#and that needs to be talked about!!!!!!!! IM JUST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE THO SO LIKE CAN THIS FUCKING SEARCH ENGINE WORK???

[transsexula]

No. Google. I'm actually looking specifically for trans MEN. I know a lot of articles talk about trans women. But I'm specifically looking for stuff about my subset of the trans community. Why the fuck are trans men so hyper-invisible.

[hwanwooyoung]

I hate work

[todayisafridaynight]

One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad

[haven-gum-rockrose]

going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.

[lumalalu]

man fuck it im gonna start doin wip wednesdays here

Summer is sweet and endless and she has nothing to do but look at me. She's looking at me now, through the sun's glare on her mirror. She shadows the shapes of my mouth, but doesn't put her voice to my words.

My parents are worried about Grace. They think something's wrong with her - I know what it is. Grace knows, too, looking at me, looking through the glare in the mirror. Everything about her is wrong. I could fix her, if she would let me.

Solid, measured knocks. "Gracie?"

"Yeah?" She pulls her braids back to look at her shoulders uncovered. The angle of her jaw. She is trying to see how it matches up to mine.

"Your mother and I are going to go to the mall. Do you want to come?"

I've never been a fan of the sweltering heat of a cracked-asphalt parking lot, nor the chill on my skin in a Macy's. Grace says, "Okay." But she only said that so that she can look away from me. She is a fool. I can be found in anything that can reflect. I watch her in the windows, in silver lockets, in the mirrors she models new boots in. She parades about like a wind-up toy, a ballerina in a music box. Her mother hands her new skirts for the new school year, button-up blouses, low-cut but not whorish, and modest stockings.

The dressing rooms are hidden in the corner, neatly separated by two icons of triangles - one upside and one downside. I follow her to the wrong one, the wrong stall. It's cramped and ill-fitting, somewhat like a body. Grace tries her best to avoid me still. It's a valiant effort, I'll give her that much. But at some point, in a few minutes, maybe, she'll have to turn around and face me.

Grace takes off her tanktop like the accused pushing off concrete slabs. She hisses with impatience at the clasp of her bra and its stubborn claws in her skin, throws it on the bench with more violence than is necessary. Branded into her back it remains, aching, smoking. Cramped and ill-fitting. She itches at it like the fabric is stuck in her, like it still remains subcutaneously and she could pull it away finally, permanently, if she also removed the skin. Her nails are well cared for, and so, won't do the job. I smile at the sound of her bent elbows.

Her pants go too, her keys squeezing free of the claustrophobic pockets and diving with raucous applause to the floor. Her phone is in her purse, because the back pockets are only decorative. Grace doesn't curse. Her words are never ugly. Instead, her lips bend into the shape of: "shit", and then she bends and picks up the keyring. It is unadorned. Why should it be anything else? A key only has one purpose.

For a moment we stand there together, Grace's back to me, my back not quite to hers. She is hesitating, stretching out the moment between one set of clothes and the next. The blouse is slippery and coarse in texture, sends spider legs running over her back. The skirt is of good quality, but takes up in the back, so she is afraid to bend. No pockets.

I ask her if I can see it. She stares at the off-white wall in silence, and then she turns.

"Oh, no, Gracie. That won't do at all." I tell her. "That thing isn't even fit to be a tablecloth. It's see-through, it's itchy on my ribs. It's pushing my skin too close to my bones, the points of my ribs poking at my lungs. It's like a coffin leaking air, sighing its way into the ground." 

Her breath hitches. "I don't know what's wrong with me." She's saying to herself, to the mirror, to me. I make a sound - in my mouth it is sympathetic, but in hers it is animal, pained, cornered.

[nereidprinc3ss]

do you believe me now? | 4

in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.

series masterlist

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses

(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!

“Three million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.”

You’ve lost count of how many stupid math questions you’ve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think you’ve finally stumped him. 

“That one is complicated.”

You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye. 

“You don’t know.”

“I do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you aren’t a math person.”

“Bullshit!” You scoff, “you don’t know!”

“It would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. It’s a really big number.”

“Oh, really big, huh?” you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. “Um… what numbers did I say?”

Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign. 

You look at it. 

And then you set your phone down. 

“I was right, huh?” he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness. 

Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“I don’t like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?”

Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside. 

“The e stands for exponent. It’s to the power of ten.”

“Ever heard of a rhetorical question?”

“Yes, I have.”

It’s hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes. 

“You’re annoying. Let’s do something else.”

You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, he’s still in his suit from work—he’d left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment. 

He looks good. Almost too good. 

“Something like what?” he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek. 

“Something… naked?”

His grin widens and he shakes his head. 

“Me naked or you naked?”

Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Mm… why not both?”

“Hm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?”

The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencer’s to kiss him. 

“Because you’re so smart, and you think it’s a great idea.”

He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.

“You sound sure of yourself.”

“Because I am!” You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. “It doesn’t make any sense for us to have not had sex. I don’t care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.”

He grabs your wrist carefully. 

“It is not moral,” he scoffs. “We haven’t even talked about it yet.”

“Really? Because I feel like we’ve talked about it a lot.” 

He begins to reply, but you realize you don’t want to get into a debate over whether you’ve technically talked about it yet. “I don’t even care! If that’s all that’s standing in your way, then let’s talk about it. Right now.”

Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek. 

“Fine. But I have things to say you’re not going to like.”

“So business as usual?”

He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best. 

“I know you probably won’t see it this way, but—sex is different than everything else we’ve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connection—that’s all true. Which is why, in my opinion, it’s incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because it’s so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust and—and… care about.”

A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.

Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. You’ll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesn’t ache just a little in your whole body. 

You cover his hand with your own. 

“Are you going to break up with me anytime soon?”

Spencer’s eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion. 

“What? No!”

“Are you going to cheat on me?”

“Absolutely not, I—”

“Then I’m not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.”

“Honey, I just want you to be 100% sure that I’m what you want.”

“Oh my god,” you groan, flopping onto your back once more. “I have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I don’t know how to be any surer.”

It’s quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal you’d been anticipating doesn’t come—instead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies. 

“Every time?”

“…yes, every time,” you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks. 

“Interesting. And what is it that you think about exactly?”

You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way he’s sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know it’s a false pretense. 

“Ugh, I don’t know! Don’t make me answer that!”

“You said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,” he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. “Tell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.”

You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this. 

“I… I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.”

Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy. 

“It might, sweetheart. That’s one of the reasons we’ve held back. I… really don’t want to hurt you. I don’t even know if I can.”

You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel. 

“Sometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.”

He kisses your palm. 

“You’ll be okay. It doesn’t hurt for everyone, and even if it does, you’re resilient.”

“Exactly. So you have to get over yourself.”

Spencer laughs like he wasn’t expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you.  

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.”

He’s smiling again as he leans down and kisses you—a slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him. 

“Please?” you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you. 

“What is it that you think you want? You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”

“Tell me,” you beg, chasing his lips. “Tell me what you’re going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.”

Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly. 

“You want to know what I’d do to you?”

“Yes—” you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds. 

“Well… we both know how anxious you get,” he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. “You’re hard to get out of your head when you’re nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute you’re with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch you—so first I would touch you like I’ve touched you before. I’d make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.” You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. “You’re going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?”

As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no. 

“I mean I need you relaxed and wet. You’ll excuse my crude language.”

You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on it’s almost painful. 

“What are you gonna do after that?”

“What else is there to do but fuck you after that?” he breathes. “You want me to tell you how I’d fuck you?”

