#Especially if the narrator has an accent

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Maid and The Crocodile

standalone YA high fantasy romance, set in the world of Raybearer (10 years later)

a girl ages out of her orphanage and searches for a job as a maid - but before she’s hired, she accidentally gets bound to the Crocodile - a god thought to steal girls through his shrines throughout the cities

she wants nothing to do with him or his curse, and gets herself a job as a Curse Eater at an inn, consuming the spiritual residue of their past mistakes and regrets

but her past and her connection to the Crocodile won’t go away, and she gets caught up in his revolutionary ambitions

disabled MC (vitiligo, cane user)

[wisheswagered]

read the ganji letter leaks... trying to decide how i feel.

[haedalkoo]

Do you have a favorite thing about the way the boys speak as individuals (can be about their general type of speech, words/phrases they use, etc.)? Can be jimin and jungkook or any of bts!

For example, I don't speak korean, but jimin's speech always sounds so soft and comforting. Even when he's not trying to be cute, he still sounds so sweet. Armys joke about kindergarten teacher jimin, but I really do feel like even his voice and speech give that gentle vibe.

This is the cutest thing you could've asked me! Let's go in order:

Namjoon: I love the way he mixes Korean and English so seamlessly. I think he has two modes, Serious-Leader-Speech, very eloquent and straight to the point, carefully chosen words; and Regular Kim Namjoon, still all of those things but super cute, he rambles a lot and mixes languages and tends to use a lot of slang? He def lurks online. But guys, he's also so poetic. He sounds like he's reading a beautiful novel. He always sounds super polite too (when he's calm I guess!! he can get super hyped up lol) but he doesn't slur his words, it's so easy to understand him even though sometimes his vocab is really precise and advanced. OMG AND he doesn't have an accent!! BUT he imitates the members satoori and it's super goofy bc he's not great at it, so it's like his own made-up satoori.

Seokjin: Jin is an amazing speaker. I think the actor training has a lot to do with this, but he has such a good voice for narration and when he speaks in korean interviews he sounds super gentle and eloquent. IDK how to describe it, but he has a v specific tone and pauses in a very unique way, making his tone very melodic and almost like a news anchor hahaha. But when he's talking to the guys he loses that formality and he stresses random words that give him a kind of goofy tone? And he uses a lot of expressions like “야” (yah) or “으아” (euah) as sentence fillers. Again, like Joon, no satoori!

Yoongi: oh he's by far the member I have the most trouble understanding. He slurs his words a lot, starting off somewhat strong but almost losing the entire ending of the sentence. I'm sure you know what I mean even if you don't understand him. A friend once mentioned to me that his pronounciation of the letter ㅆ is not as strong as it should be, tending to sound more like a regular 's' sound like in the letter ㅅ. This is apparently due to his accent! Also, like Joon, to me he tends to sound really poetic, maybe more unconciously than Joon bc I feel like he's really deliberate with his words and Yoongi is more spontaneous. As a sentence filler, he clicks his tongue a lot and sucks in air (something I think JK has also taken from him)

Hoseok: Hobi always brings a smile to my face. I think his accent is the most notable (or maybe I just catch it better than the other's, especially since it's different from the rest of the members' given he's from Jeolla.) His entonation varies a lot, it's very melodic but in an energetic way because of this accent. He also ends sentences with 잉, ing, a lot, which leads to those "said cutely" translations. HE LOOVES onomatopoeias and adding random noises when he's doing things or describing smth. He's just a really fun guy to listen to. I noticed he uses 되게 (dwege) as a filler.

Jimin: you were right, anon. Jimin is incredibly soft-spoken and extremely careful about his words, that's why he tends to mutter or start sentences over and over again to convey the feelings he tries to express. This leads into very long sentences, with a lot of what I call 'pleasing' expressions. This is, Korean (like other Asian languages such as Japanese) is a very indirect language. When you want to express your disagreement with something, you don't straight out say 'I don't like this' or if you're telling someone to do smth differently, you don't say 'be careful next time, don't do that'. You say things like 'in the future, i believe that if you are able to do so it might be benefitial if this issue were handled in a different way' (this is a random example). Your sentences get endless bc you add words and politeness that softens the blow of your different opinion. Jimin does that more than other members who tend to be more blunt, like YG, TH or JK. I think this has changed over the years with the growing international fandom, but he used to sound really informal in his vlives to sound like an old friend with armys. now I think he expresses his outmost respect for us by speaking really formally and in ways that are easy to automatically translate. I also read he has some "feminine" speech patterns, since Kr is a very gendered language in the sense that girls and boys have diff sentence endings or words they use. I think this kinda contributes to how softspoken he is.

Taehyung: Tae's speech is all over the place, but he's extremely sensible and I think he offers the most unique metaphors when he's being sentimental. He's very heartwarming, but sometimes it's hard to understand him because he changes the subject, grammatical order or point of his sentences a lot to adjust to the speed in which things are coming out of his mind. This has gotten better over the years, though. I think age has offered him a sense of calm that allows words to flow better than in the early years of bangtan, where he was an excited puppy. He pauses a lot between sentences, saying "ohh" quite often, and he has a bunch of characteristic filler words like 약간 (yakhan, a bit) or 이제 (ije, now). If you watch the run bts ep where they forbid words for each member, I think ije was one of those for Tae.

Jungkook: guys he's so cute. I'm so grateful that he started doing lives more often, bc I always got the impression he struggled to put his thoughts into words more than other members and that's why he shied away from giving speeches. He still has a lot in his mind, but when he's not in a rush, he pauses a lot and stumbles over his words without shame until he gets the thought out. He speaks really really fast when animated, mumbling and slurring his syllables (that's why it's so hard for me to translate the travel show without proper subs.) We all know he has a lisp, I believe it might be a characteristic of his Busan accent, which is quite present on the regular (in contrast with Jimin, who sometimes forces it out, often around JK. He even joked that he was losing it a little). When he's directing his words to army, he tends to be really soft-spoken and formal, speaking in a way that you know comes from a place in his heart. He also uses a lot of onomatopoeias when describing things, and he adds cute endings to his words just like Hobi (my aegyo kings.)

[ad-astrah]

Finally Watched Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket (Twice) and I Gotta Get My Feelings Out Somewhere, Somehow (Part I)

Feel free to light up my DMs to chat about it!

And now, for my personal highlights/live reactions:

immediately I'm drawn in by Nick Lang's silly narrator voice and the way he warns us of what's coming. Especially the "muRrrDder!"

Jeff Blim cut his hair. JEFF BLIM CUT HIS HAIR. Not that I didn't like the long locks, but something about his Aladdin Era short hair gets me, man.

Jeff Blim literally getting to own the stage like the man was born to

Jeff Blim's slutty bard getup with the artfully messy hair and the heavy guyliner. That sinful bastard.

"Let's go." I'll follow you anyway, slutty bard.

Okay 80s rock jam! Hell yes.

idk why but I just love the line "There are tales in those walls, are they true or are they tall?"

THIS SET, THO. 80s vibes. Muppets vibes. Princess Bride vibes. Spooky, ethereal fairytale vibes. I love it! Props to the team who designed and built it.

prance, slutty bard boy, prance around that stage.

Jesus Fuck, I've only seen Joey's puppet but I'm already SOLD. Nick and Matt Lang and whoever else had a hand in making these puppets fucking OUTDID themselves! Did they use the Black Book and resurrect Jim Henson?

Throughout the show, the muppet vibes just absolutely amaze and delight me. Makes me feel like a little kid, spellbound by this fairytale. Except it's much darker, more gruesome, way more explicit, and extremely horny.

Oh look, it's Joey's Jingle/Jangle (whichever elf he was) voice from Black Friday.

Love me some o' dat non-binary representation from Ragweed. Starkid once again screaming GAY RIGHTS bitches.

I'm getting some of Jeff's Aragog from AVPS in this Narrator. Anyone else?

Stupid STUPID butcher!

Jon Matteson's accent. *giggles madly*

Angela IMMEDIATELY having to pause for applause before she finishes her first freaking line. The queen deserves it all, though.

The foreshadowing of the Stepmother cutting off Ella's feet. O_O

"It's furryyyyy and fouuuuul and full o' maGOTTTSSaaaaaggghhhh!"

Angela doing the little spinny finger thing in a guy's face to fluster them just like Max did to her character in Nerdy Prudes. I love these physical running gags. My fave being the Smoke Club, though.

OIIIINK oinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoink

Sir Preston asking for help from the audience. His "ELLAaaaaa....nooooo....."

The lighting in this entire show is SO COOL.

Again, Jeff just louging like a whore about the set like its his bitch. I live for it.

James' COSTUME. He looks SO FUCKING GOOD. Props to the costume folks...and to James' rockin' genes.

"But nothing compares to the juice and the hairs..." Oh no. Ohhhhh no I see where this is going. Don't say it, James, don't-- omg he said it.

er ee er ee er ee *window rolling down*

I thought the Prince drawing bewbies on the frosty window was funny already, and then he goes WAH WAH WAH and pretends to pinch them and I fucking lost it.

The Prince checkin' out DAT AZZZZZZ XD

"I'd wager she's wetter now than when I first found her bobbing in the river." OH MY GOD. PRINCE. THAT'S HER NOT-MOM.

If his highness has had every STD and beaten it, that's so fucked up but also damn, that boy's immune system is killin' it. Literally.

