#although it comes with the worry they may seem like teens in contrast of how i generally draw them^^;... i hope they still look their age😢

[thedrotter]

(cw for a gun, mild blood and suicide in the last drawing.)

Day 1-5 of drawing Re:Kinder daily for a whole month! I'll be doing that all month. ☺️

I did not draw Re:Kinder enough (said both sarcastically and genuinely, because while I know the statement is ridiculous I also do believe it www), so I chose to challenge myself. I will post these every 5 days to not clog the tag too much.

[raineydays411]

Trauma really does bond

The umbrella academy x teen!reader

Summary: It’s time for you to meet your siblings. But what happen when your introductions don’t exactly go as planned?

You were trembling as you walked behind Pogo and Grace. Its ironic, you’ve waited your whole life for this moment. To finally meet your siblings and expand your family. A childish hope of your siblings one day returning to the mansion and accepting you with open arms. 

But now that you actually have a chance to meet them, you’re terrified. You realized that you have no idea how to talk to people. It’s different than when you talk to Pogo or your mother. These are complete strangers. No matter how many stories you’ve been told, how many times you read Vanyas book, you truly didn’t know these people. How were you meant to be a family? How are you supposed to-

“Y/n? Dear?” 

You’re snapped from your thoughts by your mother calling you.

“Yes, momma?”

“Momma? Pogo, who’s that?”

You turn, again surprised by an unfamiliar voice. There she was. Alison Hargreeves. She’s beautiful. 

Her hair is curly and blonde, with beautiful high cheekbones and glowing brown skin. Her as were kind even as she squinted at you skeptically in confusion.

“Alison, this is Y/n Hargreeves, or Number Eight. She’s your sister.”

Grace again gives you a light nudge, and you move in front of her. It was then that you realized that you are shorter than Alison, having to glance up to meet her eyes. 

“My sister?” She looks at you in disbelief, “How come we didn’t know? This wasn’t mentioned by the press or anything...” 

“Your father decided to keep our dear Y/n a secret.” Grace said wrapping her arm around you, “ She’s been our little secret for 17 years and 4 months.” 

“A secret? But why? I mean, what was the reason?”

“Your father, believed that the world wasn’t ready for a new superhero. Nor was Y/n ready to face the world.” Pogo said with a grim face, “ He had hoped though, that one day he would be able to take her out...but it seems that for now, Y/n shall remain inside.”

You frowned, holding back tears at the thought. You didn’t know that your father had wanted to let you out, nor that he wanted to be there when you were. But, what truly upset you, was that you had to stay in the mansion. Freedom was at the tip of your fingers and you didn’t even know it.

“Stay inside? You mean she’s never been outside?” Alison said horrified.

“Well she has been out in the courtyard and such, but Mr. Hargreeves prohibited her to leave the premises. Nor was she allowed to be in contact with the citizens”

“She’s been here all alone?” Alison asks sadly, “ With no one to talk to? No one her age?” 

“I’m afraid not” Pogo says sadly, looking at you.

You didn’t understand the big deal. Of course you were lonely, and wanted to explore the world, but you knew why you had to stay. You can just hear your fathers words.

“You have a duty Number Eight. A duty to your people and to me. It may not be ideal but sacrifices are hardly ideal.”

And everytime you thought about leaving, you’d remember his words and stay put. Besides you wouldn’t dare disobey your father.

Not after the last time.

“Well,” Alison says gently, leaning down to your eye level, “ Hello Y/n, I’m Alison Hargreeves, your big sister.”

Your eyes widened at her words as your heart filled with joy. For so many years  you imagined those words. You wondered how this whole thing would play out, how meeting your siblings might be. And to hear Alison so readily accept you, it brought tears to your eyes.

“Hello, Alison” You say beaming as you carefully step forward, “ I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you, Momma says you live in California, what is it like?” 

Alison smiles at your question, your demeanor like a small child. It reminded her of Claire...

“It’s very nice, maybe when we have time I’ll be able to tell you all about it.” 

Your smile widens as you turn to your mother excitedly, she smiles back and says, “ That sounds wonderful dear, but you should go and change. You know the rules. You don’t want your father finding you in your night clothes, now would you?”

You furrow your brows,” Momma...”

“No buts now march” She says with a grin. You smile at Alison but see the worried look on her face. 

“So she did notice how weird momma acting” You think to yourself. You stay in a daze as you walk towards your room. Worrying about your mother, grieving your father, and thinking about how you’re finally meeting all your siblings. Then as you turn a corner into the hallway that leads to your room, you’re knocked to the ground as you bump into a wall of a body.

“Ow!” you squeal as you hit the ground, rubbing the back of your head and peering up at the person you bumped into.

“Uh..sorry Y/n” 

“Luther!” You shout, your pain overridden by the happiness you felt at seeing your brother, one that actually knows you exist.

He helps you up, which to him is like picking up a feather, and  before he knew it, your arms are wrapped around his midsection. Luther awkwardly pats your back, not really expecting to be hugged.

“It's great to see you Luther! I read all your mission reports, or rather the ones that Father let me read. I always wished you good night though! Pogo always caught me looking at the moon with that telescope, I hope you don’t mind that I used it. It's just that I missed you so-” Your happy ramblings cut off by a Luther clearing his throat.

“Ahem...right, um hey Y/n, I gotta go...check on something.” He says gently pushing you away, “It was nice seeing you though.”

And with that he walks away, leaving you in the hallway as you stare at his retreating form.

“oh...okay then! I’ll see...see you later.” You say, disheartened by his brief acknowledgement. You sigh, walking into your room. 

“I don’t know why I try...” You mumble to yourself. “ It’s not like he was ever happy to see me before.”

You go into your closet, trying to figure out what to wear. Usually, Grace picked out your outfits, ordered by your father, but she didn’t leave anything out for you today. So, you settled for a black turtleneck sweater, a black and white plaid skirt, black knee high socks with some mary janes. It wasn’t really your go to look, but you felt like it was appropriate given the circumstance. You let your hair loose, curls falling into your face as you let it out of the bun you quickly put it in. 

You go to walk out of the room when you’re stopped by a gleam. You see the necklace your father gave to you after the incident. You stare at it, debating on whether you should put it on or not. You sigh, deciding to wear it, it was his funeral after all. You put it on, the cold metal never truly seem to heat up, the pendant heavy on your chest. You never grew attached to it. It just served as a reminder that you’re stuck in the mansion. You can never leave. Not until he let you and now...

You shake your head. Trying not to get into your thoughts, that's when you heard it. Little scratching at your window. You turn to see Despereaux, the little mouse  you saved when you were younger. Ever since that day it was like you and him formed a bond.

You open the window excited to see your little friend.

“Hello Despereaux, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.” You whisper as you let him climb on to your shoulder. “ you’ve missed quite a bit since I’ve last seen you. How about some cheese?”

You walk out of your room, Despereaux nestled on your shoulder. As you walk through the long hallways, you bump into another body.

“Ouch, again?” You whisper to yourself, rubbing your forehead.

“Hey watch it...teenage girl?” A male voice said in a perplexed tone. 

You look up to see a man in some rather tight clothes and kohl ringed eyes.

“Hello” You quietly mutter with a soft smile. “I’m Y/n”

“You are adorable.” The man says, “ Where has the old man been hiding you?” 

You blush looking down at your feet, you were never really complimented. Only by Grace.

“ Aww” The man squeals, squishing you to his body. He smelled like booze and sweat but the hug was nice, “ I have no idea who you are but I’m your uncle Klaus from now on.”

“You’re Klaus?” You say excitedly, “ I’m so glad to meet you!” 

You wrap your arms around him, feeling the outline of something hard and metal in the back of his pants. You ignored it though, happy to meet another one of your siblings.

“Ugh it’s so nice to be around someone who isn’t a total stick in the mud.” Klaus says letting go of you, “ Like Luther, all that rage in that big body” 

You giggle at his words and eccentric behavior. It was a stark contrast to the ridgid stoic behavior that you’re used to. Klaus’ grand gestures and silly nature was new to you.

“I’ve heard alot about you.” You say happily, “ Mama always tells me stories about how you used to steal  her shoes and skirts and Father said--”

“Father?” Klaus asked, “ You mean ol’ Reggie bought you too? Or are you like..his offspring? Eww! I don’t want to think about that, shut up Ben.”

Ben?

“Father adopted me, I was born with powers like you.” You clarify for him. 

“Huh, so he managed to create another trauma case before he croaked.” Klaus said in a light voice, “Well. I always wanted a little sister.”

You smile, glad that at least two of your siblings liked you. But what did he mean by trauma case.

“Anywho, I have some... inheritance I need to collect. I, will see you at the funeral, das Kind” 

And with a wiggle of his fingers he was off, gone as quick as when you met him. Leaving you yet again, alone. You shrug off his odd behavior when you heard two voices speaking. 

“ah no, not to my knowledge.”

“But..the spine is broken and there's notes in the margins.”

“ Yes, that would be the work of.. ah Y/n, there you are.”

You jump in surprise, although you should’ve know. You can never eavesdrop with Pogo around.

You walk down the stairs, slowly towards Pogo and.. Vanya!

Out of all the siblings, she’s the one you wanted to meet the most. She, like you was isolated in this mansion. You felt a connection to her as soon as you were able to pick up that book. Your heart raced as you made it to the final step, reaching the first flower and into the living room where Vanya and Pogo were talking. You can see that she is shocked, as all your other siblings were.

“Pogo, who is this?” 

“Go ahead dear, introduce yourself. Just like you practiced.”

You smile widely, “Hi I’m Y/n Hargreeves, I love your book. I’ve read it almost five times now.  You’re Vanya! I’ve been waiting to meet you! You look exactly like the picture on the back of the book! It really is a good book, I-”

“Y/n, take a breath. Let her get a word in.” Pogo chuckled, glad to see that you’re comfortable around Vanya. 

“Oh, right. I’m sorry, father did always say I..tend to talk to much” You say looking down at your shoes. You didn’t notice the frown on both Pogo and Vanyas face.

“You...you read my book?” Vanya asked, still trying to figure out who you are.

“Yes, multiple times. It...well, besides the stories Mama and Pogo told me, this was the only way I got to know all of you.”

“Why didn’t you just come find us?” 

“Oh well..I wasn’t really allowed outside”, you say glancing at Pogo, “ Father said the world and I weren’t ready for each other.”

“You mean, you’ve been alone...all these year?”

“No, not totally alone! I had Pogo, and Mama, and and father too. Plus there were the robots he built, although I did destroy them...and the books and and..”

“Y/n...that’s..that’s not..” Vanya stopped herself. She knew that this must be a sensitive subject for you. The way you listed everyone in your life was practiced. Like you’ve said it to yourself over and over again. And by the grim look on Pogos face, she can tell it wasn’t only you who was sensitive about this subject.

“Well, Y/n..perhaps you should go on in the kitchen and help your mother. Your siblings will be meeting here shortly, it would be nice if they had some snacks, don’t you agree?” Pogo says, forcing a smile at you.

“Oh! Okay” You beam, “ It was nice meeting you Vanya!” 

And with that you scurry off into the kitchen, leaving Vanya and Pogo behind in silence.

“She’s been alone for...” 

“For seventeen years. Yes”

“Pogo...”

“You know your father...once he made up his mind...there was little I can do.”

Vanya sighs and pats Pogo on the shoulder, “It’s good to see you Pogo.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You skip into the kitchen, seeing your mother humming at the sink. You walk up to her and notice that she’s cleaning the same plate over and over again.

“Hi momma!” you say suddenly

“Oh, hello dear. What are you doing in here?” Grace asks putting the plate in the drying rack.

Pogo said it would be nice to make snacks for my siblings” You ask, then feeling movement around your neck, “Oh and some cheese please.”

You forgot Despereaux was on your shoulder, its a wonder that no one has seen him yet.

“hmm snacks we can do.” Grace says with a smile. She goes to the fridge and pulls out some cheese.

“How about some cheese and crackers? Its simple.” she says, “ ans Despereaux here can have his fill as well”

You freeze, caught again by your mother, “ Thanks momma.” 

You both giggle, and side by side you work on cutting the cheese and presenting the crackers. You feel a sense of calm wash over you. You usually do when you’re around your mother. She makes you feel safe. 

“Ahem.” 

You both turn to see Diego in the kitchen doorway.

“Diego dear, you startled us.” Grace said with a smile, “ Come help, we’re making you kids some snacks.”

He barely spares a glance at you.

“Pogo wanted me to come tell you that the meetings starting.”

“Oh, well go on darling, run along and I’ll bring out the snacks later.”

And with that she kisses your forehead and waves you away. She turns back to the  sink and starts humming again. 

You glance back at Diego. He’s glaring at the wall and to be honest you’re surprised he even waited for you. You pick up Despereaux and put him on your shoulder again, and grab some grapes and cheese then stuff it in your skirt pocket. Then you walk up to Diego with a small smile. 

He glances at you and scoffs, then walks away. You have to jog to catch up to him.

“You uh, you walk pretty fast” You say huffing a bit. 

He doesn’t answer you, he just keeps walking in the same pace. You stay silent as well, the trip to the living room longer than you remember.

You finally make it, and you see all your siblings in the room, spread out. You take a seat next to Vanya. You smile at her and take a glance around the room. Luther is sat at the couch across from you and Vanya. Allison and Diego are sat on some chairs, and Klaus is at the bar. 

The six of you sit in an awkward silence until Luther clears his throat.

“ So I guess we should get this started.” He says standing up, “ So I figured we can have sort of a memorial service. At the courtyard at sundown, say a few words. At dad’s favorite spot.”

You nod along and hear Alison speak up, “ Dad had a favorite spot?”

“Yeh at the oak tree, we used to sit out there all the time. None of you did that?” Luther asks.

“Oh yeah, after training” you chime in, causing the adults to look at you. You heard Diego scoff again and saw Luther quickly furrow his brow then smooth out his face again.

“Will there be refreshments?” Klaus asks walking out from behind the bar, “ Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner.” 

He goes to take a seat next to you when Luther speaks up

“What? No, and put that out. You know dad didn’t allow smoking in here.”

You roll your eyes. If you had to choose one thing to hate about Luther, you’d choose his insistent need to always be on your Father's good side. He can be such a downer sometimes.

“Is that my skirt?”

You hadn’t even noticed Klaus in the skirt. If you had to be honest, it did really suit him. You let out a small laugh, hearing Klaus mention his “bits”.

“Listen up.”

Oh boy, you’ve heard this tone before. You really forgot how stern Luther could be.

“There’s still some important things that we need to discuss alright ?”

“Um Luther” you squeak out, “ what more is there to talk about? Its not like Father had many friends we can invite. And his only family is us...”

“Yeah. The kids right, what else is there to discuss?” Diego asks.

You turn to him in surprise, this is basically the first time he acknowledged you unprompted. You send him a smile that, as expected, he ignores.

Oh well, small steps.

“ The way he died.”

“ And here we go”

You scrunch your eyebrows, “the way he died?”

Klaus sits next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder as Vanya speaks up,

“I don’t understand, I thought they said it was a heart attack...”

“A heart attack?” You ask, realizing that no one’s really did tell you how your father died..

You’re question gained a suspicious look from Luther and confusion from the rest.

“ Y/n...you didn’t know?” Alison asked gently.

“ no one told me...” You say quietly, feeling nervous from the sudden attention.

“Well, According or to the coroner it was.” Luther continues.

“Well wouldn’t they know?”

“Theoretically..”

“Theoretically??”

You don’t understand. You don’t understand why nobody told you how your father died. You don’t understand why everyone was acting weird. And you don’t understand why Luther was bringing this up.

You feel a hand on your forearm, breaking you from your thoughts. You turn your head to see Klaus.

“ you lost in space?” He whispers playfully, “ I would be too, having to listen to Detective Daddy issues over here.”

You let out a small chuckle and whisper back, “ well technically we all have daddy issues.”

This earned you a quiet laugh and a pat on the arm. Then Klaus went to drink whatever was in his cup. And you tuned in again.

“ i’m just saying at the very least something happened. ” Luther says looking around the room, “ The last time I talk to dad he sounded strange.”

“Oh quelle surprise!” Klaus gurgles through his drink.

The rest of the adult ignored him, only sparing him a quick glance.

“Strange how?” Alison asked, continuing the conversation.

“ he sounded on edge”, Luther said, “ told me to be careful who to trust.”

He then gave you pointed look. You looked back at him perplexed, not knowing why he looked at you that way.

“Luther,” Diego chimed in, “ he was a paranoid, bitter old man who was starting to lose what was left of his marbles. ”

You frown at that statement. Sure your father was old and sort of eccentric, but his mind was sharp.

But come to think of it he was acting really weird the week before he died. He started telling you more about your siblings, about your place in the world and how you were meant to help it. He spent more time with you more than he ever has your whole life. He was, in his own way, nicer to you. Nicer in training, nicer on your free time, nicer in general. He took you out to the old oak tree more often, and just sat there with you, no lectures, no tirades, he just sat in silence.

It was almost like... like he knew he was going to die. 



“I can’t just call dad in the afterlife and be like, “ hey dad can you stop playing tennis with Hitler really quick and take a quick call?’” Klaus says exasperatedly.

Oh right you forgot, he can talk to ghosts.

“ since when? that’s your thing.” Luther asks

“ i’m not in the right... Frame of mind!!” 

“ You’re high?” Alison asks

“Yeah!” Klaus laughs, “ Who wouldn’t be listening to this nonsense. Right kiddo?”

He nudged you gently look at you for confirmation.

Your eyes widen and before you can even answer Diego cut you off,

“ Don’t bring her in this, she probably isn’t even know what being high is.”

You most certainly do. You’re not a child.

“ Look, just sober up this is important!” Luther demands , then continues on, “ and then there’s the missing monocle.”

“Who gives a shit about the missing monocle?” Diego mutters.

“ Father is missing his monocle?” You ask, getting ignored again.

“Exactly, it’s worthless.” Luther states, “ so whoever took it it must’ve been personal.”

The group starts to actually pay attention to him

“ Someone close to him, someone with a grudge.” He determines.

Wait...he’s not implying..

