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Sukuna’s Loneliness Part 4 (Sukuna’s Negative Rizz)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Some warnings before we start.
1) This analysis deals with sexual topics.
2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans because of their accessibility. Raws are from mangareader(.)to.
3) This was written as of JJK 262 266. (I'm just going to keep updating this until I stop finding things I should've noticed earlier.)
4) The raws broke me in ways you cannot possibly imagine.
(Click images for captions/citations.)
Fighting as Communication
Baki the Grappler. This is a manga where men destroy each other’s bodies as a test of strength. It’s poorly written but the art is terrifying and I love it so dearly. Between fights of extreme violence and body horror the characters eat. And that’s it. That’s the manga.
I bring Baki up because Gege is a huge fan of Fujimoto Tatsuki, the creator of Chainsawman. Fujimoto is a fan of Gege too, but more importantly, he is a huge fan of Itagaki Keisuke, the creator of Baki. (His daughter made Beastars btw.) In a way, this means Jujutsu Kaisen has been influenced by Baki. But that’s not a surprise, a lot of manga is.
Itagaki’s work is so massively influetial on Japanese media that it’s kind of hard to grasp since it’s not as popular overseas. When listening to interviews from various Japanese creators, Baki will often be cited as a major influence. And the thing is, you can tell when a creative has read Baki. There’s nothing quite like it. If you’ve read Baki and consume Chainsawman, you will see its bones everywhere. I feel the same about Jujutsu Kaisen.
The main antagonist in Baki is Yujiro Hanma. He is the strongest creature alive. So much so that he has no one to call a rival. He’s bored. He causes trouble. He kills his wife to motivate his son, Baki into becoming stronger. His son, Baki, who he grooms into becoming a fighter that might beat him in combat one day. Kind of sounds like Sukuna, right?
But that’s not my point here. My focus is how Baki doubles as a discussion about strength and manhood. It’s aggressively bisexual. Men love each other with their fists. Straight up the main character says having sex with women is the same thing as fighting men.
And it just doesn’t stop there. The homoerotic nature of the fights is never shyed away from. Here’s an example of my favorite.
He grabs his balls and compliments their size. That’s pretty gay, right? Well there’s this reanimated prehistoric caveman called Pickle that fights Baki’s brother Jack. And how do they fight? They kiss.
I didn’t call it a kiss. Itagaki did. I didn’t say they melded together. Itagaki did. This mangaka overtly calls attention to the homoerotic nature of men fighting men, and how men communicate their love for each other through violence. And yes, it’s sexual. Itagaki wants you to read it that way.
But sometimes he doesn’t want you to read it that way. Sometimes the fights are a dialogue, an emotional conversation. Like one between father and son.
Itagaki is a master of narrative framing. When he wants you to feel a certain way, you will feel it. He also tells his readers that there’s more to the fights than just fighting.
Those are the ideas that help me see the bones of Baki in other works. Men loving men with violence. Men communicating with men through violence. I see these ideas in Jujutsu Kaisen too.
Jujutsu Communication
I’ve gone over how Yuji commucates with other people on their own terms. And a lot of it is through fighting. A conversation without words, learning how someone works. Yuji is good at using fights as tool of communication.
But he’s not the one who tells you that there’s more to the fights than just fighting. Maki does in her spar with the sumo guy.
Just like Baki. Fighting is a means of communication. Gege has told you that there can be more to the fights than fighting. It's a tool used to understand the self and others.
With that in mind, I want to reexamine a particular fight under the lens of Baki rather than Umineko.
Sukuna vs Gojo
Baki tells you that homoerotic readings of its fights are intentional. If you ask me, this probably stems from historical stances on masculinity and homosexuality in ancient Japan. Men loved men and women differently, but both were ok. That’s how Baki can have a girlfriend and his gay fights. Peak bisexual optimization.
What does Jujutsu Kaisen have to do with this? Well it has been extremely queer friendly. We have a multidue of canonical trans characters, non-binary characters, and other flavors of queer characters not disparaged for their identities, Gojo Satoru included. It may not be stated outright, but Gojo and Geto do love each other in a gay way. The subtext is so persisent it’s basically text.
In other words, Gege has already told us, yes please have queer readings of this text. It’s the same way Baki tells you, yes this is straight up convoluded gay sex. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to reread the Sukuna and Gojo fight as some ridiculous mating display between two men who are fighting over can miscommunicate their intent the hardest.
Framed as Courtship
Let’s start with the framing. The pre-fight set up. How does text tell you queer readings are allowed?
Kenjaku does. It’s romantic. It’s a date. This reading has been made valid explicitly. And if there’s room for doubt because of the sarcasm? There’s still additional support for it.
We already know how badly in love Gojo is with Geto. The fight is on the 24th of December, the most romantic day in Japan. And in a fun little Geto parallel, who declared the start of war on this day, violence underlines this new romantic venture.
That doesn’t include Sukuna who recalls Yorozu’s words about teaching love in the context of marriage.
Gojo never heard that conversation which is why the next point is absolutely insane.
The outfit Gojo initially is in resembles that of a groom at a Shinto wedding.
Shinto weddings were implemented after the Heian era. Part of the ceremony includes a priest and a shrine maiden who respectively stand to the right and left of the altar. A purification ritual will occur, lead by the priest, to cleanse the shrine before vows are exchanged. Gakuganji is the priest and Utahime is the shrine maiden. To the right and left of Gojo respectively.
The bride at a Shinto wedding wears mainly white. After the 200% Hollow Purple cleanses the area, the dark shawl is removed and Sukuna remains in mostly white.
How interesting that this battle has been framed as one between groom and bride.
The thing is, marriage in the Heian era was far more lax. There were no major ceremonies. If a man was interested in marrying a woman, he would visit her for 3 nights after receiving approval from her father. Upon the passing of their 3rd night together, the family would have an informal celebration of their union in private. Even after marriage, multiple partners were allowed and sometimes encouraged.
Yorozu’s big celebration proposal to Sukuna and banning of concubines was quite improper by Heian standards. Though it is in line with modern marriages. If Sukuna did not consume any Shinto wedding literature, he probably didn’t recognize that Gojo was dressed as a groom.
