#but also all their stuff and thr comfort of familiarity and knowing what they need and that you can work with that
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terresdebrume · 5 months ago
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I still don't know what to make of the fact that when I try to imagine my life with a baby the easiest images to come up with are the ones where someone else takes care of it instead of me
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gothghostiie · 27 days ago
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oh also i got a studded paddle and now im thinking about ghost using it
cw: spanking/impact, more comfort before play, gn!reader
ghost and you often shop for new toys together, its a little date you have every now and then if you will. youre both familiar with BDSM and kinks that often come with it - impact play, bondage, spanking, pain, marks. you love it, he loves it. now this time he actually brings something up, instead of just browsing with you. "y'know.." he hums. "I've been thinkin'.. what do y'think about paddles?" the thought excites you, a bit more than you'd like to admit.
"I like the idea. why?" he takes the laptop and types, showing you a leather paddle with metal studs. you internally wince while your cheeks heat up. he eyes you over, trying to gauge your reaction, keeping quiet. "sure." you say, a bit nervous but more excited. he kisses your head and adds it to the cart, you two continue browsing for a bit.
it takes a few days before the package comes, right when he's out. you take the package, cheeks hot, as if the delivery guy knows what's in the package. you put it on the coffee table, staring at it. its finally here, you've been thinking about nothing but that god forsaken paddle - and hes not here. you send him a picture that makes him chuckle in the middle of the grocery store. 'I'll be home soon love.' he texts back, it makes you groan in frustration. the phone lands on the cushions as you wait, it feels like hours of just staring at the brown box. until the keys jingle in the car door. then your heart rate suddenly picks up and you freeze between wanting to hide from the package and your boyfriend and running to him with the box in hand. he carries in the bags, kissing your head as he walks past you, chuckling at your state. simon takes his sweet time to put the stuff he bought away, before he finally sits down with you.
"you alright?" he asks gently. you nod. "nervous, hm?" you nod again. "we dont have to try it."
"I want to." a short pause. "now."
"now?"
"now."
he hums and stands up, taking the package and your hand, leading you to the bedroom. you two sit on the bed, opening the package and going through everything together, he tries to make you less nervous. then the paddle comes out, you bite your lip. he hands it to you so you get a feel for it, get familiar with it. he watches you quietly, its something between adorable and hot to him, watching you is making his pants tight. it takes a few minutes before you hand it to him and quietly stand up, without a word pulling your pants down and layinh over his lap. he hums in pleasant surprise, grabbing thr handle tightly.
"ready?"
"ready."
he nods and starts with some light swats to your ass, it's more a pat than anything. you get comfortable with the feeling, his hand rubbing your back soothingly. its intimate and calm, the swats slowly getting harder. after a few more they have a sting to it. you can feel the pointy studs when the paddle conntects, making you wince, nails digging into his jeans. your ass starts burning, small indents from the pointy metal as he keeps going gradually harder. you're squirming, moaning, near tears from either pleasure or pain - maybe both, you're not sure at this point. all you know is that you need him inside you. now.
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cyberrose2001 · 1 year ago
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I got this headcanon or fanfic idea I wanted to see again, of optimus prime with a chubby reader who is always very shy or timid trying to avoid getting op's attention after the leader himself decided to be their guardian, they would do that by just acting like some bg character ,their own business in their own spot,but always liking to look at Optimus, admiring him, having this nice feeling.
Optimus always questioned and wondered why after they came ,why they where the one to be less interacting, always on thr corner wacthing everything while playing with their fingers, and with now him being their guardian, he could have a better chance to talk to them and know more of them
I always find chubby reader stuff so cute ^^, it can be any gender , I got a little carried away with my mind
TFP Optimus x chubby!GN!reader
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"I perceive that you are going through some inner conflict." Optimus continues to speak softly, "If it is any consolation to you, you are free of judgement whilst you are with me."
(I'm running out of gifs to use oop-)
This one was such a pleasure to write due to my own experience, I am always willing to write chubby readers and the fluff that ensues <3
Warnings: SFW, fluff, chubby reader.
Word count: 1071
You've been the quiet type for as long as you can remember, opting to observe everyone and everything around you. You had always told yourself it was by choice that your feelings towards yourself had no influence on your interactions with others and that you were only shy. But ultimately, you've always felt self-conscious about what others think, often comparing yourself to the more extroverted individuals and their confidence in striking up conversations with strangers. You wish you had that confidence, but no matter how hard you try, you get tongue-tied and retreat to a safe space, usually away from prying eyes.
But sometimes, the prying eyes find you again, particularly one gorgeous pair of blue optics that belong to your guardian. Of course, you try your best to hide from him due to his large stature and commanding yet gentle voice. Still, over time you found yourself catching glances with Optimus more often, and when you did, he always gave you a soft smile.
Optimus Prime was a very observant bot by nature; it came with his job being both the leader of the Autobots and an expert ex-archivist. He had only been your guardian for a few months. Still, he has picked up on the differences between the personalities of the other humans and you. Optimus is familiar with the others, being loud and at least somewhat interactive. Still, he had never met a quiet and timid human like you. It made him wonder why you acted so that you would retreat to the room's corners and avoid all contact with everyone.
Well, all verbal contact, at least. Optimus had noticed your increasing stares directed at him. He decided to pull you aside to try and talk to you, hidden away in his berthroom. Hence, the conversation is private but also in hopes of making you feel more comfortable. He still noticed you fidgeting with your fingers and absentmindedly picking at the corners of your fingernails. Optimus knew this was a self-soothing tactic and a clear indicator that you were anxious about talking with him. So, Optimus reached his servos down to ever pry your hands away so gently from each other to prevent more scratches that tattered your delicate skin.
"I must ask," Optimus runs a digit across your wrist. He can feel the goosebumps along with your hair standing on end. Optimus needs to speak quietly to be as un-intimidating to you as possible, "Why must you avoid speaking to me?"
It was a simple question to most, but you struggle to find the words yet again, and you can feel the familiar knot in the back of your throat. Optimus senses your inability to speak and gently squeezes your wrist to bring you back to the present moment.
"I perceive that you are going through some inner conflict." Optimus continues to speak softly, "If it is any consolation to you, you are free of judgement whilst you are with me."
Optimus is surprised to find a quiet voice piercing through the cold air of his room. Your voice is so soft-spoken that Optimus had to strain his audio receptors to hear what you were saying.
"I'm sorry, Optimus." You breathe out, unsure what to say next or how to relay your emotions. You are not used to laying your feelings bare for anyone to see, "I just worry about how people see me."
Optimus gives you a gentle nod in encouragement and understanding; this was about your self-esteem regarding your body. He understood that humans have a specific preference for body types. It not only confused him, but he found it rather foolish that, for their very short lifespan, they chose to spend it tearing other people down. But, of course, Cybertronians are quite the opposite. For the most part, his kind has moved past such trivial matters. But what does Optimus expect from a species so young with so much to learn?
"Has someone made you feel this way?" Optimus encourages you to open up to him further. Of course, someone had to or Optimus would not think you would feel this way. He believes you are beautiful and endearing despite your lack of attention towards him.
You trace the seams of his servos with your fingers to distract yourself more. Optimus' lingering servo still wrapped around your wrist, and if you were honest, it was causing your heart to race. You pray that Optimus hasn't noticed, "Many people have. They say that nobody can love someone like me."
"And that is the reason why you avoid us? For fear of judgement, is that correct?" Optimus listens intently.
"Yep..." You pull your knees as much as you can up to your chest and hug them, "I also feel like I have nothing to offer. Jack, Miko and Raf all have unique talents, and I can't even talk to someone without becoming a nervous wreck."
Optimus pauses for a moment, his glowing optics flickering over your form. He feels thrilled because this is the most extended conversation ever with you, and he appreciates that you feel comfortable enough to confide in him. However, he doesn't let his excitement show and continues using a soft voice.
"Y/n," He gently whispers your name. Then, he squeezes your hands softly, "Do you know why I have chosen you to be my charge?"
You shake your head, enjoying the pressure of his servos on your wrists, "No, not really."
"It is due to how much you remind me of myself before I was a Prime and an archivist." Optimus lets a servo trail up your arm to rest on your shoulder, "I was exactly like you, and I have reason to believe that you will accomplish extraordinary things one day. So do not allow other people to drag you down."
"And, to the people who believe you are unworthy of love because of your outward appearance." Optimus brings a digit to your plump cheek, "They could never be more wrong."
Optimus Prime's words of love and appreciation made your heart skip a beat, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch. You felt a smile creep onto your lips for the first time in a long time. For now, you knew that as long as you had Optimus as a guardian, you were safe. You could feel secure knowing no one would ever hurt or treat you poorly again.
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whimperwoods · 3 years ago
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Part 9 of Gozukk and Anna
Anna has a doctor’s appointment. Gozukk turns down an offer to join the church. Jak helps out.
[Note: One of the d&d canon things I particularly don’t like is that the ‘evil races’ have their own separate evil gods particular to their race. I’m aware that there are halfling and elf and dwarf pantheons also, but the thing is that those generally have deities of multiple alignments (rather than only evil ones) and those communities seem to be allowed to serve any gods they want, in practice. In my d&d world, orcs can too, and this particular tribe, to the extent to which they’re religious, is affiliated with Kelemvor. Not everyone worships him, and there are some individuals with other faiths, but he’s the god they have a shrine and a cleric for/from. (I’m not sure it matters that much from a worldbuilding standpoint, but I’ve taken an overall position of “no-race-specific deities,” which does also throw Moradin and the like out with the bathwater, but that’s probably alright.)]
The masterpost is here and includes a cheat sheet with character names, since the list of people she’s met in the community just keeps getting bigger.
tw: slavery (past), tw: PTSD, tw: past rape/noncon (barely referenced), tw: past abuse, tw: fantasy religion (no religious trauma), tw: panic attack, tw: drug reference (past), tw: date rape drug (past)
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!
Tag list: @redwingedwhump, @nine-tailed-whump, @thehurtsandthecomfurts @kixngiggles, @bluebadgerwhump, @dragonheart905, @carolinethedragon, @whumpzone, @newbornwhumperfly, @cupcakes-and-pain, @much-ado-about-whumping
****
Anna’s legs shook faintly as the healer shouted for her and her master to enter, but she tried to keep her face steady as she ducked under Gozukk’s arm and in through the flap of the tent.
The space was small but comfortable, the furnishings generally not quite as nice as Gozukk’s, with the exception of a smallish but very fine altar, richly carved from solid wood. A set of heavy brass scales sat on it, held up by a skeletal hand, the same image that was carved along its sides, and that she recognized from the box in Gozukk’s room, and a small collection of candles sat around it.
Gozukk knelt briefly in front of the altar, going down on one knee with a quick bow and then rising to his feet again before turning to the healer, Mukzod. “I’m sure you’ve heard plenty about our newest guest,” he said calmly, as if he hadn’t paused at all. Anna felt certain she should kneel, too, but somehow she found herself frozen, unable to move farther into the tent, or to do anything at all.
Mukzod was dressed in dark grey robes, well-made and clean, with the same skeleton-arm scales embroidered carefully across his chest, but looked fresh-faced, too young for such serious, formal vestments. He was a half head shorter than Gozukk but just as wide, with dark messy hair that flopped into his eyes as he nodded toward her and made her shudder and freeze up. He looked almost nothing like Master Kir, but that hair, the length of it, the little flick of his head to get it out of his eyes - her chest tightened with fear, her breath shortening.
The healer’s smile was warm, but she couldn’t slow her racing heart.
“Hello, guest. Anna, is it? Did I hear correctly?”
Her mouth was dry and she couldn’t answer. Gozukk reached a hand halfway toward her, but then stopped and she suddenly, desperately wished he hadn’t, wished she could bury her face in his chest and not see this new stranger, with his new hair, and his new tent. But that was a foolish thing to wish, wasn’t it?
“Yes,” Gozukk answered, his voice softer now, as if to put her at ease even though he was talking to the healer. “You’ve heard right. I already know she’s wounded, but I want to make sure she isn’t also cursed or marked or being tracked.”
“You know, if you just gave a little bit more of yourself to Kelemvor, you could do it yourself,” Mukzod said jovially. “We all know your piety is genuine.”
Gozukk laughed. “For the last time, cleric, a paladin oath is out of the question. The tribe has to come first. You know that. A holy life is not in my cards.”
Mukzod held his hands up, “I know, I know! I only ask because I know you’d be good at it.”
Anna watched the exchange, trying to follow. Kelemvor was - was a god of - of something. Scales. Justice? But no, that was Tyr, everybody knew that. The skeleton, though - the skeleton - her eyes widened, and her body began to shake.
“I - I didn’t realize you worshipped - umm -” Her voice was thin, tense, and surely one of them would bark at her to speak up. She tensed, awaiting a slap for interrupting, or for doing it poorly, or both. Instead, both men turned slowly to look at her, their posture open, hands away from her.
“It’s alright, Anna,” Gozukk said, “He’s not a god of death. He’s a god of the dead, which is something else.”
Mukzod had his hands up, the palms out toward her. “The chief is right. We don’t kill, not unless we have to. Not unless we’re fighting undead things. I’m more about healing. And curing diseases. And burying bodies we find unattended in the desert, which happens a little more often than one would hope.”
She shivered. She’d seen a body like that, had watched the men in the caravan dragging another man’s corpse away from the hooves and wheels that had crushed him to death, only to leave him lying in a heap alongside their caravan route and keep moving at Master Kir’s orders.
She opened her mouth to ask if they’d found the man from the caravan, if they’d buried him properly, but then she couldn’t. What if they thought she’d had something to do with it? She still remembered the beating she’d gotten after they stopped that night, how unsure she’d been whether her master thought she’d done something to distract the dead man, or whether he was just frustrated. She’d known her place. She hadn’t needed to be reminded. She didn’t need to be reminded now.
She sank onto her knees and felt both safer and less safe, in over her head and drowning in uncertainty.
Gozukk knelt beside her again, taking her hands gently in his own, so gently she could have pulled away, but she knew her place, and maybe soon he would realize she knew it and she wouldn’t have to be so scared.
“It’s alright, Anna,” he said, running his thumb gently over her knuckles. “You don’t have to worship him. Plenty of folks don’t. But I do, and Mukzod does, and he’s got some magic that can help you, if that man did anything that’s lingering.” He scowled, but over her shoulder, not at her. “Anything magical, anyway.”
The cleric placed one hand on her shoulder and the other on Gozukk’s and she flinched heavily before she could stop herself.
“Is it alright if I do a quick magic detection spell? If all is well, I’ll won’t see anything, and we’ll know the human doesn’t have any magical hooks into you. If there is something, I’ll have to do some tests, but we can fix that, too.”
His voice was soothing, but she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t look at the hair falling into his eyes, scraping his shoulders around the back of his neck. She was shaking, and she couldn’t stop. She gripped Gozukk’s hands tighter, hoping he would allow her nearer. He squeezed back gently and she scooted forward on her knees until she was close enough to whisper into his ear.
“Please, Sir -” she flinched, but decided not to correct herself and maybe he wouldn’t notice, “I - can I -” He let go of one of her hands and then reached up and brushed her hair behind her ear, a gesture that was increasingly becoming a familiar one. She steeled herself and caught her breath. “May I put my head on your shoulder again, please? Like yesterday, when I was -” she didn’t have a word for what she was, “Please, Gozukk, I’m sorry I’m weak, I just - I can - I can do this. I can be good, please, I just - I need - please.” Her breath gave out, her body shaking even harder.