Something about it makes you whine salaciously. You’ve heard him curse—you’ve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when it’s low in your ear and you’re covertly undressing him and he’s pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly. 

“Yes, please.” 

He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting. 

“I would have to take my time with you. You’ll be overwhelmed. I know you think you won’t, but you will. I’m going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. It’s going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.”

“Why careful? I don’t want that.”

He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine. 

“Yeah, you do. You’re going to want me to be careful when I’m—” he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. “Right here. Approximately.”

The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it. 

“Please don’t make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I don’t want it to be anyone else. I promise I’m ready.”

It’s silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. He’s finally going to give you what you’ve been begging for. 

Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmering—

And then his phone rings. 

You both freeze—he melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present. 

He’s breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing. 

“I’m sorry.”

Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.

“This is Reid,” he says, lackluster. 

If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is saying—but you don’t bother listening. It’s going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem. 

“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”

He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfully—taking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest. 

“I have to go right now,” he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place. 

You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipper—though all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand. 

“I know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.”

He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair. 

“I don’t love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?”

You force a smile. Great. So you’ll be spending the night in his bed after all—just without him. 

“Sure. Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful. 

Soon you’re walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighs again. 

“Spencer, it’s fine. It’s your job. You don’t need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.”

“I know, but… it’s easier in theory than in practice.”

You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and he’s missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you. 

But it’s not their fault. You just want someone to blame. 

Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you. 

In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound it’s like a chemical reaction—everywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It is a fever dream. It’s every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul. 

“Spencer?”

“Hm?” 

It’s nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin. 

“I…”

Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesn’t change the fact that he’s about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential. 

He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands. 

“You what?” He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuck—you feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind. 

“I forget.”

FUUUUUUCK. 

Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake. 

He knows. 

He knows you didn’t forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and he’s going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity. 

Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like. 

“Well, let me know if you remember.”

It’s too gentle and at the same time he can’t hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.

Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly they’d interacted before. 

You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bed—though you don’t really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.

But perhaps this is all an overreaction. It’s not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anything—it was bad timing, anyway. And why can’t he say it? In fact, why hasn’t he said it? 

Maybe you have it all wrong. 

Maybe he doesn’t feel that way about you. 

You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick. 

24 hours go by. 

24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartment—it was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldn’t call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadn’t left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries you’d used up. 

Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure. 

Before you know it, it’s midnight, and you’re dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush you’d bought at the store—maybe this whole situation hadn’t been entirely unwitting on your part.)

Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If it’s something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how you’re able to doze off. 

You’re almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern who’s even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because you’re half asleep, you answer without checking. 

“Hello?”

Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep. 

“Shit, did I wake you?”

“Spence?” you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed. 

“… yeah,” he chuckles. “Did you not check who was calling before you picked up?”

“I was asleep,” you pout. “Kinda.”

“Okay. Go back to sleep, honey. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone. 

“No! No, I’m awake. What’s up? Why did you call?”

A longer stretch of silence—you’re too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadn’t said. 

“I just needed to hear your voice,” he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room. 

“Oh. Is everything okay?”

“As much as it can be.”

“Right.”

More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you haven’t had with Spencer in a while. 

“I’m sorry… I don’t really know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, “why don’t you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if you’re too tired.”

“Don’t ask me about my day,” you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs. 

“What? Why?”

“Because if I tell you you’re going to think I’m super weird and you’re going to break up with me.”

Laughter tapers off into gentler tones. 

“I already think you’re super weird. It’s actually one of your most attractive qualities.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks. 

“But it’s like… borderline crazy.”

Immediately, he replies, “for better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.”

“Thank you for calling me crazy and super weird,” you grumble. 

“I also called you attractive twice. Tell me.”

When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and it’s sort of raspy and low because it’s late and he’s been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his face—you imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphone—you have a very difficult time saying no. 

“Fine. Guess where I am right now.”

“Um, I would hope you’re in bed?”

You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly. 

“Guess whose bed.”

Silence. 

“What an interesting question.” That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. “If it’s not mine or yours, we’re going to have issues.”

“But if it is yours? You’re not going to call the police on me?”

“Why would I call the police? To tell them there’s a pretty girl in my bed and I don’t want her there?”

“To tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages there.”

Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.

“If you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.” The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. “But—yeah, don’t invite anyone else in.” More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. “Having people in my space makes me anxious.”

“But not me?” Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencer’s reply is soft, as if he’s picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.

“No, not you. You are always the exception.”

“Good,” you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. “Because I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.”

Spencer groans. 

“You’re killing me.”

“What? What did I do!”

“Don’t talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think you’re intentionally being a brat.”

“You asked me about my day! I’m just telling you what I did!”

But you’re also intentional teasing him for sure.  After a pause, he sighs in defeat. 

“You’re right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.”

“Well,” you begin, all too eager, “I had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, and—”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” you frown. 

“Tell me what this is.”

“I—I don’t know what you mean.”

Lying to a profiler is usually pointless. 

“I’m not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.”

Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up. 

“I don’t know. I miss you.”

He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.  It changes the frequency you’re vibrating at. It’s hypnotic. 

“But that’s not really why you’re being intentionally provocative, is it?”

“No,” you admit quietly. “I’m still upset you had to go last night.”

“So you’re frustrated and you’re taking it out on me?”

Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like that…

“I’m not taking anything out on you.”

“I think you are. And I don’t appreciate that, because I’m on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?”

Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you don’t understand. 

“Your bed with me,” you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket. 

“Right. So why don’t you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?”

“I wasn’t punishing you,” you mutter. 

“No? You weren’t intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that I’d have to think about what I can’t have right now?”

“I—”

“Believe me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I can’t have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you can’t say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts I’ve been having about you for seventeen hours.”

The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges. 

“What… what thoughts?”

“None that you need to concern yourself with.”

“You can’t just say something like that and then not tell me!” you insist. He’s obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and it’s fair but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. 

“I can do whatever I want,” Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because he’s right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within you—a desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it. 

“Fine. Then so can I. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it even if I could.”

“Spencer,” you warn. “If you don’t tell me what you were thinking I’m gonna—” you look around the room for ammo. “I’m gonna look through your nightstand!”

“Go ahead. I’ll warn you, it’s not very interesting.”

“Sounds like what someone who has something hide would say,” you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer. 

Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contents—a small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, and—

“Spencer Reid,” you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, “what are these?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see what you’re referring to.”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Oh, I have one. But I’d like to hear you say it.”

You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Well—they don’t say karma is a bitch for nothing. 

“What are you doing with a box of condoms?” 

He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you. 

“Those are years old. I’ve used three since I bought them.”

“Don’t tell me that,” you whine. “I don’t wanna think about all the other women you’ve seduced.”

“You wanted them to be for you, huh?” 

You flush. Honestly you hadn’t even thought about that. 

“I… I don’t know. I kind of just assumed…”

It’s silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadn’t even considered protection when you’d imagined sleeping with him before. 

“You assumed what, honey?” he asks, voice soft. 

“It’s dumb. I can’t tell you.”

“You can tell me anything. I’m not going to think it’s dumb, I promise.”

You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest. 

“Whenever I imagined it… we didn’t… use anything.”

The words make you cringe even as you’re saying them. So does the quiet that follows. 

“When you imagine us sleeping together, we don’t use a condom?”

“Ah!” The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. “You didn’t have to say it! You make me sound so weird!”

“It’s not weird,” he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, “I just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said… we would definitely use protection.”

