#Deciding on What to Keep From Your Life

[jolenes-book-journey]

Remembering December 2011 and our First RV Campground

Remembering December 2011 -When you get ready to go on your own RVing adventure (For Full-Timers Only) - I looked through our posts and decided to reignite one of the older posts I have. Yes, We are remembering back to December 2011

When you get ready to go on your own RVing adventure (For Full-Timers Only) I browsing through our posts and decided to reignite one of the older ones I published. Today we are remembering back to September and December of 2011 and our first RV campground. Reading some of my thoughts about getting ready to leave our long-time home may help you with your own experience. I only mention just a few…

[simplydnp]

totally normal about the 'wedding?' response continuing to evolve even though it's only been 5 shows. at this point i'm convinced the grand plan behind tit is to convince dan via exposure therapy that he's allowed to want to get married

[clownsuu]

Small detour of what I usually post, but I absolutely wish (other) clown the best of luck during these confusing and almost hopeless times- nobody knows how to deal with such amount of attention in such short amount of time- a blessing and a curse to behold

[martianbugsbunny]

I don't love Alexsandr Kallus because he's some precious, perfect paragon of a man; that's not what he is. I love Alexsandr Kallus because he was absolutely horrible and he changed. He made amends. He uprooted literally his entire life out of remorse for what he'd done in the past and determination to do better in the future. He sacrificed everything he'd ever built because it was built on the pain and death of others and he didn't want that to be the sum of his life anymore. He went into a future where all he knew he could expect was to be hunted because he was once the hunter and he wanted to make up for it. He opened his damn eyes and he looked at what he'd done and he said this isn't right, I'm going to be different from now on if it kills me. I love Alexsandr Kallus because he changed.

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

[delicatetaysversion]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

[imflyingfish]

.

[snekdood]

remember when it was the norm on here that if someone said they wanted to kill themselves, people would try to convince them not to and anything other than doing that was seen as fucked and wrong by default no matter what?

yeah.... i miss that

[terresdebrume]

I still don't know what to make of the fact that when I try to imagine my life with a baby the easiest images to come up with are the ones where someone else takes care of it instead of me

[faaun]

. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying

[not-poignant]

Pia! I need some advice. There's a writer on ao3 whose fics I really like (well, 'love' would probably be a better word) but I've just found out they are a TERF 😭

I had no idea because they don't post anything personal or political on their main tumblr and they don't write fics that reflect these views but I found their side blog and its full of terf and redfem stuff

Now I'm feeling guilty for enjoying their work and also sad because a part of me just wants to keep reading their works despite this because they really are a good writer and have kept their personal views out of their stories but...... UGGHHHHH TERF 😭😭😭

What should I do? Should I stop reading? Should I block them? Or should I separate the artist from the art and just enjoy the fics?

I am not cis btw so I feel really selfish for just wanting to ignore that stuff and keep reading.

Hi anon,

I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation. There's no point feeling guilty about something that you could never have possibly known until this moment, though I understand that the guilt still happens, it's not like you can be expected to know this stuff when you're just trying to enjoy fics on the internet, y'know? The main thing is you know now. Guilt is a good feeling for getting us to stop and pay attention, and now you're doing that.

As for what happens next, I can't really answer this for you, but I can talk around a few points which might be worth considering re: continuing to read the fic/s or not.

Separating the 'artist from the art' is almost always hugely misinterpreted, and it often doesn't mean 'pretend the artist doesn't matter so I can keep enjoying their content.' Ultimately you have to decide for yourself what you will or won't accept, and that will be down to your personal ethics or values, and how you express those ethics or values.

If my favourite fanfic author was suddenly revealed to be a TERF (unlikely as they're trans, but y'know, it could happen), I personally couldn't enjoy their writing anymore. I wouldn't be able to escape into their stories or characters, knowing the person who wrote this thing I love doesn't believe in my right to exist as I am, and wants to constantly debate my human rights. I can't suspend my disbelief that much.

But then, on the other hand, I can still watch the films of Harvey Weinstein, a horrible fucking human being and scum on earth, and justify this by knowing that many of the people who made that film are not horrible fucking human beings and he is not the only person to consider. Some people would disagree with my choice. Others will understand.

That's me, but everyone is different on matters like that, and so then it comes down to how you show support. If you continue to read this author but never give them a platform, never like their fic, comment on the chapters, interact with them in any way, rec it to another person (not without 'you should also know they're a rabid transphobe'), be a 'silent consumer' etc. and consider this the way that you demonstrate that you don't support this person's beliefs/views, that's also valid. You still express your values by lending nothing to this person that they can then benefit from. This is how some trans people still consume the works of JKR - making sure she never sees a single cent or benefit under the proud flag of piracy - for example. There are going to be other trans people who disapprove of this, or don't like this, who even make good arguments against it, and tbh, I'm on the fence about it myself, I can just understand why people come to this place with it.