Yesterday, she’d leaned into him with both of their hands between them, his pressing hers to his chest. Now, he wrapped one arm around her carefully, keeping hold of her hand with his other one and drawing her just slightly closer. “Is this alright?” he whispered into the space between them, “Does this help?”
She shook, and wasn’t sure how to answer, but she knew what she’d wanted at first, knew what she’d wanted, and thought she still wanted it. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder, her breath coming in deep gasps, and he removed his arm from the small of her back as she kept fighting for air, tracing his fingers through her hair at the temple instead.
“It’s alright,” he said, “I’m here to help.”
After a moment of his arm hovering beside her, he let it fall to his side, not touching her as she knelt up against him, watching him breathe and trying to time her breaths to his.
“Are you ready for the spell?” he asked.
She nodded against his shoulder.
“We’re ready, Mukzod.”
Nothing happened. The cleric said a few words in a language she didn’t understand, and then he fell silent, the air in the room unchanged.
“Nope, all clear,” he said after a moment. “Your pendant’s lighting up like a candle, Chief, and the altar, and some of my stuff, so the spell’s working, but she’s not got any magic on her. Not that lingers, anyway. I can try a dispulsion anyway, but as far as I can tell, there’s nothing there to dispel.”
Gozukk leaned his cheek against her temple, sighing in relief. “There we go. You’re safe. Now we know it for sure.”
“I -” Mukzod cleared his throat. “Can I be of any other service? I’d thought you might have come for healing. Or perhaps a calming spell?”
A calming spell? Anna had never heard of that, but as soon as she thought too hard about it, she found herself remembering the times Master Kir had - what had that been - he’d put something in the wine, she’d known there was something in the wine, but he’d made her drink it anyway, made her drink it, made her choke trying to swallow as he forced it down her throat and then he’d - and then he’d -”
She sobbed, her head suddenly spinning, her entire body tingling like there were bees buzzing just inside her skin, and her head on Gozukk’s shoulder wasn’t enough to keep it at bay, wasn’t enough to keep anything at bay, wasn’t - wasn’t -
She grabbed desperately for the front of his shirt, closing her hand into a fist around the fabric and forcing herself to keep breathing. His free hand came up alongside her head, but he didn’t quite touch her, just kept it hovering there, like he was shielding her from the sun. As another wrenching sob tore itself from her throat, she pulled herself closer to him, into that protection, and everything else be damned.
“We’re done for the day,” Gozukk said, his voice rough-edged with anger, like it never was when he talked to her, and she flinched but didn’t dare pull away, couldn’t afford it when he was the only thing steadying her spinning head, couldn’t afford it when it might make him angry, couldn’t - couldn’t - she couldn’t breathe. She gasped for air.
"She’s allowed to feel what she feels,” he snapped at the cleric, “She’s doing fine.”
His own breathing wasn’t quite as steady as she knew it could be, deepening as if he were holding himself together, holding back the snarl she could hear at the edge of his voice.
But then the snarl was gone, and his voice was velvet-gentle again, his hand stroking carefully through her hair. “It’s alright, Anna. You did well. It’s been a stressful day. You don’t have to do anything more. Mukzod just wants you safe, same as me.”
The gentleness was for her. It was just for her, and she was a fool, and she believed it, and she knew she was a fool, but she could feel herself starting to shake apart, could feel the way the buzz under her skin threatened to become the way she felt in the dark, at night, like a fire burning itself out, like she was dying a piece at a time, reducing herself to ash as she went, and she couldn’t. She couldn’t die now, not while she was in a place she was fool enough to half-believe might be better.
“Do you want me to carry you back home?” he asked, his voice still soft, rumbling through his chest and under her cheek, and when had she twisted her head sideways like this, resting more fully on his shoulder? “Or do you want to wait it out here and then we can walk back together? I think you need some quiet for a little bit. You can take another nap, like yesterday. You’re still healing.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting go of the front of his shirt, and he took it as an answer, rearranging immediately to gather her up in his arms and cradle her against his chest.
When he rose to his feet still holding her, she didn’t shudder this time, but she wondered if that was only because to shake any more than she was already shaking might be to shake herself to pieces.
The softness in his voice was gone as he looked up at the cleric and ordered, “Open the flap for me,” all of a sudden in control again, the chief whose feet she had been thrown down in front of. But then he was bending his neck to speak softly in her ear again, the gentleness returned to his voice. “Squeeze my neck when you’re ready for me to walk, and we’ll go. Just tell me when you’re steady.”
She squeezed his neck, desperate to be away from here, as if the bees in her skin would leave her alone out in the sun.
They didn’t, but Gozukk let her bury her face in the side of his neck and kept holding her, his arms solid around her and his breath steady, now, soothing.
Halfway back to the tent, small footsteps joined them, a voice she didn’t recognize piping up from below. “Whoa, Uncle Gozukk, is something wrong?”
“Get the flap when we get to my tent, Jak,” he said, the imperiousness gone again, as if it had never been, his voice warm and normal, but without the particular softness he seemed to save for her, and what did that mean? She sobbed in spite of herself, about nothing, or maybe about everything, but her head was full of bees and her skin was full of bees and she couldn’t think.
“She’ll be alright once she has a little peace and quiet,” Gozukk explained, tone patient, “She’s just a little overwhelmed.”
A small hand patted her dangling ankle and she pulled away instinctively before she realized the boy was no threat.
“Oh,” he said, “That makes sense. Does she need a calm down cloth?”
She could feel Gozukk’s chuckle, deep in his chest. “Yeah, that might not be a bad idea. Why don’t you go get one after you help me inside? And then you can go back to whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing.”
“Got it!” The footsteps sped up, then stopped again, waiting for them to catch up.
Anna clung to Gozukk the rest of the way to the tent, relieved when Jak’s footsteps pattered away as soon as she and Gozukk were inside.
The fine chair he’d been seated in to meet the caravan was inside, now, set behind the table in the front room, and Gozukk settled her into it. She grabbed at its arms, surprised, and squeezed them tighter when Gozukk squatted down in front of her to look in her eyes. She couldn’t get out of the chair and down to his level. He didn’t want that. She had to stay. She had to stay.
Her breathing was still ragged, too fast, and she knew it, but she couldn’t do anything about it.
“Anna, can you hear me?”
Everything was still too much, his words clear enough to make sense, but then immediately gone to her, as if they had never been. She nodded, trying to keep hold of the question.
“Alright. You did a good job this morning. I want to make sure you know that. It’s alright if you need to stay in here the rest of the day. I’ll try to come check on you when it’s time for lunch, but if you get hungry before I come back, you can go find Djaana or one of the twins, and they’ll look after you.”
She was breathing. That, she was sure of. His voice was soothing, reassuring, and the things he was saying were reassuring, and she couldn’t make them mean anything. She nodded. Reassuring. He was being reassuring. She could be reassured. She kept breathing.
Gozukk nodded back. Her breathing eased a little. Good. He was pleased.
Jak came running in, and she got a good look at him for the first time. He had the same dark hair as Djaana and Gozukk, but his eyes were a lighter color, a green she hadn’t expected, and even with some lingering baby roundness to his face, she could tell there was something about his cheekbones that must be like his father. Gozukk stuck a hand out to slow the boy before he could run all the way to her, and he blushed, looking bashful.
“Oh. Sorry. I forgot about the quiet.” He held out a damp, white cloth, in her direction, and she wasn’t sure what to do but take it.
The boy’s green eyes stared at her, his arm drifting behind his back so he could wrap his hand around his elbow, still staring. “Thank you,” she said quietly, aware that her breathing was loud and her voice wasn’t.
“Why don’t you explain to Anna how it works, just in case her mama and grandmother didn’t teach her?” Gozukk asked, something of the softness he always aimed at her in his voice as he addressed the boy.
“Yeah!” Jak said, his face brightening! “It’s easy, Miss Anna! You just put it on the back of your neck, and it’s nice and cool so it feels good, and then you just breathe real steady and think about cooling down and noticing that it feels good, and then when it gets dry, you can go back outside and play or try what you were doing again. Or I guess you can - I dunno. What do you like doing?”
She had no answer, but there wasn’t enough time for it to become awkward. Gozukk laid a hand on Jak’s shoulder. “Why don’t you wait and ask her that in a couple of days? You wouldn’t like it if somebody asked you a bunch of questions while you were trying to calm down, would you?”
“Oh! No!” He mimed locking his mouth closed with a key and tucking it into his pocket, and Anna found herself smiling in spite of everything. She put the cloth against the back of her neck to prove she’d been trying to listen, though there was a lot he said that she hadn’t been able to keep ahold of, the words slipping through her fingers as half of her kept getting wrapped up in her own breath.
He was right. It felt lovely, cool and soft. She closed her eyes, half instinctively, and managed a deeper breath.
She could hear a smile in Gozukk’s voice as he said, “Take all the time you need. We’ll be back to check on you at lunch time.”
Then both sets of footsteps walked away, out the door, and she was alone.
She slid out of the chair and onto her knees, where she felt more herself, but kept the cloth where it was, steadying her breathing as much as she could and thinking about the coolness, the dry air pulling water from the cloth, the dampness sitting against her skin, and nobody touching her.
When the cloth dried, she wasn’t calm, but she was close.
#d&d whump#fantasy whump#hurt/comfort#whump#recovery whump#past slavery tw#past abuse tw#ptsd tw#fantasy religion tw#panic attack tw#drug allusion tw#vague rape/noncon allusion tw#drugging tw#Jak was NOT supposed to be in this he just SHOWED UP#he WAS supposed to be at breakfast but he was NOT THERE#this child i swear#also Anna is triggered by mullets because real triggers are weird sometimes but also bc i am a clown all the time#her other doctor's appointment should be hopefully better but might actually just be weirder who knows#Mazogga's older and wiser than Mukzod but she's also old enough to be the boss of Gozukk so she's gonna do what she's gonna do#does this need some kind of a trigger warning for medical? it really isn't medical but maybe?#anyway jak's a good boy and everybody's trying their best and it's just gonna take some time#gozukk's family believes in AUTONOMY and RESPONSIBLE EMOTIONAL SELF-REGULATION#their enemies think orcs are scary because of the teeth and muscles but ALSO because of the CONFIDENCE and SELF-EFFICACY#or something#idk i just love orcs and i want them to have good things#and anna deserves a loving and supportive community#and they deserve an anna they just don't know it yet because she hasn't come into her own yet#but she will one day#in chapter a billion or something because i keep getting ideas for very tiny increments of time after the previous ones#would you believe i thought this chapter might be her visiting BOTH the healer AND the midwife? a clown
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auror-lovie · 4 years ago
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I Loved You, Mr. Scamander; Chapter 2
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━━━•✦.✧. Author’s Note.✧.✦•━
Chapter 2 is O U T!
GOSH THE AMOUNT OF RESEARCH I DID JUST TO MAKE THIS CHAPTER. 
Besides the point, I had a lot of fun doing the research. (Where was this version of me in high school-)
I hope you guys enjoy it! This chapter is a bit longer than I anticipated. It was a mix of research, personal experiences, and listening to the same song for hours-
You can find the playlist and the taglist form link in my bio! (Or you can just comment, send an ask, or PM- whichever feels comfortable)
━━━━━•✦.✧. Summary .✧.✦•━
After Hogwarts, (Y/N) and Victoria become the MOM’s Investigation Department’s secret weapon. While celebrating the completion of a recent case, she meets someone new. Who knew that this someone is related to her first love?
━━━━━•✦.✧. Add-Ons .✧.✦•━
A little back story of what happened during their last year at Hogwarts
Theseus~! ( Gosh, I hope I didn’t write him too out of character. Then again, in this chapter, he’s fresh out of WWI )
Victoria and (Y/N)’s friendship is solely based on the friendship I have with my fellow RavenPuff best friend. ( If she ever finds this fic, though I doubt it, I love you~! )
Fluff! (Hopefully)
Theseus and Reader being oblivious to these coincidences.
CLICHE ROMANCE STUFF. I’M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC, OKAY???
Hilarity ensues
Blood, but it’s a short scene
Slight angst at the end
━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━
Before Newt left, he promised to owl them. He was set on working for the Ministry to work with magical creatures in some way. Though his letters always came at odd hours- stupid time zones.
The day after Newt's expulsion, (Y/N) and Victoria had cut ties with Leta. They couldn’t trust her after what had happened. Despite all that, (Y/N) wished Leta the best in life.
For once the roles reversed, Victoria wanted to hex the hell out of Leta, but (Y/N) talked her out of it. Told her that it wasn’t worth it. Instead of spending all that energy on hating someone, it was better to wish them the best and let them go.
Sixth year had come to an end. On the day everyone was set to go back home for the summer holiday, Headmaster Dippet had summoned Victoria to his office.
“Headmaster Dippet,” She said as she stepped into his office. “What can I do for you?”
“You can take this, Miss Howard.” He replied, his hand gesturing to a small, yet elegant metal box that sat near her side of the desk.
Puzzled, Victoria walked closer. She hesitantly grabbed the box and opened it. On the small cushion, laid a navy blue pin, with the words HEAD GIRL in bronze.
“T-This is an honor, sir.” She stumbled, picking it up. It was funny how valuable a small badge would be. How much weight and responsibility it held while being almost as light as a feather.
“I want you to wear it on the first day back.” He gave a small smile.
“I understand, Professor. I can’t thank you enough-“
“Hush child. Come next year, you’ll curse me out for giving you the responsibilities.”
In their final year at Hogwarts, they made it their best year yet. They went to all the Quidditch games and Hogsmeade trips. They studied their hardest and gave it their all. When they graduated, they both got “Exceeds Expectations” and “Outstanding” in all the subjects needed to apply for the Auror Training Program. These subjects were Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Herbology, and Charms.
~*~*~
Auror training required strenuous work to complete, but nothing they couldn’t handle. It was mandatory to undergo a rigorous series of character and aptitude tests. These tests showcased how well they reacted under pressure. They trained extensively in advanced magical combat, other elements of practical defense, and methods of criminal investigation.
Other training courses were Concealment and Disguise, Stealth and Tracking, Battle Instinct, Best-Laid Plans, Duelling in the Dark, Field Training, History of the Dark Arts, Method in the Mad-Eye, Resilience Training, and The Auror Advantage; while poisons and antidotes were also essential studies. Their training lasted for three years and was difficult work.
(Y/N) excelled in courses like Battle Instinct and Dueling in the Dark. Victoria showed her prowess in courses like Stealth and Tracking and Best-Laid Plans. Their personalities complimented each other. Apart, they had their successes, but together? They were a force not to be reckoned with. You’ve heard of power couples, but they were a powerful dynamic duo.
The Ministry of Magic in the Investigation Department is where they started. They were the department’s secret weapon. The only people who knew of them were those also in the Investigation Department. If they left the department due to any reason, they would be obliviated of their memory of (Y/N) and Victoria.
•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•
Another report was finalized and another dark wizard in Azkaban. In celebration, Victoria had convinced (Y/N) to go out to a pub with her. Coincidentally, the muggle world was celebrating a victory of their own.
At the pub, (Y/N) and Victoria was sitting at the bar, both on their second glass of Sidecar cocktail. Their work clothes were more wrinkled than usual as they relaxed on the stools.
The place was hot (despite it being winter), loud, and reeked of perfume and alcohol. People were celebrating the victory of “The War to End All Wars”. Men in uniforms were all around. Some were at home with loved ones. Others were kissing random strangers at the pub or hanging around with their mates. Then there were a couple of groups raising a glass to their fallen comrades.
“I’m headed to the restroom. You coming?” Victoria asked after finishing her glass.
(Y/N) swished her drink in her glass. “I’m good. I’ll wait here for you.”
