#administrator Gwyn wants this in the queue

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Have you been surprised by the popularity of any of your characters? Characters you weren’t sure would catch on but became loved?

Anon, I've been surprised by the popularity of nearly all of my characters.

Augus and Gwyn started out as side "throwaway" OCs in a fanfic because I needed an Unseelie and Seelie representative.

And like, *gestures to all of Fae Tales* - That wasn't a plan! That wasn't meant to be a thing!!

And then, Ash was meant to be a throwaway foil to his brother and *gestures wildly at Ash*

And then like, Efnisien literally gets killed before we even meet him in Game Theory and *gestures to all of everything re: Falling Falling Stars and Underline the Rainbow*

And then also Dr Gary wasn't even supposed to have proper chapters in Falling Falling Stars and *gestures so wildly at that story and Underline and then screeches like a dinosaur*

Seriously none of my original writing on AO3 would exist if it wasn't for two throwaway OCs in a fanfic gaining popularity and getting so many questions about them from the most wonderful anons and readers that eventually I had to take them more seriously to the point that I finally had enough to write a story.

And even THEN it was only supposed to be 3 chapters of hatefucking.

My original writing career can be defined by just saying 'OH OOPS' in more extreme ways each time.

It's gotten to the point where I'm truly tempted to introduce characters from new worlds upcoming as side characters in current worlds lmao, because I feel this is a bizarre skill I have and didn't know I had until one day I was like 'wait.'

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I just read all of Palmarosa yesterday and I am blown away by your character development. You are amazingly talented and I cannot wait for Chapter 29.

In good news I finished chapter 29 today! I also started chapter 30 (I really don't want those chapters coming too far apart because chapter 29 honestly ends in a really bleak/grim place), and got about 1000 words into that!

It's been really awesome to have a bit more time for Palmarosa again :D And I've started playing BG3 again which has really helped just for mentally holding the atmosphere in my head! Every time I see Raphael I get so stupidly excited lmao

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14 and 24 for the OC asks, FFS Efnisien?

14. How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

I think Falling Falling Stars Efnisien honestly didn't want to be perceived at all, by most other characters.

But in the case of those closest to him, he most wants to be seen as safe and trustworthy, even though he thinks no one should see him that way.

And in the case of Dr Gary, he wants Dr Gary to be proud of him.

Whenever someone trusts Efnisien, he views it as such a gift, and he's very much like 'are you sure? I don't know if you should.' But that's what he wants most, to be perceived as someone who is safe, and to be worthy of that. T.T

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

I 100% believe that Efnisien would have killed himself in many alternative scenarios re: not going to Hillview, or not sticking out therapy with Dr Gary.

He got so close anyway, and he always expected that to be the way he died.

I really think every single one of Efnisien's alternative life paths are tragic. Much like in Game Theory, he just...dies. Whether it's by his own hand, or someone else's, up until this story, Efnisien was killed off in just about every story he was in. Even in The Wildness Within, where it's more tragic, it still just...happens.

Falling Falling Stars was his chance to live. We can see and imagine alternative scenarios sadly because of all the other stories he's been in before that!

~

From the edgy OC meme!

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I just really wanted to say, while I’m in my emotions, that you are one of my favorite writers beyond all others and you have been for 12 years now. I discovered you with the Shadows and Light series and just… continued reading your work ever since. Your work has brought me great comfort in my darkest hours, in my traumas, and I site it as something very dear and important to me. I’ve recently introduced my partner to your work, and I find that wild because like.. I went from being an incredibly stuck and traumatized, lonely individual when I first stumbled upon your work to having my own living space with a fiancée and I’m receiving actual help for my cPTSD.

And your work just.. sort of.. gave me comfort along the entire way.

You continue to inspire me.

Thank you for that.

Ahhh thank YOU <3333

Also I'm so proud/glad that you're receiving help for your C-PTSD. It's such a brutal disorder, and it's such a hard thing to shift honestly, getting care for it is itself an incredible act of bravery, I feel like everything in us can sometimes drive us away from even thinking we deserve it. So you're amazing, anon.

