#Eddie coming out as gay is literally the ONLY thing that makes sense

[makorragal-312]

I really hope that Tim understands how much of a disservice it would be if he decides to make Eddie's arc about going full Catholic instead of realizing his Catholic upbringing suppressed his sexuality and eventually coming out.

Because if he decided to go that route, what exactly would that show?

Like "Oh, the reason Eddie couldn't maintain a steady relationship with women was because he wasn't religious enough. And now that he is, that won't be an issue anymore!"

That literally makes no sense from a narrative standpoint and it definitely sends a certain message from a realistic standpoint.

[kevjeanyves]

i just got here (and by that i mean i binged the whole show while studying for finals between november and december), but buddie can’t NOT go canon. not at this point. not with everything they’ve set up

bucks canonically bisexual. that’s a massive key component. the queerBAIT is now lying entirely on eddie’s shoulders. and in terms of bucks storyline, the horrible guy he dated was given a barebones personality…that resembles eddie (military, likes sports, had a serious relationship with a woman). almost every trait they gave That Guy resembles eddie (except eddie isn’t racist). they did that on purpose. buck, bothered, bewildered, bisexual or whatever it’s called was so centred on bucks relationship with eddie

plus the whole confessions “i’m not your last” moment, only for the LAST shot of that episode to be buck and eddie sitting side by side. confessions as a whole is such insane proof of impending buddie canon too…the whole focus on eddie finding joy, on eddie’s catholic guilt and guilt in general, on eddie not wanting to See himself both figuratively and literally because he’s scared of what he’ll find…josh’s speech applying to eddie but making no sense regarding that Other Guy (the glee thing made no sense regardless)

and THAT focus is so obviously pointing towards eddie being gay. eddie’s entire everything has always pointed towards him being gay, i can’t lie, but it’s getting so much more obvious. they’ve reached a point where nothing about eddie’s personal arc or journey makes any fucking sense UNLESS he’s gay, and every storyline is making it more obvious that they’ve realized it

his catholic guilt being brought up. not wanting to be intimate with a woman who represents god in his mind. sex, god, and shame all coming together in that episode, AND bobby bringing up that eddie does this thing in relationships where he makes excuses instead of examining how he really feels towards them…now im sure bobby doesn’t know eddie’s gay, but it invites the audience and eddie to examine his past behaviour towards female romantic partners. and every single thing about that priest/juice scene in confessions. catholicism guilt tied into sexuality again (“uh…n-no offence…i-im straight” to a priest like cmon)

and speaking of past relationships, eddie’s grief is at the forefront of his storyline too now. his main most pressing storyline being chris’s running away. eddie’s grief and complicated emotions towards shannon have always been something he struggles with, and in s7 we learn that chris has complicated feelings around his mom too. and at the end of s7…well. what a stupid fucking storyline, but grief is the driving force of the chasm between eddie and chris. this addresses the most important romantic relationship eddie had with a woman (obviously shannon), and hopefully the relationship he has with his son, and both of those people are excuses eddie might be making in his own head to justify not even questioning his sexuality. eddie and shannon had chris when they were teenagers, eddie’s been a dad literally his entire adult life. does he know he can be gay if he’s been married? if he has a kid? does he know he’s allowed to even question his own sexuality? it’s probably what michael felt, but more complicated

AND michael stayed with athena thinking she could “fix” him. eddie said in s7 that he thinks he’s broken and can’t be fixed, to a woman he’d been unadvisedly pursuing, a woman who looked just like his own wife…

then, the “you think being a cheerleader makes your son weak?” storyline. cheerleading is seen as feminine and there are a lot of stereotypes about male cheerleaders and feminine men. both cheerleading and being gay are seen as feminine. the cheerleader called eddie “dad” and hen pointed out to chim that it his emergency is difficult for eddie because he misses his own kid AND the conversation with the cheerleaders dad where he relates it to his own current situation, which connects the storyline to eddie and chris. but the “you think [stereotypically feminine thing] makes your son weak?” brings eddie and ramon to mind. because eddie was raised to be hypermasculine and Not Weak, never weak. what would ramon think if eddie comes out as gay?

and, finally, the focus on eddie finding joy. on eddie doing any introspection at all. on eddie Seeing himself and understanding himself and being kinder to himself. on eddie realizing he deserves to be happy. on eddie realizing he doesn’t have to hide behind his (ridiculously adorable) moustache, that he doesn’t have to hide who he is

s7 was for bi buck. s8 is for gay eddie AND likely for buddie. eddie’s currently trying to see Himself and make amends with his past (and because that went badly, making amends with chris…the child he sorta partially legally gave to buck, in a way…). buck’s trying to not lose hope over the future, wondering who’ll be the last to love him (or wondering if he’s loveable at all). eddie’s true self AND bucks endgame are called into question at the same time…now maybe i just got here But

[lover-of-mine]

it’s so interesting that with previous love interests, it was normal and fine to not ship them and to still want buddie in the future, but now, we have to sit down and shut up and accept that it’s never happening and B/T are forever

oh no wait, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying and confusing and frankly just weird. misogynistic and borderline fetishistic

shipping non-canon couples, especially ones with 6 years of history and love and shared experiences, is the norm in literally every fandom, but now suddenly it’s wrong and how dare we

a fair few of the people saying this are also, conveniently, the ones implying that B’s bisexuality is tied to T and T alone and if we don’t ship them, we don’t support bi!B

how. very. interesting! /annoying/confusing/weird

So interesting. Dude, I got called homophobic because I didn't immediately look at them in 703 and decided they were true love. In 703. Because I didn't look at the shoulder touch and immediately started shipping them. Homophobic with all the letters. I got yelled at. After 703. Legit almost deleted this whole blog over some of the things that got sent. I was legitimately crying with friends who are not in the fandom if I was being unreasonable or insane or whatever else I got called for not jumping in instantly and to ask if I was actually doing something wrong. People were saying we were being weird about queer storylines. That we needed to shut the fuck up and enjoy the way Oliver Stark was gonna make out with a hot guy. That not being on board the ship meant that we had an unreasonable and ridiculous necessity of making sure Eddie was the only guy for Buck. Literally every single person in this fandom hc Buck 1.0 also hooked up with guys. Most people never acted as if Buck needs to be guided through his queerness by this hot older guy. Oh, wait, no, they did. With T. People automatically decided that Buck needed a queer Yoda. That he needed someone to hold his hand and be a guide. They added a fucked up power dynamic from the get go. With no information, Buck was already a baby that needed his hand held through his own sexuality. And let me tell you one thing, I know for a FACT that if it was Eddie, the automatic reaction wouldn't be putting T in this idealized experienced gay guide position when that would've made more sense (not that I think any of them needs a guide) because Eddie is the one with the body count you can count with one hand and a weird relationship with sex. But somehow I'm the one who's weird about Buck's sexuality. I don't want Buck to explore. I need Buck to only have loved Eddie. Sure. Look, I don't wanna multiship. The same way everyone is allowed to ship whatever the fuck they want, I'm allowed to not ship whatever the fuck I want. If it was a woman no one would've been in my inbox basically demanding I make the same level of analysis I make for buddie for them (let me tell you one thing too, if I made the level of analysis I do with buddie with bt, no one would like what I have to say ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) but I'm still getting asked for it for some reason when I never indicated I ship the two.

