#i wanna rant so much abt it ugh
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i complaining :c
#bro how these ppl know how to do all the stats analysis and stats report like a proper fucking paper like where the fuck#i didn't learn this in these classes granted i suck at stats classes#but still like what the fuck#this guy in my group just wrote a whole 13 page report by himself for our group project#and not even like necessarily for the project#bc it doesn't follow all the guidelines for the project he said so i was just like#the fuck did you write this shit for fun fucking please#i wanna rant so much abt it ugh#bc like this fucking guy didn't say anythign about working on it at all#liek we were all kinda afk over break and didn't do anything but he just wrote the entire report#but he could've fucking said somehting like im gonna work on it does anypone wanna join or help or smth#lmfao i'm mad ;-; bc like yeah we procrastinated so this is kinda a big help but like still fucking BRO#we also need to put teaam members contributions in the paper and the rest of us are just like editing his report to make it shorter#and fit better within the guidelines bro i don't fucking know i don't even know how to do any of this shit bc i fucking suck at stats#so like part of me is grateful that he just fucking finished it for no reason but ugh#like idk if the instructors are gonna be suspicious of it if the whole thing is written in the same exact style#like idk anything ugh i dont like this class :c#it would've been a higher workload but part of me wishes i took the computer science dept equivalent of this class TT#bc i hate the stats department and i fucking love the cs department bro#every cs class i've taken is so good they're hard as shit but doably hard and rewarding#stats classes i just get lost bro#:))))))))))))#anyway time to keep#trying to edit this methods section#of methods that i don't know how to use at all#:DDDDDDDDD fuck me man kasjnfgbfhdgludfgioquerhgi#why the fuck am i a data science major#jeanne talks#no bc this stuff is interesting ;-; but (maybe i'm just blaming my own bad skills/work habits on the department LOL but)#the classes suck :c i could keep going but out of tags LMFAO bye chatgpt save me
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Listen. Probably my favorite thing about The Terror is that because the story is one planned out season, the arcs and parallel scenes are set up so cleanly and nicely that it echos.
#listen. i safely traveled the 1st leg of my vacation journey and now im gonna rant abt the terror a sec bc god#i just want to line up all the parallel scenes bc theyre so good in my brain. i love it so much. even my dumbass can see what theyre doing#i dont have a good media analysis brain. i was in and English class full of other stem kids in college who got shouted at for mineing books#like we were looking for data and not going for the meaning lol. but ive watched thr show so many times. so many times and yet reading the#scripts is even better bc it makes it even more clear what theyre doing in each scene. i love it#im just gonna list scenes i remember that echo back. obv the more than god loves them via james as a parallel and an arc for francis. silna#y do u want to die. James god wants u to live. hicky bitching abt the dog thrn the crew bitching abt the dog. james assuring john abt his#being given command. francis reassuring james abt being given command. irving god sees u here more than anywhere. goodsir is god here? any#god? goodsir talking abt the radience when ppl die. goodsir hearing the angles as he dies. theres more but those r at the top of my head#i just wanna line them all up and stare at them. god. do i try to learn video editing for that? with what fucking time? but then i could#force my observations on other ppl in a way thats satisfying lol. maybe. id also want all the lines that echo constantly in my head edited#together. also. reading thr scripts they r obviously writing the apathy of god into the story. the sundog is a portentous celestial eye lol#im gonna have to write out my thoughts on god in the terror. whether or not i make a video. but the thumbnail would b Crozier staring at#the sundogs. i just have zero video editing skills and also zero time when im working lol. ugh but this idea is like a maligned tumor in#my head. and i must satisfy its demands. also just watch the terror. i beg of u. its so so good. also if u dont live in a city hellscape or#the god forsaken desert. go run around in the grass. it feels so so nice. i had to run around the house a few times when i got home lol#unrelated#the terror
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So I have no idea if Iāll keep this post up, butā¦
A little rant abt re8?? (And cod.. kinda) maybe venting (just a mess :,)
Disclaimer, take my opinions with a grain of salt I just wanna ramble lmao
Also spoilers, maybe (update, definitely)
So Iāve been having fun dipping my toes into Donna Beneviento (god her last name is hard to spell) content. After watching the gameplays and to at least have a basic understanding for the game, I find myself really drawn to her, maybe more than Alcina tbh
By no means iām a diehard fan or anything, recently itās been hard to find a new fandom to get attached towards. As much as I adore cod, there isnt really much to get attached tooā¦ like sure, task 141 is a fun group and the there is some GREAT art about the ships- but I only got attached because of Valeria, I wonāt deny it at all. Iām a diehard lesbian, but there isnāt really much cannon content of her?? Itās really damn disappointing sometimes, manā¦ same with Laswell. I appreciate all of the fanartists out there though, I adore all of the content here, fanfics or fan art. With Farah, sheās a diffrent story.. personally I never really got attached to her, but as a character sheās pretty neat. Her story sort of brings to light the horrors happening today which is a bit of a benefitā¦?? But ever since I found out things about both Valeriaās and Farahās actors Iāve been a little off about things here and there. I donāt think Iāll stop posting Valeria content at all, it just might be a little less offen to indulge in different things.
Some personal things have been happening to make me feel really disconnected from like.. fucking everything for some reason?? Like Iām drifting away from fandoms, Iām drifting away from people and Iām like alone again.. Iām lost in a damn dumpster fire. AI art doesnāt help with this at all.. like why do I draw?? Iāve been drawing since I was in kindergarten like I never really thought of the specifics of perusing art, more or so just that I want to. Like hey, I wanna make a game or movie series, and something in me doesnāt realize I need to put in the effort to learn shit with just ends up in me doing nothing but self pitting on something I can change and ugh.. wish I can slap myself to get out of it.
So I think Iāve been kind of finding myself relating to Donna. Not in her extreme way, more or so just her aspect of being isolated, and just being known primarily for one thing. Like.. our side of art? Damn. Shit. I think Iām worth nothing.. and with Donna we donāt really know much about her besides her being a cursed Dollmaker, and the bare bones of her past. And we both barely fucking speak manā¦ both hide our faces too !! maybe I kin this woman or something I donāt know
But as I was looking through her tumblr tag, I saw a rant about how headcannons and stuff has been stripping away the interesting stuff about the re8 villainsā¦ and with the things Iāve seen so far?? I can kinda agree, honestly.
Donāt get me wrong, if itās not too.. insane? (I know those boundaries are hard to define at times, but maybe REALLY immoral shit for our ānormalā world) and people arenāt forcing these headcannons into other people? I donāt mind headcannons. You do you, boo!
But the fan content Iāve seen, people reduce Donna and Alcina (Iām surprised it was pronounced as AlCHIna and not AlSIna, but side tangent over) from the potential they really have. Yeah itās definitely nice to see Donna more, especially in those intimate moments.. but sometimes I feel like people just depict her as some shy, easily gullible, girl, and not really the mentally deprived woman she is. Like Iād love to see ideas of the different dolls Donna could create, or unique imagery of her mental state outside of having porcelain skin. What about the kinds of plants she takes care of? Or the dolls she makes? Iād love to see more of it, whether she has favorites, or if itās a situation where she has doll replicas of her deceased family. Man, I really wanna see Donna do more creepy shit, basically.
With Alcina however? Sheās kind of reduced to that (Iām going to cringe at these words so terribly, god help me) āhot vampire mommyā.. Iāll take fault for not looking into her content as much, Iām sure thereās great content out there !! (Iām not sure if anyone would do this but.. feel free to send me any fic recommendations or art) With what I want to see for her? Iāve heard from the rant post as a man-hating woman she had primarily female statues in her castle, it would be fun to see what else she has cause of this worldview, as well as more whitty remarks from her; I really enjoy her throwback with Heisenberg. Just in general.. her being a comical villain.
