#EFF IT IM POSTING
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tw// discussion of postpartum depression and depression in generalā¦ this is a long post of random Della thoughts
Okay, so I've been thinking about that post I just reblogged a lot because I really the concept of Theory 4 (I know it's sad but it feels so real). I just have minor adjustments in my head. For instance, I personally don't see Della caring about the triplets father at all. Like, my guy was definitely not involved. I really see Della as a free spirit, and I canāt really see her ever wanting to be in a committed relationshipā¦ Wow, I'm sorry, I make everything about her sad. In my brain/headcanon world, every relationship she has had always crashes and burns because she doesn't like feeling tied down. Sheās always runningā¦. Anyway, about the postpartum depression, I feel like she suffered so badly from itā only not in the way where she wanted to hurt them lol. She just didn't feel bonded or connected and became depressed from that. That's why she was avoidant and would seem at times (to her family) like she wasn't being "responsible". Along with the depression, they also served as a reminder that everything is going to change. So what does she do? She runs.
I love the explanations for Donald and Scrooge under Theory 4. Head-on-the-nail for their thought process and feelings. But yeah, she finally thinks of the SOS and for the first time in months, feels something other than the nagging continuous depression. She thinks that if she can go the distance, do something as extraordinary as space travel, that it will prove things can still be the same and even potentially propel her out of her depressed state. She won't have to "settle down" as sheās constantly being reminded. I don't think it was to get away from her responsibility, I think she was completely overwhelmed and conflicted because of the effects of postpartum.
Being on the moon brings her entirely new traumas. Instead of getting help and speaking out when she was on earth, sheās now literally trapped. Her isolation is, obviously, no longer in her head. Queen, I'm so sorry (as if I'm talking to her LOL). Damn, she really was stranded on the moon by herself for a decade! Her untreated depression worsens into something entirely new (PTSD...!).
She obviously loves the triplets. I think that, relatively quickly, her time on the moon, when things went from bad to worse, her idea worked in a way? It certainly was something to knock her out of her āfunkā (postpartummm). The kids are her motivation to keep fighting. She would take care of them. She would make it all up. She was committed, but how the duck was she supposed to think that anything could go wrong when Scrooge McDuck built this for her? Encouraged her to go for it? He always kept her safe and so on and on and on. She tried to free herself following his example and lost everything in her search for how things used to be (insert that Frank post about Scrooge betting it all and willing to rebuild from scratch if he looses everything).
It just seems like she was dealing with a lotā especially internally. So much was happening at once. My girl got so mentally ill. Like, being alive is so complicatedā¦ Deylaā¦ I feel like she had a lot of highs and lows, but the lows were more often, common, and longer. One day she would feel like, āThis is awesome. My kids are going to be the coolest and I can't wait to show them everything,ā then the following week is unending flow of, āThereās too much to do and so many ways to screw up. Why is there so much that goes into taking care of them? They canāt really expect me to stay in the mansion for months on end right? I want to take care of them. I canāt take care of them. Donald thinks he knows everything. I'm a failure. Theyāre just eggs. What am I supposed to do with that? Yep, I feel soooo bonded... Iām a bad mom. Why donāt I feel the way that I should?ā But of course, sheās stubborn and doesnāt tell anyone. So Donald labels her as irresponsible, and Scrooge donāt really gaf tbh because he thinks it will all smooth over and be fine as soon as they hatch. Troll goes ahead and builds SOS and the rest is history. Iām not really sure where I meant to go with this. I drew fanart the other night thinking about this, rediscovered that post I reblogged, and now here I am typing the thought process of a duck that I headcanon to have had postpartum depression. This is all just random and just what I think. I'm sure there are other posts like this but I just spent all this time typing this out so I figure, why not post? Goodnight.