But I'm not allowed to have any critical thoughts about anything involving bt or else I'm being weird and that's the mild term that's being used. I can't point out the fact that T left Buck in a curb and failed to communicate shit properly even though it happened in canon. I can't say that I think it felt kinda callous for him to say "they had henleys in the 80s" to Buck being upset T didn't dress on theme (also, the job requires them to change into a uniform by nature, he could've put a colorful shirt and indulged Buck a little bit there without it interfering with the way he was on standby but I can't say that or else I'm a hater). There is no criticism allowed in the ship but somehow I'm the one being weird. I don't think Buck should be in a relationship. I think Buck is still exhibiting the same patterns when it comes to love interests. And yes, I would feel the same way if it was Eddie. Buck doesn't know how to be happy alone and he will never be happy in a relationship until he learns that. I was saying that when it was Natalia and getting praised for my understanding of Buck's character. Now I'm locking Buck onto Eddie. Buck's bisexuality is only valid if he's actively kissing a guy for some people but I'm the one being weird. BT have so many visual parallels to bucktaylor, but if I say that's a bad sign I'm being a hater. I need to sit my ass down, ignore six seasons of buildup, accept that it's over, and that now making Eddie queer and getting buddie together would suck because it would destroy the friendship they built so bt are endgame and gonna get married and somehow I'm the one who's being weird about queer relationships and attaching Buck bisexuality to a person. The fandom lost its fucking mind when they saw Oliver kiss a guy and, yeah, it does feel misogynistic and borderline fetishizing. But somehow I'm the one getting blocked by half the fandom when I'm not even pointing everything I want out. I lose at least one mutual every time I even suggest maybe we should look at things a bit more critically. I have to sit here and justify things to an insane degree while people's reaction to any of the criticism is "uH BuT T Is hOt aNd hE Is a gUy sO It iS DiFfErEnT oKaY?" Critical thinking skills went out the window because now there's a guy involved and that's fucking weird. People are straight up erasing Eddie, the actual main character of the show, Buck's established partner of years, Buck's best friend, the only person in canon who never left Buck in any capacity, because some guy kissed Buck and, he, uh *check notes* treats Buck as an actual human being? so that means he's perfect. It's nuts. The bar is hell.

Yes, I know this is not everyone in the fandom and I know this is not everyone who ships them but if what I'm saying feels like a personal attack to you maybe you should do some thinking. Anyone can ship anything, you want to ship them go off, power to you, the weird part here is the way some people are demanding other people ship it too. We could all be coexisting if people didn't get weirdly comfortable demanding shit from other people in the fandom and deciding their opinion is the only one that matters so they need to call out anyone who thinks differently, but alas, that's too much to ask.

[hairmetal666]

Steve

Asking Eddie to move to Indy with him and Robin is the most natural thing in the world. After Vecna they became SteveandRobinandEddie, so it just made sense to live together.

Everything is perfect.

It changes one night, at their favorite gay bar. He and Eddie nurse a couple of beers at a hightop, while Robin dances with a cute blonde. Steve half-heartedly shimmies along to the Madonna song pumping through the speakers. Eddie watches him vamp to Material Girl with a look in his dark eyes that Steve can't quite read. It's not the usual fondness he's used to from his friend; too dark and too serious. It makes him nervous.

Eddie drains his drink, mouths the word "bathroom," at Steve, then disappears in the crowd.

Steve sips his own beer, letting his attention drift until he finds Robin, still dancing with the blonde, looking like she's having the time of her life. He expects Eddie back at any time, only--ten, fifteen minutes pass with no sign of him.

His eyes start scanning the crowd in earnest, desperately seeking familiar leather and denim and long dark hair. Anxiety builds in his chest, a dull sizzle beneath his skin.

He finally spots a set of leather-clad broad shoulders towards the back of the room. Eddie has one hand braced against the brick wall, pressed up nice and close to someone Steve can't quite make out.

There's bile in Steve's throat, nausea clenching at his stomach. He shouldn't look; he can't tear his eyes away.

The person is revealed in a flash of light from the dance floor. He has an All-American jaw, swoopy dark blond hair, and is wearing a grass green sweater. The closest thing to Indiana golden boy in the place, second only to Steve.

Room suddenly spinning, Steve struggles to catch his breath, but gives up entirely as Eddie closes the remaining distance between himself and the mystery man, sealing their lips in a searing kiss.

Steve watches, feels himself breaking apart piece by piece. He thought--he thought they were something. Becoming something. All their late night talks and casual touches. He'd been working up the courage to make a move for weeks, and now--

Maybe it's a mistake. Maybe Eddie breaks the embrace and gives an embarrassed chuckle before he comes back to Steve, only he doesn't. The kiss ends, sure, but then Eddie is taking the guy's hand, leading him down the hall towards the bathrooms.

Hands clutched in his hair, Steve sinks into a crouch. He pants, huffing like he just ran sprints, can't catch his breath. Tears dance at his lash line, threatening to fall. He can't have a panic attack now, here. Doesn't want Robin to see; doesn't want Eddie--

It's all too small, too tight, too loud, and Steve shoves his way outside. He rounds the building before sinking to the ground, hands shaking.

He waits outside until Robin and Eddie emerge from the club, both flushed and sweaty. He doesn't speak to either of them and they spend the drive in silence.

When they get home, he goes straight to his bedroom.

"Ste--" Robin calls, but he lets the door shut behind him. He doesn't think it slams.

Eddie

Steve hasn't spoken to him in weeks. Not since that night at the bar. When Eddie hooked up with a guy and he's pretty sure Steve knows; pretty sure it's why they're no longer on speaking terms. Eddie keeps meaning to confront him. He really does. It's just--it'll change everything, and his life was finally going okay for once.

He reaches his limit when he joins Steve in the kitchen before work, and the guy literally, visibly flinches away from him. It hits Eddie like being punched in the dick.

"What the fuck, Harrington." Eddie's voice is too loud in the small space.

"S-sorry, I'll just get out of your way." Steve's eyes don't stray from his own hands.

"I hook up with one guy and now can't even bear to touch me?"

"What? Eds that's not--"

"Don't lie to my fucking face."

"I wouldn't. Eddie, please--"

"I can't believe that this is the last vestige of King Steve. Can say you're cool with me, but when you see me do gay shit, you can't hang? Fuck you. I'm done. I'll be gone by the weekend." His voice stays remarkably steady, even though he's pretty sure not even the bat bites hurt this much.

"Christ, Munson, I'm not freaked out cause I saw you do 'gay shit.' I don't care." Steve's looking at him now; his little mouth held tight and mad.

"Like hell you don't. You haven't spoken to me since it happened."

"Not because I'm homophobic, asshole."

That makes Eddie laugh, shrill and mean. "Oh yeah? Then why."

"It doesn't matter." Steve yanks his hand through his hair.

"It does to me."

"Just drop it. You don't have to move out. I don't care who you fuck."

"You can barely stand to look at me!" Eddie shouts; doesn't mean to. "What if I bring someone home, huh? How are you gonna cope with that, knowing I'm fucking a guy in the next room?"

"It should have been me," Steve screams.

Neither of them move in the ringing silence that follows. Eddie's throat is tight.

"Wh-what?" He manages.

"Forget it." Steve turns to go. "Just--forget I said anything."

"Steve." Eddie follows him into their living room. His heart's beating all funny. "What do you mean?"

"It's nothing," Steve's face is leached of color; his eyes too bright.

"Please? I want to understand."

Steve laughs a little, looks absolutely miserable. "I saw you. With the guy. And he...he looked like me, right? And I don't understand why I'm not good enough."

Eddie swallows hard. "You don't--you're not--I didn't think you were a choice. For me."

Steve's chin drops, anywhere but on Eddie. "Yeah. Well. Surprise." He doe a pathetic flourish with his hands that clenches at Eddie's heart.

"Ah," is all Eddie can manage. The world is shifting under his feet, tectonic plates realigning as he processes Steve's words.

"It's--it's fine that you don't feel the same way. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to like me, and I--I was trying to get over it. I didn't want to--"

Eddie can't stand to listen to another word. He crosses the distance to Steve. "Shh, sweetheart. It's--just. Stop okay?"

Steve is looking up at him now, doe eyes wide.

He laughs, genuine this time. "Stevie. I've had a crush on you for years. Years. I used to make the guys go with me to Starcourt. I told them it was because I liked seeing King Steve laid low. Really I just liked how you looked in those little shorts." Steve giggles, face blushing such a pretty pink Eddie almost forgets what he's saying.

"It only got worse when I met the kids, with how much they talked about you. And then I met you for real? Pssh," Eddie waves his hand in the air. "Gone. No hope for Eddie Munson when you're--you're so pretty and bitchy and brave and hot, Steve, and I'm the weakest man in Indiana.

"That night. That guy. It was--I'd just overheard you and Robin talking about a cute girl, and I realized that I had to stop doing that to myself, pining over a straight guy who could never see me like I wanted. I decided that I'd try to pick someone up, force myself to see you just as a best friend."

Steve's face falls impassive. "Did it work?" He almost whispers.

