#EVERY PAGE THAT I WROTE YOU WERE ON IT
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georgianadarcies · 5 months ago
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taylor swift reads my diary confirmed
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chocolatecake47 · 5 months ago
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it's a pain that I caught you at a bad time it's a shame that I memorized your outline you were straight up with me you were so kind but I knew what you knew honey great minds it was harsh cause I lost what I wanted I was brave when I kissed you in London we're collateral here man we got hit hope you find somewhere safe for your baggage EVERY PAGE THAT I WROTE YOU WERE ON IT FEEL YOU DEEP IN MY BONES YOU'RE THE CURRENT and I showed no restraint it was something I was scared until you made me love it
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rorotherainbow · 21 days ago
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02.09.2024
volé a tu país, cogí un tren a tu casa, encontré a tu papá, fue casual ? supongo que fue. pensé que esta vez sería diferente. pensé que nos manteneríamos en contacto y seríamos amigos, o que al menos jugaríamos a fingir. de todas modas no podría jugar a fingir mucho tiempo. jugando a fingir cuando todo lo que quiero es ser tuya. Ahora es el mes de tu cumpleaños, espero que estas disfrutando los últimos días de verano. tan triste que ya no hablamos. no sé si quiero nunca volver a saber de ti, o mirarte vivir tu vida desde lejos. lo mejor sería compartir la eternidad contigo pero los dos sabemos que no podemos. y aunque podríamos realmente no creo que querías eso. porque seamos honestos, no nos agarramos a eso de la misma manera. Me pregunto si la última vez que nos vimos realmente fue la última. espero que no. mientras tanto estoy escribiéndote cartas que no puedo mandar.
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clarabowmp3 · 1 month ago
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ITS HAPPENINGGGG
the build up of free now >>>>>>>>>>>>>
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bauliya · 4 months ago
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i really think this was the novel that birthed ecocriticism like my god. 1851. 1851!
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flying-cat · 2 months ago
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bnha ending so bad that i might start writing my second ever longfic
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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— Emperor Charles VI's diary entry on Count Althann's death
[text: "My only heart, my comfort, my most faithful servant, my soulmate, who loved me dearly as I did him for 19 years, [we] had a true friendship, we were one heart and one soul, and we never concealed anything from one another. He will always be in my heart, [my] beloved friend..I. have lost everything."]
#this is like. incredibly niche.#but also hopefully a quote one can look at without context and still feel emotional damage about#idk. i think about this quote probably at least once a week and then have to stare at it and cry a bit#its just GOD. yknow??????#theres this one paper(which i linked) that i originally read as research for the AU#but i go back to it probably twice a month to reread it bcs im so !!!! abt it#i think its cause charles vi is just not that relevant but is relevant to me so to have this paper abt his personal relationships is very !#its both nice as ref for the au but also very interesting to hear about historical queer relationships/dynamics#the sections about him and his wife are very endearing as well#but god like him and count althann. im literally so invested in this 300 year old relationship#this is obviously from his death which is incredibly depressing and heart wrenching to me#but the other things he wrote about althann in his diary are very sweet to me#they were inseparable to the point of often sleeping in the same bed and charles called him his 'eternal love'#AND ON ALTHANN'S DE WIKIPEDIA PAGE IT LITERALLY CALLS HIM THE EMPEROR'S FAVORITE#anyways literally every part of this quote absolutely destroys me but especially how he refers to althann and then the ending#and its interesting to me bcs apparently his diary entries were usually pretty to the point#but when various people in his as althann died he would write these extremely emotional entries that are so </3#if you have any questions abt their dynamic pls i will talk abt them 🥰🥰 i find it fascinating#theres a book about his diary but its in german and 500 pages and kinda hard to get hold in but maybe one day!!!#also in AU contexts: althann and charles vi would be mark and seb so take that as you will 🤭😭#as i said this is great for ref but also made me sooooo fucking invested in him#i have no idea how to tag this#historical#holy roman empire#emperor charles vi#catie.rambling.txt#historical quotes#habsburg#habsburg monarchy#ah wow if only my german prof could see me now. fucking...habsburg posting. why am i like this
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cuntwrap--supreme · 5 months ago
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Someone's tiny child drew a Something and they put it in their box saying the kid drew it for me. Which is cute, I guess. My mom did stuff like this when I was a small child who was obsessed with the arrival of mail. It's in the route's case to be immortalized forever.