But did Gojo dress this way for Sukuna intentionally? The Toji fit served an entirely different purpose. It’s the robes and pre-fight ceremony that catch my attention. So I propose the following:
1) Gojo dressed up as a groom to die and be wed with his one and only Geto in death.
2) Gojo dressed up as a groom in part as an offering to Sukuna. And because Sukuna is from the Heian era it went over his head entirely.
3) Gojo intended for both of these things at the same time and left who he would end up with to fate.
Regardless of what Gojo was going for here, it’s a visual cue combined with the knowledge of it being Dec 24th that encourages the reader to perhaps consider the fight as something other than just a fight. A date perhaps? Kenjaku made the connection and neither Gojo or Sukuna really denied it. Gojo gave the weak excuse of a death anniversary confusion. But much weirder, given how hostile he was to Yorozu, Sukuna did not object to the romantic framing in any capacity.
Am I reaching? Is this reading intentional?
When I start getting this confused by how a translated work wants me to read it, I try to refer to the original language text and anyone who knows it for missing context. Sometimes localizations add things that weren’t there or push readers towards one interpretation. So for the rest of this analysis, I’m going to be focusing on the raws.
I’m going to be honest. My Japanese fudging sucks. I can barely read kanji and can’t reliably translate anything. Feel free to correct me if I got something wrong. That being said, with what little I do know, I have discovered something interesting.
In this post I talked about how weird Sukuna’s manner of speech is. I focused on his you pronoun usage of お前 (Omae) for everyone else and 貴様 (Kisama) for Gojo since this is a strong indicator of how a character views their relationship to someone.
Here's a summary of the two points I made in that post:
1) Omae is informal and either a casual thing amongst peers or indicates the speaker's higher status. Since Sukuna is arrogant, we can reasonably assume he's talking down to people.
2) Kisama historically was a formal show of respect, but in modern times it is a hostile insult, much more rude than Omae. Since Sukuna is 1,000 years old and hates Yuji (who he uses Omae with), we can reasonably assume Sukuna was being friendly to Gojo when he used Kisama.
With that pronoun usage in mind, while examining the raws for the infamous “You Cleared My Skies” speech I found this:
Kisama. Sukuna is very happy and lavishing Gojo with praise. The assumption it was formal from the start seems to be correct. It's hard to read this any other way.
Though Japanese can easily be dubious in its interpretation, there are instances where context can cut off all other readings. I truly believe this one of those cases.
Now, to confirm Sukuna is still only treating Gojo this way I started looking at his you pronouns as he got excited post-Gojo death. Maki is the person he seems to admire the most.
He’s still just using Omae. What does that mean? Gojo is in his own fudging category for Sukuna and he has been there since the start of the manga. (For more on why this is significant, refer to this post.)
Wow ok. That’s pretty intense! We’ve got Gojo dressed up as a groom on December 24th and Sukuna treating Gojo different from anyone else. I read their fight again under the lens of explicit courtship and focused in on these specific panels.
Satisfaction. Now that’s a word that can easily carry a sexual connotation. Love as well. The parallel syntax fascinated me in English. So I decided to look at the raws and see how close they are.
Pretty much the same except for "the one who will teach you love" and "the one satisfying him now". Since the one being satisfied is Gojo by Sukuna, it really seems we can assume the one being taught love is Gojo by Sukuna.
Time to learn some Japanese again!
Kanji has multiple readings. Most have at least two. The Onyomi (Chinese) reading typically used for nouns and the Kunyomi (Japanese) reading typically used for verbs. (This is not always the case but it’s the basics.)
That’s probably why 満 is read as まん (man) when Gojo and Geto are talking about “satisfaction” using the On version and み (mi), the Kun version, when the narrator is talking about who “satisfies” who.
However 満 on its own does not mean satisfaction. It means full. To be filled. Or fullness. 足 (zoku) is added as a modifier after 満 to be read as satisfaction 満足 (manzoku). 足 usually means feet, but it can also mean to be sufficient. Manzoku therefore has a direct translation of being sufficiently full. It’s not a surprise a lot of food places in Japan use Manzoku in their names or advertising.
But what’s this? Why is this sentence written as 満たして or Mi(tashite) instead of 満足して or Manzoku(shite)? The addition of Zoku is what transforms Man into "satisfying". Without the Zoku, it’s just "fill". The means this sentence can be read as “The one filling him up now is—”
We’ve already established that the blank is Sukuna. The new problem is that he’s filling Gojo up. And boy, does that sound homoerotic to put it lightly. But perhaps I am reaching.
So I did what any sane person would do in this situation. I read hentai.
Surely if the phrase 満たして (mitashite) can carry a sexual connotation I will find it in hentai.
...
I immediately found a yaoi doujin called Fill me with your Big Love aka おっきな愛で満たして (Okkina Ai de Mitashite). Honestly, I found too many doujins about creampies specifically. (You have internet access verify this yourself.) When you search Manzokushite the results are much more in line with life satisfaction than sexual satisfaction. ...So Gege decided to use the more frisky phrasing.
Manzoku is also the name of an active sex toy manufacturer (I’m not linking them use a search engine.) and a discontinued adult entertainment news company. So the satisfaction Gojo and Geto talk about, along with Geto using 妬 (ya), the jealous kanji often used between lovers, is definitely probably carrying a sexual connotation too.
So, I’m not reaching. What the fudge did Gege mean by this?
Now that we've established that I am NOT reaching. What do we do with this information?
Well, we ruminate on the fight with the knowledge that Sukuna, of his own volition, decided to get Gojo off, probably.
I have forgiven Nanami for calling Gojo a pervert. If I watched someone bust a nut after being cut in half by his sworn enemy instead of saving the country, I too would be like what the fudge.
Anyways, the typical phrase used for an orgasm in Japanese is 行く(iku). It translates as to go. And yes it can mean to die, as in going to the other side. To die and go to heaven if you will. Which is what Gojo did with a big old smile on his face.