"Not even close, baby," Eddie whispers back. "I'm hopeless for you."

[myimaginarywonderland]

I present to you:

Tommy and Josh are friends. Somehow after some calls they got friendly and at one point decided to just hang out after exchanging numbers and texting for a while. They clicked. They found out they both were gay and it's so easy to finally have a friend that gets it.

So at one of their hangouts after the hurrican thing Tommy talks about the stunt the 118 pulled and he is like making fun before he talks about this guy being a literal golden retriever, trying to encourage the them and Josh just laughs and says "That's Buck alright." And Tommy just slowly turns to Josh with a look, a look that Josh has come to know and Josh goes "No Tommy, no."

And Tommy is all like "I didn't even say anything!"

And Josh is like "I get it trust me. First few times I meet him, I also crushed but that man is straight and also a giant idiot. His heart is too big and he wouldn't know how to turn you down. As his friend, I am telling you do not."

And Tommy goes "fine" and then they continue on with Tommy telling Josh about meeting up with Eddie and Josh makes a joke about the two army guys obviously bonding.

Cut to like three weeks later (They have both had different shift schedules and Josh has helped Maddie with the wedding) and they meet up after the restaurant date and Josh can sense something is wrong with his friend.

He wants to probe but Tommy just says "Thought I had a chance with a cute guy bit turns out he wasn't ready for something" and Josh gets it. He's been there, it sucks sometimes and he just offers his friend a shoulder to lean.

Another two weeks pass and when they meet up again Tommy is smiling. Like his nose scrunch smile which he only does when he is really smitten and Josh has truly only seen it once. So he immediately goes into questioning mood but Tommy just laughs and says "You know that cute guy? I think he is ready" but he won't elaborate further. And Josh is trying but Tommy just keeps giving vague answers and wow, Josh truly has never seen Tommy like this and feels a swell of happiness because whoever has his friend smiling like that better be good and worth it.

Josh also coincidentally has a meet up with the Buckley-Han family (they are already married to him basically) and he notices how Buck is glancing at his phone a lot and having this goofy smile and wow. He makes a joke about Buck having found a new girlfriend and Buck sort of freezes and now Josh feels bad but then he smiles such a soft smile it kind of hits him in the chest when he says "I am seeing someone and I am really happy." Cut to Chim wanting to probe but Buck not bugging and Josh just feeling happy for his friend. Maddie suddenly turns and ask "Did you want to bring them to the wedding?" and Buck kind of sheepishly replies "I already invited them." And Maddie softly chuckles talking about how gone her brother is and Josh is suddenly aware that Buck is using only they/them which isn't weird but it's not how Buck usually talks.

And Chim pipes up and says "With how much time you have been spending talking complaining about Tommy before, I have no idea where you suddenly got a date" and OMG.

Buck flushes a bit, Maddie laughs and Josh slaps a hand over his mouth to stop a giggle coming out.

Buck notices of course he does and when they are done later he pulls Josh aside and wants to talk but Josh just throws himself at Buck, hugging him.

"If you break his heart as his friend I have to hurt you. But as your friend, I couldn't be more happier for you" to which Buck kind of melts, chuckles and returns the hug.

On the way home, after some more heartfelt words because he knows how difficult and hard this can be, Josh stops the car at Tommy's flat, knocks up a storm and pushes past Tommy only to explode in the hallway as soon as the door is closed.

"YOU ARE DATING EVAN BUCKLEY AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME!"

And Tommy is a bit flabbergasted and laughs to which Josh kind of gets upset and says "I love you, I am fully in support of your relationship, I couldn't be happier, he is a catch but damn, are you telling me I could have had a chance?"

Which just causes a ridiculous laughing and giggling fit between two grown ass adults that Josh and Tommy will be happy to deny ever happened.

[alucardens]

Yeah though seriously- you might not ship Buck and Tommy and that's okay- everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as it doesn't harm anyone- what makes it not okay is when you say things like you're being queerbaited- in a show that *literally* has a canon lesbian couple (where one half of the couple is a main character) SINCE the first episode of the show, that, 1) consistently, as a couple, have storylines that get resolved in a way that shows the writers aren't brushing the characters away, and arcs that show character growth.

2) NONE. NONE. Of the canonically queer characters have been harmed in a way that resulted in permanent death. And when they do get in harms way (which is inevitable- this is the nature of the show), it's done in a thoughtful way- their actions and risk of death/ injury WOULD add something to the plot/ storyline. Their loss would have an impact on us as the viewer. They would not be meaningless deaths. And aside from death, even queer characters who 'exit the main storyline of the show' but are otherwise alive, are still done with thought and care. I mean, (and spoilers for the first few seasons of the show,) Michael's storyline lasted (iirc) about 3-5? seasons. (We are not talking about meta events such as why they removed the actor from the show). He and his (named AND on-screen) husband, David, move to help people. His husband is literally a neurosurgeon. There was literally an episode revolving around Michael's proposal to David. Even after they've moved away, they're STILL referenced and talked about. They're not pushed away or ignored like the way some shows treat characters who aren't there anymore.

Josh (my bby fr), who's also been canonically gay since his first appearance, also has a arc that's real and very very relatable to most of us. The show takes it fucking seriously as well. And Josh is GOOD. Even as a side character, he's not reduced to the 'gay best friend'. As I said, he has his own storyline and arc, he has his own opinions, he's good at his job.

Aside from the main characters, imo, 911 also does a damn good job of showing that queer people exist. You might not like it because 'oh they're showing queer people who are in danger/ not happy/ dying.' To which I'd respond by saying that you're watching a show about paramedics. As much as we like to say this is the gay firefighter show (accurate lmao), we need to remember that there's going to be dark themes in this show.

I don't remember every call they've come across that involved queer people, but we for sure remember the 'we ever only wanted to go together' scene, with the elderly husbands. Yes it involves death. That's why we're seeing this scene in the first place- the engine wouldn't have to respond to a call if there wasn't a call in the first place. But it also fucking shows queer people growing old together and making a life for themselves. The opening scene is literally a montage of the husbands' relationship over the years. I don't know how many mainstream shows put that much fucking care in queer characters.

And then there's also the wlw couple in that car accident thing- not as significant as the husbands but like, that's the point, is it not? Not all their calls are significant- we don't even see all of them. The point is that they just show queer people existing as a general thing. It's not strange that the two women who were in the same car in a crash are both gay. There's no weird over-sexualised kiss. There's no show or mention or even hint of homophobia or confusion by the firefighters. It's fucking normal. So yeah. Do I ship endgame Tevan? Not at this moment. Do I like them together as a couple right now? Fucking yes. My personal opinion is that I like Buck and Eddie together more (at least for now), but why would I not ship Tommy and Buck right now? It makes no fucking sense not to. Buck is in a happy (queer) relationship, he's still figuring himself out as a bi man in his 30s, he's dating a masc man, who's past is messy and has since grown (oh look at that, another character arc revolving around a queer person), and they're clearly fucking happy together.

Anyway. I have a lot of feelings about this lmao. You want proper bi representation? Bro. I don't know what to tell you but you're looking at it.

[unclewaynemunson]

'Back off, man, I can do it alone.'

'No you can't.'

Granted, Max couldn't see shit anymore, but she could definitely feel how Eddie was looking at her – how he was winning their staring contest simply because her withering glare didn't exist anymore.

'Look, I don't want you in there with me, period,' she said, trying to sound more in control than she was feeling. She felt her cheeks burn and she hated it.

'Why not?'

She sighed, wishing she could still roll her eyes. 'Jesus, Eddie, do I really need to spell this out for you? It's one thing that my mom has to help me with literally everything, but there's no way I'm gonna let you.'

'Max.' She hated how Eddie's voice had gone soft all of a sudden. 'What are you afraid of?'

She merely scoffed in response; she still felt her cheeks burn. She didn't want to be here, didn't want to have this conversation, didn't want to think about how fucking vulnerable she felt. All she wanted was to go to the goddamn bathroom, was even that too much to ask?

'It's no different for me than for your mom, you know,' Eddie said. Max wished she could see his face, because something in his voice was different than usual but she didn't know what exactly it was.

'You know that's not true,' she said, her jaw clenched.