“Where are you going with this?” Klaus asks

“Oh, isn’t obvious Klaus?” Diego taunts, “ He thinks one of us killed dad.”

Luther grunts, but doesn’t deny his accusation.

The room goes silent as everyone tries to come to terms with what was revealed.

“ Luther...” you start sadly, feeling hurt and betrayed.

“You do?” Klaus asks in disbelief

“How could you think that?” Vanya chimes in

“ is it really that far-fetched?” Luther defends himself, “ I mean, it’s not secret how much you all hate him.”

“Luther.” Alison says sternly

“ That’s not fair accusation, there’s no evidence or anything...” you say defending your siblings, “ Besides, no one came home until today. Trust me, I’d know.”

But that just turned him on you 

“ And where were you when he died?”

Your breath hitched, “ what?”

“ You’re the one who can heal people right? So where were you? Why didn’t you heal him?” He demands, “ Or did you let him die?”

“ Luther!” Alison shouts at him

You stay silent as you can’t think of anything to say. You already felt horrible about not being able to save your father. But yo hear it from Luther...

“I..” you start to say but get choked up. You feel the walls close up around you and the heavy gaze of these adults. You quickly stand up and run out of the room sniffing.

It was then that Luther realized what he just accused you of.

“Y/n wait..” he starts but you’re already gone by the time he spoke up. He turns to the rest of his siblings, facing their glares and betrayed looks.

“ Great job Luther.” Diego says sarcastically, “ Way to lead.”

And with that he walks out the room.

“That’s..that’s not what I’m saying”

“You’re crazy man. You’re crazy.” Klaus said getting up from his spot and grabbing his things. “Crazy”

“I..I wasn’t finished”

“ Okay, sorry I’m just gonna go get Y/n and have her help me murder mom.” Klaus sneers, “ You know, after I get her to stop crying, be right back.”

“That’s not what I was saying!” Luther says, “ I didn’t—“ he cuts himself off, seeing as everyone but Alison left.

Then she gets up to leave, but says this

“ That little girl has had it rough enough growing up here, she doesn’t need anymore from you.”

Then she walks out ignoring what Luther tries to say.

Leaving him all alone.

“That went well.”



[g4rous]

Sunlit memories (Garou x Reader)

tags: fem! Reader, no warnings lol, this is just the first chapter a.k.a the introduction

words: 1.1k

notes: ok so this is the first chapter of the series that I plan to write, so pls feel free to give me some feedback on this and whether you like it and should I continue :'0 💕 Thanks a lot for any kind of support ee 💗

series masterlist

Chapter one

Playful footsteps scattered across the freshly-cut grass, followed by a few equally spirited barks. Whether the small chocolate-colored dog was chasing the ball or the children lay undetermined, nonetheless they all seemed amused. A mother stood next to the gleeful dog owner, both exchanging chuckles and commenting on how adorable the sight in front of them is. Above them dozens of birds filled the air with a familiar amicable tune, as if the soothing music coming from a nearby café wasn’t enough. The park was never lonely, yet so pleasant at the same time. All those chirps, chatters and noises were like an extra spark, and frankly it’d be rather uncanny if it weren’t for them and the pastel sky above, radiant with soft hues. Cases where belligerent monsters ruined the harmony were rare, although enough to cause one to succumb to unease. Be that as it may, people always push through it and find a reason to enjoy the now sunlit park.

Though, while it was interesting to observe the scenery it wasn’t quite what you were looking for. Fiddling with the pencil in your hand, you stared displeased at the blank page of your sketchbook.

“Why isn’t there anything interesting today?” you pondered, eyes impatiently shifting over the scenery.

Almost every day for the past few weeks you’ve been sitting at this very bench, looking out for something eye-catching to draw. It’s funny how you coincidentally came across your now daily go-to place, a surprisingly comfy wooden bench underneath two large oaks, their treetops creating enough shade for another twenty people. Luckily you had your own peace there without anyone bothering you.

“Hmm… Maybe I just don’t feel like drawing people?”

After a small sigh you leaned against your hand and looked up at the treetops. The sky turned golden already, painting the leaves in shades of olive and amber. Your eyes steadily trailed down to the path next to the old oaks, now noticing a small patch of lilies that with their vivid hues and delicate form drew you in almost immediately.

“Huh. Maybe I should just go for something simple and quick?”

Well, that was what you though right before something else caught your eye. Someone to be exact. A few meters away a rather peculiar-looking guy sat on a bench. He leaned against the bench leisurely while folding his arms, his tight black shirt complementing his muscular built. His gaze was relaxed, albeit alert, and his features were sharp. Sunlight peeked on his wild, silver hair, coloring it with subtle sandy hues almost matching with the golden in his eyes.

Now, if this didn’t give you inspiration then what did? And here you thought you’d be drawing those lilies. You sighed in content, stretching your arms for a few seconds before you got to work. Subtly glancing at his direction from time to time, you had already outlined the portrait. Though, truth be told, he had such a pretty face you were trying not to stare at one point.

“What are you doing?”

You didn’t even manage to let go of your pencil before an unknown voice jolted you out of your thoughts. Much to your bewilderment you looked up to see that same man now only half a meter away, glaring at you.

“Well shit.”

Should you apologize or straight up act like you weren’t just secretly drawing some random person? Or better yet, how the hell is that same person in front of you right now? You were embarrassed as much as you were confused and to make things worse the drawing wasn’t even in your sketchbook anymore.

“Are you a hero or something? I don’t remember seeing you anywhere.” the man asked, shifting his gaze from the drawing in his hand to you.

“Hey when did you take that?!” you finally spoke, an apology being far from your mind at the moment.

On one hand it could be legitimate since you didn’t ask for permission to draw him in the first place, but on the other… What kind of punk would just rip the piece out like that?

“If you’re some c-class dunce trying to gather info on me with this-“, he grinned, still analyzing the art piece “-you’re gonna be sorry pretty soon.”

“Dude I’m not a hero.”

“Wait, what?”

That threatening, cocky grin of his from a moment ago dissipated into thin air like it was nothing, but your confused expression on the other hand only grew bigger. Was he serious?

A soft shade of pink made its way to his face for a brief moment, to which you almost chuckled.

“So you’re seriously not a hero?”

“Um, no..?”

“Your luck.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” He headed the opposite direction of you, drawing still in hand.

“Ahh so… can I get that back now please?” you walked behind him, surprised he’s oh so casually trying to leave the scene after such odd behavior.

“Nope, sorry.”

“Aw what, why??”

“Let’s just say it isn’t convenient for me at the moment to have that lying around wherever,” he put both hands in his pockets, “plus I didn’t say you could draw me did I?”

Now your face turned red in embarrassment again. He was right… Though, you still couldn’t help but wonder who this strange guy is. While tearing that drawing out of your valued sketchbook didn’t make for the best first impression, his demeanor wasn’t really belligerent either.

“Ah, sorry about that… However I must say it wasn't polite to take the drawing away like that either.”

His eyes slightly widened in embarrassment before turning away his face again.

"Eh..."

"Don't worry about it though," you smiled for a moment, "I guess it was just a weird misunderstanding or something."

Your eyes shifted on the path you were walking on, already dim because of the now darker sky, “if I may ask, is someone like… searching for you or something?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he glanced back at you, “why are you still following me anyway!? Just go home it’s getting dark.”

“Well, this is the way I take in order to get back home so you can’t really complain,” you smiled to his mild annoyance.

The night sky engulfed the city by now, leaving behind a tranquil atmosphere. Nonetheless, compared to the center of the city, your street wasn’t as bustling. Light shone from the surrounding apartments and lamp posts, and the only sounds present were from the neighbors’ TV’s or the occasional car passing by, much in contrast with the city’s center and night life.

You didn’t ask many more questions as you walked, despite the faint haze in your mind. The man obviously wasn’t too chatty, yet alone keen on sharing any personal details. Be as it may, much to your surprise what you thought would be an awkward walk was actually somewhat refreshing. Hell, you even let out a laugh or two together. Who would’ve thought the on-first-glance intimidating teen is pleasant to be around? Or, well, at least you thought of it like that. In any case way better than walking through those dark alleys alone.

next chapter

[the-witches-you-couldnt-burn]

Should have known better

Prompt: when ur reading fanfic and one character was cooking and the other comes up to them and they start making out and everyones like starting to take their shirts off and the author STILL hasnt mentioned anyone turning off the stove

My first attempt at Dickinette. I hope I did it justice!

Here’s my favourite ratatouille recipe! It’s amazing!

Ao3

—————————

Warnings: mild sexual content & mentions of gun violence, gangs, bullet wounds, fire hazards and unplanned pregnancy

The keys jangled as he took them out of his pocket, the lock clicked open and the old apartment door creaked. He took two steps into the hall, dropping his bag with a thud and closed the door behind him. Running a hand through his long, sweat slicked hair he sighed. Today had been a long day.

A deep inhale inflated his chest, but the black police vest he wore restricted it’s full extension. The smell of a wonderful home cooked meal made his stomach growl. Ratatouille, his favourite.

His heavy boot laden feet created echoing footsteps as he walked into the grey tiled kitchen. His wife stood at the stove humming, the google pad’s screen was lit with the ingredients list. She scooped and flipped the squared vegetable mix before putting the lid upon it for the meal to soften. She turned to her sketchpad, inspired by something unknown. Drawing captured her full attention, her brain’s need to replicate the idea on paper outweighed her focus on her surroundings.

He should have known better. He grew up with vigilantes and superheroes. He should have know never to sneak up on someone, especially if they knew how to fight; although this rule doesn’t count for villains (they know what they did).

For Marinette, it had been a long day of ripped seems and designer’s block.. It was nearing on eight when she finally started dinner. Looking at the clock she sighed, ‘Dick’s working late again.’ She hoped he wasn’t caught up in the shooting across town. Two gangs had a disagreement over territory and many civilians got caught up in it. She wanted to help but she had been banned from heroine duties for the time being. Her last ladybug adventure resulted in a bullet to her leg, which was still healing.

Dick took her to the hospital stating she had gotten caught in the crossfire (which now reminds her they need to restock the medical supplies), and they discovered that she was four weeks pregnant.

In present time she was still well within her first trimester, just starting her second month; and she was feeling it too. Vomiting each morning wasn’t fun, more so when it started happening more frequently throughout the day. Their midwife reassured the young couple that it was completely normal, but if it keeps up to come back as it may become hyperemesis gravidarum which will harm the baby.

Baby.

She was still trying to wrap her head around it. She had turned twenty-four last July and Dick was only older by a year. They weren’t planning on this and they had taken all of the precautions to prevent it. Yeah sure, they were married but it hadn’t even been two years! Her worry for the future faded as she reminisced on her husband’s reaction to the discovery. He was shocked for a few seconds before jumping up and down like a toddler who got a toy, beaming with joy. Tears of happiness pricked his eyes, threatening to spill on a moments notice.

Another symptom that weighted upon her was fatigue. She was no longer a teen who could challenge the world with a pen and a cup of coffee. She was a tired, pregnant adult who had to give away her coffee maker due to the temptation being too strong. No more late night or all-nighters designing clothes and completing commissions. She had to lessen her commissions due to the stressful nature of them but working from home, in her own studio helped. It had been a month since she found out and now she just wanted to hibernate due to lack of energy.

Putting down the spatula, she scooped up the pen, suddenly inspired by the mix of colours; an autumn playsuit came to mind. Biting her lip as she drew, neglecting her surroundings, the blare of the news channel becoming white noise.

She should have known better. She was a superhero, albeit she was benched at the moment, but still! The first rule of ‘herodom’ was to always do the right thing, but the second rule was to always be aware of your surroundings.

Arms wrapped around her waist, a small gasps left her mouth and her elbow drove straight back into her captor’s chest. A masculine groan came from behind her, but she paid it no mind as she tried to get out of the man’s strong grip.

“Mari, Mari! Calm down it’s me” Her husband said breathlessly. Her jab winded him, although it was softened by his police uniform, Marinette’s miraculous strength was powerful to say the least. He just wish he didn’t have to be on the receiving end of it.

“Ma moitié! Why would you do that!?” Her anguished cry caused him to hide his chuckle in her neck. Her heartbeat made its presence known within her chest and her breathing was still shallow. Turning within his embrace, she faced him with a pout on her face, “You jerk, you scared me!” She whimpered, her pregnancy hormones had blurred the line between her emotions causing her mood to flip like a switch.

Dick looked down at her with a guilt riddled face. “Shoot Mari, I’m sorr-“

Before he could finish apologising Marinette tugged him down and connected her lips to his. She leaned back into the countertop, cupping his cheek and jaw with both hands. Dick eagerly followed her lead.

He picked her up, his hands moulding the flesh of her thighs. He had done this before, but took extra precautions this time due to her still healing leg injury. He moved her away from the countertop and sat her upon the plush couch. He hovered above her, lips only splitting for a millisecond for air before closing the gap once more.

Marinette pushed on his shoulder and swiftly flipped him so that she was on top. The quick motion caused his head to slam back into the wall, the noise halted their make-out session. Her eyes widened, the cloud of lust had evaporated and rained down on her parade. She apologised multiple times to him, eyes watering in the process.

Dick just laughed before pulling her back in for another kiss. In contrast to the sloppy wet kisses before, the gentleness off Mari’s lips now made him feel like he was made of glass. She filled it with her remorse over hurting him. But as the kiss continued it shifted back to the momentum and passion they had before.

Her hands trailed up his chest, she shivered into the kiss; he had just taken off her shirt, leaving her in her bra. His thumb brushed under the mound of her breast, he felt her furious heartbeat through he skin.

Her focus lowered to his bare neck. Placing kiss upon kiss there and biting occasionally, leaving a trail of pink marks for his colleagues to see during his neck shift. A hand ran down her back as it arced, pushing her bosom into his chest.

They broke apart, foreheads pressed together, bodies flushed against each other’s. She peppered his face with kisses, “I love you”s were stated after each. He returned this action with the same fervour.

Something was wrong though. It was a sudden onset plaguing thought that something wasn't right. They had tried to ignore it but it had become like a tugging string tied around their hearts, signalling an oncoming danger. Wordlessly the two scanned the apartment, neither wanting to part from their entanglement.

Confused the two looked back at the other. Neither finding what set off the warning sensation. As their eyes connected, realisation washed over them like a bucket of ice water. They inhaled the burnt air and scrambled apart; both exclaiming “Fuck!”

Running into the kitchen, the tiles were cold against her bare feet. Dark unventilated smoke hung in the air. Upon entry to the room it was a wall of heat, it was a wonder the smoke alarms hadn’t gone off yet. Dick grabbed a nearby tea towel and swatted at the smoke, he shuffled towards the burners, mouth and nose hidden within his elbow.

Marinette opened all nearby windows, she hoped that the neighbours on the floors above didn’t question the smoke. The couple worked together to set up a system of fans to push out the smoke from the kitchen.

“If Alfred were here he would kill us.” Dick solemnly nodded in reply, ‘we should have known better’. He scraped the burnt black char into the bin, while Mari held the pan. Once the pan cooled down enough it went into the bin too, there was no saving it.

Dick tied up the yellow bin bag and placed the spatula into the sink. “Soooo... want chinese? If you’re up for it, it’ll be my treat.”

Her stomach growled as her eyes flicked to the clock, it was almost nine and she hadn’t eaten since breakfast at seven. She nodded, “sounds good let’s go!”

She walked towards the door, hand on the handle when she realised that he hadn’t followed her. Turning back around she saw him staring at her, cheeks flushed, unmoved from his position next to the bin.

“Um babe?”

“What’s wrong Ma moitié? I thought you wanted Chinese.” Her head tilted, confused at his actions.

He cleared his throat, eyes flicking away. “Babe you’ve forgotten your shirt.”

“Shit” left her lips as she bolted back to the couch, vaulting over a counter much to Dick’s disapproval. She heard him scolding her from the other room, but was too hungry to care.

Walking back to him, now appropriately dressed, she grabbed his hand, pulling him out the door. He just sighed, following his crazy wife, throwing the bag into the complex’s dumpster on the way to the car.

No one was getting in between her and her noodles.

[jeannereames]

What Genre IS Dancing with the Lion?

(N.B.: This post should not make anyone feel guilty for mislabeling the novels; I’m posting it because there seems to be some confusion.)

One of the most important parts of selling a book is getting it into the right hands: that is, to the readers most likely to enjoy it. And that involves labeling it correctly.

If you picked up Dancing with the Lion because you’re a fan of Alexander the Great or ancient Greece, the book’s genre probably matters little. I’ve read novels about Alexander in everything from lit mainstream to SFF to mystery to old-school Romance.

Yet such readers are a fraction of potential readership. For those with no particular inclination to a book about Alexander the Great, naming the genre matters. Will it meet reader expectations and appeal, or frustrate and annoy? That’s why authors worry about genre labels.

So, to answer the question: Dancing with the Lion is a mainstream historical coming-of-age novel with touches of magical realism and queer themes.

Below, I’ll explain in brief why it’s some labels and not others. But I want to stress that getting a book correctly labeled is NOT a diss at genres it isn’t. Again, it’s about getting it into the right hands so readers like it instead of hate it.

Novel: At root, two basic story types exist—those that focus on plot (romance, small /r/ = adventure story) and those that focus on characters (novel). I write both, incidentally; my current WIP is an historical fantasy adventure series. But DwtL is a novel. Characterization IS the plot, rather than characters moving the plot along.

Mainstream: Just means the book doesn’t fit into the plot conventions of commercial genre fiction. Saying something is “mainstream” therefore says mostly what it is not: not mystery, not horror, not Romance, not fantasy, etc. Some folks will subdivide it further into “literary” mainstream versus commercial mainstream with the distinction that the latter sells better and/or the former is more artsy.

Historical: A subcategory of several genres, including mainstream. Readers of historicals tolerate more historical detail and unusual names, although genre historicals can alter that. Too much historical detail in an historical Romance that slows down the love story can get an author in trouble. Mainstream historicals may include glossaries, character stemma, timelines of historical events, or other reader guides. Afficionados of historical novels are reading for that detail, not in spite of it.