There’s also the term 心天 (tokoroten). It refers to a dish were a semi-opaque white substance is pushed through holes to create noodles. Literal translation using the kanji for heart 心 (kokoro) and the kanji for heaven 天 (ten). (Don’t ask me why them being smack together turns the Koroko into Tokoro. I don’t know.) Which in slang refers to prostate orgasms. This has nothing to do with this analysis I wanted to drop this fun fact in here. …And this image of Sukuna clutching his heart while looking at someone he sent to heaven.
(This is a reach but the idea of this being an elaborate gay pun amuses me greatly.)
I have another fun slang term: 賢者タイム (kenjataimu) which directly translates to sage 賢者 (kenja) time タイム (taimu). This refers to post-nut clarity sending someone into a meditative-like state.
Oh that’s a bit familiar. Sukuna was giving sagely advice to Kashimo and reflecting on satisfaction and love.
And what’s this? Mitashite has made a reappearance! Sukuna is saying “I’ve never thought about needing another person to fill me up.” Which 1. further supports the 'The one satisfying/filling him (Gojo) now is—Sukuna.' reading and 2. suggests Sukuna is a top suggests Sukuna really doesn’t have sexual interest in people. (Since the context of this convo is relationships and love.)
By the way. Acts of eating in Japanese can be modified to carry sexual meanings. It’s a bit more suggestive than English, but it carries over pretty well I think? 肉食系 (nikusokukei) refers to someone who aggresively pursues romantic or sexual relationships. Composed of the kanji 肉 (niku) for meat, 食 (ta) for eating, and 系 (kei) class. If you noticed, 食 isn’t usually read as Soku. It becomes Soku when paired with Niku for some reason. (I don’t know why someone please help me.) Side by side the kanji 肉食 (nikusoku) means meat-eater.
食 is still interesting on it’s own. The 食べる (taberu) reading is normal eating. The 食う(kuu) reading is an innuendo. It can mean to devour someone, like a cannibal, or devour someone sexually.
Sukuna has made it very clear that his eating of people is literal. There’s no innuendo. In fact, if you read into it, he’ll kill you (rip Yorozu and Kashimo).
Gojo, however, appears to be his sole exception to this rule. When Sukuna tells Kashimo not to spoil his pleasure he uses the kanji 興 (kyou). This of course can be directly translated as pleasure, but the Chinese reading of it can also indicate intense excitement or sexual arousal.
Sukuna is pretty good at double-entendre wordplay if his earlier stunts with the kanji for Enchain doubling as Megumi Activities if read a different way is anything to go by. He's a fan of Chinese literature. It's not a stretch to assume there's more going on here.
And if notoriously homophobic Reddit dudebros are posting things like this. Maybe there's a lot more merit to this reading than I can currently grasp.
I’m still pretty convinced Sukuna is aroace. That of course doesn’t bar him from pursuing romantic or sexual relationships. Sometimes there’s the one exception. Sometimes the desire to be with and please an allo partner allows for engagement of activities they aren’t into. Sometimes the actions are pursued without the emotional attachment because they physically feel good. There’s also the gray-scale and demi labels to consider.
With that in mind, I want to emphasize this all points to how important Gojo is to Sukuna regardless of sexuality. He tried to engage with and understand Gojo on terms he won’t for anyone else. And he’s been pursuing this connection relentlessly since the start of manga.
Sukuna’s Negative Rizz
Ok I established that reading the Sukuna vs Gojo fight as unhinged courtship is supported by the text. That doesn’t really say anything about Sukuna sucking at it.
But, my dear reader, that in of itself is proof of his negative rizz. I had to sit down. Learn about Heian era and Shinto wedding rituals, learn more Japanese, splice seemingly unrelated manga panels together, read hentai, and know that Gege is into yaoi to come to this conclusion. I had to rip every little shred of characterization and context apart and rearrange it into something comprehensible.
You know who can’t do that? Gojo.
As far as Gojo is concerned, Sukuna hates him. Kisama is an extremely hostile you pronoun in modern times. And if Gojo can’t tell Shoko (his closest friend after Geto) is stressed over him being used like a meat puppet by her visibly falling back on her addiction, he’s going to default to the assumption Sukuna hates him just as much as everyone else.
And Gojo does just that. He assumes he failed to reach Sukuna. Despite how often they did hand to hand combat and weaponized their knowledge of each other, Gojo believes they never had proper conversation through fighting. He dies not understanding Sukuna, convinced the other was not trying to communicate with him at all.
And if you recall, all of this fight occurred while Sukuna was wearing Megumi’s face. That boy is pretty much Gojo’s adopted child. From my experience, most single parents do not go looking for clones of their kids as partners.
If someone wore the skin of my family member I would assume they were trying to torment me. And torment Gojo Sukuna does. He draws attention to Megumi’s soul being used as collateral and attacks him with the 10 Shadows. We as the audience know this is all for the sake of getting past Infinity using his Shrine. Gojo doesn’t know that. He’s fighting an evil dude who is puppeting the body of his son for god knows what reason.
Seriously, Sukuna sucks at communicating intent.
In Part 3 of my examination of Sukuna’s loneliness, I said Dismantle is a tool Sukuna uses to understand. And that him upgrading it by making Gojo the center of his world was indicative of his desire to reach him. I also said his refusal to use it on Yorozu was him expressing how little interest he had in her.
Yorozu is pissed by this. She sees it as Sukuna rejecting her and I don’t think she’s wrong. Sukuna saved his special Cursed Technique (CT) for Gojo while turning Yorozu down. If we’re considering all the wedding imagery and references that started with Yorozu, I’m certainly allowed to read that as him saving himself for Gojo. (Think of how he lied to Gojo about being the first one he killed.)
There’s also the fact that Yorozu saw their battle as an expression love and lust—that the usage of CT is a type of foreplay under certain circumstances since it is an extension of the self. Combine that with the established premise that fighting is a type of a communication thanks to Maki vs Sumo Guy and you can start to see the courtship logic behind Sukuna’s treatment of Gojo.
If we are to read “The one who will teach you love is…Sukuna” there’s another adorable caveat. Yorozu uses the you pronoun あなた (Anata) for Sukuna.