Victoria nodded, “Alright, dear. Remember no boys, and if one won’t leave you alone- hex him or punch him.”
(Y/N) gave her a look.
Victoria laughed. “Be alert.” She said before leaving.
She nodded, “I will, Vi. I always am.” (Y/N) let out a sigh as she watched Victoria walk towards the restroom.
Her train of thought started with work but soon drifted to Newt. Over the years, she and Newt continued to stay in touch. Since she graduated, Newt had served on the Eastern Front- not in the war, no. He was there to wrangle some Ukrainian Ironbellys. That year, Augustus Worme commissioned him to write a book about magical creatures.
“Of course he took the job. It’s the perfect job for him…” She mumbled before taking another sip.
If there was anything (Y/N) wanted to do right now, it would be to go home. Being at a pub wasn’t her thing- neither was it Victoria’s, but she let it slide this time. ‘To whatever God or higher celestial being up there, please keep Newt safe.’ She thought, staring at the remaining liquid.
“Hey, what’s a pretty little lady like you doing in a place like this all by herself?” A male voice cooed as he sat on the barstool to her left.
Snapping out of her thoughts, (Y/N) turned to face a man in uniform. He had short blonde hair (but if it were any longer, it would break regulation) and light brown eyes. Attractive? Yes. Her type? Definitely not.
“I’m not here by myself,” (Y/N) eyed the single chevron patch sewn on the upper half of his uniform’s sleeve. “-Private.” She said before meeting his gaze. “I’m here with a friend.”
“Private Keaton Williams.” He said as he took one of her hands in his, bringing it up to kiss her knuckles.
‘Merlin’s beard. Where’s Victoria?’ She thought as she saw the satisfaction on his face. (Y/N) slowly retracted her hand, holding it close to her chest.
“Thank you, Private- er, Williams. But I should be looking for my friend.” She said, getting ready to stand.
He held onto her wrist, preventing her from leaving. “Come on. We both know it’s a lie. You’re not really here with anyone.” Keaton teased.
She tried to think of a way to turn him down. She couldn’t hex him- he was a muggle. There were rules about using magic in the presence of muggles! And she couldn’t punch him. How could she punch a man who had fought for the country she called home?
“She’s with me.” said another male’s voice. This time, it came from behind her.
Keaton looked past (Y/N) to see another man in uniform. “Oh wow. I’m another bloke in a uniform. What makes you so special?” He mocked.
“I don’t condone men flaunting their uniform as a way to catch a woman’s heart.” The one behind her replied. “I’ve dealt with idiots like him. Play along.” He whispered in her ear. (Y/N) nodded, before taking back her wrist.
“I know how to get what I want 's all,” Keaton boasted, then turned his attention back to (Y/N). “Let’s go, love. Let this soldier show you a good time.”
(Y/N) turned to get a look at her savior. Oh great. Yet she stared for a second longer- he looked so familiar.
Shaking her head from her thoughts, she leaned into his chest. “I’m sorry, Private Williams. You had no chance from the start. This soldier had already caught my attention.”
The man looked shocked for a split second before playing along with her little skit. “Ah yes. I’m glad I was able to return home to the love of my life all in one piece.” He said before wrapping an arm around (Y/N)’s shoulder.
She blushed. ‘Love of his life? No- stop it. It’s a ruse.’
Keaton looked at the other, eyeing his rank. “What’s a Sergeant got that I don’t?”
The man shifted, a crimson ribbon pinned to the pocket flap of his left breast pocket revealing itself. “I have the right mind to back off when a woman says no.”
Keaton looked again, seeing the ribbon, and gasped. The Victoria Cross Award. “Y-You’re him. T-That Theseus guy… The War Hero.”
Theseus. The name of her saviour was revealed!
Theseus rolled his eyes. “It’s Sergeant to you. Now scram before I report you to your commanding officer.”
“Y-Yes Sergeant,” Keaton said before walking away from the pair.
(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief as she relaxed her shoulders. “Thank you… Theseus, was it?”
Theseus hummed in agreement, removing his arm from her shoulder. “It’s no problem…” He trailed off, running his hand through his hair.
She turned in her chair to face him. His hair now slightly messed up due to his recent action. His uniform suited him- good and squared away. But his face. It was so damn familiar. It was as if she’d seen those blue eyes somewhere before.
“Uh… Like what you see?” Theseus joked.
(Y/N) blushed. “I-I didn’t mean to stare…” A small pause before sticking her hand out, “I’m (Y/N).”
Theseus gently took her hand, bringing it to his lips, and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “Theseus. Charmed to meet you.”
‘Did… Did he just…?’ (Y/N) giggled, taking her hand back and interlocking her fingers together. “So what’s a wizard like you serving in the military?”
He sighed, sitting on the seat that was once Victoria’s, “The military part was a cover-up to get me on the front lines. Even if the muggles were at war, that didn’t mean dark wizards would stop their heinous crimes. I was working double time. A field agent for the Ministry and a Sergeant for the British Armed Forces.”
(Y/N) nodded. “Thank you for your service… For our world and theirs.” She smiled at him.
The silence was deafening between them, but it wasn’t awkward in any way. It was more comforting.
(Y/N) brought herself to look at his eyes again, her pupils dilating. His eyes made her heart swell with love- the type of love she reserved only for Newt. Though, she couldn’t help but spill a little bit of that to Theseus. Love at first sight?
Theseus returned the smile. How could someone, let alone a stranger he met, be this beautiful? His mind drifted to a small montage of made-up scenarios. He could see a growing relationship with her- a family even. Would his mother approve? Would Newt approve? She’d make a great addition to the Scamander family.
“Sorry I took too long. Ready to- Merlin, (Y/N)! I leave for five minutes!” Victoria’s voice yelled from behind Theseus.
“Sorry about that.” (Y/N) mumbled.
He turned in his seat to face Victoria. “I-I’m sure you’d like an explanation, but first, hello.” He stuttered.
(Y/N) emerged from behind him, walking over to her friend. “Vi! This is Theseus. Theseus this is my best friend, Victoria.”
‘He looks so familiar. I’ve seen his face somewhere before.’ Victoria thought.
•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•
On Theseus and (Y/N)’s first date, they went to a coffee shop.
“So you’re part of the law enforcement? Are you sure you retired from your military work?” She joked.
Theseus chuckled softly before sipping on his tea- he was never a coffee person. “First, yes. I’m retired. And yes, I work within law enforcement. I’m what you call “well respected”. And what about you, love?”
She blushed. “I work in the field then do some paperwork. That’s all. Nothing that special.”
“Hm…” He thought for a moment before an idea popped into his head. “Ever thought about working for the Ministry? They could use a couple of recruits in the Auror Department. I’m sure Victoria would join as well. Training is only about three years and with your skills, I’m sure you two would be a great Aurors.”
(Y/N) smiled before sipping on her cup of coffee. ‘Only if you knew…’
~*~*~
For their next date, they went out for a walk in the park. It was cold out, so they wore their long coats and their house scarves.
“No way! You were a Hufflepuff? I thought you were a Gryffindor!” (Y/N) exclaimed as he neared their meeting spot.
Theseus smiled, “Well, hello to you too.” He then stood in front of her, ruffling her hair. “Well then, Little Miss Ravenclaw, aren’t you full of surprises?” He teased.
She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “What house did you think I was in…?”
He gestured to his Hufflepuff scarf.
“If the Sorting Hat sorted me again, I’m pretty sure I’d be in Hufflepuff. If Victoria got sorted again… She’d definitely be a Slytherin.”
“Then again, you’re the feistiest Ravenclaw I’ve ever met.” Theseus teased, poking her cheek softly.
(Y/N) swatted his hand away from her face, “W-Well you’re the cockiest Hufflepuff I’ve ever met.
~*~*~
The third time they went out, they went to a fancy restaurant.
“Theseus… Where are we going?” She asked as they walked hand in hand.
“Somewhere special. I’ve been dying to take you out here for months.”
“Oh?” She asked. “What did I do to deserve this?”
He smiled as they turned the corner. “Ah, here we are!”
(Y/N) looked at the building and gasped. “Theseus… The Ritz?! This must've cost you a fortune!”
He kissed her cheek, “Anything for you.”
~*~*~
Then came their fourth date. Theseus had decided on that night, he’d make their relationship official. He would’ve done it sooner, but he’d only met her a year ago. He wanted time to get to know her and make sure it wasn’t an impulse decision. To his surprise, she agreed. So after a year-long wait, he took his chance. Nothing to lose… right?
After dinner, they decided to take a walk in the park. A last-minute plan she was not dressed for.
“You know, despite its kleptomania for shiny things, I always wanted a Niffler. They’re such interesting creatures.” She admitted.
Theseus chuckled- a sound that was now music to (Y/N)’s ears. “You sound like my brother. He’s into all that care of magical creatures stuff. Me? Not so much.”
She hummed, “I’d like to meet your brother sometime…”
“I’ll set up a date for all us to have tea when he comes back from his travels.”
“C-Can’t wait!” She stuttered as she rubbed her upper arms for warmth.
He noticed this and nonchalantly removed his coat. He draped it over her shoulders, “Sorry. It’s my fault you’re cold.”
She held the lapels of his coat, “But now you’ll get cold!”
“It looks better on you than it did me.” He gave her a playful wink.
(Y/N) gasped as she remembered a moment like that. All those years ago at Hogwarts- with Newt. Though she dismissed the thoughts of her first love. Newt wasn’t there with her. Theseus was. Newt hadn’t taken her out on those wonderful dates. Theseus had. Newt didn’t love her. Theseus did- or so she hoped.
Theseus had stopped them in front of a water fountain. The sound of trickling water and the echoes of the city filled the silence. He shoved his hands into his pockets. Were his hands always this sweaty? He took a deep breath and exhaled. It was now or never.
“Theseus, darling, A-Are you alright?” She asked, one of her hands cupping his cheek.
He hummed and leaned into her touch. Despite the cold, her hand was radiating so much warmth. He looked at her lovingly, “Yes, dear. Everything is fine.”
“(Y/N)… During my Hogwarts years, I never gave dating a second thought. And after I graduated, I immediately started working for the Ministry. Then I got sent to war. Merlin- I never want to step foot in a muggle war ever again.” He paused to make sure she was paying attention.
Her hand returned to the warmth of his coat. She nodded, giving him the okay to continue.
“And when I returned home, I was so set on returning to my duties at the Ministry. Then I met you. You wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman. I couldn’t believe that I caught your attention. I know I’m rambling and your feet must be in pain for standing for so long, so let me ask you this.” He paused for a second. “Will you allow me to date you properly? To make this- us, official?”
(Y/N) smiled. “Theseus… I never thought you’d ask. I’d love to be your girlfriend.”
Full of joy, Theseus wrapped his arms around her and spun around. Their laughs mixed, composing a duet that harmonized with each other perfectly.
When he set her down, she sighed in content. “Oh, Theseus…”
He cupped her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. “Can… Can I kiss you?”
She nodded. “Yes-”
He cut her response short, closing the gap between their lips.
•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•
The New Year’s season came to pass and it was the start of the 1920s. Victoria and (Y/N) transferred to the Aurors Department. Effective immediately. They loved the Investigation Department and everyone there. Must've been something serious if their transfer was immediate.
Little did they know, Theseus was the Head of the Auror department.
On the way to the meeting room, (Y/N) was ranting about the sudden change. Victoria was saying her thoughts about the matter but listened to her friend’s distress. They walked past an office and Victoria caught the nameplate on the door that read “Theseus Scamander”
Scamander? Oh-
Before Victoria could ask questions, they had gotten to the meeting room. There were other Aurors in the department. Everyone there knew each other, so Victoria and (Y/N) were the “newbies”.
Victoria turned to (Y/N), “Hey… You know that boyfriend of yours, did you by any chance get his last name?” She whispered.
(Y/N) shrugged, “No. I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Well, let me tell you-”
The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Torquil Travers, entered the room from the back entrance. “Fellow Aurors! As you all know, Grindelwald is gathering up recruits for his “For the Greater Good” revolution. All of you are here today to form up a special task force in bringing him and his organization down. Leading you in this endeavor is the new Head of Auror Office and retired War Hero, Theseus Scamander.”
A round of applause erupted, welcoming the new Head of Auror Office.
Turning towards Travers, Victoria clapped along. “I’m sure it’s not your Theseus-”
“Oh shit.” (Y/N) cursed as she saw her beloved walk through the doors.
Theseus nodded as he walked towards his new task force.
Travers patted his back, “You’ll need to choose an assistant and a communications liaison, but take your time.”
Theseus scanned the room. He knew all of the people, some he trusted, and some he didn’t. Then he saw a pair he knew all too well- but he only saw them outside of work- (Y/N) and Victoria.
(Y/N) gave a shy smile, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Victoria smirked, “You’re screwed.”
As the applause died down, Theseus announced, “I’ve already chosen the people for the positions. For my assistant, I’ll be having Miss (Y/N) (L/N).”
She blushed as she felt everyone’s eyes on her. Though slightly confused, the other Aurors in the room applauded.
Victoria leaned down again, “Try not to make too much noise in his office, eh?”
(Y/N) opened her mouth to gasp, but nothing came out. “I would never!”
“And my Communications Liaison will be Miss Victoria Howard.”
(Y/N) nudged her friend, “You’re stuck with us now.”
Victoria laughed nervously, waving at everyone. “Brilliant…”
~*~*~
The three of them were in Theseus’ office. (Y/N) was pacing back and forth as Theseus was sitting at his desk and Victoria leaning against the bookshelf.
“Why me? Why another Scamander?” She groaned in agony. “How did I not know!” She muttered.
“Love, what’s the problem?” Theseus asked, slightly worried.
“You wouldn’t by any chance have a brother would you?” Victoria asked, looking at him.
“Yeah.” He replied, his attention still towards (Y/N), who was still pacing back and forth.
“About this tall?” She said, extending her arm to its highest point.
“Around there.”
“Loves magical creatures?” She asked, now crossing her arms over her chest.
“More than life itself.”
“Got expelled from Hogwarts in his sixth year?”
“Yes. Wait, how did you-”
“I figured.” She gave a curt nod before looking at her distressed friend. “Honey, you need to calm down.”
(Y/N) stopped in her tracks and faced Victoria. Her eyes were on the verge of tears.
Victoria's expression softened as she shoved aside the blunt responses she had prepared in her mind. “Hey… Come here…” She cooed as she walked over to her with arms wide open.
(Y/N) quickly ran into Victoria’s embrace, letting the tears fall. She mumbled something into her shoulder.
“What was that, dear?” She asked softly.
(Y/N) pulled away, “I said, what am I going to tell Newt? I’ve told him that I recently got a boyfriend. How is he going to react when it’s his brother?”
Victoria rolled her eyes. “What’s it to him? He’s your best friend.” She said, emphasizing the fact that Newt was just her friend. “If it’s his brother or not, who you date is not his business.”
Theseus stood from his seat and walked over to the pair. “If it makes you feel better, we can invite him over for tea and tell him.”
(Y/N) moves from Victoria’s arms and walks over to Theseus. “I… I think I’d like that.”
•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•
Despite Theseus and (Y/N)’s relationship, they never let it get in the way of their work. (Y/N) had the same workload and deadlines as the others in the task force.
Victoria was still expected to represent the Ministry’s Auror department, write news releases, and coordinate the distribution of information along with her fieldwork.
Theseus randomly assigned partners in every stakeout or raid- mostly because he’d feel like he’d protect the hell out of (Y/N) if she was paired up with him all the time. (Y/N) was capable, and he knew that.
Though there are sometimes where one of them got hurt and the other can’t help but care for them.