Coming-of-Age: as the name suggests, this very old story archetype is all about the characters growing up. In DwtL, three characters have coming-of-age arcs: Alexandros, Hephaistion, and Kleopatra.

Magical Realism: Unlike genre fantasy, magical realism combines realistic/non-magical elements with supernatural ones. They also take place in this world, not a different fantasy world in which magic works. Yet the line between historical fantasy and historical magical realism can be fine because, in the past, people did assume magic worked, and the better authors of historical fantasy employ magical systems appropriate to that place and time. The biggest difference is that magical realism is subtler, and the supernatural elements may not be perceived by all, or even most characters. (So while Alexandros sees Dionysos, no one else does.)

Queer Themes: This is more than just Alexandros and Hephaistion as lovers. Especially in Rise, one sub-plot for Hephaistion’s coming-of-age is his own growing awareness that the way he experiences desire does not conform to the expectations of his society. He is what we, in the modern world, would call gay. I wanted to explore how it might feel for someone to be gay in a world that doesn’t have that label, and which might, on the face of it, seem more accepting…but really isn’t.

Now, for the genres it’s not, and why:

Not Romance: Capital /R/, Romance the genre has fairly locked-in plot arc expectations. The Hero and Hero (if it’s m/m) meet, go through trials and tribulations, then finally hook up in some sort of permanent way to live happily-ever-after (HEA) or at least happily-for-now (HFN). The focus of the novel must remain firmly on the Hero and Hero and their relationship. Other relationships and events should serve to frame the main one, never distract from it.

DwtL: Becoming simulates some of those things. The book does begin when the boys meet, and they go through a friends-to-more plot arc, but there’s too much Other Stuff, and in Rise, the story just keeps going even after they get together. Furthermore, Rise is not a Romance plot arc, even loosely. It’s all about Alexandros and Hephaistion entering the adult world of politics and war, and the larger theme (of the whole series, not just these books) asks what it means to be a moral/ethical sovereign?

Not YA (Young Adult): Although YA novels should have an adolescent protagonist and will often be a coming-of-age story, not all novels with an adolescent protagonist or coming-of-age story are YA. So what’s the difference? The themes and the language employed.

The plot of YA should focus on things important to that age group (13-18), not necessarily what could equally matter to someone in their 50s. That doesn’t mean adults can’t enjoy YA stories; about 55% of YA books are purchased by adults. Another aspect of YA is the vocabulary used and complexity of ideas. Sometimes adult coming-of-age stories are called more “sophisticated,” which isn’t a term I like. Intricate might be better, in characterization and theme.

Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch, Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye, and J.D. Salinger’s A Catcher in the Rye are all coming-of-age novels, and some are even assigned in high school English classes. But they aren’t commercial YA in language or theme. In contrast to, say, Madeline L’Engel’s A Wrinkle in Time, Jane Yolen’s Pit Dragon trilogy, or Ursula LeGuin’s A Wizard of Earthsea. Yet I don’t think anyone would call those latter three “unsophisticated.”

In short, a teen protagonist and/or coming-of-age story does not qualify a book as YA.

Finally, most YA treats sex gingerly as they must be appropriate for readers as young as 13, 14, 15. They may have some romance or none at all, and they may have elided sexual situations light on description. It shouldn’t be shocking, but age-appropriate to adolescent curiosity about sex. (By contrast, the category of New Adult [18-25 readership] may have quite a lot of graphic sex in it, although in other ways NA resembles YA.)

When I wrote Dancing with the Lion, despite the age of the main protagonists, I made no attempt to moderate the language. There are also POV scenes from adults, and three of the chief thematic concerns—what does it mean to be a moral king [Alex], how does one support the powerful without losing one’s self in the process [Hephaistion], and how to exercise personal agency when one has none legally [Kleopatra]—are themes that can apply to any age group. Last, the sex scenes have no stop on them. If two are over fairly quickly with general/poetic description, the third is graphic because it needs to be as what they are doing matters very much to Hephaistion’s character arc. There is also reference to the rape of women and children in war; only the aftermath is shown, but still. While I realize emotional maturity can vary wildly, I wouldn’t recommend the second novel for readers under 15/16. (I told my niece not to let my great-niece read it yet.)

That’s why I’m concerned about Dancing with the Lion being labeled YA. An unsuspecting parent might buy it for their early teen child, only for that child to get a textual eyeful in book 2!

Also, readers who pick it up thinking it’s ___, get angry when it’s not. E.g., in an otherwise fairly positive review, at least one reader wrote:

“Because the western spellings/pronunciation are so ingrained using the stranger sounding Greek slows the pace even further and seems to over complicate things merely for the sake of it. This is clearly aimed at a YA audience and so I find the choice doubly baffling - Because you want to encourage teens reading not put them off by making this harder than it needs to be.”

But it’s not YA, was never meant to be YA, nor marketed or labeled as YA on the cover. Apparently, some folks on Goodreads labeled it that in their tags, so now “Young Adult” shows up as one of its genres…and I can’t get rid of it because I don’t set those tags (nor does my publisher).

In the above case, the reader mostly enjoyed it, but her perceptions affected how she reviewed it. Authors can’t always control those perceptions and expectations, but as we really do want readers to like the book (not feel deceived), we endeavor to use the right labels on them.

[chyuans]

          hello , hello  !   first of all ,  i’m super excited to be here even if i’m like 10 hrs LATE  ( gmt timezone things )  i’m noe ,  a gay  they / them at the age of 19 ,  and this privileged lil disappointment of a jock boy is gonna be filling the position of kong_01 . despite the rumours ?  yuanjun’s actually not nearly as bad as some of the people he’ll be meeting here >:)  but you’ll get to know more about that below  !  if you’d like to plot just light up that HEART , or add me on disc*rd which i’ll give out in im’s , where i’m infinitely faster .  if i’m not gaming .  no tw’s under the cut  .

* backstory. > many people know of yuanjun, but few people truly know him. he's the famous kong families’ son, heir to the kong legacy, now forward position for south korea men’s national hockey team - which brought forth a ton of international fame from back home and amongst hockey lovers worldwide. while his talent is undeniable, he is long overshadowed by his families’ accomplishments, forever reminded that he’d never be the perfect son they’d hoped for, and no one ever lets him forget it.

> being the child of business tycoons who’s art business seemed to never be on the decline, tended to lend itself to an unconventional, pretty lonely childhood. 

> although jun no longer wants to dabble in the stupid shit he probably did as a teen, and escape from their home in a childish fit of rage and make the lives of the various nannies that tended to him while his parents were off being great hell, he still wonders sometimes whether this profession is what he would’ve wanted if he’d just not wanted to spite his parents. he loves hockey - that fact is undeniable. he thanks the nanny who took him there once out of necessity to stop his whining, and he fell in love with it almost instantly. but he also questions whether he gravitated to it because it was something he could throw himself into wholeheartedly to fill a void.

> he's very open to different types of people, and after being scouted at 19 and having a massive shift both in culture and identity as he then begun to travel worldwide, he’s a tiny bit more wordly now than he was back then. he's much more concerned about who you are underneath than superficial appearances, which means developing relationships are few and far between, because a lot of people do approach him because of his fame/fortune. he's unjudgemental to the point where his friends worry about his naivety and how easily he trusts people, but he's absolutely not dumb, just very well versed on telling good people from the bad.

> jun may even come across as naïve, but he's very aware of that perception is nearly important as reality. he's not extroverted in a way that demands conversation, but he knows how to talk to anyone from any background even if its just to maintain pleasantries. after competing in various competitions and versing players from canada to japan, he's become much more sharp and ambitious, a guy who very rarely lets distractions take their course. perhaps it’s with this that his family loathe his choices all the more, with his appetite, he was born with the skills required to run a business - pity he never took to anything of the creative sort.  

> working in a fast, stressful, highly coveted job such as pro-sports is a full time job and then some; jun doesn't spend much time not working on it. outside of his schedule, he likes bettering his stamina at the gym and eating healthy. he likes being surrounded by authentic people or nobody at all. he’s not one for trying new things and having new experiences due to time management, tending to stick to a schedule.

> he gets a lot of bad press though, which is beginning to weigh a little heavy on him. doubly now the murder has people talking. from being accused of performance-enhancing pills, various personality scandals, to being linked with ‘dating’ (see: ruining the image of) idols and chaebol’s alike. right now, he’s currently battling a lot of unwanted publicity because of a misunderstood interaction online against a wealthy sweetheart that went sour. 

> while jun might be generally unsympathetic and analytical when it comes to developing relationships with people that’ll last long-term, he's a bleeding heart when it comes to kids who may have experienced the same lonely upbringing as he did, without the financial gains. right now he spends sunday’s teaching a bunch of local foster home kids how to skate, and is trying to fund a couple of sports scholarships for those who show promise under a fake name, just generally being a good ‘ole guy.

> his family do not approve of his job, ofc. in fact neither of his parents have ever attended any of his matches to this day, and are only on semi-decent terms with him because jun begrudgingly is still tied by name to the business and shows his face at events for all of 30 minutes until he physically can no longer maintain pleasantries. his celebrity image perhaps is one thing they can manipulate, and even then, jun could get into scandals galore and still be doing his job. good press, bad press, it has the kong’s family name at the forefront of peoples’ minds, which always brings forth revenue.  

> pros: could be a lot worse considering his upbringing, collected, and level-headed most of the time. wicked good at sports, and keeps a cool head in a tough situation. ambitious, curious, a little reckless. eager to prove himself, rich? and very endeared to people/places he finds fascinating. which are many. knows where the good, authentic chinese cuisine is. hardworking and very interested in the idea of Progress.

> cons: the most private person alive, will not divulge any palatable information about himself or his feelings. devil's advocate always. will put himself and others at an arm’s length the second he feels (disgusted noises) e-emotions (love, namely). gets bored easily. paranoid, leads with the head more than the heart. friends > > > family. a little self-involved, never fucking sleeps - will be that neighbour you can hear padding around above your apartment at 3.05 am like it’s mid-day, aaaaand Loves Winning Above All Else

* personality & relationships.

> like many others, jun has his fair share of surface-level friends. he’s quick to be interested in people, to get to know them better, but it's difficult for him to get closer than that after a childhood of being picked up and dropped by those who looked over him - which kinda has left him with abandonment issues.

> he’s a curator of neat things that aren’t too overtly complex, and that includes friendships. so if you have something unusual about you, whether it's a talent or a way of thinking, he would be inclined to get to know you better. also, he has a lot of leverage with his job. being friends with a sports star slash million dollar trust fund baby who can get you free shit never hurts, just don’t befriend him for the perks, yanno?

> jun is very dedicated to his vision of things, and can sometimes be very obstinate in the way he a) wants them to be done b) doesn't accept other options, think steve jobs. he's very mercurial and can be nice one minute but isn't afraid to switch to hardass boss to get things done and did.  > he is insanely competitive and his strive is drawn out by always wanting to be on top. truly first child material. that's the kind of guy he is, with standards that do not reflect his passive side too well, which sometimes can get him into some “personality” scandals. he is driven, motivated, always looking for ways to be winning.

> i'm sure someone is bound to hate him, he’s probably got a few accounts online dedicated to a steady stream of shit-talking, given his cutthroat status or holding many hockey cups.

> jun doesn’t think too much about his sexuality - he'd probably best be labelled as pan, but leans towards those who identify as women? because of his current placement in a workspace, and with a cultural identity, that both don’t often lend themselves to lgbtq+ rights, i doubt he’d ever make that public.

> he works amongst some of the fittest people in the world, he knows how to appreciate beautiful bodies, but he's not about to discriminate. he's tragically a committaphobe and isn't interested in anything long-term right now, although i think it'd be funny if someone tried. he's very open for flings and one-night stands and even a friends with benefits sort of set up. 

* wc’s.  >  bring me his baby bro and sis. i command u. i have many thoughts  >  somebody who maybe gets in on his foster-kid situation? idk maybe they have a perception of jun being what he is in the articles they read of him, but they see him and are like <3_<3 he actually real Nice huh. i see this being romantic but it could bloom a really nice, wholesome friendship too. >  enemies. not gonna lie, he doesn’t vibe with rich kids w / a stick up their ass, especially since a lot of the people he works with aren’t from exorbitant families. people who loathe him for declining to take over his families’ business? like the boy can’t even name more than 3 artists off of the top of his head?   > fwb except neither of them know what “just friends” mean.  > i would love if jun had a confidante. a best friend, a partner in crime, a total bromance 'cause i can never get enough of those. whatever label you ‘wanna put on it. wiping up each other’s messes. maybe a Betrayal in the works  > again, gonna be a wc, but i would love a “rival” of jun's on a similar level (or bigger)  that’s entirely fabricated based off of trashy articles or a misunderstood interaction online. bonus points if they’re an absolute sweetheart, well loved by most people, and generally the antithesis of jun with his multiple drug/personality rumours, which in contrast, make him seem like the bad guy. 

> party buddy. this guy hasn’t touched alcohol/cigarettes/any other stimulants since he was underage and wanted to rebel. the word “relax” does not exist in his vocabulary. Help

[rosebloodcat]

WoW- Harry’s relation/friend ships in Wasteland

A commentor on Ao3 asked me about Harry’s friendships in Wasteland and how the toons viewed/thought of him. Not only did I deliver, I MAY have gone a little overboard on one of them.

Be warned, this got LONG.

Oswald and Harry have a kind of unique relationship, but I'd say they're pretty good friends, if not terribly close in the beginning.

Ozzy, when he first met Harry, was hesitant about being around/hanging out with him. Harry looks a lot like Mickey, which made it hard for him to be close/super friendly with him. Harry’s also a pretty “blank slate” toon when he first comes to Wasteland, even if his “design” and personality seem pretty fleshed out.

(“Blank Slate” toons are basic ideas/designs that don’t have much of a background and don’t seem very thought out yet. They’re usually background/single episode toons.)

But once he got past the resemblance, they got along pretty well and a lot of Harry's creations made his job as "King of Wasteland" easier.

Another thing to remember is that, despite everyone in Wasteland liking Oswald, it's implied that he was a bit of a recluse after the Thinner Disaster. I’d wager that he isn’t terribly familiar with newer residents because of that, so Harry would have probably flown under his radar for a while before they two of them happened to run across each other in town. But by then Harry’s probably established himself as another resident and everyone already knows him.

So Oswald mostly viewed Harry the same as everyone else in Wasteland, as a resident that he needed to help/care for.

Harry likes Oswald as a person and respects that he tried to make Wasteland into a Home for everyone, and is thankful for it. But he's also a bit of a cynic (one of his many contrasts against Mickey and a holdover from being human) and thinks there are things Oswald should have been doing instead of locking himself away. He knows Ozzy was grieving, so he doesn't really bring it up. Although he would drop hints about things Oswald should do whenever the rabbit stopped by. Kind of a “I’m a little mad at you but know you’re going through stuff so I’ll let it go” type situation.

Their relationship would probably change a bit after the Main Story here, with Oswald working harder to look out for Harry and helping him through and identity issues that may crop up. Eventually, they're fairly good friends that MAY lean into a more family-like role with each other.

(Oswald is a Dad after all, and Harry's a teen with no real father figure in his life so that could have a hand. But then again, Harry looks like Mickey, so it's also a bit of a "he's kind of a brother" situation too.)

Mickey is also sort-of friends with Harry, but he also doesn't know him as well as the other toons in Wasteland.

He was first under the impression that Harry was for a "Mistaken Identity" thing and feels bad that Harry had been "made" just to be swapped for him for a bit then forgotten, so most of their early interactions are pretty awkward on his side of things. Later on, he finds that he gets along pretty well with Harry and they shift more into being friends. He's also a bit more people-aware than Oswald and probably picks up on Harry actually being younger than him despite how similar they look pretty quickly, and that factors into his opinion too.

(Harry is, after all, a teenager compared to Mickey’s “ambiguous young adult” shtick.)

Harry is actually pretty indifferent to Mickey when he first shows up at the shop. And at first doesn't believe he’s the real Mickey, being so used to look-a-likes around Wasteland. He’s really not prepared for Gus to explain that “Yes, he’s really Mickey Mouse. He was abducted by the Blot and Mad Doctor, we’re trying to get him home again.”

He knows Ozzy doesn't like his brother but decides to take a wait-and-see approach to things, since he never really knew Mickey and wasn’t up to making a fool of himself. It's only after he hears about Mickey helping everyone around Wasteland that he decides he likes the guy. And after subsequent visits and chats, they shift to being friends. Harry is also more open to letting Mickey into areas of the shop that he normally doesn’t let people into, like the lab where he makes potions and such.

Mickey becomes more worried/protective about Harry after his past is revealed and probably makes a habit of checking in from time to time. He still can’t wrap his head around the idea of a kid genuinely losing hope in the world around him, and can’t help trying to share all the good things he knows about to help fix that.

Again, they're good friends that may lean into more family-like roles, but more along the lines of being brothers or cousins.

(Which would probably be how Mickey would explain how they knew each other/why they looked alike to his friends if they ever somehow met.)

Ortensia is someone Harry respects, but she’s also a pretty big Unknown to him. The Thinner Disaster had already happened when he appeared which means she was already Inert and Harry never got the chance to meet her until after the events of EM1. They’re mostly acquaintances but are slowly getting to know each other.

And Harry is pretty good friends/on good terms with most of the residents of Wasteland. He’s not super outgoing and can be pretty awkward at times, but he does make friends and tries to help out where he can.

One of his friends is Madame Leona from the Haunted Mansion, as they both share an interest in magic and the forms it takes.

She’s also the only person in Wasteland that Harry has to actively seek out in order to talk. They have bi-weekly tea sessions where they talk shop, share the most recent book/magic they’ve been looking at, and spill gossip about the rest of Wasteland. There are probably a number of ghosts who join in too and add in their own gossip and reading suggestions.

(Basically, it’s like a supernatural Book Club!)

Gremlin Gus is probably more of an acquaintance than a friend. They know of each other, but aren’t terribly close. They talk on occasion, but it’s more in-passing than anything else.

He worries more about Harry after the story, but it’s in a protective, borderline-parental way.

I think another friend of his, maybe even his Best Friend, would be Gremlin Prescott.

