You hugged him to you as hard as you could. The thing is, you were very scared. But Buck instilled a sense of security, he was your safe place. You didn't remember him, but your body remembered exactly how to react to him. And you trusted that instinct.
So far, you have agreed to sleep in separate bedrooms. You didn't want to rush things, and he didn't want to push you. So when night fell, you said goodnight to each other and went to your rooms.
You lay down on the bed and put your head on the pillow, it smelled like Buck. His cologne, his shower gel, the whole room seemed to be filled with him. You looked at the bedside table and saw a photo of you together. So happy and beautiful, in the photo you were somewhere in the park.
“I promise I will remember you. For us.” — you said quietly to yourself and fell asleep.
It was a beautiful sunny day. You look at yourself in the mirror and you're wearing an amazing wedding dress. Your hair, makeup, jewelry — all this made you feel like a princess.
“Athena, I’m so nervous, I don't think I will remember my vows.” — you turned around to Athena while she was preparing your veil.
“(Y/N), you and Buck have been preparing for this wedding for six months, if something goes wrong, it will definitely be Chim that got into some shit again.” — she laughed and took your hand.
“Listen, don't memorize your vows, speak from the heart. Remember how he makes you feel, remember his every look and touch, remember how he looks at you. And don't forget to add his nickname at the end. What do you always call him?” — Athena looked into your eyes and smiled. She knew for sure that your vows would be perfect.
“Light of my life.”
You woke up and were breathing heavily. It was a flashback from your wedding. Of course, you always called him "light of my life." Because he saved you from the darkest stage of your life.
You had your favorite white tulips at the wedding. Buck wanted everyone to come in colorful outfits, but you insisted on a dress code. And the cake ended up being 5 times bigger than you expected, so at the end of the day you handed it out to each guest, so they could eat it at home.
You remembered. Panic began to take over your whole body. Or is it just your love for your husband has returned and your body is responding to it?
You lifted the blanket, got out of bed, and hurried to the room where Buck sleeps. But he wasn't sleeping, you saw the light in his room and opened the door.
“Buck…” — you whispered and felt tears on your cheeks.
“Hey. Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” — Buck saw how panicked you were and rushed to stand next to you. He put his hands on your shoulders and looked into your eyes. “Talk to me.”
“Light of my life.”
He froze. Did you remember? Or is he dreaming? He didn’t want to move to not scare the reality. He just wanted to stay in this moment.
“You don't like oranges, so we immediately told the pastry chef not to offer us cakes with oranges. You really want children, so on our second date we started choosing names for our children. When you were struck by lightning, you pretended to be a Flash for 3 months, and when I dyed my hair and didn't tell you about it, you started calling me because you didn't recognize me, even though I was standing next to you the whole time.” — you started rattling off the facts of your relationship quickly, as if you were afraid to forget, but you remembered everything.
You saw the tears in Buck's eyes and started crying even harder. You couldn't even imagine what he was going through these two months while you didn't remember anything.
“I knew you would remember.” — he said and had the biggest smile on his face. “C-can I kiss you?”
“Please.” — you said it and pulled him to you for a kiss. So desirable for both of you.
“Don’t cancel Europe, we need more memories.”
Buck just laughed, picked you up and carried you to the bed. It's going to be a long night.
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