(Y/N) had made Theseus take off his blazer and rolled up the sleeve of his left arm. Blood dripped from the wound caused by one of Grindelwald’s recruits. She sat on a short stool with a bucket of warm water off to the side, just within arms reach.
Theseus slouched in the chair, flinching at the slightest touches (Y/N) made with the towel. She had wiped off all the dried blood surrounding the wound. Then she started dabbing the towel ever so gently on top of it. The towel was damp and warm, but it didn’t make the pain any softer.
He grimaced as he inhaled sharply, jerking his arm away from her.
“I need to clean your wound, love” (Y/N) said, reaching over to where he moved his arm.
“But (Y/N) it hurts!” He whined.
“You’re being childish.” She replied.
“W-Well you’re not the one on the receiving end!”
“Honey, you were a soldier. I’m sure you’ve dealt with more serious wounds than this…”
“That’s because I didn’t have someone as cute as you cleaning me up.”
“Flattery won’t get your wound cleaned up.”
“Can’t you just use a spell?”
“Unlike most wizards, I like to do some things without the use of magic.”
He huffed childishly, not looking at her.
“If you didn’t move, it wouldn’t hurt as much.”
Theseus grumbled, still moving his arm away.
“Theseus Scamander, hold still or so help me I will hex you!”
“I thought we didn’t allow magic in the bedroom~” He teased.
“Theseus! We’re at work!”
•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•
After months of asking and asking, Theseus had finally convinced Newt to come and visit him- to finally meet his girlfriend. (Y/N) had already decided on the tea so they were waiting for Newt to arrive.
As they waited, Theseus was looking over some reports as (Y/N) was leaning on his bookshelf, doing some light reading.
He sighed, setting the papers in his hand back down on his desk. Glancing over to (Y/N), he smiled, ‘She’s beautiful even when she’s reading…’
Theseus looked at her ensemble. A white long-sleeved button-up, a grey vest with a matching blazer, and dress pants. He looked at his suit- the same color scheme. Were they always matching?
He looked at her again and noticed that this time, she wore a tie with her suit, but not just any tie. A yellow and black tie- His Hufflepuff tie. Theseus smiled, “Hey (L/N), nice tie.”
(Y/N) nodded, turning the page of her book. “Yeah? I put it on this morning.” She said nonchalantly.
Theseus stood and made his way over. When he stood in front of her, he took the book from her hands and set it to the side. “Where’d you get it?”
She looked up at him. Was he always this tall? “Hogwarts. From when I went there. Duh.”
“Really? Because I remember you telling me that you were a Ravenclaw,” He said untucking the tie from under her vest. “This is clearly a Hufflepuff tie.” He held up the end of the tie in her line of view.
(Y/N) gasped. “I swear, it was an honest mistake!”
“Hmm…” He trailed off. “I kind of like seeing you in my ties. It’s cute.” He said, leaning in close.
“Thes… We’re at work… A-And your brother could walk in any minute-”
His fingers slid up the material, finally wrapping around the knot. “Yeah… But I haven’t kissed you since we left my flat…” He whispered, tugging softly as if to bring her closer.
She could feel herself leaning in close. Her lip mere millimeters away-
“Here we are! Head of Aurors Office!” Victoria said, opening the door to Theseus’ office. She and Newt walked in.
(Y/N) quickly pushed Theseus away, shoving the tie back under her vest.
“Newt!” (Y/N) exclaimed, shoving herself off the bookshelf.
“Brother!” Theseus said happily as he walked over to Newt.
There, Newt stood in a nice suit, a mustard yellow vest, and a blue overcoat. In his hand was a suitcase. The enchanted suitcase that (Y/N) had read so much about in his letters.
“Wait, when you told me in your letter that you had a boyfriend, you never told me it was my brother,” Newt said, slightly hurt.
“We meant to tell you!” Theseus said defensively.
“When? When I catch you almost snogging each other?” Newt retorted, glaring at his brother
“No! It would be over tea! Which we would be having right now…” She pouted.
“I think… I think I’d like a rain check on that…” He said as he started to back away.
“Newt! Don’t do this!” Victoria pleaded.
He finally turned around and walked to the door. When he got there, he stopped in Victoria’s line of view. Newt didn’t face her. He looked straight ahead, grip tightening on the handle of his case. “You knew and didn’t tell me?” Newt asked bitterly.
Victoria placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. She opened her mouth to say something and for once, she didn’t have a blunt response or snarky remark. “It wasn’t my position to say…”
Newt scoffed. “It would’ve been nice to know beforehand,” He said before shoving her hand off and walking away from Theseus’ office. Away from his brother. Away from his friend. Away from her. Newt hadn’t seen then in so long and now that he had the chance… He just left…?
(Y/N) quickly ran after him, “Newt, wait!”
Victoria leaned against the door frame, banging the back of her head against the wood. “It’s always a Scamander…”
Theseus looked at Victoria. “Did… Did they have something?”
Victoria sighed, stopping from her current action to look at Theseus. “It’s not my position to say…”
~*~*~
In the hallway, (Y/N) finally caught up to Newt. She held onto the material of his sleeve.
“Back there,” She panted. “What was that about?”
“You… You’re dating my brother?” He asked. Stupid question, but he needed to hear it again to make sure he wasn’t imagining it.
“Yeah, what’s it to you?” (Y/N) said, but her tone made it sound rude.
“Didn’t think he’d be your type…” Newt mumbled.
“And you know what my type is?” She replied, slightly offended.
“I…” Newt paused. ‘I was hoping that it’d be me.’ He thought.
(Y/N) sighed, finally letting go of his sleeve. “Look, you’re my best friend and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’ll admit that it was my fault, but I don’t want to lose you just because I’m dating your brother. I-”
“What?” Newt interrupted. “One Scamander isn’t enough? You need both of us in your life, do you? Why do you need me? You already have Theseus wrapped around your fingers.” He snapped.
“What is up with you, Newton?” She groaned in frustration. “You know what? Now is not the time. I’ll give you all the time and space you need. When you’re ready to talk about this, I’m only an owl away.” She turned to leave, but not before saying something that made Newt realize how he felt about his best friend.
“Just know that before Theseus,” She paused. “It was always you.”
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cartoonfangirl1218 · 4 years ago
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Give them what they want ch. 3
Dina and her's relationship ended just as she had predicted. There was screaming, there was crying, she was a "selfish, lying, heartless bitch" blah blah blah nothing new.
So to end up in bed with a new girl a week later was just as sign of how "heartbroken" Dina was, Jordan was glad that she turned the limo she gave her into a python.
"I loved you for you looks and for you, yeah right." Jordan snorted
"What?" Calix mumbled next to her. His bare chest warmly pressing into her side.
Oh yes, Calix who was in bed next to her. There was an explanation from that. This wasn't some petty, "If that's how she wants to play it. Here is a quick rebound thing." She and Circe's son, Calix were just friends.
Friends with major benefits.
"Nothing, go to sleep." Jordan murmured, brushing her hands through his hair.
She figured that since any romantic relationships were going to go down to hell, she might as well give up. But her few friendships that did survive, the terms of friendship could change.
Calix and her had been friends since they were 4 and 5 respectively when their parents were going around Auradon singing and performing. He was one of the few people she trusted who wasn't "family." They fought, they had adventures, and they kissed more times either could count. Sure, some of them was for acting, but some was just for fun, in the moment type. He even lost his virginity to her. Even better, he had no interests in her wishes. He knew well enough by now, that she would send a sandstorm at him and use all manners of misinterpretations. Most ending badly.
Aziz and others had teased that they should just get married already because of the "clear, sexual tension" but that would be a disaster. No matter how much sexual tension, they couldn't see each other beyond a friendly fling and even then, they would try to kill each other for being so annoying.
Calix was many things. Charming, chivalrous, hot bare chested, bare back, clever, witty but also equally arrogant, annoying sense of humor, impulsive pervert who's quarter siren powers made him think he was hot stuff. Which was true...but still.
So because and in spite of all those traits, he was a perfect candidate for being a friend wth benefits. They sorta already did that but randomly. They never made it official or had a talk. But now they were.
It was actually fun. Since it was winter break, Circe allowed Calix to guest room at Agrabah so she could see him all the time. They, plus Aziz and other local teens would hang around for the day at the beach or bazaar. During the night, she would be with Calix. They would talk before, and after and during about all manner of subjects. Simply as friends. Like they hadn't slept with each other just hours before. She almost wished she did this earlier. Being with him was so comfortable and easy and she didn't worry about him trying to use her.
He would insult her first. He was always making comments about her and her ego. No need to try to impress her. And she would do likewise. It was a friendship, what else was there to do but snipe at each other?
It had all been fun and games until lart week.
She almost didn't noticed, but as she was choosing her outfit for the day she was starting to wonder what she should wear to impress Calix. Moreover what Calix was wearing right now. She hoped it was something cute for their date at the beach.
Full stop.
Date at the beach! She couldn't believe she thought that. They were just hanging out at the beach. They always hung out at the beach, it wasn't a date.
From then on she noticed how her thoughts started to get more preoccupied with Calix and how amazing he was, how funny he was, how utterly adorable is dimples were whenever he smirked.
Yes, she was falling in love. Dammit! She had a freakin friend with benefits who had no interests in her wishes, and their relationship was going perfectly well because of the vital FRIENDS part and she was falling in love with him!
"Stop being such a girl, Jordan" she thought to herself, "You do not love him. You just lust for him. Yes, it's just lust. All the sex and lack of romance is confusing you."
After all, he was still Calix. If she loved him, she should have realized ages ago. They've been friends with benefits before and these feelings never came up. She had to review everything she had said to Aziz on why it was bad to have a relationship with him.
1. They would kill each other.
Well she could kill him which gave her such an advantage. And end in jail for the next 20 odd years.
He was still arrogant, and teased her and flirted with every other girl in the world because they were just friends. They didn't think each other that way. She had even encouraged him a few times.
"But he is also sweet when he wants to be. And you know him so well. Isn't knowing each other the first step." A tiny teasing pro-Calix voice told her.
No. She was not going to ruin a perfectly good friendship. She could see all his good points for now. But once she went back to Auradon she would realize how incredible stupid it was and laugh.
Thr following days had been a combination of fun and torture. Fun at their usual inside jokes and antics and clubbing. Torture that her pro-Calix voice kept interpreting things as a romantic act and her need to blurt out that she wanted to date him and be next to him and cuddle with him and be loved.
One perfect Wednesday afternoon before dinner, Calix met her at the bathhouse.
"Jordan can we talk?" He asked
Jordan perked and almost sighed with relief. Maybe..just maybe he realized it too. Maybe he was having lust/love confusions and they could talk. Or maybe he actually did love her and she could go do it and have dates and be with someone who totally cared for he and knew all her habits...
"I have a date." Calix said
A date. The doom of friends with benefits. A date signaled the end of the benefits until single because they seriously wanted to pursue someone else.
"Who's the lady?" Jordan plastered a fake smile.
"Morrían, Morgaine Le Fey's daughter." Calix beamed
"Oooo so ultimate sourcer couple." Jordan replied. She ignored the rest of what he was saying. He found a date. She would be all alone tonight. Once again.
During dinner she tried to stay in the conversation but all she had to listen was to Aziz and Calix converse about Morrían's hotness and cleverness and how lucky he was that Calix's got a date with her.
She should have expected it. They were friends with benefits. She had been telling herself that he would never see her beyond a friend. She had been telling herself that she just was being desperate and needy.
Once she got to her lap, she flung herself on her bed.
Why wasn't Calix satisfied with their arrangement? If she could see how great he was beyond the sex, couldn't he?
What did Morrían have that she didn't? She was hot. She thought she was witty.
Or maybe...A familiar thought came up. There was nothing great about her beyond wishes, and apparently sex.
There was some great character flaw that everyone could see but her. Something so fundamentally unlovable and horrible that even her friend wouldn't fall mistakenly in love with her like she had for him?
What was wrong with her?
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fihznzqli · 5 years ago
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Ursa Major - Part Of My Charm
Chapter 1 - Chosen
A/N
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and Disney owns it.
However, I do own a few OCs in this story.
The story takes place after
Weirdmageddon 3 (Gravity Falls Epilogue).
This story is going to need a lot of work and a lot of research. But all I need is your approval and praise for this story.
______________________________
The sounds of boots can be heard across a very hall of a greek-like temple. A young girl, about 13 years of age, who's face cannot be seen under her white hood with blue accents that goes all the way to the cuffs of her long sleved yet comfortably body suit she was wearing but only strands of her black hair can be seen in front of her face.
She inhales and exhales deeply as she struggled to keep a steady breath. Her eyes shows anxiety and excitement by the impossible news she has.
Something has happened in Earth, something has happened. The oracles can see it. She need to find the Malco-
"Maya? What's the rush?"
She hears a familiar voice behind as she looks over to her shoulder and a tall man in his thirties wearing a white smog mask with noticable yellow glow brewing in one of the mask's outline , wearing silver pauldrons on his shoulders with a yellow accent running down each side and underneath is avery tight metallic body suit that hugs his body very well. He wears a waist guard that has an emblem shape like a unicorn and silver legplates.
He steps closer and looks at the girls face, Concerned, he kneels down to the girl's level, holding her shoulders in comfort. He knows something is up.
"Maya. Whats going on?" he asked.
His face of concern slowly turns into confusion as he sees her slightly smiling with excitement.
"Malcolm! Oh my god! Oh my god! Your not gonna belive this! You see I was visting one of the watchtowers and one of the watchers came to me and said a new constellation has been chosen. And your not gonna believe this, it's finally back." She rambles in a slight Russian accent. She jumped in excitement and breathing for air as she tried to form a few words or sentences from her mouth, because of running about 3 miles to get to this place to tell the General about the incredible news. She couldn't believe it herself.
She had heard of the legends, the myths, their stories, their fights, their adventures. She admired them even if she has a different mark and path but they were once one of the amazing constellations of all time.
She had never expected to be this excited. But after 100 years of its absence and involvement after the Dark Ages, It finally chose someone. Whoever this is, might be as powerful as she hopes like in the stories.
"What? Who, Maya? What constellation?" Malcolm asked as he seems to be catching on to whatever the girl is saying. He has a pretty good idea... And he hoped it is true.
Maya looks up to his face with a grin.
"An Ursa Major has been chosen."
______________________________
"Maso- Dipper Pines?"
"Present"
It was 8:37 AM in the morning at school. Class for the past few days has been normal.
A little too normal for the Pines twins, Dipper and Mabel Pines.
They were sitting at the third row, bored and a little tired. Mabel covers her mouth with uer hand and let out a muffled yawn while Dipper is struggling to sit up straight and rubbing his eyes with bags underneath.
Everything went back to normal, in a bad way for them when they returned to Piedmont, California. Nothing has been the same since Weirdmageddon in Gravity Falls, Oregon. While it was a really bad memory to even forget, that town that they used to live during the summer, holds many good memories to them. 
Of course, they could always come back next time...
Dipper was copying the lesson written on the blackboard when he felt something hit his neck, something wet. Then he realizes and he frowns. Spitball... He looks behind to the direction where the projectile hit him and sees his childhood bully, Chad. Looking really innocent and looks at Dipper with eyeborws furrowed.
"You got a problem, Dipstick?" He sneered at Dipper with a smug grin plastered on his face. Dipper looks down under Chad's desk and sees him holding a straw. He turns his back to the board again, plucks the spitball and flicks it away from his reach.
"Psst!" he hears his sister from his side and whispers "Ignore him, don't let him get through your head" with a comforting smile, but soon turned into a frown when she shoots a glare at the bully who scoffs and rolls his eyes at her.
