#ALSO ive been at my work almost a year now!!!!!! damn!!!!!!

[ambrosykim]

crazy how fast january comes around every year

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

[watarfallar]

Still got the brain worms

Grian: Are you good? Scar: In what sense? Grian: Generally. Scar: Oh, definitely not.

Scar: Wait you like me? For my personality? Grian: I know, I was surprised too.

Grian: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Scar: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Grian: They're not. Scar: Haha, very funny. Grian: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Scar: No… what happened? Grian: …Why would you fall for this again-

Grian: Why are you on fire? Scar: This is just how my day is going.

Grian: DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY? IT WASNT. NOBODY IS LAUGHING. Grian: pulls up a graph THIS IS WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR JOKE, YOU HAVE SINGLE HANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY! IVE ALSO ASKED MANY COMEDY SCHOLARS ON THEIR OPINION OF YOUR JOKE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY! Scar: I've been researching comedy for the past 20 years, and I have genuinely never seen a joke this bad. We have used quantum physics to look into alternate universes to see every joke made, and yours was still by far the worst. Grian: CONGRATULATIONS! YOUVE SINGLE HANDEDLY CREATED THE WORST JOKE IN HUMAN HISTORY! HERES A MEDAL! pulls up a horrible ms paint drawn star that says "you need help

Grian: I believe in you, Scar! Scar, to themself: God, I must suck. The nicest thing Grian can think to say to me is that they don’t doubt my existence.

Grian: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza. Scar: What? Grian: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom. Scar: So a calzone? Grian: You can’t just name things I dream up.

Scar: Good morning! Grian: Is it? Is it really?

Scar: Grian just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.

Grian: But that’s censorship. Scar: Well done. You are correct. You’re being censored. Now go.

Scar: So I was just having a conversation with Grian about Star Wars; particularly, about the choice of architecture. The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TOO DAMN HIGH! Like, who designs architecture like this? Catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids. Giant holes to nowhere! Grian: It's by design. It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time. Scar: Like… who the fuck put this hole here???? And why???? Grian: Exhaust? Scar: Darth Maul falls down a hole, Palpatine falls down a hole, Solo falls down a hole, everyone falls down a hole! Star Wars universe needs OSHA. Grian: Luke falls down a hole, Boba Fett falls down a hole… Scar: Yes, yes, I forgot about those! R2-D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive. Grian: We're onto something here! Scar: Obi-Wan almost falls down a hole. Grian: C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole. Scar: His lightsaber does though. Grian thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes Scar: What if the hole is symbolic? The hole represents the dark side. Grian: Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side. Scar: Fair point.

Grian: How long do you think it'll take? Scar: I don’t know, three or four. Grian: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months? Scar: Yeah, maybe five. Grian: Five what?!

Scar: Ah shit, I forgot. Grian: Forgot what? Scar: How do you expect me to answer that?

Scar: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you. Scar: Ask me to kill for you. Grian: …First of all, calm down-

Grian: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Scar: Unless you're home alone.

Scar: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me. Grian: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

Grian: Act natural. Scar: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic. Grian: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day! Scar: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic. Grian: Will you just cooperate? Scar: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

Scar: venting endlessly to Grian about their week Grian, every once in a while: in a monotone Wow, that is so wild.

Grian: A banker? Me? Scar: Yes, Grian. Grian: But I don’t know anything about running a bank! Scar: Good. No preconceived ideas. Grian: I’ve robbed banks! Scar: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside.

At the police station Scar: Hi, I’m here for Grian. Police officer: Who’s Grian? Scar: Ah, you must be new.

[drdemonprince]

When other people say that they do not have enough time to get something done, they (often, if they're quite healthy) mean they are taking into account the time it takes to do the laundry and arrange new pieces of furniture and cook dinner and meet up with friends to see a movie and run to the post office or the hair dresser and take the dog for walks and do the dishes and paint their nails and drive to the store and go to their cousin's wedding and go to the barbecue their friend is throwing on the weekend

they don't winnow their life down to just spending time at the computer, working from when they wake up until they cannot focus their eyes anymore, granola bars, coffee, and bottles of water all around them because of course they did not take time to have lunch or breakfast, only dragging themselves away from work when they are truly too exhausted to do any of it anymore, and then lacking the energy to do much of anything that remains of life but to eat a tiny bit more, sponge themselves off, and go to sleep.

i just saw a video of a fursuiter on their bed, legs kicked back, head propped on their hands, delightedly announcing that after many years of hard work they had finally finished their Master's degree. And some part of me, some sick withered part, thought really? you had time to do a Master's degree while also getting a fursuit done? and going to conventions, presumably? you had time in the day to research fursuit makers, have a sona designed and drawn by someone else (or to draw it yourself), to contact a maker to make a duck tape dummy of yourself, and to have a friend over to help you make it and to cut it off of you, to send it in the mail to the maker, to then get it and make videos? you had time to set up this beautiful bedroom that i see in your video, with a soft pink sham on the bed and LED lights behind your bookshelf and lamps and all kinds of stuffed toys? you had a life? you were out playing, and dancing, and pursuing your hobbies, and you did a master's degree?

because when i was working on my doctorate, there was nothing. three layers of foam on the floor with a fitted sheet over it. a folding card table from aldi that had cost $40 that my grandparents got me. no food in the fridge. no time to even get the internet installed, just stolen wi-fi when my laptop could pick it up. i woke up, got dressed, and slunk into the office. i sat alone in the dark working until my hunger made me furious and i could not write another word. and then i walked to the grocery store, got something to subsist on, went home, ate, kickboxing video, went to sleep. every day. with almost nothing breaking the routine.

and ive gotten better, so much better, but my brain still kind of works that way. i feel like i have to quit my job and stop being a writer if i want to have hobbies. to paint my bedroom. to marinate a meat for longer than fifteen minutes. to get a driver's license again. to take a trip. but i dont want to be like that any more. how do people know when to stop? i feel like i have to give everything my absolute all until there is nothing left or else i have done nothing. i feel that i would have to treat a hobby like a job to get it done. I feel that anything that takes more than two minutes is a huge waste of time i must feel guilty for. i am working on all these things. jesus i have been working on them for years at this point. but because i have been so successful at telling people to do less, i get pulled in. interview. workshop invitation. email. urgent in the subject line. call from my agent. meeting request from my boss. new book idea, better sell it now while my sales figures still look good. recording studio session. deadline. writing. can you talk about this. can you talk about that. tag. email. book idea. deadline. long heartfelt email. still so often i have to take my own damn advice.

and this is why i am getting a fursuit made!! and going to cons! and going to leather and latex events! and making socials that are separate for these things!! i am going to let myself be silly and soft and do frivolous things. i am so sick of what i do to myself, all the pursuit of seeming like a strong mature adult.

[k9emote]

And just to add on! I never said my "art" was 100% by me I simply just didn't tell people, hate to say it but ive actually given up on being an artist because of people like you. I've commissioned and gave you money, and your friends money for art yet you still want to complain about me using somthing almost 4 months ago now to help me put food on the table. What you don't seem to understand is ain't nobody gonna tell you their entire life on the internet. You have no idea what a person could be going through yet you still sent your server of over 3000 people after a 15 year old girl who was just trying to enjoy creating something.

To say that I was "suicide baiting" is crazy because when did I EVER mention killing myself.

