#just one of those ships that gross me out for no explainable reason

[corpsephrog]

i really cannot do cryland srsly and not even cus i'm a payneland shipper like when i was watching the show all the flirting just felt so unnatural and uncomfy i was like "this feels weird is this supposed to be weird"

[pochaccopipi]

Thoughts on Kuya, autonomy, and his refusal to be "captured"

(spoilers under the cut)

This SSR story is sooo good because it really fleshes out Kuya's all-encompassing hatred of being owned? Not just in a literal sense, but in an obligations/expectations kind of way too. He repeatedly states over the course of the game that he shouldn't be forced into a box, can't be defined by human morals, and has so many wildly different facets of himself that they're basically autonomous copies running around in alternate timelines.

He insists that Elysium allows visitors the right to choose if/how they participate. He seems to hate injustices that trample one's freedom (unless he's the one perpetuating said injustice— in which he considers his actions Wise And Necessary™️). He loathes being claimed as a prize. He also clearly hates being pandered to, especially when his suitors have ulterior motives and expect him to stay by their side forever. He hates when humans assume what he likes, and commit crimes against nature in order to please him. He spent centuries at Huey's side (literally indentured to him in a life-or-death contract), and even spent time in service to the lord of the yokai himself, who forced kuya back into his fox state when he was found during a suicide attempt. He was literally voided of essence to the point that he had to relive his most vulnerable years again. He experienced a loss of power and autonomy that probably felt like a betrayal. Granted it was a punishment intended to teach him humility, but it probably just traumatized him instead.

(This may also explain what happened on the Saian ship with Huey, when he was discovered in his true yokai form— something went wrong with corrupted essence, they couldnt teleport back to Klein as usual, and he burned the ship down when someone spotted him looking "beastly". It hit too close to home for him.)

Prior to meeting Eiden, he'd run out of things to enjoy in life, and turned to torturing small forest animals just to get some dopamine flowing again. He's a sadistic contrarian piece of shit but it makes sense that he feels rage against immortality/life itself, and probably approved of Huey because they shared an interest in exploring new horizons (not to mention the massive power boost he got in return).

So in this SSR r5 when he pauses in relief/shock after eiden tells him he cant force kuya to stay by his side forever, it all kind of clicked into place for me? Everything about kuyas character screams Do Not Attempt To Capture Me. He literally exploded a roomful of men who tied him down in Rusted Nation. He made a group of gamblers claw their own eyes out for daring to look at him with sexual intent. He even destroys offerings from other yokai who put him on a pedestal. He hates being expected to do anything for anyone for any reason, because those expectations often come with gross connotations or lasting debts, and have been repeatedly imposed upon him without his consent in the past.

His biggest fear might literally be losing control again.

(Of course he's a big hypocrite and does everything he hates to other people? And sometimes doesn't even realize he's doing it? Like in Astral Duo when he asks Quincy if he's done "something unforgivable" to Eiden, as if Kuya himself doesn't do unforgivable things on a daily basis).

Idk. He's just fascinating to me and I love how he seems to be driven by a pathological need to escape. He's not unaware of his weaknesses, as evidenced by him flinching when Eiden reaches behind his blind spot. He seems to be terrified of capture in every sense of the word, and does everything possible to overcome that.

Like a cornered animal :)

[offtorivendell]

On Elain, Gwyn and their apparent romantic worthiness.

TW: mentions of death, violent or sexual assault, infertility and pregnancy/childbirth related trauma. Please do not proceed if these topics bother you.

Disclaimer: please, please engage with this post with kindness. I promise I am not writing it to stir the pot, but because I - and many others - are fed up with seeing hurtful and harmful rhetoric spewed by the fandom, yet having no back up when dealing with it. Word vomit incoming, I'm sorry. This has been bothering me for a while.

My love to everyone who has been hurt by things they've read in this fandom. 💜

It's 2024 and I cannot believe we are still seeing posts, almost daily, about both of these women; all giving reasons why they cannot possibly be with Azriel. And I don't mean the debatable but utterly harmless discussions about Elain not looking good in black or Gwyn blabbing to Merrill when asked not to. Whatever, go nuts. I mean the truly horrific takes based around things these two women have had no control.

Now, my post history makes it very obvious where I stand in terms of ships, and yes, I'm well aware I've spoken before about the inherent power imbalance - that I perceive - which would exist if Azriel ever became involved with any of the priestesses in the women's shelter he is charged with protecting (to be clear, that's not me suggesting that Gwyn and her story isn't powerful, or powerful representation to those who see themselves in her, nor is it personal to Gwyn, or indicative of any of the sheltered priestesses and their ability to heal; it's purely a function of Azriel's position of authority over their sanctuary). I want to reiterate that my stating my feelings about this was never done with the intent to shame people who do ship them; we all ship who we like, and real world ethics should rarely come into it.

That being said, the following, in my opinion, is one of those times.

Firstly, I just want to say that lived experience informs how we interpret fiction, so please let me clarify something: the people who have said that they don't think Gwyn is ready for a relationship yet, and that NSFW fan art of her with anyone makes them uncomfortable, are not in any way in the wrong. They're simply the other side of the coin to those who find it empowering, and both are valid responses, often related to personal trauma. The problem lies with those very few who say that Gwyn could never have a romantic relationship, and call those who talk and/or post about it "gross." Some have called her "damaged goods." This is absolutely wrong and whoever is doing it needs to stop.

The entire fandom, even those who find romantic or NSFW content involving Gwyn uncomfortable to consume, frequently acknowledges that her trauma doesn't define her, and of course she should be able to enjoy love whenever she feels ready for it. Those who say otherwise are readily condemned from all corners. I've seen it happen and called the people out myself, as have many other Elriel shippers when necessary. However, Elriels are still very regularly and very publicly blamed for the actions of a few (some of whom I truly believe are burner accounts wanting to cause chaos, with their Elriel themed usernames and no post history), despite our largely collective action to call them out when we see it.

Could we do better? Absolutely, but so can you!

Because, on the other hand, I've noticed that, whenever I or others have tried to explain why the pliable bones "theory" - which attempts to reason that Elain could never be endgame with Azriel, as she and any baby would die during the course of pregnancy or childbirth - is equally as harmful, we are met with people publicly and wholeheartedly refusing to understand why (especially recently). Some horrific comments have been made to my friends, not to mention all of those I see well after the fact, which are never widely condemned by any but us. People will argue back that we're wrong, and have even suggested we're weaponising infertility! On Mothers' Day, of all the fucking painful days to say that.

Some of the push back I've seen recently includes:

"Nobody has said Elain is infertile."

No, nobody has, and that's not what we're saying or have ever said. We know you don't think this, as the Elucien fandom loves to write and draw Elain and Lucien's hypothetical future children (which is super understandable, as this is a romantasy fandom after all - no shame, enjoy your warm fuzzies).

What we are saying is that, if it's true that Elain's anatomy wasn't changed as Feyre and Nesta's was - and to be clear I cannot stand that entire plot, I wish SJM had chosen literally any other reason why Feyre's pregnancy was dangerous, as it is simultaneously degrading and doesn't fit with her previously established lore - then Elain and Azriel, together^, would be functionally infertile. Yet it's only ever framed as Elain's body not being able to work with Azriel's, never the other way around.*

^Why didn't the bat boys have to sacrifice their wings to keep their wives/mates safe? Why did the women have to change their anatomy? Because it would make it harder for them to be all powerful? Well Nesta sacrificed her powers! Why not just have Feyre be cursed by an enemy or something, and Nesta found a way to use the Dread Trove to save them all. Ugh. I love SJM's books, but this was such a miss.

*HOSAB/HOFAS SPOILER: funnily enough, this was never said about Ruhn and his eventual mate, even though he actually did think he may be unable to father children, thanks to the Oracle's prophecy. People shipped the hell out of him and a couple of different women throughout the CC series, despite the chance he could never get them pregnant.

"People haven't called Elain damaged goods, so it's not the same. We're allowed to not like her."