“Do we have to?”

The quiet words take even you by surprise—and they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts. 

“We really should, baby. That’s the kind of thing we need to take seriously.”

“But you’re… you’re good, right?”

Thankfully he picks up on your meaning. 

“I am. I wouldn’t touch you if I weren’t.”

“And I’m good. So...”

“Hm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?”

You groan in frustration. 

“Spencer, I’m being serious! There are ways to negate that.”

“Honey,” he murmurs, “I understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, but—”

“I’m telling you it’s already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.”

The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaks—to your surprise, his voice is low and humorous. 

“That is… good to know. But even so—I’m setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.”

“Is it such a bad thing that I just wanna—I wanna know what it feels like? You don’t want that?”

“That’s not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. I’m just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.”

You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them. 

“You know what I was thinking about?” you ask. Spencer hums curiously. “I was thinking about when you let me, um… when you let me touch you how you touch me.” He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.

“When you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?”

“When I—yeah,” you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. “And  how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like… inside me.”

He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like you’re not touching yourself just a little bit. 

“You want me to come inside you?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice. 

—

On the other side of the line, Spencer isn’t doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and it’s only getting worse with each little noise you make that you don’t seem to realize you’re making. 

“Really? That would be very messy, baby. I’m surprised that’s what you want.”

“But I really want it,” you breathe. He’s not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or not—but he’s here now. 

“Yeah? Is that why you’re touching yourself right now?”

You go silent—which is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, two—

“’M not.”

Now, he could explain how he knows that’s a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesn’t feel like explaining any of that. 

“I know that’s not true,” he murmurs. “You know what? It wasn’t fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I don’t want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.”

You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers. 

“Where are you touching?”

“Um—over my clothes.”

Cute. 

“Go under them for me. Tell me how it feels when you’re touching yourself like that.”

It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until you’re whispering, “feels… it feels good. I wish you were here.”

He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base. 

“I know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. I’m right here.”

Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines what’s happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut. 

“I need them inside,” you whine, and he knows you’re referring to his fingers—the ones currently stroking his own leaking cock. 

“You can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?”

“I am ready—” judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, you’ve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. “Spence, it doesn’t feel the same.”

“We’re different sizes, honey. Your hands aren’t as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.” 

He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower third—in other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reach—but he refrains. He’s not sure if that’s good dirty talk. 

“You have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. It’s going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. There’s a quiet moment. “I can’t—I don’t think I can r—oh,”

The moan is so pretty Spencer can’t help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump. 

“Did you find it?”

“Yeah,” you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. “Oh my god.”

“Be gentle,” he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. “You’re really sensitive there. If you’re not careful you’ll make yourself sore.”

“I don’t care—holy shit—” the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. “Oh my god, Spencer,” in that same strained, high voice. “’M gonna—ah!”

He gets the general sentiment. 

“What, baby? You’re gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“Mhm!”

“Yeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?”

“Yes,” you cry. 

“See? You don’t need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you can’t stop squirming. I don’t know how you think you’re going to take my cock.”

“Spencer!” 

He knows. 

“Come, baby. Let me hear you.”

The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his own—grunting as he comes all over his fist. 

“Jesus,” he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. He’s lightheaded and he’s created a mess and it all happened so quickly. “Fuck,” he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel he’d dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. “You conscious over there?”

“I’m conscious,” you slur, breathing heavily. “I’ve never had an orgasm by myself before.”

“Are you proud of yourself?” Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure he’s otherwise clean. “You should be. I am.”

He’s barely kidding. 

“I’ll be proud when I can do it without your help,” you tease. 

“But I’ll always want to help you with that.” His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what he’d said. “Sorry I was so vulgar.”

You laugh. He blushes even more. 

“Are you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.”

“I don’t know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and I’m genuinely appalled.”

“Well, don’t stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.”

“Yeah, I think I’m corrupting you. You probably shouldn’t enjoy it.”

The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but he’s pretty sure his voice alone doesn’t betray that and you can’t sense it through the phone. 

“Oh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop I’ll be very upset.”

“Well god forbid you get upset,” he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason he’s suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide. 

Or if it was something else. It could also be something else. 

For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you. 

—

A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, you’re mapping constellations in the texture of Spencer’s ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine he’s really here. 

You think about what he said—his apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?

“Spencer?” you murmur. 

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, “always,” through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength. 

“If Penelope hadn’t called, last night… were you going to have sex with me?” 

Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like he’s about to speak—and lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink. 

“I don’t know,” he finally admits, lamely. “That wasn’t my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.”

“But why can’t it be your plan?” It’s an almost whine, pouty and childish—but the next words are quiet and pained. “Is it something I’m doing wrong?”

“No, no! It’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s—it’s complicated. It’s a me thing.”

Such trite words—such a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know he’s capable of all the eloquence in the world. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s ridiculous. 

“Okay. Let me simplify this for you,” you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. “I want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or we’re not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And I’m not eternally patient, Reid.”

Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue. 

“Watch your mouth,” he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. “When you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.” You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. “You know what I want. I’ve been very clear with you about that. But…”

“But…?”

Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared. 

“But—but to be completely honest… I worry that you’ll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and I’m not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and it’s incredibly intimate and I don’t want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.”

The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing him—that you could never, ever regret anything about him—one thing stands out. 

“You regret your first time?” 

Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell he’s not annoyed at you for asking so much as he’s flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does. 

“Yeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The person—she didn’t… like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasn’t in love with me—or maybe she was, I don’t know—but my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about me—that’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t want you to feel bad if we don’t feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, it’s different, I—I just don’t want us to do something we can’t undo because I don’t want to relive that. And I’m not saying it will never happen but I just don’t want you to make this choice when… when right now, I think we’re in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I don’t want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didn’t understand. I’m sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But I’ve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.”

Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the world’s worst case of whiplash. 

Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins. 

What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesn’t feel the same. 

You want to scream bloody murder. 

But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, “oh.”

Maybe that’s worse. 

Spencer doesn’t reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence. 

“I didn’t realize you…”

I didn’t realize that you don’t love me back. 

I didn’t realize I like you more than you like me. 

I didn’t realize you’d tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later. 

If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesn’t love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was. 

“I’m sorry,” he lamely says again, like it could ever help. 

More silence. Now you can’t bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does. 

“I realize how awkward this is. I really didn’t mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when I—god, I’m stupid. I’m sorry. But can we—can we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?”

Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why he’s not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?

What does one even wear to a breakup date?

“Okay,” you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like you’ve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound. 

Spencer sighs. It’s a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more. 

“Okay. I—okay. Thank you. Um—I’ll let you go back to sleep, now.”

“Okay,” you repeat—as if any of this were okay. But you can’t keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if it’s not, you’re silly and dramatic and you’re just proving him right. 

“Goodnight,” Spencer whispers, and you can’t help but feeling that it’s the last time you’ll ever hear those words from his mouth while you’re in his bed. And he’s not even fucking here.

So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because they’ll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here. 

“Goodnight.”

-

part five

[amaranthineghost]

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🐟 ꒱ my american lover ( logan sargeant. )

logan sargeant x aussie!reader

in which a series of instagram posts causes the internet to think you're oscar's girlfriend

authors note: motivation these days is like trying to find water in a desert TvT doesn't help that this deleted the first time i tried to post it

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri and 4,028 others

ynusername life lately

view all 302 comments

user HELP THE OSCAR PICTURE?

user this was not on my 2024 bingo card

⤷ user it was not on mine either what 😭😭😭

user since when does yn know about oscar piastri?