It might seem a little odd, but I think they would bond over their love of creating new things to help out Wasteland and sharing the projects they’re working on with each other. They’ve probably even put their heads together to make joint projects too!

Having the drive to actually create in Wasteland seems pretty rare, most toons seems to prefer using pre-made things or following already created recipes. Most of the Gremlins don’t seem interested in making new machines and focus more on maintaining what’s already there instead. And toons don’t seem to want to make anything new or pursue new projects, always trying to keep up their familiar habits and lifestyles.

(There are a few exceptions, but this seems to be mostly true.)

Part of this could be because of the Thinner Disaster and the Blotlings. It’s hard to find motivation to build/make something new if you know it’s just going to get destroyed, so a lot of them seem to have developed a “Why Bother?” mindset about it. Which results in everyone being stuck in a rut, and they can’t really find anything new to cheer themselves up and contributes to the frustration/sadness everybody suffers from.

That makes Harry’s Alchemy Shoppe and Prescott’s inventions unique. They’re always trying to make something, even if it might not stick around or be appreciated very much. And it’s something they both enjoy doing. Both of them appreciate the work the other puts into their projects and they bounce ideas off each other a lot.

They probably know each other really well, too, and can name the other’s favorite foods/books/interests without a second thought (and be right about it). They’re the kind of friends that can hang out in each other’s work spaces without talking and be perfectly happy about it, or spend hours gushing about their latest interest/project and not get bored with it.

They’re best friends, which would also make the events of EM2 so interesting since it would add an extra element to Prescott’s motivations.

Prescott isn’t just frustrated that no one can see his genius, he’s frustrated because no one can see the genius of his Best Friend either. Wasteland is finally recovering from the Thinner Disaster, but the work he and Harry had been putting in through it all had never been appreciated as much as he felt it should have been.

He wants both of them to be recognized, and is frustrated that no one seems to pay attention to their work, even if Harry doesn’t seem bothered by it.

It also adds an interesting duality/angle to Prescott’s relationship with the Mad Doctor.

Prescott is proud of his mechanical inventions and wants to be recognized for his work on them, both of which the Doctor promises to him. And while Harry is his best friend, he knows Harry’s never been a tech guy/mechanic and that a lot of Prescott’s interests go right over his head. But Harry’s still super supportive about them and is always ready to listen, which Prescott deeply appreciates.

But the Doctor gets him. He doesn’t just listen to Prescott when he talks about machines, he understands him. He understands the tools, the lingo, the schematics, everything. Prescott’s never had anyone outside of his fellow Gremlins understand him and be interested in what new things he wanted to create. It’s a new intoxicating experience and he can’t help being caught up in it.

Harry, on the other hand, isn’t interested in being recognized for his work. He just wants to help out where he can make the life of himself and everyone else in Wasteland easier. Their difference in opinion is one of the few things they get into arguments about, which unintentionally fuels Prescott’s motives to help the Doctor after a bad fight before the start of EM2.

Harry is worried about Prescott for most of EM2, first for his distance at the beginning then for how strange the idea of him intentionally wrecking Wasteland. But he never gives up on Prescott as a person, saying that something wasn’t right and that he wouldn’t do that for no reason.

During the story, Prescott is pretty much the only one who knows what’s going on and is desperately trying to help as best he can. He knows something is wrong with Harry and wants to help him, but he’s a prisoner and there’s only so much he can do. From trying to send hints, to remotely controlling/fixing things, to putting barricades to slow things down. He deeply hates the helpless feelings he has while there.

After the story, he throws himself into trying to help Harry and make up for the damage to their friendship, as well as the hurt he caused the rest of Wasteland.

It takes it a while for them to mend things between them, but it’s easier for Harry to forgive Prescott since he’s sincere about his guilt and is actively trying to make up for it. (And not just showing up and saying “Sorry, I did a bad. Friends again?” and expecting Harry to forgive him.) Things are a little rocky, but they’re working on it.

[traincat]

how many relationships has Johnny had? did they /all/ end badly or does he, like, actually have some good ones in there

I wouldn’t say all of Johnny’s relationships are bad. He has some bad ones, some real bad ones, some good ones, some utterly forgettable ones, and some weird ones. I sometimes think a character’s first relationship kind of sets the tone for their future relationship history, like Peter Parker being in the middle of two love triangles and being the hot item in both of them. In Johnny’s case, his first relationship involved his girlfriend lamenting that he wasn’t more like other boys and saying she wished he wasn’t so flaming all the time. It’s a metaphor. But Johnny Storm’s relationship history, the quick and dirty version. For the sake of simplicity, I won’t be including one off mentions of celebrity dates and only addressing on page relationships.

Dorrie Evans: Johnny’s high school girlfriend who, as noted above, hated his flaming on and often compared him unfavorably to other boys, such as Peter Parker. Their relationship ended when Johnny ghosted her until she broke up with him, although they apparently remained on good enough terms for Dorrie to lend Johnny her car shortly afterward. When Johnny and Crystal broke up, Johnny tried to get back together with Dorrie only to find out she was married with kids. And that’s why we have Facebook now.

Valeria of the 5th Dimension: A beautiful blue girl who developed a crush on Johnny when he briefly ended up in her dimension during his Strange Tales days, Johnny mostly seemed awkward around Valeria. They kissed once later after Johnny broke up with Crystal (you may notice Johnny has a habit of revisiting past relationships, usually unsuccessfully) and then nothing ever happened with them again, and it’s unlikely to come back up seeing as Johnny now has a niece named Valeria (after a third totally unrelated Fantastic Four Valeria).

Crystal Amaquelin: Probably the most popular and well known of Johnny’s relationships, and for a good reason. Johnny and Crystal started their relationship as star-crossed teen lovers from different worlds yearning to be with each other, a superhero Romeo and Juliet without the murder-suicide, and once they are together, they’re honestly pretty cute.

(FF #67) They’re cute! That it’s probably Johnny’s happiest, most stable relationship is probably the reason it gets revisited a lot in AUs and future What Ifs, although I personally think the charm of it is in the teenage puppy love and that returning to it isn’t the best move for either character. The relationship falls apart when Crystal, who can’t tolerate the outside world’s polluted atmosphere, returns to the Inhumans and falls in love with Quicksilver, who she later married. Johnny took the break up hard, and he and Crystal later had an emotional affair when Crystal was on the Fantastic Four after leaving Pietro and when Johnny had only just gotten married, but things never progressed to a physical level mostly because Johnny refused to cheat.

Frankie Raye: Originally created by Roy Thomas, Frankie Raye was a beautiful redheaded girl with a deep-seated fear of fire who seemed tormented by Johnny’s status as a superhero. Thomas originally intended for her to be the daughter of Toro Raymond, the sidekick of the original Human Torch, but Frankie dropped off the pages before that could be revealed. Johnny briefly dated a girl named Lorrie Melton who he met while racing, but Lorrie broke up with him when it became apparent he was more interested in a serious relationship than she was. Frankie Raye resurfaced in Byrne’s run, where Byrne reworked her backstory so that, instead of Toro’s daughter, Frankie was the step-daughter of Phineas Horton, the man who created the original android Human Torch. As a child, Frankie suffered an accident that gave her flame powers. Horton hypnotized her to give her flame powers and to make her dress in a golden leotard to help control her powers. Frankie’s powers reawakened and for a time she joined the Fantastic Four, but her deep yearning to be wild and free -- an interesting contrast with how tightly under control Johnny keeps his powers -- led to her making the decision to become Galactus’ new Herald, a decision that left Johnny near suicidal when she left the planet.

(FF #244)

I don’t think there was anything wrong with Johnny and Frankie’s relationship during the duration of it, although I will note that it does the opposite of heat up, so to speak, once Frankie gets her powers, and that they had certain ideological differences that didn’t speak to a great future together. (Frankie occasionally displayed a violent side that on at least one occasion worried Johnny.) Much later, an alternate universe Frankie Raye who expressed feelings for Johnny violently assaulted him in the middle of battle, kissing him before throwing him to the ground, though.

Julie Angel and Sharon Selleck: Julie Angel was Frankie Raye’s roommate who, after Frankie disappeared with Galactus, Johnny developed a crush on, attending the same acting classes as her, although she didn’t seem to reciprocate his feelings. Her friend, Sharon Selleck, developed a crush on Johnny but when she made a move on him he rebuffed her:

(FF #259) If you read Fantastic Four, Johnny will occasionally say he used to date Julie, but it’s simply not true -- Julie does kiss him once, but he doesn’t reciprocate the embrace, and laments afterwards that he’s over her anyway, so. Mark those down at not relationships.

Zsaji: An alien Johnny shared a flirtation and a few kisses with during the original Secret Wars event. Johnny wasn’t very emotionally invested in the relationship, which is odd for him given he usually goes from 0 to 60 on the “now we’re in love” meter. Colossus was very emotionally invested, though. Very, very emotionally invested.

“Alicia Masters”/Lyja: Retroactively revealed to be the Skrull Lyja, Johnny and Alicia started dating in secret after Ben remained in space after Secret Wars. While Lyja would later admit that she got close to Johnny specifically for her mission, she claimed she only originally meant to be a confidante before falling in love with him, but it’s hard to tell with Lyja what you can and can’t take at face value when the character frequently lies. Johnny and Alicia officially get together in Fantastic Four #275, which marks Johnny’s first “sex scene” in the form of a morning after scene where he appears regretful about the night and might even be trying to break off the relationship before Alicia convinces him to continue it:

For reference, Peter’s first published “after the deed” scene is in Amazing Spider-Man #150, published 10 years before this. Though it caused problems with Ben when he returned from space, Johnny and Alicia got married in Fantastic Four #300, although pretty immediately there were relationship problems, including a lack of chemistry. Johnny had 1.5 emotional affairs, the first with Crystal. Later, when he was bodyjacked by Ravonna Ravenslayer in guise of Nebula, who used his powers to kill people and hit on Gladiator because I don’t know, she thought he was into blond twinks, I guess. Though the bodyjacking by Nebula is depicted to be both physically painful and emotionally traumatizing, with it being specifically compared to an incident where Johnny loses control of his powers, and overall a not so subtle rape metaphor, Johnny laments afterwards that he can’t stop thinking about how beautiful Nebula was and is guilty over the fact that he’s more attracted to her than Alicia. (I think the attempt was to make the original story both consensual and straight when it was neither.) 

Shortly after this, “Alicia” is revealed by Ben and Alicia’s father to be a Skrull impostor and it comes out that Johnny never was with the real Alicia at all, her having been switched out when he was off planet. I have a couple of long posts unpacking The Lyja Story -- it’s a long, long story -- linked in this post but I think it’s important to note that Johnny thought he was consenting to a romantic and sexual relationship with a friend he trusted and not with an alien spy who had a mission to harm his family. Not only that, but after the Skrull reveal, Lyja attempts to murder Johnny, lies to him twice about a baby, once in an incident that could’ve led to the deaths of him and his family, and when Johnny specifically told her he didn’t want to see her anymore she invented a new identity -- Laura Green -- so she could continue to be with him without his knowledge, explicitly stating that she knows if Johnny knew it was her he wouldn’t want to be with her. She also used the Laura identity to insult and belittle him, calling him “trite and simple” and “pedestrian.” So when you want to talk about bad relationships Johnny’s been in, I think it’s hard to beat the one where he was raped, gaslit, abused, and stalked. A lot of writers tend to refer to this genuinely as a romance but I think it’s important to talk about what actually went on in the relationship and how it’s a pretty horrifying violation of Johnny on every level.

Alysande “Caledonia” Stuart: After Lyja disappeared from the pages following Heroes Reborn, Johnny rescued a woman from another Earth named Alysande Stuart and essentially hid her from the family in the basement. (They all knew.) Though Johnny implied he had feelings for Alysande and Alysande swore a deep loyalty to him, nothing physical ever happens between them, and the relationship never evolved beyond the platonic. They did go to Comic Con together once. 

Namorita: Johnny briefly dated Namor’s cousin Namorita after they discovered they were a hit with the paparazzi, in the first of Johnny’s “celebrity” relationships that seem more based on their respective profiles than any honest attraction. Namorita and Johnny never spend much time together, something Fantastic Four itself remarks on. They break up off-screen. The comic itself doesn’t make the link that Johnny might’ve been targeted because of his former connection to her, but after Namorita dies in the Stanford Incident that incites comics’ Civil War, an angry mob beats Johnny into a coma. 

Kourtney: A model Johnny briefly dated. This is another celebrity relationship -- and one where they don’t even seem to like each other very much. Kourtney complains about attending Franklin’s birthday party and breaks up with Johnny when the Fantastic Four lose their fortune, although they later briefly get back together. Nothing much to write home about here.

(Marvel Knights 4 #2)

Psionics: A bad girl bank robber Johnny briefly had a sexual relationship with -- before she helped a future version of Sue abduct him to use him as a power source in a move that might have killed him. Psionics later kisses Johnny, but the art suggests he doesn’t reciprocate before departing for a new planet. When they next see each other, Psionics attempts to kidnap Val and kills Alyssa Moy, a family friend of the Fantastic Four, in front of Johnny, before she’s murdered, also in front of Johnny.

Daken: This one is a doozy in part because the actual relationship is in a bit of a canonical grey area -- it’s only ever implied, although the implications are not at all subtle, that Johnny had a romantic and/or sexual relationship with Daken, Wolverine’s 70 pansexual son.

(Daken #4) Like I said: the implications aren’t subtle. Daken ingratiates himself with the Fantastic Four mostly through Johnny, including engineering his meeting with them by shooting Johnny through the thigh with an arrow. (Johnny doesn’t know Daken shot him, but also, holy penetration metaphor, Batman.) Daken later tricks Johnny into thinking he’s dead, fakes an attack on Franklin so he can stage it to seem like he rescued him, and then mostly likely, going by the above panels, had sex with Johnny right after, though again, that’s just an implication. I say this is a canon grey area because, while Marvel the conglomerate hasn’t acknowledged any canonical attraction to men on Johnny’s part, Marjorie Liu did say in a tweet that the subtext was intentional and readers were meant to sense something was up. After this encounter, Daken steals from Reed’s lab, and the next time Johnny sees him (which is after Johnny’s stint in the Negative Zone) Daken tells him that “real people stay dead.” Then Daken tries to murder Reed. I do hope that if/when Johnny comes out it’s revealed he’s head other relationships with men because this is a hell of a first one if otherwise.

Darla Deerling: Another Johnny celebrity relationship. Johnny dated pop star Darla Deering for a hot minute before getting her to take his place on an emergency replacement Fantastic Four, where Darla met and fell in love with Scott Lang. On his return, Johnny wasn’t too broken up about it, telling Wyatt Wingfoot that he was more attracted to Darla’s rock star lifestyle than to Darla herself. Lot to unpack there.

Rogue: Rogue and Johnny dated, allegedly, during the time skip after the 2015 Secret Wars, but we never see it on the actual page, and it’s acknowledged by most canon that Johnny is a huge mess during this point in time, grieving very badly for the family he thinks is lost. They flirt a little bit after their alleged break up during their time together on the Uncanny Avengers team but I have to admit, it can very easily be read as friendly.

(Avengers #689)

Medusa: Yes, as in, Crystal’s older sister, Medusa. This one’s a mess largely in part to the fact that the writer didn’t do the research and backread the Fantastic Four issues where Medusa was on the team with Johnny, where they were actually quite close although not romantically involved. Medusa and Johnny keep their relationship secret, which of course blows up in their faces when Crystal inevitably finds out and is furious with them. I think it’s easy to read this relationship as Johnny trying to latch onto what family he has left -- Ben is in space and not talking to him at this point in time, Reed and Sue and the kids are presumed dead -- in an effort not to self-destruct in a way that doesn’t quite work. The relationship ends with a whimper and not a bang when Medusa leaves Johnny.

So there you have it! The relationship history of Johnny Storm.

[iambicbrose]

Draco Malfoy and the Traitorous Marauder - Chapter 19

Part Three of the Time Twister Series

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Narcissa Malfoy/Lucius Malfoy

Tags: Past Child Abuse, Time Travel, Gryffindor Draco Malfoy

Summary: Draco Malfoy, after travelling back in time, beating a shade of Voldemort, and befriending Harry Potter, has survived his first two years of Hogwarts. He’s now in his third year, again, and looking forward to the peace and quiet that comes with it. So, yes, things between him and Harry are getting complicated, his cousin Sirius Black has escaped Azkaban, and there’s a strange black dog following him and Harry all the way to Hogwarts - oh, right, and he’s been given a time turner to use in his classes so now he has even more to keep track of. Other than that, though, it’s going to be a perfectly normal year!

Read the next chapter at AO3 or under the cut!

“You always panic every year and every year it turns out fine.” Harry was sitting on Draco’s bed and looking amused, the traitor. “We still have almost five hours until the ball, Dray.”

“Well- But this time it’s different,” Draco tried to tell him for only the hundredth time. Harry only shook his head.

“How is it different this time?”

Draco crossed his arms as he stood turned away from Harry to instead look out the window. “We weren’t us. And we weren’t… We weren’t thirteen.”

“The whole courting thing has really got you freaked out about all of this, doesn't it?”

“Well of course it does! I expect you’re only not bothered because you weren’t raised with this.” Draco took a deep breath. “You learned history at your muggle school?”

“Yeah, of course.” Harry frowned, finally starting to look worried. “What’s muggle history have to do with anything?”

“So then… You know about kings and kingdoms and princes and princesses.”

“I mean, I know the basics and stuff like that, at least.”

Draco nodded and alright… Just spare parchment and quill and ink. “Alright.” He drew two big circles. “So, you know what happens when two kingdoms join together?”

“Uh… Both kingdoms get stronger?” Harry shook his head. “You’re getting way too into this, you know.”

“And what happens if something bad happens between the two. Say- Say they had an agreement, and one backed out.”

“I imagine the kingdoms wouldn’t be too happy- Ooh.” Now he got it. “So it’s important for family status and those types of things.”

“Technically speaking, when we were born, Pansy and I were… intended for one another.”

“You and- Seriously? You guys treat each other like siblings half the time!”

