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I also understand the appeal of Han/leia to leia specially so much more now. He has 0 things to do with the Force and is deeply stupid but he can kinda hotwire a car for her and also has 0 plans to take over the galaxy. Both her dads would hate him. He has chest hair

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thank you season 2 though for giving me the concept of comphet kleya/melshi for the comedy of it though

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more shot taking for stuff I never thought I’d write but have at least mentally

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writing smut like ok a short break for trauma backstory. A commentary of the realization of economic inequality through dental care. War crimes. Another for space!catalan traditions and the performance of sanctity. This is a smut fic ergo time for anal sex. Everyone here is dead in all the ways that matter

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wuthering heights literature✨ quotes on here are so funny because the original sentence will be like "'ARGHHHHH CATHY IM GONNA TEAR MY FACE OFF I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I HATE YOU ARGUAJHDJAJS' cried Heathcliff, before slamming his face into a tree until it bled." and then the tumblr excerpt will be like "'𝒾 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑜 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽❤️' -emily bronte 1847" like. okay whatever you want i guess .

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ok on another writing mood moment today with something else I never thought I’d write

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I mean yeah I feel this way for many reasons but who could forget this dialogue which was the peak of realism

my desire to write accurate padmé insanity versus my desire to never subject my eyes to the prequel trilogy ever

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there’s also something so unbelievably fucked about the fact that like. Honestly it’s narratively fine and kind of interesting if leia DOES have children or if she DOESN’T, but the sequel trilogy just kind of threw that out in the trash to make her have a son at like, 24 in the immediate fallout of the war and then fuck up the whole concept of motherhood for her by making her just this vessel of the skywalker line and the fandom-blamed bad mother who has the evil son out committing the exact genocide that killed her people all over again but bigger this time and she’s so reduced to being the flesh connector of the male skywalker line it’s terrible writing but it makes me burn with rage. It’s the most dark and depressing thing imaginable. Either leia would have fucking had that abortion or she would have only had a baby she super super wanted and was 1000% on board with and would have been friends with. not that every plot line with pregnancy has to have perfect reproductive choice etc etc things can be fucked up but this is LEIA who refused to let anyone ever have control of her body who has deeeep rooted bodily and sexual trauma after being tortured by Vader and imprisoned by a sex trafficker and also had a wonderful relationship with her parents who she was very close to and whom she knew chose her by choice… she would never have a baby that wasn’t by choice as well. the kylo thing is not Her Fault but everything about that writing feels so counter to her character

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like we have characters who go use the force Luke and may the force be with you and we have chirrut imwe for whom unity with the force is a form of rebellion and personal peace and we have characters who feel kind of apathetic to it like cassian - the force and I have different opinions - but then here’s leia who has such good reason to fucking hate the force and to be afraid of it. To detest it. To detest this idea and the idea of this destiny and the entire concept of its faith and what that faith requires and to refuse it and to refuse that it be a part of her story. There’s an infinite magical power that might be yours but it doesn’t have to be. Your path is your own. She might reclaim it but she refuses because she refuses the power and she refuses to give up her lipstick collection and designer heels to put on ugly brown robes and she refuses the right Vader claims on her and she sets her life to the magic of public policy and the cold metal and rain of her galaxy. She may see the dead but all survivors do. She will be unholy and attached to the world around her and the memory of her family who love her forever

I’ve had such an interesting evolution with leia organa because she and the destruction of Alderaan was always the part of the first movie that made the biggest impact on me but somehow I also always kind of saw her as a lesser character to Luke or thought it was sexist that the narrative didn’t let her be a super cool Jedi with a glowing sword because that was leaving her out of something. And now as an adult I really appreciate how messy and complex and straight up morally complex she is in those first scenes - she has no power left but she will lie to Vader, there is nothing left but her, and she is wagering numbers of lives he will kill against others with the knowledge that almost certainly someone will die and she will have to choose who in order to protect a single army base - but I also really think about how much she would hate Vader and even the concept of the force. Because he tortured her and he killed her entire planet and her parents and not only that, he fucked with her psychologically and tried to gaslight her I to thinking it was her fault. And the force helped him torture her, the force is part of what he is. Leia doesn’t NEED to be force sensitive, but even more than that, I don’t think she’d want to be. I think she wants to think of herself as being made of the ordinary planetary of atoms and cells without any talk of midichlorians or trusting the force or any of that. I think the concept of having that force in her would disgust her and feel almost violent, like an intrusion, a violation tied to that very distinctly violating way her torture was shown in a new hope. That isn’t her and she doesn’t want it to be and it doesn’t have to be

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this story about how much leia hates Vader and the very concept of the force could really go straight into some fucked dark space magical realism horror territory

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In the final throws of writing what I swore I’d never write

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Incorrect Star Wars Quotes: Shrinking

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happy may the fourth to my favorite scene in the whole franchise

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This song IS about leia organa btw in that bail is Abraham and Vader is the god that wants to watch her bleed…. She IS the last remaining Canaanite and the dancing flame on the funeral light!