And one last thing, your sever is a cult. It's also fucking disgusting. A cesspool of brainless children looking for online relationships. You, yourself being included. It's a breeding ground for grooming and such things. You disgust me. The fact I have multiple screenshots of you saying you were "gods favorite lamb" please get a damn life dude. Your mental unwellness actually is a joke. The way you are open about your disgust for fat people is repulsive. You can't blame trauma on everything hope this helps xx

Your words speak for themselves on your character.

I am not disgusted by fat people. My current partner is plus sized. I asked for advice once on our perspective of incredibly unhealthy overweight people, and if feeling sick when seeing them made us a bad person. Our ex was morbidly obese due to her feederism and v0re kink. she bragged about being overweight to us and sexualized it. She wrote fanfics about force feeding us. She fetishized our ED. She roleplayed vore and feederism nightly behind our back with strangers while we were sleeping in vc together. We are working on untainting the mark she left on us, and that process is not for you to discredit or spread rumors about.

I'm not giving you consequences. I am protecting people and safespaces by alerting them of your repeated abusive behavior to keep people safe. The world does not revolve around you. You are receiving NATURAL CONSEQUENCES for being an ABUSIVE LIAR. No matter your age.

Drop the guilt tripping. Tracing over AI you were generating for art trades was not putting money on the table. You "never said the art was 100% yours", are you fucking serious? Your story of being the victim grows every time you speak. You being 15 does not mean you get to do whatever you want and expect nothing but pity. We tried to help. Us and our mods were there for you to vent to even after you admitted to shit talking us in the past. You did this to yourself.

Blacking out your entire profile and sending cryptid goodbyes to my entire staff team, even people you had never spoken to, is suicide baiting. When we blocked you on our main you found our ALT and sent the same short goodbye message. That comes off strongly as implying suicide.

For the love of god I'm not harassing you I'm just not letting you spit on my name using baseless rumors because you're upset you got caught. What the fuck did you think would happen?

I sent NO ONE after you and I am near COMPLETELY confident you have not been harassed. I have said over and over again to not harass you when I put out info on you to ban for members safety. That is NOT harassment. Your victim complex is insane.

Also. My server is not a "cult" and saying that to a survivors face is repulsive. It isn't a word to throw around and you make me sick. Please leave me alone. Stop messaging me. Stop threatening me. Stop lying about me. It will not make people feel bad for you. It will not make you feel better.

[alexias-left-foot]

Benção

Ive been writting this one for a while.

!Dont know if i will keep writting on this universe

Wrote this one while listening to a portuguese song, (dont ask please), link below

!Im not english, so im sorry for any spelling mistake!

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You know, she is probably still mad at me- you said to Mapi and Ingrid while making your way to the dressing room- If i tell her she won't probably talk to me ever again.

Cmon she knows you y/n! She has to understand that there is something more important going on. You have to tell her or she is going to break up with you. You can't hide it anymore. You have been so stressed, she is going to notice even more- Ingrid answered you.

You “have a kid”. Not you, but your ex. Your ex was pregnant 1 YEAR AND A HALF AGO! Now you have a kid with 9 months . Before you both broke up, almost 2 years ago, you both were trying to have a baby but it never worked, at least you thought that. Turns out you were wrong! She was pregnant all this damn time, had a kid and didn't tell you anything till last night. 

Last week after your away easy win 6-0 against Valencia she, and your baby, were in the public. She asked you to talk with her, which was clearly strange. Then she told you that the kid that was sleeping like a little angel was yours. She also told you all of a story but you just did not pay any attention to her still in shock looking at the sleepy kid in the grey pram. She told you that didn't want the baby anymore and wanted to give the kid up for adoption and wanted to inform you about it. You were arguing with her and ended up saying that you would stay with the sleepy baby. She was a bit shocked but agreed and told you you have a couple of weeks till you have to go get the baby or the baby was going to be adopted. You just agreed and said that will keep in touch.

Ona saw you both talking and, of course didnt like it, mainly cause of the love story you and your ex had. She was really jealous and didnt talked to you until you were both at home. Where you both fought because  she was jealous of your ex. She clearly made some movies on her head but you didnt want to keep arguing with her, it was a long day and you were so tired, so you just slept on the couch so you could get your head cleared.

 Things got a bit better but you didn't tell her, not yet. Only Mapi and Ingrid know about it, they are your best friends and you needed to talk to someone so you talked to them. They were clearly in shock when you told them that but decided to help you. That's what they are trying to do now.

“Now let's go to practice so you can clear your mind a bit, vale”?- Mapi sayed while squeezing your cheek

Practice was fine but you weren't really present there, which made your teammates worried 

“You need to tell her” Mapi said in the locker room. Mapi was right. You needed to tell her.

After a ride home that looked like an eternity, you were both at home. 

You were both watching some trash tv when she breaked the weird silence.

“Hey, what's going on? You´ve been a bit strange since you talked with your ex” Ona said with a worried look. “I have something to tell you, bebé, I just don't know how to tell you” You said while the brunette looked with an even more worried look “I-I have a baby. I didn't knew it, my ex told me after the game against Valencia, that's what we were talking about. She wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but I just couldn't tell her to do it, when I looked at that little baby sleeping in such an innocent cute way. I didn't knew what to do or say to you, i'm so so sorry…” you gasped and took your eyes full of tears out of the  floor to look at Ona who looked at you in shocked “You have a-a Kid?” she repeated while you nodded “And the kid is going to live with us” you nodded again. A minute of silence was made by both of you. Both of your hearts pumping fast 

“I think I can handle that '' she smacked your arm, with a soft small smile on oour face, joking at you who were in  tears by now. 

She looked a bit unsure because of her smile being so small, but you just hugged her in a really sad but sweet hug. 

“ Hey, hey, stop crying, okay you whiny? I'm here, I'm gonna help you through this, okay mi amor?I love you!” She was still making fun of you but she was as scared as you. It was her way to defend herself, being sarcastic and funny but you loved it even if it makes never be sure if she is scared or not.

“I love you too Oni, thanks for being here…” You managed to say while tears were rolling down your face and starting to get Ona´s eyes.

[lily-alphonse]

Rarepair Sam/Shane joja dorks

I love Sam and Shane. If they dont have a ship name Im calling them Sunnyside (for nonenglish speakers, “sunnyside up” is a way to cook eggs without flipping, so its both a reference to eggs and the sun)

Toxic or nontoxic, I love it. Give me the daddy issues angst. Give me the power imbalance. But also could be sweet! Shane learns to love life again by seeing it through Sam’s eyes. If I was actually going to write it I think I might lean more toxic, I love leaning into Shane’s worst traits (wonder why there are no Shane fics on my main account hmm?)

BUT with these asks Ive been making them all sweet and shit so let me try to think of something for that. I’ll make the age gap like 7 years (23/30 maybe?).

(Future Lily here: I got carried away with this one, it's now an official ficlet that I'll be posting to AO3 too lol)

They’ve been friendly enough as coworkers for a while. Sometimes Shane will even humor him by engaging him in conversation at work. He actually doesn’t seem like a bad guy. Funny even, if you like a deadpan sort of humor. But he’s closed off anywhere else. On Friday nights Sam watches over the pool table as Shane gets so drunk he stumbles home.

He worries about him. Despite Shane’s reputation around town as someone to steer clear of, Sam cares about everyone. And he knows he’s one of the few people Shane will talk to at all.

Things seem to get worse with his drinking. He’s calling out at work more. Coming in late.

Sam starts to come out at night to watch and make sure he gets home okay. He’s usually up when the saloon closes anyway. On nights where Shane’s stumbling badly, Sam goes out into the cold and follows him just in case. You never know with alcohol poisoning. He’s seen it at a party once and never wants to see it again.