But also just dsalfkjsa thank you <333

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I just finished reading Falling Falling Stars (took me forever but I loved it) and I was wondering if there was going to be a short one off of Kadek, Arden and Efnisien? I love their dynamic together whenever Efnisien was at Kadek’s house. You’re an amazing writer by the way, but I’m sure you already know that. 🖤

Hi anon,

I don't know that I'll ever write a one-off of Kadek / Arden / Efnisien that I haven't already written in Falling Falling Stars (they do actually share a couple of moments of kink together there, and a bunch more content of them just hanging out together).

That being said, there is a Kadek/Efnisien story coming after Constellations is finished! That will be more than one chapter long and will probably have a similar length to Constellations.

I'm not ruling out more Arden / Kadek / Efnisien content, just that I feel like we get a lot of it in Falling Falling Stars, so the stuff I'm more drawn to writing is the stuff that's not in that story but still relevant in this world! They are a lot of fun together, but now I really want to write just Kadek and Efnisien learning how to deal with their stuff (and kinks) without Arden there to mediate them lol.

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I assume from the meme that you really like rereading things because you write things intending readers to read the same story again!

Correct!

I know not everyone will reread, even if they really like a story, because everyone reads differently.

But I write my stories specifically with rereading in mind, so that the second and third rereads actually feel more rich and revealing than the first.

This is a combination of unreliable narrators, reveals, things like... the pleasure and thrill of going back and seeing all the foreshadowing to a truth that gets revealed later, and knowing it's coming, or when you know someone's a traitor and see the signs, etc. This is particularly true of my long stories.

I love rereading a ton. My favourite stories get the rare honour of often being 'comfort rereads' for me, and I particularly enjoy stories then which offer foreshadowing, or little easter eggs, or little treats that are like 'oh my god this whole scene reads differently now that I know this character's motivations' etc. For example, Gary in Underline the Black reads very differently once you have context on his grief and his fears, vs. when he just read as a 'heartless asshole.' My plan is for that to feel more satisfying upon reread, like the reader gets to know a secret that no one else (including first readers) know.

If I can bring future levels of joy to readers, who come back to the same story, it's my favourite thing to do, because it's one of my favourite things to experience.

Same with rewatching movies and anime series etc. Like, rewatching Steven Universe when you know the context around Rose Quartz, Pearl's love for her, Garnet's journey etc. changes everything and makes the story so much richer.

If I can give even a little bit of this to folks who reread, I feel amazing.

~

From the Assumptions meme!

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Hi!

Just wanted to thank you for sharing your work with everyone. UTB is my favorite piece of literature, and I’ve read a lot. A LOT. I’m a 33 year old ex-English major.

Can we look forward to any more major arcs in UTB? If so, can we maybe get a hint?

Life is hard, but your work really helps me cope. So, thank you, again. Best wishes!

Hi anon!

Oh my goodness, thank you so much!! I'm so glad you're enjoying the writing so far.

There are definitely some big / major arcs coming. We've got the Henton arc and the Crielle arc coming, I just had to move Gary and Efnisien's character growth and relationship growth into a position for both to take place.

I'm actually just about to write the chapter on my end where Crielle officially comes back into the story.

And tbh, the hints have been there! Henton's foreshadowing about him not really having good motivations (anyone who has read Falling Falling Stars will know more about that, but I also like that some folks won't, but he's still very 'off' as a character), as well as Efnisien's certainty that Crielle will eventually kill him.

So yeah I would say actually the most action-packed arcs are still coming!

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Hello, I was wondering if you have any tips for how to start getting into writing?? I’ve always wanted to write the stories in my head down but I struggle with writing and am not very good in general haha. When I read your books I get so filled with inspiration but feel like it’s too late for me to start ( even though logically I know I’m still quite young, but being in my final year of university feels like I’m running on quicksand ).

When reading Falling Falling Stars for the first time, it was like being shown a new type of love, being shown that has changed me as a person, which is why I’m reaching out.

