#especially in the last few years

[sunflowerlou28]

I grew up in a family where I constantly witnessed my dad abusing my mom . Physically and mentally. He was abusive towards me and my siblings as well. My mom is still with my dad .Mostly because that's our culture.

Do we speak about it to others in the family ? Yes .

But do we do it because we want him to die ? No .

Because victims want accountability. Apology . To have their pain be acknowledged.

Not this .

The number of posts I see with people saying that Liam deserved this outcome is truly nauseating. People are allowed to make amends . We don't know if he did or didn't . People truly believe that they are better than others for practicing outrage and spewing hatred that they claim is justified .

A man , who lived half of his life in the public eye , who clearly was affected by the hate he received, died in a horrible way and people still have the audacity to put their negativity out . Like he didn't deserve to live ? I'm sure he felt that too at times . That whatever version he had grown up to be , wasn't deserving to be alive . I wish someone told him that some version of him was better than none .That he had the chance to ask for forgiveness and make amends . That he was loved . That it wasn't too late .

I truly hope that the people who speak so terribly about someone who just passed away , someone who had a 7 year old son , Someone who publicly admitted to being suicidal, I wish these people don't have anyone depending on them for their kindness. Because by the looks of it , they have none to offer . While the man they claim to have been a monster had plenty to offer and will probably be remembered for the legacy he left behind , part of which was for how incredibly kind he was.

[ambrosykim]

crazy how fast january comes around every year

[owlyjules]

I don’t know if anyone’s ever asked this before so I’m sorry if I missed it! But I was really curious about your general process? Do you do purely watercolor works or a mix of watercolor and then digital additions/edits? Of course only if you’re up to/willing to share! I’m trying to learn more in regards to watercolor and love your works so much!

I hope you have an amazing day!!

Hi!! Sorry it took me a moment!:D I am doing a bit of everything to be honest! I consider myself more of a mixed media artist! (Meaning different type of traditional and digital edits!) So some of my work is fully watercolor while other is mixed! For example, take this doodle of mine! Here's the freshly unadjusted scan:

Then with color adjustement to correct what my scanner washed out:

And then some light digital correction to make it a bit nicer!

For pieces like this, I normally work with a base of watercolors and inks on top of a colored pencil lineart.

Then I work in gouache and acrylic gouache for the part I want to "carve out" more. Then I finish everything with another layer of colored pencils on top to add more details and gradients, before scanning and touching up with digital. (sometimes I can go all out with digital edits and sometimes not at all! it depends on the piece!) For example here's one that was not retouched digitally at all beside correcting the washed out scan + watermark.

Hope this helps!:D

[junewild]

Watching Sam & Brennan talk about the beauty of frivolity, of adults playing silly games just as seriously as they fight to survive, and... yeah. There are some things that keep us alive, and there are some things that make life worth living, and I think games are one of those things that fall into both categories. Games make our lives better and they make us better at being alive. I think that's pretty cool.

[shiori8]

Power-Couple Uravity & Midoriya-Sensei

I know I'm incredibly late to the party but guess who's finally finished MHA and is all sorts of emo about all of these losers... 🥹

(In my head I imagine them posing like this for a magazine cover, but it's been a while since I did much drawing in general, so here's just a sloppy little piece to try and get somewhat back into the groove of things lol maybe I will come back to this idea one day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

[gracebriarwoodwrites]

I write fragile on a dozen boxes salvaged from recycling I forgot to take out before I knew I was moving and my hand shakes even more each time. The lines bleed off the box corners and into me. I'm fragile, you see.

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4

Cale blinks, eyes bleary. He's being held in Choi Han's arms, tucked close to his chest. Wince. Not only does his head hurt, his body hurts now too.

Being ten is strange. Strange in the way that his body doesn't match his mind anymore. Strange in the way that he feels like a stranger in someone else's home. It reminds him of a memory, older than he is, of when he first walked into the orphanage. Out of place. The kids already there looked at him like he was no different from them, but it was strange to finally be labeled an orphan despite having been without parents for most of his life, now.

The 7 year olds memories tucked away in his mind welcome the 10 year old in. Cale frowns.

A habit from his older years, and younger ones, has him checking his environment before his condition.

"I will go to Duke Fredo." He hears Eruhaben declare to everyone in the room, clearly having a meeting of sorts. Cale is tucked so close to Choi Han that his being awake goes unnoticed. Or, if it is noticed, no one says anything about Cale listening in.

Rosalyn nods. "The White Star is planning something in Cale's absence. We need to find out what that is," somberly, she adds, "Before 'he' decides to do something about it first."

Cale yawns in the middle of her talking, and the buzzing in his ears prevents him from hearing the last part. Duke Fredo... Cale remembers being Naru, for a time. Cookies and the White Star... his head aches. It feels, very accurately, like a long needle is being inserted into his skull and poking around in his brain.

"Cale?" Choi Han squeezes his shoulder. The 10 year old in his arms frowns more at how comfortably he's being held. How long has Choi Han been carrying him? He recalls being carried by Choi Han many times. It makes him recall other things, such as pain and coughing up blood. He assertively stops thinking about it.

