#and that needs to be talked about!!!!!!!! IM JUST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE THO SO LIKE CAN THIS FUCKING SEARCH ENGINE WORK???

[transsexula]

No. Google. I'm actually looking specifically for trans MEN. I know a lot of articles talk about trans women. But I'm specifically looking for stuff about my subset of the trans community. Why the fuck are trans men so hyper-invisible.

[todayisafridaynight]

One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad

[haven-gum-rockrose]

going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.

[nereidprinc3ss]

do you believe me now? | 4

in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.

series masterlist

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses

(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!

“Three million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.”

You’ve lost count of how many stupid math questions you’ve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think you’ve finally stumped him. 

“That one is complicated.”

You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye. 

“You don’t know.”

“I do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you aren’t a math person.”

“Bullshit!” You scoff, “you don’t know!”

“It would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. It’s a really big number.”

“Oh, really big, huh?” you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. “Um… what numbers did I say?”

Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign. 

You look at it. 

And then you set your phone down. 

“I was right, huh?” he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness. 

Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“I don’t like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?”

Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside. 

“The e stands for exponent. It’s to the power of ten.”

“Ever heard of a rhetorical question?”

“Yes, I have.”

It’s hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes. 

“You’re annoying. Let’s do something else.”

You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, he’s still in his suit from work—he’d left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment. 

He looks good. Almost too good. 

“Something like what?” he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek. 

“Something… naked?”

His grin widens and he shakes his head. 

“Me naked or you naked?”

Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Mm… why not both?”

“Hm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?”

The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencer’s to kiss him. 

“Because you’re so smart, and you think it’s a great idea.”

He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.

“You sound sure of yourself.”

“Because I am!” You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. “It doesn’t make any sense for us to have not had sex. I don’t care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.”

He grabs your wrist carefully. 

“It is not moral,” he scoffs. “We haven’t even talked about it yet.”

“Really? Because I feel like we’ve talked about it a lot.” 

He begins to reply, but you realize you don’t want to get into a debate over whether you’ve technically talked about it yet. “I don’t even care! If that’s all that’s standing in your way, then let’s talk about it. Right now.”

Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek. 

“Fine. But I have things to say you’re not going to like.”

“So business as usual?”

He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best. 

“I know you probably won’t see it this way, but—sex is different than everything else we’ve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connection—that’s all true. Which is why, in my opinion, it’s incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because it’s so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust and—and… care about.”

A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.

Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. You’ll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesn’t ache just a little in your whole body. 

You cover his hand with your own. 

“Are you going to break up with me anytime soon?”

Spencer’s eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion. 

“What? No!”

“Are you going to cheat on me?”

“Absolutely not, I—”

“Then I’m not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.”

“Honey, I just want you to be 100% sure that I’m what you want.”

“Oh my god,” you groan, flopping onto your back once more. “I have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I don’t know how to be any surer.”

It’s quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal you’d been anticipating doesn’t come—instead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies. 

“Every time?”

“…yes, every time,” you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks. 

“Interesting. And what is it that you think about exactly?”

You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way he’s sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know it’s a false pretense. 

“Ugh, I don’t know! Don’t make me answer that!”

“You said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,” he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. “Tell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.”

You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this. 

“I… I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.”

Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy. 

“It might, sweetheart. That’s one of the reasons we’ve held back. I… really don’t want to hurt you. I don’t even know if I can.”

You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel. 

“Sometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.”

He kisses your palm. 

“You’ll be okay. It doesn’t hurt for everyone, and even if it does, you’re resilient.”

“Exactly. So you have to get over yourself.”

Spencer laughs like he wasn’t expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you.  

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.”

He’s smiling again as he leans down and kisses you—a slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him. 

“Please?” you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you. 

“What is it that you think you want? You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”

“Tell me,” you beg, chasing his lips. “Tell me what you’re going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.”

Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly. 

“You want to know what I’d do to you?”

“Yes—” you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds. 

“Well… we both know how anxious you get,” he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. “You’re hard to get out of your head when you’re nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute you’re with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch you—so first I would touch you like I’ve touched you before. I’d make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.” You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. “You’re going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?”

As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no. 

“I mean I need you relaxed and wet. You’ll excuse my crude language.”

You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on it’s almost painful. 

“What are you gonna do after that?”

“What else is there to do but fuck you after that?” he breathes. “You want me to tell you how I’d fuck you?”

Something about it makes you whine salaciously. You’ve heard him curse—you’ve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when it’s low in your ear and you’re covertly undressing him and he’s pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly. 

“Yes, please.” 

He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting. 

“I would have to take my time with you. You’ll be overwhelmed. I know you think you won’t, but you will. I’m going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. It’s going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.”

“Why careful? I don’t want that.”

He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine. 

“Yeah, you do. You’re going to want me to be careful when I’m—” he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. “Right here. Approximately.”

The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it. 

“Please don’t make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I don’t want it to be anyone else. I promise I’m ready.”

It’s silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. He’s finally going to give you what you’ve been begging for. 

Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmering—

And then his phone rings. 

You both freeze—he melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present. 

He’s breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing. 

“I’m sorry.”

Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.

“This is Reid,” he says, lackluster. 

If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is saying—but you don’t bother listening. It’s going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem. 

“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”

He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfully—taking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest. 

“I have to go right now,” he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place. 

You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipper—though all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand. 

“I know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.”

He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair. 

“I don’t love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?”

You force a smile. Great. So you’ll be spending the night in his bed after all—just without him. 

“Sure. Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful. 

Soon you’re walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighs again. 

“Spencer, it’s fine. It’s your job. You don’t need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.”

“I know, but… it’s easier in theory than in practice.”

You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and he’s missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you. 

But it’s not their fault. You just want someone to blame. 

Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you. 

In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound it’s like a chemical reaction—everywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It��is a fever dream. It’s every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul. 

“Spencer?”

“Hm?” 

It’s nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin. 

“I…”

Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesn’t change the fact that he’s about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential. 

He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands. 

“You what?” He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuck—you feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind. 

“I forget.”

FUUUUUUCK. 

Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake. 

He knows. 

He knows you didn’t forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and he’s going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity. 

Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like. 

“Well, let me know if you remember.”

It’s too gentle and at the same time he can’t hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.

Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly they’d interacted before. 

You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bed—though you don’t really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.

But perhaps this is all an overreaction. It’s not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anything—it was bad timing, anyway. And why can’t he say it? In fact, why hasn’t he said it? 

Maybe you have it all wrong. 

Maybe he doesn’t feel that way about you. 

You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick. 

24 hours go by. 

24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartment—it was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldn’t call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadn’t left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries you’d used up. 

Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure. 

Before you know it, it’s midnight, and you’re dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush you’d bought at the store—maybe this whole situation hadn’t been entirely unwitting on your part.)

Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If it’s something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how you’re able to doze off. 

You’re almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern who’s even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because you’re half asleep, you answer without checking. 

“Hello?”

Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep. 

“Shit, did I wake you?”

“Spence?” you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed. 

“… yeah,” he chuckles. “Did you not check who was calling before you picked up?”

“I was asleep,” you pout. “Kinda.”

“Okay. Go back to sleep, honey. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone. 

“No! No, I’m awake. What’s up? Why did you call?”

A longer stretch of silence—you’re too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadn’t said. 

“I just needed to hear your voice,” he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room. 

“Oh. Is everything okay?”

“As much as it can be.”

“Right.”

More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you haven’t had with Spencer in a while. 

“I’m sorry… I don’t really know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, “why don’t you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if you’re too tired.”

“Don’t ask me about my day,” you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs. 

“What? Why?”

“Because if I tell you you’re going to think I’m super weird and you’re going to break up with me.”

Laughter tapers off into gentler tones. 

“I already think you’re super weird. It’s actually one of your most attractive qualities.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks. 

“But it’s like… borderline crazy.”

Immediately, he replies, “for better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.”

“Thank you for calling me crazy and super weird,” you grumble. 

“I also called you attractive twice. Tell me.”

When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and it’s sort of raspy and low because it’s late and he’s been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his face—you imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphone—you have a very difficult time saying no. 

“Fine. Guess where I am right now.”

“Um, I would hope you’re in bed?”

You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly. 

“Guess whose bed.”

Silence. 

“What an interesting question.” That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. “If it’s not mine or yours, we’re going to have issues.”

“But if it is yours? You’re not going to call the police on me?”

“Why would I call the police? To tell them there’s a pretty girl in my bed and I don’t want her there?”

“To tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages there.”

Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.

“If you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.” The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. “But—yeah, don’t invite anyone else in.” More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. “Having people in my space makes me anxious.”

“But not me?” Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencer’s reply is soft, as if he’s picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.

“No, not you. You are always the exception.”

“Good,” you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. “Because I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.”

Spencer groans. 

“You’re killing me.”

“What? What did I do!”

“Don’t talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think you’re intentionally being a brat.”

“You asked me about my day! I’m just telling you what I did!”

But you’re also intentional teasing him for sure.  After a pause, he sighs in defeat. 

“You’re right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.”

“Well,” you begin, all too eager, “I had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, and—”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” you frown. 

“Tell me what this is.”

“I—I don’t know what you mean.”

Lying to a profiler is usually pointless. 

“I’m not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.”

Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up. 

“I don’t know. I miss you.”

He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.  It changes the frequency you’re vibrating at. It’s hypnotic. 

“But that’s not really why you’re being intentionally provocative, is it?”

“No,” you admit quietly. “I’m still upset you had to go last night.”

“So you’re frustrated and you’re taking it out on me?”

Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like that…

“I’m not taking anything out on you.”

“I think you are. And I don’t appreciate that, because I’m on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?”

Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you don’t understand. 

“Your bed with me,” you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket. 

“Right. So why don’t you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?”

“I wasn’t punishing you,” you mutter. 

“No? You weren’t intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that I’d have to think about what I can’t have right now?”

“I—”

“Believe me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I can’t have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you can’t say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts I’ve been having about you for seventeen hours.”

The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges. 

“What… what thoughts?”

“None that you need to concern yourself with.”

“You can’t just say something like that and then not tell me!” you insist. He’s obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and it’s fair but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. 

“I can do whatever I want,” Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because he’s right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within you—a desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it. 

“Fine. Then so can I. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it even if I could.”

“Spencer,” you warn. “If you don’t tell me what you were thinking I’m gonna—” you look around the room for ammo. “I’m gonna look through your nightstand!”

“Go ahead. I’ll warn you, it’s not very interesting.”

“Sounds like what someone who has something hide would say,” you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer. 

Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contents—a small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, and—

“Spencer Reid,” you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, “what are these?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see what you’re referring to.”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Oh, I have one. But I’d like to hear you say it.”

You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Well—they don’t say karma is a bitch for nothing. 

“What are you doing with a box of condoms?” 

He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you. 

“Those are years old. I’ve used three since I bought them.”

“Don’t tell me that,” you whine. “I don’t wanna think about all the other women you’ve seduced.”

“You wanted them to be for you, huh?” 

You flush. Honestly you hadn’t even thought about that. 

“I… I don’t know. I kind of just assumed…”

It’s silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadn’t even considered protection when you’d imagined sleeping with him before. 

“You assumed what, honey?” he asks, voice soft. 

“It’s dumb. I can’t tell you.”

“You can tell me anything. I’m not going to think it’s dumb, I promise.”

You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest. 

“Whenever I imagined it… we didn’t… use anything.”

The words make you cringe even as you’re saying them. So does the quiet that follows. 

“When you imagine us sleeping together, we don’t use a condom?”

“Ah!” The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. “You didn’t have to say it! You make me sound so weird!”

“It’s not weird,” he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, “I just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said… we would definitely use protection.”

“Do we have to?”

The quiet words take even you by surprise—and they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts. 

“We really should, baby. That’s the kind of thing we need to take seriously.”

“But you’re… you’re good, right?”

Thankfully he picks up on your meaning. 

“I am. I wouldn’t touch you if I weren’t.”

“And I’m good. So...”

“Hm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?”

You groan in frustration. 

“Spencer, I’m being serious! There are ways to negate that.”

“Honey,” he murmurs, “I understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, but—”

“I’m telling you it’s already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.”

The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaks—to your surprise, his voice is low and humorous. 

“That is… good to know. But even so—I’m setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.”

“Is it such a bad thing that I just wanna—I wanna know what it feels like? You don’t want that?”

“That’s not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. I’m just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.”

You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them. 

“You know what I was thinking about?” you ask. Spencer hums curiously. “I was thinking about when you let me, um… when you let me touch you how you touch me.” He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.

“When you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?”

“When I—yeah,” you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. “And  how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like… inside me.”

He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like you’re not touching yourself just a little bit. 

“You want me to come inside you?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice. 

—

On the other side of the line, Spencer isn’t doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and it’s only getting worse with each little noise you make that you don’t seem to realize you’re making. 

“Really? That would be very messy, baby. I’m surprised that’s what you want.”

“But I really want it,” you breathe. He’s not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or not—but he’s here now. 

“Yeah? Is that why you’re touching yourself right now?”

You go silent—which is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, two—

“’M not.”

Now, he could explain how he knows that’s a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesn’t feel like explaining any of that. 

“I know that’s not true,” he murmurs. “You know what? It wasn’t fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I don’t want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.”

You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers. 

“Where are you touching?”

“Um—over my clothes.”

Cute. 

“Go under them for me. Tell me how it feels when you’re touching yourself like that.”

It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until you’re whispering, “feels… it feels good. I wish you were here.”

He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base. 

“I know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. I’m right here.”

Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines what’s happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut. 

“I need them inside,” you whine, and he knows you’re referring to his fingers—the ones currently stroking his own leaking cock. 

“You can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?”

“I am ready—” judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, you’ve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. “Spence, it doesn’t feel the same.”

“We’re different sizes, honey. Your hands aren’t as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.” 

He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower third—in other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reach—but he refrains. He’s not sure if that’s good dirty talk. 

“You have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. It’s going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. There’s a quiet moment. “I can’t—I don’t think I can r—oh,”

The moan is so pretty Spencer can’t help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump. 

“Did you find it?”

“Yeah,” you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. “Oh my god.”

“Be gentle,” he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. “You’re really sensitive there. If you’re not careful you’ll make yourself sore.”

“I don’t care—holy shit—” the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. “Oh my god, Spencer,” in that same strained, high voice. “’M gonna—ah!”

He gets the general sentiment. 

“What, baby? You’re gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“Mhm!”

“Yeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?”

“Yes,” you cry. 

“See? You don’t need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you can’t stop squirming. I don’t know how you think you’re going to take my cock.”

“Spencer!” 

He knows. 

“Come, baby. Let me hear you.”

The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his own—grunting as he comes all over his fist. 

“Jesus,” he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. He’s lightheaded and he’s created a mess and it all happened so quickly. “Fuck,” he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel he’d dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. “You conscious over there?”

“I’m conscious,” you slur, breathing heavily. “I’ve never had an orgasm by myself before.”

“Are you proud of yourself?” Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure he’s otherwise clean. “You should be. I am.”

He’s barely kidding. 

“I’ll be proud when I can do it without your help,” you tease. 

“But I’ll always want to help you with that.” His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what he’d said. “Sorry I was so vulgar.”

You laugh. He blushes even more. 

“Are you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.”

“I don’t know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and I’m genuinely appalled.”

“Well, don’t stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.”

“Yeah, I think I’m corrupting you. You probably shouldn’t enjoy it.”

The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but he’s pretty sure his voice alone doesn’t betray that and you can’t sense it through the phone. 

“Oh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop I’ll be very upset.”

“Well god forbid you get upset,” he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason he’s suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide. 

Or if it was something else. It could also be something else. 

For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you. 

—

A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, you’re mapping constellations in the texture of Spencer’s ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine he’s really here. 

You think about what he said—his apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?

“Spencer?” you murmur. 

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, “always,” through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength. 

“If Penelope hadn’t called, last night… were you going to have sex with me?” 

Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like he’s about to speak—and lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink. 

“I don’t know,” he finally admits, lamely. “That wasn’t my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.”

“But why can’t it be your plan?” It’s an almost whine, pouty and childish—but the next words are quiet and pained. “Is it something I’m doing wrong?”

“No, no! It’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s—it’s complicated. It’s a me thing.”

Such trite words—such a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know he’s capable of all the eloquence in the world. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s ridiculous. 

“Okay. Let me simplify this for you,” you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. “I want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or we’re not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And I’m not eternally patient, Reid.”

Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue. 

“Watch your mouth,” he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. “When you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.” You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. “You know what I want. I’ve been very clear with you about that. But…”

“But…?”

Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared. 

“But—but to be completely honest… I worry that you’ll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and I’m not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and it’s incredibly intimate and I don’t want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.”

The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing him—that you could never, ever regret anything about him—one thing stands out. 

“You regret your first time?” 

Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell he’s not annoyed at you for asking so much as he’s flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does. 

“Yeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The person—she didn’t… like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasn’t in love with me—or maybe she was, I don’t know—but my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about me—that’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t want you to feel bad if we don’t feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, it’s different, I—I just don’t want us to do something we can’t undo because I don’t want to relive that. And I’m not saying it will never happen but I just don’t want you to make this choice when… when right now, I think we’re in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I don’t want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didn’t understand. I’m sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But I’ve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.”

Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the world’s worst case of whiplash. 

Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins. 

What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesn’t feel the same. 

You want to scream bloody murder. 

But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, “oh.”

Maybe that’s worse. 

Spencer doesn’t reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence. 

“I didn’t realize you…”

I didn’t realize that you don’t love me back. 

I didn’t realize I like you more than you like me. 

I didn’t realize you’d tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later. 

If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesn’t love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was. 

“I’m sorry,” he lamely says again, like it could ever help. 

More silence. Now you can’t bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does. 

“I realize how awkward this is. I really didn’t mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when I—god, I’m stupid. I’m sorry. But can we—can we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?”

Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why he’s not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?

What does one even wear to a breakup date?

“Okay,” you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like you’ve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound. 

Spencer sighs. It’s a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more. 

“Okay. I—okay. Thank you. Um—I’ll let you go back to sleep, now.”

“Okay,” you repeat—as if any of this were okay. But you can’t keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if it’s not, you’re silly and dramatic and you’re just proving him right. 

“Goodnight,” Spencer whispers, and you can’t help but feeling that it’s the last time you’ll ever hear those words from his mouth while you’re in his bed. And he’s not even fucking here.

So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because they’ll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here. 

“Goodnight.”

-

part five

[amaranthineghost]

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🐟 ꒱ my american lover ( logan sargeant. )

logan sargeant x aussie!reader

in which a series of instagram posts causes the internet to think you're oscar's girlfriend

authors note: motivation these days is like trying to find water in a desert TvT doesn't help that this deleted the first time i tried to post it

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri and 4,028 others

ynusername life lately

view all 302 comments

user HELP THE OSCAR PICTURE?

user this was not on my 2024 bingo card

⤷ user it was not on mine either what 😭😭😭

user since when does yn know about oscar piastri?

⤷ user and since when was he in her likes???

oscarpiastri where did you even get that photo 🥲

⤷ ynusername mumma piastri has a soft spot for me 😊

⤷ oscarpiastri ah

user omg she knows oscar's mom too

user is this a soft launch???

⤷ user using oscar's photos from when he was a kid? i sure hope not 😭

⤷ user okay yeah, that'd be a little bit awkward, but why else would she post a picture of him in her photo dump

user twitter is gonna go crazy

⤷ user i can already see the threads

user does no one know that they're friends?

⤷ user i thought this was common knowledge atp because he has appeared in her previous posts...

⤷ user right, there's photos of them as kids karting together

user ynscar 🙏

⤷ user i found my people

user the ynscar rumors starting up again is wild

⤷ user well they never denied anything

⤷ user ...

⤷ user are you on something?

ynusername

liked by lilymhe and 1,937 others

ynusername what a view (the city, not oscar)

view all 103 comments

user stop, she's so pretty...and he's there

lilymhe we need to hang out and take pictures! the boys will find something to entertain themselves 😘

⤷ ynusername asap! 🙏🏻 they see each other every day, whats another?

⤷ lilymhe exactly! 😊

⤷ alex_albon what am i being signed up for?

user oh my god, lily and yn planning a hangout with their boyfriends? so its confirmed?

⤷ user AND THEY SEE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY??? GOTTA BE!!!

oscarpiastri is this just your new thing to post random photos of me?

⤷ ynusername yeah pretty much

⤷ oscarpiastri great thanks

⤷ ynusername anytime 🙂‍↕️

user of all the photos of oscar she could've chosen, she used this one

⤷ oscarpiastri right

⤷ user OMG OSCAR ILY!!!

user am i the only one who doesn't believe the ynscar rumors?

⤷ user you aren't because it just doesn't make sense

⤷ user right like just because she started putting memes of him in her posts doesn't mean they are outright dating

logansargeant the view looks great!

⤷ ynusername its so gorjos! (you're not talking about oscar, right?)

⤷ logansargeant gorgeous, babe, and no, of course not (yeah, i might be)

⤷ ynusername (oscar isn't the view here!)

⤷ logansargeant (says who) (and why are we talking in parentheses)

⤷ ynusername (i don't know) (why are you talking in parentheses?)