“Yes, it helps to begin the process at a young age so the courting is natural when a betrothed pair is older.”

“You said intended, though. That’s no longer gonna happen anymore, then?” Ah, yes. Draco could see why Harry would be worried about that.

“I don’t believe so. Pansy, anyhow, doesn’t much see me like that, and… In case you haven’t noticed, Pansy is rather good at getting what she wants.”

“Thank God for that, I guess. So, wait, that means anyone could ask you to court or whatever, right? Or do your parents have to approve?”

“Well, they don’t have to, though it makes everything easier in the long run. If your parents disapprove of your courting partner or your bond, if you go so far, then they can deny you access to the family accounts, leave you out of the wards, or even burn you off of the family tree, which is the greatest dishonor that can be inflicted on a pureblood. To be erased from the history of your family.”

“Oh.” Harry swallowed, suddenly looking very pale. “So they- They typically approve when the family is a good family, yeah? Well known and pureblood and all that?”

“Typically, unless there’s bad blood between the two specific families.”

“Right. Got it. Hey, uh, you keep getting ready and I’ll meet up with you at the ball, okay? I need to ask your mom something about the ball.”

“Oh. Alright, if you’re sure. You’re sure you’ll be alright?” The other was already scrambling towards the door.

“Yeah! I’ll be dressed and ready and meet you there, no worries! Love you see you later!”

“Alright, I’ll-” The door slammed shut, and Draco winced. “See you.” What on earth had gotten into him? Although, Harry had been nervous since they woke up that morning. Was he coming down with something? Hm… Draco would have to make sure he was alright, later. As it was, now, he needed to start getting ready. His first official debut as a pureblood ‘of age.’

Oh, goodness, this was so stressful. Had it been this bad the first time around? Most likely, no. Now that Draco knew what was coming in the future, he knew how important this could be. He just needed to stay calm and he was certain things would be okay. Everyone knew he was dating Harry, after all. There was no possible way anyone would ask to court him unless… Would his parents allow him to deny a courting proposal? Other parents may put their daughters up to it, even if it was traditionally the place of the young man to propose a courtship.

He should probably speak to his parents before the ball truly began. It would- It would be nice to at least know if he had the option of declining. Yes. He’d ask Narcissa first. Draco made his way to his mother’s usual dressing rooms for this sort of thing. His parents both getting prepared in the same space was only a recipe for disaster. He was just about to knock when he frowned at seeing the door was opened slightly.

“-says no? I mean- I mean what if it’s something he doesn’t want! He’s been so stressed out about the idea of all of this.” That was Harry. Why was Harry sounding so panicked?

“He won’t. It really is sweet how much you’re worrying over his feelings.”

“That’s kind of the whole point of asking to court him, isn’t it?”

“Sometimes. Other times, it’s not so easy,” she told him. “Lucius - Draco’s father - proposed a courtship to me when I was only a little older than you, and I accepted, though I didn’t love him like you two do one another.”

“Really?” Harry sounded surprised. Actually, he sounded almost shocked. “But, I mean… You two are great together.”

“Now, yes. Ours was an arranged marriage. We grew to love each other over time, though.”

“I’m not sure if that’s helping, Mrs. Malfoy, because now it’s just making me think that Draco might not care about me in the way I care about him.”

“What would lead you to believe such a thing?”

“A… A few things, but I just… I don’t want to force him into anything or have him say yes just because it’s what I want. I want him to want it, too.”

“And what makes you think he doesn’t? I’m not understanding, so explain it.” There was a minute where Harry was silent and Draco could easily picture him tugging at his hair as he looked for the words.

“He still thinks we’re young, which, yeah, I understand that, but I also feel like in a lot of this he indulges me, maybe? It’s- He lets me set the pace for everything and I know that’s because he doesn’t want to overwhelm me, but I also… I sometimes think he’s just comfortable with it and I’m the only one who wants it, if that makes sense.”

“May I tell you something, Harry, with the understanding you won’t breathe a word to anyone else?”

“I promise I won’t repeat whatever you’re about to tell me.”

“Draco was always a very nervous child, and I doubt he’s yet grown out of it.”

“Draco? Nervous?”

Narcissa laughed quietly. “He is very good at hiding it, isn’t he?”

“Spectacularly so, if that’s true. He’s- He’s not really nervous now, though, is he? I mean, it’s Draco.”

“He’s more so than he ever used to be.”

“So you think he’s like this because he’s nervous of… me?”

“Maybe it’s that, or maybe he’s cautious of what’s between the two of you. He may not seem like it, but he is so like his father in that regard. During our courtship, Lucius was very soft, and very careful.”

“So he’s just being careful because… he thinks he might ruin things, maybe?” Harry didn’t sound as panicked as he had when Draco had first overheard them.

“I think that’s exactly what it is.”

“Right… Okay. Right. Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy.”

“Of course, darling. You know what to do?”

“I really hope I do. But, uh, just to be clear, do I say the words, first, or do I give him the bracelet, first?”

“You make your proclamation first, then as you ask him, you present your gift.”

“Got it.” Harry’s voice was getting closer and that let Draco know that his time was up and he needed to very quickly think of an excuse or escape. “Right. I can do this.” Draco quickly stepped backward a few steps before walking forward again, making his footsteps more pronounced.

He knocked on the door, “Mother? I wanted to ask- Oh. Harry. You’re still getting ready?” Harry’s face turned a bright red and his hair frizzed up immediately.

“No- Yes! Yes, uh, bye!” Harry quickly moved by him before near running down the hall.

Draco watched before stepping into the room. “Mother, I had a question…” But if Harry had planned it all with her, then he didn’t need to ask it… 

“What is it, darling?” Narcissa was definitely pleased about what Harry was planning, and… Bloody hell. Harry was going to ask to court him tonight.

Draco took a moment to think before smiling. “What color is Harry wearing, tonight?”

“Black and emerald,” Narcissa smiled back. “Going to match, I take it?”

“Of course. What else?”

“Hm. Use black as your accent color and emerald as your main.” Narcissa said, grin widening. “The contrast will look lovely.”

Draco hugged his mother. “Thank you, mother. For everything.”

“Of course, darling.” Narcissa hugged him back tightly, running a hand through his hair. “Just be sure to act surprised.”

“Of course.” He bit at his lip. “What if someone asks before he does?”

“Then you have my full permission to decline them in whatever manner you see fit.” Narcissa pulled back, expression soft. “I see how much you two love each other.”

“You think he does?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thank you, mother. I ought to get ready, then. Big night, and all.”

“Don’t tease him too much once it’s all said and done. He’s been as nervous as you.”

“Of course not. Thank you!”

It took a lot less time to get ready for the ball after that and Draco knew it was mostly because he was looking forward to what Harry would be asking him that night. Merlin, he still couldn’t believe it. Harry was going to ask to court him. He had gone and looked into courting and everything because he wanted Draco. After he had gotten himself properly dressed, he couldn’t help but to look in the mirror and beam.

Having taken his mother’s advice, his robes were a gorgeous emerald that was near exactly the color of Harry’s eyes - or at least, as close as he could get. Deep blacks softened the look and brought it all together and this was going to be the best ball of his life. But, hm… He felt there needed to be a little more… Glancing to his hair, Draco smirked. He took out his wand and pointed it up at his bangs, watching the very tips of them streak through with black.

It looked… It looked good. Black didn’t look so bad on him, but he was still a bit fond of his usual blond hair. The two seemed to work pretty well together, though. Hopefully Harry would like it- “What in Merlin’s name did you just do to your hair?” Ah. Pansy.

“What? You don’t like it? I thought it looked nice.” Draco frowned back at the mirror. Pansy did have good taste and if she said it didn’t look good, she was probably right.

“Hm.” Pansy walked over to look at him from the front, studying him for a long moment before nodding. “I’ll reserve final opinion, but for now it looks good on you.”

“Thank you.” He sighed with relief. “So? What do you think? Mother said Harry would be wearing black with emerald accent.”

“I think you two are going to be absolutely dashing.” Pansy’s smile turned sly. “I actually caught a peek of Harry’s outfit on my way over to you. It’s… Well. You’re going to like it, I think.” Draco couldn't help but to pull her into a hug. He really was trying to do it all properly, wasn't he? “Everything alright, darling? You’re very emotional, tonight.”

“Everything is perfect, Pansy. A nice ball at home, no deaths to worry about, and I'm definitely going to be top of the class, this year!”

“Oh, that reminds me, Hermione and Blaise are in your library. They said they’d meet up with us at the ball later tonight.”

“Oh fine, but they'd better put every single book back where they found it!”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that. They’re probably not too concerned about reading right now.”

“What? What do- Pancella!” He huffed as she tittered, quickly getting herself out of range.

“Come on, then! We have a grand entrance to make!”

Draco made his way quickly to the doors just outside the staircase, grinning at seeing Harry there. “I'm not too late, am I?”

“You’re right on time.” Harry was dressed in a new pair of dress robes that Draco had never even seen. They were a deep black, but splashes of emerald matched Draco’s own robes perfectly. His hair was also more curled than usual and looked perfect on him. “New hairstyle?”

“I could say the same to you. Trying to impress someone?” Draco smirked, holding his hand out. Harry took it at once, gently kissing his knuckles and oh, okay. He was going for charming tonight, then.

“Only if it’s working.”

“Very well. Shall we?”

“Only if you don’t laugh at me when I embarrass myself.” Harry held Draco’s hand tightly, sneaking a kiss to his cheek.

“I'll try my best.” Draco opened the door for them, giving Harry a small bow. “After you.” Harry seemed to allow himself one more quiet moment of panic before he put on a smile and entered the ballroom. He really was getting a lot better at this. Draco was at his side in a moment. “You're doing fine. Smiles on the outside, panic on the inside.”

“That’s such a lame line,” Harry grinned, looking to be fighting back a laugh. “You realize how stupid that sounds, right?”

Draco smiled back. “Is it working?”

“Extremely well. Right. We bow at each other and then start dancing, yeah?”

“Just like every other time. Ready?”

“With you here? Always.” The two both bowed just enough to be respectable before they came together, Draco taking the lead position as they smiled and began. Harry was much more relaxed than he used to be, but still nervously shooting a look to his feet every few moments.

“Harry, love, you’re doing perfectly fine. Stop fretting so much.” Huffing, Harry looked back upt to Draco.

“Easy for you to say. You’ve been doing this for longer than I’ve been alive.”

“...Please don’t ever say that again.”

“Trust me, I don’t want to even think it again,” Harry muttered, nose wrinkling. “I can’t even think of you as older when you act less mature than I do.”

“What? No I don’t,” he immediately argued.

“You sometimes do.” Harry tilted his head, studying him for a moment before smiling. “You’re serious when I need you, though.”

“Of course I am,” he rolled his eyes. “You always need me.” 

“Yeah. I think I kinda do. Wanna do another dance?”

“You want to?”

“I guess I’m starting to warm up to them.”

“Well then? What are we waiting for?” Draco beamed, pulling him into another dance as they passed by his parents. Lucius was looking fond and happy as he led Narcissa in a dance of their own, Narcissa glancing to Harry as they passed and giving him a gentle smile which only caused Harry to swallow and look much more nervous.

“S-So, uh, how are… things? Classes?” Oh, Harry.

Draco only played along, giving him a teasing frown. “I expect better than you, seeing as you've been avoiding your studies as much as possible.”

“Me? Avoiding my studies? I would never.” Harry’s nervousness faded for a twitch of a smile. “I’ve just been planning to do them later in the holidays than most would.”

“So we'll do them after Christmas? That's a promise?”

“I won’t say it’s a promise, but I’ll do my absolute best to get my homework done before we go back to school.” As the two slowed, Draco nodded.

“Maybe Christmas Eve night we can do our Astronomy.”

“That… sounds really nice.” The two were silent for a moment before Harry cleared his throat. “So, uh, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Did you? What about?” Alright. Just act calm and surprised.

“It’s kind of about us, I guess. I wanted to wait until Christmas, but I felt like this day would be better. That and I’m too nervous to wait.” Harry gave a lopsided grin. “So, uh, right. Yeah.”

“Well, you know you can ask me anything, Harry.”

“Right.” Harry’s eyes narrowed and Draco had only a second to make sure Harry wouldn’t be able to tell he knew. “You heard me talking to your mom today, didn’t you?”

“What? Why, what were you talking to her about? Did you get me the new Firebolt? Because if you did you can have my old broom.”

“You’re forgetting how well I know you.” Harry was starting to flush again and Draco had honestly believed that Harry’s hair couldn’t get any curlier than that.

“What's that got to do with anything?” There was a huff of a laugh, Harry leaning forward to kiss Draco’s cheek.

“I know when you’re hiding something and I know that you accidentally eavesdropping would happen when it’s something this important.”

“Well… Well it's about time you got a taste of it. So? What did you get me?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Harry was smiling anyways as he tightened his grip on Draco. “You know I actually have to say all the words and everything first, right? And that you’re really ruining the moment?”

“Well? Go on, then. I'm not stopping you.” There was a long silence where Draco impatiently waited before Harry laughed.

“I- I completely forgot all the words I was going to say.”

Draco laughed as well, the two having finally come to a stop. “Then ask me already, you berk.”

“Draco Lucius Malfoy.” Harry gave a bit of a grin, words quiet and hushed and for Draco and Draco alone. “Will you do me, Harry James Potter, the honor of allowing me to court you and follow the traditions of both our families and promise not to laugh because I forgot the rest of it.” Draco laughed.

“I would, and I accept your courtship proposal.” For once, Draco wasn’t thinking about what could change or what had changed or what was different. He could only watch as Harry patted at his pockets before pulling out a small and nicely wrapped gift.

“What is it?” Draco beamed at the gift, holding his hands out. Harry set it in his hands, still blushing and smiling.

“It’s- Well, okay, so, your mom told me about how jewelry was usually the first gift in a courtship, but there’s also this thing in the muggle world about this kind of stuff.”

Draco stared down at the bracelet with… With a single green bead. “What’s this?” It was horribly plain.

“They’re meant to be matching,” Harry took the box back and held up the other one that had a grey bead. “They also have some protection charms on them and a few other spells. So if you get hit by a stunner, then you can shake it off as long as you’re wearing this.” Draco stared at the two bracelets as Harry slipped his own on.

“Oh. Harry, that’s so sweet.” Draco kept his wrist still as Harry reached out to put the bracelet on, giving a little smile as it settled into place.

“It’s coded to magic, too, so only one of us can take it off. That took some work. The beads also…” Harry trailed off for a moment, fiddling with the green bead on Draco’s wrist. “You worry a lot and sometimes you don’t need to. This bead glows when I’m in danger, but only if I’m in real danger.” Looking back to Harry again, Draco’s eyes widened and he leaned forward, pulling at Harry’s collar to bring him closer until their lips met in the middle.

There was a moment where Harry was utterly still against him before he was carefully pressing closer and then melting against him. When they finally parted, Harry was staring at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “Can we do that again?” Draco grinned and brought Harry closer again, kissing him gently. And it… It was nice. He liked it.

It felt like both seconds and hours before they pulled back again, Harry’s grin only getting wider the longer he stared at him. “You like it, then?”

Draco nodded, cupping Harry’s cheek. “Do you?”

“More than anything.” Harry leaned into the touch before clearing his throat. “We should probably get out of here, though, before your mom tries to make a thing out of this.”

“Well, did you ask her to make something out of it?”

“I asked her not to. She didn’t seem like she listened to that part, though.”

“Loving family and friends.” Oh dear. Narcissa’s words were loud and clear and she looked right at them for a knowing few seconds.

“Can we run? Let’s run. Please?”

“As always it is my pleasure to have you here. This year, it is also my honor to announce a special occasion.”

“No. We’re staying.”

“Why are we staying?” Harry looked horrified, but he was curling close to Draco anyways, already picking at Draco’s bracelet.

“Because, Harry, this is special. I know you don’t understand it, but… But it is.” While Narcissa talked, Harry reached in to kiss Draco’s cheek.

“I know.” He spoke just as Narcissa announced their courtship, and all eyes fell to the two of them. Draco only smiled, his back straightening. “Are we supposed to say something?”

“Not now.”

“That means we say something eventually?”

“If we want to. Do you want to?”

“Uh…” That would be a very solid no, then.

Draco waved. “Thank you, mother. But we shouldn’t let this distract from the festivities. Please, everyone, let’s dance.”

A resounding cheer went up, but Draco could see Pansy working her way over towards them, Harry clutching his hand in a death grip. “Now we really need to run.”

“Right then. Let’s go!” It reminded Draco of all those months ago when they had slipped out of Harry’s birthday ball, but this time he felt the bracelet against his wrist and it all felt perfect. He was never going to let go of it.

[luci-is-a-devil-]

First Lies and Second Tries

Word Count: 4,217

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Crack, Dark thoughts? 

A/N: This has been in the works for a while, and today I decided it’d be great to write 3.7K of it today! So you get it now, how wonderful! This is also trash but I hope you enjoy it! Please understand that this is very odd, i’d love to hear your thoughts on it and stories you may want! As always, I recommend reading on desktop, editing on mobile is shitty!!

The single word that was inked on your wrist since you were born was interesting, although very difficult to even fathom finding your soulmate. Usually it was a sentence, even though a couple of words was rare, a single word was a one in a thousand. That was you, inked with the first lie your soulmate would say to you.

"No."

When you were younger you fantasized about how you'd meet your soulmate, how the lie would be something small that you could get past. As you got older, you realized that was improbable. There was more of a chance that you would break up and you wouldn't know it was them.

There were so many other ways that people had found their soulmates, having their first lie to you tattooed on your skin since birth had to be the most difficult one. You'd rather see in black and white and experience colors for the first time together, or even have the day they would die on your wrist.

You had gotten used to it, ignoring the two letters on your wrist except to cover it up with concealer. When you had first started dating, it was difficult to bear the thought of not being soulmates with him. Your fear came true one night, when you knew that he was lying to you. Your tears fell and he laughed, thinking that he had hurt you, he had but not for the reason he though he had.

Three breaks up later and being single for a few years, you found that being alone was a lot better than having to worry. So you stayed alone, focusing on school and your friends, happy when they found their soulmates but anxious that yours wouldn't stay.