The meeting on the other side of the room comes to an end at Cale's emerging consciousness. The eyes on him feel familiar. It reminds him of the pitiful looks he got when he wandered the cold streets in nothing but a school uniform. His memory flickers and it suddenly reminds him again of the team, when they looked at him as the Team Leader.

Though, he can't think of any reason why they're staring at him like that.

Finally, with a twang of pain in his skull, he realizes that they're looking at him with expectation... he doesn't connect the dots that their expressions are that of worry. Was there something he missed? He yawns again, tears coming to his eyes, and he calmly wipes them away before kicking his legs.

"I want down."

Choi Han sets him on the ground, steadying him on his wobbly, sleepy legs. Cale is thinking about the conversation that Eruhanen and Rosalyn just had when hunger pains radiate from his stomach like twisting tendrils.

-Sorry Cale! I took longer to heal your body because of the curse, but it's fixed now!

Clutching his stomach with one hand, he covers his mouth in a desperate attempt to keep the blood in his hand as he coughs wetly. It tastes familiar, beyond the familiarity he had with it at 10, but rather its a lifetime of familiarity that cannot be contained in just the words, 'he tasted blood.' It was a taste he knew better than food or water.

His chest feels better, he notes. His head still hurts, unfortunately, but he shouldn't expect too much.

It also came out of his nose. Gross.

With that underwhelming thought, he keeps the blood carefully cupped in his hand. Uncle hated when he got blood on the-

Uncle is...

Right.

But still... he shouldn't get blood on his Hyung-nim's nice carpet. It's probably... expen... sive.

Noise buzzes around him, someone is touching his shoulder, but he's coughing blood again, again, and again, and it feels awful as his stomach twists and writhes with the hunger and pain that he's felt before, but it makes him ravenous all the same.

Hungry. He could eat anything right now. He remembers the tasteless rock he ate to get Super Rock's Ancient Power. He'd even eat a normal rock.

But still, even in his hunger, he keeps his mouth closed.

He can't bring himself to ask for food.

Not even from Raon. Something in his core, in his gut and his heart and his soul, tells him that he shouldn't ask. How could he take food from Raon? Well, it's Raon's supply of food for Cale anyway, so it's okay. But taking food from a child? But Cale is a child too--

"Human! That's your hungry face! Quickly eat this pie!" Raon cries out and there's suddenly a slightly smashed slice of apple pie in his face. How are there already tears on it...?

He grabs it without thinking hard.

The hunger doesn't care about tears, and soon Cale is stuffing his face with the salty apple pie with a fervor that he, at 10, would normally never have shown to anyone. He eats without chewing with a familiarity that makes him want to cry.

Choi Han's hand shakes on Cale's shoulder.

He should've checked Cale's condition beforehand. He saw that Cale used the ancient powers but still, Cale only got his external wounds treated. Why did he let his happen? He thought that it would be okay this time. Cale was young now and he wasn't showing a response for a long time, so he didn't think. There's no excuse for this.

Cale eats desperately, as if his life depends on it, and Choi Han can't help the way his heart cracks at the sight. And burns with frustration at his own uselessness.

Drip.

The room is quiet.

Drop.

"Human! Do-do you need more apple pie?!" Raon yells, panicking, bringing out more apple pie as Cale's cheeks become wet with silent tears. He reaches for a pie in the air and scarfs it down, uncaring of the sticky fingers covered in sweet apple filling and flaky, crumbling bits of crust.

It tastes like home.

It doesn't taste like Uncles house, or blood, or school hallways or alleys or scraps.

He sobs miserably, wanting to hide. He isn't crying over apple pie, he isn't! From his memories, he definitely shouldn't be crying over this much- it didn't even hurt enough to cry!

Thunder crackles outside the castle. Cale remains hunched over a new slice of apple pie, curling into himself in a very not-Cale like manner.

Another crack of lightning outside.

Eruhaben steps in front of Cale. He brushes Choi Han, frozen in his shock, away from the scene. Raon brings more apple pie out, even as he sees that Cale isn't so much eating the pie as he is holding it.

"Human, I will- I will destroy the world! You can't go into a coma again, I will- I will," Raon's voice cracks. Choi Han gathers himself. He looks at Cale, before calmly standing next to Raon and touching his paw in the air. "Human..."

"Cale," Eruhaben speaks calmly. "Look at me."

Cake shakes his head, fingers trembling. Something's wrong with him, inside of him, and the panic gets to his chest as he starts to take quicker breaths. Cale looks through his memories to fix himself but they blur in a cacophony of sounds and words and frames.

"Cale Henituse, you need to relax. Everything is okay. No one is taking anything from you. Calm down."

They weren't inspirational and comforting words. No, the words could even be considered a little cold, for an adult speaking to what appears to be a 7 year old. But it was necessary for Cale, who was 10 and not 7, and Kim Rok Soo, who was orphaned at a young age and abused and abandoned, and a little boy who went through both child and teenage years without anyone he could call family.

Cale opens his eyes. Were they closed? Eruhaben is in front of him.

Calm down.

Why did Lee Soo Hyuk come to mind when he heard that? A distant, dusty memory falls through his mind, so he picks it up and watches it. The Record plays out.