My faerie porn* lover in christ, what the fuck do you think the pliable bones "theory" is actually doing? It is suggesting that Elain's hypothetical inability to survive having children with Azriel, and for those children to also survive childbirth, is impaired. Ergo, she's damaged.

We don't care if you don't like Elain, we're allowed to have different preferences in characters and ships. That has never been the problem.

*I use this term with affection as a great lover of the genre.

But "damaged" vs a functionally "impaired" uterus? It's the same damn thing, and sorry, it's misogynistic af, not to mention ableist and homophobic at a minimum. In the same breath you are also reducing your favourite to her apparently functional uterus (even though the pliable bones argument is medically inaccurate, by the way - this is really damning of the state of health education across so many countries).

"Hahaha/lol."

Yes, I have seen people laugh and treat this as a joke. As recently as tonight, in fact. It's disgusting.

Regardless of your lived experiences and shipping preferences, both of these takes about Elain and Gwyn are equally degrading and horrific and need to stop, but if you're only calling out the comments that hurt you/your friends/your ship and not the others, then you should maybe attempt some basic self reflection and analyse those double standards you're carrying.

This entire fandom needs to do better. I'll say again, for the umpteenth time, to any of my fellow Elriels that if you think mocking Gwyn's past is funny, then you're not mature enough to read an adult series. But this works both ways, and if you think mocking infertility is funny/use it as a win, then you're just as immature. I would really and truly appreciate it if we were not left alone to argue over and over again why discriminating against someone who couldn't "have a man's children" is wrong, and why many, many people in this adult fandom - that is largely comprised of women! - might find such a theory, and the resulting discourse, incredibly upsetting.

Infertility hurts; not having a kid when you want one can be viscerally painful. Besides that, I know very few people who have given birth who don't carry around some sort of emotional or physical trauma from doing so. Treating a character's hypothetical infertility with one man as a joke is gross.

Please don't call Gwyn "damaged goods" or suggest that Azriel would choose somebody else over Elain because she couldn't have his kids.

They are the same thing.

It's not hard to be kind. Pain is not a competition.

We should all do better, and take care of each other.

[andreal831]

i have heard a lot of people deny that Marbekah isn't a problematic ship, and if anyone ever discusses the issues it's usually about Marcel choosing NOLA over Rebekah. But never the fact that Rebekah knew him a child.

And usually the defence is that Rebekah (like Elijah) wasn't an active parent after Klaus' jealous tantrum. I admit that Rebekah didn't fraternize with child!Marcel with the sole purpose of dating him, so traditional 'grooming' definition is hard to apply.

But Rebekah never set any kind of proper boundaries between them. When he initially had a crush on her, she should have explained that they're 'family' now and that's not how it works, thus stopping his crush from going further but not drive him away. She was the adult at that time.

On top of it, Marcel grew up watching Klaus-Rebekah's messed up dynamic. He was a traumatized child who watched these stuff being normalized by two of his white guardians. And the show has never been subtle about Marcel being raised in Klaus' image, or how much Klaus & Rebekah date people that look or act like eachother.

Oh and the casual disregard for adopted kids.

Why do you think Marbekah goes under the radar for this, when Caroline+Alaric, Stelena , Delena and Klaroline are often ripped apart for this exact reason?

Does it have anything to do with Marcel being poc or is it the infantilisation of Rebekah's character?

I used to really love Marbekah. They were top 3 TVDU ships for me. But the more I think about it, the more I have to rewrite to keep loving them. And I do want to love them just because it is one of the two ships I loved that actually got an endgame. But in typical TVDU fashion, the ships that got endgames were so problematic.

I don't think anyone can say Marbekah isn't problematic. It's one thing to love them, but they are deeply problematic for several reasons. One of them will always be Marcel constantly choosing either Klaus or New Orleans over her.

But the bigger reason is Rebekah grooming him. Because there isn't another way to say it. Rebekah knew Marcel as a child, helped raise him, and then quickly got into a relationship with him. We don't really know how old he was but he was at least in his early twenties when they first got together.

For the most part, as you said, I just headcannon that Rebekah wasn't an active parent in Marcel's life. But the show actively tries to fight against that narrative. The scene where Marcel is a literal child saying he wants to marry Rebekah was meant to be cute, but it's gross considering they then have a romantic relationship. You do mention that it doesn't fit the traditional definition of grooming, but I think it does because of that scene. Marcel makes a comment about being attracted to Rebekah in a way that he wants to marry her as a child and instead of seeing Rebekah rebuke this, she is flattered and essentially gives him a goal, saying she wouldn't marry someone who couldn't beat her in a duel. Not that she couldn't marry a child or someone her brother was raising as a son. This is then paired with a flashback of them dueling when he is an adult and they begin to kiss. The fact that they are still dueling all those years later make it seem as if she had an active role in his life. Rebekah's failure to set boundaries and encouraging the crush is a form of grooming. As you said, she should have set him down and explained family. But also as you point out, Rebekah doesn't really understand healthy family.

Marcel being raised by the Mikaelsons turned him into a Mikaelson. In some good ways and some bad. Marcel definitely has a lot of similar traits to Klaus. I definitely think there is an aspect of Rebekah choosing Marcel because of that, but also simply because the Mikaelsons had to keep it in the family or Klaus would lose his mind. Even though he also lost his mind here. But at least Rebekah wasn't worried about Klaus killing Marcel like he had killed every other lover she had in the past.

Klaus stans will say he "punished" Rebekah because of the grooming, but that's really ignoring his entire character and the entire show. Rebekah took something that belonged to him, because he viewed Marcel as property more than a child. This is another reason people overlook the grooming, because people don't view Marcel as a Mikaelson or as a child of Klaus. I've always been curious of where the last name "Gerard" came from. Why wouldn't he go by Mikaelson if he was raised by them? Klaus gave him a first name but not their last name? Potentially Marcel dropped it to distance himself, but even in the flashbacks, we don't see him truly being regarded as a Mikaelson. The show did this because they understood they were walking a creepy line of predatory/incest.

I think Marbekah tends to get less judgment than the other ships because people think Marcel and Rebekah are morally superior than the other characters. This is not true for everyone, just something I've seen with both of their stans. I love Rebekah, but I get attacked if I ever criticize her for how she treated the teenagers in TVD. Or the fact that Rebekah dated teenage Matt and used money and the ability to travel to persuade him to be with her. Or when I compare Marcel to Klaus, because they do have a lot of similarities. I've noticed with a lot of characters who may have less terrible deeds under their belt get away with murder, literally. If you criticize them, people will respond with "You like x, and they've done worse," instead of holding their character accountable. Or like with Klaus, their abuse is used to excuse all of their misdeeds.

People will argue that Rebekah was turned as a a 16 year old teenager so she was a teenager and it was fine for her to date teenagers, but then Marcel being with her at 25 years old is problematic as he's an adult sleeping with a 16 year old. Or Even Damon who was turned at 24 years old. So that argument is still problematic.

I do think Marcel being a POC does play a role. POC children and teens tend to face "adultification" in media, so people are less concerned about them being groomed or taken advantage of by adults. I do also agree that Rebekah is often infantilized. I blame a lot of her behavior in TVD for that. She behaved like a child. But in TO, they matured her so much, even in the flashbacks. If TVD Rebekah was with Marcel, I think that would have felt creepy on his part.

Like I said, I do still enjoy Marbekah, but I can't think about it too much or it grosses me out. I do prefer my ships to be age appropriate and contain the least amount of toxicity we can expect from a series like TVDU.

Thanks for the ask!

