#weird irl shipper territory

[lunar-years]

One day on the Bridgerton side of twitter has been so unbelievably rank and vile I almost miss Ted Lasso twitter

[gogtopia]

I get your hesitation with talking about Toosh outside of you’re blog. People can sometimes get so weird about shipping women with male friends. It’s like they automatically think your truthing even though you treat it like any other ship. Non-specific to this fandom, you also run the risk of getting a well meaning “invalidating queer identities” lecture and other Goldstar Gay nonsense and that’s not a can of worms you want to open.

(If you post this, which I’m not expecting because it can be seen as discourse and I know how you feel about that, I’m not talking about your anon from earlier, who is so very valid. Don’t want them feeling bad for being a homie)

i will answer this one bc i feel like it’s a good topic to discuss and not polarizing enough where i’ll have demons at my door. but yeah i agree with you i think it’s interesting that people will rarely ship women even when they say they’re chill with it and will jump to conclusions abt ppl who do ship them. frankly i do think it’s understandable to react that way, to a certain extent. there’s a reason that a lot of women in the streaming community like hannah and niki have set boundaries against irl shipping. some people (a huge minority of shippers but still) either use shipping as a means of sexualization or do push over into truthing territory (sometimes with negative sentiments directed towards female streamers). there’s also an issue of people only defining female streamers by the men that they interact with. like qtcinderella is largely just seen as ludwig’s gf despite having a separate career that began before they met. and look at niki who didn’t even have to be in a relationship with wilbur or jack for people to define her by them rather than her own merit as a streamer. so to me, exercising caution when shipping female streamers with men does make a lot of sense, but i think that if all parties involved are chill with it and you’re not pushing any expectations onto the shipping, it’s generally perfectly fine. shipping is just meant to be fun exploration of dynamics you enjoy and rpf is ultimately real person fiction. i feel like people on tumblr are relatively fine with toosh but i think with a generally older userbase more people know how to define that boundary while a lot of the younger ppl on twitter are still learning about the world and slowly reaching the same conclusions tumblr did 5 years ago. it’s an interesting dynamic to watch

[superjumpintomyheart]

North California but Nori asks what the fuck North California is and Callie doesn't know either apparently some Squid Sisters fan (who was also a huge history nerd) started calling them that and it just stuck

Oh yeah wonder how the public react to Nori and the rumors of her relationship with Callie

oh my god wait- i love this so much

(this ended up a little long im gonna cut it just for my own peace of mind enjoy some headcanons)

first off ppl are so excited to see callie going out so much in public just casually and squid sisters fans are like "yes please give us these crumbs of content our first new single in 5 years callie we love u"

then once they get over the fact that seeing callie in public isn't all that rare anymore they notice that she's hanging out with a very tall punk/goth octoling and everyone starts speculating 👀

i just know the tabloids would put out "callie's secret forbidden love?!?!? read more on pg. 5!" articles in their magazines and on the cover for clickbait but... irl.. what is tht called.... irl clickbait....

anyways its mostly the fans who are curious as to who this mysterious octoling is and how callie met her cause it's not someone who has previously been associated with her or the squid sisters yknow

many people are wondering if Nori is like a squid sisters fan that callie is interested in which makes all the celebrity crush bitches go crazy

most fans are genuinely really excited that callie seems so happy and when she's seen with nori clinging onto her arm or hand or touching her jacket the shippers are like "omg this is a huge hint they are absolutely dating" but like, they aren't trying to hide it or anything LMAO callie just doesn't talk to paparazzi

eventually callie would post something on inkstagram like a pic of her and nori together with a heart as the caption and then everyone goes on a deep dive to figure out who nori is, which leads them to finding out her name and basic info like that

someone opens like a discussion post on like... r/squidsisters (LOL im having so much fun with splatoon social media) and its a post like "what is the ship name of callie and her girlfriend nori?" and people in the comments go off about what they think is the best

until this one nerdy squid gets like 100k upvotes and 12 awards for commenting about ancient mammalian history, explaining the prehistoric territories of the "California" state and how they were often referred to as "North California" or "South California" but many people shortened "California" to just "Cali." Also, due to a famous human at the time having a child named "North" who they nicknamed "Nori" the elongated version of Nori(the octoling)'s name would be North, and Callie's could elongate to California and their ship name would be "North California" as a reference to the long gone region.

