#that line was just creepy and weird and so fucking unnecessary

[makorragal-312]

Okay, so we're all in agreement that that line from Tommy in the date scene was weird as fuck, right?

[yanmuffins]

Hey there

Im actually gonna talk about your other series

I'm super curious for the yandere Batfam dynamic was they find our reader is a vampire, I kinda like the idea of reversing the typical vampire creepiness and instead of us, is the Batfam that really enjoy feeling the reader drinking their blood and each one figure out a way to convince reader.

For example let's say Cassandra manages to figure out which days your instincts are at the strongest so those days she always makes sure it's her turn to stay in the manor to keep guard and make sure you don't escape while the others are doing vigilante stuff

context.

oooooh vampire! reader ask!!! mild spoilers for future fic, gotham by night.

i'm honestly so excited to see where this story will go. this reader will not only have to deal with batfam issues, but also being introduced to a completely new world of vampires and deal with sire issues on top of daddy issues. she's having a great time (not)!

but tbh, i don't think reader would drink the batfam's blood. she would find the idea of feeding on her family extremely gross, and unnecessary, since there's other methods out there. it could be a last-resort thing, if she was starving and close to frenzy, but even then that would be something she would hate to do, as there is a risk of killing them accidentally.

and one of the main conflicts in this fic is yandere! platonic! batfam just not understanding (obviously, since they've never been exposed to it) the richness and intricacies of vampire culture, practices and social dynamics, leading to them to mishandle reader and her new condition as a vampire pretty badly. not only that, but batfam essentially kidnapping reader from her sire (who had also kidanpped her btw) messes up her self-discovery process as a vampire. oh, and a possible masquerade breach! disastrous.

but i can see the batfamily starving reader on purpose, to get her to drink their blood, saying it's safer for her to get used to drinking from her family so she doesn't feel tempted to attack innocent civilians. and she's yelling that that's not how any of this works, but they won't listen. yup, that's diabolical.

you see, this concept pretty much follows v*mpire t*e m*squ*rad* mechanics. and according to established lore, we have a variety of predator types: one of them being bagger, referring to vampires who prefer to consume blood through blood bags instead of live human bodies. this would be convenient for both reader and batfam, but mostly batfam since they could just arrange reader an endless supply of blood bags with ease.

we also have consensualists, who do not feed against their victim's free will (the lines of consent and free will might still be murky, lest they straight up admit they're a vampire looking for blood and won't you please spare some) and sirens, who seduce their victims! i'm not entirely sure which predator type vampire! reader will be, but i'm leaning heavily towards bagger, meaning she doesn't have a preference for biting necks. but who knows?

to be fair, it's a big adjusment for batfam. you were being weird before you got kidnapped (and embraced), and it takes a while and reader almost going into frenzy (aka vampiric reaction to situations of extreme stress, like starvation) for them to find out, holy shit, she's a fucking vampire now! that's what happened! and they can't just... let you go. the situation is complicated. the person who turned you is still out there, and you're unpredictable, and this wouldn't have happened if they just paid more attention to you! so let them keep you safe (captive) and provided for.

ALTERNATIVELY, deviating a bit from the original concept where reader is taken by her sire and then taken by the batfam straight back into captivity, we could have reader being so neglected and ignored in the family that they just don't notice she's been turned, and she gets time to go through a complete change in personality and confidence, and involve herself with the social and political webs of vampire society that wants to establish itself in gotham. it's not drastically different direction for this concept to go, because either way reader will be thrown in the world of darkness (ha), except here the kidnapping happens after she comes contact into it and in the paragraph above it happens before.

reader escapes them either way, cause she's a vampire ofc, and the batfam didn't have enough time and info to prepare and keep reader sufficiently trapped. they'll keep an eye on her, though.

either way, there's room for yandere madness, dark content, neglectful batfamily drama, sociopolitical vampire drama, vampire! reader being cunty, and all that in both ideas, which aren't that different, really.. i'm not sure! sorry for rambling. it's still a work in progress but i'm very excited for it.

[iamlostsomewhereinthegarden]

OHSHC Host club cooking and baking Headcannons

Aka how good they bake and cook

Haruhi

* Haruhi is average at both cooking and baking

* Since she has to make stuff to insure that she and her father aren’t starving

* Also because her father doesn’t cook

* Really extensive knowledge though on all sorts of dishes

* Her father also did say in the anime that she was cooking and taking on the housework from very young

* On top of that Haruhi made hotpot when the host club randomly barged in on het and they liked it

* also even though the vist was a surprise she wasn’t nervous in making anything and just went to the grocery store so safe to says she good at making stuff and it’s edible

Kyouya

* Kyoya is in between average and master,

* He tried to pick it up in order to impress his dad in something his brothers couldn’t do and was better than his sister

* He did so well he actually did get a bit of congratulations but ended up having to teach his sister on how to bake and cook so not so much a nice thing but he did get attention for a bit

* Also because he was able to teach her and his sister became really good at being a wife I’d say he’s really good at it

Honey

* It would be a lie to say he’s not amazing af at baking

* He’s dogshit at cooking anything that wouldn’t include sweets mostly though

* Truly it’s because he has no interest in them so he never cared or cares to learn

* Like if it’s pancakes and such he can cook them amazingly but frying an egg, not so well

* If he was invested in it he’d be amazing in the food world

* Is somehow good at making chocolate from scratch along with syrup, honey and even sugar?

* Man likes his sweets lmao

Mori

* On the other hand as Mori came from a long line of butlers he is very good at both

* Actually a master and is amazing af at it

* Like sir? I’d cook for you but I think my food would pale in comparison to what you eat and can make

* He can make and do anything

* Like Honey being able to make syrup and stuff, Mori can do the same and better

* Sebastian Michael has competition

* There isn’t much to say here he’s too amazing

Kaoru

* Does baking as a hobby

* So he’s decently good at it but can still mess up at times

* He likes it, it’s fun to him and he enjoys it though

* Let’s him do commoner stuff without being weird

* And also makes him normal and not some weird creepy twin

* Finds it relaxing and a way to get Hikaru to go away as he doesn’t like cooking and baking

Hikaru

* For Hikaru he doesn’t like baking and such

* His brother does it so why should he? It’s his brother’s thing and twins should be able to do separate things right?

* He just has no talent in the kitchen don’t let him near one or else the whole place is on fire

* But before even trying he found cooking and baking unnecessary as they have people to do it for them so why should he have to learn it

* Prefers video games and more exciting things

* Renge is better than him

* Has been banned from the Home EC Room for a prank he’s done and not fit cooking

* Like literally has it taken off of his schedule and he can’t pick it ever not that he wants to

* When it’s found out how bad his cooking and baking is the teachers were relieved

* One of the very few classes both twins don’t take together

* Doesn’t care much, more time for pranks and video games!

Tamaki

* dogshit don’t let him close to the stove

* It’s a good thing Haruhi knows how to cook and that he’s rich or else they were fucked

* Has poisoned the host club with his food and has since been banned from entering the kitchen

* Is also checked daily to make sure he hasn’t made anything

* Worse part is, the food actually looks good

* Renge is better than him but he’s better than Hikaru

* Has been banned from the Home EC Room also

* Like literally has it taken off of his schedule and he can’t pick it either like Hikaru

* Very sad over it

* Plays it to the girls he hosts as a curse or finds some thing around it in order to bring more customers so there’s that

* “I can’t cook for myself, so how would I survive without the cooking of my lovely maiden?”

Thanks a lot for reading! Ik I’ve been very non active for a while, but life is life ya know what I mean?

I have a couple more headcannons coming soon, but they’re all in the idea phases and I get writers burnout easily since writing isn’t my fave thing

But I’ll try to get them in quick, thanks again for reading!

[justmaghookit]

Disclaimer these thoughts and feelings are my own and im not judging you if you don't feel the same, this is just how it felt to ME personally while playing the new Dragon Age. If you had a good experience you're under no obligation to read this, I just wanted to get my thoughts out. Hell even if you had a bad experience you're not obligated to read my word vomit. I'm also not looking for debate or argument so if you're considering that kindly fuck off.

And in before anyone thinks they're funny, I actually enjoyed all the previous games from the start.

Spoilers for companion quests but that's it

I finished Veilguard and like, I probably would have enjoyed it more if I gave a shit about Solas but the fact is I do not. I also didn't care for the "elven gods are actually ancient evil mages" plot either that came out of left field near the end of Inquisition with all the evidence at the time being Solas going "just trust me bro"

If the whole plotline didn't feel like just an excuse to justify the games treatment of the elves

Like Bellara mentions in a side conversation about elven myths being really weird and creepy when you look into them but then doesn't actually give you examples.

And myths being weird and creepy alone isn't even good evidence because PLENTY of myths and legends from ancient civilisations are weird and creepy! That's just kinda how they are! Hell the bible is weird and creepy if you look close enough!

And the thing is i didn't start off not caring about Solas, I liked him! Hell I romanced him my first DAI playthrough because I was fascinated by him! But the writings insistent at pushing him at me turned me sour on him.

Like I'm one of those bitches who thought trespasser was an entirely unnecessary DLC cause man I already knew he was going to be the villain in the next game, I got that from the ending of the main game!!!

Also the game just feels short. I'd have to replay DA2 to compare that but it's definitely shorter than Origins in Inquisition(in my personal play time) and everything else feels crushed into a shorter time frame while simultaneously failing to make me feel like I'm under these deadly time restraints as we rush towards the end of the world.

Im making all these big choices but none of it feels impactful because I feel like I've spent barely any time with these characters, which SUCKS because I love the characters! The companions are the best thing about this game!! But I don't feel like I actually get close to them! Hell I didn't even feel close to my ROMANCE option because I felt like we rarely talked.

My partner and I talked a lot and like in the previous games during and after a big decision you could ask your companions their opinions, and sometimes it would give you the option to change their minds if they didn't agree with you(if they like you enough)

And sure i could walk into where they are hanging out and they'll say a line but it felt more like they where talking AT me then TO me.