Some of those expressions of our values can be problematic - paying for the work of someone who is transphobic (which you're obviously not doing in the case of fic) directly benefits a transphobe who is publicly transphobic. That's just...straight up harmful. That doesn't really express your values. In fact it may express opposite values. Reccing the fics of this author for example, knowing other trans readers might find the side blog one day and feel deeply wounded and betrayed, expresses opposite values - this would be problematic.

You might be someone who sends them a message anonymously or similar, to let them know that their views are hurtful/hateful and ask how they feel knowing that trans people are reading their stories, and see if they respond to you. Maybe they've never thought about it before. But you don't owe them that kind of labour. You may also want to consider naming/shaming them, to at least do fellow folks in your community the courtesy of avoiding a transphobe. The fact that you've gone out of your way to protect their identity even in this anon, is not something you owe them.

There are going to be different ways you make peace with this situation anon, and don't be surprised if they change over time, depending on how you feel about it. People can only tell you what they would do based on their values, and you must sit down with your own values and decide which actions support your values, and which go against them. We don't all express these things in exactly the same way. As long as you're not expressing harmful or opposite values, you're generally going to be okay, and there is sometimes room in that to still enjoy the fic, if that is something you're able to do.

(Please see the tags since I address this in a bit more detail - although the tl;dr there is - have you considered that instead of continuing to be entertained by the works of a transphobe, maybe if you stopped reading them, you'd find someone you liked just as much, if not more, who will replace them? Sometimes the harm we do is simply in giving our time and energy to someone who wishes we didn't exist, and is actively protesting against our existence - when we could look for others to entertain us who don't expect horrible ethical quandaries from us just to enjoy what they're creating).

(Also, for the record re: other folks reading (I kind of wish I hadn't been forced to respond to this publicly lmao and I'm still in two minds re: whether I'll keep it up), I'm also trans, so I feel like I can talk about the grey area more in this specific issue. I am not advising or advocating for example that white people actively read and engage in the fanfiction of known racists. This is very much - I am talking about this one thing, from a trans person to a trans person, about transphobia in the community and in the works of creators we might enjoy - and I very much want to stay focused on that).

[dawnsies]

a pol-trait with his part 5 design :P still figuring out how to draw him

[crowshoots]

man. sometimes i think about the end of soc and about the possibility of jesper leaving. but because he wanted to see this through, because he wanted to right things, because he wanted to see inej again and know she was safe, because he wanted to show his father that perhaps he wasn’t entirely a failure who only did reckless things, because he wanted something more for his friends. he went on

[hecksupremechips]

Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨

[mielicy]

the US government is militarizing residential and public/community areas as we speak bro wth are we doing

[waywardsalt]

Have you ever thought about how Linebeck describes Jolene as "crazier than a rabid squid"- only to then be possessed by a literal rabid squid later in the game?

Cause I sure have- especially after seeing a lot of your BellumxLinebeck stuff

mmmmghmm im gonna be honest i haven't thought about it much at all

linking it to my bellum x linebeck thoughts, im not too sure what to make of it in context with my other linebeck notes and w/e

there's also my idea that linebeck has a special interested in shellfish and by extension squids, and the idea of him having a weird thing for bellum, and just... enjoying sealife, and it's kinda of...

he compares her to a rabid squid to link in order to i think... offer a shorthand explanation of what she's like, and i think it (with some other stuff) is kinda just another little peek into how he might feel abt her?

i mean he also compares link to a dog in that one letter? i'm not sure where im going with that one. i dont think linebeck particularly likes dogs

i'm not sure abt the link between that and him getting possessed, jolene is kind of just... there a lot of the time and doesn't really do anything except 1) show that linebeck has enemies and 2) show that people know about link's quest by the end, linebeck generally references sea creatures a few times in ph

relating to bellum x linebeck, i dont see him comparing jolene to a squid an indicator of anything in relation to that, with linebeck having a thing for bellum its more of like. there's a lot of complicated ideas i have with what goes on between them during bellumbeck and bellum being a squid thing is more linebeck having a bit of a monsterfucker streak and having a bit of a thing for like. being tied up. as for literal squids he kinda just likes them as food and to dissect and learn about

like i think 'rabid squid' is more like linebeck just tossing out some derogatory shorthand to explain how he thinks of jolene as some fucking. violent annoyance he has to deal with that he doesn't fully understand

tbh i see the comparison but imo it comes down to a difference in characters and interactions and histories, there is the rabid squid thing (and i think in the manga too theres a vague parallel drawn ig) but im not. sure. what there is there just beyond. linebeck talks about sea creatures and wants to get the fuck away from jolene

i'm not entirely certain what you've been thinking about with that comparison, but i haven't been thinking much about it and it's kinda. eh ig???? its something