⤷ logansargeant (i don't know, that's why i asked you)

⤷ ynusername (well i don't know either)

⤷ logansargeant (you've said)

⤷ user (what's going on?) (why did he call her babe???)

⤷ user (why are logan and yn talking?) (not on my 2024 bingo card)

⤷ user (well they both know oscar)

⤷ user (but he called her babe??)

user help all the replies to their comments being in parentheses as well 😭😭😭

user am i the only one who prefers yngan to ynscar

⤷ user nope!

⤷ user i love them so much, but it's probably unlikely and we don't see much interaction from them

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri and 3,408 others

ynusername pov you're max verstappen at miami and you look in your mirrors

view all 231 comments

user oh my god

user im speechless

user the soft launch with the meme of oscar was not on my list of things happening this season 😭

bsfusername you know you're never beating the rumors

⤷ ynusername sadly 😓😓😓

⤷ bsfusername okay but when was this tho

⤷ ynusername wdym 😋

⤷ bsfusername don't gaslight me

⤷ ynusername what's gaslighting???

⤷ bsfusername bitch.

⤷ user rumors? such as the ynscar rumors?

user logan in the likes?

⤷ user hes BEEN in the likes for a hot sc, you just couldn't see him lurking

oscarpiastri you're not coming to the next race

⤷ ynusername WHY NOT??? IM YOUR BIGGEST SUPPORT 🙏🏻

⤷ oscarpiastri support your boyfriend

❤️ by author + logansargeant

⤷ ynusername SHHHH!!!

user wait so oscar isn't her boyfriend?

user anyone see logan in the likes???

⤷ user gotta support the homie's girlfriend

⤷ user gotta

⤷ user they aren't dating 😭

user okay, but do we know FOR SURE oscar and yn are dating? they just seem like really close friends...?

⤷ user SOMEONE GETS IT

user real ones know that oscar and yn are childhood friends

ynusername has posted a story!

[caption: guys look at my uber driver 😢]

view all story replies

user PLEASE RESPOND TO THE RUMORS

user 1. you're dating oscar a. true b. false

user he doesn't even have the steering wheel 😭

ynusername 🤫

user oh my god im gonna faint, tell oscar and logan i love them

oscarpiastri you had the wheel

ynusername stupid, american cars amiright 🤣

oscarpiastri sure

ynusername okay no need for the attitude mr. im a formula 1 driver and am too cool for my BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

oscarpiastri go bother your BOYFRIEND

ynusername okay

ynusername ...

ynusername you're supposed to feel bad

oscarpiastri 😐😑😐

ynusername

liked logansargeant and 7,078 others

ynusername my american boy <3

view all 227 comments

user the random middle of the day hard launch

⤷ user but im not complaining

logansargeant my kangaroo <3

⤷ ynusername EXCUSE ME???

⤷ logansargeant 😊

⤷ ynusername okay american eagle

oscarpiastri finally putting an end to the rumours i see

⤷ ynusername well you weren't going to do it so someone had to

⤷ oscarpiastri i thought it was common knowledge that i had a girlfriend that wasn't you

⤷ ynusername osc...im gonna hold your hand when i tell you this

⤷ oscarpiastri dont touch me

user the sass from oscar 😭😭

⤷ user i know right😭🫣

logansargeant

liked by ynusername and 143,203 others

logansargeant i love my aussie side

view all 1,047 comments

user ON MY CELLULAR DEVICE???

oscarpiastri i thought i was your aussie side mate

⤷ logansargeant oh no, you are dw

⤷ ynusername probably why he put a picture of oscar in the hard launch

⤷ logansargeant you put one in the soft launch

⤷ ynusername fair point

user i was not expecting this (i was indeed expecting it)

—

taglist (found here): @slut4lrh @kaa12 @taylorslovesswifties13 @sbella13 @nhlfs @beskardroids @hiireadstuff @sapphiccloud @lorenica @delululeclerc @c-losur3 @namgification @casperlikej @darleneslane @soamericn @decafmickey @tellybearryyyy @geniusalpaca @mel164 @littlegrapejuice @rylieverstappen-sargent @ahnneyong @ln4smiamitrophy @jiggly-puff-12 @jamieebuolos @ireadthensuetheauthors @jaasworld

proofread by @foreveralbon <333

[k1mbe3rly]

Hii i love your writing and idk if you have done anything like that but i NEED enemies to lovers/enemies w tension hcs abt daeho

Enemies with tension with Daeho hcs

warnings: smut,

-Ever since you teamed up with Gi huns team, this stupid guy with this ponytail, Dae ho, always gave you some type of attitude, always calling you out on dumb ideas you made or simply just calling you dumb, you’ve been arguing with him since the first eye contact yall made

- Just something about him makes you feel a bit attracted to him, maybe it’s his looks or just the way he stares at you in anger

- Dae ho loves to mock you just for the fun of it and to see you get angry, replaying your movements or words back at you in a high pitched voice, he finds it funny when you get annoyed and stop talking to him after that

- Even tho yall both annoy each other and constantly argue sometimes yall are forced to work together in games, well that’s what he said at least, “Im just forced to save you so don’t expect it much.”

it’s a choice mainly and he chose to drag you into a room with him alone 👀but he also doesn’t wanna risk losing you even tho he acts like that’s what he wants

- The touch says it all, sometimes you notice he touches you a bit too often, a random hand on your shoulder or arm, gets too close for his shoulder to rub on you or his knees hitting yours, in mingle he would “accidentally” grab your hand in a panic of surviving, but deep down he just wants to feel the warmth of your hand and maybe feel your hand wrapped around something else

NSFW

- You weren’t sure how yall ended up making out roughly and ontop of each other, well maybe you do cause both of yall woke up to watch outside but of course that turned into a argument which lead him “angrily” kiss you

- ROUGH angry sex is on the top of the list

- So much arguments that leads to yall rip each other's clothes off, slamming each other against walls and desks as they unleash their pent-up frustration, fucking on one of y’all’s bed over and over again

- Sometimes when yall are bickering at night just saying random words he would shut you up with his cock deep down your throat, making you take his whole length, his hands tangled in your hair as he pushes you down on his cock hearing the soft gagging sounds from you

“Fuck yea. Take it down your throat.. put that mouth to good use instead of trying to argue me fuckkk”

- Sometimes he even takes you to the bathroom and not even long later the entire bathroom is filled with loud moans and groans, skin meeting skin. Inside is seen you and Daeho fucking on the sink, with you bent over as he fucks you from the back whispering dirty words into your ear

- In the stalls he makes you ride him and if your not fast enough he slaps your ass to make you fasten up, he admires the way your body moves on him and the way your boobs bounce each movement

[gay-dorito-dust]

hey, i really enjoyed reading your angst drabbles and i was thinking if you could write something like Viktor neglecting reader and all her attempts to be close to him again, and when she decides to give up on him, she almost die in the council room explosion, after he stood her up again, leaving her in some state of coma. then he regret everything, after all she should’ve been with him…

sorry if i made some mistakes, english is not my first language but im trying my best! 🫶🏻

Ah yes, more angst *laughs maniacally in several cups of coffee and severe need to make ppl cry* also your English is perfect, no need to apologise sweetie. Also! This is extremely long cuz I got carried away. Hope you enjoy tho! 🫶🫶

You adored Viktor greatly, for to you there was not a man who could match his brilliance and his resilience, his determination to see everything that he’s put his whole heart and soul into this hextech project through. Everything about him was enticing to you from his dream to better the lives of others, the twinkle in his amber eyes when he had made a scientific breakthrough, not to mention the way he became more animated and eager to talk as he spoke about it; he sounded more alive then ever before which you loved for him.

However what once brought you happiness would eventually become your downfall for as of recent memories as tensions between Piltover and Zaun heightened to a dangerous degree, Viktor had more or less had secluded himself to the lab from the early hours of the morning, rarely to come out for anything or anyone. Gone were the days where you’d see him in the hallways of the academy, blessing you with his beautiful smile as his amber eyes only seemed to glow within your presence in familiarity, offering a short greeting in passing but the recognition of your existence by him was more then a full length conversation with him would have given you.

He left your peripheral vision with nothing to remind you of moment, nothing but a flutter within your chest that’s warm and suffocating as the same time. Now you were left disappointed to ever think that you could recapture that moment again, such like a love sick individual who was detached from all forms of reality that didn’t have him in it. Times were changing and not for the better, for everyone was on edge with what was to come and the tension was so thick you could cut into it with a knife and anticipation hung heavy over everyone, dreadfully awaiting an attack with baited breath and clenched fists in an attempt of bravery in the face of adversity.

Gone were the brief glimpses you’d get of him from the corner of your eyes, leaving you to believe whether or not you did in fact see him or just someone who wore similar clothing. You’d sometimes catch him in the act of waving at you when he was in a hurry or -when he had time to spare- even making himself welcome to the unoccupied seat besides you in the library, looking over your mountain of books with a raised brow and sarcasm upon his lips.

‘You planning to read them all in one go or?’ He’d say, making you scoff as a smile blossomed across your face as you looked into his eyes, finding that they were already on you.

‘Yeah because that’s a completely plausible thing for a person with a simple mind could accomplish.’ You replied with your own form of sarcasm as your smile widens at the sound of his laugh, gladly to have made such a heavenly sound emerge from his mouth. You two would remain in those same seats until it was time to part ways once again, bidding each other farewells as the days drew to a close and you’d leave for home when Viktor would stay overtime in his lab.

Now you don’t see him at all. Your head would perk up at the sound your mind has made you believe was the soft love tap of a cane against wooded floor, only to have your heart clench and mind belittling you when it wasn’t anywhere near Viktor coming into the library but someone else entirely. You were left with a table littered with books and an empty seat besides you, now cold and devoid of the man who’d always sit there and let his thoughts flow freely and bluntly out of his mouth, and yet you’d much prefer that over the deafening silence that greeted you for the past months as the realisation of how cold and miserable you were without Viktor to make your day complete.

You use to frequent the lab more so then your own office just to see Viktor in the past. So much so that Viktor had left a spare chair by his workbench for you to sit on, letting you linger as he worked and never uttering a single word as you were too entranced by the ways his fingers moved and how his facial expressions fluidly moved from one another, it almost like they were telling a silent story of his emotions of his successes and failures within the project. From the highs and lows, the triumphs of learning something new, to the challenges that left dark bags under his eyes from all the late nighters he’s been pulling to at least achieve something in the midst of all the chaos.

Now the warmth that once filled you as you entered the lab felt cold, like you were intruding on something you shouldn’t have. Your once place of refuge had become a place you didn’t recognise as you immediately noticed the lack of the chair you once sat on, it’s location wasn’t a concern of yours more so than the ache within your heart at the seemingly small act. However for such an act as small as removing a spare chair from a workbench you felt as though this was a sign that your presence was no longer a welcomed one; you had become a distraction and in the worse kind to Viktor, and thus your chair had been taken away, signifying that those warm days of human connection had long since overstayed it’s welcome.

‘Viktor?’ You called out but not once did he show signs of recognition towards your voice nor bothered to look up from his work that meant so much to him nowadays. You didn’t know which hurt more, the lack of response or the idea that you were nowhere as dear to his heart as he was to yours at all, however you still smiled through the ache within your chest in hopes that it was just a delayed response on his part.

Nothing. Viktor didn’t even make an attempt to speak to you and just continued being hunched over his workbench with no intention on stopping, acting as though you were merely just a breeze that passed him by and not a human being he was once close to, begging him to acknowledge you and acknowledge the history between the two of you.

‘How long have you been cooped up in here like a little hermit.’ You tried to attempt a joke that only felt awkward and painful when the Viktor didn’t make a sarcastic quip back towards you. He left you in silence once again as you felt your hope slowly start to die within your chest and your smile began to fade from your lips as your resolve began to waver. You swallows thickly as you tired not to let this get to you and instead believe that he couldn’t hear you, and so you walked closer to him until you rested a hand upon his shoulder, making him stop working for a moment before going back to what he was doing soon after.

‘How long has it been since you slept, eaten anything, or just get some fresh air?’ You asked with concern towards his health and how it seemed that he was driving himself down into the ground for academic validation for his work. ‘Why don’t you take a break and take some time away from-‘

‘Not everyone has the luxury of time on their hands.’ Viktor cuts you off but not in the way you’d hope. His words cut through you, making you flinch away from him from the bitter tone that came from him as though he burnt you. ‘They need help now and I won’t allow any further distractions to hinder me from doing so.’ He adds and it obviously felt very pointed towards you as if you were the problem he now faced and you couldn’t help but get a little upset over this.

‘And kill yourself in the process? Who’s going to help them when you’re dead Viktor because it’s sure as hell not me!’ You bit back as you moved back towards the door, finding no point in standing by his side if he was so willing to discard you like you were nothing in the pursuits of science. ‘I’m not going to stand here and watch you lose yourself to your work, I won’t do it.’ You add with certainty but it’s Viktor’s next words that really hurt you despite the softness of his voice, now was sharp as ice and just as piercing.

‘Then don’t bother darkening my door any longer than you already have.’

You stiffened up at this as you felt your heart tore itself in half at the unnecessary hostility thrown towards you as the rift between the two of you had finally made itself known in this moment. The closeness you once shared with Viktor was now an illusion you fell for so willingly, all with the hopes that something more would come from it one day, much like the hopeless romantic that you truly were. However in this moment it was revealed that none of that mattered to him, not as much as it did to you and just as you were about to leave the lab, you looked over at his back and said;

‘Goodbye Viktor. I promise to never be an inconvenience to you ever again since that’s what you wish for.’ And without needing to hear him, you walked out of the lab, shutting the door behind you as you walked down the hall as silent tears fell from your cheeks as you kissed goodbye the one good thing you had left to keep your head above water; however without it you could feel yourself slipping beneath the waves that had threatened to crash over you for a long, long time as you had lost your anchor and you have the angry to care what happens to you.

…

Everything that happened in a matter of seconds. Too fast for anyone to notice what was going on before it was too late and a wave of pain greeted you as you blacked out.

The council was attacked and all signs pointed towards Zaun as the perpetrators.

Viktor was lucky enough to have somehow miraculously survive with the help of the hexcore but you on the other hand were left in a coma from the explosion. All Viktor knew when he came through in his new body was the news that you had could’ve died had you been just a tiny bit closer to bear the brunt of the unforeseen attack. The doctors were overlooking your possibilities of awaking from the coma, they claim that chances of that happening were slim but they believed that you were strong enough to pull through it, not that any of this mattered to Viktor as for all he was aware was that even if you did awake he’d be the last person you wanted to ever see.

He was told that upon being rescued from the rubble you looked like you had already died with the amounts of deep gashes that littered across your face, he got told that you didn’t even look like you were breathing at all, but you looked oddly at peace with the outcome of such a tragedy; as though you were silently suffering inside your own head for a long time and this was you gladly accepting the fate bestowed upon you.

Viktor didn’t know what hurt more, the fact that you could’ve died, or the idea that you were more then willing to have died in the attack then wake in a reality where he had all but pushed you aside. He couldn’t blame you for not wanting anything to do with him anymore, not after trying so hard to get through to him in the past, only for him to retaliate with words that you didn’t deserve. You had every right to never allow him into your life ever again, Viktor didn’t feel he was deserving of a second chance with you, especially not after something as traumatic as almost dying.

Now upon retrospect it would’ve been morbidly poetic had he did die in the attack, his hand reaching towards your own but never truly touching, a reminder that he had severed that connection with you the moment more was demanded of him and of hextech; A once beloved and respected connection that’ll never mend for the damage was already done due to his own hubris.

You deserved more then him and Viktor knew this painfully well enough to continue to drive the wedge between the two of you, all in hopes that you too would see that you were better off in search of something new with someone else, and yet he couldn’t help but cling onto you for himself so selfishly as though he wasn’t the one who caused you pain in favour of staying within the lab to his own devices. Viktor knew he was being ridiculous and he would only be hurting you in the process with his indecision of whether to keep you close by his side, or as far away from him as possible.

Yet everything within him told him to at least visit you, just to be certain that you would be strong enough to emerge from the coma, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that despite how much he wished to see you recover much like you had been bedside for him when his health declined sharply. Viktor remembered the day clear as day as the concern within your eyes shone, and the grip you had on his hand tightened every so often with every inhale and exhale, you didn’t say a single word but you didn’t half to as viktor has taught himself to read you better then most. It was clear that you were afraid but didn’t have the heart to speak up on it, and now he was face with a similar situation.

You were the ache in his heart that he couldn’t be rid of, no matter how much change his body went through, not that he wanted to either and Viktor knew he was the ache within your heart. You two pained each other with your absences, comforted each other’s overthinking minds and gave each other the company you so needed. You needed each other but didn’t at the same time, it was a never ending game with yourself and Viktor as you didn’t know whether to get close to one another or keep the distance between you and pretend that you’re both not hurting when you were.

However Viktor may regret the words he had spoken to you, it doesn’t change fate in the slightest, he was with his commune in the Undercity and you were still in that coma you should’ve awoken from weeks ago. Yet now and then Viktor would find himself looking to his side where he would normally feel you, only to see nothing but thin air and close his eyes as he took a deep breath to compose himself. He regrets everything he said to you but they wouldn’t change the hurt you were both suffering from, Viktor wanted you by his side in that moment but knew he’s better off wishing for that in another life, a life where he chose you.

Now he’ll get to know how sweet that life would be like and the ache within the remains of his heart hurt just that little more, for you, the ache within his him that he couldn’t get rid of but needed all the same to remind himself that he was still the Viktor you once loved.

[luvyeni]

TWO DUMB VIRGINS ๑. ( 박지성 )

PART ONE. A B friend group …

𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗘 ──── you wanted to lose it . he was tired of being made fun by his friends. both of you thinking he’d pull out fast enough… but what can you expect from two stupid virgins ? …

( 対 ) park jisung + fem. reader genre young parent au , smau · contains! mentions of sex. pregnancy talk. crude language. jokes among friends mature content

𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ let’s get this going , i’m so excited about this !! the taglist for this is closed tho , i won’t be adding anyone else until the end when it’s fully released 🖤

you weren’t against the idea of losing your virginity; you weren’t innocent by any means , you knew what porn was, you were an adult… but when it came to the idea of losing your virginity the thought of it petrified you. what if it hurt so bad you cried? what if you regret it? what if the guy sucked in bed and only cared about getting his rocks off? everytime you got with a guy these thoughts plagued you and you ended up chickening out , leaving the guy with blue balls. 

“it’s not that bad i swear.” yuna said. “of course it hurts a little , there’s something that’s at least 6 inches going inside you.” you cringed hearing her talk. “but it isn’t supposed to hurt that bad, if it does he’s definitely doing it completely wrong.” yunjin said. “oh my god what if he does it completely wrong and like hurts me to the point where i can no longer have sex?” you stressed , the girls in front of you shaking their head at your dramatics. “i don’t want my first time to be my last time.”  chenle sat down in the booth of the cafe the three of you met up for lunch at. “you three still on the virgin talk.”

“yesterday i invited a boy over, 10 outta 10.” you said. “we were kissing, it was perfect.” chenle nodded. “and then your brain got in the way?” you sighed and nodded. “and he wasn’t mean about it, but like how embarrassing that me,  a 23 year old, is scared of having sex?” 

“look no one is rushing you to lose your virginity now, take as long as you need.” yunjin reassured. “besides , the men out here are trash.” yuna said. “so you really aren’t missing much.” as much as she was probably right , it’s seems like it was all people were talking about. 

meanwhile, jisung sat in a cafe of thel campus, holding his head down low as his friends laughed at joke haechan made — a joke made at his expense… his virginity. “why is this so funny?” he said. “i don’t know.” haechan shrugged. “making fun of the 23 year old virgin is very funny.” jisung rolled his eyes. “haha laugh at the virgin , sorry im not fucking every girl and guy who looks my way.” 

“well yeah , cause you aren’t fucking anyone.” the table erupted into laughter once more. “jisung don’t let them rush you.” mark spoke up. “yeah how many times has haechan found himself sitting in a clinic for antibiotics?” renjun said bluntly. “or in the line of a drug store with a morning after?” jeno followed up. “or a pregnancy test.” haechan sat up to defend himself. “hey i only stood in line for a pregnancy test once.”

“isn’t once enough for you to learn to wrap your dick up or lock it away?” jaemin said. “do i tell you what to do with jeno in our shared apartment?” haechan argued back. “hey don’t turn this on us.” jisung listened to them bicker back and forth. “the point being , don’t just lose your virginity because of peer pressure.” mark said, jaemin stopping his argument with haechan just to speak. “and once you do lose it , don’t go fucking everyone who looks at you.” haechan gasped. “are you slutshaming me?” which jaemin nodded. “yes i am you whore.” 