[roadhogsbigbelly]

ok i didn't really want to do this because i deleted the original posts when it had only 70 notes because i was under the assumption noone would see it but t/xttletale ended up reblogging it anyway and now i have people telling me to kill myself in my inbox so i guess i might as well give details

honestly did not know she was trans until people accused me of pedojacking her, for some reason it never registered because i guess i only see her blog when her posts pop up on my feed but you know my bad i guess

2)yes it's true the term "loliporn" never shows up but someone does say "don't say you're pro-kink and nasty gay sex if you're not supportive of ageplay, cnc, or incest shipping" and than she said "yes, and" which like. seems slightly like an endorsement? but i assume that loliporn was just kind of included with the package, because i do have evidence that toonimal would not be against that

3) i never directly called her a pedophile just that it's really fucking bizzare to have that hot take about "wholesome games" when you agreed with a take that said not liking incest porn or ageplay is "anti-kink or whatever

now did initially censor the names in the post because of reasons i'll explain later but i did realize with no context it looks like both posts were from the same person so i did end up mentioning in the tags that there were two different people before later deleting it all together. but i honestly don't feel THAT bad attributing it to her because she did both reblog the post and than also add on to it, which kind of negates the possibility she didn't fully read the post? still i did censor it again for reasons i'll explain later.

4) i kind of went out of my way to not attribute anything to her. when i talked about her weird stardew valley take i still censored them, because after being told to kill myself for having a lukewarm hot take on sex work last year i usually always censor posts when criticizng/making fun of them. i'm honestly surprised she managed to find it because i deleted it when it only had like 60 notes, and the only reason i found out she found it is because one of her followers sent be an ask telling me to kill myself. and out of curiousity i checked her blog.

i deleted this post before i post this just so her follower doesn't get harassed or whatever. but you know. not fun.

and 5) while i insist i didn't directly accuse her of being a pedophile i DID in fact accuse the person she was agreeing with of being a pedohpile. cause they are.

i'm not going to post the entire callout post cause it's honestly really fucking gross but tldr they run a "contact positive paraphilia forum" which is a basicly code for "actually fucking pedophiles" which kind of recontextualizes they entire post right? that's also why i went out of my way to censor txttletale's name and than later specify there were two different people before deleting it. because i assumed she didn't know the person she was agreeing with was an actual pedophile, but accidently agreeing with a pedophile is uh. not good. i think, someone actually informed her that toonimals was a pedophilia and she said this.

now i'm not saying you have to do a background check on every person you reblog from but if that post talks about "how pro-sex freak people need to be more supportive of people who are into incest" than actually yeah you do sort of have an obligation to make sure they aren't an actual fucking pedophile. the entire basis of that post is "people should stop being mean to actual sex freaks" and you not only reblog it but add onto that yeah that's a fucking issue because 99 percent of time the people who make those posts ARE actual fucking pedophiles, so yeah you probably should be a bit wary. because like.

this is my issue, i don't think you're a pedophile because you don't think there's anything wrong with fiction/sex acts that depict immoral things, my issue is that that logic is used and agreed upon by actual pedophiles. pedophiles are agreeing with you! that's not great! there's my issue with your logic!

[cloudyswritings]

Dear Cousy

Hello! How’s the weather?

I don’t know if your a Minecraft fan but I need to know your opion on Enderman Biology. My brain keeps telling me that as primordial agents of entropy they just DONT have biology but that seems boring and you are the best Spec Bio person I know I need answers

Respectfully Frantic

-Clever-Naming-Convention

As always the weather is cloudy!! I am indeed a Minecraft fan though I’ve never really done biology for it so bear with me!(and sorry for the late reply!)

Let’s get right into it!

Why do Endermen hate water?

So this really puzzled me at first, and I was kinda scratching my head for a bit honestly, until I thought about it a little more.

See the Endermen are supposed to be uncanny, enough like what we know to be familiar and yet unsettling enough to scare us. Fundamentally they’re unlike us.

So I added one and one together and realized that hey, what if Enderment were NOT carbon based lifeforms?

And wouldn’t you know it, when you add water to silicon it creates silica, which , notably, would destroy the organic molecules that silicon can create.

So, to answer the question, Endermen hate water—and take damage from it— because exposure to it literally starts turning them into glass. Really makes you wonder about the end pillars doesn’t it…

Moving on: What do they eat

Despite being found around end ships and end cities, it’s clear our lanky pals didn’t build them. Yet we know they can pick up and move blocks and tend to do so with some frequency in the overworld(and nether). So what’s that about?

We’ve got a couple options here, but my favorite of the bunch is that this is part of how these fellas eat. See it would track that being silicone based life Endermen would need to absorb minerals and such in order to survive, this could by the reason behind why they pick up and then place down blocks.

Essentially they’re absorbing the silicone and other necessary components from those blocks and then setting them aside when they’re done.

Adding to this I also wonder if they might be radiotrophic, that is, using radiation to feed. This is largely based on the ends resemblance to space, which has a much higher amount of radiation than on earth meaning it would be far more viable as an energy source under those conditions

Also some earth fungi do actually use radiation like this, and wouldn’t you know it, they’re generally black because of how they use melanin to safely process said radiation into useful forms.

The Endermen could very well be doing the same thing with a silicon based equivalent pigment.

this would also explain why we never see them eating in game.

Long story short, Endermen use radiation and minerals from blocks they pick up(absorbed through openings in their carapace on their hands) to survive. But cloudy, I hear you asking, what about the chorus fruits? Don’t worry, we’ll get there, and it’ll be far more horrifying than expected.

Next up: Of Men and Mites:

So what the hell is the deal with endermites?

Obviously they parasitize endermen, that’s their whole deal. But seemingly there aren’t really any negative side effects for the men explaining why they had the mites, again aside from parasites being gross.

Well, what if I told you that endermites are why we have ender pearls!

See when an endermite infects an enderman they instinctually head for the reproductive organs, where they begin to dissolve the spore-glands(we’ll get to that in a bit) and begin making cocoons where they will lay their eggs. These eggs eventually develop into larval endermites which burrow out of the enderman when fully grown to start the cycle again.

This renders the enderman infertile(and leaves chemical traces letting other mites know they aren’t a suitable host anymore) hence why they hate endermites.

However if and enderman is kill before these eggs can hatch, well, they don’t exactly survive outside of an appropriate host, and boom. Enderpearls. Incidentally these pearls still retain the larval mites ability to teleport, which we make great use of, at the expense of dealing with fragments of enderman ovaries/endermite egg casings damaging us when we teleport.

Also the fact we can get at most 4 pearls from an enderman tells us they’ve got four spore glands

To recap: Ender pearls are endermite eggs and occur when a mite infects and Enderman and dissolves it’s spore glands/ovaries.

So, about those spores:

Endermen are much like the common fern

yeah, so what the fuck do I mean by that?

I mean that they have two adult reproductive stages.

Stage 1: is the Endermen we know and love, and stage two is the Chorus fruit.

Adult sexually mature enderman will release spores that float through the end island on the breeze until they they find a place to take hold and root. Generally large groups of Endermen will all release their spores in synch, sorta like how corals spawn when the moon is full.

Once rooted these spores begin growing into Chorus fruits, which are occasionally predated upon by Shulkers, though generally it’s the stems of the “plant?” that they consume.

Once matured, a Chorus plant produces flowers, which are then cross-pollinated to ensure genetic diversity. Once this is achieved Chorus fruits are produced, which given time will form a large shell/egg like husk from which a fully formed adult enderman will eventually emerge. Think of butterflies and their chrysalis.

Interestingly the Endermen actually serve a role similar to butterflies, see because in their Chorus plant stage Endermen are immobile they can’t relocate or ensure the survival of their genes if conditions worsen.

By producing Endermen who then range far away from their home forests they ensure their genes survive and increase genetic diversity as a whole. This also explains why Endermen are capable of extremely fast movement/teleportation. Their only job is to get as far away as possible.

Basically, Endermen are fucked up silicon based ferns, and they attack you when you look at them because they mistake you(or not) as a threat to their ability to spread their spores. Also eating chorus fruit means you ate baby Endermen.