'No, it is.' She could hear how he took a deep breath. 'I'm gay. So, um... I can promise you it won't be weird.'

'Oh.' She didn't quite know what to do, taken aback by the vulnerability of those words. He didn't need to share this; he only did it to make her feel comfortable. He just handed her this big secret, trusting that she'd react in the right way, that she'd help him keep it, that she wouldn't want to hurt him. It was almost too much responsibility; she didn't really know what to say. She wasn't good with comforting or kind or reassuring words like Lucas.

'Does anyone else know?' she asked.

'My uh... My uncle.'

The scent of smoke made its way into Max's nose and she grimaced, but didn't tell him off; if any moment was a good one to have a cigarette, this one would probably be it, she supposed.

She still wondered what Lucas would say in this moment, but kept coming up empty.

'Okay, you can help me in the bathroom,' she finally decided, shifting back into a more practical mindset.

'Soooo...' Eddie dragged out the word. 'Are you - are we - okay?'

'Yeah, of course.' She should probably thank him for trusting her and tell him that he was her friend and she would always love him no matter who he loved or some sentimental bullshit like that, but she felt too awkward about it so she went for silence instead.

While Eddie helped her into the shower and washed her – at least as far as possible with all her casts – her mind kept running. It wasn't as awkward as she had expected it to be, to have Eddie undress her and touch her skin and even help her on the toilet. He was surprisingly gentle and kept checking in to make sure she was feeling okay, and he even made some lame jokes to try and keep things light. It made her think that this could be what it's like to have an older brother. It made her think of Billy.

'Billy would've hated you,' she finally broke the silence when she was dressed in fresh pajamas and lying with her head against the sink, Eddie's hands massaging shampoo in her hair.

She felt his hands freeze against her scalp.

'He always used to call people fags and pervs and... you know. And he'd beat people up for it. Sometimes I wondered...' She paused, hesitating. 'If he was, like, compensating for something.'

'Compensating?'

'Yeah, you know... If you go around calling enough people queers, no one will expect you to be one, right?'

Eddie hummed. 'I didn't know your brother very well,' he told her. 'Some people say that the queers have this instinct, like a sixth sense, to recognize each other, but I think that's bullshit. Or well, not entirely, sometimes you do get like a vibe from someone – but in the end, you can't just know someone's truth like that. And some people will bury that truth deep, deep down. And we can hardly blame them for that. It can be easier to pretend, you know – it's definitely safer. This world wasn't made for being different in that way. For being different in a lot of ways, actually. Whatever his demons were, whatever war was going on inside of him, I think Billy knew that very well.' He turned on the tap and started rinsing her hair.

'I'm sorry you can't get your answers,' he added when he turned the water back off again.

She sighed in response and let Eddie help her in an upright sitting position. She could feel how he started brushing her hair, carefully, as if she'd break into pieces from just the tiniest touch.

She realized that Eddie was right: there was no way to know what wars exactly took place in Billy's mind. The only thing she did know is that he had been a terrible brother to her - but that, despite that, she still wished it would've been different.

Billy wasn't here anymore; he was buried in the ground and his body was slowly falling apart, eaten by worms. But Eddie was here.

Eddie had constantly been at her side when they were both in the hospital, and now that she had come home, he still was. He checked in on her every afternoon; he cooked for her and her mom; he told her stories to entertain her and tried his best to make her smile whenever she was feeling frustrated by the limits of her body. He listened to her when she wanted to talk, and he kept her company when she didn't. He looked out for her and even trusted her with his secrets. He was more of a brother to her than Billy had ever been. He was right here - and she had all the time in the world to ask him all the questions she never got to ask Billy.

'Have you ever kissed a guy?'

She heard Eddie chuckle softly. 'I have.'

'Have you ever had a boyfriend?'

'Have not.'

'Why not?'

And he answered everything she asked him, all while softly stroking her brush through her hair. And when her mom came home, they drank tea together on the couch, and it strangely felt like they were a proper family.

[mazzystar24]

My 911 hills I will die on:

Eddie Diaz is gay

Buck has ADHD- the writers could come knocking on my door and tell me that he’s not and I still would argue with them with a PowerPoint and everything

The Buckley parents deserve to go straight to hell and their redemption arc makes me foam at the mouth (negative)

More on that: the insistence of a show that is so deeply rooted in the concept of found family to constantly give shitty parents redemption arcs is so irritating

Maddie Buckley didn’t raise buck since she was 9 years old while dealing with her own trauma or give him her jeep and money (AKA HER LITERAL SAFETY NET TO ESCAPE HER ABUSER) just so people can sit there and call her a bad sister -I’m a Maddie Buckley defender and I stand by that

Both sides were flawed with the lawsuit thing and neither should be too harshly judged- Bobby kept buck out when buck already proved himself but he was doing it out of protectiveness in his own flawed way because let’s be honest he just saw the guy he considers a son nearly die in front of him three times in one year and saw the PT and toll it all took through the whole process and keep in mind he’s already lost 2 kids already but buck also shouldn’t have sued impulsively or disclosed such intimate information and should’ve tried to take a more rational approach but let’s also be fair and remember this is the guy THAT DID GO THROUGH ALL THOSE THINGS IN THAT SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME like no one would be okay mentally, no one would be rational, not when you spend a shit ton of time to recover only to be told (in his brain at least) that it’s not enough from someone you not only consider as a mentor, friend and father figure but also the same person who was motivating you through your recovery

The way Shannon spoke about Christopher’s cerebral palsy will never not rub me the wrong way I’m sorry to any who love her

The way Natalia spoke about bucks death is also just a no from me

I actually hated the whole thing with Hen and the madney engagement like idk why the writing felt it was appropriate to try to compare Hen CHEATING (granted it was ooc and in season one) with Maddie suffering postpartum depression make it make sense- they could’ve had the same level of hen and chimney friendship moment/ hen looking out for him without doing this type of thing which just made me a little angry with hen while watching it but ultimately deciding this storyline doesnt exist in my brain

[eddiestightywhities]

if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? | T | 2,860

[check the link above for tags]

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SUMMARY:

“So, you two were…”

“We were on a date. Yes.” Buck is smiling, and Eddie wants to hug him for how damn happy he looks about the whole thing, just as much as he wants to grab his friend's face in both hands and irrationally scream what is happening to us? until his voice is hoarse.

Whatever an out of body experience feels like, Eddie reckons it might be something akin to this. And he knows how dramatic he's being, he does, but he can't seem to stop—even if he is at a complete loss as to why.

OR

Buck's coming out scene from Eddie's POV, where Eddie realises it's not his girlfriend that he's in love with.

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read below the cut or on ao3 HERE

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Eddie can't tell himself he's never thought about it. He has, it's just he's never—weighed any of it up, exactly. Hasn't openly considered it, or let himself examine the idea there could've been anything else. That there could still be something else. There's only how things were, the way it'd gone a certain way for him when it came to romantic relationships.

Him and a girl. Him and a wife. Him and women. That's just the way it's always been. The way things are for Eddie.

Until Buck is metaphorically punching him in the face with so many huge revelations in the space of a few stark truths that Eddie apparently couldn't, or wouldn't allow himself to look at.

He thinks of that saying; something about not being able to see the wood for all the trees. The forest surrounding Eddie's life has always been frighteningly dense, with no room at all for his branches to grow any taller or wider than his allotted space. Now Eddie is being forced to think about that fully, for the first time in sort of ever, but doesn't have time to process what the hell any of it might mean. A little ruefully, he thinks he'd prefer a literal punch to the face than having to deal with his own neurosis. At once, he's remembering Buck barrelling into him on the basketball court, which—dios, kind of makes sense to him now.

Buck and Tommy went on a date, that's what Buck just told him. When he and Marisol saw them together at the restaurant the other day, they were on a date. With each other.

His brain goes into overdrive.

“Wait, Tommy's gay?”

All of his and Tommy's previous interactions are now running through his head as a flickering montage; some janky film reel spliced together in non-linear fashion. It makes him feel really shitty, re-assessing Tommy's behaviour just because of the guy's sexuality, but it's just—again, certain things are making sense now Eddie's brain has been supplied with this new information. Those bits and pieces of broken thoughts and half-notions he hadn't been able to make fit anywhere in his mind's eye, they're fusing together. Becoming viable. Stuff he'd willed himself not to ponder over now slotting into place.