“there’s a party tonight that a friend of mine is throwing.” chenle said over the phone.. “i’m sure seulgi can let you off for one night?” you really didn’t feel like partying, but the other option wasn’t pleasant either. “i can ask.” throwing your bag down to the ground , your cat coming up to caress your calf with her tail. “im sure she’s gonna say yes , she loves you.” he said. “duh who else is willing to come in on a sunday to do the 79 year old grandma that only wants to talk about how much she hates her children and complains about how much she hates the haircut?”  you spoke sarcastically. “but she keeps coming back?” you snort. “that’s our problem , i’ll text her to see if i can get off.”

to seulgi : night off please 😃 4:30pm read

from seulgi : grandma? sunday? 4:35pm read

“shit.” you hissed. “grandma on sunday.” you whined. “think about it , it’s friday have a good time, recover saturday and make money on sunday.” he said. “think of the jell-o shots , think of the jell-o shots.” you sighed , nodding. “fine.”

to seulgi : you hate me don’t you 😔 ? 4:40pm read

from seulgi : go easy on the alcohol it’s like she can still smell it days later even if you shower 😉

“perfect , i’ll see you tonight!” chenle said. “yuna and yunjin are already on their way over i bet.” you hung up; just as the door of your apartment opened up. “let’s get ready bitch!” they came bursting into your room. “you both set this up.” yuna nodded. “we knew you’d tell us no , but chenle has special childhood friend privileges so we used him.” you shook your head. “also thank you because now i don’t have to work on sunday.” yunjin plopped down on your bed. “you got grandma again?” yuna asked, already going through your closet. “2 whole hours of nonstop yapping about how her kids never visit , only to be cursed at because she hates the hair cut.” you pouted. “lucky me.” 

“whos random house are we showing up to right now?” you asked as the car pulled up to the address. “why does chenle know so many dodgy people , it’s concerning.” yuna said. “maybe he’s the dodgy person in question , we never know, this could be his house.” yunjin said as the three of you exited the car; you could hear the music playing inside. “i wouldn’t be surprised he does stupid shit all the time i wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow convinced his parents to buy him a house.”

you opened the door of the house; the house being filled with people. “stay close by and don’t go home with strangers.” you said. “how about you try going home with a stranger.” you glared back at yuna who was smiling. “love you.” 

“who are you waiting for?” jisung asked chenle as they stood around the party; chenle looking around the party. “my A friend group , i invited them.” he said looking at his phone. “A friend group?” jaemin asked. “so does that make us the B friend group?” he nodded. “pretty much.” he stood up. “they’re here , i’ll see you guys.” and with that, he walked away. “i feel used all of sudden.” renjun spoke up , drink in his hand. jisung stood up. “what you have another friend group you invited?” 

“i wish.” 

you found yourself in the kitchen; looking for chenle after he promised you a drink only to never return with it. ‘it’s not easy entertaining both friend groups.’ he texted you. you scoffed maneuvering your way into the cramped kitchen to the drinks. “oh sorry.” a tall lanky boy was standing around. “you’re fine.” you said with a smile. “do you know what’s good?” he looked around. “um well i don’t drink much.” you smiled , he was cute the way he stumbled over his words. “that’s okay , what are you drinking?” he was so quick to show you his cup it made you giggle; which made his neck turn red. “i-i can make it for you.” you nodded. “thank you.” he sat his cup down; grabbing one for you. “it’s nothing special.” he said , pouring things into the cup. “he-here you go.”

he watched you nervously as you put the cup to your lips; taking a sip of the drink he made you. “do you like it?” he said ; here he was needing the approval of a stranger; haechan would've made a comment about him not having a backbone if he was here. “it’s good.” your voice bought him out of his thoughts. “really?” you nodded. “it’s not too sweet but also my throat isn’t burning from the excessive amount of alcohol.” 

you struck up a conversation with the boy; mostly leading it, he listened attentively as you spoke. “am i talking too much?” you asked , he quickly shook his head. “of course not , it’s just that i don’t normally talk to people except my friends at parties; especially — girls?” you interrupted him. “yeah; especially pretty girls like you.” he scratched the back of his neck. “you’re cute… what’s your name?” “jisung.” 

“you’re cute jisung.” 

he was about to respond when he saw haechan approaching the kitchen; why at this moment? he was so scared he’d say something that embarrassed him and he actually liked talking to you. “are you okay?” you asked. “i’m fine.” he said. “do you want to go somewhere else?” he asked , quickly before haechan reached the kitchen. “oh yeah sure, i guess.” you said , only for him to grab your wrist. “just trust me.” he said , quickly exiting the kitchen , walking straight past hyuck who turned his head like his eyes were deceiving him; but jisung didn’t even say anything, just kept guiding you through the people; and straight up the stairs to his room. 

you didn’t even say anything; and before you knew it, you were sitting on his bed. “how many people live here?” you asked , he sat down on his desk chair, rubbing his sweaty palm against his jeans. “me and five other guys.” you cringed. “frightening —  i am so sorry that was an inside thought.” he chuckled as you tried to defend yourself. “no it’s true , it’s frightening sometimes , but mark knows how to calm the house down , he’s the oldest.” you nodded. “i knew it had to be someone; either that or you have a girlfriend you’re not telling me about.”

“oh no , of course not!” he said. “i don’t have a girlfriend.” he realized how quickly he said that, cringing at how desperate that sounded. “im single.” he said much more calm. “good. me too.” he stood up from his chair. “i-i can put on some music.” he said. “anything you like , the music downstairs isn’t that good , jeno-hyung literally puts a playlist together of things he hears on the radio on the drive to work.” he said hooking his phone up to the speaker he stole from renjun. “anything is fine.” you said , standing up looking around his room; the mangas in the corner of his room , the small pile of clothes halfway kicked under the bed, that he clearly just kicked under there, you laughed to yourself. his school books on the table; he went to a different school than you — that was good. 

“do you like mangas?” he asked , follow behind you. “they’re okay, i prefer regular fantasy books , but i don’t hate them.” you went to turn around , only to bump into his chest with a small umph. “oh shit i’m sorry.” he held you by your shoulders — and out of a whim and probably a little bit of the alcohol; you kissed him.

the boy’s eyes widened; feeling your soft lips on his. it wasn’t his first kiss, but it surely was the best one he’s had. he shakenly put his hands on your waist , trying to steady himself; it’s just a kiss, it’s not a big deal… then why is he getting hard? he quickly pulled away out of shame. “is something wrong?” you asked. “i- i’ve never done this before.” he said. “kissed a girl?” you asked, he shook his head. “no-no i kissed a girl before.“ he stumbled over his words; trying to figure out what to say; but you helped him. “you’re a virgin?”

he sighed; this was his issue, girls didn’t want a virgin. they wanted someone who knew what they were doing; so he fully accepted that you were gonna reject him — but you didn’t , you grabbed his cheek, pulling him back into another kiss , using your other hand to guide his fallen one back to your waist, feeling him slightly grip it , making you gasp. “di-did i hurt you?” he said in between kisses. “no, please keep going.”

kissing him felt good; but you couldn’t deny the racing of your heart. those same concerns floating around in your head as he gently laid you on the bed , climbing on top of you. “i told you; i’ve never done this before , i don’t know what works and what doesn’t.” he confessed. “me either.” you said. “i don’t know what i’m doing either.” he was stunned. “you’re a virgin too?” you nodded. “so i guess we’re about to figure it out together?” 

pulling him into another deep kiss; pulling at his waist both of your hips moving messily against each other. it felt good; but you needed more. which is why instead of pushing him away like you normally did guys when it went too far , you pulled at his pants , signaling him to take them off. “do-do you want me to take them off?” you nodded. “ok-okay.” he stood up , hands shaking as he unbuckled his jeans. “i can take off my skirt.” you reached for your waist, both of you moving with haste but uncertainty, undressing yourselves. 

“can i be on top?” you suddenly asked. “it’s just that in the videos i watch , the girl is normally on too.” he could feel his cock twitching at the thought of you touching yourself to porn; how was it a stranger getting him like this. “su-sure.” he said , and he laid on his back , letting you climb on top of him. “is this okay?” he nodded , his hand coming up being your back to undo your bra. “you’re too good at that.” you giggled , his hips accidentally bucking up making you moan. “oh i liked that.” 

so he did it again , and you moaned again. “jisung this isn’t enough.” you whined out. “i don’t think i have any condoms.” he said. “b-but i think i can pull out in time.” he quickly followed. “you sure?” he nodded. both of you were clearly thinking with you lower parts; lowering his underwear , cheeks flushed with red as his erected cock slapped against his stomach. your eyes widening. “what? what’s wrong?” he said nervously. “you’re kinda big , how am i supposed to fit that inside me?” 

“oh um , maybe we can just try only try a little bit.” you nodded , grabbing his cock; feeling it in his heavy length in your hand. “i guess i just stroke it?” he nodded , moaning out as you slowly moved your hand. “is this okay?” he nodded. “i-i like it , bu-but can you speed up just a bit.” he bit down on his lip to contain his moans. “please don’t hide them , i like them.” you said, and he whined; he was about to cum. “wait fuck , wait let’s try and do it now i don’t think im gonna last if we keep this.” 

you lifted yourself up a bit; hovering over his length. “yo-you can go slow.” he said , you slowly sunk down on him , letting his cock slowly filled you up; just as you suspected it hurt , but not as bad as you thought it would be. “fuck.” he sighed. “fuck that feels so good.” you fully sat down on him. “does it hurt?” you nodded. “a little bit , but it’s fine.” you said , slowly moving up and down on his cock. “you took it all , fuck your really small down there , i can barely move.” he cursed , both of you moaning out as you finally got your groove. 

here you both were music from the outside and in the room fading into the background as you both got lost in each other; two strangers, all those nerves you had about losing your virginity gone as you rode jisung. jisung could hear haechan's voice in his head , it was annoying but he couldn’t wait to tell it to him. “wait wait fuck.” he grabbed your hips to stop you. “i’m not gonna last if you’re on top.” he said. “can i get on top?” 

you both switch positions and he soon was on top of you; slowly pushing himself back inside you. “faster , i can take it.” he let out a whimper like moan as he felt you better , he was deeper inside you , his cock kissing your cervix over and over. “i think-i think im gonna cum.” you gasped out. “really?” he cursed. “me too.” 

both of you now chasing your highs; his hips slapping against yours. “ji- oh my god.” your moans getting louder. “ugh fuck!” you scream as you reached your first ever orgasm outside of your fingers. “ah , fuck fuck fuck.” he moaned , he pulled out , ropes of his cum shooting from his cock on to your stomach. “shit i’m sorry i couldn’t help it.” he said breathlessly. “did you pull out in time?” you asked. “yea-yeah.” he said , you sighed. “shit let me get something to clean you up.” 

your eyes look around the room as you wait for the boys return. “are you okay?” he asked. “you seem to be out of it.” his eyes widened. “are you regretting it? did i do something wrong?” he said. “no no you’re fine.” you said. “it’s just that , i didn’t care when i lost my virginity , but i didn’t think it would be today , let alone with you.” you chuckled to yourself as he handed you a rag. “is that a bad thing?” he said nervously. “no , for a virgin you knew what you were doing.” his face turned red. “th-thanks i guess.”

“so what now?” he asked. “do we just like go our separate ways and forget this happened i’m not sure how this works.” he said , both of you now clothed. “well i don’t know wh—” before you could say anything your phone was blowing up. “oh shit i have to go.” you said , looking around. “here’s my number , use it if you want.” you quickly wrote something down , running out of the room. 

he walked over to the desk , picking up the piece of paper… he couldn’t read the last 4 numbers. he quickly opened the door trying to find you , but he was unsuccessful. “who are you looking for?” renjun came out of the bathroom. “oh no one.” he said. “well come on , walk with me to get another drink.” he silently nodded at the boy , following behind , hoping to find you down there.

unfortunately, you were already out the door , yuma had broken a heel trying to drag a drunk chenle out of the house. “i’m gonna kill him when he’s sober.” you and yunjin grabbed his legs. “i’m gonna kill him when we get into the car.” the three of you tossing him in the back seat. “i love you all.” he slurred. “friend group A for the win.” was the last thing he said , before closing his eyes. “friend group A.” yunjin who was in the front seat over it , waved him off. “it’s chenle who knows.” 

all the way home , you kept checking your phone hoping he’d text you — but he never did , you sighed. “what’s wrong , you keep sighing at your phone.” yuna asked. “nothing , just thinking about the recovery tomorrow.” you said. “you’ll be fine.” you both looking at chenle. “him i’m not so sure.”

“yn!” chenle shouted from your bed. “yn!” you turned facing him. “will you go to bed.” you said , checking your phone again. “and don’t throw up in my bed or i’ll murder you.” he whined , murmuring under his breath. “my bestfriend hates me.” he said. “she cares about her stupid phone.” he passed  back out on the bed. still no call from him. “guess he got scared.” you thought , sighing one last time before standing up , climbing into bed next to chenle. “see here i am.” you said. “good , your bed sucks.” you scoffed.

“i’m gonna wake you up in the morning by banging on two frying pans.”

( 🏷️ ). @starsungwrld @neverbeurs @chocolate-scoups @delinalovesriize @cupid-ville @maiyhw @cosmicwintr @nctislifue @httpsxnox @hyunjinslongasslegs @andyyjw @kookssecret @ithinkulikeme @meowmeowhoon @jae-n0 @413ktz @httpjiprk @antifrggile @ourshin @itskpopular @smiles4hyuck @jaeminnnanaaa17 @bbyinni @sillypaperspyeagle-blog @n0hyuck @catdonut657 @markleesleftpinky @clean-soap @janjoonty @veilstqr @mikeeel @cigsaftersuh @kittykyuuu @akirawhore

𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 PREV. TDV. NEXT. .ᐟ

[d3stinyist1red]

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ɢʏᴍ ʀᴀᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

yan gym rat who first knows you bc you helped him with lifting, back when he was a lanky dude who had only football as motivation

yan gym rat who is now buff asf and is the football quarter back, now using u as motivation

yan gym rat who goes to your school and tries so hard to start convo with you, even tho hes popular, hes too nervous to even ask u for a pencil

yan gym rat who has the BIGGEST FATTEST crush on u, fangirling over you whenever he sees you at the gym, pratically foaming at the mouth

yan gym rat who finally gains the courage to talk to you and become your wife friend,

"H-Hi!" He says as he walks up to you, you stopped midway from doing a pull-up, looking at him curiously. "I-I..er..I saw you at sc-school and at the g-gym often, and wondered...If you wanted to be friends?" He said as he looked at you shyly.

You got down, and smiled at his shy figure. "Yeah sure! Wait whats your name?"

yan gym rat who became your friend after that, visiting the gym every time you did so he could see you.

yan gym rat who is a nervous wreck whenever you talk to him, his palms get sweaty. When you talks to him, his brain turns to mush. He wants to say something smooth or cool to impress you, but instead, he just nods a lot, stutters and mumbles things like, “Ye-yeah, totally” or “For sure.” Inside, he’s panicking because he thinks he sounds so awkward.

yan gym rat who wants to text you 24/7, to js tell you about his day and shit ,but he drafts the message like 10 times, deleting it each time because he’s worried about coming off too eager or clingy.

yan gym rat who literally cries whenever you text even a lil dry to his messages, thinking you don't wanna talk to him and that he should throw himself off a cliff for bothering you

yan gym rat who bites his nails and picks at his skin whever you talk about someone else to him, scowling the whole time,

yan gym rat who wants you manhandle him and use your strength against him, wanting your soft hands around his throat as his tongue lolls out his mouth

yan gym rat who whenever someone tells him

"oh yeah, and I talked to y/n today, she was pretty chil-"

"did she talk about me?! Did she look at the ceiling? What was she wearing? Did her eyes direct to the ground?" He needs to know every detail.

yan gym rat who compliments you so so much that it makes ur ego bigger day by day

"Ur a-arms are so big, so strong.."He says as his hands trail down your arms, hearts in his eyes as he stares deeply at your body. His hands then went to your abs, drooling as he rubs them

yan gym rat who sometimes, his jealousy comes out in a passive-aggressive way. If your too focused on talking about someone else during your guys workout, he’ll lift heavier weights or push himself harder, just to show off.

"Yeah? Does that asshole also lift as much as me? Has that asshole tried kissing your abs before like I have? Has that dickhead made a whole fanpage about you like I have?!" He says as he glares at you as you tilt your head.

"Im talking about the lunch lady??"

yan gym rat who is ur gym buddy who luvs u so so much<33

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙you want me to? | LS2˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: logan sargeant x james vowles assistant!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: just fluff!!!! i loveee this plot hehe

summary: in which your new job facilitates you in finding new love

a/n: i love this request & i luv writing for logan !!! not sure if i executed it super well tho let me know what you think 💘 my recent emojie now is just: 🇺🇸🦅

request!!!: May I suggest a Logan Sargeant x James Vowles assistant! Reader? Like her job is to get the boys stuff they might need and to like help out around the paddock and Logan keeps asking her to get him stuff as an excuse to talk to her. And people start to notice when Alex and James start lightly making fun of them in interviews and stuff. Just think it would be funny

my masterlist

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 188,274 others

yoursername shit's weird

view all 4,183 comments

lilymhe PRETTY GIRLLL

yourusername 💞💞💞

logansargeant heyyyy

*comment deleted by logansargeant*

logansargeant hope ur not calling me weird

yourusername jury's out

alex_albon yes queen

yourusername werkkk btch

user1 who is she??

user2 james vowles new assistant

user3 logan is in love with her i can already tell

yoursister proud of you!

liked by yourusername

yourusername posted a story

liked by alex_albon, logansargeant, and 58,173 others

alex_albon the boss in question is...logan sargeant?

yourusername he's a growing boy !

lilymhe lol, logan?

yourusername almost everytime!

lilymhe aww he just wants to see youuu

yourusername 😂

user4 i want her job

alex_albon posted a story

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and 308,134 others

user5 is that y/n

user6 who ???

lilymhe hahah he has the biggest crush on her

alex_albon & everyone knows it too

yourusername ALEX THIS SOUNDS SO MEAN LOL

alex_albon srry for bullying u

interview ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

lilymhe

liked by alex_albon, yourusername, and 527,193 others

lilymhe vibey

tagged: alex_albon, yourusername

view all 8,173 comments

user12 omg y/n in the last pic so cute

user13 omg i luv her she's fit into williams garage so perfectly

yourusername my best girl

alex_albon just for the record she is my girlfriend not yours ok?

yourusername & does she know that?

alex_albon i would hope so yes

lilymhe 🤔

alex_albon 😍

liked by lilymhe

logansargeant 😍

*comment deleted by logansargeant*

user14 did anyone else see logan's deleted comment

user15 yup i think james is right 😛

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 254,973 others

yourusername settling in!!!

view all 3,872 comments

logansargeant very nice pic of me thanks y/n

yourusername of course 😝

williamsracing we love u y/n 😍

yourusername 😘 u know how i feel about u

williamsracing 🤭

jv.f1 y/n stop flirting with the williams admin

yourusername srry 😳

user16 LOL not james telling her off

user17 y/n i didnt know i needed u in my life

oscarpiastri yup settling in i see 👀

yourusername what does this mean oscar

oscarpiastri no further comment

user18 she's gonna become a wag soon mark my words

messages ->

interview ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

alex_albon

liked by lilymhe, georgerussell63, and 692,273 others

alex_albon common williams W's

tagged: lilymhe, yourusername, logansargeant

view all 6,938 comments

user24 OMG hi y/n

user25 omg is y/n sharing an umbrella with lily

yourusername rahhh 🦅

alex_albon subtle 😜

lilymhe my girl tired of subtle

user26 omgggg

user27 something is happening i can feel it in my bones

user28 yea y/n & logan falling in luvvvv

logansargeant yea i look so cool and absolutely not awkward at all

alex_albon your awkwardness is all part of your american charm

logansargeant im blushing now thanks

user29 my fav williams era ever

yourusername posted a story

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 79,172 others

lilymhe i just choked on my tea ☕️

yourusername HAHAH ok but why did he say i dont like americans

lilymhe idk but he's so in love with you i can tell

yourusername 😭😭 dont say stuff like that

oscarpiastri you better be wearing clothes under that

yourusername oh no party pooper piastri is here!!!! the clothes police!!!

oscarpiastri ur the worst thing to happen to williams

yourusername ask logan what he thinks 😇

user30 omg this is crazy

user31 HELLO?????

user32 is this the most unsubtle indirect ever

messages ->

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

logansargeant posted a story

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and 284,293 others

alex_albon AHHHHHHHH

lilymhe omg it's happening

oscarpiastri finally

user37 omg they're dating they have to be

user38 THIS IS SOOO Y/N

user39 AHHH OMG

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 98,293 others

alex_albon TEXT ME BACK YOU HORRIBLE PEOPLE

lilymhe i need to know EVERYTHING

yourusername 🤭

user40 omg now it's REALLY confirmed

user41 my favourite thing ever

user42 SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS

user43 i want this

twitter ->

instagram ->

logansargeant

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 392,283 others

logansargeant i pulled a baddieee

tagged: yourusername

view all 9,283 comments

user49 omg omg omg

user50 best day of my life

oscarpiastri awww i feel bad for ever being mean to her now srry y/n

logansargeant when were u mean to her 😤

yourusername he's a bully logan

oscarpiastri nooo😨

alex_albon pls dont leave me out pls pls

yourusername NEVER EVER EVER

logansargeant how could we, u wouldnt let us

alex_albon 🤨

lilymhe DOUBLE DATE WHEN

yourusername omg yes yes yes

yourusername I LOVE YOU AHH 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

logansargeant i love you 🥰

jv.f1 you're welcome 👍

liked by logansargeant, yourusername, alex_albon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri

THE END 💙

[amirawrah]

⭐︎ a look into jude's relationship side

♥︎ word count: 8,622

♥︎ amirah: at last innit, my wilo's relationship side would always be on top but i really like this tho so i hope you all like thia too. i think i tried my best with it even tho i think im losing my jude juice but enjoy loves.🫶

───────────⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎───────────

Jude is insanely proud to call you his girlfriend. He will find ways to bring you up in interviews, subtly (or not so subtly) mentioning “my girl” with the biggest smile.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The interviewer asked a question about Real Madrid’s recent win, but Jude's answer drifted somewhere else entirely.