#and nerp she would never tell anyone about it even after she returns#she doesn't even consider postpartum ever being something that she could have#sorry if this is a mix of things that have already been said#but tbh i could read hundreds of the same posts about ducktales reworded in different ways and still eat them up every time#i need to do my homework#derp#EFF IT IM POSTING#my thoughts
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grinding on their boot while they hold my face in both hands and tell me how pretty i am and how much they love me uhngngnhhgggrh FUCK
#eff yaps#i feel so. So. SOSOSOOSOososososoos close to giving up on this edging thing#76!#HOURS IS!!! oh god i wanna kill mys-#i cant touch myself without crying now :) 12 hours in :)#anywaaaaywaysywy UGH IM so fucking high lmao hi hello#i feel so weird posting on tumblr now uhhhh#I got used to twitters character limit oops
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i think it's so cute how f calls the detective 'our detective'.
#they're the most adorable#im in love with them#grapecase posts#i mean not allmy detectives wouldapprove but eff them#f them!#f hauville#twc detective#twc
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I cannot even picture Aizen in the final fight with that fucking dead expression. "Welcome to my Soul Society" and "now I can stand in your way" lines delivered in that empty robotic monotone and most think its gonna be good?
"He's been in a sensory deprivation jail for two years"
Did we forget Soul Reapers have inner worlds they can go to? And also Aizen is a transcended godlike being who can walk just fine on his legs after being in prison?? Talk just fine with his voice? Who has mental fortitude beyond everyone around him to the point he can cut down his own followers without a flinch? Did we forget he has Hogyoku which can infinitely protect him???
He was already broken. He is inherently a broken man and his previous personality portrays it so much better! People don't become empty husks when they break. They become spiteful little fucks full of rage who do terrible things. You think this man would humiliate himself for the Gotei 13, the people who lead to this sensory deprivation "torture"? By that logic he has no fucking reason to even care enough to leave Muken. He is supposed to be the one person you can't break by simply locking him away underground.
Did we forget that in his final battle with Ichigo, he lost because he felt an end to his loneliness for the first time in centuries??? Why is he worse now?????
Aizen having his sad moment after the fight is much more satisfying narratively then walking on scene dead-eyed!
This change was not made out of love for his character.
#aizen#bleach tybw#im saying my piece again because i want to address then in more than just post replies#look i cant turn off how much i cared about his character and how much it breaks my heart to see him reduced to a worn out hasbeen#you know what eff it im allowed to make as many posts about this as i want#i will annoy everyone because im annoying inherently#one person left good tags on my lonely aizen post which kinda inspire me to reiterate things
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That dumbass "pro Palestine" account harassing my friend via anon and told us "I hope you white women suffer under Trump" really made me wanna say:
VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS
VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS
VOTE KAMALA HARRIS
To the piece of shit sending stupid anons to people about my post, I care about your one issue as you much as you care about mine. š„¹š
Anyways...
VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS
VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS
#kamala harris#politics#donald trump#us politics#lmao#lots of gif usage#long post#educating morons on how i want to vote even more now the more i get attacked#these pendejos dont know my a/ss#me being obnoxious#flashing#but hey VOTE KAMALA HARRIS VOTE KAMALA HARRIS#im a minority in a land about to eff people like me up soooo... VOTE KAMALA VOTE KAMALA HARRIS š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£#VOTE KAMALA HARRIS#im latina queer AND disabled aka everything trump HATES#i aint gonna burn to keep your warm and i don't want others who are even in worse moments than me and vulnerable to either#there's so many vulnerable populations and you're acting like we're a rich megaforce that controls the government#we're just people you moron
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The urge to draw country ragapom even though i have like 5 other things to finishā¦
#SOMEBODY SEDATE MEEEE#i mafe this post and forgot tonpost it#ehat the eff#anyway#how exciting.. something new to my wip pile#im a country gal š
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Magic Hour by tuesday_piracy
Rating: T
Pairing: Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Potter
Summary: Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy live very different lives from one another, but when time and fate gets intertwined and tangled, they find themselves magically swapping bodies and on a journey to meet each other for the first time. Meanwhile, a star approaches.