Also the stupid fucking gifts? You get a non-cutscene of them going "oh thanks :)" and seeing it in their room. They don't talk to you about it, they don't even explain WHY they like it or what it means to them!

I wanted Bellara to tell me how the frog worked! I wanted Neve to tell me the story of the Dock Town mystery! I wanted Lucanis to say something about how is grandmother had a tea set like this!!! I don't even remember the other gifts I gave because they had zero impact!

Also man I can count on one hand the amount of times a companion disapproved of something I did and I dont want yes men! I want team mates who will challenge my decisions and get mad at me. Hell even the companion who gets hardened at the beginning doesn't even challenge you, and they have a reason to challenge you!

Don't even get me started on how stupid that hardened mechanic even is compared to previously.

And then half the companion quests end with really stupid one or the other decisions that do not have to be that way. Like im sorry why does Taash have to only honour ONE of their cultures. Why am I making a this or that decision about the griffons when they could be BOTH these things in the future. Why is Bellara asking ME a DWARF what to do with her people's history instead of discussing it with the other Jumpers? Why does Harding have to choose between her compassion and her rage when by all rights both of those emotions are hers to balance?

I dont know about Lucanis because of the hardening stuff but the only ones that kinda made sense was Emmrich and Neve, and Neve only because I'm a shadow dragon and have a stake in the city. For Emmrich he's leaning on a friend for support during an emotional time. It would have more effect if I felt we were closer friends and had more time together though!!!

Like this game could have been really really fucking good and it has a very decided story it wants to tell and on that front it does it well but its not a story I felt invested in. Maybe if I had read the tie in novels and comics I'd have been more invested but a good game series shouldn't rely on you reading all the tie in shit to be able to pull you in to its story!

I wish the game had been given space to breath and really let me feel close to the characters and the world. I wish I'd gotten that year with Varric and Harding, getting to know them and learning about Solas and what's at stake. I wish I'd had more interactions with my home factions characters, hell maybe even a personal quest to tie in to where you're from!

I cant help but feel like parts of it feel unfinished, like way back when we heard about the writer lay-offs at EA and Bioware we where told not to worry because the story was finished. But I cant help but think that only pertained to the main plot points, that all the little details that are usually lovingly rendered are missing. That Rook's personality feels so one note because they didn't have enough time. That the decisions are so bland because the writers didn't get to expand on them.

All in all to me DAV suffers the same dedregation of all other triple a games. And all other bioware products. Corners are cut and developers are put into straight up abusive development practices that harms the game and harms the industry and most importantly harms the creatives behind it. I really can't blame DAV for leaving me feeling empty when it was made in such a fucked environment.

[lesbianbreastmilk]

Thank you for the template @arisenreborn! T'was fun to fill it out. :>

♛ THE ARISEN:

NAME: Polaris.

AGE: 30.

RACE: Half-elf.

PRONOUNS: She/Her.

PREFERRED VOCATION: Mystic Spearhand.

FAVORED GIFTS: Monster parts, a rock you thought she would like, anything really.

FAMILY: None.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Strong-willed to do what must be done, energetic with those big self-assured grins, defiant of toxic structure.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: A little creepy, nonchalant about whomever she doesn't care about, avoidant.

LIKES: Monster-hunting, sparkly gems, fuzzy blankets.

DISLIKES: Cold mornings, liars, people taller than 175cm.

What was their life like before becoming Arisen? I like that it is left nebulous, but I have a feeling that she hated it and felt confined by it. All she can remember are fragments that make her feel nauseous so, I don't think it's something she'd like to find out about. Part of her never felt quite right as is.

How do they handle being Arisen, and the responsibilities that come with it? I don't think she likes the technical parts of it, but in the grand scheme, the destiny attached to it is exciting in a way that's new territory.

What are their thoughts on Pawns in general? Their unwavering devotion is captivating.

What's their relationship like with their main Pawn? It's freaky (positive? I mean might not be positive for whomever is around). It's mutual, though.

Do they have any interest in being Sovran? What are their opinions on the politics of the world in general? Nope. She thinks the whole thing is unnecessary. And she keeps telling Captain Brant not to call her "Your Majesty" because it feels way too weird. If it were up to her she'd just let Disa do whatever she wants because being a ruler is not something that entices her a little bit. But alas, some sort of cosmic written fate that does not let her stray too far from that path <- (she is very irritated about it).

Who are their love interest(s) and/or closest friends? Lover? Her docile, ever-dependable pawn that loves to get choked and stabbed. Friends? She goes along with Ulrika and Sven. I think part of the reason she even wants to kick Disa in the clit is because she can relate to the feeling of being stuck (and both of them are royally fucked up by her).

What drew them to their preferred vocation? Do they have history with it? She was a Fighter before dabbling in Mystic Spearhand - as a fighter she was putting herself on the line as a protector. But that kind of fighting style slowly lost meaning to her because her views of things drastically changed as Arisen. Mystic Spearhand is STILL a vocation about protecting people, but it's impulsive and quick. It's electrifying and chaotic. Less about blocking attacks and more about reaching for the unreachable.

Do they have any hobbies? Any way of relaxing between all that monster-slaying and traveling? Monster-slaying is her relaxing hobby 😭✋. Sorry she won't be picking flowers or drawing. On that crazy shit 24/7. Maybe if you catch her not slaying something, throwing knives at pictures of people that annoy her could count as hobby.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

♟︎ THE PAWN:

NAME: Colette.

AGE: Probably over 80.

RACE: Human.

PRONOUNS: She/Her.

PREFERRED VOCATION: Mage.

FAVORED GIFTS: Herbs, tomes, a handwritten letter.

INCLINATION: Kindhearted.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Devoted till the end, deeply compassionate, open-minded.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Obsessive, judgmental without noticing, overbearing.

LIKES: POLARIS, theology (whatever it means in this setting), tea.

DISLIKES: Holier-than-thous, stepping on puddles, ogre steak (ew it's chewy).

What was their life like prior to being summoned by their Arisen? She worked with an Arisen who had no interest in anything but helping others (even to her detriment). Oftentimes, refusing to fight or cause any harm. That particular Arisen had been a sister in a monastery after being given away by her mother. And still remembered her life vividly. But Colette was let go of because the Arisen said she was not meant to be there; she learned all she knows about healing from her, but the disconnect was intense. Like trying to talk to a square when you are a circle. Eventually said Arisen just disappeared, most likely committing suicide. It left Colette pretty emotionally void.

What is their opinion on the Arisen? How do they view their relationship? She means the word master WAY too literally. With other Arisen it's formality, with Polaris it's gestures obscenely 😭✋.

Is there anything about the Arisen they find troublesome? Be it a small quirk or bad habit? (Or are they obviously flawless?) At first, she thought her traits of being a little selfish were upsetting, but the more she experienced how good being a little selfish can be… well let's say she KNOWS she IS the main pawn.

What is their specialization and is there any story behind how they cultivated that skill set? Healer (Chirurgeon) and I answered that with the backstory of her first Arisen, ye! But to add more to it; she gained a fascination with herbal medicine and tea. And knows how to speak elvish because the sister Arisen had a close relationship with the elves.

Do they have any thoughts on the politics of the world and their place in it as a Pawn - or how Pawns are treated? She tries to remain neutral because it's her nature, but boy, if she hears something insane from other pawns she gets a little incensed. Because her own current Master is so… perfect for her.

Does their journey with the Arisen change them in any significant way and how? Yes, it does!! Very much so. She sort of carried her first Arisen's death as her fault for not being able to connect with her well enough, but I think one of the things she learned with Polaris is that she can't save everyone.

Is there a reason they chose their preferred vocation? She did end up trying other vocations while serving under Polaris, but she always came back to Mage. I think it's her way of honoring someone's memory.

Do they have any hobbies or preferred past-times? Does getting blasted by the Arisen count? 👽But, really, she likes to sew stuffed animals to give to orphanages or places where orphans are living in.

Ayo, if you read all of this, thank you!!

[gaybd1]

Glad That’s Over

(Chris Suffers Through Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 for the First and Last Time)

ok last one thank god lol

this budget looks BIG

UH OH the credits say the Vampiric Council is back yikessss

Lee Pace??? Rami Malek??? DAYUM

I actually know like zero plot points we’re gonna see in here so my mind is wide open

Wtf I didn’t know Forks had Yosemite….

she just TACKLED a MOUNTAIN LION JESUS

oh okay wow so she’s just automatically good at everything I see

Okay yes I’m DEF gonna bd having problems w this baby, like the massive budget of this film and they can’t even cgi a normal looking kid or get a real baby for this stage

Jacob is such a mom

YEAH BELLA GET MAD THIS IS CREEPY

Lmao Edward w heart eyes like “she’s amazing right look at my wife”

YOU NAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER???? HOLY SHIT LINE OF ALL TIME

Why is Rosalie so obsessed w this baby though

She oughta check in with her parents soon eh

So interested in what their vampire sex is like but also I feel like that’s not my business at all and have no desire to see it

Oh damn lol the fangirlies def went feral over this one in theatres

Lmfao Jacob just stripping in front of Charlie like same tbh but this is hilarious

I do appreciate Jacob letting the cat out of the bag though

This was a dumb conversation just tell him

Bella he’s gonna wonder in a few years why you haven’t aged at all

This goddamn baby he’s obviously gonna figure out where SHE came from

Or maybe not lol

Yeah if I was Charlie I’d be pissed after all that

What did they do wrong why are they in trouble

Immortal Child omg what is that ohhhhhh

Lol Jacob speaking logic like “just tell the volturi they got the wrong idea” and everyone’s like “nah anyway how are we gonna fight”

Alice and jasper peacing out okay???

ohhhh convenient the kid can show people her memories eh

Ok so we got rami here as a waterbender

Oh shit he’s the AVATAR

So yeah I don’t actually know what’s happening

Okay Lee pace. Still confused.