Now to figure out how to read the drawing so I can find what I assume is treasure beyond my wildest imagination.
#girl if this isn't a treasure map i don't know what is#Lucas knows something i don't know. but he's three so he can't tell me in words.#i just have to interpret the drawing. somehow. at least it's color coded. that helps.#the back of the page says something about how he asks where the mail is every day#she wrote that he watches for my truck but they're in the woods so i know they can't see me approach#maybe she meant he listens for the truck. it's definitely loud enough to hear from a ways away.#whatever the case. little guy tried.#i always keep drawings from kids. even though i don't like kids. there's just something raw about what they draw.#no talent. no knowledge of fundamentals. but also no fear of being cringe or failing. just vibes.#i have so many things my brother and sister drew as little littles in a drawer with my art stuff and my sister wants me to toss it all#like. no dude. you drew a 'flower' when you were 4 and I'll have it until that paper crumbles to dust.#it's from a time before you could do anything to show you appreciate the people in your life in the same way you can now#a time when a shitty drawing was the best way to say 'hey. we're cool. i appreciate your presence'#i have one from my brother from when i broke up with my hogh school boyfriend that's a transformer (i think?)#and it says - in kid spelling - i hope you aren't so sad soon#like. he was 5 or 6 when he made that. guy didn't know what i was going through. he just wanted me to feel better.#something something humans find a way to communicate with one another despite language barriers and shit
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jrueships · 1 year ago
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getting told my professional emails are like fun bedtime stories that get reread & reread& reread by the people i send them to bcs they're always apparently very long(😦😦😦😦), humorous(?!?!??), charming(??), & never have a sequel bcs i do not respond after sending one 😦
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narcissusneverknewme · 2 months ago
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It was well worth your efforts!
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#your words make me believe in the drafting process#If I were the type bold enough to wear logos of bands I don't listen to#I would be fighting the urge to print this on metal & hang it in my home.#red background was the right choice. reconfirmed when I opened it from my notes. 😍 oh the red.#and balanced out with the red on sasuke's back#which also makes your eye travel the whole image.#it was so interesting to read what you said about the designing of it#the hair is pretty well overshadowed by the red#the ruddy hands really grab.#and then the orange cuff. and then the dandelion hair.#yhe process is also interesting to hear about bc the viewer knows who it is before you see the hair; the hair just comes as kind of a punch#maybe that's why it's sort of gutting?#we are immediately sure of sasuke and so we believe it's naruto for a moment before we really know for sure? except we did know.#iconography#agh and the emotionality of the hands. the light#the light. on the hands and the hair.#idk I just think the design of this is amazing. to balance of everything in it to create the feeling#sorry waxing less-than-poetic in the tags again#in my defense I'm on mobile. I can only see the last four tags I wrote at any one time#i even left it in my drafts forever bc I kept promising myself when I came back to it I would have calmed down#but I haven't so instead of deleting these tags I keep adding#anyway love this#so bold. so arresting#the red! on the hands!#sorry literally every time I think I'm done I close the tag editor (I'm on mobile)#but then I see the image again and I feel like screaming some more#so I do#and now there is like a page of me screaming in these tags#DUDE! THE HANDS!#the feeling of this is just too much. too good
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novanhistorian · 5 months ago
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Every day I must act normal despite knowing how the contrast between Memphis’s and Sana’s views of authority all traces back to how they see the same quasi-omniscient system exploited and by whom.