Something happened like this, once.

It was the only time he came close to crying in front of the Team Leader. Lee Soo Hyuk brought him out of it. The Record, though the reason why he almost cried was somehow forgotten(lost?), always played when he needed to put himself together in a moment of weakness.

Even now. When he is 10 years old in a 7 year olds body. The voice brings back the feeling of calm.

His memories settle.

Right. This is more like him. More like himself.

His face levels out into something neutral.

It feels like an older version of himself, somewhere between 38 and 20, is stroking the top of his head. Cale wonders if hallucinations are part of the curse.

"Good job." Lee Soo Hyuk in the Record and Eruhaben's words overlap for a moment but Cale ignores it.

It takes mental strength to stand straight again, but he manages it with a stiff expression. His hands are a mess, a gross mix of blood and the smushed flesh of what used to be a perfect apple pie.

He's never been more ashamed and embarrassed in his life. Old memories come to mind, reminding him that he's done worse, but the 10 year old in a 7 year olds body feels mortified. If he'd done this in front of his uncle...

"I'm sorry." Cale apologizes. It comes out of his mouth naturally. He has a lot that he could be apologizing for. The floor, which surely has blood and messy apple pie on it now. The pie, which is as ruined as his shirt. The weird hyperventilating thing he did. He recalls his memories. Maybe it wasn't what Lee Soo Hyuk called it, a 'panic attack,' but something different, more sinister.

He convinces himself that it is.

Red flag number 6 it is.

"Cale, you have nothing to be sorry for." Eruhaben states clearly. Cale looks him in the eyes. Strangely, he feels compelled to believe the Ancient Dragon.

.... Red Flag number 7?

Cale backs away on instinct.

Eruhaben sighs.

"Unlucky bas... hah." Standing up from where he had apparently gotten on his knees, Eruhaben waves his hand. The gross feeling on Cale's hands disappears effortlessly, and the stain on his shirt vanishes too. "It'll still be better to wash your hands, at least. Though that doesn't mean you're dirty... it means you were attacked by apple pie." Eruhaben tells him seriously. He lowers himself to his height and makes eye contact. "So it's best to wash it off, just in case some of it is still on you. It could... attack again."

The other people in the room, notably missing Bud and the mage Glenn now, stare at Eruhaben. He pointedly ignores their gazes.

Cale nods.

Eruhaben covers his rising smile.

"Off you go now," he lowers the hand, looking serious again. Struggling, he continues,"... Be careful." Like sending off a soldier, he stands up and looks away from Cale.

Choi Han covers his own face and fights to not laugh.

Somehow, despite the fact that Cale technically has all of his memories, the explanation works for him. He goes into the bathroom, escorted by Ron, who helps wash his hands at the sink. Ron also has him change his clothes, despite their clean appearance.

Ron assures him that it's due to the risk of another apple attack. It could be stuck to the clothes as well. Cale frowns. Ron smiles at the pouting 7 year old.

The 10 year old starts changing his clothes obediently.

Cale's muscles ache and burn. Even his bones hurt.

His head is in so much pain, especially when he focuses, but he draws in his willpower to think very hard about the reason why he might be in this condition.

Cale winces as the needle in his brain digs in deep and drags itself over his frontal lobe, and he visibly shudders, trying not to grimace.

10 year olds are supposed to be bigger than 7 year olds, is the conclusion he comes to.

...

Cale gets chill on the back of his neck.

Surely he isn't going to grow... right? No, no way. If he is, surely he shouldn't be in pain, right? He became 7 years old in a flash and it didn't hurt, so why now?

The pain alleviates for a second. In feels like whatever is causing the pain is given a revelation.

In his undergarments, Cale is enveloped in a white light.

This is...

Definitely red flag number 8.

Definitely, he thinks, suddenly 12 years old in a 12 year olds body. The needle painfully digging into his brain burns and yet feels cold at the same time. It spreads like an infection, and he immediately covers his right eye as it becomes numb with a sharp, icy sensation. Strangely, his hand warms up.

Ron, who innocently retrieved a garment from the crown prince Alberu's younger days, drops it. The assassins hands, which never tremble, shake more than they would if Cale had been an adult. Seeing a newly 12 Cale bleeding from his eye...

Blood seeps through the gap between Cale's hand and his face, which is now suddenly 12 years old.

Cale-- Ron realizes as he calls, as calmly as he can, for the ancient dragon and rushes in a not-so-calm manner to the young masters side-- has yet to realize that his eye is gushing blood. The 12 year old looks at Ron, confused.

Ron's expression is stiff.

"Ron?" Cale asks.

Eruhaben enters the room alongside Raon and Choi Han, but Ron focuses on relaxing his expression, and carefully holding Cale's hand to his eye, keeping it there so he doesn't remove it.

"Young Master... Do you remember the song, Dark Night Moon Light?"

Cale frowns. His head hurts.

"No." He says honestly. Why is everyone in here all of a sudden? Cale was barely dressed in some now too-small shorts. It's cold, he thinks through the pain.

"Then I will remind you, Young Master. It's a children's song that parents or butlers like me sing at a child's bedside. The child will close their eyes and listen to the song. Would you allow this butler to sing it to you?"