“Well, the team’s been working hard, training’s been intense,” he started, nodding seriously, but then his gaze flicked toward someone just off-camera—you. The smile that spread across his face could’ve lit up Santiago Bernabéu. “But I’ve also got my girl keeping me grounded, you know? She’s been my peace through all the chaos.”

You could hear the PR manager let out a small sigh behind you—this was the third time he’d found a way to mention you during the post-match media rounds.

The interviewer chuckled, clearly charmed. “You always bring her up, man. Must be serious.”

“Yea of course,” Jude said without missing a beat. “She’s special. Keeps me focused, reminds me who I am when everything else gets loud. I’d be lost without her, honestly.”

Your cheeks burned, heat rushing to them despite the cool breeze drifting through the stadium tunnel. You tried to hide behind your phone, but you knew he’d seen the way your smile widened, how your eyes softened.

Later that night, curled up on the couch in his hoodie and your fluffy socks, he pressed a kiss to your temple and whispered, “I hope you know how proud I am to be yours. I’ll never stop talking about you. Ever.”

You rolled your eyes with a grin. “You’re gonna make people sick with how obsessed you are.”

“Let them be sick,” he laughed, pulling you closer. “I’ve got the best girl in the world—why would I keep that quiet?” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

He’s a big hand on your thigh guy when you’re sitting next to each other—whether you’re chilling at home or courtside at a game or something.

Late-night FaceTimes if he’s away for matches, even if he’s exhausted. If he falls asleep while talking to you, he wakes up the next morning with the goofiest grin.

Protective, but not possessive. If he ever hears someone talking about you sideways, he gives them a look, and they immediately rethink their choices.

Loves to post you subtly—like an artsy pic of you tying your shoes, or a blurry shot of you laughing, captioned with something dumb like “Don’t let her fool you, she’s actually evil.”

Physical touch is a must—forehead kisses, back hugs, and pulling you into him when you're walking together. He loves resting his chin on your shoulder.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ You didn’t need to look behind you to know it was Jude. His arms wrapped around your waist from behind, strong and familiar, pulling you into the warmth of his chest as he buried his face into the curve of your neck.

“Mmm, missed you,” he mumbled, voice thick from sleep. He’d only been in the other room, but Jude acted like every second apart was a mini heartbreak.

“You were gone for five minutes,” you teased, leaning back into him.

“Too long,” he said, smiling into your skin before pressing a slow kiss to your shoulder. “You smell good. What is that?”

“Peace,” you whispered, grinning.

He chuckled, the sound vibrating against your back, and you could feel the way his fingers traced lazy patterns along your waist. You started moving toward the kitchen, and just like that, he followed—fingers still linked with yours—before looping an arm around your shoulders and tugging you closer as you walked.

Every few steps, he’d give your hand a squeeze or nudge your temple with his chin. And when you finally stopped to pour yourself some tea, he rested his chin on your shoulder, watching quietly.

“This is my favorite view,” he said softly, his arms sliding around your waist again. “You. Right here. Just like this.”

You turned to face him, and before you could even speak, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, lingering for a moment like he was grounding himself in you.

“You’re clingy today,” you whispered, smiling up at him.

“Always am,” he shrugged, unapologetic. “Can’t help it. I love you so much.”

And with another forehead kiss and his arms around you like you were his entire universe, you believed every word. ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

You two have a secret handshake—Jude made it up one day, and now he refuses to dap you up any other way.

Keeps your relationship somewhat private, but everyone knows how much he adores you.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ You weren’t in his Instagram photos, not really. A blurry hand reaching for coffee in the corner of the frame, your silhouette reflected in his sunglasses, your shoes next to his on a balcony in Ibiza. Jude had mastered the art of the “soft launch”—private, but not secret.

And yet… everyone knew.

The way he looked at you when he thought no one was watching? Yeah, people noticed. The way his whole face softened when your name came up in conversation? His teammates teased him about it relentlessly.

You were at a Real Madrid training session, tucked quietly off to the side, chatting with a staff member. Jude was supposed to be cooling down—but instead, he was walking straight toward you with that lazy, half-smile he only gave you.

“Bro’s whipped,” you heard Cama mutter under his breath, and someone else laugh.

Jude didn’t care. He came up behind you and rested his hand low on your back, fingers brushing the hem of your hoodie. Not a word, just a quiet, grounding touch that said mine without saying anything at all.

“You good, love?” he asked, low enough for only you to hear.

You nodded, biting your lip to hide your smile. “Go stretch.”

He leaned in, lips brushing your cheek, then whispered with a grin, “I’d rather stretch with you later.”

You swatted his arm and shook your head, cheeks warm.

Later that day, he posted a carousel on Instagram: one moody photo of the pitch, a candid of his boots, a video of a sunset—and the last slide, a blurry photo of you laughing, head thrown back, sunglasses on, your face barely visible.

No tag. No caption. Just a heart emoji.

The comments were a mix of detective work and soft chaos:

“We know that laugh anywhere.”

“Jude pls just hard launch her already.”

“His whole aura changes when he talks about her I can’t.”

“Idc who she is, just know he’s in LOVE love.”

And he was.

Even if the world never got a clear picture of you, everyone could see it in the way he smiled when he said “my girl.” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

When he posts you on his story, it’s either a fire pic of you looking stunning or the most unhinged, blurry pic with “look at this menace” as the caption.

If you're at his games, he always looks for you in the stands. If he scores? He’s pointing at you immediately.

Whispers in your ear in public just to see you laugh, then acts like he said nothing.

You make fun of his accent sometimes, and he’ll mock yours right back.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ You were both curled up on the couch, sharing popcorn and watching a movie you weren’t even paying attention to anymore. Jude had just said something—something completely ordinary—but the way he said it made you snort.

“Lemme just grab me coat,” you repeated, mimicking his Birmingham accent with exaggerated vowels and wide eyes.

Jude turned slowly toward you, brows raised. “That’s how you think I sound?”

You nodded seriously. “Exactly like that. ‘Me coat,’ ‘me boots,’ like we’re in a medieval tavern or somethin.”

“Oh, you wanna talk accents now?” he grinned, shifting to face you fully. “Go on then, say ‘water.”

You narrowed your eyes, refusing.

“Go on, babe. Just say it. Say water.”

You sighed dramatically. “Water.”

Jude clutched his chest like you’d personally offended the Queen. “Wah-tuh? Nah, that’s criminal. Where’s the ‘t’? It just disappeared! It’s in witness protection!”

You burst out laughing. “It’s not witness protection, you muppet—it’s a regional dialect!”

“Yeah? Well your regional dialect makes it sound like you’re choking on a vowel,” he teased, eyes sparkling.

You stuck your tongue out at him and he leaned forward, catching your face in his hands like he was studying you.

“I love your accent,” he said suddenly, softer now. “Even when you butcher mine.”

You raised a brow. “You love when I butcher your accent?”

“Yeah,” he smirked. “’Cause then I get to do this—” He cleared his throat, then said in your voice, “‘Jude, can you rub my feet? Jude, can you bring me snacks?’”

“Wow.” You threw a pillow at him, but he caught it midair. “That’s exactly what I sound like.”

“You’re welcome,” he said proudly.

Later, as you lay together in the quiet, his hand tracing shapes on your arm, he whispered, “Say it again.”

You blinked sleepily. “Say what?”

“Water. Just once more. For me.”

You groaned. “You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

“Never,” he laughed, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Say it again, then.” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

You two have that best friends and lovers dynamic. One second, you’re being all soft with each other; the next, you’re arguing over who would survive longer in a zombie apocalypse.

Your best conversations happen when it’s just the two of you, late at night, half-asleep, tangled up in the sheets, talking about everything and nothing.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The world outside had finally gone still. No press, no training, no obligations—just the two of you, wrapped up in the quiet.

The sheets were twisted around your legs, one of Jude’s arms draped lazily across your waist, his fingers tracing slow circles on your skin. The only light in the room came from the soft amber glow of the bedside lamp he insisted on keeping on, “just in case you want water or somethin’.”

You were facing each other, noses nearly touching, his curls slightly flattened from your pillow. His voice was low, scratchy from sleep, and he was talking about something completely random.

“…and then I said, ‘Bro, why would you wear that in public?’ Like he looked like a traffic cone.”

You laughed, soft and muffled, trying not to wake the world outside your little bubble. “You’re mean.”

“I’m honest,” he grinned, eyes fluttering half shut.

There was a long beat of silence. Not uncomfortable. Just peaceful.

Then he asked, “Do you think this—us—is gonna last forever?”

You blinked, heart skipping a little. Not from nerves, but from the softness in his voice. Like he was handing you something fragile and precious.

You nodded slowly, brushing your fingers against his jaw. “I think it already feels like forever. Like I’ve known you in every version of my life.”

He smiled, eyes gleaming even in the dim light. “Yeah. You feel like home, y’know?”

A yawn slipped from his mouth mid-sentence and he buried his face in your neck, mumbling something about how good your skin felt.

You giggled, threading your fingers through his hair. “What if we wake up tomorrow and forget this whole conversation?”

“Then I’ll just tell you again,” he whispered, voice now a sleepy hum. “Every night and Forever.”

And with that, his breathing slowed, syncing with yours. The night held the two of you like a secret, tangled in sheets and sleepy truths, talking about everything and nothing—right where love lives. ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

He has this way of looking at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention—like you hung the stars just for him.

Sometimes, you’ll catch him staring, and he’ll just smirk. “What? I can’t admire my girl?”

Loves it when you play with his fingers absentmindedly while you’re watching TV.

Loves when you sit on the bathroom counter and talk to him while he gets ready for training.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ You were still in his t-shirt—massive on you, hanging just above your thighs—as you hopped up onto the bathroom counter, legs swinging gently. The early morning light spilled through the window, painting the tiles golden, and Jude was standing at the sink, toothbrush in hand, shirtless, curls still damp from his quick shower.

This had become a ritual: you, on the counter, rambling about everything from your dream last night to what you wanted for breakfast, while he got ready for training.

“…and then for some reason, I was chasing a llama through Westfield with a shopping trolley. I don’t know what that means, but I woke up so stressed.”

Jude spat out his toothpaste, laughing. “A llama? In Westfield?”

“Don’t judge me, dream logic doesn’t have to make sense.”

He reached for his moisturizer and glanced over at you, his eyes lingering just a second longer than necessary. “You’re so cute in the mornings. Still half-asleep, talkin’ nonsense, legs swingin’ like a little kid.”

“I’ll kick you,” you warned, grinning.

He leaned in and kissed your knee. “Yeah, go on then. Do it.”

You watched as he rubbed product into his face, muscles moving under smooth skin, his reflection calm and focused. You loved this version of him—off the pitch, still soft around the edges, yours.

“I like this,” you said quietly.

He looked up, meeting your eyes in the mirror. “What?”

“This. You. Getting ready. Me sitting here. Talking about llamas.”

He smiled, the kind of smile that made your chest ache a little. “Yeah? You know I only ever take this long 'cause I like when you sit there and talk to me.”

You blinked. “Wait, so you drag out your skincare routine just to keep me here longer?”

“Every morning,” he shrugged with a wink, grabbing his cologne. “Gotta soak you in before I go.”

You rolled your eyes, heart full. “You’re such a simp.”

He stepped between your knees and leaned in, pressing a warm kiss to your forehead. “For you? Always.” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

If you’re cooking, he’ll come up behind you, wrap his arms around your waist, and press a kiss to your neck like it’s second nature.

If you’re on a plane together, he lets you sleep on his shoulder and makes sure you have a blanket.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The plane was somewhere over the Atlantic, cruising through a sea of stars and clouds, dimmed cabin lights casting a sleepy glow over everything. Most of the team had passed out hours ago, scattered through first class in hoodies and eye masks, legs stretched and headphones in.

But you?

You were curled up next to Jude, your head nestled perfectly into the curve of his shoulder, his Real Madrid zip-up jacket draped over your lap like a makeshift blanket.

He hadn’t moved since you dozed off—partly because he didn’t want to wake you, partly because he was savoring it. Your breath was warm against his neck, your hand resting lightly on his chest. Every now and then, you’d shift slightly, and he’d adjust without a word—tugging the blanket higher, brushing your hair away from your face, pressing the softest kiss to the top of your head.

He looked down at you, eyes soft, heart doing that quiet ache thing it always did when you were like this—peaceful, trusting, his.

You stirred a little, mumbling something incoherent, and he leaned in.

“Shhh,” he whispered, voice barely audible. “Sleep, baby. I got you.”

A flight attendant walked by, smiled when she saw you both. Jude just nodded politely, then turned back to you—his girl, fast asleep on his shoulder, wrapped in his jacket, flying somewhere between dreams and reality.

And in that moment, at 30,000 feet, he’d never felt more grounded.⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

Jude will never let you live down any embarrassing moment. Trips over nothing? “Damn, babe, you okay? Want me to carry you everywhere now?”

If you’re ever apart for too long, best believe he’s making up for it the second he sees you again. Long, tight hugs where he just breathes you in before whispering, “Missed you, baby.”

Texts You Mid-Training: Even when he’s busy, he sneaks a text like "Thinking about you. Hope you're having a good day ❤️”

Texts You From Across the Room: If you’re in a group setting, he’ll send you a stupid message like “You look mad cute over there” or “Let’s leave and get McDonald’s.”

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The room was buzzing—laughter, glasses clinking, music low in the background. You were seated across from Jude at a long dinner table, surrounded by mutual friends, some of his teammates, their partners, and way too many inside jokes flying around.

You were mid-conversation with someone when your phone lit up in your lap.

Jude 🤍 you look mad cute over there let’s dip and get maccies. just you + me + fries.

You bit your lip to hide your smile.

You looked up across the table. Jude was pretending to listen to whatever Vini was saying, chin resting in his palm, but the corner of his mouth twitched when your eyes met. He winked, quick and subtle, like he hadn’t just offered to abandon this semi-fancy dinner for fast food and alone time with you.

You texted back:

you’re insufferable. and yes, obviously.

His reply came instantly:

Jude 🤍 knew it. meet me by the coat rack in 10. we’ll ghost like legends.

You glanced at him again, and this time he was fully smiling. Not big and showy. Just that smug, quiet little smirk he got when he knew he had you wrapped around his finger—though, truthfully, you had him just as bad.

Ten minutes later, you were slipping on your coat as Jude “went to the bathroom,” and the next thing you knew, you were in his car, windows slightly fogged, shoes kicked off, sharing a large fries and singing terribly to the radio.

No cameras. No pressure. Just the two of you and a bag of McNuggets, laughing like you hadn’t just ditched a room full of people for something a little more you. ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

Steals Your Skincare Products: “Babe, what does this serum do?” Next thing you know, he’s fully committed to your skincare routine.

Puppy Dog Eyes When He Wants Something: “Baaaabe,” he drags out, giving you that look when he wants you to get up and grab something for him—even though he’s closer to it.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ You were curled up on the couch, wrapped in your favorite blanket, halfway through an episode of Love Island, snacks perfectly balanced on your lap. Comfort mode: fully activated.

Jude was on the other end of the sofa, literally closer to the remote, phone charger, and the half-empty bottle of water on the table. But of course… that didn’t stop him.

“Baaaaabe,” he whined, voice stretching the word like he was auditioning for a soap opera. You didn’t even look up.

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was gonna ask,” he pouted.

“I do. You want me to get something that’s exactly three inches from your hand.”

“Okay but I’m comfortable,” he argued, which made you turn your head slowly and give him the look.

“I’m literally cocooned in this blanket. If I move, it’s over.”

He blinked. Then—there it was. The look. Puppy dog eyes, bottom lip slightly out, that soft little head tilt like he was the most pitiful boy in the world.

“Pleaseeee,” he said in the smallest voice. “My girl. My angel. My sweet love.”

You squinted at him. “Don’t try to butter me up.”

“I’d never,” he gasped dramatically. “But also… the charger’s just there. And my phone’s on 2%.”

You groaned but shoved the blanket off anyway, grabbing the charger and tossing it at him with the flair of a dramatic lead in a West End play.

“Happy now?”

He grinned, plugging it in and leaning over to kiss your cheek. “Ecstatic. Thank you, my love.”

You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks were warm. Because yeah—he was a menace. A spoiled, dramatic, clingy menace.

But he was your menace. ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

One time you two went to a photobooth and he kept the picture in his locker

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ It had been one of those rare afternoons—just the two of you, no media, no training, no schedule. You were wandering through some tucked-away street in Madrid, iced coffees in hand, when you passed a tiny old-school photo booth tucked between a bakery and a record shop.

Jude stopped, took one look at it, and grinned. “Get in.”

You blinked. “Now?”

“Yeah,” he said, already pulling the curtain back. “We’re making core memories.”

The machine barely fit you both, knees bumping, laughter echoing off the tiny walls.

The first photo was mid-laugh—you hadn’t even been ready.

The second, you both tried to be serious but cracked up halfway through.

The third, he kissed your cheek, completely catching you off guard.

And the fourth?

He looked right at the camera, grinning.

You looked right at him.

When the strip slid out a few seconds later, you both stood there, staring at it, giggling like kids.

But Jude pocketed it.

“What—don’t I get a copy?”

“Nah,” he smirked, tucking it into his wallet. “This one’s for me.”

You thought nothing of it at the time.

Months later, one of the Real Madrid staff posted a behind-the-scenes locker room pic on Instagram—nothing wild, just a celebration moment after a big win.

But in the corner, barely visible, taped inside Jude’s open locker…

There it was.

The photo strip.

Slightly crumpled, edges worn, but still stuck right there next to his wrist tape and boots.

You zoomed in instantly, heart doing that stupid flutter.

The next time you saw him, you leaned against the doorframe of his room and said, “So… locker decorations, huh?”

He didn’t even try to act cool. Just grinned and shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“It’s my favorite photo. Why wouldn’t I keep it close?” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

The type to pull you in by your jaw for a deep, slow kiss before a match—just to get you flustered.

Will randomly kiss your shoulder if you’re sitting next to him, no reason needed.

If you ever feel insecure, he’s on it immediately. He won’t let you say anything negative about yourself. “Nah, I don’t want to hear that. You’re perfect to me.”

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ It was late—too late to be overthinking, but there you were, lying in bed, scrolling through photos on your phone. You’d been doing it for a while now, swiping through your feed, comparing, wondering, self-doubting.

Jude had been on his phone too, but his attention was split. He glanced over at you, saw the way your brow furrowed, the way you tucked your lip between your teeth.

“Babe?” he asked, his voice low and soft, pulling you from your thoughts. “You okay?”

You shrugged, offering a half-smile. “Yeah, just… nothing really.”

He wasn’t buying it. Not for a second.

He turned over, propping himself up on one elbow, studying you with that warm, concerned look of his. “Don’t lie to me. What’s going on?”

You hesitated, then sighed. “I just… I don’t know. I feel a bit off. Like, maybe I’m not doing enough, or—”

“Stop,” he cut you off immediately, his hand gently cupping your face. His thumb brushed the skin of your cheek like he was trying to erase the uncertainty there. “No. I don’t want to hear any of that.”

You blinked, confused. “What?”

“You’re perfect. To me. Always have been. Always will be.” His voice was firm, no hesitation. “And I don’t want you thinking otherwise. Not for one second. So if you’re gonna talk like that about yourself again, I’m walking out of this room.”

Your eyes softened, the words from earlier fading away in the warmth of his gaze. “But I—”

“No buts.” He kissed your forehead lightly, his lips lingering a moment longer than necessary. “You’re everything I need, okay? And if you ever feel like you’re less than that, I’m right here. You’ve got no reason to feel anything less than amazing.”

A breath you didn’t know you were holding released. “I love you,” you whispered, your heart swelling.

He smiled, that soft, content smile you loved. “I love you more. But I’ll always remind you how perfect you are, even if you forget.”

You cuddled into his side, feeling like the weight of all your insecurities had been lifted, replaced with the quiet certainty of his love.

And as he pulled you closer, gently pressing a kiss to your temple, you knew you had everything you needed—because with him, you felt more than enough. ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

If someone flirts with you in front of him? He leans in and whispers in your ear, “You love making me mad, don’t you?” with that smug smirk of his.

If you’re ever in public and he catches you staring at him, he’ll lean in close, voice all deep, and say, “If you keep looking at me like that, we’re gonna have a problem.”

Will casually whisper something highly inappropriate in your ear during a party just to see your reaction. When you hit him, he just laughs. “What? I was just saying the truth.”

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The party was in full swing—loud music, chatter filling the air, and everyone mingling around. You were standing near the bar with a few of Jude’s teammates, a glass of wine in your hand as you chatted about nothing in particular, enjoying the warmth of the evening.

And then, from behind, you felt his presence—Jude sliding in beside you, his arm brushing against yours as he leaned in close.

“Hey babe,” he murmured, his voice low, almost teasing. You barely had time to turn toward him before his lips were right next to your ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine.