Okay so, the reason why I made this post in the first place before all of this shit threw up from my brain. Belladonna. At first, this ship really interested me, I like the character dynamics, the art was neat. But then something came up in my mind.. (as well as another rant post on the ship..) isnāt the Dimitrescu bloodline related with Donna? Both are failed experiments from Mother Miranda, and technically adopted by her. Though from what I know, Donna is the only one officially adopted. So would that be family..? Iāve seen a few places where Alcina called Donna her sister, and it makes me feel really off.
And Iāve seen in a few fanarts, Donna technically older than the Dimitrescu sisters posed next to them like another sibling??
I would like to endorse the ship, but just the morality of everything is off centered for me. I rather not support weird incestā¦
So please if people could maybe clarify for me whether it would technically be okay for support this ship.. Iād appreciate it. If it isnāt okay, I have plans on making a fan character anyways, or I can take current characters and make a resident evil au or something, and ship them when Donna. (I have a character that honestly looks like a mix of Alcina and Bela, but by no means sheās relates to the franchise, lmao)
By no means Iām experienced in resident evil lore or the fandom, this is just coming from a newer fan of the series, and what Iāve seen so far.
If you read all of this.. thank you?? I apologize if I sound ridiculous here, this is like the only place I can rant abt things without being brushed off for other shit
Good night now!!! I need to stop pushing my sleep boundaries ugh
#valeria cod#re8#donna beneviento#beladonna#rant post#vent post#cece blabbers#valeria garza#alcina dimitrescu#cod mw2#genuine question at the end š
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Hii xx
could you do bella ramsey hcs where reader is jealous of bella because shes with other girls but then they end up together in the end š«¶
heyyyy, iām backk. i tried to make this as healthy as possible while also adding a bit of spice to it. i hope i interpreted this correctly <3 should i also write jealous!bella hcs? hehe lmkk
established relationship, jealous!reader, kisses and cuddling
bella is fine as hell (we all agree, can i get an amen) so naturally lots of people want them. bella is very much in the public eye and has got promotional duties as an actor. she has to go to lots of events like fashion shows, premiers, award shows and interviews. theyāre gonna meet lots of ppl and youāre usually extremely proud and happy for them! u pride yourself on not being the jealous type.
usually bella doesnāt text when sheās working/at events, mostly because she gets too overwhelmed and would rather be focused and present where they are. so you decided to go on twitter and check up on how it was going. unfortunately smth about a video of bella with a bunch of girls at a fashion show didnāt sit right with you. they were surrounding her and getting too close. bella didnāt do anything wrong and was being super polite as usual but the girls were all extremely pretty. they were all so elegant and looked so incredibly cool. it was both dumb and understandable at the same time. you trusted bella for gods sake. you shrugged the thought away and tried to go on about your day.
you ended up calling your best friend to rant about the whole situation because you couldnāt get it out of your head, ālisten itās not like i wanna go to these events and itās fine that she talks to other girls i just ugh, iām so jealous and i hate itā. your best friend told you exactly what you expected her to, ābitch just talk to them istg, youāre overthinking it too muchā. ofc you spent another 30 mins ranting about it but you knew you were gonna do the healthy thing at the end of the day.
āhoneeeyy iām homeeeā you hear bellas mocking american accent before you even see her. she finds you curled up on the couch binge watching willow. with a quick kiss to your forehead she heads upstairs to take a shower after such a long day. god, u have to talk to them about this.
by the time bella gets out of the shower youāre already settled into bed, comfy as hell tbh. crawling her way into bed, they lay next to you, facing you. ābabe, you awake?ā āMHMMMā you had to make your move now. āhow was the fashion show today?ā bella being the cutie she is, tells you everything. talks about her favorite looks, a fit she took a picture of because they thought it would look good on you and how she ran into her past costars. as much as you love hearing about her day youāre overthinking and trying to find the perfect moment to talk to her abt ur jealously and all the girls and how pretty they are and how youāre scared and worried and god so so jealous and how you feel- ācan i confess smth?ā bellas face drops and sheās full of concern. āDID U EAT MY LAST MUFFIN CUZ ISTGā oh, thatās what theyāre worried about. āno, not this timeā¦.. iām, i mean i was, kinda super jealous today. cuz like you were with all these pretty girls at the show and they were surrounding you and god- ik how fine you are and how lucky i am but i just felt,,,, like rlly jealousā
iwl bella was a bit shocked by your sudden outburst. youāre rarely ever jealous so this was a first, maybe a second. āmhmm i understand, i didnāt think you were the jealous type but i get itā she takes your face into her hands, you snuggle into her touch. āi know itās hard dating someone in the public eye, iāve actually embarrassingly asked pedro for advice on this before. thank you for telling me though, my love. a little bit of jealousy is normal. in myyyy expert opinion it means you need some reassurance and lottts, lottts and lottssss of kissesā
this idiot. they always know how to turn smth like this into a good thing. āyeah sure i mean those girls were nice and everything but at the end of the day i only want you and iām just as lucky to have you darlingā they bring you into a sudden kiss. melting into the kiss, you tangle your legs together to be as close as possible. It was a tense, reassuring and urgent. she poured a lot into that kiss and you gladly accepted it all.
iād like to think sheād make an extra little effort in the future to make you feel more secure. whether thatās with physical affection, words, time or gifts. bella is yours and they wanna make sure you always remember that.
#bella ramsey#bella ramsey x reader#bella ramsey fluff#wlw#bella ramsey gf#bella ramsey head cannon#lesbian#lgbtq#nonbinary#bella ramsey x y/n#the last of us
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āĖā¹ā” IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER
["whatever our souls are made of hers and mine are the same"]
| ā® 3.5 stars |
THOUGHTS Ā° į”£š© . Ā° . [spoilers for ihhbwm + some spoliers for ioihth]
ok so lemme tell you i had the BIGGEST reading slump ever just as i started to read this. so this review may be a little choppy at some points because i've just pointblank forgotten some parts and don't wanna go back and re-read finny's pov just yet.
i was so on the fence about reading this because on one hand i really wanted to read finny's pov and on the other, complete and utter heartbreak.... yeah....... so anyway i read it.
when i tell you that this book had me ugly crying in the middle of the night. like seriously finny's pov?? fucking broke me. are you kidding me? the way he speaks about autumn? ugh when am i gonna find a guy like finny fr? but seriously this book had me on a rollercoaster of emotions just from the heartbreak knowing whats already gonna happen to finny as he describes how happy he is and how he can't believe autumn loves him back, to the smile i had on my face reading about 'the moms' bickering over baby stuff for autumn.
i will say this now i did expect a little more (hence the rating). i wanted idk more closure at the end there. idk rlly know how to describe it better since its 10 o'clock at night and ive had zero sleep for the past four nights in a row. but yeah i wanted something more. (bitch u wanted finny to be alive)
CHARACTERS Ā° į”£š© . Ā° .
finny -
*sobbing noises* i could go on a damn rant abt this boy. holy shit. he's just perfect. if i see one person ONE PERSON coming after him istg- he was such a caring sweet person like the pencil??? and always going to the sketchy gas station (i nearly called it a servo then lmao) to get the candy autumn likes?? and always making sure people were safe when he drives?? *cough* apparently not you though sylvie *cough* just ahhh laura when i get you. cause like why'd you have to make him get out of the car, hmmm? lets just compromise and you give me an alternate universe where finny misses the puddle or better yet where sylvie kept her damn seatbelt on.