All of a sudden?

Cale feels uncomfortable, but his head hurts so much that he can't think about it a lot, so he closes his eyes.

Ron sings, in his calm and low voice, a common children's melody. He himself had once sung it for Beacrox, a long time ago.

It's supposed to help children who find themselves terrified of the dark. As far as Ron knows, Cale was never been so afraid of the dark to have this song sung to him... but, he understands with a bitter heart, even if he had been scared, the song would've been sung by his mother. Not his father, who was too sucked in by his grief after her passing.

He realizes that Cale, being 12 now, must no longer have the memories of his mother singing to him.

Eruhaben has Ron carefully remove Cale's hand, which had been pooling blood inside, spilling onto the floor.

Branded under his eye, looking like a burn in the soft and thin skin, is a number.

'12'

Eruhaben waves away the blood.

"Young Master, open your eyes now. The song is over." Ron doesn't react to the number, and when Cale opens his eyes, hides his relief that his eye is not damaged. Just bleeding. "Do you know how old you are now?" Though, Ron had a strong suspicion that they already knew.

"... 12, I think."

"Cale, you've been fighting off the curse, haven't you?" Eruhaben asks. It feels angry. Cale shrinks in on himself.

"It's fine, isn't it? It's better if I'm older."

He won't cry anymore. He can bathe again, since he can now handle the phantom sensations of blood and scars and dirt. He won't ignorantly use his ancient powers. Off the top of his head, there are more reasons that he should be older than there are reasons to go back to being young.

He is a better slacker when he isn't being whiny and childish.

"... Cale-nim." Choi Han groans.

"You knew that you were fighting off the curse, right?" Eruhaben asks again, but it's calculating.

"... Yes," but how could he not? He could always feel when he grew older, smarter. Not to mention the cracking like pain of his skull being hammered in, worse and worse as he ages. Even now, he can only tell the honest and not altered truth, simply because he is in too much pain.

Choi Han wants to ask. 'Is it because you don't trust us?'

But he holds his tongue.

Eruhaben sighs. He nods at Ron.

"Get dressed." Eruhaben rubs the top of Cales red hair, leaving him frazzled, before leaving the room. Choi Han clutches his sword and restrains his rampant emotions.

"You aren't in trouble human! The great and mighty Raon will help you become a child again!" Raon flies around Cale. Ron, observing Choi Han and Raon, leaves to rob the crown prince of more clothes.

Sigh. Cale shivers.

His head hurts.

[dont-let-me-eat-pears]

things that are Too Much: both times lancelot dies, the last face he sees is merlin's, and the last thing he does is smile.

[georgi-girl]

Odysseus: I’m happily married.

Literally every other character in Greek mythology: Really? What’s that like?

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s7 episode 21 “je souhaite” thoughts

welcome back to M2LS for the newest episode liveblog!

i have to say, this feels monumental. we are almost at the end of s7. i know a lot of people enjoy this episode, and i’m in the mood for something light and airy before we descend into the s8 angst. 

yes, you must recall that i googled this show and read the wikipedia page a year ago before i started watching it, so i know some things. but to be honest, i’m kind of sickly excited for the s8 angst😈there are some particular tropes at play that i’m looking forward to investigating.

but! we have to get there first. and i plan on getting all of my s7 stuff around before watching the finale for cliffhanger reasons. and also, my posting will probably get way less regular very shortly… but it was a brilliant year of 2 or 3 posts a week that we shared. 

anyway. let us get comfy and cozy and started!

reading the description… a man without a mouth…? a corpse without a head? a genie?? what will mulder wish for!! and why the french title… lmao. let us see

(post-episode thoughts: peace and love. and also may i SPECIFICALLY note goodwill toward men!!!!)

we open in missouri. someone is looking for anson, who is reading a magazine filled with pictures of boats. i support him chilling in a storage unit and looking at boats instead of working. 

he hasn’t cleared out 407! oh. don’t tell him he won’t amount to anything! “a monkey could do this job, right, jay?” “well, you can’t, so what’s that say about you?” <- OOP! jay commands him to go clean out 407 THIS INSTANT!

he cracks the lock on the storage unit, which is filled with old furniture covered in plastic. and many cobwebs. and a rug. with something in it! it jumps! then unrolls it as spooky music plays…. OH! a woman? with a gem under her eye! was chilling in the rug!

she opens her eyes…. and he seems to have vanished! jay comes back to the carpet rolled out. but then jay starts to grunt. HE LOST HIS MOUTH? well. that must be the guy without a mouth part of the episode explained.

how will bro eat or drink!!!

intro time… literally GET spooky with it. i love the scene of baby agents with the guns. very short intro. we must have an action-packed episode.

mulder is at the desk, asking someone- who i presume to be jay- if he can get him some coffee, or water, or anything. he shakes his head no. probably because he has no mouth. and mulder goes over more paperwork, bouncing his pen around. i do love that man.

OHHH SCULLY… she opens the door, says good morning, and then makes a very funny face at mulder when she realizes there is someone else in their space. AWWWW. my princess :(

LMAOOOO her pointing and mouthing “who is that?” I LOVE HERRRR!