______________________________
Dipper stuffs most of his books in his locker and closes it. He sighs since today was horrible for him. Not for his sister, Thank God. Somehow, he's glad that no one bothers his sister but him. If anyone ever lays a hand or hurts Mabel's feelings, who nows what he'll do.
"Hey, bro-bro!"
Dipper turns his head to see his sister with a sheepish smile on her face.
"Could you tell Mom and Dad that I will be coming home late today? I have cheerleader practice later after school."
"What? But, we go home together... And why are their cheerleader practice after dismissal?" Dipper asked with a raised eyebrow. It was odd that they have practices after school.
"Oh don't worry, Dipper. It's only 2 hours. I'll be home right on time." Mabel reassuringly says to Dipper.
She was ecstatic when she joined cheerleading club of their school. Dipper, on the other hand joined the chess club.
Dipper sighs. "Ok, you can go practice. But Dad will come pick you up after that."
"And I will need your help on some of the homework. Thanks, Dipper. See back at home!" Mabel hugs her brother and runs off.
Dipper slungs his bag over his shoulder and walks outside to his father's car waiting for them. Well...for him actually.
As Dipper walks towards the car, thr front seat window rolled down to see Alex Pines, his father.
"Hey kiddo. Where's Mabel?" He looks over to Dipper's shoulder as if to see his daughter standing behind his son.
"Cheerleading practice."
"After school?" Alex asks.
"Eh. School's getting weird these days. But, she can handle herself. Trust me." Dipper says to his father as he open the car door and sat in the backseat.
Alex deeply sighs and turns his head to Dipper with his right arm resting on top of the front seat.
"Listen, I know that whatever happened in Gravity Falls, I hope it doesn't happen in here too. And I am concerned for both you and your sister's safety. I mean gnomes, flying eyeballs, manotaurs, time travelers, 'dream' dimensions? Things like them exist in our world? How is that even possible?"
Alex and his wife, Dana was very suspicious whenever they asked the twins about how was their summer, they were hesitant... But the only thing they told them was that Grunkle Stan had a twin brother and he came back after he went missing for two years.
It took an hour for them to close their mouths from the revelation that day. But completely shrugged it off later.
His own son was a lot like him when he was young, smart, curious, adventurous, and a nerd. But that didn't stop his future wife to marry him and have twins.
So like Dipper, he 'checked' Dipper's room one day and found a blue journal with golden accents   around the cover. He read it and it was filled with ripped pages, obviously not ripped from the book itself. It was old and written in black ink. He could've swore it was also written in blood...
Dipper came in later on, mouth gaping as he saw his dad holding the pages from his journal. A heated argument can be heard with Dipper shouting at his father for looking through his stuff and Alex, who is a little angry tried to apologise and tries to explain what he was doing. It's a good thing the two were alone, Mabel is with her mother, going shopping.
After the argument, Dipper calms down and sit nexts to his father in the bed as he tells him. He explains that Gravity Falls is a place where magic and monsters reside. He says it in a excited way, like he always does when it comes to solving mysteries.
Alex have had a hard time believing the things his son is saying that monsters and ghosts exist in real life. What is this... A Mystery novel now? He was also shocked to hear that Dipper and Mabel met Stanford Pines. Not the one who runs the Mystery Shack. But the real one who was stuck across the multiverse.
Does that mean that their Grunkle Stan, his Uncle Stan was not 'Stanford' but 'Stanley'? The other twin who faked a car crash?
He thinks he might have a heart attack.
Then Dipper told him that they stopped the end of the world by a flying dorito demon thing.
He doesn't know if he should be worried or proud, he probably prefers the latter. This will take a long time getting used to. But he trusts Dipper's choices, as long as he doesn't get any trouble. He promises to keep this a secret from her wife. Knowing she will freak out and become overprotective to her little angels. He told her daughter that he knows and has nothing to be worried about.
"Dad look, We're fine. Me and Mabel have fought gnomes, haunted wax sculptures and tiny golf people. But we're still in  good shape. We can handle ourselves. We are still your kids but you don't have to worry about us." Dipper comforts his dad while he scratches his birthmark on his forehead under his hat that Wendy gave as a farewell.
His dad sighs and says "Ok, But, please be careful. And protect your sister. For my sake-" He looks at Dipper who was scratching very loudly, he can hear the scraping it makes. It is really cringey
"-And stop scratching your head. You'll probably get rashes on that."
"Sorry, My head feels itchy just now. This never happened before." Dipper says that as he continues to scratch his forehead.
"Well, you'll only make it worse. Your mother probably has some skin treatment. Ask her." Alex starts up the car and drives away from the school.
Dipper asks "You'll pick up Mabel later, right?"
"Of course, what time will her practice be over?"
______________________________
"I thought you were one of the most powerful entities of this multiverse. Have you lost your fucking mind?!" A man with gruff voice shouted at someone.
The man was about in his forties, who looks like he's Midwestern, is very large, has a well shaven head and a bushy beard and a small scar across his left eye. He was wearing armor similar to the armors from the gladiators in Greece, but it's color are charcoal black and has magma flowing in his armor's accents. He is like a living volcana.
He has two large pistols that resemble deagles but almost has the same design as his armor.
Beside him was a small man, about as tall as his shoulder height. He was blonde and has noticeable stubble in his face. And he looks to be Australian. He iswearing a green scaly tabard instead but with armor leggings. He wears gauntlets in his arms, and it has a noticable blade inside it.
They were talking to a giant white lizard who was actually one of the powerful entities known as the Axolotl.
"I am aware of what you're feeling right now. But, he needs to be helped. He is troubled, he always has been. All those stories are merely stories only for everyone to see him as a threat." The Axolotl states in a very deep voice that can be heard a mile away.
"As much as I have a hard time believing that, Why did you want us take care of this bastard? And couldn't you at least ask other blokes to bring his sorry arse with them?" The small man crosses his arms and narrows at the Axolotl. Waiting for a good reason why they we're brought here.
"Isn't that what you Constellations do? Protect the Earth and its inhabitants, prevent any disasters, and contain dangers?.. like him?" The reptile says as if it was the most obvious thing.
"That is true. But why would you think that he would be redeemable? He destroyed his home and entire family. And just because he invoked your name that doesn't mea-" The large man was suddenly cut off by the reptile's action.
Axolotl stomps in front of the two and stares at them. Almost looks like he's glaring at them.
"I see him as just a troubled child who was manipulated into doing those horrible things. I was upset that he has had the nerve to invoke my name and bring him out of death's grasp. But I sense that he deserves a second chance if you guide him through your path. He will not be like you, but he will fight on the same side." Axolotl states in his booming voice at the two.
The two men looked at each other for confirmation, until they both decided and looked back at the Axolotl.
"Fine, bring the wanker in. Before we change our minds." The small man narrowed his eyes to the reptile.
He nods and opens his mouth to shoot a beam in front of them. A small blob can be seen in the beam and is forming into the shape of a triangle with arms and legs a top hat hovering on its head. It suddenly screams, like its being burnt to death. It quickly reforms and turned into human male body. Black and yellow fabric wraps around him and creates clothing around him with his top hat still intact on his head.
The beam then slowly disspears, and the person or thing flops to the ground, groaning.
He then he sits up and sees the two men who was glaring at him, arms crossed. He stiffens when he looks at and turns back to see the Axolotl.
Oh boy...
"You know, when I invoked your name and asked to be return to the living. I never expected living with these hippies" Bill Cipher narrows his eyes at the reptile, who merely shrugs with his arms. Bill scoffs and felt a hand grabbing his suit tightly.
"Hey watch it, Scorpio! I just got my clothes back."
"Shut up, you twat." Scorpio shots back.
Bill then looks at the large man with a raised eyebrow.
"What're you supposed to be? An Aries? Thought you guys would be bigger."
That earned him a black eye.
______________________________
A/N
Wow! This took like 2 days to write. I'm completely new to writing but I'm getting pretty good here. I hope you all enjoy this book. More chapters will come out randomly. Sorry it's not scheduled. I'll try to formulate on how the story progress.
7/14/19: Completely changed the entire chapter for improvement... I hope this is way better.
I hope you all enjoyed reading and I'll see you guys next time. PEACE!
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dtownsuga · 6 years ago
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namjoon?
composer! namjoon x writer! y/n
genre; fluff, angst, hanahaki! au; words: 2.6k
warning; lots of petals, character death.
sad. yes. sad // all stories will be told through the boy’s pov.
previous — jungkook?
next — yoongi?
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“Do you still love her?”
“Never have I not,” i chuckled.
——
She comfortably placed her legs on my stomach as she bit on the end of the pencil while her hand busy tearing yet another piece of paper from her writing book. We have stayed inside my studio for the last three days, surviving with probably 10 packs of instant noodles each, and lying on the couch had been a routine for the last three days.
It’s that time of the year where I couldn’t break down my thoughts into lyrics, lyrics into melodies. It’s the same for her, I guess, or probably worse.
“Stop laughing at me,” she raised her legs and abruptly landed it on my stomach again.
“Yah! My stomach,” her smirk didn’t change no matter how frustrated she was. It was yet another quiet moment. I managed to write down one part of the song, I might use it later, still better than having nothing at all for the last three days.
“Monie,” that’s how she called me, never with my real name. She also called the rest of the boys with their stage names instead of their given names.
“You want food?” I tried to stand up, knowing that she probably wanted something from the kitchen and was too lazy to grab it herself. But the weight of her legs on my stomach tell me to not.
“Not that, silly. You thought my life only revolve around food?”
“That’s what you told me, like yesterday?”
“Forget about that. I have question to ask.”
“I’m all ears.”
“How, how do you compose songs?” It was a question I never thought she would bother asking. We have been friends for as long as I remember and never had she has any interest on what I’m doing.
“How do I compose songs?” she nodded her head, waiting eagerly for my answer. “I don’t know, but isn’t it just like you? How do you write a book?”
“I mean. I got 200 pages to tell my reader what I wanted them to know, but you, you have only 5 minutes. How do you manage to tell them the story?”
I really have never thought about this, and I didn’t know what to answer her. So, the best that I could tell her is, “experience, and lots of writing.” It was partly true, partly not, but I couldn’t find what’s the part that seems missing from my answer.
“I’ll leave now. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she suddenly said, packing all her stuffs and left. Does my answer annoyed her or something?
🐨: text me when you’re back at your apartment, stoopid.
y/n: stop calling me stupid, and i won’t
🐨: don’t text when you’re driving.
y/n: but you texted me(つД`)ノ
🐨: call you later.
I didn’t move an inch from the couch after she left. I looked at all the crumpled paper on my studio’s floor; this girl, I thought.
🐨: bring back your papers with you next time.
“Hyung?” I heard Jimin’s voice from behind the door.
“Come in, Jimin,” I told him and the door was opened, revealing the younger one in blue hair. I still haven’t gotten used to it; don’t get me wrong, it looks good on him.
“We’re going out for food tonight, you coming?”
“Why suddenly?”
“It’s on Jin hyung, he said he just feels like it.”
“Okay, I’ll see you guys on-“
“Seven,” and I nodded. “Y/n noona?” he continued after telling me the time.
“She left. Five minutes ago.”
I got ready and took my first decent bath after three days. I saw y/n’s used clothes on the bathroom counter, and there’s still faint smell of her soap. I checked my phone and still hasn’t received any reply from her.
🐨: bring back your clothes too, and your soap and shampoo.
The restaurant was so crowded. It’s a good thing Jin hyung made a reservation before. Hobi and I were talking to each other about the progress of his songs before Jimin pulled the tip of my sleeve to get my attention.
“Isn’t that y/n noona?” Jimin was pointing at a very familiar person. It was indeed y/n, still in my oversized hoodie I lent her before she left. I almost approached her before I realized she was sitting with another man on the other side of the table.
She is a grown up woman, Namjoon. What with her having a date? I enjoyed the dinner, with the thought of y/n and that man. And that night, I didn’t receive any reply message.
The next day when she came to my studio, she just barged in like nothing had happened. Well, nothing had happened for her.
“So, you’re alive.” I said, she clearly knew it’s a sarcasm.
“Where are you yesterday?”
“Can we talk later? I have something to tell you,” she placed her bag on my table, then taking out her writing book.
“I am not listening to anything before you tell me where you were yesterday. Why didn’t you reply to my message?”
“Why are you suddenly like this? I thought we were okay yesterday.”
“I- I just wanted to know.” she let out a sigh.
“I went back home. Passed out almost immediately on my bed.” A lie.
I couldn’t believe what I heard. Why would y/n, a person I’ve known for ages, a best friend of mine, would lie to me?
“So, can I tell you, what I want to tell you now, Monie? Since I answered you?”
“Yes, yes you can.” My brain still couldn’t process everything.
“I am leaving this week, for New York.” her words brought me back to reality. Leaving for new York, why?
“Why? Why will you leave?”
“I got things to do.”
“That’s the reason? That’s what you want me to believe in? Are you going with that man?”
“What man?”
“That man you meet in the restaurant yesterday!” I didn’t realize I raised my voice in front of her.
“Why do you-“ I felt like a child rebelling to his mother to buy him a toy. Why am I fighting the urge to cry? “Please leave, y/n. Please leave.”
“Monie, hey-“
“Don’t Monie me, fucking leave.”
“But-“
“I said leave!” I am sorry, y/n. You don’t deserve this but I didn’t know what to do. I am sorry. I see her left, slowly disappearing behind the door. Why didn’t you bring your thing with you, stupid.
Why am I crying? I should have listen to the things she wanted to tell me, but I told her to leave instead. It shouldn’t be like this, right? Is this how a lifetime friendship will end?
The moment I felt itch from my throat, and something blocking my air ways, I know what to expect next. A flower petal.
y/n: I will leave next week, I hope to see you on the airport.
y/n: mom misses you, you know. Come and visit her sometimes for me, will you?
y/n: hey, you’ll come tomorrow, right?
y/n: please come.
y/n: monie.
“Hyung, you look like you lost weight,” Jungkook told me.
“Isn’t it good then?”
“What Jungkook meant is that you looked dead, Namjoon.” Yoongi hyung, blunt as usual. I didn’t answer them any further.
“Y/n noona, she hasn’t been here for a while.” Jimin asked. The moment he asked about y/n, my throat started to itch more. “I wonder what she’s up to. Kookie, want to call her for movie?”
“Sounds good,” Jungkook took out his phone, and was about to call her before I stopped his action, “Y/n is leaving for New York in another 3 hours.” Everyone dropped their cutleries.
“Wait, why?”
“She told me she got things to do,” I continued eating.
“And why are you here, hyung? Aren’t noone your best friend? You should be in the airport.”
“You don’t get it, Jimin. It’s not that easy.”
“What’s not that easy? I don’t understand!” my fist hit the table, probably surprising everyone. I let out the breath I’ve been holding since the start of the dinner, and long cough came together with it. One petal, two petals, three petals, it was white at first before it was red. I didn’t have to bring my head up to see them to know that Jimin is crying.
“I love her, Jimin. I love her.”
The boys took care of me since the day they found out. Y/n sent me a message everyday, I never replied. She’s probably asking herself why. I went out one day to get something from the recording store before I saw a face so familiar.
“Ah! Namjoon a!” y/n’s mother.
“It’s nice to meet you here. How have you been?”
“I’m good,” I smile to her.
“You didn’t seem like it, dear.” Mothers are amazing. “Do you still keep in touch with y/n?” I shook my head to her question. “I see.” Her smile was a sad one, I could stop asking mysef to ask, “why?”