⤷ user and since when was he in her likes???

oscarpiastri where did you even get that photo 🥲

⤷ ynusername mumma piastri has a soft spot for me 😊

⤷ oscarpiastri ah

user omg she knows oscar's mom too

user is this a soft launch???

⤷ user using oscar's photos from when he was a kid? i sure hope not 😭

⤷ user okay yeah, that'd be a little bit awkward, but why else would she post a picture of him in her photo dump

user twitter is gonna go crazy

⤷ user i can already see the threads

user does no one know that they're friends?

⤷ user i thought this was common knowledge atp because he has appeared in her previous posts...

⤷ user right, there's photos of them as kids karting together

user ynscar 🙏

⤷ user i found my people

user the ynscar rumors starting up again is wild

⤷ user well they never denied anything

⤷ user ...

⤷ user are you on something?

ynusername

liked by lilymhe and 1,937 others

ynusername what a view (the city, not oscar)

view all 103 comments

user stop, she's so pretty...and he's there

lilymhe we need to hang out and take pictures! the boys will find something to entertain themselves 😘

⤷ ynusername asap! 🙏🏻 they see each other every day, whats another?

⤷ lilymhe exactly! 😊

⤷ alex_albon what am i being signed up for?

user oh my god, lily and yn planning a hangout with their boyfriends? so its confirmed?

⤷ user AND THEY SEE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY??? GOTTA BE!!!

oscarpiastri is this just your new thing to post random photos of me?

⤷ ynusername yeah pretty much

⤷ oscarpiastri great thanks

⤷ ynusername anytime 🙂‍↕️

user of all the photos of oscar she could've chosen, she used this one

⤷ oscarpiastri right

⤷ user OMG OSCAR ILY!!!

user am i the only one who doesn't believe the ynscar rumors?

⤷ user you aren't because it just doesn't make sense

⤷ user right like just because she started putting memes of him in her posts doesn't mean they are outright dating

logansargeant the view looks great!

⤷ ynusername its so gorjos! (you're not talking about oscar, right?)

⤷ logansargeant gorgeous, babe, and no, of course not (yeah, i might be)

⤷ ynusername (oscar isn't the view here!)

⤷ logansargeant (says who) (and why are we talking in parentheses)

⤷ ynusername (i don't know) (why are you talking in parentheses?)

⤷ logansargeant (i don't know, that's why i asked you)

⤷ ynusername (well i don't know either)

⤷ logansargeant (you've said)

⤷ user (what's going on?) (why did he call her babe???)

⤷ user (why are logan and yn talking?) (not on my 2024 bingo card)

⤷ user (well they both know oscar)

⤷ user (but he called her babe??)

user help all the replies to their comments being in parentheses as well 😭😭😭

user am i the only one who prefers yngan to ynscar

⤷ user nope!

⤷ user i love them so much, but it's probably unlikely and we don't see much interaction from them

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri and 3,408 others

ynusername pov you're max verstappen at miami and you look in your mirrors

view all 231 comments

user oh my god

user im speechless

user the soft launch with the meme of oscar was not on my list of things happening this season 😭

bsfusername you know you're never beating the rumors

⤷ ynusername sadly 😓😓😓

⤷ bsfusername okay but when was this tho

⤷ ynusername wdym 😋

⤷ bsfusername don't gaslight me

⤷ ynusername what's gaslighting???

⤷ bsfusername bitch.

⤷ user rumors? such as the ynscar rumors?

user logan in the likes?

⤷ user hes BEEN in the likes for a hot sc, you just couldn't see him lurking

oscarpiastri you're not coming to the next race

⤷ ynusername WHY NOT??? IM YOUR BIGGEST SUPPORT 🙏🏻

⤷ oscarpiastri support your boyfriend

❤️ by author + logansargeant

⤷ ynusername SHHHH!!!

user wait so oscar isn't her boyfriend?

user anyone see logan in the likes???

⤷ user gotta support the homie's girlfriend

⤷ user gotta

⤷ user they aren't dating 😭

user okay, but do we know FOR SURE oscar and yn are dating? they just seem like really close friends...?

⤷ user SOMEONE GETS IT

user real ones know that oscar and yn are childhood friends

ynusername has posted a story!

[caption: guys look at my uber driver 😢]

view all story replies

user PLEASE RESPOND TO THE RUMORS

user 1. you're dating oscar a. true b. false

user he doesn't even have the steering wheel 😭

ynusername 🤫

user oh my god im gonna faint, tell oscar and logan i love them

oscarpiastri you had the wheel

ynusername stupid, american cars amiright 🤣

oscarpiastri sure

ynusername okay no need for the attitude mr. im a formula 1 driver and am too cool for my BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

oscarpiastri go bother your BOYFRIEND

ynusername okay

ynusername ...

ynusername you're supposed to feel bad

oscarpiastri 😐😑😐

ynusername

liked logansargeant and 7,078 others

ynusername my american boy <3

view all 227 comments

user the random middle of the day hard launch

⤷ user but im not complaining

logansargeant my kangaroo <3

⤷ ynusername EXCUSE ME???

⤷ logansargeant 😊

⤷ ynusername okay american eagle

oscarpiastri finally putting an end to the rumours i see

⤷ ynusername well you weren't going to do it so someone had to

⤷ oscarpiastri i thought it was common knowledge that i had a girlfriend that wasn't you

⤷ ynusername osc...im gonna hold your hand when i tell you this

⤷ oscarpiastri dont touch me

user the sass from oscar 😭😭

⤷ user i know right😭🫣

logansargeant

liked by ynusername and 143,203 others

logansargeant i love my aussie side

view all 1,047 comments

user ON MY CELLULAR DEVICE???

oscarpiastri i thought i was your aussie side mate

⤷ logansargeant oh no, you are dw

⤷ ynusername probably why he put a picture of oscar in the hard launch

⤷ logansargeant you put one in the soft launch

⤷ ynusername fair point

user i was not expecting this (i was indeed expecting it)

—

taglist (found here): @slut4lrh @kaa12 @taylorslovesswifties13 @sbella13 @nhlfs @beskardroids @hiireadstuff @sapphiccloud @lorenica @delululeclerc @c-losur3 @namgification @casperlikej @darleneslane @soamericn @decafmickey @tellybearryyyy @geniusalpaca @mel164 @littlegrapejuice @rylieverstappen-sargent @ahnneyong @ln4smiamitrophy @jiggly-puff-12 @jamieebuolos @ireadthensuetheauthors @jaasworld

proofread by @foreveralbon <333

[gay-dorito-dust]

hey, i really enjoyed reading your angst drabbles and i was thinking if you could write something like Viktor neglecting reader and all her attempts to be close to him again, and when she decides to give up on him, she almost die in the council room explosion, after he stood her up again, leaving her in some state of coma. then he regret everything, after all she should’ve been with him…

sorry if i made some mistakes, english is not my first language but im trying my best! 🫶🏻

Ah yes, more angst *laughs maniacally in several cups of coffee and severe need to make ppl cry* also your English is perfect, no need to apologise sweetie. Also! This is extremely long cuz I got carried away. Hope you enjoy tho! 🫶🫶

You adored Viktor greatly, for to you there was not a man who could match his brilliance and his resilience, his determination to see everything that he’s put his whole heart and soul into this hextech project through. Everything about him was enticing to you from his dream to better the lives of others, the twinkle in his amber eyes when he had made a scientific breakthrough, not to mention the way he became more animated and eager to talk as he spoke about it; he sounded more alive then ever before which you loved for him.