LMAOOOOO, THE WAY SHE GASPS WHEN SHE SEES HIS FACE AND THEN CATCHES HERSELF WITH A “NICE TO MEET YOU” <- THAT IS MY QUEEN!!! she wants to be POLITE!!!

it seems jay cannot say certain words. mulder shows scully the pictures of his mouthlessness, while jay says that anson did this to him. so i guess they cut him a new mouth somehow. which is good, all things considered! glad he found a doctor who could do that.

so anson told jay to shut up and then… jay had no mouth. yeah. anson was found several days later, but refused questioning. mulder points out they had nothing on anson- but politely!

“they had to make me a whole new mouth”, replies jay, and that would also make me so mad, so i sympathize

poor guy is mopping up his new mouth blood…

the agents head to mark twain trailer court in missouri, which must have been a long drive slash flight.

scully is telling mulder about the effects of a disease known as scleroderma, which is the overproduction of collagen, and i love her so dearly. there is so much tenderness in my heart for her. but mulder is like… that doesn’t just happen in a blink of an eye! mulder shoulder grab….

she’s still coming up with various medical reasons for a vanished mouth. and i see this episode was written and directed by our friend vince. tbh, i can’t really remember if he has a certain style of episode. i’ll probably figure it out along the way. 

(so. i see he's a little shippy at moments)

LMAO, SCULLY GRABS HIM AS THEY SEE THE GIANT BOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRAILER PARK… this show is so funnyyyyy sometimes.

anson sees them approach, saying they must be from the IRS, and warns someone named leslie to get rid of them. scully says hi :) and leslie starts to stutter that the boat is not theirs! they’re… holding it for someone else. “and they pay the taxes on it” “oookay” <- AWWWW. i love her reactions when people are being weird.

leslie tries to shut the door in their faces, but mulder does not allow this. oh, leslie is anson’s brother. mulder sees someone in the back… and says hello. she looks goth.

leslie says jay’s mouth thing comes from chemicals. like, one time, his brother found a guy with a meth lab in the storage unit, so, they should check that out. LMAO.

mulder declares he knows what is going on here… then they investigate the storage unit of mystery. he finds a calendar from 1978, and scully says it’s too bad, this furniture is really wonderful. (my heart skipped a few beats at her admiration of it all)

it’s expensive- very expensive. tell us more about your fancy furniture knowledge, queen. maybe anson stole something from in here and then dipped. and then used the money to buy a boat… “there’s your crime: theft”

my heart is just overcome with love for these two. idk what is wrong with me on this fine evening. maybe nothing is wrong with me and everything is supremely right. 

mulder finds a picture in a frame and calls her over. it’s a picture of a guy with three women surrounding him- one of which was the goth lady from the trailer! chilling in a fancy car. queen. and she hasn’t aged at all, despite the photo being very old. 

anson says that he has two down, nothing to show for it. “you got the boat” points out leslie. which anson declares has done him no good! goth lady says it’s like a white elephant. “so what the hell did you give it to me for?” “because you asked for it” <- ohhhh, clock his tea!!! he argues that he shouldn’t have had to specify the boat should have gone in some water!

this genie queen…. 

OH. leslie says maybe he could use the last wish to get rid of the boat, and anson threatens to put him in a home. now, i can support slacking off at work, but i cannot support this sort of language. genie is playing with the TV remote that is in the shape of a woman’s body. classy

“you could always give that guy his mouth back” LMAOOOO 

leslie suggests money. an infinite number of wishes. she kills both of those ideas quick. 

“you know, i have a thought. granted, it’s pretty obvious” (she gestures to leslie’s wheelchair) LMAOOO they don’t pick up on what she is saying at ALLLLLLL 

anson FINALLY says he is absolutely ready: he wishes he could turn invisible at will. use it to sneak around, pick up stock tips, snoop on women. james bond stuff. she tells him it is unoriginal. and then declares that it is done. 

BUT HE DIDN’T SPECIFY THE CLOTHES PART, LMAOOOO. absolute rookie mistake.

so he strips right there. she asks him to please turn invisible. and he does! then he goes for a walk. runs straight into some trash cans. he is on his way. hollering about being invisible. 

goth genie disappears. her work is done. anson runs around, invisibly kicking and pushing stuff. sees some women across the street. presses the crosswalk to approach them in a creepy man fashion. but the cars can’t see him!!! and he gets hit by a tractor trailer!!! 

well. instant justice for objectifying those women.

an undisclosed amount of time later, a biker trips over his rotting invisible corpse.

scully is here. an empty stretcher is pulled into her lab. and the assistants ask if they can leave. an autopsy on an invisible guy! that has to be new for her.

she traces his figure. looking for that glowy powder. gently taps it on….. she looks so excited. LMAOOO, LOOK AT HER HAVING FUN WITH IT. girl is gonna need soooo much of that stuff. she makes out a face!!!

eventually, she has made the whole guy yellow. and mulder comes by to antagonize her. the body has a perfect match to anson’s dental records- scully thinks he must have been hit by a car or truck. “and he’s invisible” “yes, he is” <- she seems soooo excited. i’m happy for her.