squid sisters fans take to this idea very well, they begin making ship edits, fanart, fanfics, etc for North California, enough to the point that Nori sees some of it one day

She asks callie what "North California" translates to in octarian, thinking its some kind of inkling phrase she doesn't understand, but callie is like "no babe i dont know what that is either uhh let me try looking it up"

so callie goes on the hunt and tracks down the original post where the comment was made explaining the idea behind the ship name and she thinks its really creative and cool!! she explains the whole thing to nori who is... mostly just confused.

"Ship name? Why are we named together? I am Nori, you are Callie, it is 'Nori and Callie' if we have names together, no?"

"Ship names are mostly for fans, they like to imagine people together so when they talk about them or post about them online it's like a way for them to easily find content I guess! usually they mash the two names together but in this case they got creative. It's just for fun, so apparently we're North California now!"

"Oh, our name for fun, North California. Weird, but I like it."

Nori posts later on her inkstagram thats a pic of her and callie and captions it something like "North California here." and the fans absolutely LOSE IT

"THEY KNOW ABOUT THEIR SHIP NAME?!?!?"

"who told the squid sister and her gf about their ship name"

"OMG North California CONFIRRMED??!?!?! IM SHAKING IN M Y BOOTS"

"i stopped my tableturf battle for this im witnessing history"

and callie comments like "the north to my Cali <3" and her and nori sit there cackling from reading all the fangirls replies

[imagine-your-love-story]

Thank you for encouraging a safe space on Tumblr. It might seem like basic courtesy to leave people be, leave them their comfort and creative freedom, but apparently it's not. As someone who has very questionable self ship poly dynamics, it's.. nice not being scared of seeing "Don't interact if this- dont interact if that" and then in danger of harrassment.

Please keep spreading these vibes of comfort and love - you're a great person whom we need a lot more of in the world wide web

You're very welcome, lovely! :) :) :)

Hoo boy. I have...soooo many thoughts on like....ALL of this. And this post is gonna get LONG because I've opened the can of worms and I'm lettin' it all out :P

The amount of bullying and negativity I've seen in the selfshipping community lately is very painful and disappointing to watch. Tumblr and fandom has always been somewhat of a cesspool but I had hoped that selfshipping was a little better.

I'm not seeing a positive community on a large scale right now.

There are some people who are shining little stars out there of course! But there's more hate being spread around than I can stomach.

I've spent Y E A R S researching and unlearning and pushing back against the psychological and emotional effects of manipulative behaviors like: blame, guilt, shame, and harassment.

I absolutely 100000% believe you can speak to people civilly and state your reasons why you think their behavior is damaging. Without telling them, "You are wrong. You are a bad person." Or otherwise making them feel shitty about themselves.

And I also believe that you CAN allow that person to say, "I don't agree with what you're saying" and you can still have normal interactions with that person without immediately shunning them and labeling them as a terrible person.

People BLOSSOM when they are showered in love, acceptance, and understanding. People are MUCH more willing to listen and heed what you have to say when you give them SPACE to see your point of view (or disagree with you and still accept them).

This culture on social media where people jump STRAIGHT to, "You're a HORRIBLE person because you do something I disagree with!" is, frankly, horrifying and a little disgusting.

Does this mean I condone negative and damaging behaviors?

No. Absolutely not.

But there seems to be this loss of perspective on what is considered "negative and damaging behaviors".

1. It's fiction. Fiction has NEVER been "clean". It's a place of freedom to discuss EVERYTHING.

2. You don't have to feel comfortable with everything being discussed in fiction. I'm not. If I don't like a self-shipper's content because it hits some trigger buttons for me...I don't follow their blog. Because that's my boundary and I have every right to it.

Do I send them messages saying, "You're a toxic person!"

Nope.