It’s an informal you pronoun used by people learning Japanese. Native speakers try to avoid using it as it can come across as rude. But in the context of love? This is colloquially called the wife pronoun as its often used by a wife to her husband.
If you wanted to localize its usage in the way Yorozu means it, Anata might become “you, dear”. So here we have Sukuna dressed in white, like a bride to Gojo’s groom, thinking of him as Anata.
The problem is, Gojo doesn’t know that. Sukuna never bothered to open his mouth and say this was an act of love. Sure he told Kashimo in the most roundabout way possible, but Gojo was the one who needed to hear that. If a courtship is going to be this diabolically complicated, there has to be clear hints for the other party. JJK is not Umineko where there’s a witch that can revive the dead over and over until the idiot finally understands this was all for them.
Gojo also doesn’t have access to the kanji Sukuna uses to describe certain techinques or words. He hears the phonetics and runs with whatever best fits the context. This means there’s no way for him to catch the double-meaning unless he’s a certain type of lingust, which he is not. His manner of speech and personal interests don’t line up with the flowery language of the Heian Era. The types of written works Gojo is into are historical war politics from the Sengoku period (known for violence more than the fine arts), Shonen manga, and physics/math.
And what's this? According to CFYOW (the canon light novels): JJK Thorny Road at Dawn, Chapter 3 Asakusabashi Elegy, Gojo doesn't even like ancient poetry. You know, the thing Sukuna enjoys and tries to communicate with.
The Kokin Wakashu Gojo off-handedly disparages is a compilation of Hiean Era poetry known as Waka. This was the primary means of communication amongst the noble class and spiritual leaders at the time. And the thing is, this poetry is supposed to be read into. Down to the quality of stroke and paper, not just the kanji written. Especially for courtship.
It’s not that Gojo is stupid. He just doesn’t specialize in the studies that would give him a more critical ear to Sukuna's words. And Sukuna doesn’t seem to understand that no one in the modern era communicates like this anymore.
If you didn’t know, this is why Japanese characters introduce themselves they often describe what kanji their name is spelled with. Take for example: Satoru. He uses the kanji 悟 meaning enlightenment. This kanji can be read as Go instead of Satoru. Additionally, the name Satoru can be written in kanji as 聡 for smart, 智 for wisdom, 知 for knowledge, 了 for understanding, 哲 for philosophy, 聖 for virtuous, or 暁 for daybreak. That’s 8 different kanji possible if you hear the name Satoru.
This is why Sukuna’s wordplay for everything else can be easily missed by other characters. They hear the words and cannot read the kanji like us. Context decides what Sukuna means for them. And since Sukuna’s context for most is violence and insults, it’s very hard for them to think about his words in any other way.
And boy howdy does Gojo miss it. Sukuna straight up calls him his husband and it took me several rereads to catch it. While mocking Gojo for being unable to open his domain, Sukuna calls him "painfully ordinary". This is localized from the word 凡夫 (bonpu) which can also be translated as unenlightened. (A layered insult! Sukuna is pretty much saying Gojo's sorcery is so boring he shouldn't even call himself the Honored One.)
The thing is...Bonpu is comprised of the 2 kanji 凡 for mediocre, and 夫 for husband. (Please note that there are many other ways to call Gojo a ditz without using the kanji for husband.) And an update from the Replies: Turns out there's layers to the gayness too.
It's come full fudging circle. Gojo came dressed as a groom for a wedding and Sukuna thinks they're already married. The miscommunication is off the rails.
But wait! There's more...
Earlier I mentioned that the kanji for Enchain doubles as Megumi Activities. Let's break that down more. (Unfortunately the Twitter account of the person I referenced may or may not be nuked so here's this screenshot I've doctored.)
So we have the translation of Enchain from 契闊 (Keikatsu), which might be better localized as Separation.
This term comes from a Chinese poem about lovers who are husband and wife in The Book of Odes, Section I (Lessons from the States), Chapter 3 (The Odes of Bei), Poem 31 (Banging the Drum). (Here's a link to the full poem and context of it.)
In summary, it’s about a soldier who is on the brink of death, having lost nearly everything after being abandoned by those in power, lamenting the happiest days of his life with his love are ones he can never get back. (Hey that sounds just like what Sukuna did to Yuji!)
Keikatsu specifically comes from this passage:
“Our vow is beyond death and life”, I and you are together I always remembered. I will hold your hand, And together we grow old.
Too pitiful we are faraway apart, The distance separates us to meet again! Too miserable this takes forever, And it does not let us fulfill our vow!
Keikatsu is used to exemplify how the physical distance between the husband and wife prevents them from fulfilling their wedding vows. And that's just what Keikatsu/Enchain does to Yuji and Megumi, it causes painful separation neither of them wanted.
Keikatsu also tells Yuji exactly how Sukuna plans to do it. 契(kei)闊(katsu) can be written as 恵(kei)活(katsu). The kanji 恵 can be read as Kei or...Megumi. (It's the literal kanji used for his name.) The kanji 活 (katsu) can mean "activities", which is how we get Enchain=Megumi Activities.
A two for one special! Sukuna mocks Yuji for being so close with Megumi while telling him exactly how he's going to destroy their relationship.
It seems this has nothing to do with Gojo until you consider the 3rd possible reading from wordplay with 契闊 (Keikatsu). The kanji 契 when read as Kei refers to a promise, pledge or vow. When 契 read as Chigi? It can refer to sexual intercourse, especially between husband and wife.
So we have 契闊(keikatsu, separation), 恵(kei Megumi)活(katsu, activities), and 契(kei chigi, spousal sex)活(katsu, activities). It's no wonder he erased Yuji's memory of it.
Keep in mind, that when Sukuna uses Keikatsu, the only vow that he has made at this point is his promise to kill Gojo. He eventually does that using Megumi's body during a fight framed between groom and bride. And for reasons beyond their control, Sukuna and Gojo have been unable to fulfill that vow through lengthy separation.