"Poor mad EllaAH"

"This is one thirsty FUCKING house." For real, omg.

"The offer stands firm. Come calling if you are!" *screams*

Jeff miming being crew and pulling the ropes for the curtains.

*audience member sneezes* "Bless you."

Angela's diction is next fucking level. PUNY. PINK. KIND.

The epic troll reveal! The puppets are SO GOOD.

THE FROG FUCKING TURNING AWAY AS SHE ASKED FOR IT TO DO SO SHE COULD KILL IT. CHRIST.

This bayou boogie song of Ella's is an absolute KILLER BOP. Holy shit. And it's SO perfect for Bryce's funky, sassy voice.

Speaking of which, BRYCE'S VOCALS. I'm gonna scream about them for forever and ever and ever. I love her voice SO FUCKING MUCH. I could listen to nothing else for the rest of my days and die a happy little gay.

"ohhhh woah woah waohhh" *flips the bird* She's such a queen for that.

"It needs oregano" WORK BITCH

Bryce's stage presence is fucking INSANE. I dunno how she's not on Broadway, but thank goodness we got her!

SIRE MANY TADPOLES!

GOD I love this absolutely depraved, horny little bastard of a prince.

It's amazing Tadeus hasn't murdered the prince yet. The man deserves a medal for the literal shit he's put up with.

Bugette?! I thought you choked on shit died and were consumed by the Hive Queen?

Rancilda being a typical troll and loving lurking under bridges and telling riddles.

Schuyler Sister vibes from the song with Justine and Lucy. So cute.

Justine and Lucy are SUCH real ones for IMMEDIATELY believing Ella about her family being trolls and for saying "fuck the ball, we're leaving NOW."

Shake dat ass, Mariah!

Lauren's physical comedy as Rancilda is NEXT LEVEL. I'm wheezing over here!

iSNn'tT it A BiiIItTcH?!

I LOOK GOOD IN THIS. What an absolute fucking BANGER. This song is gonna play in my head on repeat for the next decade. What a next level villain song.

Also this gives me some strongass Joan Jett vibes. "I love wearin' the skin of dead girls rock 'n' roll!"

and I hEEeaARr yoU'Re RiiiCCHhH

Seriously, is this the next Top Chart breakup revenge song? It should be.

"I really LIKE that song!" XD Putrice. I love how much of an absolute BIMBO she is.

Rancilda singing the song again. "SHUT UP STUPID BITCH, THE SONG'S OVER." "Okaaaaiiii"

Matt Dahan's ability to riff off the main songs and create motifs is otherworldly.

General MacNamara? Is that you?! Oh wait, nope. Still my slutty, slutty bard.

I LOOOOOOOVE this badass electric guitar intro, holy shit.

Kim Whalen, the queen, getting the bitchin' entrance she deserves.

Starkid is so, so good at their sound design to help immerse you in a scene without blowing a big budget or doing anything elaborate.

...Kim. My girl. Your arms must be tired.

She's just standing there, but Kim's stage presence is still so strong.

I can't get over how Jon's Sir Hops-A-Lot's voice is just a small...ahem. Hop, skip, and a jump away from Wiggly's.

JOEY. THAT ACCENT. You ABSOLUTE genius idiot. I love you for this stupidass voice.

Joey's bowl cut makes me giggle like mad.

I love these two puppets SO much.

GIT IT, KIM.

The call and response bit with Ella and the Goddess reminds me of Hamilton when Washington is dictating his Farewell Address. I know it's gotta be in other musicals, too, but that's the clearest comparison for this nerd at the moment.

Jeff sneaking in the "castle on a hill" song reference in this song.

Kim and Bryce dueting together is just Power incarnate. Holy cow. It's so good.

"You shall be as radiant and terrible as I." Ooooooh. Yes. Gimme.

The Narrator sneaking out from amidst the ensemble to finish off the song was really neat.

That fading spotlight before curtain for intermission with just Ella's face in view is so beautiful and haunting. What an epic close to Act I.

Also, it seems like this was also a strategic way to imply Ella's outfit being transformed there on stage during the song without actually having to do the tricky costume designing quick-change theater miracles of an ACTUAL outfit transformation. Which is really brilliant. Leave the audience to wonder until post-intermission about what Ella's starlight dress will look like.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Full-Cast Audiobook Imaginations

So with the sequel on the horizon, we’re not that far from a full-cast re-recording of the audiobook, right?

I listen to the audiobook more than I read the book, mostly because I can listen to it while doing other stuff, and no offence to the original narrator, but while it’s good, it’s not the best. I kind of cringe at his British accent for Henry.

So I have a lot of thoughts.

The thing is with an audiobook, we can get both the wonderful vocal performance of the movie cast, and the iconic book lines, the ones that didn’t, and frankly, could never have made it into the movie due to format restrictions:

Sexy explicit sex scenes

Sexy explicit sex lines “For fuck’s sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night”, “I want you to fuck me”, “I’ve been thinking about your mouth on me all well”

Emails in their entirety

Email openings and endings “Huge Raging Heache Prince Henry of Who Cares”, “First Son of Shirking Responsibilities”, “Horrible Revolting Heir”, “First Son of Founding Father Sacrilege”, “Haplessly Romantic Heretic Prince Henry the Utterly Daft”

Email historical quotes “The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you”, “I meet you in every dream”

Swearing and explicit language “fucking shit” “I fucking love you, okay?”

Internal Struggle

Iconic lines that didn’t make it into the movie for adaptation and story purposes “I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you” “I love him on purpose”, “America, he is my choice”

Like, imagine hearing all of this in Taylor, in Nick, in Sarah and Uma and Ellie and Rachel and Thomas and Aneesh and Cfiton etc etc 's voice. Just imagine it!!!

Another thing to add is that to put it in simple terms, the current version of the audiobook does the dialogue lines closer to theatre acting: more enunciated, more inflection, and slower. Which is fine in its own right (I’m a theatre kid). But with the cast audiobook, hopefully, we can get them to do something closer to film acting, i.e. closer to reality, reading the lines as they would if they were to shoot those scenes.

Which is gonna make big moments like sexy times and confrontations a lot of fun :D

And something really entertaining to think about is now that we also know the cast and their dynamic is thinking about how much fun they would have while recording the book, especially when they have scenes together. And it’s not necessarily just Taynick, it’s group scenes with the whole Super Six, like the karaoke scene in chapter seven, or the Texas Holiday Scenes with Firstprince and Junora.

Like, Imagine it, the actors in the same recording studio, maybe even on the same couch:

Taylor and Nick laughing while reading off the insults from the earlier frienemies days of their relationship

Taylor and Nick squirming and playfully hitting each other when recording lines for sexy scenes like the first night, or the tack room, or Wimbledon

The cast shouting and booing (playfully) whenever someone messes up a line in their group scenes

The chaotic fun that is the LA karaoke scene, everybody’s laughing, Ellie gets to be the singular sober person while everyone else acts drunk, Nick singing Don’t Stop Me Now shittier (Nick has the voice of an angel but book Henry can’t sing for shit),

Taylor and Nick giving each other hugs after screaming at each other for the Kensington confrontation

Nick grinning smugly at every book height difference mention (:<

More of Taylor speaking Spanish!!!

Thomas gets to be a proper asshole villain who later turns into awkward older brother who's trying

Ellie gets to do the pie metaphor grief monologue  

Taylor gets to do another speech (he’s really good at delivering speeches)

 I want to quickly reiterate that I am in no way unhappy with what we got in the end for the movie; I love it to pieces. However, as Matthew and Casey said, there are two “canonical” versions of the story now, and since audiobooks are an option, it would be really nice to connect this aspect of the movie verse with the book verse in some sort of middle ground.

So yeah Audible? Amazon? Get on with it!!!

@almightaylor this was the long post I mentioned, I literally started this in July lol

[friendofcars]

the cars in the raven cycle and the dreamer trilogy are metaphors for/extensions of the people who drive them (especially in terms of interpersonal relationships and perceptions)- and so is adam’s bicycle. (*warning for brief mentions of abuse in later paragraphs*). adam gets around henrietta on a bicycle because it’s the only form of transportation he can afford, and we know he’s ashamed of this (his narration describes the bike as “somewhat pathetic”). adam's bicycle is present in pivotal scenes: in one of his chapters, he recalls the first time he talked to gansey, and the visceral fear and embarrassment evoked by seeing his bike next to the exuberant camaro (and the awkward fitting of the bike into the camaro’s trunk)- but also their nearly instant friendship once adam accepts a ride to aglionby after helping gansey repair the camaro.

but when adam talks to blue for the first time (described from blue’s pov), they both have their bikes; adam’s is one of several details that endear him to blue, along with his frayed sweater, quiet demeanor, and accent- all of which let blue know that adam doesn’t fit her assumption that all aglionby boys are affluent and arrogant. she notices that adam’s bike is “dolefully squeaking,” which i’m taking to be an oblique reference to a squeaky wheel, or something/someone neglected/in need of care. and when ronan (wakefully) sees adam for the first time (in a flashback in cdth), adam and his bike are going uphill while gansey and ronan ride in the camaro. he refers to adam simply as “the boy with the bicycle." adam, inclusive of the bike, is immediately attractive to ronan, which is a stark contrast to adam’s perception of his bike (and, thus, himself). adam is ashamed of himself, but blue relates to him, and both she and ronan see him as desirable (with the bicycle present!).