I’m just so bored by all of this the whole series should have ended after the first cutesie half hour of this movie

Anyway all this attempt at like woke international vampires is like near-Harry potter levels of lazy racism…

Alice only told Bella her message bc they love each other actually,

so WHY are they abandoning their daughter??

Are we… gonna get an explanation of how renesmee even exists?

Anyway so if Bella’s a shield that STILL doesn’t explain how she was one before she was a vampire??

Now Alice is back bc sure I guess

Like this ENTIRE last hour of the movie is just unnecessary

Oh fuck and now Carlisle’s dead like come the fuck on

Another one bites the dust

Why are they even fighting? I fucking forgot bc the stakes are really SO low

Idk who any of the dying wolves are sorry am I supposed to be able to tell them apart??

I am not emotionally invested in the outcome of this fight At All

Just fighting to break each others necks k

WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS ALL NOT EVEN REAL. BIGGEST WASTE OF MY TIME EVER

oh jeez are they sending renesmee to live in the Amazon or

Oh slay

This weird little walk down memory lane amv? Also unnecessary but I mean yeah I guess the fans would be into it

Cool that she can like…. Unshield?? Obvs we won’t get a real explanation for that either lol

Amazing that I’ve seen this couple for 5 whole movies and still don’t care about their relationship at all

A thousand years IS an appropriate song to end on though I’ll give it that

Okay yeah I mean I’m glad to know what happens but this whole movie kind of sucked it didn’t need to exist tbh

Glad it’s over

Overall? Interesting franchise. It was whatever but it did kind of hold my interest enough. Will I ever understand why it was such a huge fandom phenomenon? No lol let’s get teen girls crazy about HEALTHY relationship dynamics next time

[basicallyjaywalker]

The stupidest thing ever in Ninjago:

The Love Triangle™

I feel the opinion that the love triangle in Ninjago is one of the worst subplots is not only popular but very correct. heck, even ten year old rook who loved drama and romance hated it because it felt fundamentally *wrong*

And I mean there's the obvious point: it wasn't necessary. We did not need a love triangle we had Jaya and things were fine. I actually think the love triangle fundamentally screwed up the otherwise goofy wholesome dynamic Jaya had and showcases some of the worst flaws in how Nya is written

But we did have it and I have a lot of thoughts about it so in this rant-masquerading-as-an-essay we will discuss

The timeline of the love triangle and Jaya generally

Why it's unnecessary, out of character, and generally pretty dumb as a recurring plot

Why Nya was the least wrong of everyone involved in it and also done the most dirty by it

Strap in because this is gonna be a very angry ride

To Recap…

Jaya was initially hinted at in the pilots with a line that was very uncomfy

" You have a sister? Is she hot?" *Gets elbowed for weird teenage boy crimes*

Thanks, I hate it, but Jay seems to be less creepy when the series actually starts and he has his clear crush on Nya. The crush even seems to be reciprocated and they appear to be unofficially official in S1 and S2, including Jay LOSING HIS MARBLES when Nya is captured and Cole makes an accidental pun

And then we hit S3 and I want to commit crimes.

In episode 1 of S3 there is an exchange wherein Nya is talking about how none of her male students listen to her and

Jay: Heyyy Ms. Nya, I saved you a pudding cup!

Nya: what did we talk about?

Jay: Oh right! Boundaries!

This exchange seems to imply that Jay and Nya are on a break, broken up, or possibly just not together in the first place and I misread things and now that they're older Jays teenage boy awkwardness is less endearing and more just creepy.

In any case, we can draw that Nya is trying to gain more independence, and why wouldn't she? Her life from the start of this series has been defined by either a) her brother or b) Jays affection for her. Even when she was Samurai X her main relationships were annoying the ninja or sharing the secret with Kai and hiding it from Jay. Keep this in mind for later.

So later they go to tour Borg Industries, with the guys visiting Mr. Borg himself and Nya staying with the students. As they tour the invention floor they find *gasp* a machine run on flash! No literally I'm convinced this was some interns pet project Cyrus didn't have the heart to reject. A love machine to find your perfect match and, for fun, Nya steps onto it. All of the little girls giggle and talk about how it'll OBVIOUSLY show Mr. Jay!! And then it beeps and everyone looks horrified. Its. Cole? Wait wtf why Cole?

Prior to this the machine listed a lot of Nya's traits and it seems that it's matching them based on that? It's still odd. Anyways, it'll probably be fine because neither Nya nor Cole has shown any sign of attraction before, even in this episode, and it would make no sense for Nya to suddenly develop a crush based on what a stupid machine says-- oh that's exactly what she does? Well.

Okay sure MAYBE Nya harbored affection for Cole before this. Or maybe the machine makes her realize how much they have in common and that's why. Surely if Cole shared similar thoughts he'd have shown them naturally, since he wasn't part of this whole machine thing as demonstrated in the sudden cut-- oh no he starts making moves and reciprocating out of fucking nowhere? Well.

And then Jay finds out and sure this man has a lot of insecurities and he's bound to be a little jealous but I'm sure since hes a grown adult with a least a little more maturity than when he was a teenager he won't react by beating his best friend to a bloody pulp-- oh ffs. Well.

I will get more into the characterization of everyone later but after this initial fight things do not get better. Jay and Cole are constantly hostile to each other in this season and it continues up until Skybound which was pretty good, actually, and I just wanted to punch Jay in the face for a. Portion. Which solidified Jaya after a healthy dose of trauma bonding! And from what I understand they live happily ever after until Seabound ripped all of our hearts out and turned them to fine mist but I haven't seen past Hands of Time so it doesn't matter

Now with that out of the way, let's get into

Why this entire thing was bullshit.

It was unnecessary

No but fr why did they write this in???? The main reason I can think of is it adds a conflict but here's the thing: if they wanted to develop Jaya, give them conflict and make them stronger as a couple they ALREADY HAD A STARTING POINT. Harken back to the pudding cup interaction earlier. There you go! Nya is tired of her life being defined by the men around her. She wants a break to be able to find herself and be independent again. Jay is insecure and worried this means she doesn't love him and overcompensates trying to "win her back." It offers opportunities for both comedy (Jay finding more and more elaborate ways to try and impress her while everyone else tries to break through to him that he's nuts) and actual serious lessons about relationships (Nya telling him that while she still loves him and maybe one day they can have a future, she needs space and the opportunity to find herself, and maybe he can take the time to find himself too). It genuinely wouldn't change much of the dynamic they have from rebooted to Skybound, is not entirely annoying, and doesn't do either of them dirty in the character development department.

The only other reason I can think of other than extra drama is they wanted to introduce a new relationship dynamic, that of Cole and Nya. But 1. It's obvious from the start that they're not endgame so it's pointless to explore them, it's just for drama. And 2. we already had Pixane this season introduced in the same episode and also know as The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Ninjago. So again, I reiterate that the love triangle was entirely unnecessary because of you wanted a new ship you had Pixane and if you wanted Jaya conflict you could just make it internal.

Everyone is written like me doing a Degrassi AU of this show

Let's start with Nya.

Nya is commonly characterized in the show as an independent, self-confident young woman who refuses to be in a boy's club. But don't take my word for it, because when I mentioned the machine that catalyzed this whole thing listed off details about her, that is exactly what it said. And I don't disagree with it, which is why it feels even stupider that in this whole thing, Nya is just sort of a bystander. Like, let's go through the OOC things she does throughout this plot

-listens to the machine at all

Nya comes across as the type of person who would not trust a simple machine with a dumb name (Perfect Match like really???) to decide her fate unless SHE made it. So for her to not only go along with using this thing with no reluctance, but also just DEVELOP FEELINGS for Cole out of the blue based on it?? Feels so out of character for her!! If anything it would feel more in character for her to get on the machine reluctantly after the girls beg her too, see it's Cole, laugh it off publicly ("haha, Cole? Must be broken") but then worry about it in private or just be unfazed. Nya's independence and desire to be defined by her own actions instead of her brother and his friends' contradicts this action because it just. Doesn't seem in character. IDK this as the catalyst just makes me nuts because of reasons I will get into when talking more about Nya later

-her affections towards cole

I already sort of covered this so I'll just reiterate. Prior to this, there were no clear indications that Nya liked Cole romantically. The machine seems to have planted the idea in her and she ran with it. We've discussed why that's OOC for her. Moving on.

-how she proceeds to act in the dynamic

She doesn't. This is more just bad writing and less her being OOC but it's still OOC that the most agency she gets is yelling at Jay and Cole for fighting at the junkyard and picking which wire to cut which amounted to nothing anyways grrrr--

Sorry that's another scene that makes me mad because it's very dumb. Anyways.

Nya literally feels like a bystander in this whole thing. Her general vibe seems to be. Annoyance with the whole thing. Which I get I'm annoyed too but that only sticks around for S3 and after? It's purely focused on Jay and Cole's conflict. Hell when they have a whole "she's yours you can have her" scene in S4 (which means nothing because it's still going in S5 and S6) SHES NOT EVEN PRESENT. It's just them talking about her like she's an object which feels OOC for both of them too.

I'm going to get more into this when I just talk about Nya so we're going to move on for now

To Cole. What the fuck my guy?

-developing feelings for nya

Never shown to have this before. Doesn't even have a machine to blame. It actually almost feels like he did it to spite Jay. Moving on.

-the fact that it just keeps going

Again Cole has NO reason or motivation or skin in this game? Like it's so weird that he just keeps fighting with Jay over it and is just as passionate about it. It feels like he should be more confused about where he stands on this. Maybe he likes Nya? He never considered it before but maybe he does. But also Jay is his friend and he knows Jay likes Nya too. It's so weird that he literally Mr. Steal Yo Girl's this thing OR just isn't listening to Nya when she obviously seems unsure about her relationship status

Cole's was short because his problems are very surface. He just is here for the plot to work because you can't have Kai do it, that's her brother, and you can't have Zane do it because he has a cool new android gf, and you can't have Lloyd do it bc that's his found family sister. But it just feels OOC the entire time.