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I’ve had such an interesting evolution with leia organa because she and the destruction of Alderaan was always the part of the first movie that made the biggest impact on me but somehow I also always kind of saw her as a lesser character to Luke or thought it was sexist that the narrative didn’t let her be a super cool Jedi with a glowing sword because that was leaving her out of something. And now as an adult I really appreciate how messy and complex and straight up morally complex she is in those first scenes - she has no power left but she will lie to Vader, there is nothing left but her, and she is wagering numbers of lives he will kill against others with the knowledge that almost certainly someone will die and she will have to choose who in order to protect a single army base - but I also really think about how much she would hate Vader and even the concept of the force. Because he tortured her and he killed her entire planet and her parents and not only that, he fucked with her psychologically and tried to gaslight her I to thinking it was her fault. And the force helped him torture her, the force is part of what he is. Leia doesn’t NEED to be force sensitive, but even more than that, I don’t think she’d want to be. I think she wants to think of herself as being made of the ordinary planetary of atoms and cells without any talk of midichlorians or trusting the force or any of that. I think the concept of having that force in her would disgust her and feel almost violent, like an intrusion, a violation tied to that very distinctly violating way her torture was shown in a new hope. That isn’t her and she doesn’t want it to be and it doesn’t have to be

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so the thing is that I’ve already vented a few of my thoughts on wheatfield force baby and how much I hate everything about it, but it really did draw my attention to some of the serious emotional potential around the issues of the children who already exist in the narrative, about parenthood and the emotional and physical responsibilities you have to your children, the “I’ll be worried all the time/that’s just love.” And it drew my eye in particular to the issue of “lost” girls, to the actually somewhat parallel shapes that Kerri and Leida cut in season 1, to something Lila says in the close out of the recently finished my brilliant friend tv series - io sto così perché ho perso mi figlia. Forse è viva, forse è morta, pero non riesco a sopportare nessuna delle due possibilitá. (Roughly: I am like this because I lost my daughter. Maybe she’s dead, maybe she’s alive, but I cannot survive either possibility.)

because that’s at the heart of the narrrative of both Kerri and Leida, in different ways - cassian who lost the younger sister who was implicitly forced on him to take care of, who was made his responsibility, for no fault of his own, and Mon who knowingly gives her daughter who in so many tiny ways has already been lost to the mere possibility of a rebellion, Mon who takes her daughter to her own living grave. The dual weight of cassian and mon’s very real Missing Daughter complexes could have been, if handled subtly, an absolutely fascinating and constantly quietly brutal through line to season 2 as they (cough the protagonists of this show cough not luthen cough) step into their roles as leaders of the rebel alliance and into not just killing but emotionally manipulating people and then being forced to live with the consequences of what they’ll do for the rebellion. How to handle the weight of his grief and his guilt Cassian has emotionally deluded himself into believing his sister is still alive or at least still findable and to handle the weight of hers Mon has deluded herself into believing her daughter is, on some level, already dead, or at least gone all along. But it can’t be survived, either option, like nothing else on this show can be survived. They never say this out loud, of course, either of them, but you could get the manipulative back and forth of cassian who believes for unstated Reasons that a man with a daughter is a great mark to manipulate because obviously he’d do anything to see her again, and Mon who thinks that’s a bad gamble to make because a lot of parents just don’t actually like their children that much. (There was also a lot to dig into the fact that Dedra meero is a girl who had been lost and had very much been found by the empire. She’s in this too. She’ll destroy them all.)

and then it made me realize how this is, actually, at the heart of the story, because in a very very real way mon mothma and cassian andor gamble the entire fate on the rebel alliance and the entire fate of the galaxy on the possibility that both saw gerrera and Galen erso would do absolutely anything to see their daughter again. Cassian may be all about hope but his hope is pragmatic - he, on some level, truly believes that both the leaders of a rival rebel cell his own isn’t on friendly terms with an an actual imperial officer will gamble their entire fates on the vague chance they might learn whether or not their adult daughter is alive. Both Galen and saw think she’s likely dead. But what if there’s a possibility they can survive that she isn’t? What if? What if?

and that’s what it’s all about, in the end. It’s about how no matter how much time has passed and how scarred and broken either of you is, you’ll do anything, anything at all, to see your daughter again. That’s what it’s about, tony gilroy, that’s the hope. If rogue one is about the woman that the girl who was lost became - and it is - then Andor is about two of the people who lost the girl. That’s the goddamn circle.

“i’m looking for a girl from kenari.”

“When was the last time you were in contact with your father?”

And the thing is. They gamble right.