Tags: Soulmate AU, Body Swapping, Your Name AU, Not Canon-Compliant, Light Fluff, Light Humour, Light Angst etc
(Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9)
Chapter 10: āHe knew how Albus dealt with people like Karl, and thought about how different it was to how Scorpius handled it. The truth was, he didnāt. He spent the entire time holding his breath and waiting for the moment to be over, wishing to be invisible, wishing he didnāt have to exist with the knowledge that people were looking at him. He didnāt want to be anyone important. He had never had the desire for significance before. He wasnāt worth being picked on, but when he was, he wasnāt worth being defended, not even by himself.
But Albus defended Scorpius, and he defended himself too. Every time.
So perhaps it was because Scorpius had to be worth something now; Albus wouldnāt defend a nobody with no self-respect. Or, perhaps Scorpius felt he was worth more only because he was holding the body of someone worth more.ā
#no double updateā¦ ive been workin like a dawgggg almost had no time to even post this el em eff ae oh#hopefully i can post the next one on thursā¦. hopefullyā¦. but who even knows atp š¤£š¤£#pre christmas grind crazy (i did nothing in november)#its currently 1:44am rn and im not even home soā¦. gives u a good idea of me being busy and popular and grinding for money#harry potter#hp#hpcc#cursed child#scorpius malfoy#albus severus potter#scorbus#albus potter#karl jenkins#harry potter and the cursed child#your name#kimi no na wa#albius#hpng#hp nextgen#hp next gen#polly chapman#rose granger weasley#lily luna potter#james sirius potter#jalice#<- they get a shout out#draco malfoy#narcissa black#my fics#rewriting
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me when i GET HIM
#aahhhhhhhā¦.. his own little room#hes got a pot to piss in and a loving caretaker (me!!!!!!)#hes so awkward i love it#i wanna see him scared and shivering#clawing at the door like a dog. handcuffs cutting into his wrists#j#are pee eff#sorry i dont post regularly anymore.#!!!!! im insecure and think everything i type sucks
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Can John and Hoffman just pass me back and forth and use me as their own personal sex toy please please please please
#john kramer#mark hoffman#saw movies#saw#im drunk now and will regret posting this later prob#en es eff double yew
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i have to keep tweeting forever
#got my period and had some coffee. guys once im done posting i swear to god we're gonna get back to work#eff#packing orders + design work + emails + open comms OK?#cleaned yesterday and going to the studio + post office tomorrow OK?
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the best part of his books is that light and love and trust and laughter are the strongest forces in the world
which seems odd for horror novels about the apocalypse but
it really feels like the ethos of these books is that the brightest parts of humanity can triumph over anything, both the darkest recesses of humanity and incomprehensible, alien, ageless horrors
that's why i re-read these books, not because the concepts are cool or I really like his descriptions (though I do like these things)
it's the real, human friendship and love he depicts in the worst moments of people's lives, it's the characters that learn what really matter and to forgive and trust and move on together and i will hold them all in my heart forever
so many people would break, would lose themselves to that darkness. to the anger, the terror, the horror of the world. but, despite moments of rage, of weakness, of selfishness, these kids, they always come back, they always triumph
#im writing this with a lot of confidence for someone who hasn't read the devil's engine#i'm really excited to now but i also have that need to reread furnace#because i think if theres one thing that will stay with me forever#its that damn series#you know that feeling when you finish a book and you're sad and you don't know what to do with yourself?#yeah#text post#ags#alexander gordon smith#the fury#the storm#escape from furnace#eff this#fury/storm
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cringetobers 1 (heterochromia) and 2 (self insert)
#link four swords#molts sona#shhhoulddd i tag eff en eff?. . sure.#friday night funkin#im burnt out as hell im definitely not doing most of the prompts. but whatever. this shits old. ill post more old shit mb#cringetober
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#vis#[[i cant even post on the right person just leave me behind yall holy eff idk if i can be helped lmao]]#[[i did say in my tags on the wrong person that im sorry for spamming pics#and being trash at actual reps]]
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It really sucks to comment on a post in a mildly joking or even entirely sincere manner and immediately get blocked. I absolutely realize people block other people on this website at the drop of a hat, but as an autistic person with scrupulosity my immediate reaction is that I would like to be able to tell someone Iām sorry for dropping the hat in the first place and that I didnāt mean to be rude.