#🪪 Memphis Mylera#🪪 Sana Staravya#⌚ second imperial civil war#===========================================#context because I have been a very poor loreposter:#M & S were raised in the same cadet center (a state orphanage that rears children to be military officers and/or sewage administrators)#(the imperial definition of “military” is /weird/)#it’s not terrible quality-of-life-wise but it comes with there literally being eyes in the walls at all times#they’re not always actively watching you but if you do something wrong you can bet your tail they’ll find out#discipline is handled by an impersonal system that visibly runs on paperwork#cadets are raised reciting “proverbs” that are things like advice on how to lead and counsels on the value of loyalty#this all ingrains it into them that the government/military is omniscient and omnipotent#and Sana escapes this and gets adopted by rebels#(and more importantly by flagrantly-lawbreaking rich people who forge her an identity without a second thought)#Memphis can’t and has basically the worst possible career where she falls through every crack and is chewed up by every gear in the machine#the only person she sees break the system is literally its god -- Presiding Imperator Cassius Banneker#(I swear to God that at the end of the day he’s a good person but man does he do some bad things)#their views come out almost polar opposites and /boy/ does it explode when they finally get to talk about them#----------------------------------------------------------------------#I wrote ten pages of analysis on this a few months back so I won’t spoil the rest#🪪 Cassius Banneker#(tangentially)#arguably I should also cite the Keplers but I don't explicitly namedrop them#nor do I describe them very well#I’ll have to do a post properly explaining their weird social class (that I just dismissed as “rich people” here)#it has no easy earth analogy (yet; I think an approximation may develop) so that may take a while
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georgianadarcies · 7 months ago
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the freedom from telling him was so temporary. the second I had to be around him again I felt like I was trapped again
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why-animals-do-the-thing · 6 months ago
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average United States contains 1000s of pet tigers in backyards" factoid actualy [sic] just statistical error. average person has 0 tigers on property. Activist Georg, who lives the U.S. Capitol & makes up over 10,000 each day, has purposefully been spreading disinformation adn [sic] should not have been counted
I have a big mad today, folks. It's a really frustrating one, because years worth of work has been validated... but the reason for that fucking sucks.
For almost a decade, I've been trying to fact-check the claim that there "are 10,000 to 20,000 pet tigers/big cats in backyards in the United States." I talked to zoo, sanctuary, and private cat people; I looked at legislation, regulation, attack/death/escape incident rates; I read everything I could get my hands on. None of it made sense. None of it lined up. I couldn't find data supporting anything like the population of pet cats being alleged to exist. Some of you might remember the series I published on those findings from 2018 or so under the hashtag #CrouchingTigerHiddenData. I've continued to work on it in the six years since, including publishing a peer reviewed study that counted all the non-pet big cats in the US (because even though they're regulated, apparently nobody bothered to keep track of those either).
I spent years of my life obsessing over that statistic because it was being used to push for new federal legislation that, while well intentioned, contained language that would, and has, created real problems for ethical facilities that have big cats. I wrote a comprehensive - 35 page! - analysis of the issues with the then-current version of the Big Cat Public Safety Act in 2020. When the bill was first introduced to Congress in 2013, a lot of groups promoted it by fear mongering: there's so many pet tigers! they could be hidden around every corner! they could escape and attack you! they could come out of nowhere and eat your children!! Tiger King exposed the masses to the idea of "thousands of abused backyard big cats": as a result the messaging around the bill shifted to being welfare-focused, and the law passed in 2022.
The Big Cat Public Safety Act created a registry, and anyone who owned a private cat and wanted to keep it had to join. If they did, they could keep the animal until it passed, as long as they followed certain strictures (no getting more, no public contact, etc). Don’t register and get caught? Cat is seized and major punishment for you. Registering is therefore highly incentivized. That registry closed in June of 2023, and you can now get that registration data via a Freedom of Information Act request.
Guess how many pet big cats were registered in the whole country?
97.
Not tens of thousands. Not thousands. Not even triple digits. 97.
And that isn't even the right number! Ten USDA licensed facilities registered erroneously. That accounts for 55 of 97 animals. Which leaves us with 42 pet big cats, of all species, in the entire country.
Now, I know that not everyone may have registered. There's probably someone living deep in the woods somewhere with their illegal pet cougar, and there's been at least one random person in Texas arrested for trying to sell a cub since the law passed. But - and here's the big thing - even if there are ten times as many hidden cats than people who registered them - that's nowhere near ten thousand animals. Obviously, I had some questions.
Guess what? Turns out, this is because it was never real. That huge number never had data behind it, wasn't likely to be accurate, and the advocacy groups using that statistic to fearmonger and drive their agenda knew it... and didn't see a problem with that.
Allow me to introduce you to an article published last week.
This article is good. (Full disclose, I'm quoted in it). It's comprehensive and fairly written, and they did their due diligence reporting and fact-checking the piece. They talked to a lot of people on all sides of the story.