Now for the best. Jay. Oh my beloved Jay.

Now this whole thing is semi in character for him. He's super insecure and has a huge crush on Nya, so him being a little upset at Cole and her possibly being an item makes more sense. What doesn't make sense is

-HOW NUTTER BUTTER HIS REACTIONS ARE + HOW PUSHY HE IS

Throughout the seasons this stupid ass plot occurs in, Jay's teenage boy crush on Nya reaches a level that makes me openly and violently cringe as someone who not only loves Jay, but really likes Jaya. First, there's his first reaction to finding out. It makes sense that he's a little upset, maybe hurt, at finding out that apparently Cole is Nya's perfect match, but to then violently take that out on Cole and become weirdly possessive of Nya feels like the writers took his sincere insecurities and cranked them up to crazy levels. Jay is absolutely insecure, don't get me wrong. He definitely seems to understand that he's the clown and coward of the team, and that's part of his arc in Skybound which was pretty good, actually and that's why. But his insecurities have always been portrayed as inward before this. He retreats in on himself and gets anxious, not violent. Take S1 for example, during Once Bitten, Twice Shy (I believe that's the episode) when during his date with Nya he continuously worries about screwing up and runs away to deal with it. He never takes it out on anyone else. He can be physical when he's anxious, iirc he shook someone during a freak out when the Devourer was released, but that was more him just being Extra and not being mad at that person specifically. The only other time his anxieties caused him to lose his shit like this--and caused him to be violent towards Cole over nya, coincidentally--was when Nya was literally captured by Garmadon and the Overlord in S2 after a heated battle was lost and Cole made a very poor word choice, and he stopped almost immediately when Wu intervened because he realized that it wasn't an appropriate reaction. Jay is not a violent person. He's an anxious one. Him attacking Cole over a comment he OVERHEARD from Pixal with no prior build up makes NO SENSE to me.

Additionally in future seasons he becomes weirdly possessive/obsessed w Nya. Again, he was always shown as having a borderline desperate crush on her, but he always kept his awkwardness to a minimum both around her and in private. I mean, take S1 again for example, where he wears cologne to smell good and impress her (well, it was perfume and gave her an allergic reaction, thanks guys, but regardless) as opposed to S6 where he is LITERALLY the pushiest mfer alive. Constantly not listening to her and violating her clearly stated boundaries (one of my least favorite parts of Skybound. I have a lot of feelings about that season and need to rewatch it) goes against his character again!! And yes, the argument can be made that that was because he was trying to force the fate he saw in Possession, but I still think it's OOC for him to become as pushy and creepy as he was. Again, Jay is absolutely an insecure dumbass who catastrophizes and is hopelessly crushing on this woman who is definitely out of his league. however his going so far into the creep zone long after the awkward teenage boy phase feels like the writers, again, took his flaws and just cranked them up for drama

Sorry I've harped on this for so long. It will not get better when I go in depth about how Nya was done dirty in this plot.

Generally, this was a stupid plot

Aside from being unnecessary, aside from being OOC for all involved... The love triangle is just Stupid. Let's look at the actual affects it had for the 4 seasons it occurred.

Rebooted

Jay and Cole have one serious fight and there's one serious scene where Nya has to "choose" that we don't see the outcome of and is literally never elaborated on again.

After that it's jokes.

Tournament of Elements

Cole and Jay don't wanna rejoin forces because they hate each other because of Nya. They have one serious fight in which Cole is like "she's yours" (not how that fucking works). Nya has literally no say the entire time.

Possession

Some light Nya x Cole scenes after Cole becomes a ghost. Jay sees him and Nya together in the glass. Can't remember any serious fights

Skybound

Literally the driving factor of the season.

Notice a pattern? Aside from Skybound, the love triangle serves little purpose other than being a driver for Jay and Cole conflict. Nya has little to no agency, not even being present for the conflicts in ToE. Which brings me to my final point and the driving factor behind why I wrote this whole thing to begin with

Nya was robbed.

I could again write an entire essay about how the Ninjago writers flip flop on Nya all the time, but for now I'll contain it in this essay.

One of my biggest gripes about the writing of this show is how they flip flop constantly between Nya being a character used for the boys development and being an independent character who looks after herself. The love triangle is a prime example of this.

Nya is an independent woman who listens to a random machine when she's trying to define herself apart from a relationship. Nya is a self-confident woman who doesn't get a say when the other two decide who can have her. Nya repeatedly and consistently denies Jay's advances in Skybound, only to make a dramatic turn at the end and choose him.

You see what I mean? It's infuriating. Nya is constantly given lip service as a strong woman, but when the time comes the writers will gladly toss her aside in favor of developing the men in her life. It's annoying, it's aggravating, and it's fully on display in this subplot, wherein she's given little agency and acts like a prop for the writers to use. Jay wins the girl, but why was the girl "winnable" in the first place? Why wasn't she given the space to actually have moments aside from "gasp, she's holding his hand!" to really explore her feelings on camera? Why does her life continue to be defined by her relationships with her brother, his friends, and her boyfriend?

So....

The Love Triangle fucking sucked. It sucked so bad I'm almost convinced it was worse than bringing back Garmadon. It sucked because it was pointless, with even a 9 year old able to see where it would end. It sucked because it took two seasons of characterization for three different characters and threw it out the window. It sucked because it was barely important to any development other than Jay's, and it required making him worse than he is to work. It sucked because it represents a cornerstone in a larger problem surrounding how Nya is treated in the series.

It sucked so bad I spent almost a week writing a 40 paragraph essay/rant about how much I hate it.

[zalrb]

did you like chronicles of narnia? i don't think I've ever seen you talking about it and i would love to hear your thoughts on the movies and/or the books if you have anything to say

hmm, yeah, i don't think i've ever spoken about the chronicles of narnia, i liked it a lot as a kid but it never really stayed with me as an adult probably because without getting into the blatant religious overtones, it really is quite heavy-handed and very much for children although i did write a paper in high school basically saying that while i was a fan of harry potter, the books just treaded on a lot of what narnia and lotr already did hahaha. some notes my teacher had about my premise, which is interesting

the first thing i ABSOLUTELY need to say about narnia is that as a kid, i read the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe many times. i read it at home (there was this actually this one audio book that me and dad listened to when that i really loved because of one line when lucy takes them to the wardrobe and it's still just a wardrobe and peter in the most sarcastic voice goes, "what a surprise" and i BURST out laughing particularly since i don't think that's even in the book??) then we read it in my grade 3 class and one day my teacher brought in turkish delight and i was freaking the fuck out because i always wanted to know what was SO good about turkish delight that edmund would sell out his entire fucking family, i was like i need to know what this tastes like. my teacher, miss k, took out this really pretty red tin and i was excited AS FUCK. then i tasted it. i don't think i have ever been more disappointed in my entire fucking life. i HATED it, i hated the texture, i hated the taste, i was furious. and i remember talking to my teacher because she was like you have to understand that they're growing up during the war and things like candy were a luxury and i was like fine but for THIS candy? no. absolutely not. no. nope. NOPE. flashforward to about three days ago, i'm scrolling through IG and there's this one reel where this woman was like, ok we need to discuss edmund and turkish delight again because i know we ate it and were like this is a mediocre treat (for me i actually almost threw up when i took a bite so a bit worse than mediocre) and she reread the passage where he eats it and c.s. lewis describes it as basically once you eat it, you just want to eat more so the woman in the reel was like edmund basically gave up his family for the kiddie version of cocaine so we should be more lenient and i was like LMAO fair.

so, for the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe i remember thinking the movie was pretty much exactly how i pictured the book. except for the white witch that's not how i pictured her but i was like, that's absolutely edmund and lucy and susan and peter, that is great casting and i particularly liked when mr. tumnus gets lucy to sleep because i thought the movie really elevated that part of the book and really leaned into the eeriness and creepiness of it. aslan's death was also very stressful for me.

OKAY. prince caspian. i haven't seen prince caspian since i saw it in theatres so i'm only going on what i remember from the movie, which is that i didn't like it, i didn't like the peter vs. caspian (ugh demon eyes) thing because that's not what happens in the book if i remember correctly and it seemed unnecessary and it made me uncomfortable because susan and caspian were having their little thing whatever that was and peter felt like his authority was threatened and it oddly felt like a weird love triangle because susan was caught in the middle and i was like i don't like any of this, please keep it. and i didn't like it so much that i didn't bother watching voyage of the dawn treader.

i really liked the magician's nephew, which is probably the most overlooked book of the series even though it starts it, i was obsessed with the wood between worlds as a kid, i just loved the way it was described

kind of like how i was obsessed with the ents in high school, lmao, i just harp on things sometimes, out of all of them, i actually think it's the most magical book.

[alheria]

Ownership (one-shot)

Ghost fucking hated joint exercises.

They always felt so...unnecessary, especially now with his many, many years of unquestionable, extensive experience and equally impressive mission portfolio. He's a cold-blooded, efficient, reliable killer, but apparently that is not enough for the army. The ten days long training scenario with allied international teams was mandatory, what he learned during the hopeless attempt to somehow get out of it.

"Please, don't test my patience Simon. Suck it up.", Price said, not even for a second looking up from the documents he was working on. That guy surely didn't take anyone's crap and it showed. Ghost couldn't blame him, being in charge was not easy, a tremendous responsibility of keeping a bunch of reckless idiots alive mixed with a shocking amount of paperwork. Himself, Ghost would never want to be in such position, immensely enjoying the exclusive field work. But it doesn't change the fact he was still pissed. Fucking bullshit, stupid ass exercises.

And if that was not enough, something weird started happening around his boyfriend.

The new guys seemed to really like him.