in trb chapter 20, adam is trying to get his bike to stand up in the monmouth parking lot, but the kickstand is broken (emblematic of the familial love and support that he lacks/his abusive parents have destabilized him). he then tries to remove the kickstand without breaking it (adam is trying to extricate himself from henrietta without hurting himself or others in the process/ he’s living tensely and precariously. in tdt, he becomes more likely to snap under stress. ronan recognizes adam’s fragility, of being about to break; adam’s spirit breaking is one of gansey’s worst fears). and even if adam could remove the kickstand, a bike without a kickstand (a boy without a family or friends) cannot balance unless it’s in motion (a miracle of moving parts, maybe)- but perpetual motion is impossible, so adam is destined to crash without external support. in this scene, he could lean the bike against monmouth, but he’s not yet ready to accept help or gifts. a bike can only seat an army of one, unlike gansey and ronan’s cars. with the bike, symbolically, there's no risk of codependency or humiliation, but there’s also inevitable isolation and pathological independence. (thank you alli @whoreshoecrab for helping me organize my thoughts re: the kickstand!)

in the same chapter, adam muses that ronan doesn’t need physics/isn’t held back by the mortal, mundane, material restrictions adam has to work around. adam's not serious (and doesn’t know that ronan actually does defy physics when dreaming), but if ronan can waste his time idly and metaphorically use his privilege to launch his bmw through the sky to the moon, adam must drudgingly bike along the ground; he must manage his time diligently and strategically; he must deal with the physical failures of his bike and the kickstand with human amounts of force. this sets up adam’s core frustration with ronan and ronan’s apparent freedom, but this envy gets deconstructed as he spends more time alone with ronan, particularly in bllb.

there's probably a lot to say about the hondayota (and when adam drives alone vs. when he drives blue and noah to the national park and has his awakening, to which his realizations about connectivity and connectedness are crucial), but i'll skip ahead to cdth when adam has a motorcycle instead of a bicycle. the motorcycle reveals some growth (he’s accepted a gift from ronan, he’s healed to the point where he can choose when to leave and return to virginia, ronan says adam has always wanted a motorbike instead of a car, perhaps [metaphorically] because it’s still an independent way to travel but isn’t reliant on sheer physical labor), but also reveals that his life is still unbalanced and marked by the upkeep of a confident façade (he dumps the motorcycle when he slows down/he still falters when he can’t throw himself into a perpetual state of work). he's still adam, always moving and looking at the roads ahead of him, and he's still struggling to reconcile his past with his present without living inauthentically, but he’s no longer balancing his life alone.

[ashanimus]

Normally I’m a huge fan of people leaving reviews and comments on things. Really I am!

HOWEVER. If you are listening to an audiobook narrated by a feminine voice or has a female main somewhere, I am BEGGING you. If your comment is “omg I loved the main male MC but the female mc is SO ANNOYING” or “great plot but the narrators voice is SO SHRILL AND ANNOYING” honestly? Don’t post that. Please examine your internalized misogyny. I certainly had to when I was younger and I still have spots that come up.

And if you must comment negatively, consider helpful reviews such as: “the narrator mumbles and is hard to understand” or “their attempt at a British accent is not very good” or “the sound quality is horrible and the plosives blow my ears out. This sounds unedited”.

Specificity of experience is what makes reviews valuable. Saying “people with feminine voices are shrill and annoying” just makes you sound like misogynistic chihuahua.

The world has trained us to loathe feminine voices. Don’t let it win, especially not against the marathon runners of VA—or you.

[somedaylazysomeday]

A Special Case

Just some writing I did trying to nail down Soap's character. Lots of backstory, some smut, and the beginning of what will probably spiral into another series. (Damn it)

Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x Private Investigator!reader (gn, no use of 'y/n' or pronouns)

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,300

Warnings: Private investigations, accusations of infidelity, lies about identity, voyeurism, male masturbation, background Ghoap, hints of future Ghoap x reader, author has only watched other people play CoD.

Next | Masterlist

---

Gathering information on Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish was the easiest job you had ever taken. 

As a private investigator, you were used to long hours, exhaustive searches, and tactics that bordered on illegal to get the information you had been paid to retrieve. Everyone left a trail, but some trails were harder to trace than others. 

And then there was MacTavish. 

The only mystery that remained for you was where his nickname had come from. In everything else, the man was a disconcertingly open book. 

It had been several weeks ago that a stunningly beautiful woman had walked into your office. Like most private investigators, you had quickly tired of the film noir jokes or references that many customers made. But something about Marie had made you think in terms of grayscale and overly descriptive narrators. 

Marie Bernard had struck you immediately as a false name, though you gave her credit for trying to keep her alias as French as her accent. She paid in cash, so you didn’t press the issue. 

“I need your help,” she had told you, eyes glistening. “It is my boyfriend, Johnny. I think he is cheating on me. I need you to follow him and take pictures of where he goes.” 

“And who he meets, I assume?” You were taking notes on your phone as Marie spoke. “Especially women?” 

She had waved her hand dismissively. “Women, men, anyone. Johnny is not particular about such things.” 

Your momentary embarrassment about your assumption made you write even faster. When you had finished, you had glanced up at Marie again. “I’ll warn you: my case load is heavy right now. I won’t be able to start working on your case for another week, maybe week and a half. I won’t charge you until I start working on the case, but there will be a wait. I want to be upfront about that.”

Marie had nodded agreeably. “Very well. Will you alert me when you begin?” 

That made your internal alarms ring just as her name had. If she was worried enough about being cheated on that she chose to have him followed, Marie should have given you more pushback about the delay. 

But a customer was a customer, so you agreed to text her when you started following MacTavish. You quoted her your daily rate, warning that expenses were extra, and watched as she counted out the correct number of bills for your advance. 

You also had her sign an agreement to pay the remainder before you would release the full information when you were finished, and she did so without hesitation. You almost changed your mind about the potential false name, but her signature was just a little too neatly written for someone who had been signing it for twenty five years or so. 

You had finished the previous case roughly on time. You had been hired to infiltrate a local business, posing as a new hire in training in an attempt to uncover potential corporate espionage. The moment you had passed that evidence on to the business owners, you had turned your attention to the Bernard/MacTavish case. 

Soap had been easy to tail and even easier to observe. If he had a single set of drapes or blinds, he didn’t use them. If you parked outside of his modest home, you would have been able to observe him clearly without leaving the front seat. 

Of course, you were more professional than that. And smarter, you liked to think. This wouldn’t be the first time a seemingly easy mark turned out to be luring you closer so they could fire off a shot or two. And you dearly hated being shot at, so you parked several blocks away. 

Working your way closer to Soap’s house in your dark hoodie was easy with your phone in your hand. If anyone asked what you were doing there, you had Pokemon Go on standby as an excuse for wandering the neighborhood at night. But, with a little luck, no one would ask. They would either see you and move on or assume you were someone who lived in the neighborhood. 

Your camera and a few lenses were tucked into the slouchy tote bag on your shoulder. The bag was misshapen with age, which actually worked in your favor, since it was much more difficult to tell what might be inside a non-uniform bag. But you rarely needed the camera. A handful of cell phone pictures or a few seconds of video were usually enough to confirm suspicions in a personal case like this one. 

Soap’s life was one of constantly being on the move. He spent a fair amount of time on the military base, just as you had expected for a soldier. But he also met friends, went to a gym, jogged in a park, ate at a new restaurant you had been dying to try. You were exhausted trying to keep up without being spotted. 

And after a full week of observation, you had yet to see Soap with anyone other than Marie herself. (That had been an eyeful you hadn’t asked for, but Marie hadn’t warned you that she was going to visit her boyfriend.) You hadn’t seen her since, and she hadn’t answered the text you had sent earlier that day, but there were good odds that she was avoiding what she thought you would tell her. That happened, sometimes.

You were starting to wonder whether it was time to tell Marie that she had nothing to worry about when you caught sight of Soap walking up to his house. 

The neighborhood was small without being desolate, homey without looking downtrodden, and inexpensive without being cheap. Soap’s house fit right in. It wasn’t overly large - you had looked it up on a real estate website and found that it had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a small garage. Big enough to bring someone over, but small enough to make sure they knew you didn’t want them to stay. 

Apparently, that hadn’t worked on Marie. You wondered if she had assumed that she would eventually share this comfortable house with her boyfriend. She seemed a little upscale for the neighborhood, like she worked somewhere far more sleek and bustling, but you didn’t know her well enough to say for sure. 

Soap walked inside, and you could track his progress by the lights that came on in the house. In the light of the hallway’s light fixture, you could see him smile as he walked into the living room. He seemed to be speaking. You couldn’t read his lips, not from that distance, but the exaggerated motions of his mouth made you think he was calling to someone.

Had Soap finally tripped up? Did he bring someone home only to be caught on your last night on the job? He turned to leave the living room, stripping off his shirt before he left. Your mouth went dry at the sight of his exposed torso. 

The moment he was out of sight, though, you swore to yourself. You had to follow to see what was going on, but there was no way to be a subtle potential neighbor taking an evening stroll when you were crawling through his shrubbery. 