Thank you for your time and for sharing your wonderful stories.

Hi anon!

People can learn how to write - especially for themselves - at any age. In fact sometimes it's easier to start when you're a bit older, when you've read and experienced a lot more stories and have an idea of the kind of things you enjoy reading.

It's important mostly to just be patient and gentle with yourself. You don't have to sit down and write a contained story, free yourself from the idea that you have to write a chronological/sequential complete story when you get started.

Start with the things you want to see most. Say there's a show where you just want two characters to hook up. Write a page of that. Not even the reason why, just...start with what you're imagining.

At first it might not be exactly what you're hoping for. There will be lines you like, and dialogue you think 'oh yeah this is kind of what I wanted' etc. that's okay. Think of it like...when people start out in art, it's not what they imagined yet, but that doesn't mean it's bad! It's a 'sketch.' It's good to do lots of writing sketches too.

If you find you enjoy writing things that you've always imagined and wish you could read, practice other things too! You can look around your environment and write 'how would I describe where I'm sitting if I loved this place more than anywhere else in the world' and then write 'how would I describe where I'm sitting to an alien' or 'how would I describe how this place smells, or looks, or sounds (practice listening for the sounds outside too, it can be meditative!), or feels to the touch.'

You can do those 'sketches' anywhere - in cafes, in restaurants, on public transport, on your notes app at a friend's place, at a family dinner after everyone's eaten and you're just chilling.

And then often without thinking about it, you will use those skills to breathe more life into the things you want to see most in your writing. Instead of just a one page hook up, you might write four pages where you describe the bedroom, how things feel, what the 'mood' is etc.

All you need is an urge to see certain things in the world and wanting to write them down. Put down random lines of dialogue. If you imagine two characters arguing, or hugging, or making up, write down somewhere quickly: 'These two characters hugging' to inspire you later. Maybe something specific about it makes you happy. 'They're hugging but this one is grabbing the other one's jumper/sweater really tightly.'

Writing for me is a sequence of moments, and while I write chronologically / sequentially now, I didn't used to! I gave myself permission to write scenes because I found it freeing, because if nothing else, then I have a scene of something I always wanted to see in the world. Maybe I do nothing more than just read and enjoy it sometimes, well, that's what I wanted - to write something I wanted to see in the world!

Anyone can do that, anon, and age is seriously no barrier to that. Writing creatively is one of those things that, like wine, tends to age/get better with time, whether you're practicing it or not. Learning more about the world, other people, ourselves, and the things in it, reading more, watching more film and TV, that actually enriches our imaginative landscape, and that's what fuels writing (even if you don't have an 'imagination' in the classic sense).

Writing creatively isn't about writing 'books' - anyone can sit down and write a moment, and you can too. And if you don't like looking at a blank page, just put down a sentence. Even a sentence from another story that inspires you.

My favourite writing advice to defeat a blank page because it always makes me laugh is:

Write the worst sentence you possibly can. Like, go out of your way and make it bad and silly.

'What a dumb brown rug.'

There, you no longer have a blank page! And you can definitely write a better sentence than that!

'He hated that rug, the colour reminded him of mud, and it didn't suit the room at all.'

'He rubbed his shoes on the brown rug, locking his hands together, twisting his fingers and hoping no one noticed him.'

But you know, 'what a dumb brown rug' is fun too. :D

And ultimately, you just have to try and have some fun with it <333

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I'm very excited to see The Raven Prince in the UtR universe. He feels so layered every time you write him. Forgive the cheesy metaphor, but it's like when you tilt a diamond in and out of different light. There are so many facets to him depending on the context and who he's with. It's a delight to read him.

Honestly, this wonderful bastard man would truly adore this analogy. :D

I really love writing the Raven Prince and I'm SO looking forward to bringing Corbyn to life in the Underline universe. I'm thinking about it more and more, as we get closer (slowly) to the end of Underline the Black, and just...yeah, I'm also really looking forward to writing a story about two older men, honestly, because it's not something I get to do nearly enough of!