Do I comment on their ship that they love and say, "This makes me uncomfortable!"

Nope.

It's not my business.

Also: it’s fiction and there are MUCH bigger problems that require my energy than whether or not I should correct someone’s fictional ship.

Go save the ocean.

Go save the rainforest.

Go save the planet you live and breath on.

Fiction should not be making you angry enough to send hate mail to someone else. Full stop. That should never ever be a priority.

3. Some people engage in selfshipping "negative behaviors" as a way to cope with their trauma. We have no idea what a person has been through and we have no right to tell them that they should stop what they're doing when we do not know where they are on their journey of healing.

It hurts my heart so, so much when I receive messages from selfshippers like you, dear anon, who are TERRIFIED to share their love stories with their characters because they're afraid of being labeled/attacked/harassed by the community.

That's the community letting you down. That should NOT be happening and I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, lovely.

The ENTIRE point of selfshipping was to ESCAPE the people who criticized for shipping yourself with a character that you love. The foundation of selfshipping is that ANYTHING is possible!!! You are limitless!!!

And now people are policing what you can do??? That's...that completely obliterates the point of selfshipping. That's WHY we escaped to our own community!

I don't know if this video is available outside of the U.S., but I highly recommend, the Crappy Childhood Fairy's Youtube video on Cancel Culture. It's a great listen when you're navigating the emotional turmoil of social media culture.

So, if you're still reading after ALL OF THAT :P here are some key points about this blog and my philosophy when it comes to selfshipping:

This blog will always be a judgment free zone

Of course I have opinions! Of course we may disagree on something! But I won't judge you for it. You're allowed to do your own thang! ;)

I will never have a DNI.

If I feel an interaction is crossing into territory that isn't appropriate or acceptable, I'll say so. And if that doesn't work, I'll block and report. But I will never have a DNI on this blog.

Yes, I am an adult. So if minors don't feel comfortable following my blog, it's okay if they don't! I understand!

But I don't have a problem talking with minors because they are human beings and they may need support. I worked in Youth Services at a library for over two years. I know sometimes kids just want someone to talk about cool books and movies with and I'm 100% down for that 24/7 :)

Because this blog is all-ages friendly, I will never post 18+ content because - just like IRL - I make sure that I am mindful of the people around me. I may post some suggestive content that is tagged, but I try not to get too explicit.

I also don’t really think a DNI is necessary for me personally. Of course if I feel threatened by someone, I won’t interact with that person. But if a shipper is into content that I don’t like???? I don’t feel the need to say, “I will never interact with you!” That’s....exhausting. Besides, there are plenty of other things we can chat about! :)

I will always share f/os.

I know some people don't like to share and that's their boundary they can draw if they want to (no shade here!), but I've found that if I don't share, it's a very lonely experience. So I always share and I’m happy to interact if we have the same f/o :)

DMs are always open if you need a shoulder to lean on

If you need to dump or vent or whatever, my DMs will always be open so you can chat! It can feel weird, and maybe you'll feel bad because you won't know what to say!!!

That's okay :)

Even if all you want to do is vent and never reply, I'm happy to listen and offer any words of encouragement and support you need to hear! :)

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[lovetheonlyyouthereis]

Jikook shippers often question why Jungkook seems particularly sensitive to interactions between Jimin and RM.

Considering we know he doesn't dislike RM by any means, and probably isn't intimidated by him in any significant way romantically speaking, it’s honestly a bit befuddling to try and work out why he seems to have a clear aversion to Minjoon’s interactions.

I think Bangtan Attic may have given us a glimpse into what's behind that dynamic. Keep in mind this is PURELY a theory. Feel no obligation to believe it.

1) Jeonlous appears when Jimin says "RM, I love you."

Perfect example of Jungkook’s particular sensitivity to Minjoon. Around 18:25-ish, when Jimin says he loves RM, JK stares at Jimin for a hot sec before the camera pulls away. When it returns, all the sudden he's crouched over/looking down and grasping onto Suga's shoulder randomly (this is the only time in the video that I can recall where he acted this way). The camera pulls away again, and when it comes back, JK has is eyes closed/sighs. (Did no one notice this? Just me? Does someone with talent want to, GIF it?)