There was always a little seed of doubt in the back of your mind, hidden away in the depths of the darkest corner, where every negative thought was stored, to be worried about at night.

That's why you were afraid to start dating again, or maybe that's the reason you had decided on just so you wouldn't have to think about your soulmate, it was a solution, not a healthy one.

"Y/N? Can you cover for me? Hello?"

You turned your head to see you friend bending over to whisper to you, making puppy eyes at you. Rolling your eyes at him, you nodded.

"You get my Saturday next week."

"Deal."

The lesson ended and you grabbed your bag, not bothering to organize the papers you were shoving inside. Yugyeom rushed over, thanking you for covering his shift. Replying that it was no problem, the two of you walked out of the classroom.

"A date with Jeongguk on a Wednesday?" You questioned him, shaking your head at their poor planning skills. "The people who own the bowling alley are going to ban you two someday."

Yugyeom Punched your shoulder, glaring at you with flushed cheeks that he couldn't blame on the cold. You laughed at him, waving him goodbye as you rushed to the bus stop. If you were gonna cover, you needed to hurry up.

The bus took you from campus to the art museum you worked at, it was an easy job, that's why both you and Yugyeom worked there. You quickly went to the back and stuffed your items into your locker, changing into your uniform in record time.

They usually just had you stationed at on place in case someone needed help finding the bathroom or needed to be directed to another employee. Since it was a Wednesday, there were few people inside, the only few sad souls who happened to reside there besides the employees were some teenagers and elders.

You were stationed in front of some intricate art that made no sense to you, the colors clashed and seemed that it was painted in a hurry to you, of course you would never say that aloud though. The amount of art snobs that came by with a love of arguing could still be here in between the elders and teens that were making fun of the statures naked figures.

As you avoided the eyes of strangers that looked at the art you stood by, you zoned out in order to keep your sanity. Only coming back to reality when you could feel someones eyes on you. It was someone you hadn't noticed in your quick glaze over who had resided in to semi small museum. It was a boy around your height, wearing a diamond pattered jacket over a white shirt, his dark brown hair contrasted the shades he wore.

Your gaze met his, making him look at the floor. It wouldn't be the first time that you had someone be interested in you whilst you worked. Of course you would ignore it unless things got out of hand, only then would you call security over.

The boy approached, making you shrug into yourself. You hated causing a scene but if it came down to it you were prepared to keep yourself safe, no way in hell were you going to die in a boring ass museum.

"Excuse me? I think you should call the art loss register because you just stole my heart."

What made you laugh wasn't the awful pickup line, it was the obviously fake confidence he had. His ears were flushed pink and he was fidgeting with his hands. Usually it was jocks who were accompanied with other buff guys who'd come by to hit on the staff, not some anxious college kid.

"I don't think that classifies as art, just an organ."

You replied, smiling at him. He grinned back, asking about the art you were standing by instead of another pickup line. You shrugged, your own cheeks flushing as you admitted that you didn't know much about art, that you had just applied here because your friend had.

He laughed, agreeing that he wasn't much of an art guy either, he was just here to say that he had completed a dare his friends had tasked him with. The conversation came to a close as the two of you got interrupted by an elderly woman complaining of a group of teens taking pictures of a statues privates. Assuring her that you would ask them to stop, she left huffing and mumbling about the youth these days. As you went to say goodbye to the male you had been talking to for the past half hour, he smiled,

"I may not be Yves Klein, but I’d be pretty blue if I didn’t get your phone number."

You cackled, agreeing that it'd be pretty awful if he turned blue. So you added your number to his phone. Something that you usually wouldn't do, but something was yelling at you to do so. So you did, smiling as you waved him goodbye.

Who knew that the best part of your day would be flirting with a cute stranger?

--

When you had gotten home you had expected Yugyeom to be there, not with Jeongguk and two others in tow but that's what you saw.

"Why are the four of you here, actually better question, who are you?"

You removed your jacket, throwing it with the other jackets laid in a slump, forgotten and probably smelled foul.

"Well, I'm Yugyeom and I live here."

The brunette introduced himself, laughing as you glared at him. Being childhood friends, you think you'd be used to the shit he pulled. You were but it was easier to ignore him, sadly you couldn't when the boys he was with carried on the introductions.

"I'm Jeongguk, Twenty one and I never learned how to fucking read."

You flipped off the black haired male, making the two males that you actually knew cackle at your pain. You help get them together and this is how they repay you? A perfect pair of bastards.

"Great, now that you two are done, who the fuck are you?" You asked the two males who were awkwardly sat on the couch next to each other, seeming like they wanted to be anywhere else but here. You couldn't blame them, who knew how long they'd had to deal with those assholes.

"Actually, I'm not done. I'm Yug-"

"If it wasn't for the laws of this land I would have slaughtered you."

You sat on Yugyeom, causing his boyfriend to yell at you as you stuck your tongue out at him. There was barely enough space on the couch for two people, you wouldn't question how in hell they fit themselves on the couch.

"I'm Seokmin, this is Mingyu. If you want we can leave, I don't want any trouble."

His eyes shifted around, trying to read the situation. His friend seemed oblivious to Seokmin's worry as he began to explain how they met.

"We were bowling because I had coupons that expired today and Hao couldn't go so I bribed Seokmin to come instead. But when we got there we saw Jeongguk getting kicked out of the bowling alley. They didn't let us in since they thought we were friends with them."

Mingyu spilled, causing Yugyeom and Jeongguk to grin sheepishly. You laughed, shaking your head at the situation. Sure, you had said that in passing during your earlier conversation but you hadn't expected it to come true.

"You guys are a mess, first the Mcdonalds, now the bowling alley? What's next, Chuck E Cheese?"

You teased them, getting off of Yugyeom and heading to the kitchen. The conversation continued as they realized you weren't going to kick them out. Your phone buzzed, startling you as you were shutting the fridge.

Not Yves Klein Hope you made it home safe!

It was a simple text yet it made your heart flutter, you felt your cheeks flush. You were glad you had left the living room. The boys would tease you for anything, especially if it was about a budding crush.

Piece of art I did! Hope you did too

You weren't know for your texting skills, in fact you were known to be the second worst, right after Jeongguk, and that's only because he doesn't text back.

There had been nothing good to eat so you called out, asking if they were down to split the cost of pizza. They were, even with Jeongguk whining that he had a total of seven cents on him. So you ordered, asking for two pies.

Right after you placed your order, your phone buzzed again, sending the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy.

Not Yves Klein safe and sound

Underneath his first text was a bubble with three dots, signaling that he was writing another text. Your head ran with ideas. Should you lock your phone so you didn't look like you were waiting? Or should you respond with something witty?

Before you had made up your mind, your phone buzzed again.

Not Yves Klein Are you free next week? Maybe Thursday?

You screamed, throwing your phone at the wall. Jeongguk ran into the kitchen holding a lamp, screaming as well.

"What's going on?"

Yugyeom asked following his boyfriend into the kitchen. You stared at your phone in shock, walking over and picking it up. It wasn't cracked thankfully. Your fingers danced across the screen quickly, almost as fast as your heart beat.

Piece of art I am! I have classes during the day though, no work luckily

"Did you scream at your phone, wuss?"

Jeongguk teased, ignoring the fact that he had also been screaming. Yugyeom rolled his eyes, walking out shaking his head and muttering about how everyone around was a bigger idiot then he was, which at least he admitted he too was an idiot.

"Shut up, asshole. I've got a date."

You grinned, amusing yourself as you waited to get a text back from the cute boy with bad pick up lines.

"With which hand?"

Jeongguk cackled as you threw an oven mitt at him, he easily caught it, being on the baseball team and whatever. You liked to ignore your friends clubs especially when it led to the reminder of seeing Yugyeom and Jeongguk in a compromising position, whilst in their sport attire. No thank you, you were not down for that life style.

Not Yves Klein Cool! There's a chill bowling place not too far from campus we could go to

You laughed, making Jeongguk raise an eyebrow at you while chugging juice out of the container, something you hated. So you threw the other oven mitt.

The apartment was filled the screams of a now orange juice covered college student.

--

It had been a few months since you had met BamBam, a couple since the of you decided to be a thing. That meant gross PDA and fighting the other couple in your apartment to see who could be the grossest.

They usually won.

It was fun to have laidback double dates though, where the four of you would watch awful movies just to make fun of it, or have nerf gun fights and have dramatic monologues when you died.

Today had been one of those nights, where the four of you watched a movie, squished on the couch and eating an unhealthy amount of popcorn until one by one drifted to sleep. The movie still playing in the background, none could be bothered to pause it or turn it off.

You were between Bam and Jeongguk, both cuddlers. You preferred to have enough space to breath while sleeping but that wasn't an option as you were pinned between the two.

The sun rose and bodies became even more twisted in each other. Looking more like vines then limbs. It wasn't until Yugyeom's alarm rang that everyone had to untangle themselves from the roots of limbs.

"Fuck."

Yugyeom rolled off of the couch grabbing his bag and rushing out the door, leaving you confused. It was Sunday, wasn't it?

Pulling out your phone that was on twenty percent, you realized that it wasn't Sunday, It was a Monday morning and you had less then five minutes to get to class.

Falling off the couch with less grace then the male who had done the stunt minutes earlier, you grabbed your backpack and hurriedly put on your shoes.

"It's Monday, Fuckers! Get up or be late!"

And with that, you too ran out of the apartment. Hoping to make it before the bell rang, your first class of the day was taught by an old ass of a woman, she went off on tangents and allowed three absences before your grades would fail.

You were known to be late, miss classes quite often. You'd have reason, but it was often difficult to explain that you were late because your mother had forgotten where you lived and was in the bad part of the city and you had to get her.

So you already had three absences, you couldn't afford another one. You were barely passing as it was.

You made it inside of the building, ignoring the burning inside of your lungs. There were other students running as well, looking similar with sleepy eyes and messed up hair.

You just made it into the class as the bell rung, quickly sitting in your seat while the teacher took attendance. Attempting to fix your hair while other students called out to say that they had also made it to class.

"Y/N?"

"Here."

You said a little too loudly, sheepishly smiling as she glared. Class had begun, you had made it. Another week of torture had started.

-

Classes went by and at lunch you met up with your group that had grown with the addition of BamBam.

Minghao and Mingyu, Seokmin and Soonyoung, the group known as the campus couples group now. It was really because half had been banned at the bowling place and couldn't go there anymore. Minghao had been annoyed at Mingyu, Soonyoung thought it was hilarious. 

All eight of you were sat on the grass, eating food that you had acquired from the vending machine. You were munching on a bag of off brand cheetos, they tasted weird but you were hungry.

"I mean, Gyeom and I probably aren't soulmates but I love him anyway."

Jeongguk shrugged, rubbing his thumb across Yugyeom's knuckles. The two had been together for a while, they had gone through so much and knew that they would one day find their soulmates.

"But what if your soulmate is super hot and likes both of you?"

Mingyu asked, the whole not knowing your soulmate thing was so foreign to him. He had met Minghao when the two were five. The two had met once the Chinese boy returned a dinosaur that someone had stolen from Mingyu, only for color to flood their vision.

"Likes both of us? Who would have such bad taste?"

Yugyeom cackled, Jeongguk punching him with his free hand.

"We'll see. I'm happy with this oversized dork, so they can find someone else."

Yugyeom cooed at his boyfriend, pressing a kiss on his forehead.

"What about you, Y/N?"

You shrugged, putting another fake cheeto in your mouth.

"I've got the first lie they say on my wrist, or that's what doctors say at least."

There were many reasons that someone would have words inked on their flesh, the first words their soulmate would say, the last words, first lie. The list went on. In a world where soulmates were normal, platonic or romantic, it was difficult to understand what meant what.

"That sounds hard."

Soonyoung said, his own fingers rubbing across the nearly invisible words on his wrist. He had met Seokmin in their highschool years over the internet. The first words Seokmin had said were "God, you do look like a hamster."

Seokmin's own wrist was inked with "Well, at least i'm not wearing crocs." The two had been shocked at seeing their internet friend and finding their soulmate.

BamBam had been very quiet the whole discussion, which was surprising as he was usually just as talkative as everyone else.

You looked at him, sending him a questioning glance. Your eyes met his, him avoiding yours.

"I've gotta go."

The seven of you were shocked to see him grab hid bag and rush away, Soonyoung looked at you, asking if he had something wrong.

"I don't know."

You shrugged, no longer feeling hungry. Wiping the cheese residue on your pants, you pulled out your phone to text him.

Piece of art Are you alright???

The conversation died down, everyone eating silently and waving good bye as they walked to their next class. You only had morning classes so you were free, leaving alone with a mind full of worries.

You knew some people didn't like speaking about soulmates, some felt this anger towards their soulmate, because who had decided that this was their person to be around?

Maybe Bambam had felt that way, maybe he didn't have a soulmate.

--

It had been five days since you last saw Bambam, since he'd run away. You were annoyed and worried at this point. If someone had said something, he should have said something. Everyone was an adult.

After classes, you decided you were going to his apartment. You had made sure that he'd be there, texting his roommates. Jackson had replied with a thumbs up and Mark had replied with a singular yes.

So here you were, knocking on the door and waiting to see your boyfriend. The door opened, Bambam standing in a pair of boxers and an over sized t-shirt. He sighed, letting you in.

The apartment was a mess, but it had been the same way the other times you had come.

"What the fuck is going on, Bam?"

You asked, not sitting down. You wanted answers first, why he'd walked away, why he hadn't been responding.

"It doesn't matter."

BamBam said, not even facing you, putting away dishes in the correct spot. You were infuriated, how could he say it didn't matter? Of course it did.

"Maybe not to you, but it matters to me. So, what the fuck?"

Your voice held more anger then you wanted it too, but you were trying to stop yourself from this becoming a big thing. You didn't want to break up, you didn't want to put yourself in the same box you had years ago when you fought just like today.

"Shut up! I told you it doesn't matter! Can't you just leave it alone?"

A mug broke under his grasp, much like your patience. You could understand if it was about soulmates but this seemed like it was nothing besides anger.

"No! I can't just leave, I'm an adult unlike you! I talk about the things i'm going through! Do you even love me?"

Tears filled your eyes and you tried your best not to let them fall, you would be strong. You would not let him hurt you, even if that's what he wanted.

"No."

A single word, a word you had known since birth, how ironic that it was always that word that made you break. You ignored the pain you felt, the love you had built and you let ugly words spill from your lips.

"I hate you."

You were gone, you let your feet carry you away from the apartment. Tears falling, fists clenched and running. You were never one with your emotions, it always felt like someone else was in your body, that you were a puppet being controlled by some heartless creature. Had you not suffered enough already?

You were hurt.

--

It was only when you stumbled back to you apartment that you realized the black ink under your skin on your wrist was no longer there, that it had become the ink that you saw on others wrists. The one that let you know that you'd met your soulmate.

Not for the first time you cursed the world, that your soulmate would be through a fight, a lie. It had hurt to know that he was lying, that he did love you, nothing had been fixed by knowing he was you soulmate.

"Oh, Y/N."

Yugyeom sighed, holding you as you cried. Jeongguk watched from the couch, his fingers clutched on a pillow. You sobbed and sobbed until you could no longer fill the pain, becoming numb.

"What happened?"

You had been moved to the couch somehow, a faint memory telling you that Jeongguk carried you to the couch.

"He's my soulmate."

You said, focused on the floor where you two shared your first kiss. It had been another one of those double dates where the others fell asleep first. Soft lips pressed to yours that made you feel like you were in a dream.

"I'm so sorry, baby."

Jeongguk pet your head, letting it fall on his shoulder as your shoulder shook. There were no more tears to cry, but you were still so angry.

So the three of you sat on the couch that was much too small, and they cried for you, comforting you in not being the only one saddened by the nights events.

--

Days had passed, you couldn't say what you had done for those days. Everything had blurred together at some point, you weren't sure when you had eaten last. There was just the knowledge that tomorrow was another day you'd have to live through.

The bus carried you to your job, now just a Wednesday you worked. You stuffed you belongings away, changing slowly. You dreaded going out there, but even when you didn't want to be alive you had to pay rent.

The museum was as busy as it had been last time, college students snapchatting the sculptures parts, elders walking around without much care of the art, only coming because it was the only social contact they had.

It was always the same, you didn't mind as you daydreamed. Getting away from your life as you stood in front of a painting called "regarde les étoiles dans les rêves de quelqu'un" A mouthful really, something you'd butcher if someone asked about it.

Footsteps told you someone was approaching, and you were shaken from your daydream.

"What do you think about this painting?"

A familiar voice made you go through so many emotions at once, anger, sadness, fear. There was want in you as well, you wanted things to go back to how they had been. Of course it couldn't.

"I think it's beautiful."

It was beautuiful. Unlike the other art hung up with vibrant colors, this one was simple. It had two shadows of people, seeming like they were sleeping while star gazing, the stars on one half brighter than the others.

It had always been your favorite here.

"Why?"

You sighed, unsure of what he wanted, of what he was trying to do. "Because it's someone seeing something they created, maybe a take on the grass is greener. But I think it's about them seeing both, the good and the bad together."

He nodded, the two of you standing in the silence. It wasn't strange, but it made you hope for more, that he'd come to apologize and everything would be fine.

It wasn't.

"I'm sorry."

But one day it could be.

[thesinglesjukebox]

SELENA GOMEZ - LOSE YOU TO LOVE ME

[6.17]

We like it like a lose song, maybe...