You hopped down from the small half-wall where you had been perched and glanced both ways before crossing the street. Safety-conscious and it let you check whether anyone else was outside. Apparently, the unseasonably cool evening had kept everyone else indoors, because the street was utterly empty. 

You still kept your head on a swivel as you rounded the edge of Soap’s yard, sticking to shadows and whatever cover you could find as you worked your way around to the yard at the back. Fortunately, there was no fence and the house backed up to a small section of forest. You simply chose the tree that seemed least likely to be claimed by woodland creatures and settled against it to disrupt your silhouette. 

The camera did have to come out, though. You were too far away for cell phone pictures, not if you wanted any detail in the photographs. 

You carefully removed your camera from its case - it was the most expensive thing you owned, and you didn’t want to risk dropping it - but your attention was divided. Soap had stepped into his bedroom, turning on a small lamp at his bedside table. 

Even as your hands put the correct lens on the camera, your rapt gaze was trained on the square of golden light shining through the window. To see who else was in the room, of course. 

Soap’s lips were still moving, but the motions looked softer. He was speaking more quietly than he had been in the living room. You still couldn’t figure out what he was saying. It could be because his accent gave the movements a different look, but the truth was that lip-reading had never been your best thing. You promised yourself that you would work on it the future, then you turned your attention back to the task at hand. 

You tried to guess at the design of the room, but it was tricky based on the small amount of it that you could see from your place outside. Was there room for someone to be standing between Soap and the wall? To one side of the large window? You didn’t think so, but maybe there was a space you simply couldn’t see. 

Even so, your certainty began to grow, because Soap smiled and took a few steps forward, unlatching and opening the window. 

You frowned - it wasn’t the coldest night you’d ever experienced, but it was undeniably chilly outside. Winter was approaching quickly and the house had stood empty all day. There was no reason he would need to open a window… unless he was planning on making some heat.

With the window open, there was nothing to block your view of Soap as he stripped off the boxer-briefs he had wearing. He was facing away as they came off, leaving you staring through a lens at a surprisingly rounded ass for a soldier. 

Then he turned and you pushed away the sight of his bobbing erection long enough to snap a few pictures. 

You didn’t enjoy this part of your job. Capturing people in a vulnerable moment was a necessity, not a pleasure for you. And showing Marie these pictures would be something you did to complete a job, not for any other reason. 

Even so, you had to admit that there was something glorious about the way these pictures were turning out. The bottom frame of the window was low enough to show everything from the knees up, and all of it was lovely. 

Soap’s skin was golden in the light of the bedside lamp, throwing shadows over the dips and swells of muscle that made up his body. A thin line of dark hair traced downward from below his belly button, gathering in a thatch around his thick cock before thinning to a light dusting on his muscular thighs.

You shook your head in irritation as you realized you had stopped taking photos. He may have belonged in a damn art gallery, but you were there to do a job. And that job was not lusting after your client’s unfaithful boyfriend, no matter how gorgeous he was. 

“Like what you see, bonnie?” 

Soap’s voice made you jump. You hadn’t realized you would be able to hear him from that distance. It was faint, but if you strained your ears, you could hear his voice. It was confirmed, then: Soap had someone in his room. 

You took another few pictures, zooming in to focus on the way Soap was talking to someone behind the edge of the window. His light eyes were focused raptly on one place, a flirtatious smile curving the corner of his lips. 

If it was Marie again, you were going to be furious. 

Soap’s hand drifted downward, framing his hard length for a second that felt like it lasted a lifetime. Then he grasped himself, fingers wrapping in a loose fist. Your lips parted as you tried to focus hard enough to take pictures and breathe at the same time. 

It was hot as all hell, watching Soap work himself. You snapped pictures mindlessly as you watched him. In reality, you had everything you needed - you wouldn’t get anything else from watching and continuing to take pictures of the same scene over and over. The only thing you needed was a clear picture of Soap with whoever was behind the edge of the window. 

You took pictures anyway, too distracted by the frustrated clenching of your body to worry about the hundred extra photos you would have to delete later. 

At first, Soap’s efforts had looked good, but also seemed unsatisfactory. The way his curled fingers created a frame between the dark thatch of hair at his base and the reddening skin of his length. But it also couldn’t be giving him much in the way of friction. 

But as he kept going, Soap seemed to decide that it was better to sacrifice some aesthetics in exchange for more pleasure. His fingers tightened, head tipping back in response to the increased stimulation. When his thumb teased at the slit at the head of his cock, Soap gave a hoarse groan. And when he spat into his own hand, the next touch made his hips kick so hard that you could see it from where you were standing. 

Your mouth was dry and you realized that your lips had parted so you could take in more air. It was no matter - the instant you thought about taking Soap into your mouth, it watered so hard that you had to swallow before you started to drool outright. 

“Oh, bonnie,” Soap moaned, and you fought not to moan with him. 

It was frustrating that he wasn’t saying a name. That would have been an excellent piece of information to include with whatever photos you ended up taking… but you didn’t mind too much. No, unhealthy as it might be, you were fine with Soap being vague. The pet name let you pretend, for just a moment, that he was talking to you. 

“Ah, so good for me,” he said in a rough murmur that managed to carry across the yard. “Gonna make me come…” 

Your legs were trembling. You leaned more heavily against the tree you were standing beside, because your lust-addled brain was loudly insisting that you could always catch your balance by taking a few steps closer. 

“Oh,” Soap said, the note of surprise in his voice driving you dangerously close to actually stepping forward. “I’m… Bonnie, you-” 

And then he came. You were infinitely grateful that you had managed to keep the camera halfway aimed toward the window, because you wanted a way to remember that sight for the rest of your life. 

Soap’s back arched slightly, as if he were trying to push his cock more firmly into his own hand. Cum trickled over his fist in rhythmic pulses that seemed to last forever and you just managed hear the soft gasps that fell from his parted lips. Soap was silhouetted against the backlight of the lamp at his bedside table, but you could still make out the bliss of his expression, eyes closed under brows that had furrowed slightly. 

When Soap finally released himself and started to clean up, you were left with the unpleasant realization of how strongly that had affected you. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and not because there was a chance of being caught. Your breathing was ragged, and you could feel the damp cling of your panties every time you shifted your weight. 

Yeah, you needed to get laid. 

Before you could ponder your options too deeply, Soap finished cleaning the last of the cum from his fingers and - still sans a single stitch of clothing - leaned forward on the windowframe. With a pensive expression, he looked out into the night. 

“Was that as good for you as it was for me?” 

He still wasn’t using a name. For a final moment, you let yourself imagine that he was talking to you instead of whoever was standing patiently beside him at the window. 

Your fingers flexed on your camera, adjusting to frame the window more precisely. You needed to get this shot and get out while you still had some dregs of your sanity remaining. Just as soon as Soap’s lover stepped forward enough for you to get a picture…

Then he looked at the treeline, light eyes sharp as they scanned over the darkened forest. You held your breath as he looked directly at you for a moment, but his eyes tracked further before one corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk. 

“Not very nice,” he said, a little louder. “A show like that deserves a round of applause.” 

You froze. 

“And if you’re worried about ‘Marie’, don’t be.” Soap shook his head, ruffling his mohawk with a charming smile. “She was a spy, trying to gather intel about a highly-classified team. She’s in our custody. You won’t be seeing her around your office again.” 

Even if you had been stupid enough to willingly reveal yourself, you couldn’t have moved with the shock of that revelation. Marie wasn’t a spy… even if that would explain several things. Like why you couldn’t turn up any relatives or friends. Or why you couldn’t find any of her prior addresses from longer ago than six months. And why you had seen her with Soap the week before. 

Shit, she hadn’t been answering your texts or calls, either. 

As if he could hear your frantic train of thought, Soap smirked again, standing upright behind the window. It framed his bare form perfectly and you forced your thoughts back into some semblance of focus. “Alright, I won’t force you to talk if you’re feelin’ shy. See you later, bonnie.”

You watched as Soap disappeared into the bathroom, then settled into bed. After his light switched off, you gave it a full half-hour before you ran back to your car in a half-crouch that left your thighs screaming. When you had turned on your car and were safely out of the neighborhood, you allowed yourself one loud swear. 

You weren’t getting paid for this, you could feel it. 

—

“Morning,” Soap greeted, walking into the room where the 141st did most of their planning. Ghost nodded back, the first to spot any new arrivals. As always. 

“You talk to that PI yet?” Price asked, cutting through Gaz’s friendly greeting. 

“Of course, Captain,” Soap assured him. “We had a meeting last night.” 

“You went to the office?” Gaz asked, sounding more than a little surprised. “I just found the address this morning.” 

“Did you?” Soap asked, plucking the paper from Gaz’s hand as Price watched him suspiciously. “I managed to track it down myself.” 

“Tell me next time,” Gaz complained, snatching the paper back. “Would have saved me an hour of overtime.” 

Gaz crumpled up the paper and chucked it half-heartedly at the bin. It bounced off one side, settling forgotten on the floor. Soap met Ghost’s eye for a long moment, offering a smile, a wink, and a nod. The masked man reached down to silently retrieve the paper and tuck it into a pocket. 

Soap grinned approvingly and turned his attention toward whatever new mission Price had found for them.

---

Author's Note - Like I said at the top, this was supposed to be a one-shot for writing practice. But I am being plagued 27/4 by visions of this turning into a Ghoap x reader fic and I'm not sure how long I can hold that off.