"You're looking incredibly hot tonight... Honestly, I’m not sure how I haven’t dragged you to the nearest bathroom yet.”

Your eyes widened, heart skipping a beat as you spun around to face him. “Jude!” you hissed, wide-eyed, but there was no stopping the smirk tugging at his lips.

He looked so damn innocent, but you could see the glint of mischief in his eyes. “What? I was just saying the truth,” he shrugged, laughing as your face flushed in embarrassment.

You swatted his chest playfully, but that only made him laugh harder. “I can’t believe you sometimes,” you muttered, trying to shake off the heat rising to your cheeks. “You’re lucky I’m not making this whole party uncomfortable.”

He chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist. “I didn’t think you’d mind that much. But I’ll admit… I love how you react.”

You shot him an exasperated look, but inside, you couldn't help but smile. He always had a way of making you blush, even in the most inappropriate moments.

“Jude,” you warned, “don’t test me, okay?”

He leaned in for a quick kiss on your cheek, laughing again as he pulled back. “You love me, though. And you know it.”

You rolled your eyes but let him pull you closer, the teasing smile never leaving his face.

“Just wait,” you muttered under your breath, “I’ll get you back.”

He raised an eyebrow, that teasing gleam still in his eye. “I’m looking forward to it.” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

When he’s feeling especially cocky, he runs his fingers over your lips while grinning. “So pretty… what else can that mouth do?”

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The atmosphere was a little different tonight—a bit more playful, a little charged with energy. You two were lounging on the couch at home after a night out with friends. The lights were dimmed, music softly playing in the background, and Jude was as relaxed as ever, his arm draped lazily over the back of the couch, his leg resting across yours.

You were mid-conversation, talking about something completely innocent—maybe a funny story about your day—but Jude wasn’t really listening.

He was watching you, eyes lingering on your lips as you spoke, a smug little grin slowly spreading across his face. You didn’t notice at first, too caught up in your own words, but then his hand slid closer, his fingers brushing lightly against your lower lip.

His grin grew wider. “So pretty…” he murmured, voice lower than usual, his thumb tracing over your lips gently. “What else can that mouth do?”

Your breath hitched, eyes darting up to his, catching the glint of mischief in his eyes. You opened your mouth to say something, but the words got stuck in your throat, your pulse quickening at the way he was watching you.

Jude was loving this—this was exactly the kind of cocky energy he thrived on. His fingers lingered just a little longer, pressing against your lips with a teasing, slow swipe, waiting for a reaction.

You finally managed to clear your throat, trying to stay composed, but you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks. “You’re such a menace,” you laughed, trying to brush off the sudden rush of nerves.

“Am I?” He leaned in closer, lowering his voice even more. “Or am I just being honest?”

You shot him a playful look, your hand reaching up to push his teasing hand away, but he caught your wrist, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I’d love to see tho…” His lips hovered just inches from yours, and you could practically feel the tension crackling between you.

You leaned in, closing the space between you, but just before your lips touched his, you pulled back with a teasing grin of your own.

“I think you already know,” you whispered, watching his smirk falter slightly as his breath caught.

He leaned back, looking both impressed and a little defeated. “You’re dangerous, you know that?”

You winked, giving him a playful shove. “You started it.”⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

If you’re teasing him, he shuts you up with a kiss—gripping your face and kissing you so good that you completely forget what you were saying. Pulls you into his lap and runs his hands slowly down your back, deepening the kiss just when you think he’s done.

His voice drops when he’s in control. That deep, slow, teasing tone that makes your legs weak. “Oh, you’re quiet now? That’s cute.”

If he’s frustrated after a game, best believe he’s taking it out somewhere else. “Long day, love. Think you can help me relax?”

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The locker room was still buzzing with post-game chatter, but Jude was already a little distant—his mind too wrapped up in the frustration from the match. He had played well, sure, but something about the game hadn’t sat right with him. Maybe it was a missed opportunity or a mistake he couldn’t shake. Either way, he was feeling the pressure.

You could tell the moment he stepped through the door, his jaw clenched, his brow furrowed as he made his way to you. His teammates were still laughing, but he didn’t seem to hear any of it. His eyes were on you.

“Hey,” you said softly, trying to get his attention as he walked over to you, his heavy boots thudding against the floor. You didn’t need to ask what was wrong—he was clearly frustrated.

He leaned down, brushing a lock of your hair behind your ear, his voice dropping low. “Long day, love.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Tough game?”

“Yeah,” he muttered, pulling you closer by the waist. His lips hovered near your ear, a quiet, almost possessive tone in his voice. “Think you can help me relax?”

The words made your heart skip a beat, the tension between you two shifting from casual concern to something far more intense. You could tell he needed to unwind, and you were more than happy to help, but you couldn’t ignore the way his fingers grazed your skin, or the heat in his eyes that made your pulse race.

“Relax, huh?” You teased, arching an eyebrow as you slid your hands up his chest, your fingertips lightly brushing against his collarbone. “And what exactly do you have in mind, Mr. Bellingham?”

He gave you that grin—the one that made your insides twist with anticipation. “I think you know exactly what I mean.”

Before you could respond, he gently tugged you into him, his lips pressing against yours in a deep, needy kiss. The kind that left no room for words, only the need to be closer, to forget the world outside of this moment.

He pulled back just enough to speak, his breath warm against your lips. “I need you, babe. You’re the only thing that’s gonna take my mind off this game.”

You nodded, your hands slipping around his neck as you melted into him. “Then let me take care of you.”

And with that, everything else faded away—the game, the frustration, the world outside. It was just the two of you, tangled in the quiet after the storm. ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

If you so much as whimper in his ear? He smirks immediately. “Oh? You like that, huh?”

Hotel room energy? Dangerous. He’s got nowhere to be, no training, just you and all the time in the world.

He loves running errands with you—even something as boring as grocery shopping. He’s pushing the cart, being silly, putting random snacks in, and pretending not to hear you when you tell him to put them back.

Denise absolutely adores you. From the moment she met you, she could tell you made Jude happy. “You bring out the best in him.”

Loves doing girls' days with you—shopping, brunch, spa days. Sometimes it’s just the two of you because Jude “complains too much when we take too long.”

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ It was a Saturday morning when Denise called, as usual. She’d been hinting for days about a girls' day, and you had a feeling she was more than ready for it. Jude was off with his teammates, so it was just the two of you, and the thought of a relaxing day away from the boys had you looking forward to it.

“Brunch first, then spa?” she asked, voice full of energy. “I know a place with the best mimosas.”

You grinned. “Sounds perfect.”

It was one of those rare days when you could let go of everything—no interviews, no cameras, just you, Denise, and a bit of fun. You met up at a cozy café, enjoying the morning sunlight pouring through the windows as you chatted over eggs benedict and fresh fruit.

Denise, as always, was full of stories. She told you about Jude’s childhood mischief, how he used to steal cookies when he was little, and how she could never stay mad at him for long. “He’s always been a good boy, even when he’s up to no good,” she laughed, sipping her coffee.

You laughed along, feeling the warmth of her words. “You really raised him right.”

Denise’s smile softened, a proud glint in her eyes. “He’s always been special, but you… you bring out the best in him.”

You blinked, touched by her words. “D…”

She waved her hand dismissively, her tone light but sincere. “It’s true. From the moment I met you, I could see how happy he was. You’re one of the best things that ever happened to him, and I’m so glad he found you.”

You felt a flutter in your chest, her words making you smile. “I’m just happy to be in his life. And yours, too.”

After brunch, you two hit up the shopping mall, roaming from store to store, trying on clothes, laughing at each other’s outfit choices. Jude’s complaints about you both taking too long were often brought up, especially when you made Denise laugh until she nearly spilled her iced coffee.

“Jude always says we take forever,” you said, pulling out a pair of shoes you thought would be perfect for a date night. “Honestly, he’s just grumpy because he doesn’t have the patience for this.”

Denise grinned. “That’s because he doesn’t get it. You and I—” she gestured between the two of you, “—we know how to shop properly.”

By the time you both made it to the spa, you were relaxed and feeling like you’d just experienced a little slice of heaven. Denise was the best kind of company: no stress, no pressure, just fun.

As you sank into the massage chair, Denise gave you a wink. “Next time, I say we turn off our phones, Jude complains too much.”

You burst out laughing. “I’m down for that.” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

The first time you met Mark, he was lowkey intimidating, but within five minutes, he was cracking jokes and making you feel at home.

He’s a big storyteller, especially about Jude and Jobe as kids. If you’re ever at the Bellingham house, expect to hear childhood embarrassments on repeat.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ It was your second time at the Bellingham house, and you were still getting used to the chaotic energy that always filled the place. You had already spent time with Jude and Jobe, but this time, Mark was home, and you were more than a little curious to see what the dad of the Bellingham family was like in person.

When you first met him, you were a little intimidated—he had that aura of authority, the kind of man whose gaze could make anyone stand a little straighter. But the moment he greeted you with a warm handshake and a half-grin, any nervousness melted away. His voice was deep and full of humor as he immediately began cracking jokes about Jude and Jobe, easing you into the conversation without even trying.

“So, when these two were younger…” Mark started, leaning back in his chair as he sipped his coffee. “I had to spend hours in the backyard trying to teach Jude how to ride a bike. But the kid? He refused to listen to me.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Mark chuckled, shaking his head. “He was convinced that if he just went fast enough, he’d be able to float. Like a superhero or something. So, one day, I look up, and there he is, barreling down the driveway, pedaling like mad. Guess what? The kid didn’t float, but he sure ended up in the bushes.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, picturing a young Jude with all his determination, even if it meant a few bumps and bruises.

“Jobe, on the other hand…” Mark’s grin widened. “He was always the sneaky one. We had to hide all the cookies because he had a serious sweet tooth. One night, we caught him trying to sneak an entire box of biscuits under his bed. He didn’t think we’d notice, but the crumbs? The crumbs told a different story.”

You leaned back in your chair, grinning at the mental image of the younger Bellingham brothers getting into all kinds of mischief.

Mark’s storytelling was infectious. His laughter filled the room as he kept dishing out embarrassing memories, not just about Jude but also about himself. You could see where Jude got his charm and sense of humor from—Mark clearly loved to laugh, and he didn’t mind making fun of himself to keep the mood light.

As the stories continued, you felt completely at ease, as if you’d been a part of their family for years. It was hard to imagine that you’d ever been intimidated by Mark, because now, he felt like the kind of guy who could make anyone feel welcome.

“Anyway,” Mark said, finishing his story and giving you a mischievous grin. “You’ll be hearing a lot more of these embarrassing stories if you keep hanging around.”

You smiled, feeling completely at home. “I’m starting to think I might have to start collecting my own stories to tell about Jude.”

“Please,” Mark laughed. “I’m sure he’s got a few things to hide. But just remember, I have decades of ammunition on him.” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

If you and Jude ever argue, Jobe is nosy as hell. He’ll pop up like, “Damn, what he do now?”

Lowkey wingman—if Jude is being dumb, Jobe will tell him. “Bro, just buy her flowers or something. You’re moving mad.”

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ You and Jude were in the middle of one of those perfectly normal, but totally unnecessary arguments. It had started over something silly, like whether or not he remembered to grab your favorite snacks during his grocery run. You were both talking over each other, trying to get your points across, but neither of you was really listening anymore.

"Jude, it’s not about the snacks!" you huffed, crossing your arms.

"It’s the principle!" he shot back, his voice rising slightly.

You rolled your eyes. "The principle? Really?"

The room was tense, both of you clearly frustrated, but neither willing to be the first to back down.

Just as things were starting to get heated, the door creaked open, and in walked Jobe, casually leaning against the doorframe with a curious look on his face.

"Damn," he said, eyes widening in exaggerated shock. "What’d he do now?"

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh, the tension breaking just a bit. Jude groaned, throwing his head back and muttering under his breath. "Not now, Jobe."

Jobe raised an eyebrow and took a few steps further into the room, giving you both a once-over before nodding to himself. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know that you two always look mad cute together. So what’s this about?”

You exchanged a look with Jude, both of you still a little riled up, but now there was an undeniable sense of awkwardness thanks to Jobe's nosy intervention.

“You really gonna let her get away with that?” Jobe said, pointing at Jude with a sly grin. “Bruh, just buy her flowers or something. You’re moving mad.”

Jude blinked. "Flowers? Really?"

Jobe gave him a knowing look. "Trust me, man. They fix everything. Women like flowers. You know, the nice kind, not those half-dead daisies you tried to give her last month."

You couldn’t help but laugh at Jobe’s honesty. Jude sighed dramatically, looking like he wanted to protest but knew deep down that Jobe had a point. "Fine," Jude muttered, rubbing his face. "Flowers. Can you leave now, Jobe?"

Jobe grinned, clearly having accomplished his mission. “I’ll leave you two to work this out, but don’t say I didn’t try to help.” He gave you a wink and casually strolled out of the room, leaving you and Jude in the quiet aftermath.

Jude turned to you with a sheepish smile, running a hand through his hair. "You know, he’s not wrong. I should’ve just gotten the flowers."

"Yeah, you should have," you said, crossing your arms and softening, your earlier frustration melting away. “But I’m glad Jobe stepped in. I think he saved you.”

Jude let out a small laugh, shaking his head. "I swear, he’s like my personal therapist sometimes."

"Maybe you should start listening to him more often," you teased, giving him a playful nudge.

"Don’t worry," Jude said, pulling you in for a hug. "Next time, flowers. I promise." ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

Football debates at the dinner table—Mark and Jude get so into it, and you just sit back, sipping your drink, waiting for it to end.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ Dinner at the Bellingham house always started off normal enough—Mark telling stories, Jobe sneaking bites before everyone sat down, and Jude’s hand resting on your thigh under the table like clockwork.

But somehow… somehow it always ended the same way.

“Listen, I’m just saying,” Mark began, fork pointing dramatically in Jude’s direction, “midfielders today don’t dictate the game the way they used to. Y’all are all about flair now. Where’s the control?”

Jude leaned back in his chair, mouth full of rice, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Control? Dad, you watched my last match, right? I was the control.”

“Oh, please,” Mark scoffed. “You had, what, 89% pass accuracy? You’re good, Jude, but you ain’t Zidane.”

That was the spark. And just like that, the match was underway.

You slowly leaned back in your chair, picking up your glass of wine—tonight, it was rosé, your favorite—and took a long sip. Jobe looked over at you, already smirking. “Round three,” he whispered.

You nodded. “Let them cook.”

“Dad, you always bring up Zidane. Times have changed! No one plays like it’s 2004 anymore.”

“And that’s the problem,” Mark shot back. “You all play like you’re trying to be TikTok highlights. Where’s the patience? The build-up play?”

You glanced at Jobe again, both of you silently enjoying the show. This was better than reality TV. Jude’s plate was half-forgotten, Mark was gesturing with a spoon like it was a mic, and honestly, if someone said "4-4-2" one more time, you were going to throw a dinner roll.

Eventually, when Jude started pulling up stats on his phone like it was a courtroom trial, you calmly reached for the last piece of garlic bread and leaned over to Jobe.

“Think they’ll still be arguing when we’re doing the dishes?”

Jobe snorted. “They’ll still be arguing when we’re in bed.”

You raised your glass. “To generational football beef.”

“Cheers to that.” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

The type to carry your bag for you but tease you about how much stuff you packed. “Babe, are you moving there permanently or what?”

Matching airport fits because he swears y’all gotta travel in style. You take a mirror selfie before every flight.

Wants to do everything—from luxury experiences to acting like tourists with a paper map, he’s down for it all.

Takes the most ridiculous tourist pictures—poses dramatically in front of monuments, acts like a travel vlogger, and films you for memories.

If you go out for drinks by the beach, he’ll pull you onto his lap, arm around your waist, being extra touchy because vacation Jude has no self-control.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The sun was dipping low over the ocean, casting everything in that hazy gold glow that made your skin look extra dreamy and Jude absolutely feral. A salty breeze kissed your shoulders as the two of you sat out on the deck of a little beach bar—barefoot, slightly tipsy, with music playing low in the background and a half-melted daiquiri in your hand.

Jude was already watching you like you were the sunset, his fingers lazily tracing your thigh under the table.

You raised a brow. “You good, Bellingham?”

Without answering, he reached out, effortlessly pulling you onto his lap like it was second nature. His arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand flattening on your bare thigh.

“Mmm, better now,” he murmured, nose brushing your jaw as he pressed a soft kiss to the curve of your neck.

You laughed, sipping your drink with one hand, the other resting on the back of his head. “You’re so clingy on vacation.”

“Can’t help it,” he said, grinning against your skin. “You wear sundresses and lip gloss and expect me to behave?”

“You never behave.”

He shrugged, pressing another kiss to your shoulder this time, slower, more deliberate. “Not when you’re this close. Not when it’s just us. Not when you’re mine.”

You felt him smile against your skin as he added, “Also, I’m a few sips away from carrying you back to our room and forgetting this bar exists.”

You rolled your eyes, pretending to be unimpressed—but you stayed right there in his lap, happily tangled in him, letting vacation Jude be as extra and touchy as he wanted.

Because honestly? You liked him just like this. ⭐︎

extra...

⭐︎ You’d just gone to the bar to grab another drink for Jude—mostly because he gave you that look and said, “Baaaabe, I can’t feel my legs,” which was code for I don’t want to move, please and thank you.

So you went. Alone. For two minutes.

And that’s apparently all it took.

“Didn’t expect to see someone like you out here,” said a guy in a too-tight shirt and mirrored sunglasses, leaning a little too close as you waited on the bartender. “You local?”

You offered the most polite fake smile known to humankind. “Nope. Just here with my boyfriend.”

“That so?” he smirked, like that was an invitation instead of a boundary. “Bet he doesn’t appreciate you the way—”

“Yeah, she’s definitely here with her boyfriend,” came Jude’s voice—calm, cool, but edged with that warning tone you’d learned to recognize instantly.

You turned, relief flooding through you at the sight of him—shirt slightly open, curls messy from the wind, and sunglasses pushed up onto his head. Beach Jude was already fine, but possessive beach Jude? Whole other level.

He slipped his arm around your waist without missing a beat and tugged you back into his chest like he was reclaiming what was his. “You alright, love?” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple, then shooting the guy a tight smile. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

The other guy mumbled something and slunk off. You didn’t even clock where—too busy looking up at Jude’s smug, satisfied smirk.

“You’re so dramatic,” you whispered, unable to hide your grin.

He shrugged, rubbing slow circles into your hip with his thumb. “You like it.”

You leaned in close, brushing your lips just beside his. “I really do.”

And when the bartender handed you the drinks, Jude took yours, nodded in thanks, then leaned down and whispered in your ear, “Let’s go back. I’ve got… ideas.”

Vacation Jude had no self-control.

And you were absolutely fine with that. ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

Snowball fights—he doesn’t hold back. But if he accidentally hits you too hard? Immediate guilt mode. “Babe, I’m sorry, come here—wait, don’t hit me back!”

Cuddles in front of the fireplace—warm blankets, his arms wrapped around you, pressing lazy kisses to your forehead.

Hot cocoa dates where he lets you steal sips of his, even though you definitely have your own.

Probably the type to Immediately jumps on the bed when you enter the hotel room.

──────────────────────────────────────────

⭐︎ The moment the hotel room door clicked shut behind you, you barely had time to toe off your sandals before—

Thud.

Jude was already starfished in the middle of the bed, arms and legs spread out like he’d claimed a whole kingdom.

“Bags down, shoes off, I am one with the mattress,” he mumbled dramatically into the plush hotel duvet. “Don’t even think about moving me.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You had one job. One. Put the key card in the light slot. Where’s the light—Jude!”

He peeked up, grinning like the menace he was. “I got distracted by how soft this bed is.”

“Mmhm. And the fact that you sprinted like a child?”

“Listen,” he said, rolling over and propping his head up with one arm. “It’s not a vacation till I belly flop onto a hotel bed. It’s tradition.”

You just shook your head, flicked the light on, and padded over to the edge of the bed.

“I’m not moving,” he warned. “This is now my spot.”

“You’re literally in the middle.”

“My spot.”

“You’re impossible,” you said, climbing onto the bed anyway, knees pressing into the comforter as you tried to navigate around his limbs.

He instantly grabbed you, pulling you down into his chest with zero effort.

“See?” he said smugly, voice muffled against your neck. “Comfy, right?”

You groaned into his curls. “You’re annoying.”

“You love me though.”

You rolled your eyes, but your hand was already in his hair. “Unfortunately.”

He chuckled, all warm and smug, and nuzzled into you. “We should order room service.”

“It’s 2 a.m.”

“I know,” he yawned. “You want fries or waffles?”

You smiled into his shoulder, sleep already tugging at your eyes. “Both.” ⭐︎

───────────────────────────────

Takes mirror selfies with you in the big bathroom, flexing like an influencer.

When it’s time to leave, Jude always gets a little sad, holding you close before the flight back. “Can we just stay here forever?” and then you remind him that he has training

Posts an Instagram dump of your trip, and his caption is always something cute like “My favorite person.”

[valiwrites]

reincarnation ✧.* formula 1

part1 part2 part4

: ̗̀➛ pairing: formula 1 x senna!reincarnation!male!oc (nico santos) : ̗̀➛ warnings: strong language, hate comments : ̗̀➛ author’s note: i wrote this before and got a lot of hate for it. if it’s not your thing, just scroll past—no need to spread negativity. i didn’t write this just to read mean comments.