jack -
tbh i wasn't all that excited to read about jack. (also to be fair i was still sobbing from finny's pov so that probably didn't help) like i seriously just thought it'd be some jock trying to process finny's death by hooking up with alexis (who by the way can go jump up her own ass and die) but we got the whole other side of him where he was genuinely affected by finny's death and really was his best friend. but the way he didn't like autumn way just- yeah. also i saw him and sylvie coming from a mile away like seriously it wasn't very subtle.
autumn -
*sobbing noises increase* autumn my baby girl. i just wanted to jump through the pages and give her a hug. seriously i feel robbed that we didn't get to see a happy autumn. angie and her's friend ship was so precious tho. and i love love LOVE that they bonded over being moms/soon-to-be-moms. im also just gonna say the way we didn't see an ounce of jamie or sasha this entire book made me so happy! i also lowkey wanted to see more of when she was an actual mom? like what would she name the baby? i wanted to see domestic autumn a little more. but i still love her so much and it was so lovely to see her heal <3
QUOTES Ā° į”£š© . Ā° . [spoilers]
"my love for her is the closest thing i have to religion. but it's okay that she doesn't feel the same. i'm fine. i can handle it" - finny
"my devotion to autumn is engraved on my very being. i am in awe of her. i will sit in the stands and cheer her on in life as her most ardent admirer. i know i'll always love her in the same way i know i'll always need oxygen" - finny
"it's all done. finn's story is over. his whole life. that was it. not even nineteen years, and he'll never, ever do anything else ever again. finn won't go off to college or celebrate his birthday. he won't get another hair cut or get the oiled changed in his car. he won't bite a hangnail on his thumb or buy another CD. finn smith has done everything he will ever do. he won't get to be with autumn." - jack
āthis baby isn't what's left over from our love story. this baby is our story's continuation.ā - autumn
"if only i'd told her that i loved her years ago, i wouldn't be here now." - finny
all in all laura you can pay for my therapy mkay?
#the library ą±Øą§āĖļ½”ā#if only i had told her#if he had been with me#ioihth#ihhbwm#laura nowlin#autumn davis#phineas smith#finny smith#jack murphy#the bookshelf ą±Øą§āĖļ½”ā
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so hereās my silly little rant/opinions on the new doctor who season
if what i say pisses you off just keep scrolling mary i donāt have the energy to deal with negativity rn
so firstly i don't wanna talk abt how the new doctor regenerated okay that made absolutely no sense to me. idk why even 10 came back as well like ig donna's story was left "untold" ā¦.but so is every other companionās?
and idk how they split??? i really don't understand how they can do that but itās aliens so whatever.
im also not gonna go into the christmas episode or the baby episode i...dont wanna relive that.
so!! i love the doctor i think heās so fun and hip and his style is amazing.
personally i think the fact that he doesnāt have a set outfit is bc heās trying to figure out who he is, which is always so exciting as the viewer going on this journey with him.
and ruby is awesome as hell!! low key fuck you writers for not making her a lesbian ( i mean she has the eyebrow slit and everything you should be ashamed).
also cool background story i love that she's interesting and a mystery. plus when villains are like "who...are you" that's always so dope.
i think that the "family" of the different "gods" is really cheesy but GOD i loved jinx they did so fucking amazing their performance was everything. i want them to act in every show ever honestly.
with that being said.. that episode specifically wasnāt my favorite, it was a cool concept but idgaf abt the beetles so š
and in that episode when the doctor ran away and hid?? that was new to the doctor that we know and i was like āyeah letās go weāre gonna watch his character develop!ā
so you would think it would build up to some sort of solution bc the doctor is tryna figure out who he is and that's gnarly love it
ā¦.then they DIDNT?
they didn't do anything with that?!?? at least that i was able to notice?
okay but after the jinx episode the rest of the episodes were actually fierce!
the landmine one had some really cool dialogue moments especially with the bickering like love i'm obsessed. ruby was also really cool and i love how much she cares about the doctor and how she wasnāt scared. i think that says a lot about her character. not to mention i think having her so in awe of the planets was a really good choice bc that reaction is so human and i love it.
buttttt the other characters were like mad infuriating which may have been the point? and throughout the episode it was so tense and nerve racking but the end was so anticlimactic. i loved the idea, and i loved that the dad was able to save the day (even tho i wanted the doctor to save the day but whatever) but i wanted MORE. i wanted the doctor and ruby to go into town, or to see the government and face them and call them out on the war! the fact that it was in one area the entire episode was just not it, me no likey.
the ruby centered episode was AWESOME.
that one was so unsettling (in a good way) and it was sooooo cool to see her like basically save the world and then she dies but BOOM they're back when the episode first started. i loved it, so peak doctor who timey wimey stuff
even tho i'm still a little confused as to if the lady was ruby? but whatever i still really enjoyed it i honestly have no cons on this episode it displayed what kind of person she is perfectly.
next, the bridgerton episode was fun! love the gayness they even kissed and they flirted it was so fierce. and ugh rubyās character just keeps getting better and better honestly shes so fun and itās so easy to root for her.
ā¦butā¦ the dialogue wasnāt good in this episodeā¦.at all. especially having the aliens say the word ācosplayā took me out of the fantasy completely
also side note but not really-
what always impressed me growing up watching doctor who was that even back in 2005 the alien makeup was always so FIERCE like cunty boots down house houston bc it's makeup centric!
it also allows talented people to show off their skills and add really personal features to the actors who are playing the aliens. but nowadays they rely on the cgi so much that it just doesnāt seem believable and honestly it doesn't look good anymore. like mentioned before with makeup you can use the actorās features to your advantage which creates the perfect illusion.
makeup + a LITTLE bit of cgi is the way to go and i don't get a fuck if it's more expensive ur a fucking successful ass company you have the money now USE IT
the episode itself was good until the very end when rouge sacrificed himself and then the doctor was like "i move on that's what happens" like bruh
by having him say that, it honestly makes you think that all of the losses the doctor has endured is just moments of his past, and that heās moved on
like no i want the doctor to be angry, to be motivated!!
and that's what i think this doctor lacked.
there was no motivation or drive for him, which is so fucking stupid bc the actor is amazing.
the episode that ended with the doctor experiencing racism for the first timeā¦you can tell that the actor put his whole heart and soul into his performance (especially the scream). he was unleashing a whole new part of his doctor and it was absolutely perfect.
so why not use that to give the doctor more motivation, more anger? seeing the doctor not being able to move on, to be selfish at times bc that makes him feel human. which would make sense BC!! he has spent so much times with humans and earth is important to him.
moving on; one of the biggest things that made this season an issue was that they cried every. single. episode.
when you only get something every once and a while it makes that thing so much more precious. the doctor only cries like once a season, and when he does it's like actually thrilling bc you don't get that side of him a lot.
and usually it's with a lot of anger bc the doctor is angry!! we've been through how many seasons of the doctor suffering?? i mean the man literally blew up his own planet. he's been thru the ringer.
there are so many episodes of the doctor not having the best morals, of him letting the villain die bc of his own selfish intentions. he's not supposed to be a hero, and i think thatās also what makes the doctor so compelling.
another con was the dialogue. one of my biggest tv / movie turn offs is when they say what theyāre doing. and not in the super impressive like monologue way but in the simple way of being like "i'm cooking" like mary yeah i see you doing that??
and this season used that a lot. and again NOT in the cool monologue saving the day way speaking of that, no cool monologues? none? nada?
the best part of doctor who is when the doctor goes against all odds and saves the day with that sexy smirk and has the coolest monologue with the kick ass music in the back and during it gives you goosebumps! it also allowed the actor to put forth a lot of emotion into their performance and allowed them to build who their doctor is.
despite all of that, i did really enjoy the episode with ruby growing old and the racism episode. the fact that they didnāt have to say it was perfect and i think was a really good choice bc it was a surprise factor, especially with the doctorās reaction. when they brought in a random character to save the day and him be so unlike the rest of his race and then kill him is always gonna be classic trope, bc my sister and i were GAGGED. perfect, absolutely perfect.
however. the season finale can go fuck itself.