I screenshotted the progression because I can, at least, do that:

To me, it seems like he’s telling himself, “I hated that so much, but it’s not a big deal. IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL, JUNGKOOK!”

2) Jungkook admits he feels he's insignificant IRL because he didn't study.

He said he thinks he’s “slower” than other proplr, and all the boys were quick to tell him not to be hard on himself, including Jimin, who said he's "learning about life."

I don't think it's a coincidence that Jungkook's main insecurity is something RM excels at and something JK looks up to RM greatly for. Jungkook is in awe of RM's brain all the time and he says it. And so does Jimin.

So perhaps that, plays into the dynamic of why he often seems significantly more bothered by RM's interactions with JM than with some of the other boys. It’s possibly this weird intersection of JK feeling intimidated by him, not because he thinks Jimin would wake up one day and be interested in RM, but simply because RM has something he greatly admires that he feels he does not: booksmarts. (I have my own Suga-esque beliefs about this, but also don’t want to invalidate Jungkook’s feelings. I feel him!)

3) Jungkook & Jimin discussed RM "monitoring".

This is where things get REALLY interesting and veer deeply into the theoretical. When the question, “How have you changed since debut?” is asked, they all agree to talk about the person next to them, which means Jungkook has to talk about RM.

Guys... the way alarm bells were going off in my head through Jungkook’s whole answer.

Let’s go through it (I’m going to put JK’s words in bold and my analysis in italics):

“I joined our label because of RM. He was really awesome. In my eyes, he was really handsome. I joined because he was awesome and rapped so well.” Jungkook is expressing how he idolized RM in debut days, maybe even more so than he still does now. It seemed like hero worship levels to me. That’s understandable, because RM is an impressive BOSS. But the next line is interesting.

“But then I was soon surprised.” [shakes head] Here, Jungkook seems to be confirming there was, at some point, a shift in his view of RM and based on the way Jungkook delivered this part of his story it, frankly, does not seem like it was a positive shift. Almost as if something led him to being somewhat disillusioned from hero-worship levels of adoration.

DISCLAIMER: If you think I’m about to veer into, “Then Jungkook developed feelings for Jimin and Jungkook hates RM now because he’s burning up with jealous,” territory, you’re very wrong.

“That's when I got to learn about RM. It was just... I started to make sense of things after debut, so I don't remember much before. I only remember having fun and laughing together. But not long after our debut, because RM is our group leader, he had so much on his mind. He tried not to let it show, but he struggled. That went on for a long time. I hoped he would monitor less, and stuff like that. But these days... I think you're doing that less these days. I can tell that RM is more relaxed now.” 

So all this seems rather normal. RM is, in fact, the leader of BTS, and therefore, it is his job to make sure everything is in order. It’s not hard to understand why he would worry and fuss over the members. Even now, I was just understanding this story to mean that Jungkook was saying he wished RM would stop worrying about the members so much because it would be better for RM’s situation.

But now we get to the REAL, REAL interesting part. Jimin jumps in and adds:

“I talked to him [RM] for three hours because of what you [Jungkook] said. Four hours before our morning schedule, I told him we should talk. I sat him down and told him not to be like that for three hours. And then things got better.”

This is where my brain was like:

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.... Let me get this straight...

So, Jungkook notices RM tends to worry a lot, but instead of talking to RM, he talks to Jimin. Jimin then feels so passionate about what Jungkook had just told him that he wakes RM up four hours before their schedule to discuss it (without Jungkook) for THREE HOURS? 

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!?!?

That’s when I started thinking about the words he used to describe what he’d noticed about RM. What I was hearing was, “I hoped he would worry less,” but then I realized he actually used the word “monitor,” not worry.

While to worry means to “dwell on difficulty or troubles,” the definition of monitor is to “observe something over a period of time; keep under systematic review.”