Alex Clifton: I'm fascinated by songs where singers air their grievances and fans all know which specific people they are calling out. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with Taylor Swift's music way back in the day; I love a good gossip. Over the past eight years, I've worried about Selena with relation to Justin Bieber constantly. Not my relationship, I know, but he seemed like an immature asswipe when Selena could do much better. She's avoided discussing Bieber in much of her previous music. Even the songs that were definitely about him ("Love Will Remember," "The Heart Wants What It Wants") were written in abstract terms so you'd only really know the subject if you spent time following the Selena/Justin drama. Cut to "Lose You to Love Me," where she goes for the kill: "in two months you replaced us," a clear reference to Justin suddenly moving onto his now-wife Hailey. Such a vulnerable and specific track is a strong statement from Selena, who in the past two years has stayed relatively out of the public eye and is now ready to share parts of her story. There's no red scarf here, not that level of minutiae, but frankly she doesn't need it when much of her toxic and turbulent relationship with Bieber played out in the tabloids. And god it's so cathartic. It's an acknowledgement of hurt and anger but a phoenix move for Selena; she's rising from the debris stronger than before, and she wants you to know it. I'm so pleased for her. In the immortal words of her friend Taylor, "she lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything." [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: A decade into her career as one of the world's most popular artists, it's worth noting that Selena Gomez's ascent to fame was improbable. She didn't have the most powerful voice, dance skills, or even a number one hit -- but especially early in her career, she was able to leverage her very public personal life to fuel interest in her music: a Disney fan base, a feud with Demi Lovato which the media loved to cover, membership in Taylor Swift's entourage, and, of course, most significantly, an infamous on-and-off-again relationship. But over the past four years, Selena has developed an effective signature vocal style -- hushed, controlled whispers which burst into moments of pop brilliance -- which makes it clear that her music is more than capable of standing on her own. So it's all the more frustrating then, that after seeing how stellar her music can be removed from celebrity context, that the first song we get off her long awaited third solo album is yet another song about Justin Bieber. But while I initially rejected "Lose You to Love Me" as a regression into formulaic pop balladry, there's a surprising amount of depth. The song sounds like genuine healing, coming from an artist singing her truth. Her voice is soft but powerful, emotive but not overwrought, reflective but not nostalgic. A line like "now the chapter is closed and done" could land cliché and hollow, but Selena sings it like someone who finally took a breath of fresh air for the first time in years. This is all to say: if we have to listen to this one last song about Justin Bieber, at least it's the first genuinely compelling one, and a step in seeing her evolution as an artist and celebrity. [7]

Leah Isobel: When Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake broke up, he got to project his messy breakup feelings outward; he produced imagery about spying on her doppelganger and fantasizing about her death. But for Selena -- Timberlake's 2010s tabloid counterpart -- unrepentant sleaze is a much riskier proposition, at least on the charts. Instead, she sublimates her anger, returning to the baby-voiced Julia Michaels wheelhouse. The mass of vocal effects on the chorus is surprisingly effective, but for an artist who was briefly one of the more progressive voices on Top 40 radio, this defanged "Everytime" is a little disappointing. [4]

Katherine St Asaph: Piano ballads are to music what Joseph Campbell is to narratives. Not a song but a beat on a storyboard -- barely a storyboard, even, but tabloid kerfuffle. [1]

Michael Hong: Selena Gomez's career has long mirrored Demi Lovato's, from child acting stints on Barney & Friends to the release of their fifth studio albums within a week of each other in 2015. Here she goes for something similar to Lovato's "Sober," released last year as a sort of song-as-a-statement -- though Gomez's statement is more uplifting than heartbreaking. "Sober" was a rare instance where Lovato never pushed her voice too far, with its statement made more effective by the events that followed; her confession came across as authentically personal as it unfolded in real-time. "Lose You to Love Me," like "Sober," is stripped down to its bare bones for a more intimate feeling, but here, it's questionable whether the quiet dynamic is one of Gomez's stylistic choices or a symptom of her limited vocal range. There are interesting touches, like the echo-chamber effect on her voice for the line "in two months, you replaced us," which makes the following lines about being broken all the more devastating. But there are also moments like the choir vocals on the final chorus that are predictably overwrought. While "Lose You to Love Me" is a delicately gorgeous and uplifting track, its statement is diminished by how tiresome the Gomez-Bieber narrative feels. We're no longer watching her relationship end in the present, but instead seeing Selena Gomez finally claim closure on a relationship that has long since run its course (at least in the public eye). More interesting is the single released the following day, which features the offbeat personality she's carved out for herself over the past few years and is equally effective at demonstrating that Selena Gomez has moved on. [6]

Alfred Soto: In a tradition of self-reflexive love songs, she tells us she'll sing the chorus off-key (it sounds okay to me). Maybe this line represents one of Selena Gomez's contributions. If I see Julia Michaels, I think of phony uplift, of which the chorus has hints. Then Gomez counters with a slightly hoarse, un-melodramatic dropping of the line, "You promised the world and I fell for it. A performance with grandness in its bones, and it almost succeeds. [6]

Stephen Eisermann: I'm a sucker for big, cathartic choruses, but the verses really let me down here. Between Selena's weird vocal, the melodramatic strings, and the unintentionally funny lyrics (I'm not convinced that the whole singing off-key line isn't a bit that she's delivering with a wink), it's really hard to take the track seriously. But when that big booming chorus hits, backing vocals and all, you can almost feel Selena letting go of everything Bieber did to her. And that, that's lovely. It's also why the other track released after this is so much better. [5]

Joshua Copperman: A song that's perfectly in tune with 2019-type sad music yet unafraid to be huge. It doesn't have the stakes of "Praying" or the bounce of "It Ain't Me," but that's not a problem. The gang vocals that plagued so much of mid-to-late 2010s pop -- including Selena Gomez's own music -- blossom into a full choir, beautifully contrasting with her usual hushiness. It should be Real Music-y --even the lyrics are less playful and twee than Michaels and Tranter usually go, barring the "killing me softly" shoehorn and obvious title -- but because of how thin Gomez's voice sounds, it's not. (The most Michaels-y touch is the backing vocals going "to love, to love" instead of "to love me, love me" like I'd thought, as in "I needed to lose you to love again at all.") The pop most beloved non-mainstream artists are producing is proudly campy, and that's great! Gomez seems to be headed in that direction too with "Look at Her Now," but this unexpected pivot to pathos inexplicably works thanks to the strategic arrangement and lyricism. [9]

Kayla Beardslee: It's fascinatingly difficult to determine where Julia Michaels' style ends and Selena Gomez's begins, and the whispered melodies and "Issues" violins here don't help. Although Gomez's voice can sometimes be aggressively pleasant, she digs in enough to communicate real emotion here, and the choir backing vocals are surprisingly powerful. The song makes a poignant, if heavy-handed, statement about maturing and finding your identity, amplified by this being her comeback single: Ariana has "thank u, next," Miley has "Slide Away," and now Selena has "Lose You to Love Me." [7]

Jackie Powell: While Julia Michaels has commented that Selena Gomez is indeed a songwriter, I still don't believe that's the proper term to describe her contributions to music. Gomez is a storyteller first and foremost. That's the term: storyteller. Sometimes those can be interpreted as synonymous or givens of each other, but let's remember that Gomez has been telling stories since she was seven years old. Her art is most successful when she's in control of her narrative and knows exactly what story she's about to tell. When she has the opportunity to perform her stories, she goes all out and sells it exactly as someone who's been on stage since childhood can. That may sound like something Ariana Grande has done in the past year or so with "thank u, next," since both "Lose You to Love Me" and that highlight some of the most dramatic breakups in pop culture. But as Tatiana Cirisano pointed out for Billboard, Gomez's approach is the contrapositive to Grande's. Both cuts are relatable and have a commitment to empowerment and autonomy, but Gomez makes her track a moment without a teen movie pastiche. Her choice to emphasize and crescendo on the lyrics "In two months you replaced us" and "Made me think I deserved it" speak loudly. This track is all about its dynamics in its minimalistic glory. Imagine Gomez was performing a monologue. That's the type of choice a storyteller makes. Justin Tranter and Michaels provide the melody and the nuts and bolts, but the concept is clearly all Gomez. The backing vocals in each chorus from Tranter and Michaels are symbolic of what they've meant to Gomez over the years. They've been by her side every step of the way and have lifted her up. That's beautiful. What's also beautiful is if I ever wanted to learn more about Justin Bieber, the lyrics "Sang off-key in my chorus / 'Cause it wasn't yours" tell me all I need to know. [8]

Josh Buck: The Selena Gomez x Julia Michaels joints never miss. [6]

Abdullah Siddiqui: Selena Gomez's discography in the last four years has largely consisted of stylistic meandering and incomplete ideas. She hasn't quite been able to settle on a sound or a narrative. This feels like she's starting from scratch. It's a pretty solid place to start. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[preyed-llama]

an interesting night

Genre: hurt/comfort

Ship: Logince

Summary: Roman’s forced to go to a party to clear up a mess, although how could things go as planned. 

Warnings: homophobia, alcohol, drugs mentioned, sex mentioned, swearing. (Let me know if I’ve missed anything.)

The bass shook the foundations of the house as Roman rocked back and forth on the dancefloor. A girl from his drama group was moving around in time with the music doing some dorky dancing. Roman would’ve started doing silly dancing too if he didn’t feel others’ eyes on him. Of course, they were on him. They were watching for him to mess up. The only reason he was at this stupid party rather than staying at home with his precious Disney movies and a nice cup of green tea, is someone had let it slip that he was gay. Now this wouldn’t be a problem, if the school wasn’t so homophobic. A month ago they had thrown a guy out of the locker room because a rumour was spread that he was into guys.

It had made his blood boil when he found out about it, but now he was just trying to stay undercover. The closet was safe after all. The girls arm wrapped around his waist as she pressed sloppy kisses to his neck. It wasn’t the best situation to be in. He glanced around for a second before he looked down at the poor, drunk girl and excused himself.

The kitchen wasn’t too busy, it certainly wasn’t as busy as the loungeroom, you couldn’t move without someone touching you in some way, and most of the time it wasn’t intentional. The lights were also steady, rather than the flashing colours they had chosen for the loungeroom that was giving him a major headache. Outside of the glass door he could see another large group of people in the pool and sitting on the seats. Most looked too drunk to be responsible out there, but that was a problem for a different person who wasn’t currently drinking their problems away because the constant fear of rejecting was strong enough to drown him.

He shook those thoughts from his head and looked over the options. Beers and shitty mixes sat around the table. His eyes landed on the cruisers, they are overly sweet and taste just like soda, so maybe not. But the beers were excruciatingly dry. If he grabbed a cruiser though, would he seem more gay? Surely that would fuel the rumour. Beer tasted disgusting though, he always struggled to get drunk off it because it felt like it was stuck in his throat. He’d need a lot more alcohol before he’d grab a beer.

Jack Daniels sat untouched in the corner. Jake’s house totally had some cola in the back fridge. He’d seen it when he was over a few weeks ago for a game marathon. Jake was chill, he didn’t worry too much about rumours and he’d been friends with Roman for years, although they’d both got very different interests. He hadn’t told Jake he was gay, so he couldn’t even get his help.

Fetching the Coca-Cola from the back fridge was certainly an adventure. He was hit on by numerous girls, most of which didn’t look like they could even stand, and he was offered some… unnameable substance that he turned down rather quickly.

Back in the kitchen he made a Jack and coke, that was manly enough, right? Surely no one would notice. He downed a mouthful and winced, there was a reason he preferred green tea to alcohol, maybe he should’ve settled for a cruiser.

He shook that thought from his head, he was here to prove he wasn’t gay, so he couldn’t go and give up on his reputation. The hallway was quiet enough, a rather attractive man stood in the corner on his phone. Who was Roman kidding, he was gorgeous. His perfectly combed pitch-black hair made Roman’s heart stutter. It looked like he had dark blue eyes, although those were hidden behind blocky glasses. He was looking quite dressy, a black button up and some dark blue jeans, it was a sharp contrast to all the tank tops and muscle tops Roman had seen over the course of the night.

His eyes dropped down to the jack and coke in his hands before he glanced around the hallway, no one else seemed to be around.

The other teen looked up as he approached. He was clutching a lemonade cruiser in one hand and his phone in another, he seemed to have his phone open to messages. Roman gazed at the cruiser enviously. He doesn’t have to hide, does he? The spotlight isn’t trying to melt away his façade, to uncover every bump and secret hidden inside, and yet Roman has to give up things just so the spotlight can’t catch them, rude.

“Can I help you?” His voice was like honey and caramel. It was so sweet and so perfect that Roman couldn’t help the blush that spread on his cheeks. He quickly took a sip of his drink to try and shake off the nerves, perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. He was meant to be proving how straight he was, but with such an angel in front of him, he wasn’t even sure how he could ever pretend to be straight.

Although, there was no one around, and the hallway wasn’t the lightest place in the house, a small conversation couldn’t be too bad. “Not particularly.” Roman hoped he was coming off as a flirty nonchalant and not regular weird. “What’re you doing standing all the way back here? The party’s in the loungeroom.”

“Yeah, well, unfortunately, that’s were everyone else is too.” Roman tried to calm his hammering heart, so what if this man is an introvert and his phone lit up with a notification revealing his sherlock background that clearly means he’s dorky as well, that’s hardly something to get excited over, after all, he’s straight.

He couldn’t stop the laugh that erupted. “You do have a point, my dear Nerd. It’s where all the obnoxious, judgemental people are, pretending to be something they’re not.” He tried to hide the wince when his own words struck home, maybe alcohol was a bad idea. Or maybe just leaving the house in the first place was a bad idea.

“So why aren’t you there?” The other teen shot back, his gaze was back on his phone as he continued to type to someone.

Roman’s impulsiveness got the best of him, before he could stop himself, the words were already falling from his mouth. “Because I’m not some judgemental, homophobic asshat that won’t even let others be happy.” He covered his mouth and looked down at his drink. This certainly wasn’t the first drink he’d had that night, and sure he was drunk and naturally incredibly impulsive, it’s how the original person found out he was gay, but it still made his stomach churn. It wasn’t okay, he didn’t know where the nerd stood with things. Was he homophobic? Would he be outed? Was it the end?

He hadn’t realised he was freaking out until he heard glass shatter against the floor. The nerd was saying something, he couldn’t hear anything over his own breathing, heartbeat, and the ringing of the shattered glass. Oh god he never should’ve come.

“Breathe for me. Come on. In four 4.” Roman shakily tried to follow the instructions. His breath kept hitching as his thoughts flew too quickly to gather. “Good, good. Hold for seven.” Roman could hear the music and the teen’s voice, the other sounds were slowly being drowned out. “Out for eight.”

He followed along several more times until he was calm enough to move. “Can I touch you?” the nerd asked. He nodded mutely. A soft hand landed on the small of his back as another one held his hand. He was led further into the house. There was one room that wasn’t being used…  for one purpose or another.

The moment the door closed the world felt calmer. The loud music and shouts were muffled behind the light grey walls. The nerd’s hand was still on his arm as the other one moved back to his back. “It’s okay. Keep breathing.” Roman tried to stop a shiver from rolling around his spine. This was certainly not how he wanted the party to go. People would be suspicious of him going into a room with another guy, and the nerd was touching him. Oh god this was really not helping the rumour.

He shrugged off the nerd’s hands and leaned against the wall breathing heavily. The thoughts continued to swim through his head at he let his eyes fall closed. Everything hurt. He should’ve stayed home. The rumour would’ve settled down eventually.

The nerd’s voice gently pulled him from his thoughts. “Greetings, Roman Prince, right?” Roman looked up at the nerd and furrowed his brows. “I’m Logan Sanders, Virgil works in the tech crew for your performance.” The name seemed familiar. He nodded his head and breathed out a laugh.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Logan Sanders.” Roman held out his hand, which Logan shook firmly. Roman would’ve blushed if this was any other situation. They dropped each other’s hands and looked around the room. It was a study, bookshelves lined the walls and a desk sat in the centre. Someone was at least smart enough to hide anything precious before the party had started.

The music continued to drift into the room. It felt nice. Dream-like.

Logan cleared his throat and sat down properly, his legs crossed as he sat to the left of Roman’s outstretched legs. “May I inquire as to what caused the panic attack?” Logan asked softly. Roman blinked a few times and hesitated. Would it be safe to tell him?

Oh, screw it.

“A rumour’s going around that I’m gay.” Logan didn’t seem too impressed. His eyes looked disappointed as his mouth was etched into a frown. Once he started to speak he couldn’t stop. “The last person who was called gay was assaulted and harassed. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I don’t want to be rejected for a part of me.” Roman knew he was crying. He could taste the salt from his tears in his mouth.

A hand rested on his. He looked up at Logan to see fire burning in his eyes. “Well that’s ludicrous. What does it matter if you’re a homosexual or not. Am I wrong for being homosexual? Of course not. So why would you be?” Logan seemed to be staring through Roman rather than at. He was just talking, as if it’s a conversation he’s had with himself many times. Roman’s heat clenched as he rolled his hand over to give Logan’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“It’s fine.” Roman muttered. Logan rolled his eyes and muttered a quiet. ‘no, it’s not.’ The silence felt uncomfortable as Roman glanced around the room for anything to talk about. Although it was uncomfortable, neither made a move to leave. It felt like the room was safety. Away from lies and fears.

Roman let out a sigh and spotted Logan’s phone light up again. “So what’s a nerd like you doing at a party like this?”

Logan seemed to smile slightly as he rolled his eyes. “I was here to support a friend. Although he bailed rather quickly. What about you?”

Roman laughed. “Wow, first of all, rude. Second of all, here to clean up the rumour, although I don’t think that went down too well.” Logan nodded. The conversation felt more comfortable as Logan’s phone continued to go off, he never picked it up or looked at it. His gaze was at the room.

“So you like Sherlock Holmes?” Roman asked to break the silence. Logan glanced over at Roman, his eyes were alight with joy as his posture relaxed completely. He only had a few seconds until Logan launched into a long rant about how incredible Sherlock Holmes was. It seemed adorable how Logan gestured with his hands as his face lit up with emotion.

Roman felt his heart hammer in his chest as a blush grew. Logan glanced over at him after several moments and dropped his gaze. “Uh, I apologise for going off on a tangent.”

“No need to apologise, it was adorable.” Roman said absentmindedly. “So have you read the novels?” Logan immediately started to talk about the differences between the books, the movies, and the tv series. Roman felt mesmerised. How did someone manage to look so perfect? How was he so confident? Logan was blushing just the slightest as he continued to ramble on.

The conversation flowed for the remainder of the party as they talked about various shows they were interested in. Roman didn’t seem to need alcohol to forget his problems. Although he was glad he was drunk enough to get himself into this situation in the first place. During some point in the conversation, Logan leaned on the wall next to Roman.