And Augus and the Raven Prince have always had the most amazing chemistry, I can't wait to explore that in omegaverse :D :D

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i knoooow im getting ahead of myself with underline the red but i cannot wait for the moment faber gets to enjoy a good ole nest 🥹 earlier i comforted myself with imagining faber and efnisien sharing a platonic nest 🪺 thats a thing right? since theyre not always sexual. anyway i just had this scene in my head of efnisien seeing himself in faber as he explores nesting and just seeing some of his own journey mirrored and gaining a deeper understanding

#GiveFaberHisNestDangIt

Platonic nesting is absolutely a thing! We're actually going to see Efnisien and Flitmouse doing this together in some upcoming chapters. :D

We just need to get Faber to a place where he gives himself permission to do it.

The thing I find most heartbreaking about all of that, is that refusing to let yourself nest is the sign of a very traumatised omega, and...I feel like there's this internalised rejection of himself over the whole concept that he won't even consider this.

*pets Faber gently*

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ok so I saw that you dont get many asks about this so i've worked up the courage to finally ask this but for Anton and Flitmouse in TGATNW, have you thought about how it would develop in that universe compared to UTG. Tbh, I was originally actually interested in them bc Flitmouse wants monogamy and has self-worth issues about himself while Anton is confident and has fucked just about everyone and likes it that way. But in UTR that kind of conflict doesnt really work the same way and seems to be heading for a different route. Would Anton have dedicated himself to Flitmouse (like in UTG) or would Flitmouse have grown to be less insecure about it all?

Btw, I love them both lotss, and they were the pairing that got me to read the rest of the UTR series <3

Tbh one of the reasons I stopped writing the story in The Golden Age that Never Was is because I knew it would never have a truly happy ending and I struggle to commit to stories like that.

Like, Flitmouse is mortal, Anton is immortal. Flitmouse is highly jealous, and Anton is immortal literally because every mortal he knows and loves will die and that grief kills him, for decades upon decades. Flitmouse knows Anton's love for him will do this and that Anton will then go on to have sex with lots of other people, and Anton knows that this breaks Flitmouse's heart and refuses to compromise because Flitmouse isn't a golden warrior.

In Underline the Gold they still get to have a happy ending. Because Flitmouse can be jealous or possessive but Anton is committed to him literally through their job. I can touch on an age discrepancy without having one literally live forever.

I do think in All The Loose Threads Flitmouse would have eventually adjusted, but I still think he would have always been a bit bitter and cynical about it in a way that's like... I always imagined his last years alive as an old man being quite painful for him because of it. After a while I was like 'I...can't write these two characters in this specific format because I love them so much and I want them to have a happy ending.'

It was just hard to imagine that without thinking of the weight of Flitmouse's and Anton's knowledge that it would all end in a level of heartbreak for Anton that we can't imagine for ourselves, because we're not immortal.

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I absolutely cannot wait for Kadek/Ef I LOVE THEM AS MUCH AS I LOVE ARDEN/EF

I've written the first chapter, anon, of their story! That was enough for me to know it was a sure thing, because I had to hold myself back from immediately writing more.

I've always loved their chemistry, and the places where they're so great for each other, and also the places where they clash! :D

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You’re gonna write a Kadek story?? I’M SO PUMPED, YOU’RE THE BEST!!!

Yes!

I mean so far it's all from Efnisien's perspective. I don't know if that will change, but I am actually kind of tempted to write some of it from Kadek's perspective. We'll see! It would be nice to see Efnisien through Kadek's eyes, but I also think it'll be nice to see that change/evolution through Efnisien's eyes too.

Either way, we're definitely getting a story about Efnisien's relationship with Kadek after Falling Falling Stars :D

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I’m so so so excited for the solar ritual in Palmarosa omgggg ty for writing it!!!

Haha it's been challenging, it's been a long time since I've written like, a fairly graphic rape scene (especially one that does involve blood and injury), and I had this moment of like 'wait I used to do this quite a bit more' and I think it's been years lmao.