I could just brush off the choice of word again like I did at first, but what Jimin revealed made me think more about the discussion and what Jungkook may have really been getting at here.  Because it’s an interesting choice of word. If we take the word literally (and I’m assuming we can because these were official subtitles uploaded by Big Hit), Jungkook may be saying he felt like he was being watched and reviewed by RM regularly.

What’s interesting to also note about this answer is that there was barely any feedback from the peanut gallery. All of BTS has always acknowledged that RM is a BOSS for how much he juggles and handles, but no one has ever referred to it as “monitoring” and no one in BTS seemed to be reacting in any significant way to suggest they related to JK’s story.

Only Jimin, apparently, who revealed that Jungkook said something to him about RM’s monitoring, which spurred Jimin to discuss the issue with RM for three hours.

To me, if Jungkook was just worried about RM’s tendency to worry about the members, he would have just talked to RM about it personally. It’s not something that seems like it would be particularly hard to talk about, right? There’s nothing particularly awkward about expressing what the boys have long expressed before: That RM has a lot on his plate and they wish to take a load off his shoulders and wish he didn’t have to worry so much about them.

The only reason I can square away why he would talk to Jimin about it instead of RM is that he was actually growing frustrated over RM’s tendency to monitor him.

JK then goes to Jimin with whatever he is feeling about this monitoring situation, prompting Jimin to go and have a three-hour discussion with RM about it. Based on that, it seems to me that Jimin agreed with whatever Jungkook had expressed to him. Because Jimin, by all accounts, is good at following instructions from his hyungs, so I highly doubt he would have a three hour discussion with RM about something RM needed to change about himself unless he himself also agreed with it 100%. And the very fact that the conversation lasted three hours suggest, to me, that there may have been some push back from RM. Perhaps him pleading his case about why the “monitoring” was well-intentioned and necessary?

So, what monitoring could Jikook be referring to that they both acknowledge?

Well...1-800-Save-Namjoon.

We all joke about RM’s tendency to pop up as a barrier whenever Jikook are having an interaction because, honestly, it’s hilarious.We can’t blame him when Jikook are being so damn obvious.

But if we really, really put ourselves in Jungkook’s or Jimin’s shoes, the tendency for RM to hover around them and make sure they’re “behaving” and make sure they’re “in check,” could, understandably, become a bit tiresome and, dare I say, annoying?

And for Jimin, who is great at following instruction, I could imagine it was not quite as frustrating for him as it was for someone like Jungkook, who’s motto is literally, “Live as you want.” If you want to study, study. If you don’t, don’t. If you want to take a nap, nap. If you want to nibble Jimin’s ear, nibble Jimin’s ear.

It reminded me of moments like at GMA when RM really did seem to be playing interference between Jimin and Jungkook’s flirting. Jimin can be quite passive in those situations, just pretending he has no clue what’s happening, while Jungkook does not let up. No, RM, I’m going to flirt with Jimin and you can stand between us while it’s happening if you want to but this is the way it is, bruh.

We joke about these moments, but perhaps Jungkook does get genuinely frustrated that he feels like he can’t do whatever he wants to do without someone playing interference?

So, in conclusion,

My theory is as follows: I think Jungkook revealed that he had a problem with RM monitoring him, and he went to Jimin about it because the monitoring most-likely revolved around him and Jimin (since there’s nothing like a Jikook moment to put RM in his monitoring mode). Jimin, acknowledging Jungkook’s concern was valid, felt the solution was to sit down with RM for three hours to talk it out. After which, “things got better.”

And then back to the opening of this post: Why does Jungkook seem to react particularly to Minjoon interactions?

Well, I think it could, perhaps be a mixture of A) idolization, and B) resentment of the fact that the very person that’s constantly monitoring his interactions with Jimin gets to interact with him freely without consequence.

OK, I hope this all made sense, but my brain has stopped working. Just note that I am not AT ALL suggesting there’s some feud going on or there’s any bad guy in this situation. BTS are all in a super exceptional situation and everyone’s feelings in this situation (whether it’s RM feeling like, as leader, he needs to monitor JM and JK’s behavior or Jungkook, as an individual, feeling RM needs to back off) are valid and understandable.

