#Depression vs. Sadness

[winterrain-11]

some more gravity falls hcs :3

(a lot of these are sad)

cw for drug use, mentions of abuse, major character death, and other such depressing things

- mabel starts swearing like a sailor after the summer (ik that stan made an effort not to swear around the kids, but i don’t think ford did, and it made stan’s filter slip more) and gets in trouble for it at home. when stan finds out he tries to hard to pretend to be mad but he’s lowkey proud

- the twins have to fight tooth and nail to teach their grunkles to use a cellphone, especially facetime. they eventually get the hang of it, but the first few months at sea were two hour facetimes of the grunkle’s chins just bickering at each other and assorted “how’s it hanging pumpkin? how’s school?”

- stan and ford watched westerns nonstop as kids (though ford was more into star trek and doctor who) and they played cowboys often. stan was OBSESSED with cowboys and briefly tried to work as a ranch hand while he was homeless in his 20s

- dipper and mabel have a love/hate relationship with cw’s supernatural. mabel thinks the boys are hot and is definitely a destiel shipper. dipper loves the genuine supernatural-ness of the early seasons and now still watches it kind of as a joke but also because mabel got him on the destiel train. the last two episodes ruined their lives.

- the twins have opposite reactions to weed. it makes ford’s paranoia really bad and makes him nauseous, but it makes stan’s adhd brain quiet for once and allows him to relax for once. when dipper and mabel get older, they have very similar reactions. when stan catches mabel smoking, he tries to be responsible about it and tell her that smoking is bad for her and to not end up like him, but eventually they just smoke together on occasion.

- mabel is significantly better at guessing plot twists than dipper (in books, movies etc) and dipper DESPISES this fact (i think it’s the same for the stan twins too tbh)

- stan dies first, ford dies almost exactly a year later.

- stan picks up guitar while he’s homeless, uses it to make a bit of money on street sides. he teaches mabel in her teen years when his hands get to old to play.

- when ford and fiddleford rekindle, stan and fiddleford bond over regaining memory. they both relearn their instruments together (guitar and banjo respectively) and enjoy singing along to old outlaw country and appalachian folk rock (stan picked it up in his travels).

- (cont.) ford suggests music because it’s known to help dementia and alzheimer’s patients with regaining memories, and while that’s true, he really more just enjoys seeing his two favorite people happy again.

- both ford and stan think the other voted for trump (2016), neither of them did. stan thought hilary was hot (and thought trump was a loser) and ford voted third party (sorry he gives me centrist vibes). i imagine they both vote dem in 2020 and 2024 because they see trump as a much worse conman/asshole and a narcissistic sociopath respectively.

- (cont.) the twins have heard the stan’s complain about the other’s political ideologies and know that they vote the same but refuse to tell the other. wendy is also in on this and they all have to tackle soos on several occasions to keep him quiet before election day.

- nate and lee definitely explored each other’s bodies and when they finally came out to the friend group everyone was super confused because they assumed that they had been dating for years

- ford has a very addictive personality. while stanley does too, he can restrain himself (doesn’t smoke or drink around the kids, doesn’t lose himself in gambling), ford picks up smoking on the stan-o-war II and doesn’t stop until he dies. Stan has refused to go to Vegas with him even though ford begs, but stan knows an addict when he sees one. ford never acknowledges his problem.

- stan doesn’t tell ford about his homelessness and abuse at the hands of his father/pimps/drug lords until they’re several months deep on the stan-o-war II and certain things start to trigger his PTSD. Ford listens and opens up about his abuse under Bill and his life of crime in the multiverse. they definitely cry together for a long time.

- (cont.) Stan only tells the kids when they’re in college. mabel self destructs a bit during this period trying desperately to find herself and stan is terrified that she’ll go down his path of dangerous desperation for self-worth and wants her to know that he knows how she feels, they grow even closer because of this.

- stan did drag for a short period of time around the southwest in his homelessness. at first he was forced to do it to be degraded, but once he got his autonomy back, he began to do it on his own accord and really enjoyed it/was really good at it. he tried to convince himself that ‘he wasn’t queer or anything’ and was just doing it for the money, but he never really fully believed that. (where he learned to wear a girdle)

- once again. stan wanted to be a cowboy so bad okay i know this in my heart of hearts. this man LOVES clint eastwood and johnny cash and RAHHHH i know it.

[dykedvonte]

It’s crazy how expendable all the crew members were to the Pony Express.

A 30% chance that your shipment would be lost. Cargo and crew are inseparable if we are to believe the shitty layout of the Tulpar. People use it because it’s cheap. The labor is cheap. The lives are cheap.

They are all relatively easy to forget about. It’s implied Anya and Curly don’t have many friends or much family to be concerned about them back home. She mentions nothing and no one to fall back on and he feels like wasted his life with the company. Jimmy probably only has Curly, otherwise people wouldn’t care or ask. Of course Daisuke and Swansea have family’s but Swansea thinks poorly of his and Daisuke’s poorly of him. All people in the companies eyes that wouldn’t stir up too much trouble if they became part of the 30%.

It makes it so much sadder because that ladder they were climbing was so small and shitty. There were rungs, ranks, but even the highest was barely off the ground. Jimmy wanted to reach the top of something that was brutally cut off and knocked everyone else off just to not see it.