But he will if he has to.

One bad winter night he’s following Shane as he does, when they round the corner and he just disappears on the other side. Sam looks around, it’s exceptionally dark on this path into the forest. He’s considering turning the flashlight app on on his phone when he suddenly gets pinned against the nearest barren tree.

“Why the fuck are you following me?” Shane hisses, the alcohol thick on his breath.

“Shane what the fuck!” His heart is racing. Has Shane ever been this close to him before?

“No, you what the fuck! Answer me!”

“I’m just worried!”

Shane groans angrily and lets him go. “Perfect! Of course you’re fucking worried. Let me just add you to the Yoba-damned list of people to disappoint then. No- just don’t okay? Do me a favor and don’t.”

Sam doesn’t know what to say. Despite being a big guy, he doesn’t like confrontation. Never has. He just wants people to be happy.

But Shane seems to want an answer. He’s still standing there, huffing cloudy breaths into the night and staring.

So Sam meekly says what he is thinking. “I just want everyone to be happy.”

An explosive sound comes out of Shane that has Sam flinching, certainly the beginning of a rant, but then he stops as suddenly as he started. He deflates. When his voice comes out next it is weak and broken.

“Of course you do, Sam.” He sighs, and it sounds so sad Sam almost wishes he was angry again. “But maybe some people aren’t built to be happy.”

Sam steps closer to him, just wanting to see into his eyes again in the near darkness. “I don’t believe that,” Sam whispers, Shane looking up to meet his eyes again. “I don’t think you really believe that either.”

“No, you’re right… I think I was happy once. But that might be even worse. If I had never been happy this might hurt less.”

Shane’s eyes are glassy. He’s close enough to hug and Sam is tempted to, but resists. “What happened, Shane?”

“So much. Too much,” he gives a sharp, sort of rueful chuckle as he looks away. But his body stays close. Maybe its the cold that keeps him close, but his cheeks are flushed with heat. "You know I'm turning thirty soon?"

Sam bites his lip, tempted to make a joke. When Shane meets his eyes again though, he can't help it. "Actin' real sixteen to be thirty," he mumbles with a smirk.

Shane elbows him but laughs. "Shut the fuck up. Idiot."

"I'm right though."

"So am I."

"Yeah, I can be an idiot and also right."

Shane laughs again and shakes his head. "Yeah."

"So that's what's got you like this then? That you're turning thirty?"

Shane bites at the inside of his cheek. "Just puts things into perspective, I guess."

Sam nods, though he doesn't really understand. He looks up into the night sky as the silence stretches, eyes hopping from star to star. "D'you think I'll get like that when I'm thirty?"

Shane scoffs, so Sam looks down at him again. "Hard to imagine you ever being anything but nauseatingly positive."

Sam's smile widens. "I'll try and take that as a compliment."

"Course you would," he grumbles. After a moment of silence he speaks again. "Sam?"

"Hm."

"I don't actually want you to stop, by the way."

"I know." Sam leans forward and opens his arms, half-expecting to be pushed away. But Shane hugs him. He leans his head on Shane's and murmurs, "I won't."

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

@doggobrie you weren't alone on this one!

[4pfsukuna]

jealous!sukuna story here👇🏾

kings-get-jealous-to

Akward

The last thing Nanami kento expected to see at Gojo’s party (that he basically tricked him into going to) was his ex girl from 4 years ago in a black mini silk dress that if you just bent over a tad bit more—

“You alright man?” Gojo ask slapping his blonde hair friends back snapping him back to the reality where his cup of alcohol had been crushed completely in his hand.

He was sure of Two things in this moment.

His hand was wet and 2? He wasnt letting you get away again.

———

Incubus curse

After the mission Gojo sent you and Namami on to get rid of some incubus curse (which he didnt mention)  Nanami is shocked when you dont show up to the school the next day and decides to pay you a visit.

“I want you to bend me over every surface including my balcony until neither of us have any energy left… and then go for one more round”

Part two

What if Nanami is the one who suffers the effects of the incubus curse instead of you?

He felt fine and whatever silly little pink dust the cursed spirit sprayed mustve been just that, that’s until he catches a glimpse of you pinning one of the students to the ground and damn would he work endless amounts of overtime to be under you like that— what was he saying?! Shaking his head he almost completely looses it when he watches the way your ass jiggles in your shorts and wonders how back shots would be.

Its not long before hes back in his office gripping his length in his fist and bottom lip between his teeth to quiet his moans.

“Nanami you shouldve said something”

“Like what? How i want to have you moaning and beging to cum for a fifth time with tears in your eyes? Or that i want to watch your eyes get  wide as you swallow my dick taking it to the back of your throat like the good girl i know you are? Or that i want to fill you up with every drop of my seed to put my claim on you and my self control is dwindling because i can smell your arousal and i just want to burry my face in it” he says with pure raw desire as his eyes burn into mine.

——

Professor reward & punishment.

You suck at college math and luckily your neighbor who happens to be a proffessor offers to tutor you after you helped him out a few nights ago.

“Since you can’t seem to pay attention, for every answer you get right ill put in another finger and for every wrong answer you put clothes on reducing the friction.” He holds my jaw making sure im listening.

“And extra credit” i tease before he begins rolling his sleeves up the bulge of his muscles ans loosening his tie yanking aggresively.

A dark smirk reaches his lips that ive never seen before and ive never wanted to be more accurate in… whatever subject we were studying for again.

————

Jealous!Sukuna

You and sukuna had gone back and forth so much its almost like you forgot yuji was his vessel, almost like you forgot he was the king of curses.

But none of that mattered now you (23) and yuji also of age had comitted to getting drunk and letting loose for once.

Sukuna pays it no mind as you aimlessly flirt with some guy at the bar but your eyes are on him. Not the guy, not yuji but Sukuna who had taken over since yuji was to drunk to fight back.

He could easily burn the world to the ground and nothing could stop him except for the look in your eyes when your tounge trails up his abs to his chest tracing his tattoo that the only fire burning hes worried about is the one in your eyes.

“Id pleasure you in ways no woman in your 1000 years of existance could even think about” i smirk before flipping us over so im on top us still connected by our hips moving my hand from his wrist to his neck making him purr.

——

Dad!Sukuna

More of a drabble aka the 3 times his kids call him daddy and the one time you do.

“Get in the cage!” 

“Sukuna stop telling them that! Theres no cage”

“He put fucking smiley faces in my book of incantations” he growls showing me the smiley faces with red eyes, fangs and a crooked smile.

“Oooh he drew you is that why youre mad” i tease watching him seathe as the sound of footsteps running upstairs can be heard smoke nearly comes out of his ears and foam from his mouth.

“As shitty as the smiley face may be he drew it because of you, now stop being such a sourpuss! if you be nice ill even call you daddy and let you give me another little you” i peck his lips listening to the growl of disappointment from pulling away too fast.

“I don’t think i told them how much i love them today” He mumbles pulling me into his lap.

[pruneunfair]

"My feelings on" part 4: into the light once again and how it only takes a few gross tropes to taint what could've been a perfect piece of work.

I remember seeing the trailer for it so many times back in 2018 but I never got to read all of it since Tappytoons has a 30 ad policy just to get enough to buy on chapter. It's really good, wholesome families, sibling dynamics, a smart villain, and a magic system so the fantasy aspect wont be abandoned for cheap fanservice.

The protagonist used to be known as Alisa, 4th princess of Edenverre and was mistreated by family and servants with the exception of her younger sister, the golden child Marianne who is later revealed to be the mastermind behind the false accusations of poisoning Marianne Alisa faces. She is executed by her own family and comes back as the princess of the enemy empire Elmire, now known as Aisha she swears to one day get justice on her sister.