Which was rather surprising considering König's intimidating and unapproachable aura combined with the spooky looks of a crazy tall, ripped beast wearing a creepy mask. Also, the young soldier was openly hostile towards strangers, not interested in making friends unless it was absolutely necessary or somehow beneficial. He often remarked that there is no reason to bother if you're probably never gonna meet them again. Quite a reasonable assumption in their field of work to be honest.

Why the sudden change then? What was so different about those soldiers, he decided they were worth his precious attention? 

Ghost had no fucking clue. But wished he had because this whole peculiar ordeal was weirding him out.

They knew each-other for almost two years now, been officially dating nearly a year and a half, and it was the first time he witnessed the Austrian publicly act in such manner: engaging in an actual conversation and using whole damn sentences instead of nodding in silent acknowledgement. Sounds like something completely normal, although not in this case. In addition to being big and scary, König was very quiet and noticeably withdrawn due to rather prominent social anxiety he still struggled with. It took the lieutenant months to get his utterly fascinating partner to feel truly comfortable around him, even though the two of them crossed the intimacy line not too long after they met. And all that hard work to uncover what exactly hides under the thick protection layer was totally worth the trouble.

At least that's how it felt before. Cos right now, it looked like König didn't mind acquainting with a bunch of random people, opening up a little. Perhaps it was a positive sign, he needed to start working on those social skills sooner or later for the teamwork's sake, and it probably wouldn't be troubling Ghost much if not for that one soldier who literally glued himself to the Austrian.

The fucking French guy.

A vibrant red light flashed in his mind the second they got introduced. There was just something about that non-stop smiling man rubbing the lieutenant the wrong way. Cedric, or whatever the fuck his name is, was slightly taller than Simon, but rather slim build, had very short dark hair and something sparkled in his brown eyes when he saw König for the first time.

Since then, he constantly followed the masked killer, talking about devil knows what and making the Brit's instincts scream in an itching need to eliminate the unlikely threat. Why did he perceive this dude in such an intense way was a mystery. Never being in a relationship before, the concept of being jealous was not only hard to comprehend - admitting to it seemed impossible. Ghost was too proud to have such juvenile feelings, especially ones implying he has vulnerabilities��of some kind. It was also incredibly stupid to think his boyfriend might cross the line. König would never. They were working great as a couple, their extremely different personalities surprisingly turned out to be a perfect fit, and it was obvious how deep their bond is. Yet, he talked to Cedric as if they knew each-other for years, was visibly comfortable in his presence, clearly wasn't minding the unfamiliar hands frequently touching his arms, back and waist as they laughed together. And maybe at night the Austrian as usual kept sneaking into Ghost's too small for the two of them bed to fall asleep between his strong arms, but somehow this sense of uncertainty didn't want to leave him alone. It was fucking annoying.

So on the sixth day of this shitshow, when Gaz had to physically stop him to prevent a major case of "friendly fire" from occuring, after the French soldier whispered something right into König's covered ear, Ghost decided enough is enough. His boyfriend needed to stop being close with that guy right fucking now, or double murder will be on the menu tonight. 

Not wanting to make a scene in public because it's not how a stealthy assassin operates, Simon patiently waited for an ideal opportunity to strike, forcing himself to stay calm and vigilant while that fucker shamelessly flirted with the seemingly clueless Austrian. Oh, how he wished it was an enemy soldier, not an ally. He would be long dead.

Luckily, an opening to act formed on the very same day, after everyone was done for the day and more than ready to hit the bunks, exhausted by a challenging training scenario, including the lieutenant who after having a work related chat with Price, slowly walked back to sleeping quarters when he saw it, and rage started to burn. There was a hand in the middle of König's chest firmly pressing him into the hallway wall, while the other palm gently pulled on the thin face cover, as if the Frenchman was trying to persuade the younger man to remove it. Which was absolutely not fucking happening for two reasons:

1. There was nothing König feared more than having his mask taken off in public, and would never consent to such a thing.

2. No one was touching Ghost's boyfriend without his consent.

The lieutenant quickly crossed the distance between him and the pair, grabbed Cedric's neck and shoved him backwards, right into the opposite wall.

-Learn how to keep your hands to yourself, or I will fucking break them. -he warned, gazing furiously at the terrified soldier struggling to breathe with a strong hand tightly squeezing his throat. Ghost for a second considered holding for a little too long. End his life. But feeling something repeatedly tug on the back of his shirt, the Brit hesitantly let go of the suffocating man who immediately fell to the floor, and dissatisfied turned around towards the clearly distressed Austrian. His eyes turned glossy, making the lieutenant's anger slightly fade. -With me. Now. -ordered, grasping König's arm before dragging him in their room's direction, leaving the heavily panting man behind.

It was an unpleasantly silent walk, tension so dense, a knife could cut right through. The younger soldier obediently followed his boyfriend, knowing well-enough that a visibly pissed Ghost should not be messed with if one wished to stay alive, what he learned the hard way a while ago when he got himself separated from his team and recklessly injured. 

-Ouch! -the Austrian whined once his already sore body roughly hit the wall the second they entered the dark bedroom. -The fuck you doing Simon?! -questioned when the lieutenant's muscular arms cornered him, desire to kill resonating from his hostile posture.

-You're mine. -he growled. -Mine, and no one else's.

Till death do us part.

-Of course I am, you know that! What is this about?! -demanded the younger man, struggling not to break the painfully intense eye contact, aware his partner hates when he tries to avoid confrontation. It was uncomfortable, but it truly did help to be a little more assertive.

-I just very much dislike my property being played with. -the Brit responded vaguely, confusing the hell out of the other soldier, who thought the anger was caused by his new friend crossing the line when he wished to see the hidden face.

-What are you talki...Ach du lieber Gott! -König gasped once the shocking realisation hit him like a truck. It wasn't about Cedric messing with the mask, it was about Cedric in general! Someone was feeling insecure. There was no reason for him to worry and yet, he almost killed the poor French guy to protect what's rightfully his. -Babe, are you jealous? -he asked confidently, despite suspecting that bringing up such a delicate subject to an already furious assassin might not be the brightest idea.

-I don't get fucking jealous! -Simon barked before dropping his pounding forehead onto the Austrian's shoulder. He was exhausted from all those intrusive, unidentifiable emotions mixed with rage spin inside his mind. -I don't. -sighed in resignation.

He was jealous.

Or rather afraid to lose someone so insanely important to him, the sole thought made him feel sick. Ghost didn't think at this point he could just...let König go. He owned every piece of that beautiful man, who unknowingly had Simon wrapped around his finger.

-So this whole week...you must have been in agony. -implied the Austrian, wrapping the long arms around his boyfriend's wide back, leaning down to speak closer to the covered ear. -Watching Cedric and I get a little too close, spend nearly all the time together, talk, laugh, touch. How did that make you feel? -whispered, gently caressing the tense spine with gloved palms. 

Ghost snorted in disbelief. How did that make him feel?! 

Like there was an itch under his skin he couldn't scratch off. An annoying sensation that intensified terribly any time he saw the two men together, lost in their too comfortable world he wasn't a part of. It fel...wait. What did König just say? Getting a little too close?

...he knew that soldier was flirting with him.

He knew...because he allowed him to!

-...fucking bastard. -Ghost hissed, roughly pushing himself away from the taller man's embrace, pure fury burning in his eyes. -You did it on purpose, didn't you?! You flirted with that French fucker to piss me off! -he shouted, firmly grabbing his boyfriend's shirt and violently shaking the heavy body. -Why?!

-Doesn't matter why! -the Austrian refused to explain, clearly embarrassed by getting caught red-handed, and scared a bit. He just wanted to make Simon jealous, didn't expect his silly game to escalate to the point of being in real danger.

-It does to me! -the Brit informed, his tone somewhat calmer but still dead serious. -Babe, I need you to tell me what I did. Now. -demanded, letting go of the trembling soldier, taking a step back to give him space.

-...you called me your friend. -König mumbled after a moment of hesitation, and upon hearing that, the lieutenant's jaw just dropped.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Roughly two weeks ago, the two of them were chilling in a bar after a "civil" mission in a big tourist city, when an old acquaintance of Ghost appeared out of nowhere. Surprised by this unexpected meeting, he might have introduced his boyfriend as a friend. Which was an honest mistake, the lieutenant was still not used to being in a relationship, let alone talking about having a long-term partner. He didn't even realize what happened until now! That adorable idiot seriously needed to learn how to properly communicate his problems. 

-You're a fool, König. You should've said something, I would've corrected myself, you know I would. -he sighed, gesturing for the younger man to take his mask off. Once the blushed face was in full view, he cupped those soft cheeks and pulled his boyfriend down for a sweet forehead kiss before letting go. -Well, I wanted to teach you a lesson for acting up, but perhaps in this situation, I should let it slide. -the lieutenant shrugged nonchalantly, already moving away towards the tiny bathroom to shower before sleep.

-I strongly disagree! -exclaimed the taller soldier, quickly grabbing Ghost's arm to stop him. -For being a brat, I absolutely deserve to be thoroughly punished!

And, oh, Simon did like hearing those words very, very much.

-Alright then, you attention-seeking whore. -the older man nodded, swiftly removing his own mask as he circled the Austrian and stopped behind his back. -On your knees, sweetheart. -ordered firmly, and without a warning, swung his shin right into the back of the soldier's knees, making him instantly fall to the ground with a loud thump and a surprised gasp. The younger man was thanking the heavens for the soft knee pads when Ghost shortly appeared in front of him, holding his thick, half-hard penis in the large palm. -You know what to do.

König's eyes went wide, dry throat subconsciously swallowed at that mouth-watering sight. Of course he knew. His lips instantly parted, tongue slid out in an inviting gesture, ready to taste the hot flesh. Not wasting any time, Simon roughly shoved his length into the opening, and began to fuck the choking soldier's face, his pace absolutely brutal. It was crazy hot, seeing the scary killer tear up while the fat dick deprived him of oxygen. Nevertheless, the Austrian seemed to lack gag-reflex, clearly well-used to having this cock in his mouth. Thinking about it made Ghost rock hard. The wave of pleasure encouraged him to speed up the thrusts, chase the desired release. To make himself feel even better, he cupped the head and held it steady as his hips bottomed down in the contracting throat.