“She didn’t tell you, didn’t she? The reason she left?” and I shook my head, once again. Actually it was me who doesn’t even give her a chance to explain herself.
“The doctor here, told her she needs to find medical help abroad.”
“Medical help?”
“Namjoon, y/n has multiple sclerosis.”
I booked a flight to New York immediately after hearing the details from y/n’s mother. It took me forever to go through thr legal process.
The next moment I remembered is standing frozen in front of her hospital room. I was hesitating, what if I cough, what if she found out? But I need to see her, I need to apologize for being selfish. I knocked on the door, opening them when I head a ‘yes’
“Nurse, if-“ She doesn’t lose that light on her eyes even though I barely recognized her even smaller figure.
“Nam-“
“How have you been? You told me to visit your mother in one of your text, so don’t ask me why I know.” Her smirk is still the same, did not change no matter how frustrated she was. It has been six months since the last you talk or see each other. 
“How’s the book you are working on?”
“I sent it back to Seoul, to mom. I thought she might want to know what’s happening In this stupid brain of mine. Your songs?”
“Not so many important progresses. Yoongi hyung and Hobi had been a real help lately”
“You look like shit yourself, sir. Something happened?” A lot happen, stupid. I am dying to, just like you. It might be our race against time. 
“Not feeling so well lately.”
“Get well soon. Just don’t die before me. I am the one dying here.” I have been swallowing petals since I entered her room, and when I excused myself to the toilet, I realized I am the one who’s really stupid all this time. 
“You got blood on your shirt and lips,” she said after I went back from the restroom. I wouldn’t lie. Why would I? Shouldn’t she knew? But she didn’t ask any further. “The room smells nice,” probably my flowers. I stayed at the hospital that night, it was around midnight when I heard y/n screamed out of pain. The nurse come rushing in and injected something, what I assumed was pain killers, to her IV. That scene was enough to bring me into tears and for me to cough up yet another flowers. 
“Who?” I heard a voice from behind. The room was dark, very, but she still saw it. A white lily covered with blood coming out from my mouth. I chuckled, “You,” I remembered her crying.
I went back to Seoul a week later, we didn’t manage to talk anything out. All I know is, we both got our time limited. The boys told me to undergo the surgery, I won’t do it. I got a phone call, one week later, a name I did not think I will see on my phone screen.
“Hey!” Y/n, sounds like she is all good and healthy.
“You came to New York the worst time ever. I am sorry I didn't manage to talk to you when you are here.”
“Erm.”
“You okay? Is the flower okay?”
“It has been better I guess.”
“I see. That was not a good way to confess right, Namjoon?” the moment my name left her lips, I could feel hot tears cornering my ears. “How long have it been, Namjoon? How are you, Namjoon?”
“I am not so good because of you, stupid.” I cried my eyes out after that phone call. It was our last phone call, I never got to say I love her, huh?
The news of y/n passing come directly from her mother. That’s it, right? Now, I will just wait for my turn. I didn’t come out from the studio again. The studio are now filled with lily petals and flowers. I guess the boys were to afraid to even knock on the door. But when I did, it was Jin holding a book. 
“Y/n mom, she said you need this more than her.”
It was a story of a composer and a writer. It was a story about both of you. I spend the next six hours reading the 200 pages book. There was laughter and there was tears. But never had I thought the book leaded me to healing.
Monie, I wrote this book since that day you asked me to leave. I am sorry if it was too sudden for you. My stupid ass couldn’t bring myself to tell you I am dying. Remember when I asked you how do you compose songs? I wanted to know because I thought I wouldn’t have enough time to finish the whole book. So, here’s what I wanted to tell you that day if you didn’t ask me to leave. 
That man on the restaurant, he is a friend of mine and he is a doctor. I am looking for references. Please don’t take it the wrong way. And then, I want you to take a look on the book I left at your place, I didn't bring it back with me and I didn’t have the courage to go to your place after that day to take it back. Please give this book to mom after you read it, this was for her; yours is another one. 
I search through my bookshelf and found the book she’s talking about. There’s nothing inside. No words, no stories. Her stupid brain must have mistaken it. I flipped pages through pages, and on the last it said, “I love you too, Kim Namjoon,” she has always knew. Stupid.
——
“So, RM how do you compose songs?”
“Me? Through experience and lots of writing. You need to keep on trying.”
“That’s it?”
“No, and feelings. You need to have feelings. Unlike a writer who had 200 pages to tell the reader what they wanted, a composer has only five minutes to convey their feelings to the listener. I found mine two years ago” 
“And who’s this lucky person?”
I smiled, “a writer who wrote 200-page book to her mother and only one sentence to me.”
I guess, I too, know that it is coming. That one sentence I wrote down when both of us were stuck inside the studio for three days;
I want to be a part of your bookcase. I’d like to be involved in your novel, as a lover. (Trivia 承: Love)
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rarebuzzships · 6 years ago
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drewgene headcanon
submitted by @thehumblehumdrum
O K A Y so i have this headcanon i just made up about hours ago and revolves much around andrew/eugene and it all starts with the “dudes complimenting each other” video in which they’re featured in and i could see a bit of the tension between them. and that inspired me to make this MESS of an au headcanon.
heads up, just a warning for those reading – the story gets pretty steamy and explicit at some point. other than that, it’s crazy!
without further ado, here’s the whole story:
• this one is mostly from andrew’s pov • this is set in early 2015 when the video came out so a few days after the shoot for that, andrew and eugene find themselves at a house party one of their coworkers are holding (lets say quinta’s) • at this time, andrew has been thinking about the compliments he had received from eugene the other day for a while, to a point when he just like… has so many questions. the questions may vary from why was he that tense? to stuff like he knows most things about me but does he have something that i’m not supposed to know about? that kind of stuff • also, compliments in general. other than eugene being that tense, andrew didnt give too much compliments to him. was he a bit nervous? too shy? etc etc
(the rest is under a cut cause it’s pretty long)
• andrew was eager to know more about eugene so…. he decides he talk to him. eugene was probably already done chatting with some of the female coworkers about work and things so andrew gets the chance to do that step • they begin chatting with each other about simple things. and then, andrew went straight to the point - he asks eugene how it felt to tell compliments • since the alcohol may have started to seep into both of their systems, eugene becomes… more honest… like he admits he just doesnt like being given compliments and the fact that he can be uncomfortable with that. it might have personal factors but yeah i hope you get the point • and then andrew becomes also as vulnerable as eugene when it comes to compliments of course they talk about compliments and just went to a deeper conversation about it. • what happens is that they end up talking for more than an hour now (?) (wow idk why time flies) and by those times andrew gets a bit of an attraction towards him. and, because they’re slowly getting drunk at this point, while eugene is still talking, andrew makes a move that he instantly regrets fast enough. andrew leans in to kiss eugene for a short moment until regret hits our cryptid blonde boy like a TRUCK
• immediately, things start to become awkward between andrew and eugene. just after a sudden kiss, andrew dismisses that it happened and then he said goodbye to eugene without any proper explanation or context. andrew left the party early and shortly after, he tries his very best to avoid eugene at work or even at least everywhere outside work. • andrew somehow just doesnt completely ignore eugene altogether. because sometimes andrew tells himself to stop panicking over something that unimportant (like a kiss after a long conversation about compliments), and, when he abides this promise to himself miraculously, eugene, like, appears out of fucking nowhere, to ask him about paperwork. andrew wants to die a little inside knowing this mysterious man can not be avoided. • this little game that andrew wished never happened lasts for an amount of around 6 or 7 months since that kiss. then, one day, andrew looks back and thinks through, and decides to stop acting such a pussy about this situation and be brave enough to confront eugene. • so, one day at work, during lunchtime he asks eugene if he’d like see each other just to hang out in a cool bar next friday. not exactly a date but… a hang out. andrew may bring his friends over, eugene may bring his own as well. and eugene’s reaction was like, casual. he just was okay with it, nothing too serious about it • so to andrew, they finally agreed to hash whatever this is out. but he’s a littleeeee bit nervous of the outcome
• okay next thing. a week has passed since they agreed, and andrew walks into the bar to see his friend adam and a new buzfeed intern (probably niki, or annie) waiting for him. • he tries to look around for eugene, only to find nothing except some other familiar faces he had seen from work. like thespi, andrew’s longtime friend from college (and not his actual partner in this au, im so sorry you’ve been pulled into this), chatting with safiya and freddie about a new set of video ideas probably. she waves at him and smiles, he waves back. other than that, nothing else. for now though • andrew finally reaches to his friends who have been staying at a booth for a while now. eventually eugene comes in, partly to andrew’s relief. and also to andrew’s surprise, because eugene somehow just showed up with no one else beside him… i guess thats how it is then huh • eugene joins them and after a few more drinks, both he and andrew feel more loose from the stress of work and of life, and he gets to share that too with adam and the other intern friend. • like eugene, who tends to drink more than any other person in any room, andrew is about 7 drinks in. he’s also as equally tolerant to alcohol as eugene too so that’s neat. somehow the amount of alcohol leaves adam and the intern friend feeling a bit worried • but whatever, eventually the tightening tension between andrew and eugene have loosened up now so thats good. buuuut andrew doesnt want to end up becoming too comfortable around him and too drunk to be shitfaced to be aware of his self. • so he tries to think deeper and eventually asks eugene to go outside for some fresh air. the latter agreed. so they’re outside now. • at this time, andrew takes his time to think of anything sensible to say, especially about that kiss and the compliments and shit. he is surprised that as andrew was planning to open his mouth to talk, eugene steals his plan instead and goes to tell him that… he admitted he really was tense when he complimented andrew like months ago. • so eugene basically goes on to admit that he was trying his best to hide some other certain topics from that last conversation that he thought might make andrew uncomfortable • andrew leaves himself more surprised when eugene, a good minute later, asks immediately about the kiss. like… just casually “about that kiss…. i didnt… expect that from you. at all.” • now both of them seem prepared to finally (FINALLY) go to the topic and… in the end, there is a certain amount of relief and clarity between eugene and andrew. they’re glad (actually andrew’s the most glad) that they have patched up together and gained a better understanding from that issue. andrew is glad he’s gotten a satisfying response from eugene, that it’s “no hard feelings” like eugene just understands him well, andrew thought.
• after a brief moment of relief shared between the two of them and a few hearty smiles and laughs, andrew, ready to shoot for the next topic, comfortably and confidently compliments eugene’s chameleon hair (he deserves better compliments other than ‘great posture’); to his appreciation, eugene follows suit. • when eugene compliments anything about andrew this time around, he seems… more relaxed and confident in himself than he was the day of thr shoot. there is a little change that would probably affect him for the rest of his life, but of course in a good way. • then it’s all smiles in the end.
• like i said, andrew was glad he finally got to talk through properly with eugene and then get a sense of relief after months of tension. • but there is a catch! • somehow, andrew has no fucking clue whatsoever how he managed to end up in a restroom stall, leaning against the partition wall from the overriding pleasure he’s receiving right now, his dick in eugene’s mouth. • there must be an explanation how they have ended up here. maybe the alcohol finally got the best of them? maybe them becoming as more laxed than they both were the entire time? maybe appreciating compliments better than early that year, to a point where both of them want to explore a bit further? • there are so many questions, but it seems that they don’t give a single shit tonight. andrew may probably think that this could be a bad idea that could risk their friendship, and eugene looks like he shares the same sentiment as well, but now apparently they’re liking how all this is leading to. now andrew just hopes they stay good friends and co-workers in the end after they sleep at eugene’s place. • (they eventually stay good friends after a night of oddly wild sex and some very pleasing compliments. and they stay like that months after. and they still stay like that when they get themselves their big breaks – andrew with the success of steven’s show “worth it” in which he eventually becomes more active in its production, and eugene with his best friends, the tryguys, who are taking small steps in starting their own company independent from buzfeed.) • (they still remain friends in the end, despite the incoming pressures of work and social media fame. and it’s all good)
• aaand a whine escapes from andrew’s lips the moment he’s almost ALMOST close to the edge, when he doesn’t feel the tongue anywhere around his hard-on. then, eugene catches his breath and says, looking more flushed than he was, “we should continue somewhere else. don’t want anyone else to hear us… not even our work friends.” • andrew agrees. “yeah,” he whispers. • then, always the sneaky person he is, eugene woos him with a little tease here and there. and worse, he isnt even touching andrew now; instead, their faces are at their closest, distance is just non-existent. • andrew needs him tonight. he needs to touch eugene and hear him moan in pleasure. he just craves more than compliments at this point. he craves total attention. see the other guy fall apart in the same way he did to andrew. • and, a smirk appears on andrew’s face. if eugene wants to play fire, then he’s definitely game. so he dries off and zips his pants again, and he and eugene are leaving the restroom satisfied, out of the bar, and into eugene’s place…. • and they spotted another familiar face from work. just staring at them as if he just had a weird fucking experience. • oh • andrew and eugene quickly (and tries to casually) act on that reaction. then eugene just smiles a smoldering smile (of course one of them has to do that what the shit) and greets “hey. have a great night” to the shellshocked man. • then andrew with “i’m so sorry you had to hear that,” then they leave quickly to bid andrew’s friends and other familiar faces goodbye.
• and the wide-eyed man, who may have just heard two co-workers enjoying each other with a blowjob and saw them leave, reconsiders his life choices at this point.
• that wide-eyed man… that was ryan.
+ bonus: ▪ ryan, after what felt like fucking forever, eventually decides to call it a night early on. ▪ so he bids the rest of “the test friends” (shane, daysha, and maycie are at a table a few blocks away from the booth where eugene and andrew with his friends used to occupy earlier. jen couldn’t make it with them that night.) farewell for the night. one of ryan’s companions, daysha, saw something odd written all over his face… did he see/hear something else he wasnt supposed to see/hear? ▪ so daysha took notice and asks ryan if he’s okay or if something happened in the restroom. to which ryan replied in his vaguest of expressions. (yep, he definitely witnessed too much.) ▪ he just has to leave the bar because of what happened back in the restroom. he profusely apologizes to his friends about leaving this early, that he could make that up with something (a new test friends video idea maybe?) ▪ moments after ryan’s sudden leave, the rest of the friends share some vague looks. eventually one of them decides to change the topic so the atmosphere doesn’t get more weird. ▪ maycie brings up a conversation, a topic that revolves around some juicy office rumour almost half of the buzzfeed l.a. office knows about. ▪ she basically introduces that rumour to shane and daysha, who until this point had not been aware of that. then, maycie moves further to the real deal, the hot topic: something that has to do between the “cryptid” and the “hot guy.” ▪ shane and daysha take their own time to digest what maycie’s been talking about… then one of them finally figures out. ▪ shane, immediately recalling almost everything as maycie had recently mentioned, somehow in his mind plots some of those – cryptid and hot guy, awkward tension, stuff like that – with ryan’s scared expression from the restroom… and. ▪ oh ▪ shane’s face starts to mimic the same way as ryan’s, only leaving the girls with more questions and… oh. OH. ▪ i guess they somehow figured out now the outcome.
god… that took me an entire night to make that up
well, hope you enjoyed! (hopefully no one else from buzzfeed or anyone involved sees this pleaSe)
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skimcasual · 7 years ago
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They are nice shoes, but they are also a kind of defiance against the socially accepted levels of Asianness for Asians in America.
I’ve been thinking about this aspect of America where I’m always feeling the tension and need to dress to look like I belong here, because there’s already an assumption in most people’s heads that I don’t belong here. So I’ve gotten really good at bring able to tell apart what is considered “belongs here” and what is considered “exotic” and have crafted my wardobe accordingly to ensure I would benefit from the maximum strength of “belongs here”.