“Uh, that never came up while you guys were hanging out?” Buck asks.

He tells Buck no, because it very much hadn't, and that it wouldn't have mattered to him anyway. Which of course it wouldn't, obviously, he just feels like his brain—or no, his body, maybe, had been trying to tell him something, tell him this, only Eddie hadn't listened.

Why hadn't he listened?

Then it hits him—kind of like a large shot of tequila hitting your stomach when you haven't put any food inside it for a while—that he is not at all surprised by the fact Buck went on a date with a man. Secondary is the thought that he doesn't know why he isn't taken aback by this lack of surprise.

“Sure. I—I don't think he volunteers it, but, uh, he doesn't hide it.”

He doesn't hide it.

Why does Eddie's chest feel tight?

Like an idiot, he attempts to confirm what Buck has already told him.

“So, you two were…”

“We were on a date. Yes.” Buck is smiling, and Eddie wants to hug him for how damn happy he looks about the whole thing, just as much as he wants to grab his friend's face in both hands and irrationally scream what is happening to us? until his voice is hoarse.

Whatever an out of body experience feels like, Eddie reckons it might be something akin to this. And he knows how dramatic he's being, he does, but he can't seem to stop—even if he is at a complete loss as to why.

“Okay.”

Eddie's nodding, only he doesn't really know what he's nodding at.

Buck asks, “Is that weird?”

At once, he insists, “No. Absolutely not,” even though he feels it is, for some reason, weird. Not because being queer is weird, because no, fuck no, of fucking course it isn't. Maybe it's just because of…

Because?

Why, exactly, Eddie has no clue.

He feels so, so lost.

The forest is a deep dark place, something hiding behind his ribcage mumbles before scuttling off to bury itself some place even further inside of his chest.

Is it Tommy specifically, he wonders, because he's Eddie's new sparring pal, and maybe now he won't be? He digs for a reason as to why that would bother him, but comes up empty handed.

And Tommy, he seems like a good guy.

Which is why Eddie is fairly perturbed when he pictures Tommy's face and it makes him wish he had the power of materialisation, to get the LAFD air support pilot to appear, here and now in Buck's kitchen, so he can sock the fucker in his stupid chiseled jaw with his best right hook, right in front of Buck.

Jesus, what the hell is wrong with him?

“I mean, I like him too.” He says, because he does. At least he did up until a minute ago. He weighs up his words as he's about to speak them, deciding to change his tone a little and aim for a more banter-ish vibe. “I mean, just not the same way you do, evidently.”

Buck wants to kiss Tommy. Maybe wants to fuck Tommy.

Eddie's mouth goes dry.

He simultaneously searches his mind and Buck's face, promising, “This doesn't change a thing between us. Okay?” And Eddie Diaz is a lying liar who lies, because for some reason he can't yet fathom, this changes everything.

Buck has this look, then. Almost something like—disappointment? 

Eddie doesn't know what that could mean. 

“Good. That's, uh, a relief,” Buck says, and he's nodding, just like Eddie was a moment ago. Eddie can't figure out the reason for that, either, nor why Buck doesn't seem to actually look relieved. 

Then he's going on to tell Eddie about how Tommy dumped him.

“Wow,” Eddie says, because what the fuck? Why would anybody let Evan Buckley slip though their fingers? It's honestly always been a mystery to him, how the women Buck has dated in the past have all dropped him at the first hurdle. Buck is kind of the perfect catch. Realising he doesn't quite know how to explain that to Buck, or himself, and knowing he has to come up with something, he finds himself making a joke of it with, “That's fast, even for you.”

Buck doesn't react to that at all, just says it doesn't matter anyway, seeing as he and Tommy weren't actually together, telling Eddie Tommy doesn't think Buck is ready.

Momentarily, Buck looks sort of broken. Shattered into a million pieces that Eddie wants to painstakingly pick up, one by one, so he can lovingly glue his friend back together and make him whole again. Maybe with gold paint, just like kintsugi. They'd seen and learned all about that at a Japanese exhibition over at the LACMA museum with Christopher a couple of years back, and Buck's wondrous awe at the practice—the way the blue of his eyes had reflected the jagged gold lines in the pottery, making them look like tiny planets in his head—had kind of really stuck with Eddie.

He has another fiercely protective desire to kick Kinard's perfectly muscled ass. The guy doesn't even know Buck. Not like Eddie does.

Another millisecond passes, and Eddie clocks that he's actually the asshole here, for making this all about him, even if he's not voicing any of his self-centred bullshit.

All at once, he desperately needs to know what Buck thinks about Tommy's assessment.

““Hmm,” he hedges. “What do you think?”

Buck is smiling again. Nothing like the sun, though, like the beaming smile Eddie knows he can pull from Buck's chest, the one that always makes Eddie think of that time he saw dawn breaking over Abalone Cove, just after he'd moved to L.A.

He shifts his weight a little on his stool.

Is that a weird thing to think?

Eddie's really fucking glad he has a beer in his hand, although he doesn't take a sip. He just grips the bottle a little tighter.

He's not ready to hear it when Buck answers, “I kinda can't stop thinking about him.”

He can't work out why his friend saying those words crushes him the way it does. Why he suddenly feels like punching more than just Kinard. Why he wants to burn the fucking world.

Is it maybe a similar thing to whatever Buck was feeling, after Eddie first started hanging out with Tommy?

Jealousy.

Eddie's a shitty friend sometimes, and has to constantly remind himself to do better. He sucks a breath in through his teeth, trying his damndest not to make it the huge gulp of air his lungs are, for some reason, craving.

“Well, you know what I think?” Eddie forces himself to look up at Buck to say something he really doesn't want to, because he knows it's the right thing to do. “You should call him.”

“Really?” Buck's still smiling, but his eyes are somehow telling Eddie he doesn't believe a single word Eddie is saying.

“Heck yeah. He doesn't know you're an idiot.” You're my idiot. “Once he gets to know you,”—I don't fucking want him to get to know you—“and know that you're an idiot, he'll love you, like we all do.” Like I do.

Santa mierda.

Buck smiles again and asks, a little sheepishly, “What if he says no?”

“Then he's an idiot,” Eddie answers with complete conviction, fiercely, meaning every word of it as much as he meant it when he told Buck you act like you are expendable, but you’re wrong; when he told Buck I forgive you; when he told Buck there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you. Eddie fixes him with a look he hopes conveys all of this, even though he knows it probably falls short. Then he adds—again, because he knows he should—“But don't walk away from something before you even know what it is,” and feels sick to his stomach as soon as the words have left his mouth.

Buck gives him a wry, knowing sort of smirk, points at Eddie and says, “That sounds like some good advice.”

It takes absolutely everything Eddie has to turn his train of thought around and force himself back into performance mode, feeling the phantom press of the towering trees that surround him and gasping with a suffocation that comes from being completely trapped in the thick of the forest he doesn't think he'll ever make his way out of.

He rolls his eyes, fake-sighs, and says, “Yeah,” adding a scoff for good measure. He tries hating on the smile Buck gifts him, the one which, honestly, looks a little forced, as Eddie lies some more and says, “I gotta talk to Marisol,” because he knows he doesn't have to; he's choosing to. He then pushes himself up and off Buck's kitchen stool even though it's the very last thing he wants to do.

Walking over to Buck's door with his heart inexplicably breaking, he hears Buck do this sort of laugh-sigh combination that Eddie's heard before. It's something Eddie does himself, a strange mix of self-consolation and for show, all rolled up into nervous release.

Eddie stops himself in his tracks, looks down at his phone, at Marisol's dozen-ish texts from the last twelve-or-so hours, and admonishes himself yet again for turning this huge moment of Buck's into something about himself. Only he can't seem to help but perpetuate the issue, because this somehow also feels very much about them; him and Buck.

Eddie is a selfish man, something his mother is still on a mission to make him acutely aware of, and he can't bear to leave without taking the thing he's wanted, he now recognises, since he walked into Buck's apartment around a half-hour back. After he'd gotten into his truck to escape the girlfriend he doesn't really want to be with and drove directly to the safest place he knows of on earth.