Notes from poem "Banging the Drum" Sukuna references include the following:
"And during the operation, he lost his horse, which was a desperate situation (horses in ancient time carried soldier supply and weapons, are life companion for soldiers in advance or retreat), he lost his horse, his supply, maybe his armor and weapons, and the road he was facing that we may lose his life so he may never go back. In all these mess, he started searching, and somehow at this hopeless moment he started to revisit his happiest moment, when he together vowed in marriage ceremony with his wife, and he was even afraid that he might never see his love again."
"And His last statement for his true value is his home, his love, his fulfillment of his vow is his true duty. Hero's duty is to pursue love."
In Buddhism, which JJK is heavily influenced by, horses are a pretty big deal. Horses can represent the path to enlightenment, especially since The Buddha's horse is what takes him on this journey away from his wife and children. They separate in the end though, the horse dying of a broken heart.
Remember how Sukuna called Gojo unenlightened? He sort of guided Gojo to enlightenment using Mahoraga, whose Eight-Handed title is a reference to the Eightfold Path to be followed for enlightenment. Buddhist enlightenment is centered around liberation from suffering. (Just check the wiki entry to verify this.) Infinity was the source of Gojo's suffering and Sukuna cut right through it.
Sukuna has been running around with a broken heart for a good chunk of the post-Gojo fight. And if you take that into consideration with this poem and all the other symbolism, he's somehow a Buddha, a Bodhisattva, the dying husband, the widowed wife, and the heartbroken horse all at the same time. Not unlike his wordplay taking on every possible meaning at once.
But my point here is that Sukuna might’ve seen his fight with Gojo as consummation of their marriage. (There's probably a joke in here about the husband reaching climax while leaving his wife unsatisfied.) Remember in the wise words of Itagaki Keisuke, "Fighting and sex are exactly the same!"
In Conclusion?
This is possibly one of the most bizarre and elaborate expressions of love I have lost my mind over. Sukuna gave everything Gojo ever wanted from Jujutsu violently. He did it in such an unpleasant and cruel way that the target of his affection thought there was nothing between them. Sukuna also hid his intent under social norms that no longer exist. Unless Gojo happened to be into ancient literature, there was never a scenario where he would catch onto this. Sukuna's failure is critical on multiple levels.
It’s impressive. It really is. No one knows how Sukuna’s strange little brain works so he’s stuck being loner without anyone that fully understands him. (I’m still thinking about how Uraume didn’t know Sukuna was a twin for over 1,000 years.) He’d have to let people in and tell him outright, but he’s just like Gojo so I guess that’s never happening.
#cactus yaps#I need to have my weeaboo license revoked.#How on earth did I miss this?#GEGE WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THIS.#Hi yes I will dress as a traditional groom on Dec 24th the most romantic day in Japan after someone else called the arrangement a date.#Is this even subtext at this point?#Why can’t these men use their got danged words instead of Umineko levels of psychological warfare.#Sukuna: ''Gojo is clearly driven by lust. How do I have s*x with him without actually having s*x?#Fighting and death are basically the same thing as s*x so I’ll do that and hopefully he sees that I love him.''#Gojo to Geto: ''Sukuna gave me the best *rgasm I've had in years. I think he hates me.''#Geto: ''Huh.''#Absolutely fascinated by girlfailures Sukuna and Geto horribly fumbling Gojo in completely different ways.#I want them to fight over him in the most passive aggressive way possible.#Gojo was meant to be a romcom harem protagonist.#Though Sukuna should be way more ok with poly given Heian rules on relationships.#But you know Geto was also ok that someone else was able to make Gojo feel good.#I like that prioritization of his pleasure. Even if it came a little too late.#Much to think about.#Consider this my Sukugo manifesto part 2.#Update 8/14/24: One of these days I'm just going to have to make a new post.#Update Cont: Sukuna calling Gojo his mid unenlightened husband wife spouse all at once using two kanji is truly insane.#Update 8/19/2024: All according to Keikatsu.#sukugo#ryomen sukuna#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#lemons
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s1ep13 merlin, believing he will be dead by morning, goes to say goodbye to arthur and he leans against the door of arthur’s chambers and watches the glow of the fire light his skin golden, full of color and life that it had been sorely lacking while the prince was injured. he stares at the softness of arthur’s features and pressed the line of his profile into memory for while he passes he will wish for nothing more than to see arthur one last time, his smile and blue eyes one last comfort before he passes on to the otherworld. arthur turns to stare at him and frowns at whatever expression merlin is making. the prince kicks a weak foot out at the chair next to him and motions for merlin to join him. merlin slowly shuffles over but ignores the chair completely. he stops in front of arthur who watches him with wary confusion. the tug of his lips and the furrow of his brow sickeningly endearing and merlin allows himself to be selfish and leans down to press his lips to arthur’s.
the prince is sat frozen under merlin’s touch but he can’t find himself to care much about that, not when he finally knows what it feels like to kiss arthur. he hopes that will be his last sensation before the ever consuming nothing, he hopes he will close his eyes one last time only to find arthur grinning at him and calling him an idiot before leading him into paradise where he can watch arthur smile, hear him laugh, and feel his touch for all eternity. he pulls away and leaves before arthur can gather himself to form a response, dropping the letter explaining everything on the table as he passes. so he allows himself to be selfish twice - to take from arthur and to give, to let himself know what is feels to kiss the man, to embrace his feelings for him, and to have the man know him for who he truly is. he wishes to pass peacefully with no regrets. somehow that revolves entirely around arthur.
only…he survives the whole ordeal and yeah has a gnarly scar on his chest but is otherwise fit to return to his duties. which include taking care of the prince. of arthur. who he kissed. and who most definitely know about his magic by now. yeesh.