Sirens blared through the music startling Roman from their moment. So the party seemed to have been broken up, which meant it was probably their time to bounce. Logan walked over to the window facing the backyard and opened it. The pair quickly left the house and moved over to the fence. Roman pulled himself over it and helped Logan up.

Laughter broke between them as they casually made their way down the street. “Can I borrow your phone for a minute?” Roman asked. Logan hesitated for a moment before he handed it over. Roman quickly typed in his phone number and handed it back. “Well I best be off, it was incredible to meet you dear Logan. Message me.”

Roman walked in the opposite direction towards his house. He could see people be pulled out as he walked passed casually. A few people glared at him or tried to call out to him, but he just kept walking. His house was only thirty minutes away on foot, so he didn’t bother to contact anyone. He received a message from an unknown number half way home. He smiled down at his phone.

[jorjathomas]

Contextual research

I felt as though it would be best if I tried to gather as much information about my intended target audience as I can in order to validify the need for my zine. So, I decided to do some secondary research and create a survey to see if people agree with what I’d like to project onto women. At first, I was going to do an in depth interview with some selected girls I knew. These women all had different lifestyles and upbringing so I thought it would be interesting to see if their core values or opinions varied between each person however when deciding this, I didn't think my answers would be as accurate. This is because I would've been picking and choosing people id like to respond so I think it would’ve been harder to achieve contrasting results, doing this would've been a easy way out to see if my brand would be successful but these results wouldn't be in depth as most answers are likely to be the same.

Instead, I decided that I would create a couple of different secondary research resources rather than one complex one so I am able to get the best results as I can. Firstly, I started with a google survey which was for women only. I created this by adding all the girls I follow on social media into a group and asked them to complete the survey. I had asked around 200 people which I had met online and physically from different areas of life. I contemplated whether to make this questionnaire available to everyone however, I assumed that i wouldnt recieve as many responses from a male in comparison to a female as these questions are stereotypically more feminine. I know this is wrong of me to think this way as I would like this zine to be welcoming to men who aren't afraid of expressing themselves or even to learn about feminism. The zine is going to be designed to help and seek comfort rather than discriminate as well as target everyone so I may do a separate questionnaire for men with similar questions suitable for them and how they act in society and then compare the two. Below is the results of my first survey 24 hours after the story was posted.

I accidently added in a option for the question above where the participants were able to type in their own responses which is why the pie chart is slightly unresponsive to analyse but nevertheless it was interesting to read their own personal responses. Majority of the results were the same and 59.7% said that they had chosen what they wanted to do within education. The additional comments are fairly similar in which they said that they were able to choose whatever they wanted however they had to work hard and to the best of their ability. 

This was an very important question for this project because this was a catalyst subject for the zine. I pre-assumed that not many people were as knowledged about the matter as there is a lot of assumptions about feminism. These results has urged me to carry on with my idea as I can see my audience would be interested to know more.

This question was also important because of my intentions of providing help and care for women in the current lifestyle. I was actually fairly shocked about these results as I thought a lot of people, including me, look after themselves and give themselves days of rest however, this was not the case in this survey. I think this has enabled me to start thinking of content or articles to create that could help people take time to rest for themselves. I may scatter small tips across the pages so women could start making small habits to do this for their wellbeing. I began to wonder how their well being was like if they were working often, do they enjoy it? Are they burned out? Are they living in the present? It was fascinating to see these results.

I think this was the most compelling answer so far as I honestly thought people had more of an understanding of the depths within self love and care. Although all of these activities I wrote for the public choose from are forms of self care, some are more important than others. I want the best for everyone which is why I wanted to create this however I need to be wary that not everyone would be ready to really rest and face certain things. I appreciate that majority do take time for themselves, 37 people said they have a nice bath often in comparison to 9 people who don't do anything. Its a shame google surveys are anomonus because I'm curious about the individuals and would love to ask certain people who may not agree with this question as to why they feel this way so I could get the most understanding out of my desired audience. Despite this, seeing as majority of the votes were actually completing some forms of self -care, can enable me to create content like this and comfort my readers when I eventually create the magazine.

The people who answered this survey ranges between 16-25 which is slightly broader than my intended audience however, I still think that these ages fit my narrative. I know that younger people are most likely spend more time on their phones. Pewresearch.org states that:

“Fully 72% of teens say they often or sometimes check for messages or notifications as soon as they wake up, while roughly four-in-ten say they feel anxious when they do not have their cellphone with them. And 51% of teens say they often or sometimes find their parent or caregiver to be distracted by their own cellphone when they are trying to have a conversation with them.”

I was expectant of these results however when you realise that almost 50% of people could spend 6+ hours on a phone on average is shocking. I hope with the help of aesthetics and visual art I could engage these people to take time off their phone and read the zine they seem interested in. 

The more I analyse these results, the more intrigued I am by the results. This was probably the most effecting result for me. I was saddened by these results and the fact that majority of the 67 people that answered my survey compare themselves to others online and question their own appearance despite me also falling into this habit. Majority of the books with involve self-confidence and other forms of personal development, many of the authors speak on these regards when they've overcome them or experienced some ‘life-changing’ experience that has helped them shift and develop. Although this is very inspiring, I don't have many of these experiences yet especially when it comes to ultimate confidence in life. I believe that maybe this could help my zine become more engaging and personal as i can relate to the readers personal struggles.

Majority of the results from the survey were clear answers shown from the pie chart. In comparison to this question, these results were almost fairly equal towards one another. Based of my own personal life and my uncertainty of what I want to do, I thought a lot of people would be in the same boat as me but this was not the case as exactly 50% of responses said they knew what they want to achieve and are driven towards achieving this goal. I found myself comparing and worrying that I haven't found this goal just yet and 29.4% agree with me. I wanted to make tips and advice to ease this stress from within but I also began to think about how I could engage the 50% despite having their own goals already. I need to think of this as most of the public responded to this answer and I want to gain as many engaging readers as I can.

This was one of the last questions I asked from the women on Instagram before asking for suggestions which I will put into another post. This was one of the easiest analytics from the survey as it helps me pursue this magazine as almost everyone would be interested in seeing this sort of media to read.

To conclude, this survey really aided me to develop this project to the best of my ability. It has really encouraged me to begin to think about my zine and what I want it to look like in order to keep these people engaged after finishing this project. The survey has allowed be to stretch outside my biased boundaries and being to think of some ideas that could help a person in all areas of life despite being similar in age. The next post included the feedback I received from the women in the survey and ideas which they would like to see from the magazine.

[seriestrash]

The Story of Us

PROLOGUE || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 ||

✮ Epilogue ✮

Word Count: 2,348

✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮

10 years later…

It had been ten years since Rhiannon and Jedediah remarried. A union that would sadly only get until Christmas that year but their love would last long after both of them passed. It was only a few short weeks later that the Matthews returned to New York with a few hearts broken in the process.

Although her inevitable return to the city happened it wasn’t the last time Riley would twirl her way through Hillford Creek. A few events over the years would draw the brunette back into town, mostly happy reasons but some brought on by sad circumstances. Despite the reason, good or bad, Riley found it harder each and every time it came for her to leave.

Now, nearly four years since her last visit Riley sits on on a near empty bus. Her gaze fixated out the window, a small smile resting on her face as she admires the scenic drive into town. Her nostalgia building with every mile behind her.

Riley trips on the last step off the bus in her true klutzy fashion. Quickly she steadies herself and has a quiet laugh at the same sorry excuse of a bus stop she first arrived at all those years ago. The brunette inhales deeply, with a smile on her face she walks towards the sign that reads;

‘Welcome to Hillford Creek
, Austin Texas’

There’s no question in Riley’s mind about where she wanted to go first. The moment she reaches the outskirts of the main town Riley veers off in the direction of the old inn. The road now free of overgrown foliage and clearly signed, a contrast to the trees and bushes she’d weave through as a teenager.

Riley walks up to what was once an abandoned inn, now a beautifully repaired home. The last time Riley was here there was a sign out front with a newly placed ‘sold’ sticker. In it’s place now stands a sign that reads ‘Hillford Creek Veterinarian Clinic’. With a soft smile, Riley reflects on something that was once quiet chatter on the floor of a burnt out room, now a beautiful reality.

The city born girls thoughts are interrupted when she’s nearly tackled to the ground by an excited dog. 

“Oh Otis,” Riley pats the dog that has two paws pressed up against her stomach. “You remember me don't you, boy?” Riley sratches the German Shepard as he pants excitedly. 

A quiet giggle escapes her, Riley looks up and around to see where the dog came from, to see if he was there. Then, through the glass of the first story bay window Riley finds him. Lucas. The Texan is already staring out at her, his attention spiked when he heard his dog barking. 

Lucas sits there frozen in place, a mixture of awestruck and sheer shock controls him. Riley too stays in place, her hand continuing to lightly scratch Otis’ neck, a smile creeping wider with every second passing under the gaze of Lucas. Finally the brunette raises a hand giving him a gentle wave. The Texans shocked expression cracks with a smile as he mimics her greeting. 

Lucas stands and heads for the front door, Riley moves too, like a magnetic pull bringing them closer. They meet on the front porch, both at a lost for words. 

“Hi.” Lucas exhales loudly, finally breaking the silence.

“Hey.” Riley giggles nervously. A sound Lucas had missed.

“Do you want to come inside?” Lucas sheepishly motions towards the door. 

Riley gives him a small nod and follows close behind as he leads them in. Now over the threshold Riley lets the duffle bag on her shoulder slip off and hit the floor with a gentle thud. 

“Wow.” Riley says letting her eyes dance around the entrance. Riley finds it difficult to believe that this beautifully renovated building was once the eerily abandoned inn she had visited many times in the past. “This place is... Spectacular.” Riley’s eyes fall back upon Lucas’. 

The Texan just bashfully shrugs a shoulder. 

“Is it finished?” Riley questions. 

“Technically, I guess.” Another dismissive shrug of his shoulder. 

“Technically?” Riley raises a brow. 

“It’s just one of those things, ya know?” Lucas lets out an embarrassed laugh. “You build something up in your head then its hard for it to ever live up to the expectations.” 

“You’re not happy?” Riley frowns. 

“No I am.” Lucas shakes his head. “It’s just not... complete. Not yet.” 

“Did you do everything you planned?” Riley asks. “Clearly you added the clinic,” Riley motions to the front desk, “But you live here too?” 

“Yes Ma'am.” Lucas nods. “Would you like the grand tour?” 

“Absolutely.” Riley beams. “But I wanted to give you something first. A very late house warming gift.” 

Lucas watches as Riley crouches by her duffle bag. She stands again with a framed photo in her hand. “I found it when I packing up a few of my grandmas things.” Riley explains. 

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it to the funeral.” Lucas frowns. 

“Don’t worry you have your hands full with the clinic.” Riley gives him a small smile. “I got your flowers.” The death of Rhiannon was still fresh for Riley and ached to think about too much. 

“May I see?” Lucas holds a hand out for the photo. Riley lets out a laugh realising she's still clutching it to her chest. 

“Of course.” She passes the black frame to Lucas and watches as he inspects the photo. 

“Is this...Is this from the day they all met?” Lucas looks up from the photo with knitted brows and a slight smile. 

Riley nods, taking another look at the photograph that could possibly be pinpointed as to what spurred this unannounced visit, one of the reasons at least. A photo of Jed, Rhiannon, Joe and Mae all standing out front of the inn. Each pair had their individual couple photos that Riley saw during her stay in Hillford as a teenager, this photo was from the same moment, just of them all together. “My grandma had told me that she had more photos from this day but I forgot about that until I went through her things.” 

“There’s more?” Lucas asks. 

“Yes. I found a whole album from her whimsical trip around the country as a young adult.” Riley explains. “I brought a couple with me from her very short stay in Hillford... If you wanted to see them.” 

“Of course I want to see them.” Lucas says genuinely and it makes Riley smile to think that all these years have passed and it can still feel like they're two excited teenagers uncovering their intertwined pasts. “How about I show you around the place and then we can sit down, look at the photos and catch up?” 

Riley thinks that sounds wonderful. Lucas starts to give Riley the grand tour. One half of the first story to the left of the stairs is a living and dining area, there’s also a kitchen and main bathroom. To the right of the stairs is the bay window turned little library, they only pass through that to make their way into the clinic section of the home. Riley is amazed at how profession it all looked and she presses Lucas about his business whilst commending his efforts and expressing her wonder in him achieving all he has. Then Riley does something that she hadn't in all the times she visited the inn, she went upstairs. 

Lucas explains how the second story used to consist of six smallish rooms considering it’s a small town and not exactly touristy. Riley finds that he’s renovated to four grand rooms. The main bedroom, Lucas’ room, has an ensuite attachment and there’s also a smaller communal bathroom upstairs too. 

At the end of the hall is the second bay window Lucas had mentioned in the past. One Riley could only see from outside of the building. Riley slowly walks towards it, now leading herself in this tour. Her knees lightly brush the edge of the seat cushion as she gets a good look out the glass. This window overlooks the yard area. Riley didn’t spend much time out the back of the building because of how overgrown the surrounding grass and foliage was but now it’s cleared completely. The old barn that was affected from the fire too has been restored to its full potential. 

All the nostalgia and astonishment building within Riley started to become overwhelming and began to resonate negatively for reasons she couldn’t really explain. 

“Riley, are you alright?” Lucas asks noticing Riley’s deflated mood. 

“Yeah.” Riley says and it feels like a lie. “It’s just- Living in LA these past few years, kinda makes me feel like I’m missing out...” 

Lucas instantly remembers her saying the same thing about coming from New York. “You know, not a lot of people would be disappointed about living in LA.” 

“I’m not a lot of people.” Riley almost snaps but lets out a sigh. “I’m not disappointed, I’m uninspired..” 

“How about we go downstairs?” Lucas nudges his head towards the stairs. 

Riley follows Lucas back down and instinctively Riley goes towards the bay window. Lucas leaves Riley be for a moment whilst he makes his way to the kitchen to fetch them two coffees. 

Now alone Riley takes in her surroundings since they only brushed past this room on the tour. Maybe that was because of the conversations they shared as teens, maybe it was because of the sweet stolen kisses leading up to her departure. Whatever it was, Lucas seemed just as bashful as Riley when they first entered. 

Riley smiles at the bay window seat itself. It had been upgraded again since Lucas first renovated it over ten years ago but still had the same feel it did back then. Riley looks at the shelves of books, this was literally a conversation they had as teenagers come to life. As Riley’s gaze is wandering around the small room she stops when something catches her eye nearly knocking the breath out of her. She steps towards the chest height book shelf but whats captivate her attention is hanging above it. Riley’s eyes remain fixated on the single item framed up on the wall. 

“Oh that.” Lucas laughs nervously as he reentered the room and spotted Riley’s staring. 

“Is that...?” Riley turns to face Lucas, her voice almost a whisper. 

“You told me to keep it forever.” Lucas matches her soft tone. 

Riley turns to take another look at the the item. A single fallen leaf that floated into her lap ten years beforehand, one she passed onto Lucas, now framed and hung in a room that held such dear memories for her. 

Impulsively Riley spins back around and engulfs Lucas in a hug. He’s surprised at first thus making him a little stiff but quickly warms up as he wraps his arms around Riley’s back, still a little awkward as he holds two coffee cups in hand but it still felt nice for them both. 

When the two finally part they sit in the bay window, each with a hot coffee in hand. 

“So what brings you back into town?” Lucas finally asks the question thats been pressing in his mind since he first noticed her through the window. 

“Mabel’s shower is in a few weeks.” Riley sips at her hot beverage. 

“You came three weeks early for that?” Lucas questions. 

“Well that’s not the only reason I came back.” Riley laughs nervously. 

“No?” Lucas asks. 

“My publisher has been pressing me about a new book.” Riley explains.

“I’m not surprised.” Lucas says. “You’ve released two best sellers for them already.” 

Riley smiles that Lucas has kept up to date with her life even though their contact tapered off significantly after they parted ways last time. “I released a sequel to the first book because they asked but making it a trilogy just doesn’t feel right.” 

“You have to stay true to yourself and produce something you’re happy with.” Lucas says. 

“It took me a little while to come to that realisation myself but I did.” Riley says proudly. “Inspiration sparked in unsuspecting time. So I told my publishers that I would write them another book but only one that meant something to me.” 

“They were okay with that?” Lucas questions. 

“They were a bit shocked with my outburst but they were alright with it in the end.” Riley nods. “I tried to write in LA and even though I knew exactly what I wanted to write I was just uninspired where I was, so I told my agency that I wanted some time away to write this book.” 

“So you came here?” Lucas asks. 

“I couldn’t draw inspiration of a tiny town living in LA now could I?” Riley asks coyly. 

“I’m intruiged.” Lucas matches her playfull demeanour. “Do I get to know more about this story?” 

“There’s three stories actually,” Riley clarifies, “They’re all intwined into one. There’s a love story about about a foreign ballerina and a lowly stable boy.” 

Lucas sucks back a breath but doesn’t interrupt. 

“And another about a man who moves two thousand miles away from home to feel closer to the woman he let go.” Riley continues. “A story of how they met and how they found their way back to each other.” 

“And the third story?” Lucas’ voice wavers. 

“The story of two teenagers uncovering these two stories and finding out how they were connected before they were even born.” Riley says with a small smile. 

“Are there happy endings all round?” Lucas swallows hard. 

“I’m still trying to determine is that’s possible.” Riley chews on her bottom lip. “What do you think?”

“Sounds inevitable to me.” Lucas says, a crooked smile plastered on his face. 

Riley lets out a breath she was holding in. “Yeah?” 

“Sounds, epic.” Lucas says still smiling. “Does this story have a title yet?” 

Riley nods, bites down on her bottom lip and delivers her words with a hopeful smile. “The Story of Us.” 

End Notes: IMPORTANT. 

There is ONE more part coming after this. A bonus chapter titled ‘The Missing Years’ which I will give you key information about important events of ALL characters in the past ten years. 

This story is almost over and as always, it’s been a pleasure my loves !! :)