But thing that really gets me?
Multiple representatives from major advocacy organizations who worked on the Big Cat Publix Safety Act told the reporter that they knew the statistics they were quoting weren't real. And that they don't care. The end justifies the means, the good guys won over the bad guys, that's just how lobbying works after all. They're so blase about it, it makes my stomach hurt. Let me pull some excerpts from the quotes.
"Whatever the true number, nearly everyone in the debate acknowledges a disparity between the actual census and the figures cited by lawmakers. “The 20,000 number is not real,” said Bill Nimmo, founder of Tigers in America. (...) For his part, Nimmo at Tigers in America sees the exaggerated figure as part of the political process. Prior to the passage of the bill, he said, businesses that exhibited and bred big cats juiced the numbers, too. (...) “I’m not justifying the hyperbolic 20,000,” Nimmo said. “In the world of comparing hyperbole, the good guys won this one.”
"Michelle Sinnott, director and counsel for captive animal law enforcement at the PETA Foundation, emphasized that the law accomplished what it was set out to do. (...) Specific numbers are not what really matter, she said: “Whether there’s one big cat in a private home or whether there’s 10,000 big cats in a private home, the underlying problem of industry is still there.”"
I have no problem with a law ending the private ownership of big cats, and with ending cub petting practices. What I do have a problem with is that these organizations purposefully spread disinformation for years in order to push for it. By their own admission, they repeatedly and intentionally promoted false statistics within Congress. For a decade.
No wonder it never made sense. No wonder no matter where I looked, I couldn't figure out how any of these groups got those numbers, why there was never any data to back any of the claims up, why everything I learned seemed to actively contradict it. It was never real. These people decided the truth didn't matter. They knew they had no proof, couldn't verify their shocking numbers... and they decided that was fine, if it achieved the end they wanted.
So members of the public - probably like you, reading this - and legislators who care about big cats and want to see legislation exist to protect them? They got played, got fed false information through a TV show designed to tug at heartstrings, and it got a law through Congress that's causing real problems for ethical captive big cat management. The 20,000 pet cat number was too sexy - too much of a crisis - for anyone to want to look past it and check that the language of the law wouldn't mess things up up for good zoos and sanctuaries. Whoops! At least the "bad guys" lost, right? (The problems are covered somewhat in the article linked, and I'll go into more details in a future post. You can also read my analysis from 2020, linked up top.)
Now, I know. Something something something facts don't matter this much in our post-truth era, stop caring so much, that's just how politics work, etc. I’m sorry, but no. Absolutely not.
Laws that will impact the welfare of living animals must be crafted carefully, thoughtfully, and precisely in order to ensure they achieve their goals without accidental negative impacts. We have a duty of care to ensure that. And in this case, the law also impacts reservoir populations for critically endangered species! We can't get those back if we mess them up. So maybe, just maybe, if legislators hadn't been so focused on all those alleged pet cats, the bill could have been written narrowly and precisely.
But the minutiae of regulatory impacts aren't sexy, and tiger abuse and TV shows about terrible people are. We all got misled, and now we're here, and the animals in good facilities are already paying for it.
I don't have a conclusion. I'm just mad. The public deserves to know the truth about animal legislation they're voting for, and I hope we all call on our legislators in the future to be far more critical of the data they get fed.