OHHH, she says it is the best thing she has seen in their 7 years working together. it will change the boundaries of science! she is covered in yellow powder, and he looks at her like she’s the whole world, which she is.

mulder says it is amazing, but he doesn’t think it has anything to do with science. sad scully face. he looked up that guy from the photograph they found back in the storage unit- turns out he made $30 million in a year. and then died of… hold on, let me google something. she is sooo taken aback by whatever it is he says.

ah. death by extreme boner. LOOK AT HER FACEEEE, she does not wanna think about that, LMAOOOOOO

he thinks the mystery woman is the link between the strange old man and anson's case, and therefore they ought to investigate. but scully wants to stay with the body to make sure no one comes and messes with it- it is truly amazing. and he nods and smiles. she is still covered in yellow. i love her soooo much. 

back at the trailer park, “you suck” has been written on leslie’s boat, while mulder tells him he is very sorry for his loss. leslie wants to know if his brother suffered- mulder says no, but asks about the invisible thing. and then where the woman went. he thinks she is a genie! and then they start singing a song together. good for them, i suppose.

leslie says he doesn’t know what mulder talking about. and mulder says you should hand me the object containing the genie right now- for your own safety. leslie wheels away. grabs a case of something. hands it to mulder. who tells him he is doing the right thing. did he really give him it?? i don’t buy it…

scully is taking a million pictures of invisible man while leslie goes back to the storage unit to see if the genie has returned…

OHH, scully doesn’t want to leave the dead guy. “come on, he’s not going anywhere” <- OHHH HER PAINED EXPRESSION… I LOVE HERRR. and she says “bye” to the body before leaving, then tells mulder so excitedly that a group of researchers will be flying in from harvard to inspect him!!

she investigates the little box leslie gave him… which mulder says is what the brothers keep their weed in. LMAO, HER FACE AGAIN- THIS WOMAN IS KILLLLLING ME.

why do i feel the body is going to go missing….

OH! mulder pulls up a video of mussolini which has the genie woman next to him, LMAOOOO. i did not see that coming. he ran her image through the facial recognition database and then the national archives. AWW. he is so clever. 

and then she’s with nixon!!! “both men who got all the power they ever wished for and then lost it” <- ohhh…. very interesting. maybe the act of wishing is doomed in itself… or maybe their wishes were stupid, and mulder can come up with the perfect ones.

back at the storage unit, leslie has found the genie!!! “can we just get this over with, please? three wishes. go” <- LMAOOO I LOVE HER. so she must live in the rug and he brought the rug back to the boat.

she gestures to leslie and says “your disability” …. LMAOOOOOO, HE SAYS HE COULD WISH FOR A SOLID GOLD WHEELCHAIR- BAHAHA, KING!!!

but there is something he wants more than a solid gold wheelchair. is he going to wish for his brother back? what will happen to the body if he does??

scully presents the body to the team of researchers…. but there’s nothing there. NOOOOOO, POOR THING. she’s reaching for him and coming up with nothing.

anson is a zombie!! leslie is not pleased. he did not ask to bring him back to normal- just back. another technicality oversight.

so leslie wishes zombie anson could talk- even though genie says no, you don’t- he insists. and zombie anson just opens his mouth and SCREAMS.

OH, POOR SCULLY SAYS SHE SHOULD SHOOT HERSELF AS MULDER INVESTIGATES WHERE THE BODY WAS…. NOOOO QUEEN, NEVER KILL YOURSELF!!! she was so happy. she thinks it was too good to be true. in her sweet green sweater. mulder says he thinks the disappearance was the result of a wish. who would want anson back? 

cut back to the boat with leslie, where anson is STILL SCREAMING, LMAOOO. he asks leslie what he did to him. leslie wheels away, muttering he wasted two wishes on him. anson turns on the stove…. he tries to light a match as leslie plans his third wish. 

the agents return to the boat as anson tries to light a match. leslie decides on his final wish: LEGS!!! but anson lights the match and blows the whole place up just as he makes his choice! the agents are nearly blown away!!! SCULLY BLOWING HER HAIR OUT OF HER FACE AS SHE IS SPRAWLED ON THE PAVEMENT, LMAOOO

and the rug THUDS behind them. 

THEY FIND THE GENIE!!!! he asks to call her jen. scully wants an explanation!!! mulder wants to know if she is a good or evil genie! “the only thing you people are cursed with is stupidity” <- get their asses. people have not changed a bit, she says. but they smell better now. 

“you’re saying that you have been a firsthand witness to 500 years of human history” <- oh scully, you big nerd, i would ask the same question.

she says she used to be human in 15th century france. she unrolled a rug. found a genie. asked for a mule, a sack that was always full or turnips (amazing!), and then…. great power and a long life. but in french, of course. hence the title of the episode. she says she should have been more specific. 

she wants to know if she’s under arrest, and scully is like… well, can’t think of anything you did, so feel free to go. but she can’t! mulder has to make his wishes! bro begins to contemplate. 

will his overthinking prove worthwhile?

back in his apartment, the genie says she doesn’t think scully likes her very much, LMAO. “oh, i don’t think she knows what to make of you” <- a very measured response. and he doesn’t know what to make of her either!

he tries to ask what her wish would be… she wants to live life moment-by-moment instead of worrying about what it isn’t. she’d drink coffee and watch the world go by. 