Wow! This really ran away for me, thanks for the cool ask @clever-naming-convention!! I’ll definitely be doing more with this cause I’ve got more thoughts

[cowardlybean]

ok so

beyond being gross and weird I think there’s something to be said about the lack of literary analysis in proshipping (this post is about mp100 in particular but this can apply elsewhere)

there’s two points I’m getting at here: lack of understanding of the characters being interpreted, and intent of author

first of all, the common rebuttal to “he would not fucking say that” is “it’s just fiction and for fun” (which is just a really common rebuttal for everything but that’s beside my point). But that point lacks acknowledgement that their interpretation isn’t based on the source material. For example: Reigen, the guy who notoriously stood up against a terrorist organization to keep kids from being in danger, being interpreted as a pedophile (there’s no soft way to put it). It’s going directly against what is set up in a (in my opinion) disrespectful way. Also there’s a point to be made about trampling over platonic relationships for the sake of shipping and how that applies to proship but i digress!

There are methods to have characters act in ways they would not normally. In fact, most of my favorite fics across all of my fandoms do this!! What they all have in common is an understanding of that character that explains what pushed them to the point of deconstructing their own morals and values. “Wouldn’t it be fucked up if this happened?” works so much better when you can see how it led to that point. And even then I’d venture to say there are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed, knowing these characters do in fact belong to the author, but me drawing lines in the sand isn’t going to be accurate to everyone’s view. It’s always going to be a nuanced topic!

Second of all is the importance of authors intent when reading. Rather than applying this to the base media, however, I’m pivoting focus onto those creating proship content. What is their intent while writing? Through unfortunate exposure in Multiple fandoms I see these common reasons: fluffy content with or without acknowledging the ship being (for lack of a better word. i wish i knew a better one) problematic, dark content such as gore or rape, or (there’s no way to put this lightly) jackoff material. Keep in mind these are generalizations, but im also not giving some of these people the time of day to add defenses.

The “fluffy” content I can sometimes see as the author of the content not understanding the consequence of the ship itself (incest and pedophilia bad) due to a multitude of factors, and I genuinely do think there are learning experiences for them in non negative or aggressive ways. Dark content I can make a case that this is a form of self harm whether intentional or unintentional, however for some this gets looped into the last category. Finally, it’s pretty obvious some people just yank their shit to incest and pedophilia and I REALLY don’t think I need to explain why that’s bad. Point is, it’s important to consider proshippers intent, and how it’s more complex than just gross people who are intentionally malicious. I think there’s learning experiences here for every proshipper, however those who refuse to acknowledge that their actions have consequences (entirely different post to make there about how proshipping can in fact have real life repercussions) I hold a special vendetta against.

To conclude I’ll say I’m not someone who calls myself an “Anti”. Do I hate proshipping? Yes, absolutely I do. But I also enjoy fiction with darker topics that are handled in a critical manner!! Think Oyasumi Punpun. Good manga btw, absolutely horrifying though. I don’t think dark subjects should be kept out of fiction but I do think they should be handled with care.

[n4talia-chaparro]

"Omg 5 days without posting?! Lmao so funny."

Yeah I get it >|:/

I wanted to make this post cuz a lot of you were so "CoNcERnEd" about me and the allegations made by the anons. And well in case people wanna find "info". I kinda don't care if people wanna keep attacking me and shit but yk. I have to speak up and explain.

So I wanna start by saying that what I did last Thursday and Friday was very retarded and dumb of me and I highly apologize once again. I was not in the right mindset and it was never my intention to ignore anyone's advice. I have been mentally unstable and stressed that I couldn't focus. Yeah. I was having anger issues and a meltdown. I couldn't control them so I'm apologizing for the way I acted that time without thinking straight. It's not easy to be a CU artist because of what's happening and I admit it's not easy for me to be perfect like you guys wanted me to be. I tried everything yet you guys seem to judge and shove words in my damn throat.

About the allegations... the anons were also after one of my moots so I wanted to explain and debunk them. It's giving me a headache and overwhelming the living shit out of me.

(BTW pls I do NOT encourage harassment or any sort of threats to anyone mentioned in this post)

The grooming: this allegation is false. I'm sick of seeing them throwing the allegations around like it was some sort of volleyball-type shit. (I'm A MINOR !!! Not a adult-)

The reason why they were spreading those is because of my grooming situation I had a few years ago when I had 9-11 (and UNSUPERVISED). It all started on amino and I met my groomer. (I'm calling them M cuz yea). M and I were close friends and we used to talk. My groomer was a Krupp x Melvin shipper, a pro-shipper obviously, they would force me to do NSFW roleplay and art based on their favorite ship. (Keep this in mind I was younger at that time and I never knew how to say no to them) and they even guilt-trip me and stuff just make me feel bad and well. They would often force me to ship them too...yikes...

One day we argued and their friends decided to cause drama in the group chat. They pointed fingers at me and called me a predator. Again I was 9. I wasn't aware of what proshipping is until age 12. A lot of shit happened. I got threats, harassment, etc. And at the age of 13-14 I was groomed by someone different um yayy...:/// I was never taught about the internet safety.

And that's where the "Natty is a groomer" bullshit came from :/

I'm 16 now and to this day I keep receiving those rape threats and stuff over my past and then seeing people spreading those is dumb. The anon even went to Linavloger's blog to send a rape threat and told her I was gonna groom her. This is fucking disrespectful. Lina is Younger than me, she's fucking 13. I find it disgusting that you guys choose to tell her that. It's gross for fuck's sake. What is your problem????? For the love of God stop spreading that allegation. Not only you are making me uncomfortable but also the others who were involved. Literally, stop.

My trauma is not for you to joke with it or use it as a shield. It's gross that people are making fun of me for that. No I mean yeah. My past wasn't great because I met people who already sexualized me too many times but it doesn't mean you have to bring it up and tell everyone about it. :"(

The sexualization: The anon mentioned that I sexualized Harold in one of my videos which is again funny yet bullshit because according to them it was because of a pride month pin and small accessories..

When I say pin i meant this- 😭

Like I'm so sorry but how is this sexualizing him? It's a Pride Month pin. A PIN. How the fuck can yall be this stupid. It was an old video and you took it so seriously????? Like what???? Have you read the 12th book??? There's no way you think it's sexualization when it's Harold with an MLM pin.

This also goes to the AGERE subject. I do NOT normalize nor promote ddlg. There's a difference between ddlg/ageplay and an ACTUAL coping mechanism and I'm tired of hearing this bullshit over again like stfu so uh.

Ddlg/ageplay is where random ass adults roleplay as children and do weird shit.

Agere on the other hand is where someone reverts to a young mindset to cope with trauma, stress, severe illness, or disorders. (Mainly a safe way to cope ofc)

These are the differences between them. You cannot just tell me it's the same shit dawg. 😭

The "ripping off" thingy: another thing that I wanna address is about the au :/

The anons that I dealt with were just infini-tree fans/supporters and tree house members. Well idk. They may sound like whiney little cunts but still-- my AU does NOT have any similarity with THAT. Why would I steal ideas from someone who BLOCKED me for no reason and sent her fans after me??? No really how? How can a blocked user steal ideas if they can't see, or interact with the post (like & reblog)? Be real y'all. You may seem ridiculous if you believed those anons cuz none of them didn't pull the evidence out of their ass. 💀

"You need to apologize to her" for what? Dawg I didn't do jack shit to her in the first place LMAO yeah like--- don't get me started on that bs again. I don't wanna hear her damn name, I don't wanna know anything about her aus and shiii-- or anything related to her in my inbox or dm. I do NOT wanna have anything to do with that individual. End of the story. Not trying to be harsh, rude, or anything but like. It's annoying. I don't like to be compared to anyone or deal with the same bullshit.

Mhm yea like man. Idk what else I need to debunk but pls don't believe those anons dawg.