UNIT is so cheesy now, and it feels so unreal and silly which i think is stupid. theyāve had this facility for so long so the fact that it is unserious now is lame. it feels really fake whenever they're trying to be serious and sciency, which is not the way to go when ur a literal army based facility.
anyways back to the season finale-yeah it was cool to have a throwback especially with the fact it was āthe one who waitsā that was gnarly! however,,, when sutukh whatever his name was literally kills the entire universeā¦it didn't feel like it??? it happened so quickly it didn't have that shock value it was supposed to and i was actually confused.
i did love the throwback to the ruby episode so it made you feel like it was tying that together which is nice!! give them some recognition yay!!
now letās talk abt the whole plot with Rubyās birth mother.
the build up of her real mother i mean it's been every episode when they mentioned it. in the first part where they were in the time window, that was giving me the creeps! i loved that it was scary and confusing and i couldnāt wait to figure it out!
so when the birth mother of ruby, the woman that even the god of death was infatuated with, the woman that the doctor couldn't figure out, the woman that was stuck in some sort of time thingyā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦..is just a regular woman? its just some teenager who got knocked up and gave away her kid? that's it?
i've been getting edged this entire fucking season just for this?
if you enjoyed that it was a regular person i get it! itās a throwback to whenever the doctor made his speech about how no one is ever just unimportant, which i do love and appreciate.
the whole reason she's important is bc the unknown is the most powerful thing which honestly i agree. my biggest fears are always the unknown. so yes absolutely i get itā¦.butā¦.are you...are you kidding me?
and then ruby leaves? ruby is done traveling with the doctor? i just. ugh.
there was so much potential and iām just so empty now.
yes it had its cool moments, but im honestly so heartbroken and disappointed with how it turned out like, some bitch on tumblr could have written this season better than this.
i really really really hope the next season is better, at this point itās just the writing. so get it together writers!! Ncuti is a phenomenal actor he is so fun and his range is so raw and captivating. not to mention Ruby! iām really sad sheās leaving so soon, she was really fun and complimented the doctor well.
i canāt wait to see whatās next, and honestly no matter what iām gonna watch doctor who bc itās so special to me <3
#doctor who#fifteenth doctor#15th doctor#pls donāt fight me on this#also letās not talk abt the grammar#i originally wrote this out on discord to rant to my friends#none of them watch doctor who#i hope i didnāt ruin my chances of getting them to watch it someday#iām re watching doctor who now#jesus
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random text post of day #
been watching creepcast more or less since the first/second episode and after latest i keep wanting to talk to ppl abt my thoughts and im tired of trying to engage with other youtube comments / i dont wanna keep bothering my spouse with this plus id want to talk to other ppl who are viewers but dhkdhfk im gonna rant behind the cut; tw animal death/violence, child abuse
gonna rant assuming readers is also a viewer cause too tired to explain, sorry. this is just āstuff id want to chat with fellow fans of the poscast but i dont have friends who watch it, and the youtube comments suck for the most part and id rather be turned inside out than login to redditā, like i did end up using rhe comment section way toomuch already, jm tired and its like 3% normal ppl and 97% dicks and assholes with bully disorder
like it was a big enlightening to just properly label things last night at last and process the feelings and situation. this is jsut a podcast with isaiah bullying his cohost hunter (āas a jokeā) and the fans at large are people who enjoying bullying snd find it funny, and try to bully commenters who disrupt their āfunā, trting to discret and demean them as friendless parasocial losers for not playing along the theater of mockery and treating it as socially acceptable.
like its one thing to tease between friends and make dark jokes, its another thing to repeatedly, insistently, laugh at your friend for being traumatized as a child by violent animal death? like. its like i get that initially he was just really baffled at the event like haha oh my god did that happened thats so fucked up (which is annoyingly normie in its own way like yeah dude, none of us have control over fucked up shit happening to us as children, like he makes such a spectacle about it like its this earth shattering thing). like its tragic and a big deal but like wrt trauma its usually safe to be on the level that the person with the trauma is setting, if theyre talkinf about it really intensely it makes sense to match up to that tone or lower. instead hunter is trting to move on while isaiah is just obsessed fascinated with it like its fiction almsot. idk just . uggghhhhhhh
i could kust make a collage fo commwnts that made me like lose hope for humanity each time but i dontw anna dwell on annoying bullshit and commit it more to memory. like people are jusrā¦ like there is some dark humor inherent to like calljng your mom as an adult on your show to have her back you up only for it to turn out it was way worse, but like the way isaiah kept laughing about it for so long.. like hecan laugh and joke like that at his Own traumas if he has them. just. idk. tgisn podcast like just. ugh its making me irritated tot hink abt explaining whats happening in it to people like go watch it with adblock on, im gonnaskip explainjng more and jsut say some feelings to the void that id rather like scream at someone about. i was gonna say scream at assholes in the commmebts but i actually want their internet connection destroted and for them to be forced to dismantle their phones and pcs and set them on fire so they can never speak again.
isaiah is coming off like such a monster. like, āāāas a jokeāāā acting like an asshole is still acting like an asshole, i dont care anymore that hes actually probably rly well intentioned and ncie bc he jsut needs to stop being fucking rancid and a shitty cohost and friend. an honestly i cant even believe the āhes actually niceā shit anymore. starting tj feel hes been an ashsole all along and just pretends to be a good guy. like he takes too much joy out of excessive bullying to be a good person. like genuine just bullying, with no consequences. ppl are like āoh hunters fine with it bc hes putting up with itā like as if every single person alive Never has to put up and laugh along shit that bothers them. specially on what is essentially their Job. hunter barely appears comfortable and he does not dish back nearly as viciously- and we jnow hes capable of rly dark humor and banter too, on his own channel tje vibe is completely different but he has none or that edge with isaiah. while isaiah is literally like i wnan dox you please fans m*lest hunter in the meet and greet, i want this guy dead; isaiah literlaly makea such a huge deal every time hunter had a disagreeing opinion irs clear hes started to just not weight in when he doesnt like something, itd be one thing to make these super intense mean comments if hunter did them back but every time isaiah would not take or tolerate it when it was towards himself,; and honestly all of the stuff before had been like accumulating to be pretty bad but rhe latest ep with the dog story eallyi guess like crosses a line of like, this is just genuinely wrong and i dont care how mcuh the comments say its āparasocialāto have basic human empathy! youre watchint a guy talk abt having the family dog shot in the back of the head in front of him by his grandfather, only to then find out on air feom his mother the shooting had been intentional and his grandfatehr was actuallt a monster instead of a disabled man traumatizinf you by accident. like the ironic tragedy of him calling his mom to back him up on that āits not a big dealā only for her to contradict him is funny on a cosmic sense, but like it is iust. not that funny dude. like isaiah kept bursting into laughter just thinking about it. oh is it too absurd for you to take seriously? do yoh just not give a fuck about how tour friend might feel? dude didnt even fucking ask. he didnt eveb show a sliver of care , sympathy empathy anything. he literally says āill never let you live this downā. LIVE WHAT DOWN???? having his grandfather intentionally shoot his dog in front of him as a 7 year old child? like what the actual fuck is wrong with him??!! have like even a shred of respect for your cohost, like its all āas a jokeā but if you consistently āas a jokeā act like a cruel manipulative bullying person, im just gonna choose to believe youre actually just that person using āhumorā as a shield to excuse your behavior.