Anyway, I'm already working on a second chapter, featuring Ghost. I'll link it to this chapter when it's done!

Now, about Soap's accent: someone made a poll on here about whether people prefer to read stories where accents are written out or not, and 'not' won by a large margin. I'm ambivalent myself, but I thought I would try writing Soap without the accent, though I'll still try to incorporate Scottish speech patterns and slang as they come up. Let me know if you have any strong opinions either way!

Thank you for reading!

[ruexsdrty]

Petty Thievery

Pairing: The Ghoul x Reader

Note: Mentions of the game Fallout 4 setting/gameplay because duh I played it too fucking much.

Gloved fingers gripped at the slicky thin bobby pin, twisting and turning gently just in the await of that sweet click. The wind was strong tonight but her overhanging hood saved her eyes from the unforgiving—and probably radioactive—sand. It was ironic that a radaway bag hanged on the inner side of her coat while she donned a gruesome ghoul mask on her face like second skin.

She had found it hanging alone on a wall shack in the corner of an empty costume house when she was seeking cover from the blazing raiders and mutants outside. There were a few of them until she had shot one with her .308 pipe revolver, awaiting a horde of sick grunts and snarls only to be met by silence. That was when she realised that it was no feral, just a harmless mask. Those were probably zombie masks but, well, there was nothing she couldn't fake.

‘Well, I had this idea...’ she narrates, her eyes catching the glimpse of a distant man coming towards her again through the sides of her vision. She wasn't mistaken, that silhouette was distinctively clear in her head. Only one man she knew held himself with grace and sickening danger altogether. The cowboy hat, the overhanging coat... ‘And when I thought I could handle lying about being a ghoul with wastelanders and other ghouls alike, I wasn't fucking counting him.’

Her fingers trembled as yet another bobby pin snapped, spitting curses under her breath that would make a sailor blush. She heard the familiar reload click of a shotgun a few feet away.

“Tell me why I shouldn't just shoot you right now, sweetheart.”

Oh, yeah, that voice. She knew it, was familiar with it. She has had one too many run-ins with him whenever she played the role of a runaway vaultie, and she could recall none of them to be pleasant. She just hoped he won't recognize her voice.

The flickering neon board hung overhead, a few lights hanging off its hinges, it read, ‘Pharmacy’.

“Nothin' wrong with a woman trying to survive,” She grumbled with an intentioned rasp in her voice, deepening it. ‘We practised this,’ she told herself to take deep breaths, ‘Just don't overdo it.’

“Well, darlin',” His southern accent was strong, dripping off each syllable, “Ain't nothin' wrong with a man wanting it all to 'imself, eh?” The barrel of the shotgun dug into the sides of her forehead through her hood. Ofcourse he'd want the whole store. Who wouldn't?

She sucked in a deep, slow breath, quiet and shaky. “That's not nice.” At a loss of words, that was all that she could've come up. She wasn't particularly proud of it, especially when even he couldn't bite back a short laugh.

After a long pause of silence, she huffed, “If you kill me, you can't get it. The lock's pretty tight!”

“Yeah?” He drawled, she peeked through the edge of her hood to catch a glimpse of his uninterested eyes. “And what gives I don't just break the damned glass?”

Again, a silence befell them. “I'm fucked then.” She had stopped fumbling with the lock now, looking at him with distrusting eyes while the wind furled gently against her hood. His fingers repositioned around the trigger.

A guttural growl filled the air as heavy steps shook on the ground they stood on. Their gazes widened at each other. He hit the barrel on her head lightly to accentuate the tension, “Get to it,” he barked.

She returned to pick the lock, the nearing footsteps of the wasteland creature and the edge of the gun digging on her head pushing her hands to shake more. With an irritated groan he knocked the glass with his elbow before opening the lock from the inside. With heavy breathes they rushed inside and pushed the door close.

He turned to her with an exasperated frown. She huffed, a hand to her chest to contain her beating afraid heart. “Don't blame me for having performance anxiety!” He looked at her incredulously like she was crazy.

It was dark, her feet hitting some clutter or the other as she creeped closer to the wall for safety. She stumbled behind the counter and slid down the wall, sitting on the floor as she stared out the glasses in fear. The sudden ticking of radroaches' mantis caught her off-guard and she let out a yelp, fingers curling around the revolver in her holster and shooting the creature before it could close in on her. Silence befell and she collected her breath with a heaving chest. Her legs sprawled in front of her, back hitting the wall in exhaustion but her fingers stayed tightly clutched on her revolver.

The Ghoul clicked his tongue, “You don't sound much like a ghoul.” Was that a joke? A threat? An accusation or just an observation? Whatever it may be, she knew she didn't way to stay around him much longer than necessary.

The fucking Deathclaw outside was an absolute epitome of her bad luck.

Heavy footsteps neared her. It was The Ghoul this time. For some reason, she thought it'd be easier to take down a Deathclaw than this man. “Gun,” he demanded with an outstretched palm in front of her face. She glanced at it once.

“And why should I?”

His foot striked down her wrist, the gun falling out of her grasp to the floor. He stood over her, kicking the gun to the corner and out of reach. His boot planted on either side of her legs. There wasn't much she could to save herself in this situation... or, well, position.

“Smooth skin, soft voice...” He observed, “When did ya' start turning?”

She hasn't done her research. “Seven.” But she figured seven years might hit the sweet spot.

He hummed and leaned downwards, the barrel nudging against her shoulder. ‘Don't panic,’ she met his gaze. He tilted his head down at her, sighing heavily in thought. He laughed short, fingers tightening around the trigger. Gunshots don't kill ghoul, at least not until their brains paint the floor.

"Well, sweetie,” he drawled, his voice deep and ruthless, “Let's see how much of a liar you are, huh?”

Deafening gunshot filled the small store.

[synonomy]

As a David Thewlis enthusiast, what movies of his would you recommend?

That depends if you’re watching for the plot or just simp fodder tbh

Naked (1993) is number one for David simp fodder since it lives up to its name/you get to see him doing sexy things, but its a tradeoff since his character is fucking insufferable and the film is a weird, unpleasant slog, so any time he isn’t naked or being sexy will be 💀💀💀

Resurrected (1989) is pleasing because it features a babyfaced and very Remus-esque David, but the plot is kinda meh and depressing/upsetting, especially near the end

Vroom (1988) also has some very young and pretty David (with bright orange hair!!!) but the film itself is kinda boring since he’s not the main, so you have to put up with some shitty Clive Owen lovestory

Total Eclipse (1995) is worth a watch because even though David has the most atrocious hairstyle possible you get to see him being topped by a twink Leo DiCaprio 👌 I mean, they have the most toxic relationship you’ve ever seen, but it’s gay so

Gangster No. 1 (2000) features the most Daddy of Davids as a slick suit-wearing London gangster, but the plot is kinda trash and you have to endure Malcom McDowell’s godawful narration throughout the whole thing. Ironically, the narration mostly revolves around him simping for David, which, while relatable, doesn’t make it any less irritating

Veronika Decides to Die (2009) also has a Daddy-style (also very Remus-esque) David as a smart and bespectacled psychiatrist. The plot isn’t absolutely terrible from what I remember, but he’s not in it a great deal, so

If you care more about the film itself, or are looking for a good balance between plot and simp:

Divorcing Jack (1998) is my favourite David flick by far. Not only is it the best he’s ever looked, he has an Irish accent(!!!), his character is adorable and the film is hilarious. There’s also bonus Jason Isaacs (Lucius Malfoy). Highly recommend ��

Seven Years in Tibet (1997) is also pretty good. David has an Austrian accent (can’t comment on its quality) and looks cute with a lil Remus moustache. My main takeaway from the plot is that David has superior rizz to Brad Pitt (unsurprising) but I remember being entertained

The Lady (2011) is also one of my faves. It’s based on a true story about a Burmese diplomat, in which David plays the most supportive and wholesome husband ever to Michelle Yeoh (whom I also love) 🥰

I’m Thinking of Ending Things (2020) is great, though again David’s not in it all that much

I also really love Life is Sweet (1991) despite him only being in it for about 5 minutes

Honestly though, most of his really great performances have been in television rather than film.

[wombywoo]

Basics :

5. (been wondering about this 👀)

Movements :

10. idle stance?

11. how do they move in public?

12. what are their common gestures or physical tics?

15. are they coordinated?

16. how flexible are they?

(is this too much? I apologize 😞)

thank youuu <3 don't worry, it's not too much 😘

5. what is their voice like?

Quinn's voice is suuuuper raspy. In fact, it's quite weak most of the time and he often sounds like he struggles to catch his breath (product of throat injury 💀) It can get pretty dry and harsh, while not overly deep, and sometimes he loses it altogether if he's sick or has been speaking at length. His regional accent comes through a lot, even when he'd prefer it didn't. Lots of elongated vowels, dropping H's. In certain professional settings, he tries to speak with more of a received pronunciation, but he thinks it makes him sound like a posh twat (derogatory). He's got a quiet voice, and it's rare that he ever raises it to a shout.

Vincent has a smooth, deep voice, strong and well-spoken. It's very pleasant to hear him speak, and people have often remarked he should narrate audiobooks, lol. He's retained some of his old-fashioned upbringing with certain pronunciation and vocabulary. There's an essence of London while not straying into Cockney territory. Due to growing up with his mother, he does have a small hint of a Jamaican accent at times; a slight lyrical lilt that he accentuates only when he's feeling comfortable and happy. By Quinn's standards though, he still sounds like a posh twat (affectionate) <3

10 has already been answered~

11. how do they move in public?