You can't even ask for proof cuz they don't gave any 🥰🥰💀💀💀‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭 LOL IMAGINE FABRICATING ALLEGATIONS Y'ALL ARE SO DUMB 🗣‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥

[stregoniconiconii]

maybe it's because i've been working on my own transfem stevie fic for ages now and so i have my own very specific headcanons, but going through the tag is truly . it's not the greatest experience. for me. there are surface level reasons for this and also far more insidious reasons.

like there is the matter of me not really shipping steddie or harringrove. this is surface level. i just don't like either of their characters and i find the fans of the ships and those characters annoying. this is life in fandom. it means that most of the time, if i want to read a fic about stevie, i must also suffer reading about eddie or billy, neither of whom i care about. again, such is life. it's fine. ship what you want.

but. but. i do not like how transfem stevie gets written a lot of the time either. whether it's in posts or fics. there's a lot of ideas ppl spout that they have not actually examined. many of which feature transphobia/transmisogyny. and i have to see them. and it sucks.

bc. like. why do so many ppl write stevie's bf du jour as gay. like this is often specified. eddie is a gay man who has just found out that his boyfriend wants to be a woman. wow how does eddie feel about that? i dont care. thats what a lot of fics are about tho. yay. eddie isn't even gay, its just a popular headcanon. altho some ppl believe in it so much they've convinced themselves there are hints of it in canon. there isn't. there are some ppl out there who do feel at odds with transfem stevie and eddie dating bc they believe so strongly in gay eddie. which is fine. eddie can be bi. or straight. i think a bi realisation is fun and i think its even more fun when the bi realisation happens in reverse to what is expected. but there are a number of works out there that still insist on eddie calling himself gay. when he has a trans wife. and i do not like that. it feels invalidating to stevie's identity as a trans woman. it's also. it's not about stevie. it's about how her boyfriend feels about his partner transitioning. most of the time.

i also do not like so many ppl feeling the need to explain why stevie and robin aren't dating in this au. like. there's a few reasons why so many of those posts rub me the wrong way. there's some that are obvious. i distinctly remember a post that posited a PANSEXUAL robin and stevie attempting to have casual sex. first off. there's zero need to specify a pansexual robin. it can just be regular old lesbian robin bc lesbians are attracted to women and. forgive me stating the obvious here but. trans women are women.

that's just one post. but there are MANY that state that robin and stevie do not and will never date bc it is "disgusting". that is often the word used. disgusting. it's meant to be funny perhaps? some joke about stevie and robin being sisters and incest is gross. okay. well they aren't sisters. personal headcanon time but i dont think they see themselves as siblings, canonverse or otherwise. i think they're just friends. and i dont like seeing all these posts saying that kissing, having sex with, or dating a trans woman is "disgusting". it upsets me. more than once ive seen robin being upset with/at?? stevie for being attractive to her and still somehow unavailable to her. bc ? she knows that she does some gross/embarrassing thing? they know each other too well? so they can obviously never date. which is. honestly it's just confusing. do you think couples dont know the other farts? that they don't know each other? but again the image invoked is that being with a trans woman would be gross or embarrassing. that's not a fun thing to hear about.

sometimes the reason given is that they've known each other too long. they spent so much time only thinking of each other as friends that it's weird to think about the other in a romantic light. okay that can happen. but again this is usually accompanied with robin being like. kinda mad at stevie for being hot as a woman. so she's attracted to her? but not bc she knows her gross habits too well. but maybe if she had met her now, and not before she transitioned, then they may have gotten together. so the fact that robin knew her as a man is putting her off dating her? wow. that has some implications. i've seen many reasons as to why stevie and robin can't date, except really the most important one: that they don't want to. they're happier just being friends. it never occurred to them to start dating each other bc they're happy with the way they're relationship is. but that rarely comes up. the fact that it would be gross comes up far more often.

you don't have to write about stevie and robin dating. or having sex. or being anything other than friends if you just want them to be friends. seeing this same idea repeated over and over again, that it would be gross for them to be together, just makes it feel like you are overcompensating. like maybe you do believe they could date and be very happy, which actually would be fine. it's a niche au and has very little to do with canon so i don't think it means that you secretly want stobin to date in canon. but honestly? the way ppl speak against stobin dating in this sort of au implies that they are still primarily thinking of canon steve. in a transfem stevie au. which i think colours the way they talk about stevie's relationships, not just with robin but also with other characters. i think they are thinking of canon steve pretending to be a trans woman. which is. well, do i need to say it?

i also can't believe i need to say this but ppl who want to ship a lesbian and a man together will just do that. they already don't care. why would they jump through those hoops of genderbending a male character when they could just write what they want to write? no one is stopping them. you can post whatever you want on ao3, for better or worse, and if you actually delved into the tag you would see that the way transfem (or even cisfem) stobin is written is very different from canon stobin. there are completely different kinks going on. it's as asinine as believing that men will dress up as women to attack women in bathrooms, imo. like. they don't need to do all that, they can just attack women in bathrooms. and they often do. that thought might be too harsh but i do believe it's the same sort of sentiment.

i think that's sort of the crux of my issue with a lot of transfem stevie content. the idea of canon steve is too forefront in her creation. she is a woman but still male enough to date a gay man and also still male enough to not date a lesbian. and it's not about her. it's not about stevie. it's upsetting. i don't like it. i think transfem stevie deserves better.

[wickjump]

idk if you already talked about this but what are your opinions on dreammare? Or swadmare (Fontcest for example)

(ps- I don't ship any of these)

-🇩🇪 anon

IM SO SORRY i went on a tangent german anon… ik you don’t ship these im just rambling,, no harm to u

i think incest is bad and weird and even in fiction its still gross and when portrayed as another cutesy normal ship it desensitizes people, especially younger audiences, to those subjects and can in fact make them ship it as well.

if you post dreammare art religiously, some 11yo is gonna see it, think it’s cute and ship it themselves. and then bam your weird fetish became some child’s unknowing process into a community surrounding the normalization of being sexually aroused by the rape of characters or fictional children being assaulted by adult characters. that 11yo who entered the community, who make a lot of content of their new favorite ship, will become even more desensitized to pedophillia, incest, and rape in fiction.

believe it or not, this does in fact affect reality. if all that goddamn kid sees is grown adults talking about how sexy it would be if this character was raped by a relative, that child might not feel anything is wrong with the way their uncle grabs their waist because that’s sexy, right? they may even begin having a misplaced crush. or how their older brother asks to practice kissing with them. that’s what everyone online ships and thinks is cute, and that child thinks it’s cute in art, so they don’t think anything is wrong with this.

and this is probably the most simple way of explaining it. that’s not touching on how the proship community makes people angry by promoting an us vs them mentality. “people against proshippers are puritans!” “anyone against proship is an anti, and they’re terrible people who will dox and harass anyone!” (don’t believe me? i got an ask just like this ~1 week ago lmfao)

guess what? that kid will see that and believe it. if someone tries to say what they’re participating in is weird, they’ll register that person as an anti and refuse any help. that kid will be pushed further into the community and grow up on the internet alongside it.

this isn’t my exact story, but i know this because i was basically that kid. i started consuming frans content at age ~11 (a victim of SA btw), which then developed into shipping other unsavory things, which then developed into participating in the proship community (around 2020/2019? the time when it got an established and popular name for itself). and then im fifteen years old and willing to date adults on the internet LMFAOOOOO. not fun. I don’t think this kind of shit should even be given the time of day especially on my page but i also feel like someone sending this kind of question irks me as though there was a possibility i’d say yes to liking it or whatever. also:

“What about the adults in the pro community that say they don’t support that kind of stuff?” the creator of saw probably doesn’t condone murder but if a 7yo watched it every day of his life he’d probably react a lot less to gore. a warning (which is scarcely added, when’s the last time you saw someone clarify they didn’t support incest while posting dreammare?) won’t discourage anyone. it’s still sexualized, it’s still made to appeal to an audience. that goes in one ear out the other very easily.

“What about adult only spaces in the pro community?” ignoring the fact that the proship community is mostly public on all platforms and has no way to block out minors from seeing any of their shit, kids also lie about their age.

