#and nerp she would never tell anyone about it even after she returns

[delladuck]

tw// discussion of postpartum depression and depression in general… this is a long post of random Della thoughts

Okay, so I've been thinking about that post I just reblogged a lot because I really the concept of Theory 4 (I know it's sad but it feels so real). I just have minor adjustments in my head. For instance, I personally don't see Della caring about the triplets father at all. Like, my guy was definitely not involved. I really see Della as a free spirit, and I can’t really see her ever wanting to be in a committed relationship… Wow, I'm sorry, I make everything about her sad. In my brain/headcanon world, every relationship she has had always crashes and burns because she doesn't like feeling tied down. She’s always running…. Anyway, about the postpartum depression, I feel like she suffered so badly from it— only not in the way where she wanted to hurt them lol. She just didn't feel bonded or connected and became depressed from that. That's why she was avoidant and would seem at times (to her family) like she wasn't being "responsible". Along with the depression, they also served as a reminder that everything is going to change. So what does she do? She runs.

I love the explanations for Donald and Scrooge under Theory 4. Head-on-the-nail for their thought process and feelings. But yeah, she finally thinks of the SOS and for the first time in months, feels something other than the nagging continuous depression. She thinks that if she can go the distance, do something as extraordinary as space travel, that it will prove things can still be the same and even potentially propel her out of her depressed state. She won't have to "settle down" as she’s constantly being reminded. I don't think it was to get away from her responsibility, I think she was completely overwhelmed and conflicted because of the effects of postpartum.

Being on the moon brings her entirely new traumas. Instead of getting help and speaking out when she was on earth, she’s now literally trapped. Her isolation is, obviously, no longer in her head. Queen, I'm so sorry (as if I'm talking to her LOL). Damn, she really was stranded on the moon by herself for a decade! Her untreated depression worsens into something entirely new (PTSD...!).

She obviously loves the triplets. I think that, relatively quickly, her time on the moon, when things went from bad to worse, her idea worked in a way? It certainly was something to knock her out of her “funk” (postpartummm). The kids are her motivation to keep fighting. She would take care of them. She would make it all up. She was committed, but how the duck was she supposed to think that anything could go wrong when Scrooge McDuck built this for her? Encouraged her to go for it? He always kept her safe and so on and on and on. She tried to free herself following his example and lost everything in her search for how things used to be (insert that Frank post about Scrooge betting it all and willing to rebuild from scratch if he looses everything).

It just seems like she was dealing with a lot— especially internally. So much was happening at once. My girl got so mentally ill. Like, being alive is so complicated… Deyla… I feel like she had a lot of highs and lows, but the lows were more often, common, and longer. One day she would feel like, “This is awesome. My kids are going to be the coolest and I can't wait to show them everything,” then the following week is unending flow of, “There’s too much to do and so many ways to screw up. Why is there so much that goes into taking care of them? They can’t really expect me to stay in the mansion for months on end right? I want to take care of them. I can’t take care of them. Donald thinks he knows everything. I'm a failure. They’re just eggs. What am I supposed to do with that? Yep, I feel soooo bonded... I’m a bad mom. Why don’t I feel the way that I should?” But of course, she’s stubborn and doesn’t tell anyone. So Donald labels her as irresponsible, and Scrooge don’t really gaf tbh because he thinks it will all smooth over and be fine as soon as they hatch. Troll goes ahead and builds SOS and the rest is history. I’m not really sure where I meant to go with this. I drew fanart the other night thinking about this, rediscovered that post I reblogged, and now here I am typing the thought process of a duck that I headcanon to have had postpartum depression. This is all just random and just what I think. I'm sure there are other posts like this but I just spent all this time typing this out so I figure, why not post? Goodnight.