The revenge plot may be overrated but Into the light does it well enough that I could look past it. The politics and world building are fantastic and the element spirits low-key reminded me of gacha studio or genshin impact characters, and characters like Ashley and Mina aren't enemies for Aisha to defeat, they are people who make mistakes and are allowed to grow.

My favorite part of course is the villainess Marianne, she geninuely scares the hell out of me with her uncanny valley vibe she emits, there's always something so off about her and she reminds be almost of a monster who would star in the conjuring. Marianne has the ability to brainwash others and while I can't tell which, she either steals Alisas body or she causes an illusion affect to alter her and Alisas forms to the family of Edenverre (Really confusing but i like it) and while Marianne doesn't have as much screen time as I wished I enjoyed her while I could, because into the light treats Marianne with respect as an antagonist.

Marianne barely showing up may not even be a bad thing entirely, because while revenge is part of it, the story is built more on healing from your trauma and surrounding yourself with positive influences so it's reasonable that most chapters would center around Aishas powers and her family.

My only small gripe is a petty one but I'm pretty sure the author is an only child 😭. I'm not saying that Aisha and Ysis should be full on murdering eachother but their so unbelievably protective of eachothers feelings to the point of Ysis disliking the idea of any man wanting to marry his sister in the future, ive even seen some fans get concerned that it was going into a brothe-sister thing (especially when he was included as an option for men for Aisha to be attracted to ick)

As someone who has lived with 3 siblings, the excitement for a new baby sibling dies after 3 weeks at most. But hey, they do got a large palace, maybe Ysis just had the luxury of not needing to listen to his baby sister cry at night. I also don't understand why Ysis would immediately believe that Aisha was a reincarnated soul that could remember her past. Like I know he loves her but if my sister started to tell me she was the executed princess in a past life I'd be more concerned.

I wish I could say that was the only thing I didn't like.. unfortunately as much as I love into the light once again, it doesn't stay great for very long. That was my only small gripe because I have a lot of large problems with the love interests

Aisha is 14 and turns 15 at some point but for most of the series, she's a young teen and all her love interests are leaps and bounds older then her. Starting with the big one, Luminas, a 2000 year old king of light who meets Aisha WHEN SHES STILL A BABY!

"Damn, too early, ill give it 13 more years."

Not even the second male lead is safe, Veon is the youngest of the male leads and he's basically watched Aisha grow up since he was Ysis's friend. I can't remember his exact age but I know he is at least 20 which is just... that doesn't make it any better!. There's also apparently some dude named Arsen who's also at least 25 years old and one of Alisas childhood friends, I've heard people say he's another love interest but I haven't seen anything confirmed myself so I'll just hope my 2nd favorite character isn't going to be going after minors.

I'm starring to think the author has an age-gap fetish at this point.

Quick thing I wanted to bring up, a lot of the comments on this chapter have been uncomfortable not just with the age gap and pedophilic weirdness but also this dress. It doesn't look bad but it's built like a maternity dress and for some reason she looks pregnant in a lot of shots which just.. I'm gonna hope we're all just overthinking that one because the last thing this manhwa needs is implications that Aisha will get pregnant young.

While there is a lot of people who are rightfully uncomfortable with the 2000 year age gap, there is also a lot of people justifying it. "He treats Aisha well though!" "It was normal in that time!" "Your just being too soft! Let Aisha be happy!!"

Let me bring up some real history for minute.

This is Isabella of Valois during her wedding with Richard II, she is the youngest bride currently known about in the medieval era

Isabella was only 6 years old when she married her 29 year old husband.

This is Margaret Beaufort.

She was 12 when she got married to her 24 year old husband and 13 years old when she gave birth to Henry VII

And probably one of the more well known examples, Catherine Howard.

She could have been as young as 15 and as old as 17 when she married Henry VIII who was 49.

Now did these examples make your skin crawl? Did they make you feel disgusted? Well they should, just because it was normal in that era, doesn't mean it's all of a sudden fine. There isn't even the cheap excuse that Aisha is technically over 20 given her mental age since Alisa died at 14 and Aisha is very clearly still mentally a young teenager.

Luminas and Veon are definitely nowhere near the personalities of men like Henry VIII but that also doesn't make it okay either. Especially when Veon basically watched Aisha grow up and she's his friends little sister! and Luminas knew her since she was an infant. Would it be that hard for Aisha to at least be a young adult and not a 14 year old. Because it really feels like Luminas is waiting for her to be legal since he already tells her she's his ideal woman when she's still a 14 year old.

Conclusion: Into the light once again is a beautiful story about healing from your trauma and the writting and the characters are just amazing. But it all feels like it's backpeddled when it's so heavily romanticizing or just straight up ignoring the fact that Aisha is basically a grooming victim, the relationship is practically covered in glitter to make it look better, "Sure Luminas is 2000 years old and Aisha isn't even an adult but at least he's so nice to her and he teachers her how to summon spirits! He'll always protect her!" Because while Luminas will (hopefully) never hurt her. Real groomers absolutely will. It pushes the message that as long as the man who is old enough to be your dad is sweet to you and protects you, then it's fine if he has feelings for you. Intentional or not. A story about healing from trauma supporting relationship where ones a child and ones a god with a mature mental age to boot is kind of like when movie producers fucked up the original meaning of Lolita.

Coming up on the next "My feelings on":

[dramarising-replacement]

Perma-Bans, Petty Bans, and Poor Appeal Process

Recently I had my account banned for multi accounting. Now why would I be so pissed about this? Because the alt I had made was because of lost credentials and never interacted with the actual account I have, abandoned with literally two dragons in the lair the instant I got the creds for my real account back. But the account in itself isn’t where my peeve comes in. It’s the permanent ban of an active account after an alt was made two years prior. How was this alt found, you wonder? I sent a ticket in with the wrong email linked to my primary account asking about something related to copyright of FR on an upcoming project of mine. Okay that’s a little strange that I only got banned after I asked a question like that specifically, surely the appeal process will go fine when I provide context? Wrong! Even accused of funneling in the process (didn’t happen). What happens when the ticket staff are asked for receipts of said funneling? Permanent denial of response and ban stays in place. It genuinely goes over my head how genuinely abhorrent the process for handling potential multi-accounting is. I have met many people who have gotten away with very blatant funneling and multi accounting and willingly admitted it but are able to explain it away by lying in regards to something like siblings with shared devices. Even people who I personally have reported for funneling with verifiable evidence go untouched. How is this such a frequent issue? And why is it that people who make the most minor mistake of happening to make an account under a lost creds context gets all of their money and work zapped from them when people who do much worse in regards to TOS get off free? How is there no nuance to these situations by now? Are the staff just that petty and unwilling to work with the literal community that funds them? Why would making an account with zero work, interacts, etc be a constitution for a permanent account closure? Do the staff just not realize there is more punishment options than ‘oh you know what you lose it all, fuck you’? They have the ability to actually see context as clear by their forums punishment system, but refuse to take any strike actions on something with valid context? There’s so many other things that could be done, temporary bans, lockdowns on CR/AH, etc. But that’s just too difficult for them huh? What’s the damn point of the appeal function if they don’t actually bother to reconsider a choice? You cannot tell me either that gimmick accounts like nuzlocke form accounts aren’t also Alts. You would be a liar, and you would also be lying if you said that people don’t often make alts for ‘new starts. It’s honestly kind of funny at this point how many people ive heard the stories from who either got perm banned because they made an alt when they were like 14 and got banned 5 years later and stories of people actively funneling in major ways but haven’t been banned for years. The issue is so fuckin prevalent and yet half the time a ban happens because of it it’s for the most minor version of the rule break and almost never the people who actually violate the terms. “Economy advantage this, flight forums that” my ass. If the staff can’t hold even a small bit of understanding for such a minor issue which context resolves, maybe they don’t deserve the use of their site at all. Half the time I’ve seen staff interact with people they’re unbelievably rude and petty, especially Aequorian or whatever their name is. Always have to have a last laugh. But I digress. Maybe I’ll come back to my little account in 5 years time and appeal again and get denied. Kinda weird to think the accounts that had so much genuine time and effort dedicated into them are forced to rot for longer than they were ever active because of a faulty term of service and faulty enforcement of it.