“Then it’s the kid’s fault for lying about their age!” that is a pre-pubescent child. they will do stupid things without realizing the gravity of it all especially when being influenced by older people

I wont answer any other asks regarding if i support/don’t support proship content or ships, bc i don’t and now that i’ve given it my most descriptive and detailed reasoning for why i don’t see a reason to give other things like this another detailed response lolll

sorry german anon i know you weren’t expecting this kind of a response 😭😭😭 i just get tired of stuff like this really quickly + people like to put words in my mouth it seems. when you include your trauma with the subject pros seem to quiet down real nicely when faced with the reality of what they’re doing, which is why ive not gotten many asks from them before and very very very few harassment ones. SORRY AGAIN THOUGH!!! have a good night 🙏

tldr:

no i don’t like incest.

[jikookuntold]

thank you for that, I went down a rabbit hole and needed a level headed person to explain. JM and MY seem really close and I guess I found it more believable than other ships. I absolutely adore JK and JM and I cannot, as a new Army, understand how people cannot see their bond and try and find moments that aren’t there with others, or looks or touches or even in a behind the scenes where they say JM was moaning in Sugas room. It’s so disrespectful of all the members to do this. It grosses me out tbh.

You are weclome, and I appreciate your trust in me. That's true, Jimin and Yoongi are very close, and Jimin has sweet moments with Yoongi just like he does with Namjoon, Hobi or Jin as his other hyungs. But the reason Ymners make up and spread disrespectful lies and misinformation like that, is very clear, and it's Ymn being the side ship for Tkk which has the biggest group of shippers in the fandom. They use Ymn to complete and secure their fantasies, and in one way or another, they need to include Jimin in those fantasies.

But how did we come to this? It's kinda complicated. When you are new in the fandom as a shipper, things are a bit confusing because you are not educated enough to fact-check things, and it's difficult to see what's important as a ship moment and what's not. Unfortunately many shippers take advantage of this confusion and lack of knowledge, and manipulate the newcomers with edited, cropped and altered content or totally twisted narratives.

Every new fan has exprienced this manipulation in some level. Even I, as a Jikooker, had noticed that some of the moments I had watched in compilation videos, were cropped or taken out of context. But I never find anything that was changed in a manipulative way or made out of thin air. I'm not claiming that everything Jikookers say is true, but we can claim that when some misinformation starts to spread, it usually gets corrected and doesn't go on for a long time. Some Jikookers even go overboard with this and start to dismiss the legit moments, and that's why we have a big breed of woke Jikooker, which I don't understand why they bother calling themselves Jikooker, but their wokeness is usually the starting point for the process of leaving.

Anyways, I stopped watching YT analysis and even compilation videos after 2019 and followed everything real-time, but after a while, I realized watching original content is not the only thing you need to do. And there are two other things you need to keep in your mind:

1. Ships and being ship focused all the time, ruins your experience as a fan. If you keep being focused on who stands next to whom, who touches whom, who mentions whom, you can't enjoy the content you are consuming. I'm not saying I don't focus on my ship, because I clearly do it in a deep level, but I try to separate it from my experience as a content consumer, that's the reason I have this blog to organize my thoughts and perceptions on Jikook and it help me not to go down into that rabbit hole.

2. Details matter, but you should not get caught up in them. We pay attention to the details when we review and analyze the moments, but not every detail matters. For example, the date on Jimin's freezer screen was an important and clarifying detail in that content, but JK saying "It's been a while" is an insignificant detail. He could have said it as a mere joke, or refering to the house or maybe just two hours of separation from Jimin is a "while" in JK's dictionary, we don't know. We don't know many things, and we can't judge and analyze everything. Fighting with haters who try to debunk these insignificant details has no use and just gives them the sense of victory they are looking for.

When you try to see things as a whole and stop focusing on irrelevant and insignificant stuff, your mind starts to filter out the unimportant facts and moments and detail, and you don't get insecure or defensive when someone questions or even debunks those details. And what remains, is a collection of special, huge and undeniable facts and moments that spoke by themselves. The level of undeniablity is so high here, that the antis need to use conspiracy theories like fanservice and company force to dismiss them. And I think that's very telling.

[lustale]

Hello everyone! Thank you all for almost 50 followers!! :3c All activity has been on my main account @morguemaw, so if you want more direct content of Lusttale shoot me a ask about it!!!!

So, abit has changed over the few months and i have a update, coupled with info for all you new guys who found this blog!

1) AU is decided to be 16+. Its suggestive, no NSFW will be posted/shown as i want whatever content i MYSELF to post to be accessible to everyone within a comfortable range! There will be light sexual jokes, however if at any point it reaches too much, please tell me! I know the AU itself should obviously be considered a Explicit Rated AU, however i know there are people who enjoy the AU without the sexual aspects.

2) This AU is not a fan AU OR variant: This AU was made with the plan to 100% rewrite Underlust, i will explain below!!

Why the rewrite?:

I've loved Underlust since i joined the Undertale community, and others have too! However, the owner WAS involved and DID create content involving fontcest, a nazi Chara, Frans content, and was friends/mutuals with others who also created gross content like BlogTheGreatRogue and Lizherubones. This disgusted me and made alot of others feel the same. The AU was left off on a confusing as shit note, from the disgusting writing of Lust MTT to the messed up relationship between the brothers. I want to erase this the best i can. Alot of characters have also 0 content (Such as Lust Alphys) and although i will mostly focus on Sans/Papyrus/Frisk still, i WILL be creating content for mostly every character to again ensure the AU is fully fleshed out for as much enjoyment as possible.

Wheres the creator/owner?:

Awhile back, the owner, NSFWshamecave/Niel, left the internet and the AU for personal and mental reasons and bounced between owning and not owning the Au. They have since been MIA(Missing In Action) from the internet and AU, i doubt they will return or be involved at this point. The AU is considered fandom owned, which if you prefer that i support it, but do not interact with my blog as im basing everything on a rewritten POV with the entire intent to overhaul the AU without being too different or too similar.

What about the Underlust domain name?:

Lusttale CAN be called Underlust, BUT i prefer Lusttale to separate it as its alot easier, HOWEVER i have no issue with it being called Underlust! (Just still please credit/tag me, id love to see any content!)

What about fan AUs or others who make their own Variants?:

Keep going! I support these ten fold. Ive seen so many creative AUs overall, including a recent aroace one that has such adorable designs and is why i want to refresh myself and explain this blog to anyone new who might mistake me as a fan account. If you want to consider your variant a version/variant of my Rewritten AU, please tag me! Id love to see your AUs, your Varaints, EVERYTHING!!

HOWEVER. I do NOT support a single soul who ever uses my AU for Frans, Fontcest, or akin. Dont tag me OR interact with me, its public knowledge how the community feels about those, and im one of the many who don't like that content and wish for my AU to not be used in it. Self inserts, OC/Y/N x Lusttale, or etc is the same, id love to see it!!

What about Swaplust/Lustfell/AUs?:

Swaplust is also inactive: I have had my own interpretation of Swaplust since i found the AU when it was first made, Lustfell however i dont know, if its requested i will create something but i dont want to just claim every Lust AU out there. Not saying im claiming ownership of Swaplust, im saying that the Swaplust i want to make will be considered canon AU and it will be the ONLY Underlust AU i will ever claim, Swaplust has the same exact permissions. (Swaplust too had a very close Frans suggested ship, that is my reason for it)

To clarify if needed, im not forcing the view of me owning the AU onto every Underlust created content, im just saying if you yourself, the community, support what i do, i will continue, hence why i say tag me! I love to see it!

What about headcanons/outdated info like Sans being shorter?:

RN, Sans is the same size as Gaster Sans (i think 5' something?) however im fine with people drawing him short! ^^

Head-canons are also fully fine!!! Tell me any you think of, id love to hear. As long as you respect that i have my own plans, id be overjoyed to read whatever you guys think of or have.

So, to sum it up, Underlust has had a MIA owner since 2019/2020. Because of the history, and the way its loved, its a massive honor if i could step up and help give the community a AU with a solid backstory, solid characters with fleshed out personalities, and a structured plot that will replace something that was/is beloved. The best i can explain it, is my goal is to structure the AU but still keep support for the community as the AU was indeed considered Fandom Owned, again, you do not have to support me wanting to claim it, just do not bash me for it, as im absolutely not considering Lusttale a variant or AU, im considering Lusttale canon.