Then a couple years ago.. Or maybe more than that? Three years ago? I stopped arguing with my Korean side of my identity and bought a Kimono and taught myself how to wear it. It was something.. I had grown to become curious about because people had asked me so much if I was Chinese or Japanese since I moved here almost 20 years ago from Suwon. I wanted to know why people around me were so obsessed about this other Asian clothing.
My Korea side of my identity was severely concerned that wearing one and owning one would somehow hurt or weaken my Korean identity, but actually no matter how I wore it, I still looked and felt Korean, so that became a non-concern really fast. But what I hadn’t expected was that wearing this clothing was an act of defiance against white American norms.
I already defy the expectations of many Americans just by being in America. With my obviously Asian face, my difficult Asian name, the trace amounts of my Asian mannerisms and behaviors – I’m constantly clashing against the locals around here with my help-yourself culture that’s so normal where I had grown up. Simply existing while Asian is an act of defiance.
And I’ve grown to understand that these are the kinds of things I have to avoid to maintain a level of comfort for other people who are not Korean. I’ll often introduce myself as “Sandy” instead if I suspect the other person doesn’t speak Korean and can’t handle my name. It’s not their fault they don’t know any Korean, and that’s why I give them a name to call me that they are able to say. People get uncomfortable when they have to study Korean romanization to read Korean names. I just accept that now. And I try not to help myself. I try to avoid situations that would require me to ask for help in general: being able to order stuff online is so nice.
But anyway, with kimono, as I started to get more and more into it, it revealed how full of shit white-made media is about Asian stuff using fantasies white people made up about Japanese stuff. I was Korean so I didn’t really know how to tell what was maybe real and what was some made up trash, since Asia is really vast, and there are tons of unusual minority cultures in China and South East Asia I knew I never heard of much. I wasn’t sure what Asians were in the US and which groups had how much power…
So up until I got into Kimono, whenever I saw a weird Asian thing I had never heard of or seen before, I guessed it may be one of the other Asian groups. I tried to give it the benefit of thr doubt. “Oh, this Asian thing is unlike any Asian I know, but maybe I just didn’t hear about them in Korea.”
There’s a lot of ways to be Asian, and very few Asians are familiar with all of Asia. I wanna say only cultural anthropologists in Asia would know.
But Kimono made it really obvious to me where these unusual ideas about Asians were coming from… And they wern’t coming from Asia or Asians. 😂 getting into kimono helped me gain the ability to spot orientalism: White people’s fantasies about whatever it is they thought lay to the east of Europe.
Wearing a Kimono in public for me … is an act of defiance against white-centered American fashion norms. It’s a loud way to say “hey, there’s clothes that aren’t made by white people nor designed for white people.. And it looks pretty good on me!” It dials up my Asianness by like a hundred times louder than normal. It makes people think I’m not American because somebody this loudly Asian must be from Asia.
The way a simple change of clothes makes me unrecognizeable as an Asian American is both terrrifying and fascinating. I had been doing such a good job of staying within an acceptable low level of Asianness that I forgot how weak people are at recognizing that Asians like myself are American too: even when we don’t wear Jeans, we’re still American.
I had forgotten how people measure if an Asian is not-Asian enough to be safe to assume to be American. It’s always safe to assume any human in the US is American though, bearing obvious circumstances like international exchange students.
I did want to test out this feeling of defiance thoroughly. From my Kimono buying experience I got pretty ok with using eBay. Which is where I bought a Hanbok. And then another one. And then I finally came across 2 casual hanbok too and I bought those after I realized the first 2 Hanbok I bought are just too formal to work for everday wear, and I had no weddings or birthdays or Holidays to attend.
I would have just worn a Yukata and went out in public but I was considering how disappointed a Japanese American would feel if they had to come across my non-Japanese self and felt robbed of an opportunity to connect with somebody like them, so I wore the casual Hanbok outside about 4 times now, each time in a town where nobody knew me, where I went about my regular routine before a convention. A trip to walmart to buy snacks. Filling the gas at a highway rest stop. Going into a fast food to eat. Walking a mile in a downtown area to pick ul my badge. All while just being my regular Asian American self as though I was wearing Jeans and a t-shirt.
A lot of Americans don’t even know what a Hanbok is, and they don’t sexualize this clothing like they do with Kimono, but I could tell.. People were behaving differently. One lady was really nice to me. REALLY NICE. There was a different dude at the register and she came out from behind to help me when she saw I was dressed all Asian.
Some dude asked me if I was wearing a Hanbok… Ok but do I go around asking people if they’re wearing a Jeans? 😂 awkward socialization is awkward. Had a few Korean folks reveal themselves and we had some short&sweet Korean American high fives. It was all men… This should alarm me but none of them were creepy about it..
A lot of people thought they were looking at something pretty but they did not know how to be appropriate about it so they only stared quietly. They knew it wasn’t a Kimono.. But they didn’t know what to call it.. “Hey, nice outfit” would have worked.. I liked that people didn’t have thw vocab though because it meant all they could do was appreciate from afar but could not engage me in a conversation I probably didn’t want to have that many times that day..
That’s kind of the thing.. I want to do Asian things but I want people to think “Asian doing Asian thing? That’s pretty normal” and move on. I don’t usually want people to stop me to tell me they know I’m doing an Asian thing.. I’m not wearing a Hanbok or a Kimono for them: I’m doing it for me because it makes me feel good 😂 it just feels nice to be able to wear something that Asians in Asia wear time to time..
And yes, wearing a Hanbok felt totally defiant too. Here I was doing an Asian thing that would have gotten me teased and othered 10 years ago for “not fitting in”. Back then, the pressure was on for me to assimilate. To get a job. To have a kid. To live in America like “the other American do”. I couldn’t even wear anime t-shirts back then because that was for weird white people, and I was trying to be like the normal white Americans. The difference is that I see no fault in myself anymore for being Asian. The problem is in how white America treats Asian things.
It feels good to do things in defiance of that kind of assimilation. Assimilation pushes us too far. It’s tiring to have to rewrite oneself so much for the comfort of people who aren’t you. What’s normal for others doesn’t have to be my normal, especially if we don’t share the same identity. I rather enjoy my normal which straddles freely between Korean, Asian, and White America. It’s my freedom to find a good balance between those three.
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kenysholar1990 · 4 years ago
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recentnews18-blog · 6 years ago
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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/weird-al-on-his-upcoming-biggest-ever-tour-cult-classic-uhf/
"Weird Al" on His Upcoming "Biggest Ever" Tour, Cult Classic 'UHF'
Yankovic onstage with his band during his recent Ridiculously Self-Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour
Let us consider, for a moment, the career of “Weird Al” Yankovic.
In 1976, at 16, he handed a homemade tape of accordion-accompanied original songs to Los Angeles DJ Dr. Demento, who thought it clever enough to play the first track — “Belvedere Cruisin’,” about his family’s black Plymouth Belvedere — on his show. In 2014, at 54, his 14th studio album, Mandatory Fun, became the first-ever comedy album to debut atop the Billboard 200. And for the last four decades Yankovic has watched the throne he ascended in 1979 with his first single, “My Bologna,” ruling as the undisputed king of song parodies.
Even more impressive, he’s done it all without once punching down, without so much as a whiff of scandal, just 40-plus straight years of being a wholesome, genuine, nice dude. (As a copy editor, I also appreciate the consistency with which he’s maintained the quotation marks around “Weird Al.”)
You’ve heard the phrase “rule with an iron fist in a velvet glove”? Al has not. His velvet glove is filled with a nesting succession of smaller, velvetier gloves. 
On Monday, Yankovic will finally receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, which is about as overdue as his Mark Twain Prize. The ceremony, which will stream live here beginning at 11:30 a.m. PT, will feature speeches from his early champion Dr. Demento, aka Barry Hansen, and Yankovic’s friend Thomas Lennon (Reno 911, The State), as well as Al himself. And it’s probably the fairest of bets that no one will ever take a sledgehammer to his square of black and red terrazzo.
Yankovic, who has kept up a robust touring schedule for most of his career, wrapped his 77-date Ridiculously Self-Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour in June and is already prepping to hit the road in 2019 for what he says will be his biggest tour ever. Last week he sat down with THR to talk about those plans, his first and only foray into filmmaking and, uh, skin care.
Where are you in the world right now?
I am at home in Los Angeles.
So you’re done with the 2018 tour?
The tour is over. We had a great time. It was going to be a once-in-a-lifetime thing, but we all had such a wonderful time and it was such a successful tour that I think we’re probably gonna bring it back at some point in the future, but not for several years. Actually right now we’re all getting geared up for the 2019 tour, which is going to be completely different. This last tour was a very bare-bones tour without any kind of costumes or props or anything. It was as low-fi as we could possibly make it. And next year we’re gonna go the whole other direction and we’re gonna do our biggest-ever tour — every single show is going to be with a full orchestra. And it’s called Strings Attached. We don’t have any dates confirmed yet. It’s probably gonna be some time around summer next year. I think the plan is that we’re going to be able to announce dates probably around late October of this year.
People my age, who’ve been fans of yours since they were kids, are now growing up and old enough to bring their kids. When you’re doing these tours for your hard-core fans, are you noticing that there’s still those younger generations that are familiar with you through your more recent stuff? Is it people that are my age that are bringing their kids?
This last tour I noticed it kind of skewed more toward the older fans because the tour was really a love letter to people that have been following my career for 10, 20, 30 years. So, as a result, I think the demographic was a little older on this last tour. But in general for most of my tours and certainly for next year’s tour, it’s a big tent. I think kids and teenagers and college-age and middle-age and parents, grandparents, everybody. And they’re all enjoying the show. Maybe they’re all enjoying it on a slightly different level or they react to different things, but everybody seems to be having a good time, which is very gratifying.
I was having a conversation with a friend, who’s a musician and another big fan of yours, and we were talking about how, like, saying that you’ve had such a lengthy career and that you’ve “stayed relevant” is underselling the point that we were trying to make that you, I guess, haven’t adapted to the new-media, new-distribution-model environment so much as you were built for it.
(Laughs.) I guess so. It seems like kind of an empty quest to try to stay relevant. I’ve never consciously tried to do that. I do what I do and hopefully people enjoy it. But also, you need to embrace new technology and realize when the paradigm shift is happening, and certainly I don’t make and distribute music the way that I used to do in the ’80s.
Do you prefer the current ways of distributing music?
I mean I think there are certainly pros and cons, but more than not I think that there are a lot more good things to be said about the way that music is consumed these days. I appreciate the fact that because of digital distribution I can get my material out quickly. I don’t have to be beholden to any kind of physical media. It allows me to be more spontaneous and contemporary and also because of social media I’ve got immediate input from the fans. The one big drawback is the fact that nowadays people don’t seem to be buying music as readily as they did in the ’80s and ’90s.
And yet! Your last album debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200.
I did, in fact, sell over 100,000 units of the last album, which was good enough for number one that week, so that was a big deal for me. I never dreamed that I would have a number one album ever in my life, so I’m still very happy about that.
When you’re a consumer of music and have to be, like, what are you into these days? What do you listen to for pleasure?
I hate to give a laundry list of bands that I listen to. I mostly listen to whatever my family listens to in the car. So my daughter listens to the satellite hit stations, so that’s how I kinda keep current on the new music. But usually music is like my comfort food, so I listen to a lot of music and a lot of artists and a lot of albums that I listened to in high school and college for nostalgic reasons, I suppose. And there’s some new bands out, again, I don’t want to start listing a bunch of names, but bands out that also I’m very excited about because they harken back to some eras in music that I quite enjoyed personally. I mean, they’re always making good music and you just have to seek it out.
Let me ask about the “Hamilton Polka.” That was a situation where, did Lin-Manuel Miranda reach out to you about that?
Yeah that’s kinda funny ’cause normally I would reach out to the artist and ask if it’s OK, but I’ve known Lin for a number of years where I guess at this point you could say we’re old friends. And about a year ago he said, “Hey I’m doing these Hamildrops and would you be interested in doing a Hamilton polka?” And that was one of those ideas that was sort of rolling around in the back of my head, and the fact that he actually approached me on it kind of cemented it, like, well yeah, that’s an obvious idea. Of course I’d like to do that. But then like a year went by and I didn’t hear from him again and I thought, “Oh, well this is not happening.” And then at the beginning of this year he said, “OK, we’re doing it! We can do it right now!” So I dropped everything and spent a month just arranging and producing and recording the “Hamilton Polka,” and we got it out I think right under the wire or right around the time when we needed to release it.
And the recent remixes with Portugal. The Man, as well. How did that come about?
The same way. They just reached out and said, “We would love for you to do a remix of a few songs.” And that wasn’t something that was in my wheelhouse, per se. I mean, I’m not a remixer. I said, “Well, do you want me to do something like a cool kind of techno thing?” And they go, “No, no could you put some accordion on it?” I go, “Oh, no, I know exactly what you want.” (Laughs.) “I’ve done this before; I know exactly how this works.” So I basically did polka remixes of their two songs [“Feel It Still” and “Live in the Moment”] and they were very happy with it. It’s kinda weird: That happened in January, too, so January was like my big polka month. I was working on the “Hamilton Polka” plus those two Portugal. The Man remixes.
youtube
Are you working on anything else now, a new album or anything?
I’m not currently working on any new music. We’re preparing and getting geared up for next year’s tour, and also I’m developing a pilot for an animated show for Amazon. I’m partnered with The Jim Henson Co. So we’ll see if that goes anywhere. And there’s a few other things that are sort of in various stages of development but nothing that’s far along enough that I can really talk about it right now.
I told your manager a story about how in the late ’90s I spent like $75 or some ridiculous amount on eBay buying a video store-used copy of UHF because it wasn’t out on DVD and I really wanted a copy. I have to ask about —
Do you want your money back?
No, the opposite! It is funny though because I was just thinking about how I was, I don’t know, eight or something. So it’s one of those things like The Simpsons where as a kid you laugh at the jokes but you don’t get the jokes until years later when you finally see Gandhi or The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Do people still talk to you about that movie all the time and tell you really boring stories about buying copies off eBay?
(Laughs.) The movie has gone on to cult status, I suppose. It wasn’t any kind of box-office hit when it first came out in 1989, but over the years it built up a fan base through people watching it on cable TV and VHS tape and eventually DVD and now Blu-ray. And it has really been gratifying to me that the movie has gained such a fan base because it was very disheartening when it came out, ’cause we all thought that it was a funny movie and that it was going to be a hit and it was certainly not that. Every now and then I’ll go to screenings of the movie around the country and do Q&A sessions, and it’s just so wonderful to watch people watching the movie that are big fans and they’ve got the movie memorized — they’ll chant along with the dialogue like it’s The Rocky Horror Picture Show or something. It’s an amazing thing to see, and like I said it means a lot to me after all these years that people still care about it.
youtube
When did that start to happen that you sensed it had become a thing?
It’s kind of hard to say exactly when the tipping point was, but I’m pretty sure that the DVD came out 13 years later, so that would’ve been —
2002. I know because I had an Amazon alert set for if it ever came out and I remember getting the email in college and being like, “You guys! It finally happening for me!”
Something like that. So the DVD came out and it was a top 10 best-selling DVD, which took everybody by surprise because MGM put out the DVD as a fluke ’cause they knew that this movie’s got some fans, we might as well put this out, and they were not expecting it to be a top-10 DVD, so that was a nice surprise for everybody.
I don’t know if you saw on Twitter but people were talking about Angela Bassett had turned 60 last week, the great Angela Bassett, and how like absolutely incredible she looks at 60. And there was the Tom Cruise-Wilford Brimley thing. And it occurred to me, you know who else looks great? “Weird Al.” (Laughter.) And you’re 58. I don’t know if you have any skin-care tips you want to share?