#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#s01e13 le morte d’arthur#fanfiction#fanfic#fic ideas#prompts#magic reveal#yippeeeeee#angst potential with the letter#did merlin explain that he was going to give his life for arthur’s in the letter? perchance.#now arthur’s in his chambers with tingling lips and parchment held loosely between his fingers#apprently he was kissed by a traitor. a sorcerer. an evil and wicked man#arthur doesnt really believe that. nor does he care.#what hes focused on rn is the part that details how merlin is going to willingly give his life in an exchange#too bad he can’t really move as he’s still weak from his injury and there was no way in hell his father would allow him to leave#not for the serving boy. not again. especially not after his near death.#so he’s stuck in his room and going out of his mind with worry#he spots gaius and merlin reenter camelot from his window and his worry falls into despair as he watches gaius clamber off his horse#and call for guards to help him lift merlin’s limp form and carry him to his chambers#(merlin passed out after the fight from both the strength of magic used to kill a high priestess#and from the pain of her fireball catching up to him bc his skin is literally melting off him)#(not literally but third degree burns hurt like a bitch do he feels his description is accurate)#arthur hobbles toward gaius’s quarters and stumbles in to find merlin thrashing on the patient cot and screaming and wailing#while gaius tends to his burn
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Some unhinged doodles for my buddy @stygianheart and their amazing fic
(。•̀ᴗ-)✧
#loyal till death do us part#I still can’t get over it#fanart#fic doodles#one piece#roronoa zoro#monkey d. luffy#zolu#sort of#chopper#tony tony chopper
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But what makes Merlin the perfect tragedy it’s its end.
Yet, it is not that end, it is not Arthur’s end. It is not the death per se. It is the wait. The end hurts more to us viewers because we witness Merlin’s grief. They could have hinted about the fact that he is immortal, that he lived long after what everyone knew.
But they didn’t stop there. We know Merlin has been waiting.
What hurts more is the pain we see in Merlin’s eyes as he stops on the side of the lake, in a place where that lake is no more, where that life hasn’t existed for ages, now. We hurt as Merlin hurts, because he remembers as we remember, because we’re conscious that we don’t know what is worse:
to die, or to watch the person you had adored most, you had loved most, die by something you should have had under control, while you still live.
And Merlin wishes, but he can’t have.
That’s what’s always going to hurt us. The tragedy could have ended like any other:
with a death, whatever it is deserved or not.
But there is something else to be added, there is a, “what if”, there is, “and now what, will Merlin wait forevermore, will he wish to die too, did he suffer unimaginable pain than what we could possibly imagine, because he has lived so long, he has loved so long, perhaps he has killed and healed so long, and yet, after all these centuries,
and the only man Merlin still thinks about, is Arthur.
Arthur’s death hurts not because he dies.
Arthur’s death hurts more because we know Merlin has died that day too.
But he’s patient.
And the ending reminds us of that.
It reminds us that Merlin is still there, hoping.
But we have no idea for how much longer he’ll wait, and if the years that have passed in which Merlin has hoped, will be repaid with Arthur’s return.
And that’s why the ending hurts more than Arthur’s death.
#because what do you mean that after 1500 years and merlin can still remember#he remembers arthur#of all the people he has probably met and knew and loved#and arthur is still there with him#maybe he can’t recall his face#his voice#his body#but he knows he has to wait#he has to be patient just that tad bit more#but we don’t know that#as he doesn’t know that#the directors put us in his shoes as if saying and what now?#will arthur return or was it all a lie?#does merlin have friends lovers or is he all alone?#has merlin given up on life? what happened after arthur’s death or anyone else’s death?#all we know is that merlin is still there but we don’t know anything else#and that’s the worst part#merthur#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc
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Random OC from Loyal Till Death Do Us Part and also The Sun And The Sea. He’s only a brief character for two chapters in LTDDUP, but I loved him so much I decided to insert him into the other fic as a more prominent character who’s a Marine under Koby’s command…
He’s besties with Koby and also knows about his superior’s major crush on Luffy, so he, uh, he’s kinda done with Koby. :)
(Lazily) Colored version:
The weird ass video of my drawing process:
#loyal till death do us part#the sun and the sea#he’s done#and tired#wish him luck he doesn’t sleep much#Ryan aka “Bryan”#because Luffy sometimes can’t get names right#one piece oc#marines
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One day on the Bridgerton side of twitter has been so unbelievably rank and vile I almost miss Ted Lasso twitter
#I said ALMOST#!!!#but like. the blatant homophobia#fighting to the death over the book versions of characters who are blatantly bad people#ship wars but between entirely different unrelated ships from ppl who do not seem to understand the concept of the show#weird irl shipper territory#body shaming#blatantly calling characters they don’t like ugly ?#as using that as justification for certain seasons worse?#because they personally don’t find the characters as attractive as others?#throwing a hissy fit over like. the existence of all of 4 lgbtq people in Jane Austen roleplay regency era#saying queer women can’t want children WITH THEIR WHOLE CHESTS?#like godddd it’s unbelievably disgusting#I am going to quietly enjoy the first episode of part 2 tonight on my own#and never participate in that fandom ever 💚#Bridgerton
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*breathes in and out through mouth* everyone is scared and grieving and still waiting for news of their families everyone is scared and grieving everyone is scared and grieving*
#Jewish communal leader hurt me very and I mean VE TU deeply today#I mean very#I think in what was to her mind a not passive aggressive way she felt the need to explain the Israeli Side and Israeli history#But like the nail in the coffin was implying that I don’t feel as deeply for the people in Israel#I don’t understand the depth of suffering of the people in Israel#Because I was bothered on Saturday zoom Torah by how Netanyahu has used this for more war crimes#That the fact that I care about Gazans means I don’t feel enough grief or a normal Jewish grief as she sees it for Jews#To me this is jsut unconscionably cruel#Also that the majority of Jews don’t support a ceasefire or at least local Jews#Well if that’s true I want no part of it. Not now or ever again#I can’t believe she felt the need to like. Explain the news cycle to me#I didn’t get this off a tiktok ma’am#I read yo@v g@llant in fucking haaretz. I heard what he said#*no one in Israel is calling for mass death* clearly they are#Anyway she told it was whataboutism to care about the reprisals on a civillians population from what Hamas did#And to feel better being part of a community or doing soemthing active. Maybe read this book on feminism I’ve already read#I’m just so hurt by it all!#Telling another Jew they don’t feel or care enough for ‘am yisrael is the deepest cut there is
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.