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rorotherainbow · 1 month ago
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28.08.2024
volé a tu país, tu ciudad, te divertiste y me dejaste con la palabra en la boca. sé que todo es culpa mía porque nunca debí haber corrido detrás de ti esta noche. no sabía lo que hacía, pues que se supone que tenía que haber hecho? dejarte solo ? si. me habría ahorrado muchos problemas. aunque no podríamos estar juntos nos dijimos que quedaríamos amigos, pero actualmente no estás actuando como uno (amigo) ahora, y nunca lo hiciste para ser honesta. quiero cortar lazos contigo no importa que me destroce. quiero sacarte de mi vida porque sé que merezco más y sé que no vamos a tener el final feliz que quiero. no solo porque quizás no lo quieres, sino también porque no podemos tenerlo. y lo supimos desde el principio, pues porque continuamos ? tu indiferencia y despreocupación me dejan agotada. hablar contigo se ha vuelto aburrido. tu cumpleaños está cerca y no quiero felicitarte, es infantil lo sé pero qué puedo hacer, parecer como la chica romántica incurable, pegajosa, swiftie que soy ?? no. ya no más. no enfrente de ti. planeé regalos para ti, supongo que ninguno de los dos vamos a verlos. realmente no te conozco y tú tampoco, solamente somos dos jóvenes de diferentes países que confundimos amor en el extranjero con lujuria. o tal vez soy la única que cometió este error. y eso apesta. porque podría amarte pero no va a cambiar nada. dijiste que habríamos funcionado a pesar de nuestras diferencias pero no te creo. no eres mi amigo. no sé nada sobre ti y no confío en ti. ¿qué se supone que debo hacer con un amigo en el que no confío? en el futuro que he planeado los cuatro somos aún amigos y estáis invitados a mi boda. y cuando envejeciéramos contamos a nuestros hijos como nos conocimos y lo importante y mágica que es esta amistad para nosotros. Pero esta amistad no es importante ni mágica para nadie más que para mí. De hecho, no hay amistad en esto.
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kuiinncedes · 1 year ago
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i complaining :c
#bro how these ppl know how to do all the stats analysis and stats report like a proper fucking paper like where the fuck#i didn't learn this in these classes granted i suck at stats classes#but still like what the fuck#this guy in my group just wrote a whole 13 page report by himself for our group project#and not even like necessarily for the project#bc it doesn't follow all the guidelines for the project he said so i was just like#the fuck did you write this shit for fun fucking please#i wanna rant so much abt it ugh#bc like this fucking guy didn't say anythign about working on it at all#liek we were all kinda afk over break and didn't do anything but he just wrote the entire report#but he could've fucking said somehting like im gonna work on it does anypone wanna join or help or smth#lmfao i'm mad ;-; bc like yeah we procrastinated so this is kinda a big help but like still fucking BRO#we also need to put teaam members contributions in the paper and the rest of us are just like editing his report to make it shorter#and fit better within the guidelines bro i don't fucking know i don't even know how to do any of this shit bc i fucking suck at stats#so like part of me is grateful that he just fucking finished it for no reason but ugh#like idk if the instructors are gonna be suspicious of it if the whole thing is written in the same exact style#like idk anything ugh i dont like this class :c#it would've been a higher workload but part of me wishes i took the computer science dept equivalent of this class TT#bc i hate the stats department and i fucking love the cs department bro#every cs class i've taken is so good they're hard as shit but doably hard and rewarding#stats classes i just get lost bro#:))))))))))))#anyway time to keep#trying to edit this methods section#of methods that i don't know how to use at all#:DDDDDDDDD fuck me man kasjnfgbfhdgludfgioquerhgi#why the fuck am i a data science major#jeanne talks#no bc this stuff is interesting ;-; but (maybe i'm just blaming my own bad skills/work habits on the department LOL but)#the classes suck :c i could keep going but out of tags LMFAO bye chatgpt save me
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yougavememyopia · 1 month ago
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18+ NSFW, but it's clothed, sub yandere, mean reader, he falls between your legs and y'know, "master," degradation
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Clumsy yandere, who constantly looked at you with lovesick eyes. Following you everywhere and basically worshipping the ground you walked on. Every item that you touched was sacred, added to his little shrine. Every angle of you was a picture in his poorly made scrapbook.
He'd accidentally bump his drink into random nobodies while he was busy trying to get a sniff of your divine scent. Frustrated that his clumsiness led him to losing sight of your fleeting figure.
You tried your best to ignore him. The loud thud of him falling over objects or his small "oof" when he bumped into walls never went unnoticed by you.
He'd instinctively apologize to the inanimate articles and walk away awkwardly. Ashamed of the attention he drew to himself.
You finally decided to confront him, getting tired of watching him trip over his shoelaces and timidly fleeing the scene. "What's the matter with you, huh? Why are you such a fucking klutz?"
He had no idea how to answer that. It was as if he was cursed to be so uncordinated ever since he was born. He chuckled and shrugged you off with a joke about bad luck. Hand brushing against yours while you helped him up. He had never felt so warm— his cheeks flushed scarlet as a heat wave traveled through his body, building awkward sweat.