I've mentioned that Quinn keeps himself guarded most of the time. In public, he tends to stay on the outskirts, never one to draw attention to himself. If he's walking through a crowd, he'll try to appear smaller, quickly making his way while trying to avoid contact with anyone.

Vincent carries himself quite proudly, and while in a public setting will try to remain casual and respectful. He's not a bit fan of crowds, but he's got a knack for reading the responses of others, so he's very good at knowing when to accommodate someone, step to the side, offer a smile, etc.

12. what are their common gestures or physical tics?

Quinn tends to furrow his brow a lot, even if he's not actively angry. He bites his lip when he's thinking, as well as scratching at his jaw and hair. When he's talking and trying to remember something, he'll do that snappy finger gesture with his hands. If he needs to address someone, he'll often tilt his head to signify he wants to talk. For tics, he fiddles with his ears or fingers. When feeling anxious, he'll unconsciously start clawing his nails into his thighs (I do this).

Vincent is pretty expressive with his gestures, moving his hands and arms around while he's speaking to emphasize a point. He moves around the room a lot too, especially if he's arguing. There are some subtle expressions in his face that he can't hide, a raise of his brows or roll of his eyes. If he's nervous, he might start clenching his jaw, making his cheekbones even sharper. If bored, he tends to roll the tip of his tongue back and forth over one of his fangs.

15. are they coordinated?

Quinn--not so much. In a casual setting, he's a bit of a clutz and is prone to banging his hip/leg/arm onto objects in his vicinity. When on active duty, he's definitely more focused on being coordinated, but can still fumble on occasion and "forget" to practice safety measures.

Vincent's quite coordinated, no complaints there. His vampire abilities ensure he's fairly stacked in all physical areas, so he can perform complex maneuvers with ease.

16. how flexible are they?

They're both preeeetty flexible 😏

Quinn's got a decent amount of agility and bendy-ness, lol. Vincent also possesses unnatural amounts of flexibility, so yeah...they appreciate that aspect 🤭

[mercurygray]

HI'd love to know more about Cord and her friend Laura!

So maybe for the nosebleedclub June prompts, #19 formative & #20 theatrics?

Ema, I am so sorry - this prompt is from June, so I hope it lives up to expectations. In addition to more Laura, you also get a special bonus - Portia, who I don't think has actually appeared in a fic yet!

It was agreed that old stories were the best ones. Especially when those old stories were new to the people now hearing them - and Laura Simpson, it had to be said, had some absolute corkers. "And then she says - serious as anything - "I'm so sorry, officer, I didn't see there was a sign!" "I really didn't see the sign," Cord supplied, while everyone else laughed along with Laura. "What else was I supposed to say?" "Of course she didn't see the sign, she was going nearly ninety. Anyway, she's the only one of us who could have gotten away with it," Portia drawled, grinning over her cocktail glass and companionably stroking Cord's cheek. She was currently draped over Everett Blakely's arm enjoying her Bijou, a drink that she'd had to narrate to the bartender after having spent the better part of the evening dancing wildly with everyone who'd have a go. (Cord was half-afraid she'd get behind the bar herself, but Portia, it seemed, was not in that sort of a hurry this evening.) "She's got a face that men believe."

"I do not," Cord replied in a huff, but it was apparent she would not be heard. "You do so," Portia shot back, fondness in every word. "If it had been any of us driving he wouldn't have even stopped to ask. You have a certain …air de l'ingenue." "I'll try to take that as a compliment," Cord shot back, knowing perfectly well what the French implied. Portia, for her part, only grinned, and went back to her chartreuse and vermouth with relish. "So what other …formative theatrics can you share regarding our esteemed flight officer, Miss DeNemours?" Blakely asked, clearly with an eye out for the main chance where teasing was concerned. But Portia was an old hand at this, and she'd been managing men like Blakely since she'd been old enough to walk. "Oh, I'm afraid if you want another story you'll need to bribe me for it first, Lieutenant. I require another dance, and a very brisk one." No one needed to tell him twice - Ev trotted over to have a word with the bandleader and after a fair bit of paper-flipping they started up again in brassy double-time, John Brady wailing away on his trumpet like he was being paid for it. It had been one hell of an afternoon. The day's mission had gone as well as it could have, only one fort damaged, with casualties within acceptable bounds, and then the replacement planes had arrived from Framlingham, accompanied, today, by old friends - Laura Simpson, who was known to Thorpe Abbotts, and Portia DeNemours, who was not, but who had started her acquaintance with the base by dropping down from her plane with her hat cocked just so and her jacket as rakish as can be and shouting, in her cut glass Mid-Atlantic accent, "Where's Cordelia Callaway? She owes me a whiskey and an explanation." The whiskey was easy, the explanation less so - Cord was fetched from the tower to the officers club for hugs and kisses and threats of violence if Portia did not immediately meet everyone Laura had told her about, up to and including this Egan fellow, whom she was told (cruel thought) her old friend was now dating. So now they were in the officer's club, the band going on full blast and the party very much in full swing. Portia had gotten her whiskey and her meeting with Bucky (and a dance, too, because Portia never did things by halves) and had moved on to meeting everyone else she'd heard about from Laura, and share stories from their misspent youth as pilots in the air races.

"You're being awfully quiet this evening, Major Egan," Cord said, making her way to the chairs at the side of the room. Bucky was, for once in his life, only watching the festivities instead of being smack dab in the middle of them. He moved his hand and let her sit down on his lap, the better to both talk to him and continue to watch the dancing.

"I thought you liked me quiet," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and looking up at her with fondness in his eyes.

"Not when it feels like you're up to something," she said, accusing. "You're suspiciously quiet."

Bucky gave a brief smile, obviously caught. "I was just thinking about what it might have been like if I'd met you then - the Cord that they know. The one flooring fast cars to ninety. Might have taken me a little less time to get a date." "A hotshot military pilot from Kearney and a powderpuff winner with a speed record?" He shrugged. "Well, I hadn't joined the army in thirty nine, so I wasn't a hotshot pilot just yet." Bucky in civies was hard to summon. "I'm having a hard time picturing that." He scoffed. "I'll bet you saw dozens of me. Tall city kid in a rumpled suit who'd spent his whole life dreaming of something different and saved all month to go to the air races, asking you to sign his program and wishing he could ask you more."

She could see that boy he was describing easily enough, all smiles and shirtsleeves and a battered hat, but that boy wasn't ever holding out a program and a pen. "No one asked us to sign programs. That was for the boys. They always just asked us for …more." Bucky's face turned stormy, but he said nothing. Cord suddenly felt the closeness of his body and swallowed nervously. "Everyone thinks a girl with a fast plane is …fast with everything. That's why we all got close - Laura and Portia and the others. We were competitors but no one else had our backs. You learn who you can trust pretty quickly like that. So they…they did get a different Cordelia." John's hands tightened around her waist, her leg, heavy and warm through the fabric of her uniform trousers. "And anyway, you wouldn't have looked twice at me," she added, looking at the dancers out on the floor and trying to lighten the mood. "Portia would have pulled you to dance just like she did today and you wouldn't have thought about anyone else."

"Portia's not really my type," he assured her, and then leaned in close, ready with a secret. "And I don't think I'm hers, either, unless I'm reading her glances at Tatty wrong." Cord felt herself tense, the familiar protective urge rising in her throat. Portia was always the fearless one, the ringleader of the whole circus of young women and they were all fine until they were not fine, and someone saw something they shouldn't. Escape was easy for her - the gossip never seemed to stick to her gossamer wings and even when it did there was always that mansion along the Brandywine for her to retreat to until someone found a juicier bone to flaunt. Cord always felt more earthbound next to Portia - she'd forgotten that until tonight, watching her dance effortlessly with half of the squadron and laugh and drink with the other half. "She complimented me on my good taste, when we were dancing," he shared, pulling her just the tiniest bit closer.

"Did she?"

Bucky nodded. "Flat out told me she didn't trust fliers, too. She warmed a little, when I said you'd hated me first." He paused. "They're good friends, Cord. You're lucky to have them."

There was something…wistful, in the way he said it, a kind of longing, and she wondered for a moment what for. In the middle of everything but somehow also alone. Friendly with everyone - but really only friends with Buck. Buck, whom he'd met in flight school. What had he been like before that - that tall city kid dreaming of flight in a city that only built ships? She leaned over and lightly kissed his head. "If we keep this up, they'll be your friends, too."

[mattzerella-sticks]

My Idea for a Live-Action X-Men Movie...

Thinking... how can we introduce the X-Men into live action, whether through movie, tv show, limited series, etc. ... and I have an idea.

Let's start in media res.

Charles Xavier's School for the Gifted has been active for the past few years, however with a small class size of seven. Scott. Jean. Bobby. Hank. Warren. Alex. Lorna. Despite only consisting of seven students, due to Xavier's wealth he has been able to keep his school open and thriving since the beginning.

However that has changed as the size of his class has dropped from seven to one after a botched mission led to the capture of his students save one, Scott Summers.