It's been a very intimidating part of the fic that I've been frankly low-key terrified of (like, scared of scaring off readers, scared of it not being good to read, scared of folks just not reading the writing on the wall and being like 'wait you're not really going to write what you've been foreshadowing the entire time are you?' etc.)

But I'm nearly there! I don't think every solar ritual will be as lengthy as the first one, and we can probably skip past a few in linear time skips, but the ones that are emotionally significant are all going to be intense I think, especially the first one where Astarion is like 'I literally just signed a contract that allows me to be raped by strangers' and he actually has to like...live that, and it's no longer just a talking point.

Raphael's having a great time, however :D

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Are there any fandoms you haven't written for yet but would like to in the future? Or future fanfic ideas/stories that have been on your mind that you want to do after you finish your other fanfics?

I love reading your replies 😊

There's...

There's so many, anon

You know how some people worry about running out of stories to write? Yeah, I'm out here begging my brain to shut the fuck up because I already have enough stories to write.

I don't have anything seriously on my mind. I have wanted to write for the Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji fandom, and the Bungou Stray Dogs fandom for a long time. I have another long Bull/Dorian/Cullen fic I want to write for Dragon Age but that might get superceded by the latest game coming out and new characters.

I also have quite a few original stories with completely original characters that I want to write.

And don't get me started on the amount of fandoms I want to write PWPs for because we'd be here all day. I've also written for additional fandoms and not ported my fics over from Livejournal and FF.net and other websites. So I'd say there's like another 10 fandoms I've written for where if you don't know my old usernames (no I'm not going to share them lmao), like...they're just floating out in the ether.

The ideas do not stop, and sometimes I am in bed like 'pls just...let me sleep' and they fall on me like when you open an overstuffed ADHDer's cupboard and everything falls on top of you at once sdalfkjdsa

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Hi! Okay, so I found you originally gods back in like, 2018? Maybe? Time is fake. Anyways you wrote my all time favorite fic, then I found you again recently through A Stain That Won't Dissolve and I am just absolutely devouring this one as much as the other.

My question is, I know you have you original works published (Which I just saw and had no idea about and will be thoroughly checking those out.) But, would you ever do physical copies of any of your AO3 stories? I'm guessing the answer is no on that and that's totally fine!! But the thought of having those fics in my grubby lil hands in the form of paper is such a satisfying thought. But I am just as happy having them in a lil folder in my chrome or downloaded to my phone completely.

Anyways I just need you to know that you are a gods damn holy being and I am so glad you exist because your writing gives me a reason to keep living ;-; thank you!

Hi anon!

So I won't ever do physical copies of my own fanfiction stories, unless I like commission a book binder to make some copies just for me.

But as for my original stories on AO3, I do really want to physically publish them. That was actually the plan for this year - to start doing this - but I hit what I like to call Mega Burnout, and struggled just to write, and have had to backburner a lot of stuff, a lot of plans. I started to edit Game Theory and then...yeah.

It is the plan though! It's become especially true actually with later stories like Underline the Black and Falling Falling Stars. I think these could be really good published as unconventional psychological fiction, and I don't mean 'really good' as in it will make me a lot of money - I don't think they will, Perth Shifters taught me that book publishing isn't for me if I'm doing it for finance reasons lmao - but I mean... just for the satisfaction of seeing my own fucking writing on my own bookshelves.

I'm weak, I want to see it somewhere where it feels substantial, and where I can hold it in my own hands, and it has a cover, and a proper copyright page, and an index. Where it can be not just in ebook form because AO3 will do that for you, but where it can exist for audiences who wouldn't touch AO3 with a 10 foot pole (because they like missing out on great stories or w/e).

It's very indulgent of me, but as I get older, I look at my bookshelves and increasingly think 'those folks who have enjoyed my stories - including me - should at least have the choice to put them on their shelves.'

If you're a bookbinder, or willing to print them out for yourself, and don't sell them in any way or form, you can of course do it for myself.

But it grows so much more important to me over time too. <3