However what once brought you happiness would eventually become your downfall for as of recent memories as tensions between Piltover and Zaun heightened to a dangerous degree, Viktor had more or less had secluded himself to the lab from the early hours of the morning, rarely to come out for anything or anyone. Gone were the days where you’d see him in the hallways of the academy, blessing you with his beautiful smile as his amber eyes only seemed to glow within your presence in familiarity, offering a short greeting in passing but the recognition of your existence by him was more then a full length conversation with him would have given you.

He left your peripheral vision with nothing to remind you of moment, nothing but a flutter within your chest that’s warm and suffocating as the same time. Now you were left disappointed to ever think that you could recapture that moment again, such like a love sick individual who was detached from all forms of reality that didn’t have him in it. Times were changing and not for the better, for everyone was on edge with what was to come and the tension was so thick you could cut into it with a knife and anticipation hung heavy over everyone, dreadfully awaiting an attack with baited breath and clenched fists in an attempt of bravery in the face of adversity.

Gone were the brief glimpses you’d get of him from the corner of your eyes, leaving you to believe whether or not you did in fact see him or just someone who wore similar clothing. You’d sometimes catch him in the act of waving at you when he was in a hurry or -when he had time to spare- even making himself welcome to the unoccupied seat besides you in the library, looking over your mountain of books with a raised brow and sarcasm upon his lips.

‘You planning to read them all in one go or?’ He’d say, making you scoff as a smile blossomed across your face as you looked into his eyes, finding that they were already on you.

‘Yeah because that’s a completely plausible thing for a person with a simple mind could accomplish.’ You replied with your own form of sarcasm as your smile widens at the sound of his laugh, gladly to have made such a heavenly sound emerge from his mouth. You two would remain in those same seats until it was time to part ways once again, bidding each other farewells as the days drew to a close and you’d leave for home when Viktor would stay overtime in his lab.

Now you don’t see him at all. Your head would perk up at the sound your mind has made you believe was the soft love tap of a cane against wooded floor, only to have your heart clench and mind belittling you when it wasn’t anywhere near Viktor coming into the library but someone else entirely. You were left with a table littered with books and an empty seat besides you, now cold and devoid of the man who’d always sit there and let his thoughts flow freely and bluntly out of his mouth, and yet you’d much prefer that over the deafening silence that greeted you for the past months as the realisation of how cold and miserable you were without Viktor to make your day complete.

You use to frequent the lab more so then your own office just to see Viktor in the past. So much so that Viktor had left a spare chair by his workbench for you to sit on, letting you linger as he worked and never uttering a single word as you were too entranced by the ways his fingers moved and how his facial expressions fluidly moved from one another, it almost like they were telling a silent story of his emotions of his successes and failures within the project. From the highs and lows, the triumphs of learning something new, to the challenges that left dark bags under his eyes from all the late nighters he’s been pulling to at least achieve something in the midst of all the chaos.

Now the warmth that once filled you as you entered the lab felt cold, like you were intruding on something you shouldn’t have. Your once place of refuge had become a place you didn’t recognise as you immediately noticed the lack of the chair you once sat on, it’s location wasn’t a concern of yours more so than the ache within your heart at the seemingly small act. However for such an act as small as removing a spare chair from a workbench you felt as though this was a sign that your presence was no longer a welcomed one; you had become a distraction and in the worse kind to Viktor, and thus your chair had been taken away, signifying that those warm days of human connection had long since overstayed it’s welcome.

‘Viktor?’ You called out but not once did he show signs of recognition towards your voice nor bothered to look up from his work that meant so much to him nowadays. You didn’t know which hurt more, the lack of response or the idea that you were nowhere as dear to his heart as he was to yours at all, however you still smiled through the ache within your chest in hopes that it was just a delayed response on his part.

Nothing. Viktor didn’t even make an attempt to speak to you and just continued being hunched over his workbench with no intention on stopping, acting as though you were merely just a breeze that passed him by and not a human being he was once close to, begging him to acknowledge you and acknowledge the history between the two of you.

‘How long have you been cooped up in here like a little hermit.’ You tried to attempt a joke that only felt awkward and painful when the Viktor didn’t make a sarcastic quip back towards you. He left you in silence once again as you felt your hope slowly start to die within your chest and your smile began to fade from your lips as your resolve began to waver. You swallows thickly as you tired not to let this get to you and instead believe that he couldn’t hear you, and so you walked closer to him until you rested a hand upon his shoulder, making him stop working for a moment before going back to what he was doing soon after.

‘How long has it been since you slept, eaten anything, or just get some fresh air?’ You asked with concern towards his health and how it seemed that he was driving himself down into the ground for academic validation for his work. ‘Why don’t you take a break and take some time away from-‘

‘Not everyone has the luxury of time on their hands.’ Viktor cuts you off but not in the way you’d hope. His words cut through you, making you flinch away from him from the bitter tone that came from him as though he burnt you. ‘They need help now and I won’t allow any further distractions to hinder me from doing so.’ He adds and it obviously felt very pointed towards you as if you were the problem he now faced and you couldn’t help but get a little upset over this.

‘And kill yourself in the process? Who’s going to help them when you’re dead Viktor because it’s sure as hell not me!’ You bit back as you moved back towards the door, finding no point in standing by his side if he was so willing to discard you like you were nothing in the pursuits of science. ‘I’m not going to stand here and watch you lose yourself to your work, I won’t do it.’ You add with certainty but it’s Viktor’s next words that really hurt you despite the softness of his voice, now was sharp as ice and just as piercing.

‘Then don’t bother darkening my door any longer than you already have.’

You stiffened up at this as you felt your heart tore itself in half at the unnecessary hostility thrown towards you as the rift between the two of you had finally made itself known in this moment. The closeness you once shared with Viktor was now an illusion you fell for so willingly, all with the hopes that something more would come from it one day, much like the hopeless romantic that you truly were. However in this moment it was revealed that none of that mattered to him, not as much as it did to you and just as you were about to leave the lab, you looked over at his back and said;

‘Goodbye Viktor. I promise to never be an inconvenience to you ever again since that’s what you wish for.’ And without needing to hear him, you walked out of the lab, shutting the door behind you as you walked down the hall as silent tears fell from your cheeks as you kissed goodbye the one good thing you had left to keep your head above water; however without it you could feel yourself slipping beneath the waves that had threatened to crash over you for a long, long time as you had lost your anchor and you have the angry to care what happens to you.

…

Everything that happened in a matter of seconds. Too fast for anyone to notice what was going on before it was too late and a wave of pain greeted you as you blacked out.

The council was attacked and all signs pointed towards Zaun as the perpetrators.

Viktor was lucky enough to have somehow miraculously survive with the help of the hexcore but you on the other hand were left in a coma from the explosion. All Viktor knew when he came through in his new body was the news that you had could’ve died had you been just a tiny bit closer to bear the brunt of the unforeseen attack. The doctors were overlooking your possibilities of awaking from the coma, they claim that chances of that happening were slim but they believed that you were strong enough to pull through it, not that any of this mattered to Viktor as for all he was aware was that even if you did awake he’d be the last person you wanted to ever see.

He was told that upon being rescued from the rubble you looked like you had already died with the amounts of deep gashes that littered across your face, he got told that you didn’t even look like you were breathing at all, but you looked oddly at peace with the outcome of such a tragedy; as though you were silently suffering inside your own head for a long time and this was you gladly accepting the fate bestowed upon you.