like wtf. i was actually a fan of isaiahs chanel first and i didnt rly vibe with hunter that much and i wouldnt have expected, bc i woildnt enjoy watching an asshole, that isaiah wouldve turned out to be such a self centered horrible person. like its all funny TO HIM, i dont get the sense its enjoyable at all to be in that room when isaiah is getting all giddy and having a kick out of treating hunter like a punching back. yeah he probably doesnt mean to be actually hurtful but it doesnt look like the thought even crosses his satan spawn eyes that someone could have a different reaction than the one he was intends there to be. like i dont know hunter and idk if id even like him if i talked to him in person but it sucks qnr is horrible to watch anyone be treated that way consistently. like i wish creepcaet juet actually ended or isaiah learned how to not be shitty. i dont care if its not in his nature to not be awful he should just try to pretend to be a decent person for once. like i feel bad for hunter becuase it comes across like hes more stuck in the podcast than enjoying it and i empathise with struggling to leave āfriendsā who treat you like shit. and its like work too, i have no idea how much of a monetary and reputation loss it would be to leave. ppl are like ātheyre adults they surely worked within themselvesā yeah bc no adult ever has struggled or been stuck in a situation thats hard to get out of. honestly like yeah this is just a shitty podcast with shitty fans who just enjoy watching a bigger guy get bullied for no reason because they are probably mostly awful bullies in their own lives too hurting the people around them and i dont need to convern myself over what people who get a kick out of hurting others think.
i guess obligatory like. insane and unwarranted comment to the hosts bc no one is readingnthis let alone either of them but its like what if they read it and like felt x or y way in reaction. maube writing this will give me some semblance of peace
@ hunter: you seem cool and youre a really talented artist and naturally funny on camera/audio. i relate to having memories from childhood warped like that, and im sure/i would imagine that was the story told because it was far from the actual worst one. i think you deserve to respect yourself more, im sure being bullied is no skin of your back, im fat and ive been derided bc of it my whole life, from since i was 70kg and im 100kg now. its smth you get used to and it feels like not a big deal but on a fundamental level i thibk everyone deserves to respect themselves at least enough to not let friends treat you like shit to this extent. like i know banter and teasing is normal, butlike. its so excessive dude. it comes across like youre just stuck there and idk your financials and maybe you coulr be, ive heard of stories like that wrt youtube projects, and subversive animations arent loved by youtubeās revenue. heavy condolences if this turns out to be the case and hoping things can change. im sure it would be hard to quit anyway bc ppl would make such a big deal abt it. but if you are free to leave at anytime and you have freedom and are safe with isaiah,thank god thats great, get the FUCK out of there or get isaiah to stop treatiny you like shit cause you deserve better. if somehow you iust love beint berated like that i guess like each to his own too, i just hope youre doing ok juwt oj the basis of beint a fellow human being who appears to be in a legitimately shitty situation. if you are ajd im insane, thats fine too, id rather be insane than someone be suffering.
sigh
@ isaiah: i really liked your youtube vids. you seemed like a decent enougu guy. ofc like i dont actualyl Know either of tou, injust am human and relating on basic emotional levels based on the behavior you choose to display online. man. what the hell is wrong with you? if i expected you to actually read this i would be more polite but i dont expect a single soul to read this, really. like, manā¦ i want to believe theres capacity of good and kindness in every person so surely you must have it, and if you do.. why are you acting like that. is being mean That funny? i love dark humor but ive never taken joy out of actively bullying people so i cant really relate but like, surely you can find otuer ways to have fun with your friend? im sure you think its all fine bc hunter wont throw a tantrum like you do but some people are actually way more inwards with their emotions and like you coild try to be a little more interested in how someone else feels when you bully them. āas a jokeā. like maybe its not as funny as you think itnis, or they migut not be enjoying it like you do. i know its hard to stop when you want to talk but please try to stop interrupting hunter repeatedly after you clewrly mustve heard him adter the call delay? honestly, i thought you were a fine guy but now its like maybe youre just on a power trip, havint someone hostage to validate your opinions on horror and to bully for fun who wont talk back to you in a way thats actually challenging. since you love the sounf of your own voice so much you could do a solo podcast, you dont need hunter to be there as a punching bag in order to make a podcast. if you lvoe and care about hunter as a friend sincerely and iust have been totally by accident actint like a major piece of shit, id like want to hope for you to improve as a person in how you act and id want to believe thats very possible, but episode after episode its just.. like i dont give a shit abt dark mean humor i dont care if you call us in the audience pieces of shit or freaks or whatever, weāre not there talking to you, but hunter Is hearing what youre saying and is actually there.like id say for a christian you are extremely cruel but that is just ao on brand for open christians to behave that way that i honestly wanted to believe you would subvert that expectation, but it seems i was wrong. you know like i dont get this being mean as a joke thinf and neber have, i would say if hunter died tomorrow would you not have rather spent time with him in a positive way where he was loved instead of berated, but youd most likely ājokeā that youre glad hes dead and that you didnt bully him enough. im not christian and i dont believe in heaven or hell but i know for you that youre most likely not seeing the pearly gates until you learn to pretend to be a good person to your friends. its probably not even smth you genuinely want to do or care to do but you could make that sacrifice of being nicer so the world is a better place while it has to have you here.
big sigh this isjsut hggggghhhhhh like a shame bc i love horror and i had enjoyed isaiahs youtube vids but , man this is such a disappointment. obviously i dont rly wana watch the podcast anymore butni like hunter reading and his voice and i would just hope for the best for him going forward, and the insane in my brain is like i gotta check it out maybe isaiah apologizes and acts like normal and nice without being rancid for once. even tho i know that wont be true bc it hasnt been for weeks since i started watching, i guess ill tune in for the next and if he foesnt shape up iāll quit it. find a diff horror podcast or smth. makes me sad imagining hunter stuck in there. kike idk if hes even a good person like hes edgy on his own channel too but in general like he comes across like isaiah used to , lile someone who just seems fine and i havent heard anything saying theres smth horribly wrong with him. just on a basic human level it sucks to see people struggle and suffer. speciallt when its situations i relate and have been to. its been at least (uhh mathā¦) damn 10 years or smth since an event that really stuck with me, where i was kust telling soem school friend abt my life at home bc we were just talking, and i relayed one of the ways my parents would beat me and how i was so scary, and she burst our cackling in my face. its a feeling that took a long time to stop having it sting in my head. she wasnt intending to laugh At me, or bc she thought beating children was genuinely good or funny, but to her the situation was so absurd it was funny. i can understand that on a detached level like if it wasnt real there would be some comedy timing to it. but instead i iust felt like a joke. like i was stupid, like it was this really funny ass thing, and i tried to play along, and it was like the fear trauma and pain that resulted from those events was a joke too. like i was stupid for having my life warped ny the abuse and it affecting me, because it was just so absurd and funny! like damn, i shouldve been abused as a child in a less absurd and funny way so people wouldnt mock me to my face about it. i guess i deserve it and its natural to be treated this way. until i met someoje who actually respected and gave a fuck about me and wouldnt make me feel that way i thoight it was normal and like i was fine with it too. i used to get bullied communally by my entire classroom for half of middle school and i thought those people were called friends too because id never been treated any better by anyone.