[waspgrave]

now there was no reason for lucanis to be given purple johnny silverhand as a plot point and then never have the purple johnny silverhand utilized except for maybe 3 or 4 times in the game (if you saved Treviso, otherwise it's twice) and dialogue. Dialogue where he pretty much just says weird and funny things and occasionally gets scolded like a dog which is entertaining sure but there is Literally A Demon In One Of The Companions Why Is This Not A Bigger Deal

[blmpff]

NEW KBL to watch out for in April: Gray Current starring Lee Jae Bin (Choco from Choco Milk Shake) and Yang Woo Young.

There's not much info yet, second chance romance and forced proximity. There also is something about them almost becoming family, but the translation doesn't make much sense to me (daddy issues that's for sure).

Yang Woo Young // Lee Jae Bin

official IG

source 1 and 2

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

I don’t feel like I belong anywhere.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

544 people are subbed to cosmic lost and found what the fuck

[knifekris]

every day i struggle to make choices

[thedrotter]

(cw for a gun, mild blood and suicide in the last drawing.)

Day 1-5 of drawing Re:Kinder daily for a whole month! I'll be doing that all month. ☺️

I did not draw Re:Kinder enough (said both sarcastically and genuinely, because while I know the statement is ridiculous I also do believe it www), so I chose to challenge myself. I will post these every 5 days to not clog the tag too much.

[arlenelperez]

Screaming on the Inside

I present as calm and collected

I appear to have it all together

I calendar out my life

But I'm at the end of my tether.

Inwardly, darkness overtakes me

Dark cloudy days never seem to end

I'm shrouded in a fog of depression

Anxiety becomes my best friend.

I feel isolated and alone

Craving touch and affection

Like I'm lost on a deserted island

Desolate, detached without connection

Outwardly, I wear a smile

It's my mask for all to see

While I'm screaming on the inside

Desiring to escape for eternity!

Copyright by Arlene L. Perez on May 7, 2024

[starrynightsxo]

born to giggle over books, forced to dwell over academic hardships.

[arataka-reigen]

Not to romanticize depression or anything like that but damn i can never appreciate sad songs as intensively as i did back when i was depressed

[bokvshou]

i'm always going to love newt's letter (like everyone else) and i need to cry every fucking time i listen to it because my heart breaks and it's perfect for the movie, but i also believe nothing beats the crushing, shocking feeling of emptiness the original note gives you.

it's just... so heartbreaking.

you feel as if your soul is leaving your body, there's no other way to put it. and perhaps it's not fair to compare them, because the context of the movie AND the book are very different.

the letter (movie) hurts the soul because it's a farewell, because it makes more real the fact that it's over, newt is no more and there's nothing to do. newt knew that thomas was going to take all the blame, he was going to torture himself with it, and he was no longer going to be there to help him with his soft and comforting words like he always was, so he wrote that hoping it would help thomas a little to start healing (if that's possible) and make him understand that he was going to be okay. seeks to give some kind of comfort, newt had already accepted what was going to happen to him. it's a goodbye, and one last attempt to offer his unconditional love and support to thomas.

the note (book) is the opposite.

the note doesn't seek to comfort at all, it's a cry for help. and thomas himself thinks so; how desperate must newt feel to write that, thinking that he had no other choice? and entrust the favor to thomas, of all people. you get chills when you read it because between those lines there's only despair and pain, and the first time you don't even expect it but it breaks your heart, because newt is fucking terrified of the disease that is going to drive him crazy and he's suffering, he's in panic and so, so scared, he'd rather die than turn into a monster. he doesn't seek to relieve thomas, to say that everything is fine. he desperately wants help.

and i know that several people wonder why he asked thomas and not minho; even though i feel it's kinda complicated, i think newt knew minho wouldn't dare to do something like that. and honestly, would newt have wanted to ask his best friend to end his life, if he didn't even want minho to see him lose his mind? i know i couldn't do that.

[illsadboy]

Mi dispiace di aver scelto le droghe e di averle messe davanti a te, mi dispiace che non ti ho amato abbastanza da smettere, come cazzo faccio? Non ti amo più di una pillola? Guardando il soffitto da questo pavimento chiedendomi se qualcuno mi salverà me da me stesso ho vissuto per così tanto all’inferno, dicono che il mio stile di vita faccia male alla mia salute… Mi dispiace se ho mollato, ma sono esausto Dio, cosa cazzo volete che faccia?… Con la speranza che forse questo mi desse la forza di combattere ma il tossico che c’è in me è un codardo, mi ha detto che non posso farcela, avevo una seconda possibilità e l’ho sprecata è come se fossi bloccato in una realtà alternativa… In questo momento, sono debole mentre cado sempre più in basso in questo buco profondo mentre mi calano nella bara sento le lacrime, cadono sulla mia guancia. Sono una causa persa, tesoro non sprecare il tuo tempo con me sono danneggiato irreparabilmente la vita ha infranto le mie speranze e i miei sogni sono una causa persa, tesoro non sprecare il tuo tempo con me sono danneggiato irreparabilmente la vita ha infranto le mie speranze e i miei sogni.

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

There isn’t enough space in the world for me to retreat to.

[foxxyfangs]

How the world sees depression…Vs...How deprssion really is!!

This is how I act around everyone and I can't believe how true this is