Like, Iām not even saying it because I feel the need to be unblocked! I just need to tell them that it wasnāt meant to be annoying or rude, and I donāt hate them or anything. I mean, I canāt say itās healthy that my OCD compels me to want to be unblocked and absolved for all myĀ āsinsā, but I can live with it and Iām fine with just feeling a little pang of sadness when Iām unable to like a post. Iām working on not having that happen either, but itās very hard work, unlearning everything your brain as it was naturally made says you should feel.
And itās just frustrating to me because it shows that even after near meteoric improvement in my social skills as Iāve gotten older (and also medicine), that itās still hard for me to successfully assess social situations and comedy on a website where being rude is taken as funny over 75% of the time but thereās that other 25%ā¦ I often do literally add ā(I am exaggerating for comedic effectā)Ā as to make it more clear that this is intended as comedy, andā¦ I guess itās odd to me thatās treated as suspicious or something? Like, that nobody takes anyone else in good faith? I understand itās a fools effort online, but I do genuinely try to be entirely sincere in my interactions online.
Like the automatic assumption that Iām not engaging sincerely when Iām trying to signal the exact opposite is both understandable and completely frustrating,
Just.. itās like. People mock you if you engage with something sincerely, they mock you if you try to fit in, they mock you if youāre too rude, too nice, it feels frustrating when it feels like no matter what I do or whether I point out I am making a joke and not serious or play it straight, that I canāt get it right.
Itās not even about being blocked, really, (Iām lying my OCD hates it), it just hurts being confronted with the fact Iām almost two and a half decades into life and I still fail at basic social interaction despite my best efforts and despite the fact that I really am trying.
#to be clear#i am aware this is an entirely unhealthy emotional reaction#thats why all my conditions are called ādisordersā lmao#i just needed to be sad and hurt a little#that honest communication online is so impossible#it does make sense but I just hate that thereās no societies out ther#(to my limited knowledge)#that like just practice being entirely emotionally honest in conversation#so saying something about how you intend something to be received is perceived as bad faith#autism#actuallyautistic#ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#scrupulosity#moral scrupulosity#this technically is a vaguepost about a mildly (at least in my eyes) rude comment on apoll that I did say I was exaggerating for comedic eff#and realize afterward my comment had been deleted and I was blocked#i donāt blame them btw#i can see how it was a rude comment#but I intended it to come off as the standard tumblr playful rudeness given I said it was made in jest#and clearly it must have been more rude than I thought#vent#blocking#to be clear no one needs to feel bad about blocking me hahaha#im just severely mentally ill lmao#my posts
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Your last 6 posts being Wimbledon related š are we entering a full time tennis girlie era??
me giggling all limp wristedly like andreyš¤
#answered#I swear I get fomo sometimes bc I love the goofy lil sport n my faves sm & donāt post as much as id like to#so I was likeā¦erm eff it this is my houseā¦im a tennis girlie n a footie girlie n whatever else catches my attention#part of me was tempted to make a tennis sideblog but then I was likeā¦lemme keep all my sports posts on one<3#for me n my four or five tennis smoochuals to enjoyš¤š«¶š½
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your Gordon is so fucking friend shaped. and dad shaped
THANKS i love fat gordon. we need more bears being really cool and i mean this
#asks#hlvrai#ALL THESE ASKS ARE SO NICE LMAO it tempts me into posting the scar ref/shirtless doodle i did of him#its nothing en es eff doubleyou of course!!!! but im still shy LMFAOOOOOOO
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