And the opening scene is Xavier sitting in his mansion, worried, waiting, until Scott kicks his door down, tells them his team is gone, and passes out due to exhaustion.

We then pick up on our narrator for the movie, the character whose eyes we will be seeing the entire movie take place through, stepping off a plane and into JFK airport...

Ororo Munroe. Storm.

She had travelled from her home in Africa seemingly on a whim, as if drawn there by fate, and - unsure where to go or what to do next - she goes to a nearby bar to make her next plan.

Who should happen to sit next to her but a short, hairy man in a cowboy hat and a thick, Canadian accent?

Ororo, meet Logan. They do not hit it off.

She does happen to hit it off with the soft spoken Russian man who is reading poetry at the other end of the bar - Piotr Rasputin - and the bartender, a Native American man - James Proudstar - who wasn't supposed to be working that day but traded shifts with his roommate.

While they are all gathered there they hear a voice in their heads and turn around to see Charles Xavier, a man they all recognize and all soon realize is the reason they are now gathered together in this bar. At first they all want to leave but Xavier implores them to at least first hear him out, which they agree to do, but he tells them he won't start until the final member of their group is here.

Cue shouts and gunfire as Kurt - Nightcrawler - runs, leaps, and teleports across the airport in all his blueness.

Xavier manages to calm the crowd however not before one of the security guards manages to call in that the threat is a mutant and it's a race to grab Kurt before reinformcements arrive. But wouldn't you know it the group is not the best team yet and the reinforcements do arrive in the form of Sentinels.

It seems like all hope is lost when, out of nowhere, a stray quartz-colored beam blows one of the Sentinels apart and allows the group a moment to escape. They regroup in Xavier's car, which had been where Scott was waiting while Xavier gathered the others.

They return to the mansion where Xavier explains what happens to his team, that they were responding to a mutant in distress on an island that had ultimately been a trap - with only Scott escaping. The group has been gathered together to help Xavier and Scott rescue their teammates.

It's mostly a resounding no. Piotr would rather be at home on the farm. James has to go searching for a new job since he undoubtedly got fired from the bar for leaving during shift hours. Logan is "not a team player" and believes that the team is most likely dead anyway. Kurt is game but he is also "not the best fighter".

Ororo also agrees to help.

That surprises everyone. She says that while the circumstances that brought them together were underhanded, she cannot sit idly by while innocent people, people like her with a mutant gene, are in danger. Not just those on the island, who they are tasked with rescuing, but around the world especially since Sentinels have become standard issue around the world. While she does not see herself being a full-time member, she knows that the team Xavier had protected mutants like them from these threats and, with them gone, who will protect their community now?

Xavier tells them that, after they help rescue his original team, they would be free to leave and do what they want with their lives as they please.

Piotr is in. So is James. Logan sighs and agrees, "Since I don't want to be the odd one out." They agree to go save the others. Scott says, however, that before they can mount the rescue mission, they need to become a team first - referencing their battle at the airport and how they need to improve.

They agree to train.

Meanwhile, on the island, we see that there is a Master Mold along with Trask and scientists working on creating the next model of Sentinels in their ongoing war against mutants using the captured mutants from Xavier's Academy as test subjects. The scientists are just as much as prisoners as the X-Men, however, as they were led to the island on false pretenses and forced to work for Master Mold who had, unbenknownst to everyone until the final act, had taken over Trask and controls him as a puppet.

A few of these scientists came with their families. One of these families were the Prydes. Katherine Anne Pryde is seen as a non-threat by both Master Mold and Trask, and is able to freely wander the island as well as speak with the prisoners because, since everything is monitored and she is twelve, she cannot do anything to disrupt the mission. We learn from this scene that Master Mold is on the cusp of unveiling a new breed of Sentinel that, using the schematics pulled from Jean's mind, would be able to track mutants anywhere without needing to be called in. It was luck that the X-Men arrived on their island, fell into their trap.

Meanwhile back in Westchester, NY, this new team of X-Men are having a hard time at coming together to work as a team, which is making Scott mad. He and Logan almost come to blows if not for Piotr stepping between them to break things up. They both step away to cool off.

Ororo decides to speak with both of them. First, she goes to Scott, and tells him that he is not being a good leader. They have a heart to heart where he confesses that his friends are his family, and Jean... he has a lot riding on this being a success, and this is as new to him as it is new to them. He is not used to working with people he hasn't grown up with. Ororo tells him that he needs to lead from a place of love and courage, and not fear. Then, she goes to find Logan to see that he is brushing off Kurt rather coldly and Ororo does not wait to take him to task on his loner attitude. They clash a bit before Ororo tells him to get his act together or just leave, as it shouldn't matter to him what they think if he really doesn't care.

They all agree to do another training session, only they never get the chance as Xavier tells them it is now or never as there was a spike of pain from the same island his first team was lost, and that cannot mean anything good. The heroes go to get suited up and fly to the island base.

Master Mold is ready to create his new breed of Sentinels and it looks like they are a success, as they have been fitted with new upgrades. He activates a few and they immediately power online with the alert that there is a mutant among them.

All eyes turn to Katherine Anne Pryde. Kitty.

Her father and mother object but are restrained as the Sentinels begin to pursue her, only able to tell her to run before they are knocked out. Kitty runs and manages to escape the Sentinels after discovering her ability to phase through solid matter. The escape is not fullproof as they burst out the bunker in full pursuit. When she reaches the beaches with what looks like no place left to go, the clouds part and reveal the Blackbird jet which Ororo had just exited from and is now flying down to confront the Sentinels she spotted chasing the little girl. The Sentinels sense her power and lock onto her, only to get blasted by lightning and turret fire.

The X-Men land and confront the Sentinels but, unlike at JFK, they are able to work together and take them down. Even Logan finds himself being a team player. They rescue Kitty and she tells them where the prisoners are and also what Master Mold is planning.

The team decides to split up - Scott, Piotr, and James will confront Master Mold while Ororo, Logan, and Kurt follow Kitty to the prison area.

Of course we stay with Ororo because, again, she is who we are relying to guide us through this story.

We get to the prison area and it's Ororo, Logan, and Kurt going HAM on these guards taking them down while Kitty uses her powers to free the X-Men. She manages to get to the main control room and hits the button that releases all the prisoners who do their best to help, despite being weakened from experiments and torture.

We learn from Kitty that there's a prisoner missing, and they admit that it's Jean. She was taken by Trask.

So the group races to the main room where Scott, Piotr, and James are and see a BUNCH of Sentinels on the loose and pure pandemonium. Piotr and James are on the ropes and Scott is putting up his best fight, however just as the group arrives the Sentinels converge and blast him, with a woman across the room watching calling out his name as he 'perishes' (we'll circle back on this later).

Without their leader and shocked, Ororo steps up and takes command, leading the group into battle like she's been doing it all her life against the Sentinels while Kitty and Kurt evacuate the scientists. She cuts across the room almost instantly to get to Trask and Jean where we finally learn that the former has been completely taken over by Master Mold and is now a Sentinel cyborg. They battle it out but it's a tough battle given the numbers they're against until there's a moment where Ororo and Jean are tucked away, shielded from incoming blaster fire from Trask and the Sentinels, when Jean places her hands to the ground and closes her eyes. Ororo asks what she's doing and Jean tells her she's asking for help.

"From who? Xavier only sent us?"

"From the mutant we came here to help in the first place. From the island."

BOOM! We get the reveal that the island. Krakoa, is a mutant and has been weakened by the experiments run on it by Master Mold and the Sentinel. Jean tells the group that they need to let Krakoa 'feed' on a piece of their energy to recupe its strength for it to help them and they all look to Ororo as it's her call, and she says they should do it. They do and the ground rumbles and shakes and we can see the island begin to terraform as it fights back against Master Mold and the Sentinels. It takes out MANY of them while the X-Men pick up the slack on the rest.

Ororo takes on Master Mold/Trask hybrid as the island begins to sink back into the ocean, with Trask, damaged, spouting nonsense. That he is there to save the world, that he is the FUTURE, the INEVITABLE, that the X-Men cannot prevent the world falling apart in the future, that they will be responsible for the apocalypse. However, with a lightning zap and some timely telekinesis, the group escapes back to the Blackbird as the rest of the island has already been evacuated.

The X-Men return to Westchester without Scott and inform Xavier of what happened.

Time moves on. They recover. They mourn. A memorial service is held for Scott. Xavier's original students, Warren, Bobby, Alex, Hank, and Lorna, decide to leave the school afterwards as they believe they need to come at the Sentinel problem another way. They form X-Force.

Xavier comes up to Ororo after the service and asks her to stay on, despite her having no obligation to do so. She watches Logan and Kurt keeping Kitty entertained while Piotr and James speak with her parents, about Kitty staying on at the school and learning from Professor Xavier, and decides that she would like to stay and lead the X-Men. Jean joins them and says that she'd be happy to be on any team Storm is leading, revealing that -of the original students - she is the only one who is staying with the X-Men. The three look out onto the horizon as there are endless possibilities for the X-Men now *play the theme song*

END CREDIT SCENE NUMBER ONE - Magneto watches Xavier's new team of X-Men in action and converses with Mystique, saying that, "If Charles has put together a new team of recruits, we should, too."

