#Dead men talking

[bet-on-me-13]

The weirdly competent Doctor

So! The Watchtower's Medical Bay is a hub of constant Activity. With the number of Heroes who work under the Justice League, there are always injuries, health check-Ups, and illnesses that need healing.

But with the amount of Variant Biologies that those Heroes have, it's always a guessing game as to how to help them best. Some Metahumans react positively to penicillin, but others react like it's their Kryptonite. Some Aliens have anatomy similar to Humans, others are so different you can't tell the Stomach from the Bladder.

So when they hired a New Doctor for the Medical Bay, they had to run him through an entire Course on Variant Biologies and how best to treat specific Heroes. It was long and difficult to remember fully, but it was necessary for him to know.

But then the new Doctor started correcting Them.

"Actually, Martian's react better to the Syrup of Eucalyptus Plants better than Penicillin, since Eucalyptus is very similar to a medicinal plant from Mars which they used in many of their antibiotics."

"I don't think just pumping double doses of sedative is the best way to calm down a Speedster, that could have adverse effects on their body. Perhaps try Psychic Intervention? Their minds move a Mile a Second, but if you can calm them down their bodies will follow suit."

"Of course you use Micro-Doses of Kryptonite to operate on Superman! What else would you do?! I don't know, maybe ask JLD to enchant your Equipment to make use of Kryptonian suseptiblity to Magic? The Kryptonite is just gonna give him Cancer!"

Of course the Doctors didn't take kindly to being rudely corrected by a newbie, and Fired him on his first day.

Then a few days later their usual Treatments don't work, and they decide to give those strategies the Quack Doctor gave them out of desperation.

And Lo and Behold, they work! Martian Manhunter is fully healed and feels much better than the previous times he has needed surgery. Apparently they used a different Antibiotic that worked better with his Biology. Which was incredible, how had they figured it out?

Another Doctor you say? One who was experienced on Martian Biology and Medicinal History? He would very much like to meet with the man!

...

What do you mean you fired him for talking back?!

[technically-human]

A gift for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are

Often, when they commission me, I receive a list of prompts to choose from. I feel bad for the ones that I don't end up drawing, so here's one of them: a helluva crossover. Guess we could call it... Helluva detective agency lol

And here's some lore

Edwin is an Incubus from the Lust ring. However, he wants to be a detective, and is not very interested in the seducing people, even when it could help. Still, demons are often attracted to him, despite him not trying! The one he wants, though, doesn't seem all that interested...

Charles is an Imp from Wrath who ran away from home. Unlike many imps, he doesn't want to become an assassin, so he ends up acting as Edwin's bodyguard, even though the incubus can't really pay him... And turns out, he's not half bad at this whole detective thing himself!

Crystal is an Infestor demon from Envy. Her job is, of course, to mess with people's head... but someone messed with hers, instead. Without memories and not knowing how to use most of her powers, Crystal ends up being helped by the boys.

Niko is a demon from Sloth. She hasn't yet decided what she wants to do with her life. Maybe she could become a nurse? but while in the middle of some personal matters, she came into contact with a parasyte that stole her energy. Truly embarrassing for a Sloth demon!

[blindinghope]

favourite part of rdr2 is arthur holding his belt

[ineedhjalp]

Edwin Payne canonically reads cheap romance novels with gay male characters and likes them. Just in case you didn’t know

[sennenrings]

star wars au because I've been watching the clone wars with my friends. they aren't representing any particular characters. Remus is a Jedi because I think it fits him, Severus and Lily are two senators that Remus is supposed to be escorting, and Sirius and James are smugglers coming along for the ride.

Severus: Do you have a plan, Master Jedi?

James: Fear not Senators! You're in great hands! Severus: Can't he just use the Force and get us out of this?

Lily: That's not how the force works....

Sirius: Hey when we're done can I have a go with your lightsaber? ;)

Remus:... we're so going to die

please do not repost my art

[girlvasectomy]

BYSTANDER

[cary-elwes]

Cary Elwes + being cute and dorky and adorable

[metamatronic]

can we get confirmed sexualities and pronouns pleaseee? 🥺🥺🥺

tbh i genuinely believe most of this cast has not given it much thought.

Michael (he/him) somewhere on the demi/ace spectrum, he never quite figured it out.

William (he/him) gay (that may have been the cause of those marital issues, womp womp)

Elizabeth (she/her) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunno probably bi???

David/C.C. (he/they) aro/ace

Charlie (she/her) also probably bi

Ennard (they/them) fiercely aro/ace

Henry (he/him) bisexual (evil edition)

Mark/Phone Guy (he/him) straight

Cassidy (she/her) i truly do not think she’s thought about it

Nick/Phone Dude (he/him) pan

Amy/Tape Girl (she/her) lesbian

Jeremy VR (he/him) straight probably

Vanessa (she/her) pan

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[purple-petrichor]

Thinking about 457 and. You know it’s a toxic ship when No Children by The Mountain Goats would actually be…too optimistic for them

[corpsephrog]

i really cannot do cryland srsly and not even cus i'm a payneland shipper like when i was watching the show all the flirting just felt so unnatural and uncomfy i was like "this feels weird is this supposed to be weird"

[yantao-enthusiast]

i think some of y’all need to start seeing ben like you do jeff like he’s a bit silly but ultimately the agreement boils down to some of y’all agree with ben’s view on misty even before she does anything wrong. like he was already treating her like less than human when he doesn’t know a single thing y’all hate her for. like he doesn’t see her as a teenage girl, he sees her as an annoyance. he can’t have a conversation with her about her feelings (he’s very likely aware of them before the crash) and he allows it to escalate, knowing that misty’s an outcast and just needs someone. he doesn’t say anything, even when he grows resentment, because he’s scared of her? someone he’s refused to understand since the beginning? he’s a grown ass man. he has had so many opportunities to put an end to it but he doesn’t because he doesn’t know misty at all due to making his own assumptions before anything and refuses to change his mind.

[sakumira-agashi]

When you get to trauma dump at your boss and coworker's wedding. Based of that one part in the fic where the sexual tension is so suffocating that he had to talk to Francis about it

(Boss with Benefits, omegaverse AU)

[jewishbarbies]

“they’re not spam blogs, we vetted them!!”

yet here I am, blocking a duplicate of the same blog that sent me the same ask for the 4th time (the 3rd time today) along with another duplicate of the same blog I’d already blocked and reported that sent me the same ask they tried sending last week. and both of them still read like a fucking chatgpt prompt.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

this is final!!!

james- little shirt, big pants

remus- big shirt, little pants

peter- little shirt, little pants

sirius- big shirt, big pants

with the ONLY other option being:

sirius- no shirt, no pants, he's been dumped in a ditch somewhere by his boyfriend a guy thrice his age

[transsexula]

No. Google. I'm actually looking specifically for trans MEN. I know a lot of articles talk about trans women. But I'm specifically looking for stuff about my subset of the trans community. Why the fuck are trans men so hyper-invisible.