Questions are welcomed, if you have any concerns i can also explain! (Anon/Off Anon preferred so i can have it be public accessible incase others have the same questions)

[irithnova]

🔥 on aph ASEAN?

Philippines:  I'm kind of glad that the Philippines turned out to be a guy in canon I know people were upset because a lot of fanon interpretations saw him as being a girl but, idk how to explain it without sounding insane or self hating LMAO but I feel like the Philippines being a guy makes seeing ships like Spain x Philippines and America x Philippines less uhh gross to look at. I mean I definitely don't ship those ships but its leaves a grosser taste in my mouth when I see Spain x woman Philippines for example, purely because we uhh all know what the Spaniards did to the women here lol.

I'm not saying that someones a bad person if they ship those ships I mean at the end of the day it's all fictional and people can do what they want, it's no biggie, I just think a lot of people in the hetalia fandom still don't have the ability to be nuanced about ships between countries with complicated histories. I have yet to see a well done analysis on how Spain x Philippines or America x Philippines would realistically work outside of people shipping it purely because it's a coloniser x colonised ship. I'm sure that a hetalia fan who is informed and can give a nuanced take can probably make me tolerate those ships but for now, no not really. . So if Philippines was a girl I feel like a lot of Spain x Philippines content or America x Philippines content would be a lot more disgusting and f3tishistic because Filipinas are already f3tishised.

Also when it's coloniser x colonised and the only reason why those two countries know each other is because one of them sailed across the world to invade the other one unprovoked, it's different from two nations who are neighbours and who war with each other if that makes sense. I think it would be different if Spain and the Philippines were like, neighbours who've fought each other for centuries and who subjugated each other and maybe I'd even like it if that was so, but it's just not the case (this is all coming from a Filipino)

Malaysia: LOL HE'S A SIMP FOR SINGAPORE (same). But honestly I kind of get it like why did Singapore say that Iceland of all people is his fave like what. Hima why are you trying to shoehorn in random Europeans LMAO

Indonesia: I love him but I wish in the manga he was portrayed a bit more like a Chad lol maybe it's because I'm used to the fanon interpretation of him

Singapore: I don't have strong feelings about him and I like his design but again uhh why is Iceland is fave bro💀 again it just seems like Hima trying to shoehorn in random European nations like shhh Iceland has had his turn being venerated by the fandom let the Asians have their go..

Thailand: No strong feelings about him I love him

Vietnam: Strong feelings about her but none of them are negative I LOVE HER XADKJS I just wish Hima would release a chapter of her just beating up America tho <3

Brunei, Cambodia, Laos and Myanmar I don't have unpopular opinions on really because I don't enough about their characters or how the fandom perceives them

Thank you for the ask :D

[entropy-sea-system]

I thought I'd talk a bit about being analterous as I don't often talk about My atertiary identities separately other than apl and afamilial.

Anyways, I should probably start by saying I don't actively crave an emotional connection just for the sake of it. It often involves friendship for a lot of people which already repulses Me. I happen to have emotional connections to My partners but its not about friendship, its about sex and in a few cases also romance bc Im demiromantic and allosexual.

A big reason I realised Im analterous is because people often said thats the attraction type behind qprs, and eventually I realised I didn't want a qpr but just thought I did bc a lot of other aros seemed to, and I felt like I'd be seen as 'aphobic' if I refused to want a relationship that aros and aces came up with. I also was unfortunately feeling like I had to have nonrose attraction to seem 'normal' and 'not sex obsessed' as an alloaro.

When I first heard of alterous attraction, it was kind of defined in a very vague way like 'not being sure if you have a (romantic) crush or just want to be friends', and that didn't make sense to my brain, as I would later realise, its bc Im arospec and apothiplatonic and those are simply not emotions I can feel like to a stranger. And friendship? I literally can't feel that towards anyone.

I define alterous attraction as being an attraction connected to wanting an emotional connection with someone (though of course, one can also have the attraction without being favorable to alterous relationships). My brain often lumps all the nonrose attractions as being something that has no relevance to me, and especially with terms that arent as used in larger society like alterous, I struggle to explain why I am like this.

Additionally, when people talk about feeling alterous attraction or a qpr (though that tends to be more associated w queerplatonic attraction these days) (I am also aqueerplatonic and qp repulsed though) I feel grossed out by it. I don't personally want to hear about it due to my repulsion.

In the past when I questioned if I had a nonrose crush it always ended up either being intrusive thoughts or Me repressing a sexual crush. I learned of things like squishes long before I knew I was aro because I formerly identified as demirose and even after I stopped using that label at one point, I still looked obsessively through AVEN forums where a lot of aces talked about having squishes.

I will admit that with acespec I have some sort of sexual orientation OCD where I have intrusive thoughts that Im 'really' ace when I don't identify that way, but thats a whole other topic. Its kind of distressing for Me to feel that but anyways. Explanation for why I was rather often looking at those forums.

I assumed I had the capacity to have squishes. I felt kind of creepy and genuinely kind of distressed that I was incapable of caring for people as a friend when multiple times, I thought I was having friendship emotions but it turned out to just be sexual attraction. Of course, people can have both emotions at once but I could kind of tell tht I had never even had the platonic attraction emotions, but didn't label it until i realised I could be apl.

I felt like I was obligated to like people in nonrose ways, because it made Me feel arophobic and acephobic, and anti-relationship anarchy, and selfish if I were to say no. But I'm glad I realised Im atertiary, because I'm a lot happier when Im not forcing Myself to have and like nonrose relationships. I'm content with my sexual and romantic-sexual relationships, and also content with the idea of not having any relationships, if at some point that becomes the case for me.

Also, I never ship alterous ships for example, I used to think I did but it was just me shipping characters romantically and/or sexually but thinking I needed to label the emotional care as alterous? And also its worth noting that I'm pretty much an analterous person with no alterous attraction who is alterous repulsed. This will not be the experience of every single person with these identities.

Also, seeing as how people often position alterous and qprs on a created romantic-platonic binary it just irks me that some people act like romantic and platonic are the only attractions ever. Especially when they ignore SEXUAL attraction, like its not romantic OR platonic but ppl act like it doesnt exist when they force the platonic-romantic binary on labels such as alterous and queerplatonic.

Also, I happen to have sexual intrusive thoughts about people, due to hypersexuality and OCD, that I don't like having. Sometimes, I tried to use tertiary/nonrose attractions as a coping mechanism for this by trying to say 'No, I only feel platonic/alterous/sensual/etc. for this person' even though I didn't, and was mistaking emotions like happiness or literally the rush from getting narc supply (NPD) or attention, and being touch starved, sometimes even just being triggered by people acting overfamiliar with Me, for nonrose attractions.

This is not so say nonrose attractions are unhealthy, but the way I conceptualised of them back then was. It's astounding to me that people think my atertiary identity is what's unhealthy when forcing myself to seem allotertiary was what was unhealthy for me.

At one point, when I was initially with a few of My current partners, I kind of felt the need to split every emotion I had about My partners into being a nonplatonic nonrose attraction, even when I knew I was apl. That was kind of unnatural to Me personally as a way to label My emotions. Because it wasn't any attraction other than sexual.

The way people talk about sexual attraction as fleeting and meaningless influenced this as well. I feel a lot of emotional care and enthusiasm towards people I am sexually attracted to, and I only like sexual relationships that are long term and involve affection. This made Me feel like it couldn't JUST be sexual attraction because people around me, even in aro spaces that included alloaros, acted like sexual attraction can never include these things.

Maybe thats just how people who either are alloromantic and/or are allotertiary feel because they label anything thats not 'I want to have genital sex' as some attraction other than sexual. But thats not how my sexual attraction works. I support people whose sexual attraction is not that deep/is fleeting or does not involve much emotion or desire for long-term involvement, and those who engage in casual sex. I just want people to acknowledge that thats not the only way sexual attraction and sexual relationships, especially nonromantic ones, can be.