You didn't understand how you managed to make his knees buckle with your mere presence. He'd trip over nothing, ending up injured at your feet. Looking up at you with glistened eyes and a dumb smile. It took everything in you to not step on his pitiful face.
"Guess you could say... I, uh, fell for you?" His laughter triggered another eye roll from you. It was truly pathetic how he thought that he could win you over one day. After all, his luck was bad. Very, very bad.
He kept getting caught by you doing the most unhinged things. Sniffing your dirty laundry. Stealing your useless trash. Lurking around your place at strange times.
Denying the truth from you always got him nowhere, so he'd try to confess over and over of how much he loved the little things about you. Sounding incoherent as he stumbled and jumped between words.
"I just can't– s-staying away from you is like– I mean, I am so sorry for everything, master. N-no, wait, I... I didn't mean to say that–"
Loud drums of his heartbeat banged in his ear every time your eyes met. The repulsed look on your face making his stomach twist with glee. You were looking at him. Paying attention to him. He didn't deserve any of it. He truly didn't.
“I didn't do anything terrible this time! Just stole your straw. Is that bad?" He'd say in an ashamed voice— head down, eyes studying the ground. His sweaty, shaky fingers fiddled with each other as he waited for your verdict.
You forced him to throw the object in the bin. He felt orgasmic as you lectured him about his creepy behavior. The pure displeased look on your face giving him a high. Only if you knew the thoughts going on his head, you'd slap him without hesitation.
He had a detailed diary about all the little things about you that he loved. Each physical and personality characteristic was intricated in unusually specific details. Of course, his terrible curse led him to accidentally lose it at your place the first time he broke in.
Not only did he get an injury collapsing on your floor— running away when he heard your security system— but he also exposed you to his most disturbing private thoughts.
Pages and pages of your name and doodled hearts. I love you's and perverted fantasies written all over. Scribbles of how he wanted to carve your name into his skin with a knife. Feel you inside his veins. Finally belong to you and only you~♡.
You were disgusted. Particularly grossed out (and a bit turned on) at all the sexual positions he wrote about. The shameless smut written like he had already experienced it. Most of it about rough punishment that made your mouth agape.
No matter how hard you tried to avoid him after that, he was always there. With a weary expression and a bruised body. His fearful gaze had changed to something cloudy and crazed. Like at any point, he would break.
The tension between you grew each day, and so you invited him over to talk. Feeling the need to do something about the lustful glances exchanged.
Then he did it again— ruined everything with his clumsiness. He brought over a drugged drink. Your favorite flavor with an addition of something that'll aid in kidnapping. Before he could hand you it over, he collapsed on you. The cup spilled and flooded the ground, turning the tiles slippery.
When you opened your eyes, you found yourself to be okay. Sighing relief as no weird cliché kissing moment happened. Instead, warm breaths fanned your thighs. The clumsy yandere faced with a sight he had only imagined.
Your smell flooded his nose, and his eyes shut in ecstasy. He felt as if this was the best thing that could ever happen to him. Happy that his luck led him to the source of your scent. Moaning loudly without intent.
"I-I'm so sorry-" You could barely hear his muffle words, the vibration of his voice sending shivers right through you. Your thoughts unclear with the feeling of his mouth moving on your crotch. "S-so sorry."
"Nngh—" You let out a noise from the simulation. He wanted to move away but found himself unable to find the strength to. Your mind became hazy. A hand reaching down to hold his head there, earning a small whimper from him. "You... already made a fool of yourself. Use that mouth for something better and show me how sorry you are."
"...really? T-thank you! Thank you so much." That was all he needed to stop hesitantkng and create a wet stain on the fabric of your front. Whining each time his tongue felt a little bit of your private through the pants. He wanted nothing more than to rip your clothes off and taste you. "Please... please give me a chance to worship you like you deserve it. Keep me as a toy to use whenever you please. Please master-"
"-shut the fuck up already! I have no interest in you gross fantasies." You tugged on his hair and forced his flushed face to get as close as possible. His breathing hitched while you grinded against his tongue, making his pants feel tighter. But all his focus was on your voice. "Just make me come, you worthless creep."
Oh, how he loved when you spoke to him with such disgust in your tone. He wanted to serve you as best as he could, so maybe one day, he'll finally get the privilege of being praised.
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