-Goin' to come, baby. -he groaned, feeling the orgasm approach slowly but steadily. The precise movements soon turned erratic, breathing got louder, euphoric fog clouded the sharp eyes. A few more times the lieutenant slammed into König's mouth before burying himself fully inside to reach the ultimate relief. 

-Good boy. -the Brit praised his starved for air boyfriend as he withdrew, a warm hand gently caressed the flushed cheek. -Now, I'm going to take a shower. In the meantime, you'll get naked, prepare your pretty ass to be fucked and nicely wait for me right here on the floor. -Ghost ordered, crouching down to meet the glossy eyes. -If you touch yourself, I'll break your arms, is that clear? -he asked, firmly squeezing the painfully erect crotch strained by tight pants.

-Yes, sir. -the Austrian obediently responded, earning himself a second tender forehead kiss prior to his partner leaving.

Simon did not plan on taking a break, however it somehow felt appropriate to make König wait as an additional punishment for his shameful behaviour. And oh, despite being more than ready to fuck that slutty hole, he did take his sweet time, knowing his boyfriend won't disobey, will be sitting in the exact spot he pointed at, silently begging for him to return and touch the neglected penis.

Ghost was not wrong, once he left the bathroom, the big, scary, naked assassin was on all fours, chest plastered to the ground, head resting on a flat pillow, wet with lubricant cheeks high up in the air, exactly where they needed to be. The position was so erotic, the lieutenant's dick fully hardened in an instant, a purr escaped his dry throat as he approached, hungrily squeezed the muscular globe while the other hand traced the spine, sliding down to the neck it firmly grabbed and pressed to the floor. Bent over his man, the Brit kissed the burning shoulder and whispered:

-I hope you prepared yourself well.

König's mind glitched when the wide shaft forcefully slammed deep into his tight hole, filling him to the brim. Not giving a chance to get used to the feeling of being stretched insanely wide, the cock quickly retreated, just to thrust again a moment later. Ghost's brutal, powerful rhythm clearly mirrored how he felt seeing his boyfriend around Cedric - like he was about to lose his fucking mind and go on a rampage.

-You're mine, don't ever forget that. -Simon groaned, clawing onto the trembling hips, ensuring there will be bruising. Maybe no one would see it, but the knowledge this beautiful, strong body is marked with his presence was somehow comforting. The Austrian didn't respond, busy moaning and whining as the massive penis constantly grazed his sensitive prostate. After such a long time, the lieutenant knew exactly which angles turn the vicious killer into a whimpering mess. To tease him even more, he slid one hand towards the erection, trapped the base between two fingers that only sat there, putting some much-needed pressure, although not making König feel any less frustrated, opposite actually. -Apologize. -Ghost demanded, slowing down the thrusts, ruining the approaching orgasm for both of them. What was something he did not enjoy doing until one day, by an accident, he learned how emotionally his partner reacts to being denied sexual pleasure once he was close to release.

-I'm so-so sor-ry!...It was a mmmistake! -the younger soldier cried out, his voice muffled by the pillow. -I was s-s-stupid!...Ne-ever aa-gain...promise! I promise! -he assured, hopelessly wriggling his butt to feel some more friction inside, where the soaking wet cock moved horribly slowly.

...so pathetically predictable.

Ghost laughed at that clear distress, and promptly adjusted the speed to get them back on track, his thrusts very purposeful, aiming to make them feel good quickly, so they can catch as much sleep as possible. The hand holding the twitching penis, wrapped fully around it, finally started jerking the leaking shaft as their bodies collided. The sudden flood of arousal overwhelmed König's barely working mind to the point all he could sense was Simon's burning touch. Nothing else existed.

-Now. -the older man ordered, realizing he is merely a push away from falling off the edge. The Austrian understood the vague request perfectly, his stretched insides contracted violently when the painfully hard cock for the last time thrust into Ghost's palm. The Brit's weight instantly pressed him to the floor as he heavily overflowed the hole, his own spending penis uncomfortably trapped between the floor and his chest kept releasing as well, no end to be seen.

They stayed connected on the dirty ground until it became unbearable, too greedy and exhausted to let go right away. Once they parted, the lieutenant had to physically drag the other soldier under the shower, his limbs numb from the awkward position, brain still not operating properly. He was sore, weak and needed Ghost to take care of him. Which always happened, no matter how mad Simon was.

A truly responsible owner. 

-König, you asleep baby? -he asked as they lied together in the too small bed, entangled in a close embrace, the satisfied Austrian peacefully dozing off on his naked chest. -I have something important to tell you.

-Not yet. Soon. -mumbled the younger man, leaning into his boyfriend's hand gently caressing his damp hair.

-Good. -Ghost whispered, and before elaborating further, pressed a tender kiss to the flowery smelling head. -Flirt with someone else ever again, I'll make you dig your own grave.

Then I'll personally snap your neck.

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 22: AHS 5x03 Mommy

There’s always so much going on in these episodes. I have to say, this wasn’t a bad one. I liked that it focused more on the female characters and generally stronger story lines and less on the serial murders or the ghost sadist or what the fuck ever.

I liked the scene between Sally and the detective, minus the shadowy appearance of the rape demon in the background because I could do without that—not because I ship them or anything but just because it was hot and creepy with the flickering lighting, etc.

I don’t feel like I know enough about Iris and Donovan to really… get the extent of their emotions with each other. I mean… I don’t want to say ‘I wish we knew more about what made her an awful mom’ because there might be more of that in later episodes that I forgot about. Certainly the one story Donovan told in this episode was not flattering and it gave an indication of what sort of bad mom she was: faddish and selfish. But… mmm, I have a bias toward female characters and also toward moms. And Iris’s main character trait across three episodes is loving her son a lot and giving up her whole life in devotion to him and so it’s hard to take his side on it. I don’t want to say that Liz summed it up as well as can be with ‘no one will ever love you more than her’ because there are certainly some implications from that I won’t sign on to, but for the purpose of this story, sure, that basically is what it comes down to.

(Also, the usual, love Liz, “No self-pit in my bar!”)

So I guess overall I liked the Donovan and Iris story this episode and it had a fitting ending. Also, I want to know more about them; I like that time is being spent on them, even if it seems like more tell than show in a way.

I really like Chloe Sevigny’s character, I guess mostly because I like Chloe Sevigny, and it was nice to see her getting a voice over and a chance to be front and center for a bit. Drop that sad-sack serial killer husband! Drop him! Get rid of him, he’s baggage!

I vaguely remember some of her story going forward but I don’t really remember what I thought of it, so we’ll see.

I think there was just the right amount of the Countess in this one. Just enough for her to be glamorous and appealing and sexy in a violent way (violent in a sexy way?) but not so much that it gets boring or that we’re spending like 20 minutes out of an unnecessary 70 on softcore blood porn. I enjoyed her Bernie Madoff back story lol. One of the narrators in the oral history project at work was at the Madoff sentencing and now I’m imagining her meeting the Countess and it’s just all very funny.

Perhaps my favorite part of the episode was the Pam Grief, I mean Angela Bassett, I mean Ramona Royale or whatever little vignette in the middle. It was stylish and over the top and sexy and weird, and the right length, and she had such a great entrance. I’ve honestly completely forgotten about her so I’m excited to watch that story line as if it were new.

Overall, I… do think this season has some good characters and some good ideas. It’s a lot better when it focuses on what I consider its stronger aspects, worse when it’s just the Two Sadists Show. It also helps when someone edits it down to a regular hour long show length, as opposed to when it’s allowed to creep to 65, 70, 75 minutes for no reason. I wish it were campier, I think. I enjoy the spare bits of humor: the Bermuda shorts with cannabis, the “if this were hell, I’d be wearing your ugly ass outfit” line. Maybe it’s my fault for taking it too seriously but I wish it were… less serious.

[cerastes]

Post-‘Under Tides’ subject again, but we didn’t talk about Laurentina interacting with the Doctor. This is probably more “your personal headcanon” territory than speculation about “intended canon”, but how do you think Skadi, Specter, and Laurentina feel about the Doctor?

I feel it is safe to assume you have them at 200% Trust, and that you factor this in.

Obviously, Spoiler Warning.

It would be very awkward probably! Specter was super extra brainwashed, and her treatment of Doctor as Specter was pretty much as a figure of reverence and adoration, if you go by her lines. Laurentina, without the brainwashing, will probably be like "mmh hey dude... Dudette? Whichever, listen, that was pretty fucking weird and I gotta warn you, I ain't like that in the slightest, I got a mouth filthier than an Originium fallout sector and I like to donate knuckle sandwiches to everyone hungry for some pain, that cool, right?" but at the same time she'd be pretty thankful nonetheless since Doc takes care of people and Specter is no exception. Double points since Doctor is one of the very few people that had any sort of clearance to interact with her, so she's probably really thankful, since she DOES remember her time as Specter. They'd fit like two cannibal midgets in a big man's ribcage nonetheless since Doctor is super good at handling spicy personages, but I suspect Gladiia would be keeping a preeeeetty tight eye on good ol' Doc, since her Mom Instinct will be flaring pretty hard.

Skadi, on the other hand, we know to be one of those Operators that likes Doctor a lot and even tries to awkwardly ask them out for a drink in some of her lines. Hell, even as Corrupting Heart, it's clearly stated that Doc is one of those presences in her life that she trusts the most. Now, this is just me, but I think weirdos attract weirdos, and this is true for Doctor in general -- what with their good relation with noted weirdos like Lappland, Phantom, and Sesa, for starters -- but definitely plays a role here since Skadi is in an almost literal fish out of water situation here, in addition to being a musclehead (not dumb) that, in her case due to her insane physical strength and fighting skill, correctly assumes that she can solve most problems by beating them to a pulp. Doctor is the exact opposite, but also clearly has many years of experience solving problems and winning battles, so that's probably fascinating to her. I personally think Skadi is also soft and doting on Doctor because, of course, Doc is someone actively looking out for Specter, which she doubtlessly appreciates, given how much she cares for Specter/Laurentina.