He feels only marginally better at being sure the closeness he craves is something Buck also wants.

As Eddie turns around, Buck's eyes shoot up at him with something threaded through his irises that looks a little like hope. Then it blooms over every brilliant feature of his face, and Eddie is overcome by two thoughts: The Abalone Cove-like knowledge that he thinks Buck is sort of beautiful, and a pressing desire to elicit this same look on Buck's face every single day for the rest of however many Eddie has left on this planet.

Fuck, he thinks retrospectively, walking towards the thing he now realises he wants more than anything he's ever wanted.

Buck.

Sliding his phone inside the back pocket of his jeans because he wants both hands for this, Eddie says, “C’mere,” beckoning his best friend over to him while thinking of Neodymium magnets Buck told him and Chris about a while back when Chris was working on that science project about gravity and other natural forces.

Buck is laughing as Eddie reiterates, saying, “Come here,” and Eddie takes and takes and takes, claiming another gift from Buck, one of much needed joviality, as he wills himself to double-down on the best buddy of it all because, yet again, he knows it's the right thing to do.

He reaches for Buck like a dying plant strains its leaves towards the sun, pulling Buck into him just as Buck reaches right back.

Eddie doesn't want to hug Buck. He wants to hold him. He knows he can't do that though, so reluctantly gives Buck's back a manly pat instead as he angles his head away from his friend in a move that feels entirely fucking wrong in each and every fibre of his being.

Cristo, Eddie is fucked.

What has happened here tonight?

Despite feeling like he's losing his mind, Eddie can't let go of Buck just yet. Forcing his body back, his hand moves of its own volition and finds its way home to the curve of Buck's shoulder, thumb being sucked into the dip beneath Buck's collar bone, and Eddie thinks of Neodymium magnets again.

He grins at Buck, and Buck smiles back with that same look of hope in his blue, blue eyes again, albeit a bit more distant now. And Eddie aches to give that hope to him, and more, because it somehow feels like it'd be the most natural thing in the world to do. Except he can't give Buck anything more than this. Not when Tommy presumably kissed Buck and Buck must've kissed Tommy back. Not when Eddie doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.

Despite what his mother tells him, some of which he knows to be true, Eddie isn't that selfish.

He pulls back to a safer distance, regardless of how it feels like the exact opposite, the reason he can't drag his hand away from Buck's person entirely, and swallows everything back down.

He points at Buck and says, “Call Tommy,” in a voice that sounds worryingly insincere to his ears.

After that, there is no way on earth, nor in heaven or hell, that he can look at Buck for longer than the single second he dares to allow himself, so he hightails it out of there before anything else can transpire in his chest, like the coward that he is.

He wonders for the entirety of the drive home about the sigh he heard leave Buck's lips as Eddie opened the loft door and left with the wish of a kiss on his own.

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Later on, with Marisol, after mutually agreeing to dial their relationship back to the start, he fucks her in his bed.

Eddie has another one of those imaginary out of body experiences as her thin, cold fingers roam his body and he tries not to think about circuit boards from high school science classes.

Set to zero. Forced-response.

Far from enjoyable, it doesn't feel a bit like the first couple of times they had sex, and he has to envisage boxes as he breathes his way through every excruciating part of it, his face a plastic mask of a smile wherever appropriate, making all the right sounds and all the right moves at what are hopefully all the right times and places.

Afterwards, with Marisol delicately snoring away and Eddie using the sound to keep time for his wrestled-down heartbeat, he looks away from the mass of dark hair piled on his chest to watch hers rise and fall; slowly, easily; the epitome of calm in her dreams.

He hopes, then, to fall asleep and dream of buying an axe so he can start chopping down trees and get himself the fuck out of the deep, dark forest he's only just noticed he's been living in his entire fucking life.

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on ao3 HERE if you'd like to come leave me some kudos and maybe even a comment ❤️

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[atrustfulplace]

looking at 911 and shows that queer bait makes me feel deranged. because like i’ve seen all the classic queer bait shows, some of which i ship (destiel), some of which i don’t (johnlock) and some i can go either way on (merlin/arthur). To me what makes me look at a story and decide whether i ship the characters is the question: would this make a better story if they were together? Usually i can see the straight explanation as possible but often i think it makes for a less intresting story. like dean could have had completely platonic feelings for cas and he just thought of him as a bestie, but the story and deans character become WAY more intresting if he was queer of some kind and in love with cas. Stuff that doesn’t have the same meaning for a straight person, can be world defining if the character is queer (ex: john having him kill the lesbian nuns). it’s that simple to me, destiel makes the story better.

now let’s look at 911, specifically eddie diaz. like i mentioned i can always see the straight explanation, stories can make sense without a character being queer, often they are just worse ones. eddie is my exception, i legitimately cannot see his story as anything other than that of a closeted gay man. like let’s take buck out of this, like the shipper goggles are off here, his and bucks relationship is fruity as fuck but it doesn’t even have to be counted to argue for a gay eddie.

like you have this character and he married the first woman he sleeps with because she gets pregnant and they are both catholic so they are pressured into marriage. he joins the army to get away from her and the responsibility. he would literally rather be SHOT AT than be married to his wife. when he finally gets back home he and his wife fight constantly, he will not give up the simplistic of things to support the needs of a woman who has put her life on hold for years so he could runaway from his family. she leaves, giving no phone number or address and the man is now a single father. years pass and they meet again, not because he wanted her in his life but because he needed her. she tells him that she’s pregnant again and he proposes to her again. she dies and he spends years using her as an excuse to no date women. (all the while growing incredibly close and co-dependent with his best friend who helps raise his child with him). when he finally starts dating again it is because everyone in his life is telling him he should, the relationship gets serious and when someone implies they have a serious future together he has a panic attack so bad he falls over and goes to the hospital. he breaks up with her because he was only dating her because his son loved her. again he spends years before dating again, saying when asked that why he isn’t dating is because his late wife was the love of his life, the woman who he spent LESS THAN A YEAR LIVING IN THE SAME SPACE WITH, WHO IN THAT TIME HE WOULD CONSTANTLY FIGHT WITH, but she was who he was meant to be with. ok eddie sure. when asked why he hates dates he says it’s because he has to pretend. he dates another woman after his family and friends pressure him again. he asks her to move in with him way to soon then quickly comes up with an excuse not to have sex with her, she moves out, they still date. he meets the carbon copy of his dead wife who he proceeds to have an emotional affair with, not physical at all, all his relationships implode from the fall out.

like this story doesn’t make sense for someone who is not gay. the pressure from the church, the denial about the realities of his marriage as an excuse not to date, HAVING A PANIC ATTACK WHEN HE THINKS ABOUT MARRYING A WOMAN, making exuses not to have sex. on its own maybe i could believe he is straight but together it literally does not make sense if he was. the stuff they add to make him seem more straight (dead wife obsession) is what convinces me the most that he is gay!!!!!

the funniest part is that if they actually made him gay they could have one of the most well written and authentic portrayals of deeply held internalized homophobia, repression, coming out later in life, and ultimately choosing happiness and love despite all of those challenges. like he makes me insane, i don’t even like him that much!!! like he’s tied with every other character on the show for me. but he confuses me in a way that none of the other characters come near touching. like eddie diaz I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!!!!

tld r: eddie diaz as a character does not make sense as anything other than as a closeted gay man.

[nostalgic-shamefest]

Buck didn't want Eddie to know he was on a date with a guy, not because he was scared Eddie was homophobic, but because he doesn't want Eddie to figure out what he's slowly coming to terms with.

That the way he feels about him isn't entirely platonic.

Until he talks with Maddie and then

THEN

he tells Eddie he was on a date with a guy, but exactly after that he tells him, "OH, and by the way!!!!! Got dumped!!! I'm single!!!!!!"

Buck is fully testing the waters. He's trying to suss Eddie out. He's literally squinting looking at him trying to pry anything out from his expressions. Trying to understand if what he feels and what he's starting to see their relationship was, is all him or if Eddie's also been in denial like he was.

And then Eddie hits him with the "this doesn't change a thing between us" and he looks DEVASTATED. He says I'm relieved in the most unconvincing tone. He looks miserable.