END CREDIT SCENE NUMBER TWO - A blonde woman in all white speaks with a raven-haird men with red eyes and a crimson diamond embedded in his head. "You pulled a lot of favors to get him, are you sure he's worth it?" "Believe me. He is." The duo, Emma Frost and Dr. Sinister are looking over the body of Scott Summers, very much NOT DEAD, held in stasis as the camera pans out and reveals the Hellfire Club.

And that would be how we introduce the X-Men, and mutants, into live action movies.

[the-pirate-captain]

One of my all time favorite top musicals of all time is Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber). The play follows the "plot points" of the Bible pretty closely; really the only thing left out (of Joseph's story) was the elaborate back-and-forth of his brothers getting Benjamin from Canaan (they all went to Egypt in the first place). The music is so fun and catchy, and just an all around good time. My favorite parts include:

Joseph is such a snob. He is so spoiled. "Hey guys I had this dream where my perfect and beautiful sheaf of corn was being bowed to by your small ugly gross sheaves. Weird, right?" Yeah your brothers hate you.

The brothers sing "The dreams are more than crystal clear, the writing on the wall" referencing a part of the Bible that hasn't happened yet. Good job Mr. Rice.

"One More Angel in Heaven" is such a fun song, especially the transition after Jacob leaves and the brothers repeat the refrain "Joseph we'll never forget you, it's TOUGH but we're gonna get by (yeehaw!)"

Just in general, every song in the show is a different "genre" and that really makes it so fun to listen to and sing

The narrator says, "letting out a mighty roar" and Potiphar actually does say, "Roooooar!!!!"

Poor Joseph is locked in jail forEVER but oh no, it's fine, just let him DECAY he DOESN'T MATTER anyway

His situation in prison is objectively terrible but he has such a little pity party about it

"According to your dream Pharaoh will execute you :( yeah sorry :( I mean, don't take MY word for it. I've never been wrong though"

Pharaoh as Elvis is an excellent choice. Also loved the part when he says "I was standing doing nothing in a field out of town" as a way to explain the setting for his dream

Joseph: Well, looks like you're going to need someone to head this crisis. I have no idea who could possibly help you though. Not even a little clue. Sorry :(

Pharaoh: YOU shall lead us through this crisis

Joseph: :O me??????????

"Canaan Days" is the best overall song in the play, I think. The drama. The French accents. The phrase "where diiiiiiiiiiid they go?" gets progressively longer each time, with drawn out gasping for air. They throw in an "incroyable!" in the background when Reuben sings, "actually I kind of miss Joseph, maybe he wasn't such a bad kid."

Joseph saying, "your TRAGIC STORY really GETS TO ME" when his brothers come bowing and scraping to him

"Benjamin you nasty youth, your crime has SHOCKED me to the core! ... Guards seize him, lock him in a cell! Throw the key into the Nile as well!" just so, so dramatic.

And then of course Joseph says, "look guys it's just me. Surprise! I'm not dead! Or a slave! Okay that's a wrap"

What an all-around fun time. The sound track (and the whole musical is just singing) is around an hour and I highly highly recommend a listen.

[lulu2992]

Hello! I was wondering something. In Vaas: Insanity there are six visions that occur in the hotel, five of which happen in numbered rooms: 1991, 2003, 2006, 2007, and 2012. So I was thinking, what if those numbers correlate to a specific year? Personally I think that it's kinda confusing, because that would imply that for example, Vaas rebelled against Hoyt in 2012. What are your thoughts? Thanks for reading!

Hello! I don’t think I’d even realized the room numbers could be years, but that makes total sense! I’ve just watched a video of the mission and there are two rooms with the number 2012: the one in which we see the Pirate meeting you’re referring to, and the one in which we see Jason kill Vaas. The second event did happen in 2012 so I agree: the room numbers must be years!

Now, about the Pirates wanting to rebel against Hoyt… While it’s true there were tensions between them and the Privateers in Far Cry 3, what we see in that vision is strange to me for several reasons. Firstly, why is there another “Pirate Leader”? Wasn’t Vaas their only leader, especially in 2012? Has there ever even been another leader? Who is this guy he’s listening to as a pupil listening to a teacher?

Secondly, what he’s upset about is the fact they want to “take the land from the natives”. That’s an inherently infuriating concept, sure, but in the context of the story, why would Vaas be surprised and angry about that? He knows what he signed up for when Hoyt recruited him, he knows his boss hates the Rakyat, and I even believe he started working for him in the first place partly because he felt betrayed and wanted revenge. The way I see it, Vaas becoming Hoyt’s right hand and leading the Pirates is his ultimate “Fuck you” to Citra and, by extension, the Rakyat. He wouldn’t complain about their land being stolen.

Thirdly, in the vision, when he asks where the men are from, they all (except the “Leader” who’s just been shot in the leg) say they were born “here”. The problem is that, in Far Cry 3, the in-game description said the Pirates “came to the island”, implying they’re all foreigners. Also, they have nothing but contempt for the Rakyat and their accent is not the same, so I’m not sure why Insanity implies most of the Pirates are native Rook Islanders. As far as I know, Vaas is the only Rakyat among them.

I also think it’s a bit weird to imagine they have wives, children, and “normal” family lives... but maybe some of them do, who knows?

So, in my opinion, the idea that Vaas himself asked the Pirates to rebel, especially for the reasons cited in the DLC, doesn’t make sense. On the contrary, it was he who maintained the fragile balance of power between his men and Hoyt’s, and it was precisely when he died that the Pirates, without a leader, started attacking the Privateers to try to get control of the island. I think it would have been strange for Vaas to “start a war with Hoyt” in Far Cry 3.

That said, it seems the DLC’s writers believed Vaas felt guilty for not becoming Citra’s “Ultimate Warrior”, leaving the Rakyat, and convincing others to follow him. I don’t really agree with this interpretation (and Insanity isn’t canon to me anyway) because he chose not to complete the ritual, still clearly resents the tribe, and I don’t think other Rakyat became Pirates, but maybe that’s why the devs thought the rebellion against Hoyt was Vaas’ idea.

Also, because Vaas, Pagan, and Joseph are unreliable narrators in Insanity, Control, and Collapse, some of the “visions” they experience, for various reasons, either never happened or show a distorted version of reality, so maybe this scene isn’t a memory but a fantasy, a romanticization of his past and a way for him to “correct” it in his mind. It’s possible Vaas never actually started a war on Hoyt but (at least in the DLC) wishes he had done it.

Again, I doubt this meeting happened or even could have happened in Far Cry 3, but I suppose that’s why the scene exists in Insanity.

[onlymurdersintheafterparty]

OMITB S4:E4 "The Stunt Man"

Ok I've rewatched the episode with fresh eyes and ready to do a recap. I really appreciate the pacing that this season is taking regarding sleuthing because it gives us more to enjoy and theorize about each week. And as always there are a million new questions for every question answered. Spoilers ahead!

The episode intro was narrated by a man with an Irish accent who is later revealed to be an Irish stuntman for BEN GLENROY! In all four seasons nothing has had me more shook than that reveal. Glenn Stubbins is odd and goofy and while amusing I am 100% ok with him not returning for the rest of the series.

Shock aside, I found the stunt man bar Concussions to be interesting, especially the funeral they held for Sazz. I know some people think the real bottle was to hurt Charles but I think it was genuinely inserted to add chaos and may just be a gimmick amongst the crew. I love how Charles stood in for Sazz and did it for both her and her friends and it shows just how dear she was to him.

I'm someone who believes ancestors and loved ones can visit you in dreams to send messages so the idea of Sazz helping from beyond the grave is fascinating to me. But I'm so confused about a few things. Was she only going to retire or was she sick as wel? With all the trauma her body went through could she have been battling with onset ALS symptoms and needed to retire? I know she built and had plans for her academy which could have still been run up until she could no longer move. Also the relationship she wanted to get away from is clearly not Charles and I'm thinking Scott Bakula or even Eugene Levy or whoever else she did stunts for.

I don't trust the Westies. Cheap rent? Ok that I can buy. But I still think they're running some sort of. crime ring. They tried to say Helga was troubled but I think she was being serious. The Westies all say they've met him so I think it's safe to say Dudenoff is a real person but I don't think he's in Portugal. Vince says Helga was the wrong type of weirdo so I wonder if she's the one in the photo with her face crossed out. If that's the case what if Sazz bore a resemblance to Helga and one of them mid card game saw her through the window, thought she was telling Charles and exposing them and killed her for it? Also why did Beverly put a notice under Dudenoff's door when everyone said he was out of town? It's as if she wanted to lure Howard out since he didn't even get the role. Could Beverly herself be Dudenoff? That could also explain the scratched out face in the pictures but still doesn't explain why Sazz was killed. I don't know it just all seems connected and I can't quite figure out how.

Oliver and Loretta's storyline could easily be wrapped up with an honest conversation and full transparency from Oliver but I guess we'll have to ride this wave until the finale.

I know we always joke about Howard being Moriarty, but I'm really starting to think he might be. This episode he said he has no friends and each season he becomes more involved in the investigations even though he himself isn't involved. It could have started out of jealousy of their friendship then transitioned into him being power hungry with the knowledge that he can manipulate things behind the scenes to help or hurt the investigations. So I guess this is me saying that I don't think Moriarty is violent (anymore bc he did poison Wnnie) and that it's out of loneliness and boredom than malice at this point hence none of the trio or near circle getting hurt by him since then except for the actual murderer(s) each season.