: ̗̀➛ smau

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f1fannews ✔︎

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f1fannews new videos of our favorite driver just dropped!! seriously, this guy is something else. the energy he brings and the pure heart he’s got—it's rare to see someone so genuine and down to earth. feel lucky to be able to watch him grow and do his thing. can't wait to see what’s next for him, he’s just getting started. truly blessed to be a fan of someone like him.

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user1 this is co cute he's wearing the senna shirt!!

user2 he's literally impersonating him tf

user3 how is he impersonating him what?? y'all are bothered by anything

user2 it's the fact that he hates being compared to senna yet he always makes a way to wear his merch 🙄

user4 the second slide is so adorable tho look at his smile 🥺

user5 he's just so happy to be there

user6 is there any way to buy that shirt he's wearing??

f1fannews yes!! just go on google and search senna shop and you'll find it there

user7 is this gonna be in the new drive to survive season?

f1fannews hopefully we see more of nico next season!

user8 he looks like christian coulson on the second video

user9 wait i kinds see it

user10 it's the angle 😭😭

nicosantos ✔︎

liked by mclaren, lando, valeyellow46, f1, maxverstappen1, mickschumacher and 2.1m others

nicosantos this team makes me wanna commit a felony...i’m out here giving it my all, but the car’s acting like it’s on vacation. like, bro, are we racing or taking a nap? i swear, i’m ready to have a serious chat with it. still, out here doing laps like a champ, pretending i’m not crying inside. send help... and maybe some new tires.

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lando 😭😭

nicosantos fuck you too

user1 lando NORIZZ help

user2 my boy finally lost it 😭

user3 the caption is sending me

user4 lando nowins

user5 is he starting his beef with mclaren or lando hello

user6 probably both lmao watch ww3 happen

sebastianvettel what got you so mad sweetie

nicosantos you're next vettel

user7 SWEETIE LMAOO IM DYING

user8 OOP, nico's officially in his "i'm done" phase

user9 someone get this man a snack, he’s mad hungry for drama

user10 nico really out here acting like he’s the main character, huh?

user11 yo be bothered by anyone else

user12 nico santos, the personification of “don’t come for me unless I send for you”… but we didn’t send for you.

nicosantos what does that even mean 😭

enews ✔︎

liked by 123k users

enews there are rumors floating around that our mclaren rising star, nico santos, is having some heated convos with mclaren principal andrea stella about possibly leaving the team. but are they true? is our fave driver sticking with mclaren or moving on to another team? which one though? stay tuned, things are getting spicy

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user1 fr hoping nico stays with mclaren, he’s got mad potential, don’t mess this up!

user2 if he’s all talk and no results, maybe it’s time to go. mclaren doesn’t need the headache

user3 he's literally one of the best drivers out there

user2 i don't see a championship yet

user3 noo nicooo

user4 you'll survive

user5 he’s been putting in the work, mclaren’s the place for him to keep growing

user6 if he can't work with the team then he's not good for it (not hating just pointing out the facts)

user7 as much as i hate to agree with you i do. bc nico is so good at what he does and if he doesn't like it at mclaren he should leave

[jd-loves-fiction]

Coming back to you with another request cuz I loved your previous work

Boothill, Welt, Ratio, Jing Yuan and Gallagher with the same platonic teen reader premise but reader calls them ,,Dad" on accident and they themselves don't even notice it because it comes so naturally to them

🌑so glad you liked it🥺🥺also the dad's of all time yes yes!! Also my internet has been fucked lately that's why uploads are slow sowy 🥺

✦ 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥 ✦

If you look at his lore, he was actually a dad (😭 my Shayla) so yeah big chance he won't notice at all

Because of the trauma associated with his family in general, he'll notice it eventually and be a bit conflicted

On one hand, he's absolutely delighted at the fact that despite being almost entirely made of metal, you are still able to find such fundamentally human comfort within him

And on the other hand, he has a hard time accepting that the man he was before didn't actually die along with most of his body

He won't ever correct you tho, at the end of the day he's just grateful that he's still able to make young folk feel safe around him

Reminds him that he's still human🥺

✦ 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐭 ✦

Did you see the way he basically adopted Sunday the moment he stepped on the express?? Yeah, that's dad right there

He basically adopts every kid (as in, anyone younger than him) that steps aboard the express, so i feel like someone else might've already called him before and he just brushed it off

Same with you, though in his heart he's over the moon

All he wants in life is to make everyone around him feel safe and loved, so to know that you of all people seem to think of him in such a way really warms his heart

Though he'll never point it out in fear of making you embarrassed

He's overjoyed!! But internally :)

✦ 𝐃𝐫. 𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨 ✦

Truly baffled, at first

He's aware of his reputation and he doesn't mind it but he never expected someone to him that way

Though he's (not so) secretly very pleased

At his core, he's a teacher and that's what he loves to do - spread knowledge to all who seek it

And I'm sorry for reminding you of this but most of us have called our teacher mom/dad before so...

There's a slight chance it's happened before... also a slight chance he very dryly corrected them - "last time i checked i have no children" 🙄

Might do the same to you unless he's in one of his moods, writing down information or just lost in thought - then he'll probably just wave you away wordlessly

I feel like he understands on a behavioral level why you did it and because of it, wont comment on it or bring it up again. It's just something people do sometimes, nothing weird about it

The most neutral out of all of them but will make a mental note about how it probably means you trust him at least a little

When he lets himself be selfish and overthink it, it does warm his heart but you'll never know

✦ 𝐉𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐚𝐧 ✦

Actual father to Yanqing YOU CANT CHANGE MY MIND!!

Ooooh he's tearing his hair out trying not to tease you about it

He knows that if he does you'll crawl back in your shell again and thats tHEEE last thing he wants in life, really

It's easy to feel comfortable around him, i feel. He's just a big lazy cat - pretty independent and chill

He's good at just being there when you need him there as well as talking your ear off as a distraction - peak comfort

Definately called Jingliu 'mom' as a kid, come on

And Yanqing did the same with him

So it doesnt surprise him much since he understands its a pretty normal thing but GOOOOD he wants to acknowledge it so BAAADD

HE WANTS TO MAKE IT SILLY BUT NOOOOO 😭

He's an adult now (a very old one at that) so he understands that now is NOT the time

Will keep thinking back on it fondly tho :))

✦ 𝐆𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐫 ✦

Oh oh my... he gives so much deadbeat dad I'm getting nostalgic IM KIDDING

Anyway, as a bartender, i feel like thats happened to him before

People say weird shit when they're drunk so it's very likely someone's called him dad before

Though that feels very different to him

When people do that when drunk it doesn't usually mean anything - he must just remind them of their father (for good or bad) so he doesn't take it too seriously

But you? Oh he's taking it seriously

Ego? Inflated to hell and back

He's being extra sweet and caring with you

Making sure you eat and rest, etc

Gotta live up to his reputation 😉

The dad who stepped up fr

Might tease you about it, but if you have an adverse reaction he'll stop immediately

Very touched that you think of him that way even subconsciously and will try to make sure he doesn't disappoint :)

[gavisfanta]

International student x Fermín

Reader and Fermín have been friends with benefits since she has to head home after the semester’s over but Fermín grows to have feelings for her and he confesses in the middle of sex. Something super teeth rotting, loads of fluff. Maybe Fer is a huge simp for the reader? If you’re comfy with this 😭

POLAND - FERMIN

summary: fermin will have to confess his feelings to you before you fo back to your home country or else its too late

a/n: not proofread, because again, I am lazy... sorry :D

warnings: smut, a lot.

It was simple at first.

"Sex only?" You asked while Fermin nodded his head.

"We're both too busy to maintain a relationship, so why not just agree to be sex buddies, besides that, you need to leave in 3 months. I mean we both enjoy the sex don't we?" Your eyes lit up at the suggestion. Your friendship was falling apart since weeks now. So you agreed.

You originally met him at the university in a class where you had to work on a project together. The connection between you two was felt immediately. He also was shocked that your Spanish was that good since you're from Poland, you only moved to Barcelona to study for a few years before moving there.

"And you're...?" Fermin pulled the chair next to you so he could sit down. You threw your hair behind your back after you looked at the fit blonde man next to you.

"Y/n" You couldn't help but smile at him.

"Beautiful name." He didn't try to hide that he was flirting, the smile and the way he turned to face you in his chair was so obvious. "I'm Fermin."

"Nice to meet you Fermin." You looked up at him, he was slightly taller than you while sitting.

"It's a pleasure for me. It's also a pleasure to be working with you, I'm sure we're gonna have a great time together." Fermin told you without paying attention to his surroundings.

"Mr López, enough of the flirting you have time for that in your free time." Your professor scolded him and you quickly turned your head the other way to laugh.

Fermin shook his head while looking down into his lap, trying to hide that smile that spread across his lips when you looked at him again.

-

Suddenly Fermin sat down next to you on the bench in front of the school. "What are your plans for next year?" Fermin avoided eye contact while you looked at him with a shocked expression.

"Um, hi?" You smiled at him while he finally looked at you. "I'm gonna move back home, I'm not from here."

"Wait, you're not spanish?" He turned his upper body towards you as his brows knit together. He raised his brows as you shook your head. "Your Spanish is incredibly good. Its fascinating almost, taking that you're not even Spanish." He stopped for a second while he looked away. "Where are you from?"

"Im from poland" You answered and he couldn't help but smile at your words.

"So you can talk to Lewandowski?" He laughed a bit while you just grinned at his words.

"If I ever meet Lewandowski I'll talk to him in polish, yeah." You laughed.

Fermin the smiled. "When I play in the first team with him, I'll make sure that you're gonna talk to him in polish."

-

"Are you free tonight or do you have to study?" Fermins face was visible on your phone as you held it infront of you. You were just taking a walk on the beach when the midfielder facetimed you. Fermin had to leave for practice in 10 minutes so he wanted to talk to you about his idea. Even tho his friends knew about the two of you hooking up, he hated to talk about that topic in front of them.

"I have to study, but I can maje some time, when do you get off practice?" You inhaled the fresh air coming from the ocean while your shoes kept sinking into the sand.

"Can I come over after practice? That gives you another six hours to study." Fermins lips grew inro a smile afyer he heard that one sigh that meant 'fine, you have convinced me'. And he was right. "Fine, but shower at the facilities, I dont want you using my shampoo ever again." You gwve him a strict look. The midfielder bit his lip whole he nodded.

"I will, see you later." Fermin looked at you and the blue sky behind you. "Bye" You gwve him a small smile and then hung up the phone. After his face disappeared from the display, your airpods started playing runaway by Kanye West again, the midfielder calling you had paused the music on your phone. You inhaled sharply and then went on with your day.

-

"Hey babe!" Fermins voice echoed through the hallway right after the door slammed shut.

"I told you to stop calling me that." You sung without even taking your eyes off of the papers infront of you.

"Hey Sexbuddy, does that sound better?" Fermin was standing behind you, his presence made you feel hot immediately.

"No, that just makes me sound like an object." Eyes scanning across your notes whike you talked to the midfielder.

"Babe it is then." Fermin leaned down to your neck, his hit breath against your skin gave you shivers. You sighed and then turned in your chair so that you could face him. You looked at him for a couple of seconds before turning around again and going back to your studies. He then put both of his hands on your shoulders and you exhaled deeply.

"I don't see you for 5 days and your shoulders are this bad? You really need to relax a bit more." Fermin told you and started to massage your shoulders. You threw your head back as his string hands started to enlighten the tension from your muscles.

"I know babe, my hands work wonders." Fermin whispered into your ear and you couldnt help but smile. Then you stood up and stood proud infront of him, hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and shoulders pushed back. His hands slid from your shoulders to your waist, his big hands burning your skin with his hot touch. You were wearing a grey crop top with some black joggers.

You both knew why he was there, neither of you ever met up before to just talk with eachother. Maybe after sex he stayed sometimes but never just a normal meetup between the two of you.

"Let's go upstairs yeah?" You took Fermins right hand off of your body and interlocked your fingers with his. His lips curled up into a smile while he followed you up the staircase, his hand never leaving yours.

As soon as the two of you entered the bedroom, you closed the door and shut it behind yourself while Fermin shoved you against the door and crushed his lips into yours forcefully. Hot breaths were exchanged during the kiss and while Fermins hand slipped below the waistband of your joggers.

He then slipped them off then leaned down to grab your exposed tighs and lifted you up.

Your legs wrapped around his waist almost naturally and your lips never leaving his while your hands wrapped around his neck.

Eventually he walked you over to your bed and leaned over you, his hands sliding underneath the crop top and pulling it over your head. That left you only in your underwear.

"Take off your clothes Fer." You started pulling at the hem of his shirt until he chuckled and took off his clothes.

"Needy much princesa?" Fermin who was only in his boxers leaned over you again. The temple in his boxers was so obviously visible as you looked down at his abs.

"You could say that-" You then put your hands behind yourself and unclipped your bra, pulling it off your arms. His gaze shifted from your eye to your tits, a smirk made its way to his lips.

"But what if you find out instead?" You pulled off your panties too.

Fermin has never pulled down his boxers that fast as he did that time. His dick jumping out of the white fabric material, tip red and pre cum glistening over it. He pumped his hand uo and down a couple of times while he put your left leg over his shoulder. Your pussy was on display for jim.

"You're so wet." He mumbled as he licked his fingers and spread it along your folds. You were too much of a mess fo answer him, so thats why you nearly screamed when you felt his tip enter you, and slowly he was fully inside of you. You threw your head back and arched your back off the bed towards him. No matter how many times you slept with him, you couldn't get enough of him once he was inside of you.

"Are you okay?" Fermin groaned and you nodded, your heavy breathing made him worry a bit.

You nodded, and as he began thrusting in and out of you, you closed your eyes. The room was filled with noises of skin slapping, his low groans and your moans.

"You're amazing" Fermin hid his head in the crook of your neck. His hot breaths burning against your sweaty skin.

You shut your eyes as he hit a spot that made you drop your jaw. Fermin noticed that he hit the right spot and kept hitting it, soon the warm feeling in your stomach started to build up. The aching feeling in your legs got worse as he grabbed both of them and put them over his shoulders, allowing him to reach even deeper inside of you.

Just after a few seconds his rhythm became uneven and you knew he was about to come. And just a few seconds later Fermin came and you felt his load filling you up.

He was panting heavily as he then made you finish too just a couple of minutes later.

"Are you okay?" He asked you after the sex.

"Yeah" You answered shortly, a small smile decorating your lips as you were still in shock of how good it was, once again.

"Good." Fermin said and then kissed your cheek.

-

"Hermano where were you yesterday?" Gavi walked up to Fermin in the dressing room the next day. The blonde midfielder jumped a little, he feared seeing Gavi that day.

Gavi had called him the previous day and texted him a lot of times. Fermin however didn't pick up because he was busy seeing you.

That wasn't the first time it had happened that Fermin didn't pick up or answer his phone because he was seeing you. That was exactly why Gavi knew what his friend was up to.

"At home." Fermin told Gavi in a nervous tone, he tried to hide it as much as he could from the younger midfielder but it was impossible.

"You were with Y/n weren't you?" Gavi sighed and looked away for a second before looking back at Fermin. "Listen you need to tell her that you have feelings for her."

Gavi's words made Fermins hair stand up straight, it almost gave him shivers. He was well known to the fact that he may or may have not caught real romantic feelings for you, but nobody had ever told him to confront you about them.

"I can't, you know that. What we have is just sex, we agreed on that." Fermin answered shortly and then turned back to the shirt he wanted to pull over his head.

"Your time is running out, how long until she leaves?" Gavi stood in that one spot while his friend kept changing his clothes.

"2 months." Fermin answered and avoided eye contact.

"You need to tell her as soon as possible." Gavi gave him a serious look before he turned around and made his way to his locker.

"mhm"

-

"Are you busy?" Fermin asked while you just walked into the locker room at the gym you were going to. A deep sigh escaped your lips as your chest was still rising up and down at a bit of a faster pace.

"I'm at the gym rn, I just got done." Taking the dark blue towel you always had with you and drying off the sweat off your forehead, Fermin smiled on the other end of the phone.

"I'll pick you up and we'll go back to your place, is that good?" Fermin asked.

"Yeah, just hurry, and I'll need to take a shower when we're there." You explained while already grabbing your hoodie so that youre not walking around with a sports bra only.

"Perfect me too, see you soon." Fermin hung up the phone with a wide smile. You on the other hand wasn't so smiley. So when Fermins car stopped at the side of the road and you were able to get in, he notoced immediately that you were in a bad mood.

He leaned over the center console and pressed a kiss on your lips, your eyes immediately widened and you pulled away from him.

"What are you doing?" You raised your voice a little as you looked at him shocked. Fermins smile had faded and he just loomed at you, confused while hie mouth was slightl open.

"I kissed you" Fermin tried to justify himself and he began to drive while you grabbed the seatbelt.

"Why here, do you want anyone to see? Do you want the media to know that we're fuck buddies?" You asked, Fermin just stayed quiet while he focused on ths road and listened to you. He knew that you were right but it still hurt him a bit.

So he mumbled a quiet "Sorry" and you scoffed while pulling out your phone.

Fermin on the other hand was biting down on his tongue while he really tried to keep his mouth shut. He just got the confirmation that you would never want to be his girlfriend, you dont wanna be seen with him.

So he stayed quiet, until he parked down the car in front of your apartment. "So you're still down to fuck?" Fermin asked, speaking way too fast but confident while he looked at you, brows knit together.

As soon as you heard his tone you turned your head confused. "Are you seriously mad now?" Your brows were raised and the midfielder scoffed while shaking his head and turning off the car.

"Let's go inside, since you don't wanna be seen with me anyways." Fermin mumbled as he opened the door, it was difficult for you to understand the last part because he had already stepped out of the car.

"Fer, come on" you walked a bit faster so you could catch up with him, he walked to your apartment and unlocked the door with his key. Then he turned around as soon as you closed the door.

"So you still wanna get laid? I see." Fermin nodded without even trying to hear you out. You tried to speak up multiple times but he always just answered with "no" and cut you off, until you had enough.

"Could you just shut the fuck up for a second and hear me out?" Your voice loud, it made Fermin shut his mouth immediately, he now looked at you with raised brows and big eyes. "i never said I dont wanna be seen with you, I said I dont want people to find out that we're hooking up. That's only for you, because you know how everyone is, they'll say stuff like youre distracted by me and all of that. I don't like you kissing me in public for your careers sake." You spoke way too fast which left you with a lack of air after everything you said.

Fermins mouth was hanging slightly open and he was speechless, he felt like an idiot. Not hearing you out when what you did was completely right, you were right. Now the regret washed over him and he buried his face in his hands.

He lifted his head again as he mumbled a quiet "Sorry" while looking into your eyes with all honesty. "I'm so sorry, you're right." Fermin told you again, this time you didn't just stand there, taking a step closer to him, you wrapped your arms around him and rested your head against his body.

He also put his arms around you and immediately he felt safe, he felt like everything in the world was okay again. That was when his eyes widened, however you didn't notice that. The truth was, Fermin was scared of his feelings, of his romantical feelings towards you.

He didn't want to fall in love with his sex buddy, what was even worse that you were leaving soon.

You pulled him back from his thought as you looked up at him due to him being slightly taller. "I still wanna get laid tho." A smile displayed on your lips while Fermin was looking back at you with an even bigger one.

Before he however did anything, he leaned closer to you and carefully put his lips onto yours. His hands pulling your hips closer and for the first time, the kiss you two shared wasn't rushed, wasn't contained only of moans and heavy breaths, nothing sexual, just you two sharing a kiss.

Then you pulled away and then slowly started backing up into your bedroom, laying down on the bed, you took off your shirt. You smiled as he walked even closer to you.

"Hey it's 'The Best Sex You've Ever Had' what can I get you?" Fermin moved up his hand to his ear and pretended to talk into a microphone.

"I think I'd enjoy missionary," You smiled cheekily and Fermin nodded his head. He pulled his shirt off and after you both were naked, he got on top of you, admiring your body while he teased your entrance with his tip.

You threw your head back as he pushed inside you and you felt his dick twitch against your walls.

Then he slowly began to pull out and push in again. He repeated that for a whole while and eventually also added to your overstimulation by rubbing your clit. You both came at the same time and Fermin collapsed on top of you. Howver you convinced him that it's totally fine to do another round. So he oushed inside of yiu again, it didn't take long for him to feel on edge. "I'm about to come." He groaned while closing his eyes shut.

"Come inside me Fermin." You told him to which he just responded with a low and silent groan.

"Fuck, I love you" Fermin whispered without thinking and suddenly you immediately stopped moaning and looked at him still pumping his dick in and out of you.

"What?" You asked and took Fermins jaw to make him look up at you. He stopped his movements and looked up at you.

"What did you say?" Your voice sounding unsure, in that second Fermin realised what he said and his eyes widened.

"Nothing" He tried to ignore you and went back to thrusting inside of you, harder and faster this time but you stopped him again.

"Fermin stop, talk to me." You told him and he immediately stopped again. "What did you say?"

"Nothing"

"Shit Fermin I know you said I love you." You told him while you sat up and pulled a blanket over your legs.