Viktor didn’t know what hurt more, the fact that you could’ve died, or the idea that you were more then willing to have died in the attack then wake in a reality where he had all but pushed you aside. He couldn’t blame you for not wanting anything to do with him anymore, not after trying so hard to get through to him in the past, only for him to retaliate with words that you didn’t deserve. You had every right to never allow him into your life ever again, Viktor didn’t feel he was deserving of a second chance with you, especially not after something as traumatic as almost dying.

Now upon retrospect it would’ve been morbidly poetic had he did die in the attack, his hand reaching towards your own but never truly touching, a reminder that he had severed that connection with you the moment more was demanded of him and of hextech; A once beloved and respected connection that’ll never mend for the damage was already done due to his own hubris.

You deserved more then him and Viktor knew this painfully well enough to continue to drive the wedge between the two of you, all in hopes that you too would see that you were better off in search of something new with someone else, and yet he couldn’t help but cling onto you for himself so selfishly as though he wasn’t the one who caused you pain in favour of staying within the lab to his own devices. Viktor knew he was being ridiculous and he would only be hurting you in the process with his indecision of whether to keep you close by his side, or as far away from him as possible.

Yet everything within him told him to at least visit you, just to be certain that you would be strong enough to emerge from the coma, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that despite how much he wished to see you recover much like you had been bedside for him when his health declined sharply. Viktor remembered the day clear as day as the concern within your eyes shone, and the grip you had on his hand tightened every so often with every inhale and exhale, you didn’t say a single word but you didn’t half to as viktor has taught himself to read you better then most. It was clear that you were afraid but didn’t have the heart to speak up on it, and now he was face with a similar situation.

You were the ache in his heart that he couldn’t be rid of, no matter how much change his body went through, not that he wanted to either and Viktor knew he was the ache within your heart. You two pained each other with your absences, comforted each other’s overthinking minds and gave each other the company you so needed. You needed each other but didn’t at the same time, it was a never ending game with yourself and Viktor as you didn’t know whether to get close to one another or keep the distance between you and pretend that you’re both not hurting when you were.

However Viktor may regret the words he had spoken to you, it doesn’t change fate in the slightest, he was with his commune in the Undercity and you were still in that coma you should’ve awoken from weeks ago. Yet now and then Viktor would find himself looking to his side where he would normally feel you, only to see nothing but thin air and close his eyes as he took a deep breath to compose himself. He regrets everything he said to you but they wouldn’t change the hurt you were both suffering from, Viktor wanted you by his side in that moment but knew he’s better off wishing for that in another life, a life where he chose you.

Now he’ll get to know how sweet that life would be like and the ache within the remains of his heart hurt just that little more, for you, the ache within his him that he couldn’t get rid of but needed all the same to remind himself that he was still the Viktor you once loved.

[d3stinyist1red]

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ɢʏᴍ ʀᴀᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

yan gym rat who first knows you bc you helped him with lifting, back when he was a lanky dude who had only football as motivation

yan gym rat who is now buff asf and is the football quarter back, now using u as motivation

yan gym rat who goes to your school and tries so hard to start convo with you, even tho hes popular, hes too nervous to even ask u for a pencil

yan gym rat who has the BIGGEST FATTEST crush on u, fangirling over you whenever he sees you at the gym, pratically foaming at the mouth

yan gym rat who finally gains the courage to talk to you and become your wife friend,

"H-Hi!" He says as he walks up to you, you stopped midway from doing a pull-up, looking at him curiously. "I-I..er..I saw you at sc-school and at the g-gym often, and wondered...If you wanted to be friends?" He said as he looked at you shyly.

You got down, and smiled at his shy figure. "Yeah sure! Wait whats your name?"

yan gym rat who became your friend after that, visiting the gym every time you did so he could see you.

yan gym rat who is a nervous wreck whenever you talk to him, his palms get sweaty. When you talks to him, his brain turns to mush. He wants to say something smooth or cool to impress you, but instead, he just nods a lot, stutters and mumbles things like, “Ye-yeah, totally” or “For sure.” Inside, he’s panicking because he thinks he sounds so awkward.

yan gym rat who wants to text you 24/7, to js tell you about his day and shit ,but he drafts the message like 10 times, deleting it each time because he’s worried about coming off too eager or clingy.

yan gym rat who literally cries whenever you text even a lil dry to his messages, thinking you don't wanna talk to him and that he should throw himself off a cliff for bothering you

yan gym rat who bites his nails and picks at his skin whever you talk about someone else to him, scowling the whole time,

yan gym rat who wants you manhandle him and use your strength against him, wanting your soft hands around his throat as his tongue lolls out his mouth

yan gym rat who whenever someone tells him

"oh yeah, and I talked to y/n today, she was pretty chil-"

"did she talk about me?! Did she look at the ceiling? What was she wearing? Did her eyes direct to the ground?" He needs to know every detail.

yan gym rat who compliments you so so much that it makes ur ego bigger day by day

"Ur a-arms are so big, so strong.."He says as his hands trail down your arms, hearts in his eyes as he stares deeply at your body. His hands then went to your abs, drooling as he rubs them

yan gym rat who sometimes, his jealousy comes out in a passive-aggressive way. If your too focused on talking about someone else during your guys workout, he’ll lift heavier weights or push himself harder, just to show off.

"Yeah? Does that asshole also lift as much as me? Has that asshole tried kissing your abs before like I have? Has that dickhead made a whole fanpage about you like I have?!" He says as he glares at you as you tilt your head.

"Im talking about the lunch lady??"

yan gym rat who is ur gym buddy who luvs u so so much<33

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙you want me to? | LS2˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: logan sargeant x james vowles assistant!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: just fluff!!!! i loveee this plot hehe

summary: in which your new job facilitates you in finding new love

a/n: i love this request & i luv writing for logan !!! not sure if i executed it super well tho let me know what you think 💘 my recent emojie now is just: 🇺🇸🦅

request!!!: May I suggest a Logan Sargeant x James Vowles assistant! Reader? Like her job is to get the boys stuff they might need and to like help out around the paddock and Logan keeps asking her to get him stuff as an excuse to talk to her. And people start to notice when Alex and James start lightly making fun of them in interviews and stuff. Just think it would be funny

my masterlist

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 188,274 others

yoursername shit's weird

view all 4,183 comments

lilymhe PRETTY GIRLLL

yourusername 💞💞💞

logansargeant heyyyy

*comment deleted by logansargeant*

logansargeant hope ur not calling me weird

yourusername jury's out

alex_albon yes queen

yourusername werkkk btch

user1 who is she??

user2 james vowles new assistant

user3 logan is in love with her i can already tell

yoursister proud of you!

liked by yourusername

yourusername posted a story

liked by alex_albon, logansargeant, and 58,173 others

alex_albon the boss in question is...logan sargeant?

yourusername he's a growing boy !

lilymhe lol, logan?

yourusername almost everytime!

lilymhe aww he just wants to see youuu

yourusername 😂

user4 i want her job

alex_albon posted a story

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and 308,134 others

user5 is that y/n

user6 who ???

lilymhe hahah he has the biggest crush on her

alex_albon & everyone knows it too

yourusername ALEX THIS SOUNDS SO MEAN LOL

alex_albon srry for bullying u

interview ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

lilymhe

liked by alex_albon, yourusername, and 527,193 others

lilymhe vibey

tagged: alex_albon, yourusername

view all 8,173 comments

user12 omg y/n in the last pic so cute

user13 omg i luv her she's fit into williams garage so perfectly

yourusername my best girl

alex_albon just for the record she is my girlfriend not yours ok?