hgggghj i think its helped a bit to get it off my chest, maybe. man this sucks. i wish people would iust be nicer to eachother. life is so short, and some people cant even have the courtesy to not be tormented by people they call friends
#.talk#creepcast criticism#tagging for the poor flowers that will get pissy if they see someoje not validate their enjoyment of bullying
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okay yeah ! so i think i am gonna do a xmas theme, also i feel like this "promo" for cool kids / i'm faded is me trying toooooooo hard
(big rant under the cut)
, idk i just get very frustrated at these things so i think im just gonna go back to posting when i wanna, like being so real its always been my dream to be a big account and share with my readers, and at my CORE i still wanna be that but the issue is i dont know WHERE to start, and its not like im a new writer i've been writing since i was like 15 (what i'd consider the writing i like) and im just so ????!! about it, like i feel so physically incapable of being a fandom writer like i can't explain it its everything i want but everytime i work towards it i just self implode and stop posting / stop writing, like i still wanna write OBVIOUSLY but the pressure of wanting to "make it big" destroys me like everytime idek? and it seems so easy when i think about it but then when i do it its like LOL NOPE idc idc how much effort you put in. and yes it could be the fact i've never posted a complete fic so there's really nothing for people to know me for, i just feel like people get "suprised" i write on here LIKE YEAH, i post like insanely haphazardly but yeah i do!! and it feels so preformative and ugh.
also i've struggled for a long time on what i wanna do with this account, i wanna speak up about things which includes RB'ing a shit ton, but ive always had an unhealthy imbalance of what i wanna do on here, i wanna be a writing account but what abt the stuff i wanna bring to light by RB'ing, and yes i have other side accounts but they're all for fun, i dont wanna seperate my intrests because they all belong here, just like i do, its kinda my home atp. i feel like i'm one of those people who you dont miss on dash because i rarely curate my own posts and just silently reblog so ig its kinda my fault. idk, the more ive been thinking i feel like the "big fandom writer" thing isn't gonna be for me, and then AT THE SAME TIME i feel like im shooting myself in the foot everytime i complain and wanna pick up the fight again, but idk ive been whining abt it since i was like 15 and im oh so tired with everything going on in the world so i'm just gonna write my fics.
i feel like i write so diff from everyone else, like when i post something i want it to convey something in you, i want you to feel moved and feel appreciated and loved and happy reading something i make, and i dont even know if my writing is built to do that and i may be just dicksucking myself. idek. i dont wanna post for just notes i wanna talk about what i write with other people and for people to ask me why i chose what i did and why i wrote my stories and how it made them feel or what they like about it, and i just feel like im pandering to an audience that doesn't exist everytime i idek, write author's notes, ask for feedback, talk to people about what they like, i've always taken myself way too seriously and i just feel like modern fandom is so. so.
like i grew up reading 2010's fanfics and thats the kinda vibe i like creating, like 2012 chronically online wattpad stories, with long chapters and chatty authors and a bunch of funny comments, i just idk.
#longpost#on fandom#on fanfiction#very long post#i've been silent on alot of stuff because i get sm anxiety posting?#i literally post a fic every 2 months and dissapeer#sometimes two times a year#i feel like deep in my heart somewhere i want to be more than a fanfic writer in the sense of being a fanfic writer#like idk if that makes sense#i dont wanna be just another person's stuff you read i want you to tell me how you feel#enjoy the experience and share thoughts#and i feel like people don't do that anymore#or at least not around / about me#maybe its bc my account is SO small (or feels so small)#bc ive seen people with 100 followers w bigger engagement than me and its just like AHHH#and everytime i try i get burnt out#i feel stupid i feel silly#adhd paralysis#fandom problems#i rarely even make ātalkingā posts anymore because i feel like NO ONE sees it#and on wattpad obviously i just post fanfic stuff but on here i wanna do alot#i wanna advocate for the right things i wanna talk abt all my fav things i wanna rb i wanna OG post i wanna post fics#i want engagement i want ppl to comment i just want more than i think i can get tbh#not everyone is cut out for it maybe? and i just keep saying ājust keep tryingā but its been 3 years. im tired.
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hi mod, idk if a rant ask counts as a confessions ask? jshsjs but i've got no one to rant to abt solarballs so wee, this ask shall bear the weight of it lol
prefacing this now: i've primarily only interacted with the gacha side of the fandom till now,only even recently started reading the fics lmao
even before i actually knew shit about sb, it was always kinda on my radar whenever id search for gcrv's to watch? i never touched it tho? but i was on a binging spree of epic the musical vids, so yeah i clicked on this fun lookin gacha vid abt the song 'god games'
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yeah no that's where this shit started. i literally finished watching that video and dived right into the gcrv's and holy sHII, there's so fucking āØmanyāØ, and their all like 20+ mins long and the designs are so good??? the dialogue and plot is literally so fucking cool too. tbh i kinda made a lil mistake by starting off with the 'mythological solarballs au' react vids, since i was hella overwhelmed by everything LMAO
but that led to me finding out about broken au, then fast forward to permanent hatred au, second collision au and all that jazz. holy shit, the whole 'earth fucking dies then saturn and jupiter just go red eye whatever and go absolutely batshit', yeah no that shit grabbed me by the throat lol
didn't take me long to get emotionally invested to jupiturn, a surprise to absolutely no one š§āāļø
but ugh i literally love this fandom and all the fanworks so damn much, like literally every single interpretation is just so chef's kiss to me LOL Jupiter's such a fun little character to tear apart and analyse though tbh every single one of these idiots are jshsjsh
also a very unfortunate side-effect, since like the past few days, neptune has just solidified his spot as my absolute fucking favourite even though i haven't watched the actual show yet (it's escaped for now lol, i wanna sit thru it properly tho hshjs) but yk how GHE is a hella famous thing in the fandom?
yeah no i can't touch any of it /lighthearted
the emotional devastation it brings to me, merely whenever i see like a neptune&iris thing in gcrv's and neptune's hurt or like- idk how to phrase it lol, but basically #neptune is not having a fun time, it legit hurts me š§āāļø
not sure if it's cause broken au desensitized me, but earth angst doesn't really hurt me as much, tho i have only been in the fandom for like 2 weeks so idk much yet lol
UGHH I LOVE THIS FANDOM SMM, EVERYONE'S SO FUCKING CREATIVE AND EVERY SINGLE FANWORK IS ALWAYS SUCH A FUCKING TREAT GRAHHHH
(perks of also being a multishipper with no emotional attachments yet LMAO, all food is good food š)
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puppy!steddie being and whatnot. ur a mutual friend of robins that she brings over one time.
the way their tails WAG is unreal when they smell/see you/you come around. they like ur scent, they like ur face, they like ur voice.
always asking Robin to bring you around again, make huge pillow forts ( nests ) and leave random sweaters lying around incase you get cold and then you can end up smelling like em too
will DIE if itās a group hangout and u make everyone a meal. think one of those creamy alfredo pastas and garlic bread or smthn, they wolf it down, tails wagging, ears going, mouths full to the brim and still managing to cheesy grin at you cus they wonāt take their eyes off u throughout cus how else will you know how much they enjoyed it?? :]
nah but think abt grappling for the chair next to you pre-meal - robins battling steve for ur left after losing to eddie for ur right. try to play footsie with u under the table and just āiā-
SLEEPOVEEERRRSSS
nest nest nest nest nest NEST TIME!!! maybe ur just chronically cold ie bad circulation or whatever, ur limbs go blue and the tip of ur nose freezes like an icicle so whatās the best way to show how worthy they are for you????? keep u warm all night ofc. so many blankets. sneaking in clothing items. u lay on eddies crusty vest and heās like āitās pre loved :))ā cus the smell on it is so strong of him
if u wanna have something to fidget with while the sleepover den movie is playing, u best know that they wanna offer up their ears.