That is, if this theory even holds any water, which I acknowledge, it may not!

So, with that, I bid you good night!

[discoursecatharsis]

So I very much follow the idea of letting anyone ship whatever, except when it comes to real life, actual people. Some “phan” ( I think that’s what it’s called, idk) called me a hypocrite and I was just wondering what your opinion was on the shipping of irl people. I used to not mind it until I saw how some creators react to it (sorry if this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, idk how to word it without going on a 1,000 word rant)

While I agree with “ship and let ship” concerning fictional characters, I think that when it comes to shipping real people (I’ll use the word “celebrities”), there needs to be more guidelines. Fans need to be mindful that “hey this is a real person with feelings” and act accordingly. 

Some celebrities don’t seem to mind that their fans ship them. Especially online celebrities, like Youtubers. They seem used to it, some get a kick out of it, it’s fine to them. I know Game Grumps have even read fanfiction of themselves in an episode lol. It depends on the individuals. If fans get the “okay” to do so, ship away! 

I know a lot of people ship Kpop guys too and while I’m not familiar with Kpop, it seems like that industry encourages shipping almost? Like the guys kind of tease fans with their interactions it seems, so it’s like they’re encouraging it on purpose (just in general, again I’m not familiar with the dynamics of each specific group and their fandoms). 

But if someone expresses discomfort with shipping, I think fans should be considerate of that and stop. Or at least, they should stop posting their shipping fanworks publicly in places where the person can see it (like posting art on twitter and @ -ing the person or something). I think one of the 1D guys said that shipping bothered him because it made things awkward between him and the other guy since they’re just friends. I think one of the Stranger Things kids said something similar too. 

So yeah, if someone is uncomfortable with the idea of being shipped, their fans should respect that. As for celebrities who don’t address shipping at all (either for or against)... it’s probably safe to assume that they don’t exactly approve of being shipped or at least don’t want to encourage it, so fans should be mindful and not post shippy stuff where they can see it. 

And speaking of the ST kids, shipping real people starts to get into inappropriate territory when that shipping involves smut. It’s one thing to draw/write a 16 year old fictional cartoon character in an age-appropriate sexual situation. But when it’s a live-action teenage character portrayed by an actual real life 16 year old actor, then it’s crossing some lines legally and morally. I think nsfw art/fics of teenagers is wrong in that case. I’m not gonna accuse someone who does this of being a predator, but I’m gonna side-eye them pretty hard if I’m honest.

Even regardless of age, I just think smut of real people in general is a little... questionable. Definitely crossing some personal boundaries. (Unless someone puts themselves out there and says it’s okay for fans to depict them in that way.) 

I also think it’s weird when people ship someone who’s in a relationship with someone else. Like shipping a married person with their friend, that’s probably very uncomfortable for all involved. 

So yeah, tl;dr when it comes to shipping real people, fans should consider:

The person(s)’ feelings towards being shipped

Whether the person(s) are in an actual relationship with someone else

The person’s age when it comes to nsfw fanworks (if the person/actor is underage, just don’t do it. Please. For everyone’s well-being, including the shippers/artists/writers. It’s a bad idea)

Nsfw fanworks in general because people may not be comfortable being depicted that way online by fans. 

[mermaidsirennikita]

What do you think about this whole "anti culture" on tumblr? I understand disliking something and criticizing something, but anti culture is more than that-it's constantly hating on smh, it's trying to make people who like it feel bad, it's trying to claim some moral superiority (like "canon vs fanon", "my ship's purer/better than yours", "I ship problematic ship (PS) myself, but lecture others for shipping other PSs", etc.), it's sending hateful anons etc. It exists in almost every fandom.