“you say that most people make the wrong wishes, right?” “without fail. it’s like giving a chimpanzee a revolver” LMAOO

he thinks the trick would be to make a wish that benefits everyone. 

he asks for peace on earth. she groans. “what the hell’s wrong with that? you can’t do it?” and then it’s done. he looks out the window….. everyone is gone!!!! NOOOOOOOO. he asks for scully, LMAOOO. aww, he goes back to their office…. calls out for anyone…. looks for skinner…… calls the genie back. “you know damn well that is not what i meant” 

LMAOOOO, SHE IS BULLYING HIMMM

AND HE WISHES TO UNDO THE WISH AND STARTS YELLING AT HER… BUT HE IS IN SKINNER’S OFFICE AND HIM AND A TON OF OTHER PEOPLE REAPPEAR IN A MEETING WHILE HE IS TEARING INTO HER

“i think there another possibility here, and that’s just that you’re a BITCH” <- LMAOOOO

NOOOOOOO, SKINNER HEARS ALL THIS!!!

so mulder is typing up his final wish on the computer so he can get it PERFECT using super legal language that CANNOT be misinterpreted.

in comes scully, saying skinner called to check on him- is everything alright? “you don’t remember disappearing off the face of the earth for about an hour this morning?” “no” “well, i guess everything’s okay”

i predict that he is going to wish for this genie to be free so no one else can make these sorts of mistakes… and also because he is a nice guy deep down

LMAOOOOO, THE WAY SHE TURNS AND ASKS THE GENIE IF SHE COULD GIVE THEM A MINUTE PLEASE, BAHAHAAAA. the genie doesn’t go anywhere. “like today?” and then she is gone. 

love when scully gets so mad her carefully curated facade of politeness cracks- it always makes me giggle… tell that genie to GTFO so you and the bestie can have a chat, dr. scully. i support you!

if this REALLY is a genie- what he is doing is very dangerous! he thinks he can make a perfect wish and fix the world. “maybe it’s the whole point of our lives here, mulder- to achieve that. maybe it’s a process that one man shouldn’t try and circumvent with a single wish” <- ohhh, scully and her wisdom… and mulder and his puppy dog eyes…. she goes to leave. he keeps typing. then he says he is ready for his last wish.

AWWW, I PAUSED TO SEE THE THING HE WAS TYPING BEFORE HE TURNED IT OFF. it reads, in part: “i hereby do lay out my wish with consideration of every loophole possible” <- awwww, he was trying so hard!!! he wants to save the world!

back at his place, he puts in a movie with scully, teasing her about not wanting butter on her popcorn. they’re watching caddyshack. “it’s a classic american movie” “that’s what every guy says. it’s a guy movie” “okay, when you invite me over to your place, we can watch steel magnolias” LMAOOOO. they crack open some beers (possibly some other generic sort of soda or bottled beverage, but it LOOKS like a damn beer. only making note of this because i know what happens in the next episode). she laughs as he tries to toss his cap into the trash and misses.

ohhhhh, so they must not do regular movie nights… it seems like that anyway, based off of how she asks what the occasion is. well, don’t worry. movie nights are still gonna happen in fanfiction, even if they don’t talk about anything deep.

seems like he is willing to do at least a LITTLE deep talking tonight, though: “i don’t know if you noticed, but i never made the world a happier place” “well, i’m fairly happy. that’s something” <- OHHHHHH MY GOD. i’m gonna fall to my knees. and they smile at each other. she asks about his final wish. 

and we see that the genie is…. watching life go by in a cafe!! drinking a coffee!!

OHHH MY GOD.

immediately rewinds. 

i need to google what caddyshack is. it is a comedy about golf. writing that down to inform his taste on other matters. OHHHH, and his “i don’t know. just felt like the thing to do” when she asks why a movie night… STOP.

i kept thinking they were going to kiss again, but they didn’t. THEIR SMILES AT EACH OTHER…….

stop. mulder choosing to wish for something that would help the genie….. because he knew he couldn’t fix everything on his own… and he realized this only because scully pointed it out to him... an actual moment where he recognizes his well-meaning hubris... and the genie’s smile as she gets to live her dream… he is just a nice guy…

rewatches the scene AGAIN. her laughter when he misses the trashcan. and her nervous tapping fingers on the bottle. the fish tank in the background. and her smile when she says “that’s something” and he’s looking at herrrrr and AUGH.

and the way they get to have this rare moment of peace after so much pain…. oh my GOD, i need to lay down.

and knowing what i know happens next…. well. like i said, maybe it’s root beer and not real beer. maybe there’s a time skip of a few significant weeks or months between this episode and the next. the designs on the bottles are vague!!

RAHHHH i need to explode a little, please give me five minutes. 

