#him storming off after saying sam is abby’s fiancé

[narniangirl1994]

The scene on the train in 3x18 where Eddie says "It's Abby, his fiancée is Abby" with disgust and then storms off has been interpreted by a lot of people as jealousy. And while I'd like to think that somewhere deep down (or not so deep?) it was, I read it moreso as fear and indignation on behalf of Buck.

How could Buck, this incredible person who has just as much worth as anyone else, so willingly risk his life (above and beyond the call of duty) to save this man on behalf of the very woman who broke his heart? How can he value himself so little to put himself in danger like this (after everything he'd just been through) all for a woman who didn't value him enough to let him go?

I read this scene as Eddie having more care for Buck's life than Abby herself. Yes, Abby was desperate and terrified, but she also knows better than most how selflessly reckless Buck can be and how devoted he always was to her. She knew her fiance was likely in a dangerous predicament and didn't once bother to say "be careful" to Buck as he went off, promising to bring her fiance back.

I know she couldn't know for sure what exactly the situation would entail, but it still struck me as her putting her fiance's life above Buck's own and being ok with any danger he might face as a result of Buck's love for her. Again, I'm not blaming her for the situation or Buck's choices, but as a former first responder who knows what Buck is like, she should know better than anyone what it means for Buck to promise her they'd bring Sam back...

I wish we could have had her acknowledge his worth in that final scene (after Sam hopefully would have enlightened her about what Buck did on the train). On top of thanking him for everything he did to save Sam and apologizing for the way she left things with Buck, a part of me wishes she would have tried to make him understand that he doesn't have to give everything to someone else in order to deserve love or have worth.

But if she had, we might never have had Buck's therapy arc where an objective professional is finally helping Buck realize his own worth. Self worth can't truly come from others, ultimately it has to come from within (although support and affirmation from others certainly helps).

So ultimately I think that scene was critical to Buck's development, but it was still tragic to see Buck (and in some ways, Abby herself) value his life so little. At least it was nice to see just how much Eddie (and Bobby) cared about Buck...