Yeah I’ve been pretty lucky, thanks. I don’t have any big skin-care regimen. I guess I’ve got good DNA. And I also stay out of the sun a lot — I think that has something to do with it maybe.
Source: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/weird-al-his-upcoming-biggest-ever-tour-cult-classic-uhf-1137568
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winterbuckytho · 6 years ago
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WHFJ 7 Thy Body In Remembrance of You pt.12 Jim & Caleb II
They walked in and Jim searched Caleb for any weapons. In his jacket he discovered an manila packet folded in half with his name in very familiar writing.
"Who gave you this?" Jim asked shucking out of his boots and coat, leaving them in the hall on the floor.
"The same person who tasked me to keep an eye on you. Fury."
Jim hands it back and says "Oh, really? Open it. If it explodes, I don't want a face full." He's kinda being mean, but he doubts Caleb would be running around with a bomb in his pocket unknowingly. He wanted to yell or argue but he knew it would lead nowhere and that this was just a symptom of what had gone wrong. He was intensely hurt by the idea Caleb had been getting close for forget nefarious, professional reasons. His mind harkened back to the time they shared in his kitchen. He felt an almost begrudging pulse of lust for Caleb. Then the image of a pile of worms swimming in slime against each other. The slime reminded him of cum, the kind that comes from a well pleased woman. 'Jesus, fucking fuck. God, what is wrong with me?' he cried in the silence of his own mind.
Caleb unwinds the string keeping it shut and takes out first a photograph, a letter, and a card. Handing each to Jim one by one.
The photo is of Nickelle Fury, a sever woman with an eye patch over her left eye with Agent Pollock Carter, the guy who Steve knew that helped Jim get out of Hydra. In the photo they are shaking hands and each holding one side of the packet. In the background Jim could see a bit of a calender behind them. This photo was taken the same month, a year after he got out. They've had this down as a possible eventuality. May very well have trained Caleb since he was a small child to deal with Jim. He can think of no other way they could have hoped to bring him down or in should the need arise. Thank god he is not as far gone as they seemed to think he could go. At least he can understand what is happening.
He kinda knows what the letter will say. he is a bout to speak when Caleb speak first.
"Project White Winged Dove. It wasn't just for you, but I was. I was never surprised you don't remember me. They had a hard time trying to find an adult who could content with you and so began scrubbing for enhanced people who, even if they were still minors, could be trained in the event the Winter Soldier reform ever derails. You yourself taught me everything I know.
I'm gonna tell you all the truth I can right now and forever because... I need you to know I would never hurt you. I really care about you.
I am telepathic and telekinetic. I use telepathic illusion to shape your perception of how you feel the contact I make with you and telekinesis to make said contact. The other way I work, I can take control of other living things like people or animals, right down to their cells. I could give you cancer or another arm, make you blond or eat a crepe if I wanted to. And I could watch you do it from anywhere, we think as long as I have met you in person or be in your body, doing it myself. I can't seem to fix my disorder with it, so that's a bummer.
I have been using non humans who live in the town proper to keep an eye out for you or anyone trying to get to you. We can't risk you being controlled again. And..." He says a bit more meekly "if you don't mind me saying, you've worked too hard for it all to come crashing down. But anyway, animals, the smaller the better; humans not so much. Too much power leak, I can't keep it all in one place for very long. And the more I use, the more robust it becomes. Like a gas tank that when nearing empty just grows bigger and somehow the liquid inside grows in volume to fit thr proportions.
We really don't understand what my limits are yet.
Beings I control all vary in degrees, distances, and lengths of time. During that time I can not move my own physical body. During times of immobilization, I can project what is called an astral form, either a copy of one or more of my own body or multiple limbs of different types that can go unseen and interact with the physical things the way my physical body does. I am not to use this ability for combat. I meant it when I said I can hardly move anything thicker than syrup. I take medications to dampen it down, it works like a psionic muscle relaxant. Otherwise I'd lose control while sleeping.
I am well disciplined in telepathic cloaking, detection, communication and mnemokinesis, specifically detecting changes to memories and removing thoughts and memories. Just to be clear, no, I have never removed yours. " He explained quite formally, fussing with a string on the cuff of his left sleeve.
"Okay, that is way more than I thought you'd say. Wow. What a mouthful. If you are telling me the truth, I apprieciate it and can understand how I have been alarming you. I know I've been acting like I've lost my mind, I can explain that." he makes a gesture with his hands first the right pointing over his left shoulder then left pointing over his right followed by a shake of his shaggy damp hair before gesturing behind himself once more this time with both hands closed with thumbs extended as if he is trying to explain geographic directions incorrectly.
"Well, some of that." Jim sighs, placing his open hands in the air at chest height pushing down gently twice as he does so before continuing, "Where ever we go from here, I just have one request. If you are asked to watch me, don't do it in secret anymore. Call me, visit me, make me talk. I now understand none of this, well this part of it, would have never happened if I had trusted my friends and asked for help. I'm not used to having help or solving problems with out breaking something. But I know I have to change, I have to learn to do things differently. I can hardly look at you, for a moment you were in serious danger because I'm a fucking lunatic who doesn't know how to just be normal. I have to learn I am not alone anymore and I have to care for my friends better than I have been." Jim says.
Caleb, God bless his soul, only blinks twice in baffelment at Jim's change in mood then nods seemingly to himself now reassured Jim is going to kill him.
"Listen, I've been having some... odd experiences. I have also been experiencing some psychological problems. What you just said explains some of it but, I'm still... going through something. I think I am either going insane in a totally new way than usual, have encountered a local enhanced child in multiple places around town including my own bedroom, or am at the center of a haunting, mostly by someone I killed... when I was...was...the Winter Soldier." those last two words come out of his mouth with a shudder in the tone of a child who knows the boogeyman is real. And unfortunately, a quite unhinged laugh tore free from him as soon as this statement was out of his mouth. "I'm pretty sure it's a haunting now though. I'm very sure such things are real. I'd tell you all about it, but you might want to sleep tonight, ha."
"Under other circumstances with someone besides you, I'd have assumed you have lost touch with reality and would keep you restrained till I update with my contact. I have seen you doing some questionable things over the last few months. I mean, take the day I lead you home from the store." Seeing the look on Jim's face Caleb continued, "I was two of them. I chose the bird to check your breathing, pulse and dilation of your pupils. The rabbit was because I wasn't sure if you could see properly. From my point of view you walked up the street, became startled and upset, then rushed to an empty spot on the sidewalk then ask a squirrel who his friend was. It was rather bizarre."
"I wasn't... So you weren't...the squirrel was just..."Jim begins to ask with a slightly deflated air.
"No. But I was here the other day. I'll entirely be honest. I'm not lying about how I feel about you. And I know it's wrong... I just missed you so much and you didn't want m-me to get any closer. But I keep wanting you. So I came to see you and uhm I saw... i i-in the bath..." Caleb blushing deeply biting the corner of his lower lip, goes on, " When you were...busy I began hearing the voice you also heard. I actually went downstairs in a spider long before you did and took note of the temperature change and mood there. I thought things like that didn't really happen but I've had some experiences in Jansenhaven that support the possibility."
"What kind of experiences? Oh, but- you heard that? The crying?" Jim asked unabashedly comforted that someone else experienced it as well.
"Yes, Jim. It incapacitated you for a while. I tried to get your attention but you couldn't hear I guess. I didn't use telepathy because I didn't want to invade you again, I know you didn't like that very much when it was telekinetic. I got hold of a racoon and was gonna break in and at the very least dial 911 for you. As for my experience, we can talk abut that stuff later if you want, right now would you mind if took an assessment of your physical and mental state?"
"I guess I have to, huh?"
"Yes. I need to know what to tell my mom."
"Your what now?"
"I'll explain later. Let's get some drinks and sit. This will only take a bit."
After retrieving two glasses of water Jim returned seeing Caleb had seated himself on the floor at the coffee table. Jim did the same.
"Do you think you can tell me about the two things in your life that worry you the most?" Caleb asks as soon as Jim has made himself comfortable.
With a stricken look Jim reaches up pushing his hair back the gripping it with both hands as if he is going to pull it out. He blinks and when his eyes open again they are wide as if he is trying to see everything that is a problem.
"Take a breath Jim. Tell me what you feel most strongly at the moment. " Caleb asks gently.
Jim closes his eyes letting go of his softly waved dark brown hair. He takes a breath and says "Pain. I am in pain. " almost instantly.
"Will you let me use telekinesis to help?"
Jim nods.
A hand tests on his shoulder a moment then sinks beneath his skin he can feel another on the back of his neck doing the same.
As Caleb works, Jim asks "You said I've met you before? Really? Can you tell me... am I why you..." without meaning to but also understanding Caleb can hear '...feel the way you do? Did...did I do something, say something that took advantage of you during that time? Did I prey upon you and make you think you like it?'
With a smile Caleb answers him. "Uht uhn. No. You were kind and good, always. I remember you were very sad though you tried not to show it and very confused about what was going to happen next. You wore long sleeve turtle necks and gloves when you were with me. We only worked together for about six months. You taught me my enhancements have a use and it made me really happy. You taught me how to fight with a knife, use a pistol and how to read other people without getting in their minds. You taught me how to be comfortable and love my body by teaching me how to dance. All so I could confidently go toe to toe with you if ever I needed to. I only started having those feelings when I started my new route at work. Before then I considered myself your guardian angel and nothing more."
"I'm sorry I can't remember. I'm sorry you had to do it, but I'm glad you learned well." 'I'm glad I wasn't that kind of monster also.'
"You are not a monster. You are not a bad person. You have had a hell of a life and still you try so hard to be a version of yourself you can feel proud of. You are my hero for not saying 'I'm messed up so I'm gonna do messed up things. It's not my fault if others get hurt, someone hurt me.' And I don't xare what you say, I love you. Not you in some other time and place, you now. Sick, tierd, troubled, whatever you are, how ever you are, now."
The sensation of the hands temperature is similar to that perfect level of warm you get when you turn on both hot and cold water from a single faucet. It will seem your mind can not decide whether it is more on the side of hot or more cold. The hands glide down into his body causing no pain but leaving a trail of blessedly cool numb behind on everything they touch. The hand on his shoulder walks it's fingers over the muscle and tendons along his left side while the other does the same down his spine then back up the muscles and the tissue connected to the hardware. A third hand comes to set at his temple the thumb resting over the markings of the blue girl. With a sensation of incredible depth the hand pressed forward on a diagnal toward the back of his skull. The blaring pain began to lessen significantly. After months Jim breathed a sigh of relief.
"Is this better?"
"Yes. The marks...they still hurt a bit. They weren't a physical injury I don't think. The pain from them was changing how I think, I was starting to be unable to make sense of some pretty simple concepts."
"I'm glad I could -oh no... " muttered Caleb.
Caleb's body waivers, he reaches clumsily forward knocking over several things. He grasps the cup of water and drags it toward himself as if it weights 20 pounds. With it finally closer breathing heavily "...I overdid it. Earlier I was just so scared..." he mutters. Out of his pocket he takes a pill case and begins trying to open it
His hands shake as he tries to take one pill out he spills several onto the table. his shoulders slump now and there's a weird feeling in the air like static electricity. Jim can see some of the pages on a book on the table beginning to lift some of the pills rolling around even though Caleb's not pushing them with his fingers his hair is starting to fluff about him as if there is a wind in the room with them. He throws a pill in his mouth and knocks back a sip of water he appears to be growing weaker, his posture is starting to slouch like he is going entirely limp.
He passes out, falling backward between the couch and the coffee table. There is a low buzzing that has been sub-audible for a few minutes now but is growing into a rapid drumming. Jim turns around and looks behind himself at the source of the noise. The lamp is sliding around on the side table and the table is trembling like someone is trying to lift it strait up with one hand and is losing balance. Jim feels several random tugs on his sleeves and hair, even felt some thing the size of a softball pushing back his right shoulder. As he sits he notices a growing rumbling which seems to be caused by everything in the room he's in being to be manipulated by unseen forces. The painting above the fireplace, the clock beside the window, the couch, the chair. It grows louder and louder until Jim is sure everything in the little house is rattling on their shelfs & tables, hell, he can hear the silverware clanging around inside the drawer and the cupboard doors quickly fluttering against their frames. He can hear water splashing upstairs and knows what he'd see if he went up and looked in the toilet: water sloshing about as if being carried none too carefully in a pail. Then as slowly as it began it winds down again then stops entirely.
He turns back and look at Caleb. Well, he wasn't lying about his control, he is indeed clumsy with the powder keg in his head, he does have trouble moving anything thicker than syrup. It'd be hard for Jim to use his arm while asleep or losing control of it, too. The boy's (for in Jim's mind, Caleb is too young for this shit) face is very troubled. His long eyelashes lay very prettily against his cheek, his skin still rosey from the wind outside. His lips are in a little pout and his brow is furrowed. Jim wonders if he's having a nightmare or is aware somehow of what is going on outside himself? Did the pill knock him out or did it immobilize his kinetic energy keeping him from letting loose a tornado of kinetic power in Jim's house? He could kill him and pick up stakes and run, but if Agent Carter is on the level, Jim just needs a therapist and maybe an exorcist. . Feeling bone tired he gets to his feet and gets Caleb off the floor. He is light in Jim's arms; his head flops back over Jim's right arm. There is a fine fuzz on his cheek that Jim just wants to rub his face in.
Jim is so angry, so confused and so in love, the breach of trust feels like it's killing him. The paranoia doesn't usually go this far. He just had to keep digging. But now is so disappointed that his suspicions turned out correct this time. He wants the knowledge to go away just so he doesn't have to feel the hurt anymore.
He's never fallen for a target before but has seen it happen, he can remember that all it lead to was pain for the two involved. It is the first thing Jim remembers about becoming lucid, watching confused as a man's heart was crushed before his eyes. He can remember the deceptive party lost his edge entirely and for months tried to live with the burning shame & absolutely undying desire washing away all reason. He saw the panic then final resolve in his eye when the deceptive one decided to come clean. His love was killed and he was deemed weak but before they could dispose of him the guy went mad with grief, Gustovovich killed himself.
He feels like if Caleb were playing him and there is no doubt Caleb could, Jim knows what kind of training spies worth their salt go through, Jim thinks he would see something further in passed the real guilt, a kind of trail of tells leading back to the truth that guilt is being redirected from.
He doesn't want this for Caleb, he doesn't want this kind of life to crush this boy's heart & soul. Even though he realizes as young as he is, Caleb is no boy. He can see five different ways Caleb can get hurt. Even as a minor he must have had to grow up so fast. Jim feels a feeling like petrifying terror when he thinks about Caleb living mentally as an adult to survive the world of enhanced politics and covert operations. Has he ever had to kill anyone? How many corpses has he seen? Has he ever been interrogated and tortured? Jim can only think of awful things that could happen to a child caught in the grinding teeth of political, economic or organized criminal espionage.
He rests Caleb on the couch laying him on his right side, and even though he is physically and mentally drained he can't leave Caleb's side. He sits on the floor beside the couch resting his right arm on the cushion and his head upon it. He can look directly into Caleb's face this way. He hopes Caleb can feel him there. He tentatively raises his metal hand. He wants Caleb to wake up and know he doesn't have to be afraid, doesn't have to fight or protect himself. Jim brushes Caleb's hair back caressing him softly so as not to wake him. He dozes gently if uncomfortably and wakes when he hears forlorn quiet sobs & sniffles beside him. They have a lot to talk about but being apart from each other is not one of them.
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