A thing I love to think about, however, is more extraneous character relations. Personally, I want to see Laurentina interact with others outside the creepy and wet Aegir. In fact, something I wish to see is:

Laurentina: "Hey, Taxes, I hear fr--"

Texas: "Texas."

Laurentina: "Yeah, that, I hear from Waai Fu that you're pretty damn good in a fight, apparently you two threw down in the Lungmen streets one time?"

Texas: "That would be correct, yes."

Laurentina: "Cool, cool, how about we go to ol' Dobermann's shack of toys, pad ourselves up, and throw the fuck down? I could use a good knuckle sandwich right now, and I want to taste your cooking. Hell, we could even trade recipes."

Texas: "Look, this all sounds wholly unnecessary, and I don't have the ti--"

Laurentina: "I'll take your trading post shift if you agree."

Texas: *looks at the trading post*

The Forbidden One:

Texas, adjusting her gloves: "Deal."

I also like to think she'd have fun dynamics with Blaze (boisterous bruisers) and Lappland (fight-loving freaks). Like, she'd intentionally go out with Lappland to seedy bars to get in bar fights and then get chastised by Gladiia because that is VERY unbecoming Hunter behavior, but you KNOW after the lecture, Gladiia says "ok, you BETTER have won", which is a non-issue when you, you know, can throw cars around and can shrug off the sort of damage that would kill other people ten times over, with a toothy smile.

[burningthegallows]

Sometimes, when I think too long about muggles in the hp universe, I trick myself into thinking that jk* was cleverer that expected.

There is something inherently … intentional about the fact that the only muggle characters in the books are the dursleys. And they suck. They extra suck, even for muggles, we know this— but Harry doesn’t. And yet, Harry never turns to bitterness. He never turns his anger towards the people that locked him in a closet, never thinks of wizards as superior (never overtly, at least)

It’s pretty disturbing actually, how skillfully jk* has othered muggleness, to the point of Hermione. Hermione is emphatically NOT a muggle, but why not? Poor kid can’t ever go home again. Even her parents’ storyline reinforces that.

There is something bewilderingly real about a group of bigots hating people just like themselves for arbitrary reasons. And then figuring out ways to be extra awful to the people that bridge the groups. (Especially when squibs exist.)

This is what real prejudice looks like — irrational, insecure, and cowardly.

And the fact that there are no other muggle characters in the books (beyond Hermione’s parents, I think, there are no other muggles that have lines and meaningful roles— correct me if I’m wrong) means that not only does 1) jk* never have to provide any arguments or justifications for the prejudices (beyond that one excerpt from a history text about wendlyn the weird) BUT ALSO 2) that there is no hope for defeating prejudice — because that’s impossible without diverse voices at the table. (I’m side-eyeing mr. Weasley hard here; the bills are labeled, sir, don’t be fucking weird about it).

But did jk* do it on purpose as commentary? Or is it just an accident of her creating a world where the main drama is driven by a fucking hitler wannabe and then asking 11 year olds to handle it.

Was it a criticism of white supremacy or simply a criticism of the extremists it can produce?

At the end of the day, this is the main reason I dislike the hp series today (I will live and die in fanfic).

Jk*’s epilogue showed us that her number 1 concern is maintaining the status quo—Harry’s kids are still getting on the same quaint train (for a completely unnecessary 6+ hour journey); Harry’s still perpetuating the hetero agenda, as are all his friends and former classmates (it’s the fact that this is the ONLY thing we know about their future selves that is so disturbing, not to mention that it alllllllllllways feels creepy to end childrens books telling children the point of life is to pop out more kids. Your targeted demographic DOES NOT NEED FAMILY PLANNING ADVICE FROM THE RICHEST WOMAN IN THE GD WORLD. PICK A BETTER MESSAGE ASSHOLE.) the kids still get sorted into isolating and polarizing houses (god, just look at fb algorithm to see how bad of an idea THAT is); etc etc….

Anyway. This is fucked up because it’s the status quo that had the war repeating itself. Grindewald and hitler; Voldemort and _____ (I never actually knew who voldie’s muggle counterpart was supposed to be; this is not a quest for suggestions. I shudder to think who jk* would have chosen). And so her ending... Her god damned cyclical ending is deliberately choosing to continue living in a broken system that churns out prejudice and a genocidal maniac popping once a generation.

It gets worse though when you look at the way she presents Tom riddle and Harry Potter as foils to one another in book 6, when Harry sees the life of young Tom riddle.

What was her point here? Why make their childhoods similar? Malfoy is a much more interesting (and potentially resolvable) foil than the genocidal maniac.

I’m also not sure how I feel about presenting Harry and Tom as similar looking, with a similar childhood, and similarly high powered. There feels something classist here, something gross that she’s saying about poverty (feel free to stick around for my later installment of Screaming into the Void regarding the absolutely unnecessary repeated humiliations of the weasley family; if you want to know what a textual micro aggression looks like, any of Harry’s observations of Ron’s face when money is discussed are prime examples)

My point is…. How do we grapple with a text that has taken so many world-building short cuts, it’s actually managed to say something incisive and painful about our own reality?

And how do we grapple with that ending? An ending that only promises a brief reprieve with the same battles rising up again in the future?

(Why keep telling that story anyway? If the only story we know is try hard and accept partial success leaving the real battle for the next generation, why would anyone ever try to do better?)

tldr: the fucking hatred is baked in.

And in her final chapter, she presents finding comfort in that system as a happy ending.

For her straight, white cast.

And people were surprised when she revealed herself as transphobic.

[bakerolivias-archived]

the originals for the ask thing

favorite character: rebekah, for sure, she's my smol feral murderous sunflower, as i've said in the past haha. hayley comes a close second, as do kol, marcel, davina, and all the mikaelsons tbh, as well as cami (i just love them all so much fuck) least favorite character: ummm.... dahlia i guess lol????? also monique. i know she's just a kid but she's actually really creepy and tried to kill her aunt, hayley, and baby!hope so, yeah, having none of that bye. brOTP: josh and davina, klelijah OTP: omfg i can't choose just one, it goes against my nature haha. klamille, haylijah, klayley sometimes (although klaus def fucked up in s2), marbekah, and freya + happiness (and that keelin girl but i haven't met her yet so we'll see, i already adore them though), also kolvina, HAYBEKAH***** OT3: is it weird to say klaus/elijah/rebekah?? normally i'm not into inc*st but honestly these three can get it on. also all the siblings in tvdu act more like couples than.... well, actual couples. anyways, klaus x caroline x camille have my heart, as well as klaus x hayley x elijah. NOTP: i don't believe i have one?? i guess klaus/genevieve, because even though i like her and i liked when they were fucking she outstayed her welcome as klaus's love interest or fuck buddy or w/e. she's def far more interesting on her own as a villainous anti hero or whatever. besides, she definitely should have been kissing rebekah, they totally give off jilted exes vibes. also maybe davina/tim, because he wasn't a very interesting character (than again TO never really gave him a chance to be since he had like. all of one line). favorite storyline: definitely hayley and finding her wolf pack in the bayou, as well as 1.15 when klaus was chasing rebekah around a cemetery in the pretense of killing her. it's just so reflective of the complex traumatic experiences and toxicity surrounding this fam, and the cycle of violence and love the mikaelsons are trapped in. tbh it's the most sympathetic i felt for klaus and the moment where his character (and the actor) really shined, as well as rebekah and elijah's characters. least favorite storyline: i'd say klaus compelling cami, because while he never had any creepy intentions it's not the best start to a relationship. also whatever nonsense is going on with the Red Door or w/e (although i got a steamy haylijah kiss out of that one, even if it was just a fever dream lol). what I wish had happened but didn’t: klaus and davina friendship?????? unlikely but these two are just hilarious together and more similar than they'd like to admit tbh. i know he murdered tim or whatever but ppl that are "best friends" on tvd (see: bamon) have forgiven each other for worse. also klaus just. apologizing more often, instead of letting his pride get in the way, and letting himself admit to being emotional and talking about his feelings more often. i mean it's hilarious when he goes on murderous rampages with kol when he's sad, but i digress. what happened that I wish hadn’t: klaus physically assaulting hayley, that was an out of character move for him tbh and kind of veering into creepy d*mon territory. there were several other ways TO's narrative could have reached the point of him realizing he wanted to keep his child that didn't have to be that. also gia and aiden dying, it's a huge setback on klaus's progress, not to mention unnecessary deaths of a female character of color (so a white man can be sad about it smh) and bury your gays. i really expected better from TO.