[lightpartyadventures]

Redna 2

Not many are aware of this but Redna het Cassia was an accomplished Disciple of the Hand and Land. Indeed she was a generous soul who went out of her way to help others not just in danger but those in need of tools, supplies, clothing, and more. Rumor has it much of her skills came from the teaching of a close friend of her’s, Hunmu Ty’ukuk. A Horathgar (or Xbr’aal as is the Turali term) hailing from the northern half of Tural prior too the tragedy after the appointment of the second Dawnservants.

Not much is known about this part of her life, but we are fortunate enough to have access to writings about her from the various guild leaders of her time. As of now, we only have the accounts of Ul’dahlan guilds but hope to have the records from other Citystates soon.

The following excepts have been generously donated by the various guilds of the Citystate of Ul’dah, without whom a large part of this generous individual’s history would have been forgotten. Thank you and may you ever follow that which guides you.

Redna has always been an outstanding member of the guild. Putting in twice the hours of most native workers with the payload to show for it! You would be hard pressed to find a more dependable miner then her. Although she tends to be fairly removed from the other miners. Whenever one would put up the invite for drinks at the Quicksand she would politely but quickly decline, before disappearing into the city streets. We now know she prefers the company of her family and the Lemures but at the time she came off as quite stand offish.

-Adalberta: Guild Master of the Miners Guild of Thanalan

Not gonna lie too you, Redna scared me for a while at first. Almost every time she would look at me it would be with this glower like I had spat in her wine. When she first joined the guild I think she listened to Gigi more then myself hehe. Of course, I came too learn overtime this wasn’t contempt but expectations. She saw potential in me I didn’t even see myself! It was a number of years later she came out too me about it. I still feel awful for how I let her down back then but I wouldn’t be the guild master I am today if she didn’t push me back then!

-Serendipity: Guild Master of the Goldsmiths Guild of Thanalan

An exemplary assistant if I ever had one! Redna never fails to have exactly what I need for a project at a moments notice, sometimes even before I request it. I’ve also never seen such clean concoctions from anyone besides myself in all my years. Oh of course I knew about her heritage. There are certain alchemical techniques that only those of Garlean teachings would know and she blatantly displayed them before me multiple times. There was never any doubt in my mind that she was a pure soul however. I can think of no kinder individual then her.-Severain: Guild Master of the Alchemists Guild of Thanalan

The most imaginative mind ive ever known! Redna has made garments for clients that I could only dream of! Her stitchwork is exemplary and her understanding of what the client needs is second too none. She used too deliver orders for the guild for years before joining and you can tell she studied the works she carried carefully. A more meticulous craftswoman you will be hard pressed to find.

-Redolent Rose: Guildmaster of the Weavers Guild of Thanalan

Redna. What can I say about Redna? I guess a better question would be what can’t I say about her. I remember when her and her family first arrived here. Weary, broken, with her father barely lucid from his injuries. All we knew at the time was they had barely escaped the tragedy of Bozja. Even then the girl had that look in her eyes. Like she was willing to fight the whole world for those she loved. And by the Twelve did she prove it. Starting that seemingly average morning where she came too my desk damn near demanding to become an adventurer. I was shocked and not a little apprehensive then. I knew by that point the truth of her family, one can’t miss such secrets in my position. I was scared for her and her family if this went south. But all it took was one look at her face too know that I couldn’t fight her. She had that same look as before you see. The look of a hero.

-Momodi Modi: Proprietor of the Quicksand and Representative of the Adventurers Guild in Ul’dah

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First - Next

[akajustmerry]

TW Body dysmorphia / diet discussion.

Ive never been thin in my life, always average to average+, but recently bc of some health issues I put on a ton of weight and it's been horrible, fighting myself at every turn to not resort to terrible methods to cut corners and magically return to how I've always been. I try very hard not to listen to diet culture shit, I think it's mostly scams anyway. But it's also so hard to accept body changes you had no control over. and EVERYTHING, especially doctors will encourage you to 'lose weight' as if 'just eat healthier and cut on the pasta and bread' (literally what my doctor told me) was a solution for everyone. Also fuck I hate exercising and I love eating and my partner loves to eat and to cook and it's so fucking hard trying to restrain myself when rich, delicious nutritive food permeates the house. Anyway you probably know all this but I feel so frustrated. Nobody around me understands. They're all like 'oh but you don't look fatter' (I gained 20kgs in the span of 2 years.. it's not in my head guys I did get significantly noticeably fatter) or 'just exercise'.... exercise with me then if it's that easy damn. I'm not a diet girl I can't survive on a cucumber and a tomato salad especially when my partner makes, like, risotto for dinner or something. Anyway. All this to say I wish there was more fucking grace for people going through changes in their bodies and weight gain and such.

hi there. I have almost identical thoughts and feelings due to similar circumstances. I understand how frustrating and miserable it is to be constantly fighting yourself and not really know how to talk about it with people so they'll be supportive. one thing i try to do is give myself the grace that others won't. I also try to educate myself as much as possible about how weight and dieting actually works so I can mentally combat the diet culture bullshit. listening to the podcast, Maintenance Phase has done so much for me in terms of unlearning fatphobia. another thing I try to practice is just being neutral about my body, thinking of it in terms of what it can do and what it needs rather than what it should be. Easier said than done I know. And I know it's really hard not to compare yourself to past you, especially when other people do it but I try to think of weight as an arbitrary thing like fashion sense when it comes to thinking of past you. I think back to clothes I wore 10 years ago and many of them I wouldn't wear now because they're unappealing and I don't dress that way anymore. I try to think of weight the same way like it's just another thing of the 1000 things that change with time. Just give yourself the grace others don't for your own sanity. It won't fix everything, of course. But it might relieve some of the mental strain. Just do what you can for yourself. Even 5 minutes walking around your living room is better than no excercise regardless of weight. Adding veges/fibre/fruit to any meal you can is great even if you can't do it every day. And most importantly, Eating is always better for you than starving yourself. Every time. I hope it gets easier for you to be in your body, truly ❤️

[cleromancy]

still thinking about mia!

in particular i found the deliberate and thoughtful way ga01 approached the concept of a plucky teen sidekick refreshing... because sidekicks are a staple of the genre, right, and moreover most of us *like* them, so how do we justify the "good guys" *having* them when we're also writing stuff with way more realism than the old stuff?

and to be honest i don't really need that when im reading, i can suspend my disbelief. but you have to commit to the bit when you're the one writing it, you have to believe it. and a lonely place of dying... it did ok for what it was and im extremely fond of it, but i also think it was already walking away from like... the fact that batman got robin killed, yk. it was walking away from what that meant. and like i said thats fine. if they never brought robin back i never would have gotten into comics in the first place, yknow?