join the hybrid hangout! ā” / hybrid au faq
TBIS IS SO SWEET :(( UGH yes robin brings her friend over 'cause she can't handle the two of them on their own they're too annoying so she drags you along and rants the entire way about how they're such losers and she hates them (She loves them so dearly) and when you get there they fall all over you!!!!!! offering you something to eat/drink two seconds in and fighting for a spot next to you on the couch that leaves robin on the floor like >:o you get a shiver down your spine and they immediately offer you one of their big fuzzy blankets off of their bed!! it smells sm like them and they wrap you in it so that you do too :')
omg them eating your meal :(( they seem to enjoy it so much that you give them leftovers and it's all they eat and they always text you like it was so good!! or even better the second time :) and they're so sweet :(( and yes footsie at the table wtf steve brushes his shoulder against yours all subtle like and eddie's literally kicking you (lightly) under the table the entire time š
yes they give you blankets to keep warm. yes they let you borrow their hoodies/pajamas/etc. but they also. keep you warm themselves. they offer themselves up before anything else, they snuggle up on either side of you and burrow their noses into your neck and squeeze you tight and then they put a blanket over the three of you. no honey why do you need steve's hoodie he's got it on you can just absorb his body heat.
SKGNS OMG :(( they notice you're picking your nails or the frayed strings of your jeans so they grab your hands and plop them on top of their heads <333 i swear they're falling over into your lap while you pet them both they're not watching the movie anymore they're just piled all over you <33
#dog hybrid!eddie#dog hybrid!steve#let's talk about puppy!eddie !!#let's talk about puppy!steve !!#puppy!eddie#puppy!steve#ddejavvu's hybrid hangout#hybrid au#eddie munson x reader#steve harrington x reader
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the downfall of steve harrington in s4
hi im back i forgot abt this acc. anyway i wanna rant about what the fuck the duffers turned steve into in season 4.
tl;dr - stancy doesnt make any sense, im genuinely upset it coming back is technically canon
~
literally what happened???? seasons 2 & 3 gave steve so much character development; he acknowledged that he was a terrible boyfriend towards nancy, and began to move on. then s4 fucked it all up and somehow he's in love with nancy still? like it frustrates me so much, sure nance is the one who got away but i dont think he really knew her.
ive seen a ton of people talk about this; if nance and steve were to get back together, she'd be running away from her dreams and becoming what she hated the most. her parents. jonathan is fully supportive of her aspirations to become a journalist, while i bet steve doesnt even know that shes interested in it so much.
lalala team jancy, team ronance... i just want what will be best for nance, or for everyone for that matter. BUT WE ALL HAVE ONE ENEMY: stancy.
there are just so many things WRONG with that ship. i am genuinely so frustrated that this shit is CANON. like im genuinely so upset over it...
the REAL nancy would not ever consider going back to steve. sure, with the strain her and jon have atm, she'd probably think abt it. but she's a smart girl! she knows why they didnt work out, i mean he hurt her!! completely disregarded her trauma!! even if thats in the past, their dreams are just way different!
they also dont KNOW EACH OTHER HELLO
RONANCE makes more fucking sense if the duffers wanted jancy gone. nancy being an independent woman works as well tho :3
ugh i just. its so disappointing. steve's character went completely backwards. i hate it so much.
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i am open to others' opinions btw! pls reblog, or comment or whateva <3
#ą³ą¾ fifi's yipper yapper! ĖĖ#steve harrington#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#jancy#stancy#ronance#stranger things#steve harrington what have they done to you#nancy babes ur smarter than this
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hey girly :) iām gonna, like, rant here for a sec so feel free to ignore this is you want/need to ššš
my boyfriend (of 1.5 years) and my friends have never been close, and tbh my friends donāt like him very much and honestly. i was okay with that. i mean would it be great it they liked him? yeah, but itās not the end of the world. and now now one of my friends not only likes him but is kinda friends with him and it justā¦idk, bugs me?????
like am i toxic for not wanting my boyfriend to be friends with my friends? it stems from a place of anxiety that heās gonna leave me for her yada yads a teeny tiny bit, but itās mostly because i like having my girl time and then having my boyfriend time, i donāt want that to clash š. i donāt want to only talk abt my friend or only talk abt my boyfriend i just wanna hangout and recharge with the people i love (SEPERATLYYYYYY)
itās just so UGH and i donāt want to be a shitty person i just worry about getting left behind in a way? i have some abandonment issues so they might be peaking through here, but i just feel so irrational and riddled with anxiety and itās not going away š.
anyway!! love you lots, keep writing, youāre so amazing at what you do š«¶
noo i get this on another level. i mean acquaintances is cool but being too friendly or too comfortable idk rubs me the wrong way; and no itās not because weāre insecure, itās because some people are really shitty and you want to protect your heart which is extremely okay. it can come with a price though.
a saying i live by is āif they can get your man, hes not your man and you dodged a bullet! better it happen earlier than later when youāve fallen and put in more effort overtime.ā
and itās okay to rant in my inbox honestly i love talking to you guys and being able to give advice or just reassurance
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im going for balor! he reminds me a bit of cahara fear and hunger so ive no choice but to kiss him on da mouth (with tongue) (bass boosted) (nightcore remix) (etc) but i will say. id love to get in a sandwich between juniper and valen too. like a shark im smelling yuri in the water and i want in on that.... you're in for a treat <3 this game is so much fun, i hope u have fun with it too!!
BALOR is so pretty !!! tbh, i haven't even watched howls moving castle or whatever it's called, i just know that they look so similar haha. the cahara vibes are deffo there too!! what with all the rogue vibes going on :D ugh... got me thinking abt how badly i want a lover like cahara now </3 that man is DEDICATED. so funny that everyone goes to the dungeon for pretty grand and inspiring reasons and cahara is just like: wanna get rich for my wife :^( loser lover boy <3
ANYWAY sorry for the cahara rant i just feel so much for every single funger character (termina included!!). im also gonna do an ending C on termina TONIGHT so it's on the mind.
VALEN is so pretty it's unfair, need to milk that milf mommy so bad you don't understand... my gears are already turning... i've never once been more attracted to the women in a farming/otome game but the yuri vibes of mistria are so STRONG ur so right... i wanna write about em all so bad once i get more used to the story/characters <3
thank u so much for the kind words, and i hope u have so much fun in the game too!! MWAH!