yourusername & does she know that?

alex_albon i would hope so yes

lilymhe 🤔

alex_albon 😍

liked by lilymhe

logansargeant 😍

*comment deleted by logansargeant*

user14 did anyone else see logan's deleted comment

user15 yup i think james is right 😛

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 254,973 others

yourusername settling in!!!

view all 3,872 comments

logansargeant very nice pic of me thanks y/n

yourusername of course 😝

williamsracing we love u y/n 😍

yourusername 😘 u know how i feel about u

williamsracing 🤭

jv.f1 y/n stop flirting with the williams admin

yourusername srry 😳

user16 LOL not james telling her off

user17 y/n i didnt know i needed u in my life

oscarpiastri yup settling in i see 👀

yourusername what does this mean oscar

oscarpiastri no further comment

user18 she's gonna become a wag soon mark my words

messages ->

interview ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

alex_albon

liked by lilymhe, georgerussell63, and 692,273 others

alex_albon common williams W's

tagged: lilymhe, yourusername, logansargeant

view all 6,938 comments

user24 OMG hi y/n

user25 omg is y/n sharing an umbrella with lily

yourusername rahhh 🦅

alex_albon subtle 😜

lilymhe my girl tired of subtle

user26 omgggg

user27 something is happening i can feel it in my bones

user28 yea y/n & logan falling in luvvvv

logansargeant yea i look so cool and absolutely not awkward at all

alex_albon your awkwardness is all part of your american charm

logansargeant im blushing now thanks

user29 my fav williams era ever

yourusername posted a story

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 79,172 others

lilymhe i just choked on my tea ☕️

yourusername HAHAH ok but why did he say i dont like americans

lilymhe idk but he's so in love with you i can tell

yourusername 😭😭 dont say stuff like that

oscarpiastri you better be wearing clothes under that

yourusername oh no party pooper piastri is here!!!! the clothes police!!!

oscarpiastri ur the worst thing to happen to williams

yourusername ask logan what he thinks 😇

user30 omg this is crazy

user31 HELLO?????

user32 is this the most unsubtle indirect ever

messages ->

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

logansargeant posted a story

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and 284,293 others

alex_albon AHHHHHHHH

lilymhe omg it's happening

oscarpiastri finally

user37 omg they're dating they have to be

user38 THIS IS SOOO Y/N

user39 AHHH OMG

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 98,293 others

alex_albon TEXT ME BACK YOU HORRIBLE PEOPLE

lilymhe i need to know EVERYTHING

yourusername 🤭

user40 omg now it's REALLY confirmed

user41 my favourite thing ever

user42 SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS

user43 i want this

twitter ->

instagram ->

logansargeant

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 392,283 others

logansargeant i pulled a baddieee

tagged: yourusername

view all 9,283 comments

user49 omg omg omg

user50 best day of my life

oscarpiastri awww i feel bad for ever being mean to her now srry y/n

logansargeant when were u mean to her 😤

yourusername he's a bully logan

oscarpiastri nooo😨

alex_albon pls dont leave me out pls pls

yourusername NEVER EVER EVER

logansargeant how could we, u wouldnt let us

alex_albon 🤨

lilymhe DOUBLE DATE WHEN

yourusername omg yes yes yes

yourusername I LOVE YOU AHH 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

logansargeant i love you 🥰

jv.f1 you're welcome 👍

liked by logansargeant, yourusername, alex_albon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri

THE END 💙

[gavisfanta]

International student x Fermín

Reader and Fermín have been friends with benefits since she has to head home after the semester’s over but Fermín grows to have feelings for her and he confesses in the middle of sex. Something super teeth rotting, loads of fluff. Maybe Fer is a huge simp for the reader? If you’re comfy with this 😭

POLAND - FERMIN

summary: fermin will have to confess his feelings to you before you fo back to your home country or else its too late

a/n: not proofread, because again, I am lazy... sorry :D

warnings: smut, a lot.

It was simple at first.

"Sex only?" You asked while Fermin nodded his head.

"We're both too busy to maintain a relationship, so why not just agree to be sex buddies, besides that, you need to leave in 3 months. I mean we both enjoy the sex don't we?" Your eyes lit up at the suggestion. Your friendship was falling apart since weeks now. So you agreed.

You originally met him at the university in a class where you had to work on a project together. The connection between you two was felt immediately. He also was shocked that your Spanish was that good since you're from Poland, you only moved to Barcelona to study for a few years before moving there.

"And you're...?" Fermin pulled the chair next to you so he could sit down. You threw your hair behind your back after you looked at the fit blonde man next to you.

"Y/n" You couldn't help but smile at him.

"Beautiful name." He didn't try to hide that he was flirting, the smile and the way he turned to face you in his chair was so obvious. "I'm Fermin."

"Nice to meet you Fermin." You looked up at him, he was slightly taller than you while sitting.

"It's a pleasure for me. It's also a pleasure to be working with you, I'm sure we're gonna have a great time together." Fermin told you without paying attention to his surroundings.

"Mr López, enough of the flirting you have time for that in your free time." Your professor scolded him and you quickly turned your head the other way to laugh.

Fermin shook his head while looking down into his lap, trying to hide that smile that spread across his lips when you looked at him again.

-

Suddenly Fermin sat down next to you on the bench in front of the school. "What are your plans for next year?" Fermin avoided eye contact while you looked at him with a shocked expression.

"Um, hi?" You smiled at him while he finally looked at you. "I'm gonna move back home, I'm not from here."

"Wait, you're not spanish?" He turned his upper body towards you as his brows knit together. He raised his brows as you shook your head. "Your Spanish is incredibly good. Its fascinating almost, taking that you're not even Spanish." He stopped for a second while he looked away. "Where are you from?"

"Im from poland" You answered and he couldn't help but smile at your words.

"So you can talk to Lewandowski?" He laughed a bit while you just grinned at his words.

"If I ever meet Lewandowski I'll talk to him in polish, yeah." You laughed.

Fermin the smiled. "When I play in the first team with him, I'll make sure that you're gonna talk to him in polish."

-

"Are you free tonight or do you have to study?" Fermins face was visible on your phone as you held it infront of you. You were just taking a walk on the beach when the midfielder facetimed you. Fermin had to leave for practice in 10 minutes so he wanted to talk to you about his idea. Even tho his friends knew about the two of you hooking up, he hated to talk about that topic in front of them.

"I have to study, but I can maje some time, when do you get off practice?" You inhaled the fresh air coming from the ocean while your shoes kept sinking into the sand.

"Can I come over after practice? That gives you another six hours to study." Fermins lips grew inro a smile afyer he heard that one sigh that meant 'fine, you have convinced me'. And he was right. "Fine, but shower at the facilities, I dont want you using my shampoo ever again." You gwve him a strict look. The midfielder bit his lip whole he nodded.

"I will, see you later." Fermin looked at you and the blue sky behind you. "Bye" You gwve him a small smile and then hung up the phone. After his face disappeared from the display, your airpods started playing runaway by Kanye West again, the midfielder calling you had paused the music on your phone. You inhaled sharply and then went on with your day.

-

"Hey babe!" Fermins voice echoed through the hallway right after the door slammed shut.

"I told you to stop calling me that." You sung without even taking your eyes off of the papers infront of you.

"Hey Sexbuddy, does that sound better?" Fermin was standing behind you, his presence made you feel hot immediately.