Fermin opened his mouth but no words came out. He had to think everything he wanted to say through. "I don't know why, it's just- its just everytime I look at you I get this funny feeling." He explained, while the only thing you did was cover your mouth with your hand and look to the side.

"Fer we agreed to sex onl-" You began but he cut you off.

"Obviously we did, do you think I chose to fall inlove with you when you're literally leaving for Poland soon?" Fermin raised his voice a bit which made you look back at him.

"I don't know what to say honestly." You shrugged your shoulders and then looked away again.

"Listen I-" This time you cut off Fermin.

"I think you should go home." You told him and Fermins mouth opened slightly. He looked away for a second before making eye contact with you again.

"But-" He began but then stopped mid sentence. "Okay, I'll see you later." He gave you a faint smile while he grabbed his things and went towards the door. You flashed him an awkward smile and then watched him leave the bedroom.

THE NEXT DAY

"You have to tell him that you like him too." Luca whispered to you and you raised your head immediately to cover up his mouth with your hand.

"Are you mentally alright? Don't say that when he's right across the room?!" You whispered back aggressively and he laughed a little bit.

"Why won't you tell him though, you got the conformation that he loves you back." Luca still tried to convince you ans eventually you released an annoyed sigh.

"I'm afraid to start something with him that I cannot finish if I have to go back to Poland soon" You said and Luca furrowed his brows while he thought of a solution.

"Just stay here then" He shrugged his shoulders as he suggested. Your eyes widened and you gave him a look.

"You think its that easy? I dont have the money to live here, let alone afford something anywhere in the world." You admitted to which Luca reacted with a smile.

"Ask him to stay at his place until you can afford your own." Your classmate turned his head to face you and you looked back at him.

"You're not completely sane, I'm telling you." You mumbled while shaking your head, he laughed a little bit at your words.

You sighed deeply and then looked at Fermin across the classroom who was writing something on his paper. "I will talk to him."

"Hey Fer," Fermin turned around as soon as he heard you call his name. "can we talk?" You asked.

"Yeah, what's up" Fermin seemed closed off to you, he was even a bit awkward when talking to you.

"Can we go back to your place maybe? Just somewhere private." You suggested and he quickly nodded, then he turned around and you both got into his car. This is not the first time people from uni see you getting into Fermins car.

The drive to his place was quiet, awkward and uncomfortable. Not only for you but for him too. So when you arrived at his place, immediately you went inside and sat down on his couch. You weren't at his place that often because he preferred to stay at yours rather than at his.

So when he sat down next to you, you let out a heavy sight but he cut you off before you were able to even begin talking.

"I'm sorry, I know falling in love with you was a mistake when we agreed to only have sex, but you're so-" Fermin rushed his words until you said something.

"I love you too." Fermin however ignored you and kept talking.

" but you're so loveable and you always make me smile and- wait... what?" Fermin realized what you just told him, you wore a cheeky smile on your lips as his jaw dropped.

"You love me too?" He questioned to which you responded with a nod. "You love me too!" He jumped up in joy and opened up his arms. You smiled while standing up and hugging him back. He kept swinging with you in his arms from side to side and you couldn't help but smile.

"That means I can't let you go back to Poland." Fermin pulled back by an inch to look at you.

"If you'll ask me to, I'll never visit Poland again."

[narryffdreaming]

lia and harry's story (four - ii)

summary: harry is a bartender and lia lives right across the street. rating: +18 || warnings: mental health (anxiety) and smut word count: 6,3k

(ONE) | (TWO) | (THREE) | (FOUR - I)

Harry replied after sixty-four slow and agonizing minutes. 

(11:02 pm) Harry: hey babe (11:02 pm) Harry: im downstairs 

(11:02 pm) What? (11:03 pm) Right now?

(11:03 pm) Harry: yeah (11:03 pm) Harry: can you open the door for me?  (11:04 pm) Harry: please?

By the time Lia read the last message, she was already buzzing him in. 

She put her phone aside and opened her apartment door, then stepped outside to wait for him in the hallway. 

She wasn’t expecting to have a face-to-face conversation. At least not so soon. Not right then. She figured they’d text a little before seeing each other, or… 

Well, to be completely honest, she wasn’t so sure what she was expecting would happen. But he had called her babe, so that was a good sign… 

Right?

Lia sighed. The palms of her hands were sweating, and she rubbed them on her thighs, then crossed her arms under her chest.

Things were quiet in her building. Silent. So it was easy to hear him as he made it to her floor. 

And then, when she finally saw him, her heart instantly sped up. He was wearing his usual black pants, a black t-shirt, and a cardigan. On the other hand, he looked tired, not carrying his usual cheerfulness and excitement. His hair disheveled, his jaw all tense. And Lia didn’t like that. 

She really didn’t like that. 

She tightened her arms around her and shuffled on her feet, and Harry lifted his gaze from the steps to her face.

As soon as their eyes met, he curled his mouth into the softest smile, then pulled his curls back and away from his forehead. 

“Hi,” he murmured, gradually shortening the distance between them. 

Lia took a step closer, too, and dropped her arms to her sides. 

“Hi…”

Harry frowned.

He stopped in front of her and took his hands to her face, cradling her cheeks. Lia tilted her chin up and wrapped her fingers around his wrists, meeting his stare. 

“Were you crying?” he asked.

She blinked, flickering her eyes between his.

“Maybe? Kinda?”

“Hmm…” He furrowed his brows a little deeper, and rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs. “What’s ‘kinda crying’ supposed to look like?”

“I think… It’s when you were crying… But you don’t want to admit it?” 

His face softened, and he curved his mouth up. Pulling her face closer, he pressed his lips to her forehead and kissed her gently, then pulled away and searched for her eyes again.

“We need to talk,” he said, “and we will. But what was up with your texts? Did you really think there was a chance I wouldn’t want to see you?”

“I—I don’t know? I mean… I didn’t want to just assume…”

“Why wouldn’t I, tho?”

Lia shrugged. 

“You were mad this morning.”

Harry sighed. “I wasn’t mad, Lee, I was upset… It’s different.”

“Oh…” She brushed her thumbs on his wrists, and nodded. “Well, I mean… Still… I’m sorry… Y’know, for upsetting you.”

“I know. It’s okay. I could’ve handled it better, so I’m sorry, too.”

“You handle everything way better than I do, so…”

Harry chuckled. 

“You give me too much credit.” He pulled her closer, embracing her shoulders into a hug. “And yourself too little.”

She circled his waist with both arms and rested her cheek against his chest, aware that she didn’t have an answer for that and trying to find something else she could say.

Harry beat her to it, though.

“Why were you crying?” 

“I just… I didn’t like how we left things this morning.” 

“Yeah… Me neither. Let’s not do that again, yeah?”

Lia smiled. “Okay.”

“And also,” he said, resting his chin on the top of her head, “I might not always handle things very well in the moment, but I don’t want you to feel like we can’t talk about things, ok? I would never just… Disappear. Or anything like that.”

Lia nodded, and sighed. 

“Yeah, I… I know, I know. I freaked out but… Yeah, you’re right. I know you wouldn’t.”

Harry pulled away from their hug with a smile on his face. 

“Good. And please don’t ever be so formal with me again because that freaked the shit out of me.”

“Yeah…” Lia laughed. “It felt weird after I sent them.”

“I’m glad you did, though. I’m glad you reached out.”

“Me too.” 

“Now,” he said, once again cradling her cheeks and taking a step forward, carefully guiding her inside. “I gotta go back to the bar, but can we meet tomorrow to talk?”

Lia nodded, following his movements and walking backwards while still holding onto his waist. “Yeah, of course.”

“Ok. And can I kiss you a little before I go?” he asked, already leaning down and brushing his lips with hers. “Have something to think about while I miss you in the middle of the night?”

Lia nodded again, breathing him in.

“Good.” He stopped walking, and lifted his foot to kick the door closed. “C’mere, then.”

Lia wasn’t the jealous type of girl. 

Insecure? Sure. 

Jealous? No. 

At least she didn’t think she was. During the five years dating Cole, she’d never worried about— 

Okay, maybe her last boyfriend wasn’t the best example. 

And maybe thinking about him wasn’t a smart move. 

She couldn’t help it, though. At the end of the day, Cole wasn’t just her last boyfriend — he was the only boyfriend she’d ever had. And a pretty serious one. 

The only long-term relationship she had experienced, and therefore the only one she could base herself on. 

So, yes, she shouldn’t think about him, but thanks to everything that she had gone through with Cole, Lia knew she wasn’t jealous. 

She was insecure, but not jealous. 

She just wasn’t. 

Not until the next Friday night, at least, when she was walking back home from the grocery store and saw Harry outside the bar talking to someone. 

Talking to a girl. 

And the world around her simply… Stopped. In a different way. In a new way. 

In a worried, scared way.

Mostly because things between her and Harry were still weird after that Tuesday morning. 

They’d talked, yes, and they’d made up, yes, but things were still… Weird. Probably because none of them had mentioned the elephant in the room — which meant they had talked about how Lia hadn’t accepted Harry’s offer to drive her to work and how it’d hurt his feelings, but they hadn’t talked about the fact that Lia hadn’t accepted any offer about anything yet. 

Including going to the bar.

Which she still hadn’t done it.

Lia still hadn’t gone to the bar. 

Even though he’d invited her. 

Multiple times. 

And then it was Friday night and there he was, leaning against the wall of the bar, wearing his usual black pants, black t-shirt, and black cardigan. Arms crossed while looking at his feet.

And next to him, there was a girl. A girl that kept moving her hands while talking excitedly to him. Her clothes reminded Lia of things Jillie would wear back when they were in college — a golden slinky top with a (very) low front cut, paired with a tight leather skirt and black heels. 

Lia couldn’t imagine herself wearing anything even slightly similar to that, and it didn’t seem to match the cold weather at all, but the girl was dressed in what many would consider a perfect outfit for a Friday night out. And, to be honest, she looked pretty. Really pretty.

Prettier than Lia had ever looked. Or felt.

And it occurred to her, right then and there, how she’d never worried about losing Harry to someone he could meet at The Wandering Triplet. She’d been so focused on protecting what they had inside their little and private bubble, that she hadn’t thought about girls he could meet while spending time at work. Girls who could be funnier than her, prettier than her, more confident than her. Girls who would keep him company at the bar, and wouldn’t give a single damn about who would see them together or not. Girls who wouldn’t wait for an invitation to be on their way to see him. To be with him.

Girls like the one across the street, or like the woman she’d seen with him so long ago. 

Girls who were nothing like her.

Why was Harry even wasting his time with her?! 

“Lia, hey!”

Lia jolted, stopping on her track. 

Of course he’d call her name. 

Of course he would make her feel seen, and prove her paranoid thoughts all wrong. 

Again.

Taking a deep breath in, she shook her head briefly, then focused her sight on him. 

Harry watched her with a smile on his face, arms dropped by his side. 

And Lia’s mouth twitched. 

Damn. 

The girl next to him faced Lia as well, but Lia tried not to look at her. She didn’t want to freak out. Feeling nervous because of Harry was already too much, she didn’t need to add any other insecurities on top of it and make herself feel even worse.

“Hii,” Harry said.  

“Hey.” Lia waved — yes, she waved. Because, well, what else was she supposed to do? Was she supposed to walk to him? Cross the street? Keep walking and go home?

Harry opened his arms and wiggled his fingers — giving her the answer she was looking for without even hearing the question.

“Come here!”

She tightened the grip of her fingers around the single grocery bag and nodded, then walked towards them — towards him. Aware that each step she took, each thump of her heart got louder and heavier inside her chest. And that the closer she got, the higher it raised to her throat. 

Things only calmed down when she reached the sidewalk and Harry smiled even wider, then embraced her shoulders in a warm hug. 

“Hiii babe,” he said. 

Lia accepted it with a quiet sigh, timidly circling his waist with her free arm. “Hi…”

Harry pulled away, but kept his arms around her neck and their bodies close together.

“Where were you?” He dipped his chin down and looked inside of her eyes, curling his lips into such an affectionate smile that it caused her belly to flutter. Damn you, Harry. “Went over to yours just minutes ago.”

“Oh.” She smiled, too, not able to hold it back. It was easy to forget the rest of the world when it was only the two of them. “I just went to get some pizzas for later. And ice cream.”

“Hmm.” He leaned his back completely against the wall, pulling her along with him. “What pizza did you get?”

Lia chuckled through her nose. “I got pepperoni for you, don’t worry.”

Harry’s smile grew wider. “Did you, huh?”

Standing between his feet, she tilted her chin up. “Yeah. It’s your favorite, isn’t it?”

“I guess it is.”

He chuckled lightly, and the happiness that radiated off him — through his eyes, through the wrinkles around them, through his grin and his dimples — brought happiness to her own chest. 

He was too good to be true. 

Definitely wayyyy too good to be true.

Next to them, the girl cleared her throat, and the sound brought Lia back to earth. She looked down to Harry’s throat, hoping he didn’t notice how her insides shriveled. 

Or maybe hoping he did. 

Either way, the only one who moved to look at the girl was him. 

“What?” he deadpanned. 

“I’m going back inside,” the girl said. 

“Ok?”

“I just… Thought I’d let you know.”

“Why? I didn’t ask.”

Damn, Harry.

Lia widened her eyes and looked up at him. 

He was frowning at the girl, and his rude attitude took Lia’s mind back in time, not too long ago, when she could only dream about being part of his life. 

The caring and affectionate version of Harry was one she didn’t get to experience until they actually got to know each other, and she had somehow forgotten how he used to close himself and be a completely different person unless he was around people he seemed to want to be around. Or around people he wanted to be nice to. Or something along those lines. 

And although Lia had many times wondered why he’d changed so suddenly with her, the truth is that she hadn’t seen that old version of Harry since the night she’d freaked out on him. And she also had never questioned him too much about it. 

Or maybe at all.

“Jesus Christ,” Harry breathed out, then pressed his forehead against hers. “She just wouldn’t stop talking.”

Lia dropped her shoulders and licked her lips. She hadn’t paid attention to the moment the girl had left, but she definitely wasn’t there anymore.

“Do you know her?”

“Fuck no.” He chuckled, humorlessly. “I don’t know why she decided to stay here.”

Lia snorted. “C’mon. You really don’t know why?”

“I mean… I certainly didn’t give her a reason to. I wasn’t even talking to her.”

“Hmm…” Pulling her head back, she took her free hand to the side of his face, reaching his ear and rearranging a few of his curls. His hair kept getting longer and longer, and she was loving it. “Why didn’t you go inside, then?”

“‘Cause I was waiting for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… Why do you sound so surprised?” He chuckled, tightening his arms around her neck and shrugging. “I’m on my break, told ya I went to see you and you weren’t home, so I waited for a bit.”

“That’s… Thank you, Harry.”

“C’mon, don’t thank me for that.” He brushed the tip of his nose with hers, from one side to the other, then up and down. Lia fluttered her eyes shut, and then, lowering his voice to a whisper, Harry asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Lia licked her lips, and nodded. 

He leaned in, then, pressing their mouths together in a short and soft kiss. 

A kiss that tasted like simplicity. Like easiness. Like home. 

A kiss that had her sighing into his mouth, and him squeezing her into his arms.

And a kiss that, when he finally pulled away, had her threading her fingers on the back of his head and smiling at him. 

“You taste salty,” she murmured.

Harry chuckled. “Thank you? Sorry? ‘M not sure what you meant by that.”

“Definitely a thank you.” She smiled. “Can I have another one?”

“As many as you want.”

Their next kiss was longer, but somehow even softer. As if they had all the time in the world, and nowhere else to be. Nowhere else to go.

After a while, though, and after a couple more kisses, Harry pulled away again, pecking her mouth one last time before resting his forehead against hers. 

“I swear I don’t want to go,” he said, then licked his swollen, just kissed and nibbled lips. “But I’m sure my break ended like… Ten minutes ago.”

She chuckled. “That’s—”

“Twenty, actually.” A male’s voice interrupted, startling both of them. 

Lia took a step back and looked to her side, finding the bouncer on his usual spot — sitting on a stool, by the front door of the bar, and scrolling through his phone.

Had he been there the entire time? 

With a chuckle, Harry took a step back from the wall, forcing Lia to take another step back, too.

“I’ll see you in a couple of hours,” Harry said.

“Mhm. Sure.”

That had been their first public interaction, hadn’t it? 

And she hadn’t even realized. Everything had happened so naturally, that she hadn’t even worried about who could be around them. Or who could see them, or who could— 

“Babe.” Harry squeezed her arms. “Look at me.”

“Hm?”

Lia faced him, and Harry furrowed his brows. 

“Don’t worry about him, ok? He won’t say a word about us. He sees me walking over to your place almost everyday now, so it’s not actually news for him, yeah?”

She swallowed, and nodded. 

“Yeah? Alright?”

“Yeah.” She nodded again. “Okay.”

How did he know she was so scared of people saying something? 

Did he know she was terrified of messing it up in front of other people? 

Did he know she was terrified of embarrassing him in front of other people? 

Did he know she was terrified of other people pointing out to him how socially awkward she was? 

Did he know she was painfully convinced people would think he could do better than her? 

Did he know she was painfully convinced people would laugh at him for being with her?

Was Harry actually that good at reading her mind? To the point where she didn’t need to tell him anything, that he would always get her?

Because it surely seemed he was.

It surely felt like he was. 

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Harry asked.

Sitting on the floor and leaning her back against the couch, Lia shook her head. 

“It’s just Molly. I’ll call her later.”

“It’s the third time she’s calling you,” he said from above her, still braiding her hair — or, well, still trying to braid her hair, because they’d been there for half an hour already, and he had started over at least four times. “What if it’s something important?”

It wasn’t. 

Lia knew it wasn’t. 

“It’s not. Don’t worry about it.”

The phone stopped ringing, but only for a second, and then Molly was calling again. 

“Ok. That’s it. You gotta answer your friend.” He held her hair with one hand, and with the other reached for her phone on the coffee table. “I can go to your room and give you some privacy if you want to, but please just answer.”

With a sigh and a groan, Lia grabbed her phone from his hand. Molly’s name flashed on the screen, and her chest tightened. She really didn’t want to face whatever it was that her best friend had to say — because she knew that no matter what it was, she was for sure about to be lectured. 

“Want me to leave?” Harry asked, just as she was answering the call and taking the phone to her ear. 

She turned her head, and tilted her chin up.

“Hey Mols.”

Stay, she mouthed.

Harry nodded, and Lia faced forward, letting him resume with his task while she handled the consequences of ignoring her best friends for the last three weeks. 

“Oh my God! Fucking finally, Lia Lane!”

Lia chuckled. 

“Hiii, I know, I’m sorry… What’s up? How are you?”

“What do you mean ‘what’s up?’ Are you kidding me? You haven’t been answering our texts, and you didn’t come to Jillie’s the other night… I’m worried, y’know?”

Lia looked down to her lap, finding a loose thread on her shorts to fidget with. 

“I know… I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to ignore you guys.” Actually, she did mean to ignore them, but she couldn’t fully explain herself while sitting in between Harry’s legs, and a half-explanation would only make things worse. Hopefully, at some point she would be able to tell them about what was truly going on.

“Yeah well, I also miss you, okay? It sucks to be ignored by your best friend.”

“Again, I’m sorry. I miss you guys too... How are you?”

“I’m good, yeah. Things are good.”

“Okay… I’m glad to hear that.”

“Yeah.” Molly cleared her throat. “I… Look, I met someone.”

Lia widened her eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah… She’s… She’s great. And I wanted to tell you and Jillie about it, okay? You know you’re like, the only family I can introduce her to, so… I mean, that’s why I wanted us to meet the other night… And it just… It sucks that you didn’t show up.”

Harry’s fingers tickled her skin, and Lia pulled forward. She bit her lip to hold back her laughter, then patted Harry’s shin, ignoring his own chuckle and rolling her eyes at him. He shushed her and took his free hand to push her back against the couch, then went back to braiding her hair. 

“Lia? Are you there?”

“Hi, yeah, sorry! I’m here. Again, I’m sorry I missed dinner at Jillie’s. I shouldn’t have.”

“Yeah, it’s whatever… Are you okay, tho? Is everything okay?”

“Mhm, yeah. I just… I’ve been busy.”

“Busy doing what?”

“Y’know…” Lia shrugged. “Just… Stuff. Nothing important. Can we meet this week?”

“Sure… Are you sure everything’s okay tho?”

“Yes, Molly! I'm fine! Don’t worry… I’ve just been busy with work and you know… Outch!” She winced, Harry’s ring getting caught in her hair. He murmured an apology, and tried to untangle the mess as she kept going. “You know how I get sometimes with my anxiety… So I’ve been taking some time to myself, that’s all. But I’m good, I promise.”

“Mm. So… No news?”

“No Mols, no news,” Lia chuckled. “Everything’s the same here.”

Lifting his leg, Harry moved to get around her, then got up from the couch. 

Lia bit her lip as she watched him walk to the kitchen, then to the fridge, finally disappearing behind the open door.

“Lia?” Molly called. 

She blinked.

“Sorry, what?”

“Nevermind… We can talk another time, I can tell you’re busy.”

“I’m not! I’m just… Shit. Sorry I’m so distracted. I’m watching a movie, that’s all. Let’s meet this week, yeah? Maybe get some coffee, or dinner. We can call Jillie, too.”

“Sure. Let’s do that. But please show up, okay? And answer our calls.” 