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āļø rant about HMHAS!!! i love this album omg im listening to it for the first time ahhhh
AHHH YAY HI OMG
btw i literally adore you and your asks answering these asks makes me so happy i love yapping <33 fair warning this is one of my current hyperfixations so this is a LOT and you do not have to read all of it lmao (i didn't even realise how much there was until i'd written it all im so sorry ššš)
hmhas is literally one of my favourite albums it's one of the few albums where i genuinely can't find a song i dislike
im gonna go through each song bc i have no self control and i adore them all oops i love yapping
okay so skinny OH MY GODDDD makes me sob it's so :((( it hits me right in the heart and i am obsessed with songs that make me feel something so this is one of my favs from the album i loveee her vocals in it and my fav lyrics are "when i step of the stage, i'm a bird in a cage, i'm a dog in a dog pound. and you said i was a secret, but you didn't get to keep it" it's so AHHHHH and also "but the old me is still me and maybe the real me and i think she's pretty" because it's so relatable it makes me cryyy
lunch!!!! what a fucking bop!!!! i've ranted a lot abt this song on this blog so i'm gonna try to keep this precise (lmao impossible) i think this song altered my brain chemistry. im a BIG fan of songs i can dance to and this is such an ass shaking song so its absolutely perfect. also THE MUSIC VIDEO AHFHSBXBAJANA. the lyric "she's the headlights, i'm the deer" literally AHHHH so mecore i am indeed a deer in the headlights. (also this song live is IMMACULATE)
CHIHIRO MY BELOVED. I AM OBSESSED NO ONE UNDERSTANDSSSSS UGH also spirited away/and studio ghibli references make me unbelievably happy!! THE VOCALS THE BEAT THE EVERYTHING I HAVE NO WORDS AHFHAABCNEHSB i don't even have a favourite lyric just like the whole song is so omg omg omg!!!! also the meaning behind it is so :(((( (at least how i interpret it)
BIRDS OF A FEATHERRRRR i love love i love this and it's gonna be in heartstopper which just makes it even better. i love happy songs this is such a dancing around the kitchen while baking song (also a long car drive to the beach kinda song) i adore this song no one understandsss i love love i hope someone feels like this about me one day ughhh. fav lyrics (there's a lot but I've written so much already sooo) "and i don't know what i'm crying for, i don't think i could love you more"
okay wildflower. wildflower my absolute beloved the love of my life. i love this song with my whole heart and no one understands it as much as me. "BUT I SEE HERRRR IN THE BACK OF MY MINDDDD ALL THE TIMEEEE LIKE A FEVERRRR LIKE I'M BURNING ALIVEEEE LIKE A SIGN" "i know you didn't mean to hurt me so i kept it to myself" AHHHHHHHHHHH literally on repeat on my mind every night when I'm trying to sleep this is my song this is my song no one understands this is like the halley's comet of hmhas i could go on about it forever and ever and ever but i'm already yapping so i'll stfu
you're probably sick of me by now if you've even read this far but we still have more songs and i've committed i'm so sorry ahfhandbajba i'll try to make the rest shroter
THE GREATESTTTTT literally sobbing screaming crying these lyrics it's so ughhhh its a littleeeee too relatble "and you don't wanna know how alone i've been, let you come and go, whatever state i'm in" OH MY GOD BILLIE YOU DIDNT HAVE TO RIP MY HEART OUT šššš the soft vocals and the guitar ughhhhh im in loveeee AND THE SWITCH TO THE FULLY BELTING OUT THE LYRICS AND THE DRUM AND UGHHH NEVER GETTING OVER THAT
l'amour de ma vie oh my goddddd i love how she drags out the vocals and the synths and oh my goddddd the lyrics and it's somehow such a ass shaking song despite the depressing lyrics?? and the laugh after "but you moved on... immediately" AHHHH i adore when signers put little laughs or voice notes or something in their songs it makes me so :)))) i adore the extended edit it's such a bop and it's lowkey the best part of the song
THE DINER WHAT A FUCKING BOP i'm obsessed with it even though it originally reminded me of kahoot music it now reminds me of don't smile at me which is my fav ep ever soooo i love itttt I'm obsessed (and the number at the end??? that was so cool)
i adoreeee bittersuite part of it reminds me of i didn't change my number from happier than ever and i loveeee that i love the synths in it and the "if this is how i die, that's alright" part drives me insaneee also I LOVE the transition from bittersuite to blue
BLUEEEEE LITERAL LOVE OF MY LIFE im so glad she released it the vocals are insane and the links to skinny (bird in a cage) and birds of a feather drive me insaneee also i love that it has two parts hehe
okay yapping over i love you <33
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i wanna hear about your ocs so bad
omg jaime yayyyyy
so im just gonna rant abt pricila cuz sheās one of my favorites and i kinda made her a self insert along with quill. and pricila is aroace and autistic and I project a lot on her but unlike me sheās really calm and super strong
she could take down a fuck ton of the monsters they come across but her friends forget that and sort of just underestimate her and it pisses her off to no end.
i realllyyyyy enjoy thinking abt her character because in her little character arc I really wanna just include how she always felt left out because she knew she was different but never knew why (i mean being on 3 different spectrums could make you think that) and itāll show how she came to terms with that and how she could have everyone else be there for her other than Anthony and quill (her best friends)
they all love her and she knows that but sometimes she just canāt tell and I canāt wait to see how ill develop this series because pricilas character is so complex and i love her soooo much
I love her so hereās sum stuff i think is nice to include abt her
-has to be hugged with the strength to break her ribs because the pressure is nice :)
-started getting really jealous that all her friends were together and she would never feel that
-she jumps up and down a lot idk
-gave a bully a broken nose in highschxool cuz he spread a rumor that she gave the teachers head to keep her grades up
ugh jaime ily for the oc asks <333
#idk if u wanted to hear abt all of them but hereās my precious little baby who can do no wrong in my eyes#hi jaime !!#ariās unhinged#ocs#my ocs#ariās awesome ocs
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ok its rant time!!!! about ttpd ofc so be prepared lol
i just finished it (and immediately started relistening) and oh. my. god.
i think 'peter,' 'the bolter,' 'down bad,' 'the albatross,' and sm more were my favourites!!!
but peter by far the most bc ADHJKAHSF. THE BRIDGE. IM UNWELL. 'forgive me, peter, please know that i tried to hold on to the days when you were mine, but the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.' STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. WHAT. literally sobbing wtf. bc i cant go a moment without referencing percy jackson, this one rly reminded me of piper and jason's break up from piper's pov (just replace 'peter' with 'jason'!!!).
um. ok anyways :) now imma talk abt the bolter!!! so!!! (im unironically listening to it rn - ttpd is on shuffle and it just came on lmaoo). i dont have much to say abt this one; just that its good and idk i liked it lmao. but omg the 'but as she was leaving, it felt like breathing.' idk it just hit different and i loved it sm. THE BRIDGE TOO OMG<3 its so catchy i love it.
'down bad' is so incoherent screaming. i love love love that song aaaahhh!!!!!! the first verse was so good; 'did you really beam me up, in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on?' and also 'for a moment, i knew cosmic love.' im unwell.
'the albatross' ok i'd also like to say, out of all the bonus track edition thingys, i liked the cover for the albatross edition the best!!!! it was just so ttpd to me idk. 'and when the sky rains fire on you, and you're persona non grata, i'll tell you how i've been there too.' ugh i loved the bridge for this one^ (side note - "persona non grata" means unwelcome person).
oh and also!!! 'chloe or sam or sophia or marcus' RIPPED MY HEART OUT. dont mind me just violently sobbing to 'so, if you wanna break my cold heart, say that you loved me just the way you were' like actually stop this i cannot. and omg 'could it be enough just to float in your orbit?' NO. sTOp. i cant anymore that entire verse was just gut wrenching.
i also liked so many others but i cant remember those rn so um. thats it for now!!!! overall i loved the album (or double album bc like WHAT??)
#somehow jason grace finds his way into every song i listen to#i just love him ok :(#anyways#back to taylor swift#i also liked 'florida!!!' and florence + the machine's verse was so good#as for what i was disappointed by - i can fix him (no really i can) - it just wasnt what i expected and yeah!!!#still good tho#taylor definitely delivered with this one#tho tbh i did like the second half of the album (the anthology) more than the first half im sorryš#'guilty as sin?' is incredible too!!!#ok i'm gonna stop now lmao#i could go on forever#taylor swift#ttpd#the tortured poets department#down bad#the albatross#the bolter#peter by taylor swift#ts11#tortured poets department
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