but i think the exploration of some of the thorny concepts around mia sidekicking in ga is great because like. this is *emphatically* not an omelas situation. green arrow definitively does not "need" a speedy and it is also emphatically not speedys job to provide a counterbalance or whatever.

ok this got long. putting in a cut here

and both dinah and roy absolutely tear into ollie about his decision to let mia sidekick with him--and i feel like ive read a fair few kid/teen sidekick stories which have the kid wind up in danger (or whatever) regardless of the adult trying to discourage them, and the adult at that point figures if theyre going to sneak out/disobey/whathaveyou its better to do it where the adult can keep an eye on them. and there are times when this is presented like the adult literally cannot convince the child not to do those things, which. yknow. we understand how fiction works so we also know if the writer says the kiddo wont listen to any reason, that the adult just doesn't have the power over them to stop them, then thats what happened... but the implications about the power dynamic and the adults ability to set reasonable boundaries dont paint a *great* picture.

but GA doesn't do that... i would argue mia was being set up to be the 2nd speedy all the way back to dinah and roys conversation in that plane where they just learned ollie might be alive and cant stop bitching about him lol. and iirc this is within the first 6 issues. and dinah and roy are both throwing around unfair accusations at the time, but roy says smth to the effect of what do you want to bet he's already training her to replace me. and i don't think he really believed that but it obviously planted the idea in readers heads if it wasnt there already! but yknow after that, mia doesn't debut as speedy until ga 46, or thereabouts im not looking it up, several years later both IRL and in-universe (or well in-universe its almost 2 years. iirc.).

(i can't even imagine how it must have felt if youd been following that series the whole time *finally* seeing that enter speedy cover. id have been screaming my damn head off.)

anyway. i already talked about comparing and contrasting the man mia killed during her test run vs the jason and felipe situation but i also wanted to say that i think it was great that the whole conversation pretty much *opens* with that. like forget physical danger the kid might be in--what about the psychological toll? what about the choices hes putting her in the position to make?

despite ollie very much being the protagonist of the series and mia very much being a supporting character, the focus of the emotional impact is on her, and the focus of the *responsibility* is on him. (now compare and contrast batman with robin...... listen, i absolutely do not believe it wasn't set up as a deliberate contrast, ok.)

and you would naturally think that would mean she doesn't... get to be speedy. she doesn't get to be a hero. she doesn't get another chance. but then she gets her HIV+ diagnosis, and the focus for mias character turns specifically to *living* with HIV.

and i think that's what makes it clear, to me at least, that the whole... fighting crime thing is supposed to be a metaphor. at least on some level. its a power fantasy, its a metaphor, its about the *good guys winning.* heroes being heroes. and i think a lot of the discussions around representation have gotten so overblown for what they are, but--unironically--sometimes its really meaningful and important just to see yourself. and to believe that no matter what youve lived through, you can be good, you can be wanted, you can make a difference.

which is why mia gives her presentation in the auditorium about her diagnosis, and i feel like this was also a deliberate callback to roy "only you can prevent forest fires" harper and his anti-drug PSA. because roy decided, after snowbirds, he was going to go public about his addiction because he wanted to help other people going through the same thing he did, or prevent other people from going through it yk. and there are two incidents i can think of where, years down the line, he feels some regret over it because now hes just known as the heroin guy, the guy who used to do drugs. but i also don't think he would ever have chosen to do anything else. both speedys are actively choosing to bear that stigma openly in the hopes of reducing it, you know?

speaking of which! i thought it was a *fantastic* - and no doubt deliberate - contrast to how roys drug use was treated, to have mia only talk about it *once* (this is in the HIV+ issue. 45ish?) that she regularly did meth when she was on the streets, and its explicitly clear she did it to survive. and it never comes up again. there's no condemnation, there's no literal war on drugs propaganda here. (the first roy comic i ever read was the mini ntt one in the mandatory fucking D.A.R.E program in middle school, btw.) it was a fact of her life because her life was *fucking dangerous,* and meth helped keep her alive until she managed to find her way out of it!

so this is another concept mia becoming speedy explores--the fact that the people who should have kept her safe as a child did the opposite. mia has never been safe her entire life until moving in with ollie. and the people who hurt her left permanent damage in a physical way in the form of HIV. so now ga is exploring like... what it means to be safe. what it means to be mortal. what exactly is a childhood. and it doesn't dig *too* too deeply into these because its not that kind of comic book, its the kind of comic book where the good guys shoot glue arrows at bad guys and stick them to the floor. but it approaches it and sits you down with those questions and i mean, for me at least, even putting aside exactly how hype i was for mia to take on the mantle, it felt *right* that ollie would say yes.

and the next issue i think or the one after that (its the teen titans one! tim is there later). is the one where roy reams ollie out for this, they talk about it, roy lampshades the different... contexts of having a speedy. like its not like how it used to be. the bad guys are worse, its not safe enough for a kid anymore. and this is where ollie relays mias diagnosis (<- she had already decided to go public about it as i said before, so ollies not sharing information that isnt his to share here). and roys like that could have been me. its a good issue! i like what it does with what its doing.

and then some 20 issues later, once mia is reasonably well established as a superhero and a titan....... Enter Jason.

(🥰)

i have so much to say about this arc i love it so much. let me preface by saying none of this is a condemnation of jason, hes pretty much my favorite fictional character of all time. im not interested in wagging my finger at the guy styling himself as a supervillain at the time and going Naughty Jason! Thats Not How We Make Friends!, yk. im also not endorsing it, bla bla bla, whatever, this really aint about him right now. right now we're just talking about what he does for the story, the questions he poses about mia and sidekicks and shit.

god, where to fucking start.

i guess ill start with jasons "were not so different you and i" villain speech. and yknow at least on the surface level theres like. a certain join-me-be-my-robin element to it or like he's encouraging her to cross the line or whatever. but honestly, jason was less there because jason todd the fictional character wanted to be there, and more because winick as the writer thought it continued to explore the concept in an interesting way.

because we've talked about green arrows responsibility vis a vis letting her be a sidekick bc of the psychological impact of it, about the choices she's put in a position to make, about HIV and what it means to be a hero and safety. all of those things. and jason shows up to *demonstrate* that--

--it really is not fucking safe to do what they do.

and Jason is, i think, at his most terrifying here, and thats on purpose. it is *visceral*. it is so, so incredibly well done. and it throws ALL those questions of safety and responsibility and mortality and heroism and do-gooding into a new light because you really feel like, oh my god, her life is in danger.

tbh i think some of the reader anger at jason for this arc--and titans tower, just to a lesser degree because it wasnt NEARLY as good lol--is the fact that he *is* challenging us, the readers, to think about our beloved kid/teen sidekick trope. he brings back the element of realism that GA was drawing away from somewhat, the element of *real consequences.* and as a reader it is so much easier to just be mad at jason because well hes the villain of the story...... and ignore the fact that hes demonstrating--both by being the dead robin cautionary tale, and by being ~red hood, the scourge of the underworld~ lol--that if this is not something she's prepared to face, a possibility she's prepared for, then she shouldn't be wearing that uniform.

and that the person she relies on to protect her can't always be there to do it.

and, mini tangent, there's absolutely no way jason was trying to kill her here. he terrified her, he kicked her ass, but he didn't do any permanent damage and he didnt "lock her in" (<- real reading i saw once 🙄 try reading it again with your eyes next time genius) he stabbed his knife into her cape. if jason were being written by anyone else i would entertain the idea but it was winick, who knows exactly how smart and thorough jason is supposed to be *because he was the one who made him that way.* there's no doubt in my mind that jason was perched somewhere watcging to make sure she got out before the place went kablooey but you know what, in fairness, thats not on the page. BUT, like. the reason mia *thinks* jason was going to kill her--before she realizes he could have if hed wanted to, and purposely let her go--was because he wanted her to think that. he wanted to scare her and he wanted to warn her and he wanted to make her think.