(watches it again) the way she looks at him when she asks what his final wish was, AHHHH

oh my god. so yeah, this one lived up to the hype, LMAO.

a balm for my soul before we plunge into the dark times. which, like i said, i am kinda sickly excited for anyway. they said we need to pile on the silly ones NOW before things get crazy. 

i have a bunch of question as to how this next arc is going to pan out given that i know like, the very basics. but i shall try my best to be incredibly patient and wait for the answers even if they are retconned into existence a decade later, which i think is what happened. that’s the sort of stuff i bring to the table: patience (<- said by someone who is lying)

shoutout to the genie- she may have been a bitch, but she was THAT bitch. like, she took down mussolini AND nixon… that’s getting the job done!!!

ahhh…. so refreshing to feel their happiness in canon. it just bathes over you. like a balm of some sort. i can’t imagine how people see this as not worthy of exploration. you need these moments to breathe to give the audience rest in between a million episodes of saving the world. because at a certain point, saving the world isn't enough of a reason to justify the story you’re telling. you have to show us why the world deserves to be saved: because it has moments of real and genuine connection and love that make all the suffering worth it.

SIGH.

i’m sure i will have more thoughts tomorrow, but right now i need to go just sit and ponder. listen to the rain. read a book. think about what it means to be alive. 

okay, so it’s been a few days since i watched the episode, and i still have so many thoughts. one of which is that i was so SAD scully didn’t get to share her discovery of an invisible corpse with the whole world 💔 my poor queen… she was SO happy to dab all of that yellow powder on a body. not sure if we have ever seen her more excited. and she was covered in the damn stuff and it was soooo cute.

and mulder… he is just a nice man. sometimes his character writing is inconsistent or sometimes he gets ahab-y, but like at the end of the day, that is a guy who, with his full chest and heart, asked a genie for world peace. baby. baby boy. he may be a grown man, but to me that is also a baby. you understand, of course.

and he was so SMUG when he thought he figured it out lmao “can i call you JEN?” like this man 💀💀 he killlllls me!!!

and then let’s talk about scully just kinda accepting that, sure. maybe we do genies now. idgaf. we can’t arrest her. and also can she PLEASE give us like 5 minutes alone? LMAOOOO, that sent me OVERBOARD “like, today?” <- you TELL HER!!

but of course she had lots of deep and true scully wisdom to impart on him: that making the world a better place takes hard work, and maybe that is why we are here, and we cannot simply wish perfection into existence. which. when you think of the context of their stories and how much they have lost, but they keep trying to make the world a better place, even if it’s a little bit at a time, be it through finding scientific truths or putting dangerous criminals behind bars or making each other smile… SIGH.

an excellent episode. i will cherish it and hold the memories close as i type up my end of s7 favorite moments lists and then dive into the finale and s8. i look forward to meeting some new faces and seeing if i enjoy them and also obtaining a temporary citizenship in angst nation. but also i cannot do TOO much angst (gestures to s4), so we will have to see how i feel about the whole thing. i am approaching with an open mind and heart.

[inkyrainstorms]

The Came Back Wrong AU

(Some art I made!! He's suffering but it's okay, there light at the end of the tunnel and it probably not gonna kill him. Might finish some of these later)

After a conversation with @aroace-get-out-of-my-face, I started digging through my old art (and found a lot of things that I never posted but probably should, they came out nice) for the details of my Nightmare Ford au! I've also got a lot of notes on him in my Notes app, because, oh my gosh I love this au so much. I think part of the reason I was scare to share it all these months ago was because I was afraid BECAUSE he meant so much to me.

Ah, tangent side! The Nightmare!Ford au (is not about fnaf. the number of times I've heard that from me gf, istg-) is an AU where Ford never came across the refugee camp that he did in Canon, and instead, he had to survive for over 4-5 years in the Nightmare Realm, running from Bill and trying to find the means to leave. In the process, he ends up absorbing a lot of the residual energy in the Nightmare Realm and it manifests in a sort of 'static' that is constantly trying to both overflow out of him through his damaged eye (notice the scar) and act as a repellent for Bill!

Why does it act as a repellent for Bill, you might ask, and that is an excellent question! Here's where my headcanons come in.

The Nightmare Realm, being a place of chaos and unreality, is mostly influenced by energy rather than physics. Emotional, mental, any kind.

Bill is the most powerful being in the Nightmare Realm,and thus has the most influence over the environment

So say, if Bill associated the sound of static with danger, and the dimension weakening and collapsing, that's exactly what would happen

This also means that Ford, if he wants to be able to control Bills worst fear and also build himself a way out of the Realm, that's exactly what would happen. The NR literally weakened around Ford bc of Bills association with static = weakened dimension

I think you can see where this is heading. Ford slowly gains control over his powers of the Realm, but loses parts of his humanity in the process. (Like his memories) (by the end, he doesn't remember how he got in the NR, only that he needed to leave and destroy Bill)

For obvious reasons, that made his return trip home all the more interesting

[toki-toro]

Scribble of the guy himself

[starlos-soulmate]

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

I don't supposed anyone has recommendations on like. good or classic types of non-fiction books on queerness and such? especially asexuality and aromanticism, but anything queer and adjacent is good too

I am very out of touch with what sorts of books people read and consider good resources or cornerstones of discussion, but want to get more into actually reading that kind of thing

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Ugh my parasocial ass is so happy for that blonde lady right now because it seems like the stars have kind of aligned personally and professionally and she just deserves it all after a very tough couple of years