Actually, anaesthetic was the third atertiary label I found myself realising I am, but I though I was aestheticflux. However it turned out that I am just completely atertiary. Also I think at one point that. It got kind of too much of a cognitive effort for me to want to classify my attraction into so many nonrose types. It made me feel kind of split apart and dissociated from my identity personally.

Anyways, this was a lot and I meant to just talk about My analterous experience, but all My atertiary identities seem to be tangled together in ways that mean they aren't very separable. I think I did only realise Im analterous around the time I realised Im completely atertiary, but it was also very linked to Me realising I'm aqueerplatonic.

Anyways, I'm also realising that maybe I feel My atertiary identities are all interconnected in a way that means I see a lot of them as lumped together for Myself, and how much I talk about them tends to depend on the percieved way I find societal norms regarding relationship types to be antithetical to My way of existing.

(-Rift)

[clarabowmp3]

Could you please predict for me when we will be done with the meathead?

stoppp 💀💀 honestly I didn’t expect them to have lasted till now but also I fully expected that she’d end up marrying joe so what do I/anyone rlly know lmao 🤡🤡

Fully explained below but tl;dr - it’s either until the travis team (i legit forgot the name i know the colour is red or smthhhh) keeps winning the Super Bowl/maintains a relatively good reputation OR until Taylor gets bored of him and looks for another shiny toy to make a complete fool of herself over (so like by this time next year) OR they get married and ride off into the sunset towards some happily ever after.

Howeverrr just for funsies: the way I see it is by working backwards, starting with if I see them getting married, and honestly…based on ttpd, leaning towards yes. When they will get married I have no inkling and I don’t even feel like speculating cuz of all those gross pregnancy/marriage rumours going around 🤢 I think they’ll get married cuz:

their careers are such that they’re both lifting the other up when they show up for games/concerts, there is no conflict of interest (ie no competition) cuz of the vastly different fields they’re in. Also, he was more established than joe at the start of their r/ship which makes for a very rosy picturesque love story image which at least some part of Taylor desires (based on her interviews, the fearless/speak now eras) but she’s also become quite jaded (as per ttpd) so maybe she thinks this is the closest she’s going to get to it

i also think she’s in no rush to leave a r/ship this comfortable after her last 2 emotionally complex ones. Not saying this is good or bad of her; I do understand why she would want to take it easy now (and possibly forever) but given how little they seem to have in common, I don’t think she can find this r/ship as emotionally fulfilling as she would want with a life partner, so I don’t see them sticking it out forever. Ofc I could be wrong and maybe she’s changed, but based on her track record travis does not seem the type of person Taylor Swift would want to spend the rest of her life with (girlie was cringing so hard in the viva las vegas clip)

Possible triggers for the breakup and why:

She finds someone else to obsess over and for some weird reason…she suddenly realises what a temper travis has? And how aggressive he is?? Cue the breakup songs/album, swifties dig up That Clip and go omggg how did we not see this he was abusing mother 😢😢, rinse and repeat until she (hopefully) finds some self-worth NOT tied to a man

travis’ team starts losing the Super Bowl/not doing all that well in other competitions. I think the main reason swiftie are kind of sweeping his messed up tweets and behaviour under the rug is cuz they won. But what abt if/when they stop winning? All that’s left is a hot-tempered football player who isn’t even an “all-star” (am I using that term correctly?) and she’s not going to like being associated with that/have that tarnish her brand. I find it so absurdly hilarious but she would rather be seen as problematic (re: M*tty) than unsuccessful, so she’d prob drop him if this happened

very unlikely, but maybe she breaks up with him and enjoys being single for a while? No reason for thinking this tho

ngl as long as this reply is, im kind of apathetic cuz she’s changed so much recently that im becoming less and less invested in her. I’m not even rlly looking forward to rep tv despite it being such a formative album for me cuz that version/image of taylor has been sooo tarnished by recent events yk? So idc what she does, mostly cuz if I had her as an actual friend I’d cut her out of my life SO fast

again, the usual disclaimers apply, idk her/them or anything abt their relationship, I am literally just a girl sipping her ginger ale and watching this train wreck of whatever taylor swiftTM has become 🍹🍹

[s0sorry]

Avatar Shipping VENT/RANT (sorry to be that person)

I know this dead horse has been beaten to hell and back, BUT……I want to say my two cents about Kataang and why it’s so important to me (and why Zutara still gives me the icks to this day). When the show originally aired I was probably eight or nine so romance was the last thing on my mind. I gagged and closed my eyes at every kiss/romantic scene in the show, no bias, I hated every couple. I’m also ashamed to admit that by the third season I didn’t like Katara….like at all.

I didn’t like Katara because she was emotional and it seemed like she cried ALL. THE. TIME. And I behaved very similarly to Toph, I stomped around bare foot, picked my nose, hated girly things and other internalized misogyny and I’m not like other girls shit (those last two things apply to just me not Toph). But I had a lot and I mean A LOT of emotions, and just like Katara I cried all the time, I was angry and hurt and sad, but unlike Katara I was told to stifle those feelings. To cry was to be soft and weak and if I wanted to survive in my house I couldn’t do that. If I cried it was considered a manipulation tactic by my dad, so when I saw Katara reacting to conflict like I did and watched her be rewarded and loved, I hated it. I hated her, but not really.

This all ties back to Kataang and Zutara, I swear.

As I continued to grow up I would rewatch Avatar reruns a lot, but rarely would they show season one episodes. By the time I was 13/14ish (Katara’s age) I had begun dealing with the unwanted attention of boys and men a like and as the oldest of four kids I was expected to be a grown up by the age of 12. I hated it all. I hated taking care of my younger siblings and I hated the way men yelled at me from their cars as I walked home from school, the way senior boys prayed on my best friend when we were freshman. I was supposed to be an adult so young and I was angry, depressed, and so beyond hurt all the time. I still am.

So when I’d go onto the internet as a child and saw overtly sexual pictures of Katara and Zutara I was thoroughly disgusted, but I didn’t know why. (I didn’t even ship Kataang at the time). It all made me uncomfortable and I didn’t know why.

Of course now I know. I was a child looking at a heavily sexualized children. Katara and Zuko are children, something I wouldn’t realize until I watched the show as an adult. And that’s one of many reasons I don’t like Zutara. They’ve always been grossly over sexualized in medias and as a someone who has been grossly sexualized as a child and adult of course I hated it. Now I know not ALL of the fan art of Zutara was sexualized, but still I grew up on the internet in the late 00’s/early 10’s and I didn’t know the ins and outs so I came across a LOT of gross and often p*rnographic art.

As an adult rewatching ATLA Katara is one of my favorite characters. She reminds me of who I use to be, who I could have been…which explains why I hated her when I was younger (I’ve dealt with a lot of self loathing over the years). Rewatching the series on Netflix allowed me to watch all three seasons as many times as I wanted. I’ll never forget rewatching the Boy in the Iceberg and hearing Aang say to Katara the words I desperately needed to hear as a child:

“You still ARE a kid.”

It made me cry. And that’s when my appreciation and love for Kataang grew. I loved watching these two kids journey across the world together and see their relationship develop over the three seasons. The way Aang always viewed Katara in lovestruck awe and the way Katara found hope and happiness in this boy. They were just two kids who cared deeply for each other, they were two kids trying to cling to the little childhood that hadn’t been destroyed by the world around them and they found that in each other. As someone who has always had to men/boys in my life constantly wanted me to be this hyper sexual version of myself, and being someone who was force to grow up too soon, Kataang resonates deeply with me.

They get to just be kids together, because that’s what they are. Kids. This isn’t even really an argument against Zutara (though I could make many arguments against it), it’s more of an argument against how it’s always been portrayed. Katara is a child, Zuko is a child and the only one who seems to remember that is Aang. Zutara has always been based on the sexualization of two children and because of that I can never get behind it.