really really love this arc.

anyway. i mentioned in my other post that winick tweaked mias backstory so she was also homeless like jason, which i sort of have mixed feelings about. in smiths version, her dad trafficks her and later she winds up as one of the "girlfriends" (euphemism for victims) of his associates. and that was ... not really the picture of child trafficking you usually see in comics, the more common real-life scenario rather than the sensationalized version of quote-unquote child prostitutes on street corners. but at the same time i think winick kept the most important part (the familial trafficking) and i also think he changed it in order to explore all the aforementioned topics in an interesting way. it doesn't feel like it was just an arbitrary change, or to make it more exciting or whatever. like he was exploring stuff with it, it was purposeful.

for example--going back to mia and meth. the more you read of winick the more you notice that intravenous drugs and illnesses associated with them (so including but not limited to HIV/AIDS) are something of a... recurring... motif, i guess? they're something he regularly comes back to explore. and thats interesting in the context of mia for a lot of reasons but well. when mia defensively says to ollie that she used meth, the reason she gives is they used it to stay awake on the streets. and i do think winick deliberately--and *effectively*--explored the pre-existing (and historical) parallels btwn batman and green arrow in a bunch of other ways, so i don't think im off base in saying the fact that *robin* 2.0 famously lived on the streets *probably* had something to do with the backstory tweak for speedy 2.0, particularly again bc of jasons "we're the same" villain speech. but also, like i said, she mostly used to stay awake(/alive), which is something of a harder sell if she hadn't been homeless, and also like i said, winick likes exploring drugs and wanted to write a hero living with HIV.

before i get into the comparisons with jason and mia, i also want to say that i think jason--who im constantly affectionately calling a revenant--is such an effective contrast for mia because the emphasis for mia! was always on living. it was always on healing. despite having a *distinctly* non-everykid origin story, mia absolutely embodies something i think was very characteristic of her generation of teen titans, or at the very least early days cassie and tim, which was this simultaneous like... they're normal kids, they're *relatable,* but they're also superheroic in determination, and resourcefulness, and they want this, and they know they can do it, so they will. and thats what its all about, man.

...actually i just ran out of steam, ill write out some thoughts on jason telling mia theyre the same later lol sorry. im toired!!!!

anyway mia is soooo good.

[strangevampy]

yapping :3

i know i come back to post like once a year, but i thought i'd talk about how college is going and everything going on in my life. i know damn well nobody here cares (not trying to be all emo, i mean like- eh you get what i mean..) and- idk, too much shit has gone on. firstly, i havent exactly graduated from high school yet, im in this dual enrollment program, but i dont actually have any high school classes to take anymore? if that makes sense? im at this community college full time, and only go in 4/5 days out of the school week for like 1 hour each day (im off on fridays). I think it's really nice, and it'll put me ahead once i transfer to the college i actually want to attend (A&T!! Aggie pride or whatever lol). My mom wants me to pursue a master's degree, so i dont see why i shouldnt. Also, I want a degree in Computer Science, and I really want to be a game/software developer. I know people say 'AI will taker over all our jobs!!! you all will be out of a career!!' I.. don't exactly fear that, but, only time will tell I guess... (TW for SA talk after this, so if u don't like that, feel free to scroll.) secondly, I was in some relationship that I ended around May and i didn't really find out he- violated me, i guess, until after I ended it. I was telling my friends about a certain incident where I went it to give him a small kiss on the lips before leaving school and he took it further than I wanted and it really bothered me, and they told me that it was SA, and that realization sent me down a bit of a spiral. In addition, we used to make out and stuff in the school stairwell (bad idea, i know, dumb shit..), but after I ended this and got with my current boyfriend, whenever we were in a stairwell alone together, even if we're just walking through, I got- scared? almost? like an overwhelming urge to keep my distance and watch him, and- i really didn't like that. ive already had too many encounters with boys talking about my body in ways i didn't appreciate, and after i broke up with him he sent me some lame ass fucking apology about how 'he feels so guilty :(' like i would care. idk. i feel like im going through some 5 stages of grief LMAO. i've been working through it, but it still feels weird. bleh, idk >.< uhh some other stuff... i identify as goth (i like the term babybat so i prefer that lol) and started leaning more towards that kind of style and culture and expressing myself more freely now. i LOVE androgynous style, and basically aim to confuse people on whether im male or female in the near future. ummm uhhh i dunno :3 im more into video games and stuff, i rlly like honkai star rail and project sekai (ace attorney and sally face will always be my comfort games though) and uhhh idk what else to add. to anyone reading, please remember to love. uts damn near 3 am and idk what im saying anymore but pls show those around u that u love and care for them. you never know what a person is going thru, and your beautiful soul may just make more than a difference than u know. thanks for listening to my schizo ramblings.,.. goobnight....

[yokakaiju]

doro modern(?) au

SPOILER WARNING + LONG POST BELOW CUT

i am so tired while writing this, so apologies if some of it doesnt make sense bleh.. i will happily answer any and all questions to the best of my ability tho!!

okay so ngl... it's really not that different from canon i think? i really don't know much abt my own damn au atm cause i mostly think of it during work and for some reason i literally NEVER write anything down?? idk why???

ALSO TO PREFACE!!! DESPITE HAVING READ DORO IN FULL ABT 4 TIMES NOW AND AM GOING ON A FULL YEAR OF HYPERFIXATION HERE SOON I HAVENT BRUSHED UP ON THE LAST 60-70 CHAPTERS IN A MINUTE SO SORRY IF I MAKE A STUPID MISTAKE!!!

this shit is all 100% subject to change later btw:

• genuinely just abt everything that took place in doro takes place in the past during this au, but not in the same way or with the same characters. ik some stuff 100% wouldnt make sense because of this, BUT BLEHH ILL FIGURE IT OUT LATERR!!! literally jist like.. remove everything involving aikawa and risu and replace it with violent social unrest or smth idk yet...

• ne way, this takes place 100 years after the kaiman holey fight, but in this au it wasnt our kaiman

• the sorcerer and human world have been permanately sealed off from each other since hole fight

• humans at this point dont necessarily believe sorcerers even exist anymore due to this, but the older generations (the few people who live to be like 80-100+) are still somewhat afraid of them and think that some may still be in hole (they are)

• abt hole and this is gonna need a lot of reworking, but like.. idk. basically some humans worship hole as a modern god, taking everything that happrned as absolute truth and churches sprung up around holey, worshiping large statues made of his bones and stuff. the statues do still work as they did in base doro, but they arent as widespread anymore? theyre way more popular with older people and thr newly religous folk, but most people see them as some sort of novelty at this point and they arent widely owned outside of churches and hospitals anymore

• the refuse lake also is back kinda? but its mostly a normal lake now, but the water is still extremely tar like in some parts so its still gated off

• in the socerer world, all information regarding humans and the hole have been banned from being spoken about or learned by the general public. personal doors are also prohibited to be used/learned to be used and anyone who CAN use them that uses them unsanctioned will face capitol punishment or smth. really only the devils and en family know abt hole and shit (theres more people of course, but these are details idk yet)

• n e way, in modern era nikaido and aikawa (sigh we will get to him last...) work together at the hungry bug still