I... have a lot of mixed feelings.  Obviously I have no issue with being argumentative (lol I answered a couple of anons in an argumentative manner today) but to me there’s debating and there’s actively seeking trouble and I’d prefer to stay out of that PERSONALLY because while I have a ton of opinions I consider some opinions more important to me than others.  Like, do I love every ship that comes across my dash?  Not at all.  There are many I loathe.  But it’s really not worth my time or energy to bitch about it.  I do. Oh, I do.  But most of the time that involves me messaging or texting my mutuals/friends privately.  I was more into being super loud about my fandom opinions a few years ago, but now I’d prefer to write a super fucking long essay that I’ve thought about for a bit vs. just dashing off a three-sentence post every few hours.  I also feel like I do a lot more of my talking in my tags, and that’s more private on Tumblr, you know?

I do think there are some incredibly problematic ships out there.  I ship some.  BACK IN MY DAY--and anyone who’s followed me for a long time knows this--I was like... the resident Incest Shipper.  I had about three or four sibling ships I just kinda circulated.  Obviously I abhor incest irl, but it was a problematic thing I shipped, and I still have some of those ships though incest isn’t popular on TV as it was a while back lmao and thus there is less for me to ship.  But the thing is that though I shipped these ships, I never romanticized them.  I recognized them as fucked up.  My canonical ending for most of them in my head was “they all die”.  I didn’t think it was okay.  I didn’t want anyone to run off together or *coughsaveWesteroscough*.  I called out my own problematic-ness and basically acknowledged that a lot of my interest in these ships was based on a) hot actors b) chemistry and c) my own interest in tragic ships and what is more tragic than people who can never and should never be together and will probably end up dead?

I do think there are limits.  Because the way we view fiction does reflect the way we view real life, and I think that if you are not shipping consenting adults with consenting adults, you are not in good territory.  Any ship that involves pedophilia, I don’t think you can defend with “it’s fiction, I know it’s wrong!” because there are plenty of kids on the internet who can fall prey to being groomed if they get involved in fandoms that are down and chill and groovy with pedophilia-related ships, and also that’s just... beyond.  Like, if the actors playing people you are shipping are an adult and a child, that is a real fucking child you’re sexualizing right there.  I don’t feel like I can explain the wrongness of this in comparison to other things, and it shouldn’t have to be explained.  It also, frankly, is a part of a very big issue online rn which involves children being groomed through subliminal messaging, not by anyone outright being like “want a candy bar little girl”.

There’s also an element of me that says... whatever.  Sure, you might get your feelings hurt because people are calling you out on shipping weird shit, but maybe you should.  If it’s perpetuating harmful ideas, if you’re writing fanfic that involves rape or a number of other fucked up shit that I see on here... be prepared to get called out.  Back when I shipped Cesare/Lucrezia on The Borgias, I think I was pretty tame, but I still got anon hate and I just kind of was like “yep figured I would anyway moving on”.  Buck up, buttercup.  Tbh, there is much worse than some of the hate I’ve seen people receive on here that they freak out over.  Much worse off your computer, to be exact.  And it’s not fair, maybe, but you should probably be prepared for that.  For me, nothing on here can be as bad as my real life has been for the past few months lol.  That’s not even the worst that my life has been, and many people have it 10000000000000000% worse than I do.  I think you do need to have a thick skin on here, because not everyone will agree with you and there will always be toxicity in fandoms.

But what is an “anti”, really?  Is it someone that disagrees with you?  We’re all against something, you know.  Obviously the biggest anti thing I see is anti-r*ylo, and I don’t super like that ship either though I don’t care enough to express my opinion.  Or anti-j*nerys, which I have expressed my opinion about a good bit.  Everyone has a problematic ship, but I think the issue that “antis” have with those ships is the weird cultishness around them, the insistence that they MUST be canon (when canon is hardly the end all be all) and the fact that they’ve sort of taken over large chunks of the fandom.  I follow “antis”, and I’ve seen people for their ships be twice as vicious as they’ve ever been.  People claiming moral superiority are hardly the only ones sending hateful anons.

Also, you can indeed shut anon off and if it’s a problem you should probably do that.

My opinion is basically: that sucks, check yourself and your own behavior if people call you out, some will be right about your own issues and maybe you can fix that, but also some will just be assholes to be assholes.  And while fandom is usually based around fiction that somehow reflects reality, as all fiction does, it’s not real.  That’s so important to remember.  It’s not real.