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

[vive-la-revolution]

dear evan hansen movie, an unprofessional review by an unprofessional reviewer

PROS

was totally a simp for alana and zoe. +10 for the hot cast

so big/so small made me cry again, bonus points for that

I LOVE CONNOR OKAY I LOVE HIM

sincerely me was just amazing????? like. i beamed the whole time i loved that so much

“im just trying to make it ✨erotic✨”

thanks for keeping the “kinky” <3 ily mwah

“i hooked up with some brazilian guy” you GO jared

you will be found was so much more moving than it was on stage i almost cried

connor’s song at the end was such a beautiful addition to his character thank you for that

alana’s song got to me

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ALANA MORE OF A CHARACTER THAN “president of everything who also happens to have anxiety though it’s never shown” THANK YOU

whoever played cynthia did an amazing job. props to her

thanks for cutting the glove song i hated that one

LARRY WASNT AN ASSHOLE THANK GOD

evan’s naruto run down the hallway

connor hitting the woah

fuck alana. literally. never before have i felt such anger and desire for a person in my life. I WAS LITERALLY SHAKING WHEN SHE POSTED THE NOTE THAT ACTRESS WAS AMAZING (i don’t remember any of their names lmao)

THE PARTS WE CANT TELL WE CARRY THEM WELL BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THEYRE NOT HEAVY

CONS

maturing is realizing that if i could tell her is actually really creepy and stalker-ish

WHERE DID THE “what are you? an acorn?” LINE GO. THATS THE BEST PART OF JARED’S CHARACTER

good for you got cut and that was one of my favorites </3 it would have added so much to jared’s character besides the “best friend” like give him some development please

i feel like ben was still in “broadway” mode. like bro. you don’t have to be quite that expressive there is literally a camera in your face your facial movements are so distracting

yes i get it was important to the plot. yes i think the countless flashbacks to evan’s suicide attempt were unnecessary.

it’s been said before but having an almost-30-year-old play a 17-year-old wasn’t the best idea the movie industry has ever had. at least kaitlyn looked younger but it just did not work with ben

where was miguel huh (yeah i know he wasn’t in the musical but STILL bi connor ftw)

they should’ve had someone else play evan imo. like they could’ve given him a cameo but i think ben has had enough time in the spotlight and his evan days are coming to a close

maturing is also realizing that evan is the villain

every zoe/evan kiss made me uncomfy. idk why. they just did.

they cut out like all but one of the “fuck”s in the show and it seemed weird to me that that one “fuck” belonged to zoe and connor never said any curse words at all. like i feel like that’s part of his character, idk

anyways, in conclusion, the movie itself was actually pretty good but they could’ve done so much more to make it better. didn’t meet all my expectations but i wasn’t completely disappointed.

[ladyyatexel]

I Went On A Manga Binge

So you don't have to

For those of you who have wisely avoided the shreds of it I've left around the blog thus-far, I had some weird notion to go re-experience Yu-Gi-Oh uuuuuh a week ago? We'll go with that. Time is meaningless.

I'd been able to read a good portion of the early manga at the end of highschool, and somewhere in my stacks and stacks of paper is fanart from this dark time, so you know I cared. I also still own a Dark Magician action figure somehow, so. I'd also watched a large portion of the anime with my brother because it had been laced with some kind of crack and we couldn't look away? I remember when we both were just like shit, wait, don't change the channel, I can't stop looking at it. And the next thing we knew we were waiting for new episodes and I was doing research on the Japanese original because I was that kid.

Anyway, unnecessary backstory out of the way, here are some... let's call them Observations and Consequences of having read somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 chapters (and growing) of a manga primarily hinged on card games from a spectrum of sources ranging from boringly lawful to sketchy as fuck.

Surprise actual character that develops in typical shounen fashion being Jounouchi. My limited experiences with the 4Kids dub and only early manga had not painted him in a particularly good light. I don't know if episodes were being aired out of order or if I had just missed the ones that established that he was making shit up as he was going along, but Wow I liked him a lot more going through the manga than I ever did watching the (dubbed, heavily edited and censored and thrown into a slurry machine) anime. I'd managed to come out with the impression that he was just as reasonably experienced with the game as Yugi back in the day. Wild.

I'm now reading every single comic-style post on Tumblr backwards.

Striking inverse to first point, wow, I don't like Seto Kaiba. Though he gets points for his general philosophy of the future, and the line I read in my sketchy online combo of scans and scanlations in which he said, "If God is in your way, you run him down," was Metal As Fuck. I somewhat shame-facedly admit to enjoying him a lot more as an Abridged Series character. (I watched Abridged as it came out back in the day! The experience of watching the anime with my brother had been so fresh that I got all the in jokes about the way things were edited and dubbed, it was great. Series remains influential part of my life to this day, which is hella weird.)

I almost understand how Duel Monsters works now. I don't want this.

That said, wow a lot of the decisions made in the anime made everything a lot more ridiculous than the admittedly already ridiculous original. I got the distinct feeling in the manga that the Duelist Kingdom stuff we were seeing was designed to be used and exploited in ways that don't make sense in an actual cardgame just played on a table like a normal person and this was part of testing everyone to think higher, differently. Maybe this is obvious to everyone already, I don't know. I had always liked that it was very, 'Not so fast, I'm going to blow up the moon to change the tides,' but I'm not really sure the anime gave enough explanation that this was an extra layer added to things for that event? You can see people actively getting used to it in the books, and people who aren't considering the real or 3D nature of it getting owned, but my memory of anime version is everyone just like, 'oh, shucks, fuck me, I forgot to consider the phase of the moon before i played this card, can't believe I forgot.' No one calls Yugi on any of this stuff because it's valid play in that situation. Plus Yami Yugi had mad trickster energy in the beginning and it suited him to think of ways to do things inside these little simulation boxes the way it suited him to set perverts on fire. I imagine the real card game trying to emulate this element as something that would be to its detriment, but I neither know nor particular care haha

Ryou Bakura.

Really, though. I think he became kind of casualty of 'wow, we have a lot of characters who really aren't able to do anything in this story anymore,' despite the fact that his whole inner life could have been as interesting as Yugi's. I always like thinking about the possibilities of stories in which main character falls into magical world and is given magical item and told they're the hero and then they find out they've been the bad guy the whole time. The first several volumes of manga were about the quiet weirdo kid that no one talked to who was always blacking out and turning into a fucked up version of himsef because he was so attached to his ancient Egyptian jewelry, so like, Bakura could have much the same shit going on. I want to know what's happening with him so much. He clearly doesn't love being possessed, but he's also so drawn to the ring. Despite it having stabbed him at least twice and him knowing it's a danger to him and his friends, he keeps being pulled back into it. You see so much more of him being like, 'Oooh, a creepy thing, I love that! :D' in the manga than ever in the anime, which I'm all about. Also more blood. I'm very about that as well. Though my memory of the anime also made it look very much like normal regular daily Bakura was just a weird facade in places before he ever would have been. I think that was it trying to compensate for what people didn't see from the Toei anime, but okay whatever, that I love everything about this guy is not news, I don't need to talk about Bakura excessively here, I'm pretty sure that's gonna show up on my blog by itself

On a related note though, damn, more of these people need to talk to each other. Can we have some existential crisis support clubs or something. Can we get like some apologies or something? "I respect you as a duelist." "Cool, but you literally built a tower designed to specifically assassinate me and my friends? You were supposed to get Better after I retaliated by putting you in a coma, but you kinda didn't." "Why would the coma have made it better" "I just told you it didn't" ---- "Sorry I went along with the plan of your evil parasite stabbing you, misled you, and then also jumped in and took up some real estate in your head too." "I understand, I also have an evil thing inside me that does things while I'm blacked out." "...no, I was conscious for all of that." "Oh." "..." "..." "..." "Do you like Ouija Boards?" "sure okay" ETC. Like damn we are reading shounen manga because no one is talking extensively about their feelings here and I'm tapping my foot angrily.

Holy shit there are so many mythologies happening at once. The ancient family guarding the Egyptian Pharaoh has a surname that's a Mesopotamian goddess. None of the god cards make any Egyptian sense except Ra, and just like. Baaarrrrely. Somewhere either Evil Ring Bakura or Mar/lik makes a reference to cremation and spirits being taken to heaven with smoke which several things, but definitely not Ancient Egyptian. Marik/Malik meanwhile is clearly trying to head Arabic, along with Rishid, but then, hey, our sister is just Isis. Goddess McGoddess. Sometimes they're the same goddess! Her name could be Isis Isis or Ishtar Ishtar. Meanwhile, all the obviously 'occult because Christians think it is freaky' stuff. ~ancient egyptian pentagrams~~~This isn't a complaint, I guess so much as a 'Wow, I can kind of see the cultural spot the author was coming from and where he was aiming' kind of thing.

Wonder where things would have gone if the card games had not been latched onto the way they were.

Managed to forget how gross the pre-cardgames stuff was on the sexual harassment front. I'm glad there was a sort of explanation of everyone drifting away from being dick heads and that that decision was made. It got way more comfortable to read after no one was bringing Yugi p*rn on VHS.

Yugi looks better with a nose, glad we got that upgrade.

Interesting to watch the series style shift as it goes away from being horror to being over the top cardgames and friendship (with blood!). The first picture of Mokuba is fucking Jarring. Also noticed that the nicer a character is, the less their teeth are defined.

Glad manga did not go as completely off the fucking the rails about Marik's face. I never got as far as seeing him back in the day because college occurred, but I remember seeing pictures and stuff and being like, "what in the Fuck happened to that dude, I think the house style has collapsed in on itself"

Things the author Really Likes: motorcycles, belts, SHOES, holy shit the shoes. These are some of the most lovingly rendered sneakers I've ever seen. All the detail on his characters goes straight to their feet and then it's stretched upward until it forms stiff peaks. Gently fold in 3000 years of trauma and bake face down in a crumb coat of scattered mythology. Remove when you roll two zeros.

Where the fuck am I going to put the extremely large omnibus volumes of this comic I purchased in order to balance out how much I would be reading for free on the internet. I should have grasped that a three in one edition would be Thick and yet somehow I was still :O when it arrived. Have I strategically purchased volumes that contain my favorite parts, maybe, what's it to you will i eventually get the whole thing because incomplete book series gnaw on my soul? yes

Wish the transition from "I've murdered several people in delightfully karmic ways" to "all you need is friendship in your heart and cards in your hand" Yami Yugi/Pharaoh had been discussed more/transitioned better. Buddy, where did you get this approved for television high horse? Please go back to strangling people with yo-yos or at least tell me why you stopped.

I still can't tell anything that looks like a big robotic monster apart from any other big robotic monster. My dude, I can't tell cars apart, all these monsters look the same.

Yami Yugi fascinated me way more in highschool? Maybe because it was still super early and the anime was like 'we need to torture you about his origins WeEkLy. Now I'm just like 'wait hold on, can we go back to Bakura and Marik for a minute, there's some extreme unpacking to do here?' Those two are paying so much more in baggage fees here my guy wow

Violently uninterested in any of the spinoff media