• nikaidos story is literally almost exactly the same. she is still being pseudo hunted by the en family because they got word of a time traveling socerer like howveer long ago and are trying to hunt her down in secret (they dont know its her directly tho)

• kasukabe/haze is still just chillin tho. he is nearly unchanged, still wrote books on socerers (however they were written more historically for a while, then eventually he met haru and they became research/science based) snd took ai as an appretenice, but his work outside of human medicine is thought of as crackpot conspiricy talk or entirely fictional. him and haru are stil married/divorced, haru is also atill a devil and he still has a skin door to the sorcerer world

• ive had some ideas abt shin, mostly that his mom was killed alongside his dad after someone tipped off the  militia that there was somehow still sorcerers in the hole. they investigated their home for a bit and caught her using a door, so they raided the home and slaughted his family in front of him. from there shins story doesnt change much at all rn tbh

• the en family is still highly regarded and very opressive in the socerer world. they dont destroy schools anymore because duh no black powder, but they (with some devil influenece as well) heavily regulate what is taught. resistence against the en family, namely trying to learn about doors and hole, are cruely punished to show they arent fucking around, despite them still having acess to the hole and knowing (somewhat) the true events of what lead to them being separated

• i havent put much thought into the fate of the cross eyes in this au yet, but ive had some ideas? they arent the cross eyes (yet) but, they (our commanders + natsuki and risu) were low ranking memebers who are part of a resistance against the en family that attempts to fight their opression/censorship of history and some higher ups (not the commanders rn) are even trying to figure out how to make a door to the hole or smth

• this is abt all i have rn (im also super tired writing this ugh), so sigh... aikawa time i suppose... this part is gonna be long and confusing and 99% of everything ive talked abt so far was stemed from this, so heres a barely tldr tldr becase im probably making a seperate post when im not so tired. okay TLDR: ai was always disallusioned with being a human becauee his grandpa told him about sorcerers and magic and shit, so he fully bought into hazes entire catalouge of books taking thrm as gospel. eventually he meets haze and works under him, getting close enough to see some of his studies on sorcerer corpses. due to the corpses having smoke/black powder and were killed with hatred for their fellow sorcerers (they were killed by the en family), it starts to slowly affect ais young brain and the seed of a new hole have been planted blah blah, anyway he starts having horrific nightmares from the pov of hole from over a century ago and starts hearing shit cause hes already really mentally unwell. pretyu much from here it goes thr same as base doro for rn. he begs haze to help him become a sorcerer, he has all his plans snd shit tk make it work with the "fresh corpses" (either murders or bodies provided by haru) haze has access to, but haze refuses. ai just gets worse as time goes on, but him being a little emo freak he never actually vocalizes it, but as per cannon he decided to just force hazes hand. one night haze and ai were illegally hunting for potential relics of hole or the events surrounding that around the older parts of the refuse lake whrn ai ended up throwing himself into the tar. however instead of throwing himself in the refuse lake cause he needs a corpse he was compelled by hallucinations or smth to throw himself in. haze saves him and ends up doing the surgery om him blah blah literally its not that different from here, ai still "dies" and is buried he was also made of the 9(?) corpses so hes till got all his heads ans shit. when he rises this time tho instead of going to the sorcerer world he goes to haze again immediatly and begs him not to tell anyone. from here on haze hides him ot smth since he looks so different now no ones gonna recognize him or whatevs

this aint a fuckin tldr whoops. anyway uh.. ill make a seperate post abt aikawa/kai/EVERYONE ELSE IN THERE later cause i fell asleep twice writing that

please ask questions if you have any!! i will work on this more as time goes on i imagine and ill try to start actually writing ny ideas down now

[shigayokagayama]

maybe a weird question, but do you have any recommendations for non-mob psycho media? I’ve been in search of something that hits similarly/is as well made and I trust your judgement o wise one. I’m not super picky, so recs of any kind would be appreciated :)

im like the worst person to take media recommendations from because you have to tie me down to watch something new and then i get obsessed with it forever, in terms of things ive seen recently that hit the same tumblr is NOT lying dungeon meshi is really good and if you start watching now you're gonna be watching at the part where it starts getting crazy

other stuff ive been into (gets progressively less mob psycho and generally more depressing like the further down we go bc i tend to get into really, really sad shit):

-i <3 deltarune but everyone has already played that. deltarune good. if you havent played deltarune play deltarune. genuinely like it more than undertale. also if the last chapter of deltarune is just the confession arc i called it and deserve a million dollars

-same w spiderverse. listen usually i dont care about superhero stuff but god these movies are good and i really hope they stick the landing.

-everything everywhere all at once continues to be one of my favorite movies ever

-rainworld (video game, very difficult but skurry's playthroughs do a good job summarizing the plot and general vibe of each route if you wanna watch those. i watched my friend play survivor ages ago and ive been playing through survivor with a friend on multiplayer and decided to watch some playthroughs to get a feel for the map and GOD DAMN the story of this game. rivulet route almost made me cry.) fair warning this is animal death the video game.

-severance (live action tv show, general plot is some sort of dystopian future where they invent a surgery where you can seperate your work self from your normal self so you clock into work and then black out until your shift is over. except your work self is just stuck at work forever. only 9 episodes but very, VERY good)

-i actually really enjoyed the scott pilgrim comics and the anime i wish anyone ever could be normal about them. id definitely suggest comics (if you can handle the 2000s humor) then anime. also basically everyone knows this but fair warning that starting out the main character is in his early 20s dating a 17 year old, it is explicitly treated as a shitty thing by the narrative and theres nothing explicit and its made very clear that he has 0 feelings for her whatsoever and is just using her as an ego boost but if youre sensitive to that stuff i might skip this one

-lots of webcomics about animals. i read so many webcomics about animals its like. my main media intake. this is part of the reason that i dont understand complaints about the art style my favorite webcomic looks like this

its called doe of deadwood and ill think about it until the day i die. others im currently reading (since this one wrapped a while ago) are "what lurks beneath" (cat cult on an island) "waves always crash" (cat cult on the beach) "i didnt know" (cat cult in a barn), toufati sawa (hyena trying to avenge her clan) and africa (leopard trying to survive the harshening world with her cubs) warning for animal death with all of these and general abuse warning for all those cat cult ones bc. cults.

-i like warrior cats. do not read warrior cats. its not very good and youll get stuck here forever.

-pathologic but the actual game and not just people describing the game please watch someone play the actual game summaries skip so much of the meat of the story and the characters. or play the game if you can bear learning to strategically quicksave. fair warning there is a lot of racism depicted against indigenous people in these games and while the framing of it generally aires on the side of "racism bad" there are a lot of kinda shitty tropes that come with it.

-listen bojack horseman is one of my shows it is the polar opposite of mob psycho in like every way and i would never in a million years recommend it if you want something that hits like mob psycho but if we're asking for just things i enjoy this is one of them. heavy cw for drug usage and abuse with this one. might want to give "does the dog die" a look for this one bc people are not joking about how heavy this show is

-same with hospice. hospice is a concept album about a hospice worker and a patient and has had more of an influence on me than any other piece of media ever bc i found it at the exact perfect time in my life for it to be relevant to my circumstances and now its like part of my identity. heavy cw for abuse also

-speaking of concept albums hey have you listened to tyler the creator he has several. WOLF especially i really like because the plot is actually like. kinda intricate. he also says the f slur a lot in WOLF but hes bisexual so diversity win?

-succession good. tw for like. everything though. probably "does the dog die" this one.

-hey have you ever watched david lynch's 1972 film "eraserhead"