#vent tw#death mention tw#okay I need to post this bc I’m. going to explode into a million shattered parts if I don’t#my grandmother on my moms side who lived with us my whole teen years. who I helped care for. passed last night before I could go visit her#and instead of IDK FUCKING CALLING ME TO TELL ME my estranged idiot sister just texts me basically ‘Oop she died 🤪’#what the actual fuck#I deserve to hear from our mom? I deserve to hear like the rest of the fucking family?#my cousin did it right and said ‘call your mom’ but you just fucking take it on yourself?? how inconsiderate and conceited to take that away#how little do you see of me to not show basic fucking compassion??#I will never not hold this with me every time I think of my grandmothers passing#I’m a fucking adult. I’ve lived on my own for 3 god damn years. and yet you can’t extend me the BASIC FUCKING RESPECT of letting me find out#the RIGHT WAY#I broke my no contact out of respect for my grandma. I promised to walk into a house I was fucking prisoner in half my life.#I looked past my pain and my trauma out of basic fucking human decency and she couldn’t wait a few hours to let the news reach me properly#and before I can even say my goodbyes she’s gone and this is how you tell me??#she KNEW I was in contact with our mom again#she KNEW#I lived with grandma I HELPED TAKE CARE OF HER#I picked her off the floor when she fell I made her food when she was hungry I READ HER BOOKS WHEN HER HANDS SHOOKTOO BAD#I knew they were monsters but are you fucking kidding me?? this is so so low I’m in fucking shock#I thank my partner and their family every fucking day for teaching me what real love is#because after you live your whole life trying to love people who are only playing roles for the sake of appearance you can never go back to#the cold lifeless greyscale power plays they call unconditional love#god I just#I’m just so fucking tired
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Kaeya and Rethel both have a favorite method to ward off any potential suitors, and it’s dueling.
#hc; kaeya#hc; rethel#//Wanted or unwanted; it’s the same for the most part. They won’t tend to accept any suitor who can’t best them in a duel#//Rethel in particular favored this after many started approaching her father for her hand; & he suggested she consider them for self-gain#//Still; she stubbornly demanded only those worthy enough to best her can have her; no gifts or sweet poems could sway her otherwise#//Other family members begged her to reconsider; but Anfortas agreed w her bc she claimed it was to ensure their line continued Strong#//Only the BEST for the Alberichs. @ the rate she was going tho; she was likely to end up a spinster. Not that she or Anfortas saw any issu#//Kae does this; bc he got spooked to hell and back bc a slew of marriage offers after Crepus’ death#//Bc folks claimed he ‘needed’ support after everything that happened; esp considering Crepus was slandered. That it would ‘BENEFIT’ him to#//Bc Luc wasn’t there to help get them off his back nor to actively secure of Luc’s hold as the Ragnvindr head for himself#//Some people assumed Kae would be it and made their move to take advantage. which Kae DETESTED for many reasons#//The biggest ones being ‘how DARE they assume HE is the new head of the family now that Diluc’s gone’#//And ‘Oh stars; oh fucking he’ll; he does NOT need this; HE of all people does NOT need nor deserve to be married; oh fucking SHIT-‘#//But yeah#//Both trained quite rigorously to ensure their independence; not ONE person has bested them since#//Esp since they both will pull out all the stops to ensure it; even playing dirty when need be#//Kae is more lax abt this tho—there’s a higher chance of him making an exception if he likes the other enough. & they are ‘safe’ enough#//Of the other muses; Xianyun; Beidou; and Dehya DEFINITELY do this to be done with unwanted suitors; Period. Xian; mostly to test ppl#//Idarias used to as well; but that was before the karmic debt made her more inclined to just try & kill anyone she comes across#//Xian & Ei would follow Kae & Rethel; in terms of dealing with suitors/testing if worthy. In Ei’s case; she’s too focused crushing on Miko#//Sb who CAN beat her can change her mind; or at least if they put up a good enough fight; they can shift her attention onto them#//Taru; honestly the fight is a prerequisite just to get his favor/attention at ALL#//Will NOT be willing to get genuinely close with much less accepting/choosing to court ANYONE unless they can manage to hold their own#hc; cloud retainer#hc; beidou#hc; dehya#hc; indarias#hc; ei#hc; tartaglia
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Ok so I started watching the life series when they were all out so I couldn’t rly make theories while waiting for new episodes
BUT
I thought of a scenario that would be rly cool and sad if it would happen
Ok so, since Jimmy always (perma) dies first and everyone says he has to win if he doesn’t, I thought that what if SCOTT dies first and Jimmy wins it for him…
Full on flower husbands angst
#and then when he’s a ghost or at the brink of getting yeeted out the word he says something like ‘for you my love’#or sm like that#a classic sad romantic line before DEATH#can’t have a life series without lines like that#not saying the one I made was good#it’s literally so cliche#but u know what I mean#lines like you can kill me for keeping my alive so long#we can still be friends#they are for your secret soulmate#Tilly death do us part#the whole scene where martyn kills ren to make him the red king in third life#all that good stuff#trafficblr#flower husbands#solidaritygaming#dangthatsalongname#third life#last life#double life#limited life#desert duo#treebark#hermitcraft#mcyt
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still struggling to find the right words to delve deeper into why it frustrates me that the move into “no but you HAVE to kill people or it’s Baby Shit For Stupid Babies” as a matter of course in genre fiction led all these narratively flaccid and unsatisfying deaths, which led people to start arguing you can’t/shouldn’t kill any important or sympathetic characters at all, ever
which feels like a real overcorrection to me
#like i do get it i’ve been mad over and over throughout the years about how Obligatory Deaths feel cheap and unsatisfying#but also i fucking love a good tragedy just love them SO MUCH#and the rise of “you can’t kill anybody because they deserved better” is like. yeah in a tragedy that is often Part of It#they did deserve better and more etc into forever#(leaving aside my own personal hmmmms about the use of the word deserve in general on these things because oh boy is that a thorny thicket)#anyway i do get it and obviously personal preference is a thing here#but it’s not baseline bad writing to have tragic and unfair things happen in a story i feel very comfy dying on this hill
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leon's handwriting is most easily described as smudged, but mostly legible, highly reminiscent of a scrawled warning jotted down haphazardly in a thriller movie setting, urging caution of whatever danger lies up ahead, ominously trailing off at the end and taking much too long to comfortably decipher.