But it's not like the status quo of them has changed all that much. It's not like he said anything directly or confessed anything. So he pulls back swiftly and goes straight to tommy. And goes for him hard core. I mean he invites him on a second date to his sister's wedding!

Oh plus, my personal theory not backed by evidence, when he said "i kinda can't stop thinking about him" he was still gauging for Eddie's reaction. He just got fuckall. Cause Eddie gay panicked, looked sad for a second, sighed and then slid into friend mode with all his fucking might.

I mean hopefully Buck has recontextualised their relationship and he's not the only one pulling some gay shit. Cause if he's discovering himself, realising starring at dudes' asses was gay, then he sure as fuck has been rethinking some of their greatest hits.

So I think Buck fully knows he's into Eddie at the very least. Probably he's repressing hard core cause his half assed attempt lead nowhere. And he for sure has doubts about Eddie but probably tries not to think about it at all cause then that would destroy his repression.

Otherwise so many things make absolutely no sense, like:

- Why he was hesitant to tell specifically Eddie, even though he casually announced it to literally everyone else who is important in his life.

- His reaction to maddie saying if there's something, SOMETHING, never specified if it was about his sexuality, something he needed to tell eddie he would in his own time. To which Buck gives the most hopeful, giddy and stressed sigh. (Full on highschool crush behaviour, as he did the whole entire prior episode)

- His disappointed reaction to "this doesn't change a thing between us". Like if all he wanted to tell Eddie was that he's bi, that would have been a moment of elation. But nope.

- Him saying "i kinda can't stop thinking about him" with a shit eating grin.

- Him looking at Eddie leaving exactly the same way he looked at Tommy after he was kissed out of the closet.

[lover-of-mine]

Anna baby we got new stills!! I am very curious why so many of Buck's outfits have been brown. The flannel he's wearing in the loft??? Blue and red and brown??? I'm thinking they tell Buck Maddie is pregnant, and it gets Buck thinking about a family (adding to his already immense longing), add in the pictures on his fridge and he is so close to understanding what he wants! But anyway! What is with the brown????

Hello baby!! So, the brown. I was talking about the brown with @stagefoureddiediaz literally yesterday lol. But current theory is that they are playing with both the stability and growth attached to the color when put in a positive light and the sense of isolation when we put it in a negative light. Buck doesn't wear brown a lot pre-season 7, his neutral color is grey, but ever since he came out he has been in a grey/sepia scale. The only instances me and Kym could come up with at the top of our heads was when Chim kicks Buck out and he has to move back with Maddie and the grocery store fight.

It plays into movements in Buck's life he needs to figure out alone, in a sense. Only Buck can break his own patterns and using a color that's attached to both stability and growth, like who he is for Eddie in 710, and loneliness, the grocery store, is fun because only Buck can allow himself to grow, he needs to do this for himself

Brown was also very attached to Tommy, Buck hasn't worn any brighter colors, like he would do his blues and red in previous seasons, this season yet, except for his costume, and I think it also plays into the way Buck forces himself to be what his partner wants and fails to consider what chipping away pieces of himself will do to him, like the way Tommy doesn't know he doesn't like basketball or the way Buck never complained about the "Evan" thing or the way Buck didn't know Tommy is gay or was engaged before or all the tiny ways they showed us Buck and Tommy didn't really know each other. And that plays into the way Buck was dimming himself while trying to find himself in the relationship, while trying to make dating Tommy something transformative, especially because while doing that, he was negating parts of who he is.

The brown hoodie is the first time we are seeing Buck in plain brown too, he's usually in a pattern or a textured fabric, and the mopping around and the very obvious stress-baking on "faded" colors with Jee in a literal rainbow, probably leading Buck to talk to Maddie and Chim in the red and blue will be interesting if that's the correct sequence of events. Because it will allow Buck to start bringing that color back to his life.

He's back in his self-discovery blue and that red with Buck is attached to emotions, trying to get in the right direction when it comes to his feelings, like trying to let go of Abby, his speech about love, a few moments in 208, Buck, actually as a whole works for Buck to try and figure out his own feelings.

But he's not in the true red, so, as pointed out to me by Kym, it's almost as if he's locking himself. He's not ready to have the revelation yet, But he will be back in blue, that's a good step, he will probably work his way back to his blue, being in it when he's ready for Eddie.

I will taglist this one (interact with this post if you wanna get tagged)

@sparkedblaze @caw-salem @dreamofsomepiphany @100ceruleaneyes @linus-lucy @chaosqueery @gina-spike @chimchiminie98 @elvensorceress @singitforthegirls @dangerpronebuddie @182daysof @steadfastsaturnsrings @sparklespiff @inell @miles--to--go @jesuisici33 @wolfdeans @lunarsolar1 @joshwritesfics @glasscities @kejfeblintz @stagefoureddiediaz @mosaicstardust @eddiedisasterdiaz @hermioneindisguise @queerprincesseddiediaz @lookforanewangle @becausebuckley @lemotmo @thenainitaldisaster

@dingdongfries @angelcamael

[buddieisgoingcanon25]

There is no way Eddie’s current storyline isn’t going to lead into a sexuality arc…

Like, aside from Ryan admitting Eddie has repressed feelings, it all makes sense.

With Shannon, she was his best friend and they formed a connection of sorts. They went into a relationship by force, she got pregnant and married because of it. Eddie was never bothered or interested in her apart from the ‘connection’ and ‘bond’ they had built. He went to war to get away from her and he never had her back in anything. He loved the idea of being married to her but never said he loved her, Michael said the same thing about Athena. He loved being married to Athena and having his children but he is gay and therefore never loved her in that way, as Tim Minear recently said, Eddie has this romantisised and idealised version of what their future could have been together and what their past was eventhough their past was unhealthy and they were barely a married couple and their future weren’t going to happen because she wanted a divorce.

From the perspective of the show, not actresses. Ana and Marisol come across as the perfect partners, they are both nice, beautiful and they both seemed to be very good with Christopher, I mean they kinda have to be if they are looking after him loads. So…why does he not want to be with either of them and he’s purposely messing up his relationships with them? Because they aren’t Shannon. He doesn’t have the same connection with them that he had with her, it’s always spoken about how he wants a mother-figure for christopher but never that he wants a partner. So, when he gets this ready-made family, he has panic attacks because he actually isn’t ready for it and messes it up. Breaking up with Ana because it’s got too serious and then moving Marisol out the same day she moves in. He has a habit of not spending time with his girlfriends but using them often to look after Christopher. A mother figure for Chris but not a partner for him.

As I said, they aren’t Shannon which is why he feels this way. But even then his relationship with Shannon wasn’t that great either so why is he trying to find it again? It’s the only ‘connection’ he’s ever known, or so he thinks, it’s the only thing that he’s experienced and had nothing to compare it to because he hasn’t formed any other connections like that since Shannon. From his perspective that is. He’s never been ‘in love’ and he doesn’t know what that feels like the only thing he thinks is that he was in love with Shannon and that is what love must be, ar least it’s the closest thing he’s ever had to being in love with someone that he’s doing everything he can to find that again which is why he was so quick to cheat on Marisol with Shannon’s lookalike. Delusion and Desperation.

I feel he’ll slowly start to realise that her lookalike may look like her but won’t end up being the ‘same’ as her. Devin said that the lookalike is going to meet Buck at some point who mentions that she isn’t Shannon in terms of her body language and personality etc and I feel like Eddie will end up realising that it’s true and once he ends up out of his state of delusion he’ll truely feel alone. He can’t have Shannon or her look-alike, he won’t have Marisol anymore because…he cheated amd he’ll realise he doesn’t need that mother figure for Chris…then what. He’ll struggle and push everyone away because everything that’s happened is all he’s ever known. He literally started a family from a young age. Then his sexuality arc will start and he’ll end up realising why all this has happened….because he never loved any of them in a way he was suppose to. But why?……

Ryan said s8 will a refresh button for him and will have a few bombshells and that Eddie will have a new lifestyles that will go into uncharted waters.

I love your thoughts anon. I wish I could right down mine as good as yours.