“I promise I will.”

“Okay… Bye Lia, love ya.”

“Bye Mols, love—”

“You’ll let me know if you need anything, right?”

Lia sighed. She closed her eyes for a second, then stared down at her stretched her legs. “I’m fine, Molly.”

“I know, I know… It’s just… You’ll let me know if you’re not, right?”

“Of course.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay then. Love ya.”

“Love you too, Mols.”

When Lia hung up, she took her phone to her lap and stared at it for a moment. Worrying her friends was the last thing she wanted to do, but she had been so busy and distracted with Harry that she hadn’t been able to balance everything at the same time anymore. She didn’t spend as much time alone as she used to, so she had to reorganize her routine. She couldn’t afford not focusing on her job, and she still had an apartment to take care of, and a family to talk to. So, yes, she’d put her friends aside for a while. Not because she didn’t love them, and not forever, of course. It was just a break she needed until she figured a way to keep up with everything in a healthy and not overwhelming way. 

Still, it sucked that she wasn’t there for them. Lia needed, somehow, to find a way to balance things again. To be there for her friends, like they’d been there for her before. So many times. She needed to— 

“Hey,” Harry said, standing next to the couch.

Lia turned her head, and looked up. 

“Heyy… You didn’t finish my braid?”

“Hm, no, sorry.” He cleared his throat. “Was getting my rings caught there and I couldn’t get it right, so I gave up.”

“Oh, okay.” She nodded, smiling at him as she dropped her head back and rested it on the couch. “Do you still wanna watch a movie?”

“Actually, I was thinking I’d go back to mine.”

“What? Why?” She sat upright and turned her body fully to the side, facing him from the floor. “You’re not shaving again, are you?”

Harry chuckled, rubbing his hand on his chin and scratching his jaw.

“No, not yet, don’t worry. I just… Y’know, need to change my clothes, water my plants… That stuff. Haven’t been there since yesterday morning.”

“Oh. Sure, yeah. Of course.”

She didn’t want him to leave — she really didn’t want him to leave. But they had already spent a lot of time together, so she shouldn’t pressure him on staying any longer than he wanted to. Right? 

Besides, she’d just been thinking about how much she needed to balance things out again, so maybe some time by herself would be good for her. For them. And even for her friends. Right?

Maybe it was a step to move things forward. 

Right?

Lia couldn’t remember how long it had been since the last time she’d been at the bar. And, truth be told, she still didn’t feel like going. She really didn’t. 

She still had hundreds of questions and insecurities about it. She was still terrified of entering Harry’s workplace and seeing him surrounded by so many people. By his coworkers. By other girls. What was she supposed to do around him? Was she supposed to talk to him? Was she supposed to hug him? To kiss him? 

Would he act differently with her now?

He would, right?

Of course he would. 

But what if he wouldn’t?

What if he went back to being rude to her?

It got to a point where staying inside and thinking so much about it became unhealthy. Where all the scenarios she created inside her mind were getting in the way of her living her normal life and doing the smallest tasks, like having dinner, or reading a book. And then it got even worse — when she couldn’t even focus on planning her next classes without having an intrusive thought about the whole thing.

Which was why, on that Saturday night, Lia decided to just go. 

Without thinking again, and without wasting any more time. That way she wouldn’t change her mind. She would just go to The Wandering Triplet and say hi. Simple like that.

And that’s what she did. 

When she arrived, the bouncer smiled and greeted her with the same excitement as always — although he also started by asking if she wanted him to get Harry for her. He’ll be happy to see you, he said after she announced she would actually get inside to say hi. And Lia felt the excitement of a teenager, so it wasn’t a surprise when she walked through the door with a glowy smile on her face.

Inside, people were laughing, chatting, and drinking. Filling the entire place. An acoustic guitar played softly in the background, and a gentle male voice sang a popular song. Despite the big crowd, the atmosphere felt cozy, and joyful. Happy. 

Seeing the place so alive and full made her chest tighten, knowing there was a high chance it suddenly wouldn’t exist anymore. 

Distracted with her thoughts for a couple of seconds, Lia had time to take a deep breath before glancing where she actually wanted her focus to be. There were so many people around the bar that she didn’t see anyone behind it until she stood close enough to lean her elbows on top of the wood. And then, she found them. All of them — Sage, Rohan, and, of course, Harry.

She smiled, then bit her lip.

Unfortunately, he stood too far away for her to call his name without getting everyone else’s attention, so she took a moment to watch him quietly. Secretly. His perfectly messy curls, his facial hair. Black pants, black t-shirt. Mixing drinks, focused on doing his job. Casual. Soft. Hot. 

And all ready to spend the night with her. 

Her heart skipped a beat, and she couldn’t help her smile from getting bigger. There was nothing new about watching him behind the counter, and yet everything was suddenly different. They were different. 

Lia didn’t have to wonder about how it would be to kiss him anymore, about how it would feel to be wrapped inside his arms, or how his voice would sound in the mornings. She didn’t have to fantasize about being touched by his incredible hands, or about tracing his many random tattoos, or about his facial hair scratching her skin.

She didn’t have to wonder anymore, because she was living all of it. 

And even more than all of it.

In front of her, someone cleared their throat, and Lia blinked. 

“So…” Sage watched her with a smirk, arms crossed over her chest and a towel on her shoulder. “Should I get your order, or should I call the reason behind that smile to get it for you?”

“W—what?”

“Lia!” Rohan cheered from the opposite side. A loud exclamation of her name that got everyone’s attention. Hers, Sage’s, and, most importantly, Harry’s. “You’re back!”

Rohan opened his arms and grinned, turning towards where she and Sage stood. 

Harry whipped his head to follow Rohan’s line of sight, quickly meeting her stare. He widened his eyes and smiled, glancing briefly at the drinks in front of him before glancing back at her. 

“Oh I know he’s just dying to come over right now.” Sage laughed. “He’s just got this super annoying group of people waiting for drinks tho.”

Lia nodded, unable to look away from Harry. 

Hi babe, he mouthed. 

If possible, her smile got even wider. 

“I’m Sage, by the way. ‘M not sure if we’ve been properly introduced before.”

That got her attention, and Lia finally darted her eyes away from him. 

“Sorry, I don’t think we have, no. I’m Lia.”

“Oh, I know who you—” 

“Look at you!” Stopping next to Sage, Rohan threw one arm around his coworker, but his stare never faltered from Lia’s face. “You’re alive!”

Lia blinked a couple of times, and nodded.

“Um, yeah,” she said, holding the most stupid smile on her face while darting her sight from him to over his shoulder, where she could see Harry staring at her. “I am, yeah… It’s been, um… It’s been a while, huh?”

“A long while, yeah.” Rohan chuckled. “You can’t go missing like that. This place is not the same without my favorite customer around.” 

Sage snorted, pushing his arm away. “Okay, Casanova. First, you’re making me nauseous. Two, you can’t just assume people want you to flirt with them.”

Rohan chuckled and mumbled something Lia couldn’t hear, nor wanted to hear. Behind him, Harry focused back on his drinks, then back on her, then back on his drinks. And Lia tapped her foot on the floor, wanting nothing more than for him to be done and walk up to her. 

In front of her, Sage cackled, and Lia blinked. 

“Whatever,” Sage said, shaking her head and focusing back on Lia. “I’m gonna see if Harry needs any help. Maybe I can speed things up a little.” 

Sage winked, then turned around and walked away. 

Lia glanced back at Harry, holding his stare until Sage said something that got all of his attention. He broke eye-contact, then, but kept smiling, shrugging and going back to the drinks in front of him while Sage involved herself as well.

“He probably does need all the help,” Rohan said with a chuckle. “Girls go crazy with him. He’s always the busiest. Anywho, how are you? Huh? What have you been up to?”

Lia sighed. Of course she understood that Harry couldn’t leave everything just to talk to her. She wasn’t expecting him to do so. After all, it was his job. However, as Rohan waited for answers to questions she couldn’t even pay attention to, she kind of wished he had. 

It was obvious she wasn’t there to talk to Rohan, and that it wasn’t him the one she wanted to be there with. If Sage had noticed already, why couldn’t he notice it, too?

“Lia?”

“What, Rohan? What?!”

Rohan flinched back, and Lia widened her eyes, turning to him so fast her neck snapped. She winced, then pressed her hand on top of her throbbing muscle. 

“Oh my—Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I’m—I didn’t mean to be rude, I was just— I— I had a long day, and... It’s too crowded here and… I’m really sorry!”

Shit. 

She was lying about having a long day, but not about everything else. It was crowded there. And she didn’t mean to be rude. 

In fact, she didn’t even want to be rude. 

She hated being rude.

She’d been just thinking too much, too nervous about everything. Wishing that Rohan would, at least, notice she wasn’t even looking at him, y’know? Wishing he would stop talking for a little bit. That’s all. But she didn’t mean to snap at him. Especially when he had been nothing but welcoming and nice to her.

God. She hated being rude to people.

“It’s fine.” Rohan rested his hand on her arm, squeezing gently as he offered a soft smile. He loosened the grip, and then moved it away. “Don’t worry about it. Are you okay tho? Do you need anything?”

Lia sighed and shook her head. 

See? Rohan wasn’t a bad person. He had been so sweet to her from the beginning. She shouldn’t just snap at him out of nowhere. That wasn’t nice of her. And it wasn’t fair to him. She could be better than that.

She was better than that.

“I am okay, thanks. But I’m really sorry. I really am.”

“Like I said, don’t worry. Just forget about it.” He waved her off, and she smiled. “Let me get you a drink tho, yeah? On the house.”

“Oh, no, please no.” She shook her head, but made sure to chuckle, keeping everything as light as possible. “No need to, really.”

“I insist. C’mon, what do you want? Or… What if I surprise you with something different tonight, huh?”

“Rohan, it’s fine, really.”

“Lia.” He lifted his eyebrows, as if trying to prove a point. “You’re here to drink something, aren’t you? Even if it’s just water. And it’s my job to get your drink. So let me get it for you.”

“Ugh.” She threw her head back and smiled, both in amusement and annoyance. After a second, she looked back at him and sighed, then rested both forearms on the counter and linked her hands together. “A mojito will be fine, then, thanks.”

“Oh c’mon!” Rohan chuckled. “Aren’t you bored of mojitos already?”

Lia was about to laugh and say something when Rohan hunched down and placed his own forearms on the counter. With a smirk, he caged her arms in between his, then got way closer to her face than he needed to be. Or that he had ever been before. 

And then, for the first time since she’d met him, Rohan made Lia uncomfortable. 

Really uncomfortable.

Inside her chest, her heartbeat sped up. 

“Let me get you something else, huh?”

“N—no, it’s just…” She shook her head. “It’s fine… I mean, I— Well, it’s my… My favorite drink, actually, so…”

He chuckled, placing his fingers around her wrist and squeezing before straightening his back up again. “You’re cute.”

She closed her eyes for just a second, letting the air she was holding out through her nose and dropping her shoulders. 

Oblivious to her reactions, Rohan took a step back, smiling and pointing his index finger at her. “One mojito for my favorite customer, then!”

“I got it,” Harry said, placing a hand on Rohan’s shoulder whilst looking at her.

Lia stood up again, her jaw clenching as she swallowed. 

Harry didn’t look happy. 

Harry also didn’t sound happy. 

At all.

“You?” Rohan turned around, laughing. “Why?” 

“Because.”

“Oh c’mon. It’s Lia, man. I’ll make it.”

“Exactly.” Harry crossed his arms on his chest and tilted his chin up. “Lia prefers my mojitos, so I got it. You can go now.”

Rohan said something, and Harry looked back at him, then back at her. With pulled eyebrows, set jaw, and pursed lips. That angry, bitter expression she had put behind and forgotten about.

As they talked, Lia closed her hands into fists, then swallowed. 

The thud of her heart echoed heavily in her chest, and her lungs suddenly couldn’t hold any oxygen inside them. 

And then, Harry tilted her chin towards her. 

“Why don’t we ask her, then?”

Lia widened her eyes.

What…

What was he doing?

“Hey Lia, don’t you think my mojitos are better than Rohan’s?”

.

.

.

“Aren’t they your favorites?”

She opened her mouth, and closed it again.

Blank. 

Her mind went blank.

“Oh c’mon, weren’t you just chatting with him till now? Laughing with him? What’s gotten to you now? Huh? Cat got your tongue?”

“Dude, what the hell?” Rohan placed a hand on his chest, taking a step to the side and standing in front of him. 

Lia looked down at the counter, then took a step back.

“What’s gotten into you? You’re taking it too far.”

“I just asked her a question. She can answer, can’t she?”

“You’re making her uncomfortable, man.”

“Oh.” Harry scoffed. “So I’m the one making her uncomfortable now?”

“Look at her. Of course she’s uncomfortable. Back off, ok?”

There was a pause as Lia blew out multiple short breaths to pull herself together. Music was still playing, people were still chatting, but everything went silent for her. 

Her chest was too tight. She still couldn’t think. 

She wanted Harry to make her feel better, but Harry had just made her feel worse.

Harry.

Fuck.

She took one hand up to her cheek, wiping the tears she hadn’t even noticed before.

“Lia…” 

Shit. 

His voice… 

He was just… 

“Just leave her alone, man. I got her. Why don’t you…”

A buzz rang inside her ears as their voices faded away. 

She couldn’t breathe. 

She needed to get out of there. 

Lia turned around, grasping her bag tightly between her fingers and squeezing her way into the crowd. 

She needed to get out of there. 

She needed to get out of there. 

She needed to get out of there. 

Voices were muffled as they reached her ears. She couldn’t see, nor hear anyone. 

All she could do was move forward. 

Move her legs. Cross the street. 

And go back to her place.

Get away from everything.

Get away from everyone.

Get away from him.

[maybe-its-5sos]

Try again (Toshinori Yagi Smut)

Requested: no

Summary: You want to add another addition to the family, he’s unsure.

Word Count: 1695

Warning(s): Self-doubt, Smut

“So What I think doesn’t matter?” You question sitting down next to Yagi on the couch.

Tho you’d been with him for years and have 2 kids, he still occasionally gets into these strange thought patterns. Yes, his self esteem has been low ever since he lost use of his All Might form, but you thought that you having been with him for so long would be worth something.

“Of course it does, dear!” His eyes shoot towards yours, as if searching for something.

“Well then, listen to me, I married you because I love you, all of you. Furthermore I prefer you in your smaller form and I’ve told you as much as thousand times. I know it’s not easy, and I know you feel down, but you need to remember that people still love you no matter what!” You say, taking a sip of your tea, offering Toshi his own cup. He takes it, looking like he’s deep in thought.

“You’re right” he says looking at you again with a smile, but it seemed a bit hollow, like he didn’t truly believe it. You decided to not push the matter further for now as your 9 year old barges into the living room from his room. “ Dad! Look” he says excitedly, he had fashioned his blanket into a cape. You smile wiggling your eyebrows at your husband.

He goes to play with him and your 6 year old joins in, playing as a villain.

You thought the ruckus in your house would never stop as your family spent their day off playing heroes and villains and god whatever else came to their creative brilliant little minds. Your husband played along with all of it.

By the end of the night, the kids were so worn out, getting them to bed was a dream. They were sleeping pretty much the second their heads hit the pillow.

You were in your bedroom, getting ready for bed as Yagi joined you. “Hey, I wanna talk to you about something when you have a moment.” You tell your loving husband as you put on your baggy sleep shirt. “What’s on your mind, darling?” He inquired.

“ I want another kid.” You blurt out, looking away, worried about his reaction. A breath hitches in his throat causing him to cough. “Y/n, Im not sure that would be a good idea, the kids would have a pretty big age gap and I don’t know if I could keep up with another kid…” he says, nudging you to face him, putting a finger under your chin to lift it, getting you to look at him.

“I know… but I miss being pregnant” you trail off. “Why would you want another child with someone like me? When we had our boys I was still All might, I still had something to offer.” He confesses quietly. Doubts swirling in his mind. It was true, you had your youngest long before his quirk became nearly un usable. It always worried him, not being able to protect his family anymore, he also thought you would lose your interest in him. To his surprise you had stayed steadfast in your love and adoration for him.

You shoot him a glare, “I love you no matter what Toshi, You have so much more to offer than just being a hero and I still don’t care what form you’re in.” You tell him, giving him a reassuring peck. In all honesty, if you had the time and he had the energy, you’d have a gaggle of kids by now. You’d be jumping his bones at every and any opportunity. Sadly tho, with your family keeping both of you busy and his injuries hindering his sex drive, that hasn’t been a possibility.

“I don’t know” he says nervously. “Just think about it, even if the answer is no, I would appreciate you giving it a thought.” You tell him, looking at him with a slightly sad look. He caught it immediately but didn’t say anything about it, giving you a nod.

Getting in bed, you fall asleep tho a little restless, he on the other hand couldn’t sleep. Toshis thoughts were racing.

He wanted to give you want you want. He always had. But at the same time he was unsure if he could handle another kid. Yagi loves his boys and would do anything in his power for them. Could he have another?

Before he knew it, the blaring alarm, rays of sunshine and tussling from your side of the bed awoken him from a slumber he didn’t even realise he was in. He keeps his eyes shut, trying to get a little more sleep while you get out of bed and make your way to the kitchen.

Cheerful giggles fill your home and delightful smells of food tingle the nose. Toshi shuffles towards the kitchen, stopping when he sees you three. Playfully preparing breakfast. The youngest is holding the spatula, while the oldest is getting things out of the fridge to set on the table. You’re cutting up fruit as you giggle at your youngest making goofy faces.

They look so much like a younger version of their father. You always wonder where your genetics disappeared to.

The breakfast was delicious, even if Toshi couldn’t eat a whole lot and everyone was all giggles. Today was the end of the weekend, meaning the boys needed to clean up their rooms and do all their homework. And man does Yagi find it sexy when you go into teacher mode. You run a tight ship. The boys already know the routine.

Your husband’s heart flutters as he watches you help your oldest do his math as the youngest also listens tho he clearly doesn’t fully understand what you’re going on about. Maybe he truly does want another kid.

Getting back to the bedroom, the boys clean and in bed, getting ready to go to sleep yourself. Toshi comes out from the shower a beautiful wide sparkling smile on his face. “I think I’m okay with trying for another.”

“What?” You question, what he said not quite registering. “ I want another baby, unless you’ve changed your mind, dear” He explains, his smile slightly faltering. “Really?!” You whisper shriek. He nods, his smile even brighter than before, you swear that smile could make you melt if you looked at it long enough.

You smash your lips into his, pulling him into a passionate kiss as you pull him closer by the drawstrings on his pj pants. “Are you sure?” You say catching your breath. “Yes.” He chuckles. As you make your way towards your bed.

He gently pulls the shirt you just put on over your head, throwing it on the ground together with his pj pants. He’s already starting to pitch a tent in his underwear. He’s gently kissing down your neck as you gently play with his hair. He reaches your breasts, gently nuzzling one as he squeezes the other, a gentle hum escaping you.

“You’re so beautiful, y/n” he says, taking one of your nipples in his mouth. He gently suckles on in, soon switching to the other. “ I wish we had time to do this more often” you murmur. He chuckles lowly, kissing down your abdomen, getting closer and closer to your core.

He gently nibbles on the soft supple skin of your inner thigh, earning a slight arch of the back from you.

He gently removes your panties, rubbing a finger in your folds. Soon his tongue follows. He’s eating you out like it’s his last supper, earning moans and groans from you, your hand stuck in his hair unable to contain your pleasure. You can feel a mile on his face as he gets you this riled up. He knows he can’t last as long as he used to, so he makes sure you feel as good as possible before the main act.

Euphoria hits you as your muscles clench, begging for a release. His tongue hits your clit perfectly, throwing you off of the cliff, bliss clouding your mind.

“ I need you” you moan, as Toshi gets back on top of you while you try to push his underwear off. He assists you revealing his massive member. Even after all these years, you’ve still never quite gotten used to it. Didn’t help that he was gone so often. “ I love you, y/n” he tells you as he’s lining himself up, giving you a deep, passionate kiss. It feels like he needs you, in a way that could never be described. It’s so loving yet needy.

“ Are you ready, sweetie?” He groans. “Yeah” you moan in anticipation. He gently pushes into you, giving you a bit of time to adjust. You roll your hips into him, signalling for him to move.

The thrusts are slow, deep and sweet. He’s making love to you like it’s the first time, no matter how many times you’ve been in this situation. He’s always just so sweet and caring. His hips roll into yours so naturally, like you’re made for each other. Youre both trying to keep it down, but it feels so good that some quiet groans escape both of you. Yagis pace quickening as his climax is getting closer.

You pull him closer, your nails gently grazing his back. He’s kissing your neck, sucking on the skin here and there but not hard enough to leave marks. Your becoming more and more breathless as you get closer to your second cumming.

His thrusts become jagged and less rhythmic as you feel him twitch in you. A few more thrusts later, you climax again, him following shortly after. He stays inside as his seed shoots into you, his breaths short and body being held up by just his elbows. Yagi shoots you a bright smile, kissing your cheek. “Hopefully that did the trick” he chuckles, slowly pulling out and laying down next to you.

“I wouldn’t mind doing that again,” you beam, sending him a wink, a deep blush gracing his cheeks.

“I love you, y/n”

“I love you too, Toshi”

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With love,

-K