leon's lettering is often narrow, as leon doesn't tend to move his wrist often when writing, preferring to move his entire hand instead, which can sometimes smear the ink. leon's wrists have become stiffer over time and prone to soreness, after years of absorbing impact from the kickback of various types of guns, this has led to leon and repetitive strain injury becoming very well acquainted. leon is also prone to trigger finger, where the repetitive squeeze-and-release of the gun trigger has led to inflammation around the joint, and can sometimes result in the trigger finger becoming locked in a bent position, and joint popping, which makes writing dexterously difficult. leon prefers to type up his reports using a laptop (or in his younger days working for the anti-umbrella pursuit and investigation team, typewriter) when he can, but while on the field & often in peril, keeping a journal record of events and experiences is done primarily in handwriting alone, as lugging around a laptop or typewriter would only slow him down.
despite leon's handwriting being hurriedly slanted, his letters often sit apart if only barely, shy of eachother, and when they do meet, his letters are often overlapping rather than being tied together. psychologically, if we want to read into it for no reason, that can reflect leon being noncommittal, emotionally unavailable in relationships and prone to one-night stands or relationships that burn out hot and fast, but realistically it's mostly because he's writing too fast to be bothered with even spacing. ink tends to bleed at the edge of each stroke, where leon's pen lingers for a half-second longer. leon's pressure and rigidity when writing is more so like carving the words into the paper, and ink saturation can often lead to the nib tearing holes, and quiet cursing accompanying from leon. you could probably read leon's writing clearly from the back of the paper, from how deeply his handwriting scores in. narrow lettering often means his sentencesarecrampedacrosseachline, and he doesn't hesitate to scrawl into the margins, taking advantage of every centimeter of paper he has access to - leon was excellent at keeping pace while taking detailed notes in the police academy.
* TAGGED BY : @blitzkriegers thank you! <3 * TAGGING : @ubcs, @wintersdecay, @sailento, @weepedwords (luis & pat - pat bc i think leon probably dictates to him when his hands cramp up at home) @valour-bound @valiantines @godstrain @sharp-teeth-and-wide-grins (milton, that rat bastard) @shesancti @wistrea @vulpesse @oathofpromises (ashley :3 ) @snipier @greenherb (i know ada's handwriting probably blows leon's out of the water for sure but i wanna see) @combineherbs (helena + jessica pls ^^)
#take leon's blood pressure while he's writing a report and watch the screen crack#» 🕊️ ﹕ to protect , to serve ,‘til death do us part. (headcanon.) ❧#» 🕊️ ﹕ why can’t it be sudoku for once? (dash games.) ❧
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My teacher said I should try making some of the symbolism in my art less obvious but like.. idk how? Or how that would benefit it?
#stupid snake talk#like especially the knife#he was like ‘we all know what a knife means in art.. what if u made it smth else’#but it’s like.. idk the knife isn’t the important part of the symbolism it’s just a tool to use there#I do not need the audience to come to the conclusion that the feminine one is dying#I need them to come to the conclusion of WHY she is dying#what does this death of feminity represent?#like I can’t see a way where I could replace the weapon with something else and have it convey what I want it to convey#it’s already not exactly a very easy thing for someone to understand unless they have specific understanding of the experience of trans ppl#and more specifically non-binary trans ppl..#so idk if I want to make it even less obvious#I don’t think it needs to be either#like what’s the benefit of making it less obvious.. art doesn’t need to be hidden to have great meaning#not to mention it’s ‘give tangible form to feeling and idea’#I do not feel like I am metaphorically laying my feminine side down gently in her grave#I am violently and unjustly stabbing her in the back after she has given her heart to me#that is how I FEEL#I do not need to change it.. it would no longer be personal#I know he explicitly told me that I didn’t HAVE to take that advice but it pissed me off anyway..
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oof. I just relapsed pretty badly
#and after I was doing okay for a good while#funny how I can fuck it all up on a whim#it literally was just ‘hm I feel shitty restless and irritable. I should do the thing’#and then talking to myself in my head like ‘then fucking do it. you won’t. you can’t anymore you’re weak now.’#and in turn thinking like ‘I will. I can.’ ‘then fucking do it’ and visualizing the steps I’d take to go do it and getting closer and closer#until I decided ‘I’m going to.’ and went and did it#and the shitty part is I felt relief#it felt like seeing an old friend#god I’m so useless and shitty#I’m never gonna be anything and I’m really not sure why I’m still alive#I’m the most pathetic unnecessary sad adult#so many people would look down upon me I don’t blame them#no job no aspirations no college nothing#so many people would look at me and think what are you doing with your life get a job you’re a useless weirdo go live in your moms basement#to them I say#don’t worry#I can’t imagine myself living past 30 so it’s okay#I won’t be taking up space and air and food that other more important people could use for too much longer#I’ll die a sad death all alone and unfulfilled#probably get heart disease due to my friedrichs ataxia#so don’t worry#I’ll be gone soon enough
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I have soo so many poetic and heartbreaking ways to kill myself and I literally haven’t done any of them so I’m taking the big W for that and flexing all of my huge huge muscles so fucking hard
#literally be so proud of me#15 years of this gives one time to think#suicide tw#don’t usually use that tag but as long as I’m being candid about it#it feels like playing chess against my fucking self#the cycle of constructing perfect deaths and distancing from people just to come to my senses and have to rebuild relationships#that part I can fix. the thoughts of how I’d do it don’t go away#and they’ve stacked up over time lemme tell ya#and your brain just can’t stay out of that filing cabinet when things get real bad#such a tempting place to dwell when there’s just emptiness around it#hope is. as always. scarce. but my fury isn’t#and I’m fucking pissed I’m still doing this#so I suppose as per usual I’ll fight fire with fire until I can sedate myself once more#and ultimately continue living day to day in this rotting box waiting for my ship to come in#you’d think I could just try a little harder#someday when I can#I will
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