[sickofthistoxicshit]

Based on the shows history with Eddie, I’m not expecting the Abuela and Shannon pop ups to do anything more then propel him into the find new wife for himself and new mother for Chris mission successful. Especially with Edy still on set and them almost being done with the season. Why bother going for a better story when a lazy makes no sense hetero story will do just fine. It’s their specialty when it comes to Eddie after all. Plus They already got that extra queer rep with Buck and Tommy 🙃

Yeah, *sigh* I feel the same on the Eddie front.

God forbid the talent that is Ryan will get a worthy story when we get two white dudes getting the interesting storylines.

I mean, much as love Buck being thrown into curious situations, I am getting tired of the storylines Eddie keep getting, because that's always more of the same, and that's exhausting.

If they weren't going to invest in his story they could have tied him to the first gf he had - being the serial monogamist that he is - and have his storyline revolve around domestic problems, new babies and managing that with work - at least we'd be clear of what his essence is aside from loving Buck like they've been married and intimate for years.

They had that queer rep with Henren and David and Michael - which WAS a great rep and such a well written relationship! I miss them and Michael's interactions with Bobby are sorely missing as well.

I don't think that Buck's storyline is as happy and healthy as ppl make it to be, Tommy literally left him for feeling uncomfortable and fibbing in front of his best friend because he's newly minted out of the closet and maybe he wanted to figure this out by himself first before sharing it with the people closest to him?

Tommy had no right to get upset, and if he wasn't sure of them, he shouldn't have agreed to go to that wedding with Buck, he should have said that he understands where Buck is coming from and to take this slow and that there is no pressure - and maybe keep this friendly until they figure out what they want to be together.

Buck, it felt to me, that has done what he did, the chasing that he said he wouldn't do, because in a certain way he is still in a place where he pleases people even though it is his journey to make and no one should push him to get to that finish line as fast as possible.

Like I said before this is more of the same, Buck does this chasing because like Taylor said, and not in a kind way mind you, that he can't stand not being liked by everyone.

Eddie nudging him to call tommy wasn't exactly the best thing either, because would Buck have still done it if he wasn't told to?

A lot of things don't sit well with me in this story, I've made journeys with my friends when they first came out, one as early as the seventh grade, it is not something that becomes normal immediately, I also saw after the fact what happened when one is shoved out of the closet to his family and friends by force. And how my best friend still bears the guilt of being gay almost 20+years later because that's not how he was raised, and his father didn't accept him, and his first serious boyfriend was a demanding asshole.

He didn't seem like this to us, he was friendly and seemed like a really good guy, but neither one of us knew what really happened there until my friend opened up about it years later.

So when I say Buck's story feels rushed, I talk from experience.

So maybe we have queer rep (which we had before only it wasn't bi) but it doesn't feel like quite there to me, maybe it's the flawed writing, maybe that's the way it was intended to be told to get to some kind of turning point and epiphanies, who knows? I've learned not to expect higher purpose from this show.

I will tell you that though, if the whole Eddie story is to push him to somehow marry M I will retire from this show, I mean that is the laziest form of writing there is, and makes this show completely unwatchable for me, because there is no way we were dragged 7 seasons just so that Eddie can force marry some lukewarm LI out of the need to follow the traditional hetero normative need he was raised into.

Especially since originally Eddie was the one who was supposed to be the coming out story, it would be disappointing on so many levels and I'm not even touching buddie here.

Ryan deserves better than to end with that kind of crappy story-telling.

[thestobingirlie]

I feel like you will understand some very specific gripe I have with a few Steddie fics.

1. When people take the Stobin bathroom scene and make it about Eddie. It makes me want to tear my hair out. The whole perfect thing about the bathroom scene is the Steve is into Robin, tells her, and then reacts in the best way possible when Robin tells him that she’s a lesbian and therefore can’t be attracted to him. And instead of being an asshole, Steve immediately pivots to making Robin feel accepted in his goofy way. I hate it when people rewrite it to be Eddie that Steve is confessing about :(

2. When Steve is genderbent but only so Eddie can be straight and Steve can be a self-insert. Like if Steve was always a girl, Robin would absolutely have been obsessed with girlSteve over Tammy and Steve had a crush on Robin in canon like in point one, so why wouldn’t they be dating?? I could understand if the authors wrote it that Stobin tried to date, but figured out they were better as friends, but usually Robin is almost totally forgotten in fics like that.

3. This is kinda like point 2, but when Steve is trans fem in fics just so Eddie has a girlfriend again. My favorite trans fem Steve fic is one where Robin is figuring out that she has a crush on Steve while Steve is figuring out that his gender is different, and is honestly more nonbinary than trans fem in the but it’s just so good in my opinion. It doesn’t make sense when people fuck with Steve’s gender but leave his relationship with Robin the same? It just makes no sense in my brain.

anyone making the bathroom scene about characters other than robin are not seeing heaven. that is a stobin moment, and that is robin’s coming out. (i also just don’t see the point in it!!! that’s the way she would come out not anybody else. just be creative!!! that’s the point of fanfiction!!!)

i think with stevie, what’s happening is that people are deathly afraid of getting accused of shipping stobin, so run in the opposite direction when it comes to transfem, or genderbent steve. i mean, steve in canon had a crush on robin, was and/or is (depending on how you interpret it) attracted to robin. and if stevie’s around, i don’t see why robin wouldn’t find her hot, or want to date her etc.

also, this is kind of a different complaint, but so much transfem stevie content is literally just about her gay boyfriend (it is always stressed that he is gay and has never been attracted to women), and i hate it lol. i’m here for HER

[buckgettingstruck]

https://www.tumblr.com/buckgettingstruck/756191320359534592/can-we-talk-about-ryan-using-the-word-hetero-for?source=share

I want to know your thoughts about Ryan using heterosexual male in interviews when talking about the coming out scene. The BTs love using this as Ryan “forcing” 911 or “confirming” that he wants Eddie to remain straight. 🙄 My view on those interviews was how he handled someone close to him coming out and wanting to use that as inspiration for the scene and it had nothing to do with Eddie’s sexuality, the future of the character, and Ryan “confirming” that he doesn't want to play gay.

oh god i didnt even remember that. i agree with you but answer under the cut because i got crazy:

but considering the 7x05 plot for eddie was about him and marisol outside of buck’s coming out stuff then i think what i said before still applies. hes dating a woman in that episode and has only dated women, so hes not really wrong to say it since theyre pushing that plotline 🤷‍♀️

(also i do wanna say dating women doesnt mean hes not queer but that was how he was being portrayed. so far eddie has only dated women. im a queer woman dont even start. btw this disclaimer isnt aimed at you anon 🫶)

also to our knowledge at least ryan is straight so it’d make sense for him to come at the scene from his own experiences of being a straight man who has queer friends. using their experiences is just a technique a lot of actors use. now of course he was given direction in the script and by the director so some of his facial expressions about certain things buck says are… interesting (which ive already expressed my opinions on like literally why did they do all that butni digress) but ULTIMATELY that’s how ryan came at the scene. the main goal was to get across that eddie would always be supportive of buck. ryan was supportive to his friend in his personal life so thats how he approached the scene.

ANYWAY. this horse has been beaten to death and then some at this point but im annoying and need to defend my guy who plays my favorite guy. i do not understand the rhetoric that ryan doesn’t want to play eddie as a queer character. ryan has played a gay character before and ryan has been supportive of buddie for years. like im pretty sure they didnt let him do interviews for a few seasons because he said something about eddie replacing abby in buck’s life and fox didnt want that 😭 he has also said in these interviews where he’s called eddie hetero that if the story were to go the buddie route he’d be down for it. if he wasnt they wouldnt even let the journalists ask the question.

RYAN ALSO SAID. BY THE WAY. THAT THEY WERENT SURE WHO BETWEEN HIM AND OLIVER WOULD GET THE QUEER ARC THIS SEASON. HE SAID THAT IN AN INTERVIEW. WHERE THE JOURNALIST ASKED ABOUT THE EDDIETOMMY STUFF LOU MENTIONED. IF RYAN WASNT OKAY WITH IT THEY WOULDNT ASK.

like ultimately i do think any time ryan has referred to eddie as hetero its just abc telling him to say that in interviews. like he’s a very eloquently spoken guy and in those interviews he’s come off more stilted to me. more rehearsed. but im also not a psychologist so maybe im reading this wrong