"No, that just makes me sound like an object." Eyes scanning across your notes whike you talked to the midfielder.

"Babe it is then." Fermin leaned down to your neck, his hit breath against your skin gave you shivers. You sighed and then turned in your chair so that you could face him. You looked at him for a couple of seconds before turning around again and going back to your studies. He then put both of his hands on your shoulders and you exhaled deeply.

"I don't see you for 5 days and your shoulders are this bad? You really need to relax a bit more." Fermin told you and started to massage your shoulders. You threw your head back as his string hands started to enlighten the tension from your muscles.

"I know babe, my hands work wonders." Fermin whispered into your ear and you couldnt help but smile. Then you stood up and stood proud infront of him, hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and shoulders pushed back. His hands slid from your shoulders to your waist, his big hands burning your skin with his hot touch. You were wearing a grey crop top with some black joggers.

You both knew why he was there, neither of you ever met up before to just talk with eachother. Maybe after sex he stayed sometimes but never just a normal meetup between the two of you.

"Let's go upstairs yeah?" You took Fermins right hand off of your body and interlocked your fingers with his. His lips curled up into a smile while he followed you up the staircase, his hand never leaving yours.

As soon as the two of you entered the bedroom, you closed the door and shut it behind yourself while Fermin shoved you against the door and crushed his lips into yours forcefully. Hot breaths were exchanged during the kiss and while Fermins hand slipped below the waistband of your joggers.

He then slipped them off then leaned down to grab your exposed tighs and lifted you up.

Your legs wrapped around his waist almost naturally and your lips never leaving his while your hands wrapped around his neck.

Eventually he walked you over to your bed and leaned over you, his hands sliding underneath the crop top and pulling it over your head. That left you only in your underwear.

"Take off your clothes Fer." You started pulling at the hem of his shirt until he chuckled and took off his clothes.

"Needy much princesa?" Fermin who was only in his boxers leaned over you again. The temple in his boxers was so obviously visible as you looked down at his abs.

"You could say that-" You then put your hands behind yourself and unclipped your bra, pulling it off your arms. His gaze shifted from your eye to your tits, a smirk made its way to his lips.

"But what if you find out instead?" You pulled off your panties too.

Fermin has never pulled down his boxers that fast as he did that time. His dick jumping out of the white fabric material, tip red and pre cum glistening over it. He pumped his hand uo and down a couple of times while he put your left leg over his shoulder. Your pussy was on display for jim.

"You're so wet." He mumbled as he licked his fingers and spread it along your folds. You were too much of a mess fo answer him, so thats why you nearly screamed when you felt his tip enter you, and slowly he was fully inside of you. You threw your head back and arched your back off the bed towards him. No matter how many times you slept with him, you couldn't get enough of him once he was inside of you.

"Are you okay?" Fermin groaned and you nodded, your heavy breathing made him worry a bit.

You nodded, and as he began thrusting in and out of you, you closed your eyes. The room was filled with noises of skin slapping, his low groans and your moans.

"You're amazing" Fermin hid his head in the crook of your neck. His hot breaths burning against your sweaty skin.

You shut your eyes as he hit a spot that made you drop your jaw. Fermin noticed that he hit the right spot and kept hitting it, soon the warm feeling in your stomach started to build up. The aching feeling in your legs got worse as he grabbed both of them and put them over his shoulders, allowing him to reach even deeper inside of you.

Just after a few seconds his rhythm became uneven and you knew he was about to come. And just a few seconds later Fermin came and you felt his load filling you up.

He was panting heavily as he then made you finish too just a couple of minutes later.

"Are you okay?" He asked you after the sex.

"Yeah" You answered shortly, a small smile decorating your lips as you were still in shock of how good it was, once again.

"Good." Fermin said and then kissed your cheek.

-

"Hermano where were you yesterday?" Gavi walked up to Fermin in the dressing room the next day. The blonde midfielder jumped a little, he feared seeing Gavi that day.

Gavi had called him the previous day and texted him a lot of times. Fermin however didn't pick up because he was busy seeing you.

That wasn't the first time it had happened that Fermin didn't pick up or answer his phone because he was seeing you. That was exactly why Gavi knew what his friend was up to.

"At home." Fermin told Gavi in a nervous tone, he tried to hide it as much as he could from the younger midfielder but it was impossible.

"You were with Y/n weren't you?" Gavi sighed and looked away for a second before looking back at Fermin. "Listen you need to tell her that you have feelings for her."

Gavi's words made Fermins hair stand up straight, it almost gave him shivers. He was well known to the fact that he may or may have not caught real romantic feelings for you, but nobody had ever told him to confront you about them.

"I can't, you know that. What we have is just sex, we agreed on that." Fermin answered shortly and then turned back to the shirt he wanted to pull over his head.

"Your time is running out, how long until she leaves?" Gavi stood in that one spot while his friend kept changing his clothes.

"2 months." Fermin answered and avoided eye contact.

"You need to tell her as soon as possible." Gavi gave him a serious look before he turned around and made his way to his locker.

"mhm"

-

"Are you busy?" Fermin asked while you just walked into the locker room at the gym you were going to. A deep sigh escaped your lips as your chest was still rising up and down at a bit of a faster pace.

"I'm at the gym rn, I just got done." Taking the dark blue towel you always had with you and drying off the sweat off your forehead, Fermin smiled on the other end of the phone.

"I'll pick you up and we'll go back to your place, is that good?" Fermin asked.

"Yeah, just hurry, and I'll need to take a shower when we're there." You explained while already grabbing your hoodie so that youre not walking around with a sports bra only.

"Perfect me too, see you soon." Fermin hung up the phone with a wide smile. You on the other hand wasn't so smiley. So when Fermins car stopped at the side of the road and you were able to get in, he notoced immediately that you were in a bad mood.

He leaned over the center console and pressed a kiss on your lips, your eyes immediately widened and you pulled away from him.

"What are you doing?" You raised your voice a little as you looked at him shocked. Fermins smile had faded and he just loomed at you, confused while hie mouth was slightl open.

"I kissed you" Fermin tried to justify himself and he began to drive while you grabbed the seatbelt.

"Why here, do you want anyone to see? Do you want the media to know that we're fuck buddies?" You asked, Fermin just stayed quiet while he focused on ths road and listened to you. He knew that you were right but it still hurt him a bit.

So he mumbled a quiet "Sorry" and you scoffed while pulling out your phone.

Fermin on the other hand was biting down on his tongue while he really tried to keep his mouth shut. He just got the confirmation that you would never want to be his girlfriend, you dont wanna be seen with him.

So he stayed quiet, until he parked down the car in front of your apartment. "So you're still down to fuck?" Fermin asked, speaking way too fast but confident while he looked at you, brows knit together.

As soon as you heard his tone you turned your head confused. "Are you seriously mad now?" Your brows were raised and the midfielder scoffed while shaking his head and turning off the car.

"Let's go inside, since you don't wanna be seen with me anyways." Fermin mumbled as he opened the door, it was difficult for you to understand the last part because he had already stepped out of the car.

"Fer, come on" you walked a bit faster so you could catch up with him, he walked to your apartment and unlocked the door with his key. Then he turned around as soon as you closed the door.

"So you still wanna get laid? I see." Fermin nodded without even trying to hear you out. You tried to speak up multiple times but he always just answered with "no" and cut you off, until you had enough.

"Could you just shut the fuck up for a second and hear me out?" Your voice loud, it made Fermin shut his mouth immediately, he now looked at you with raised brows and big eyes. "i never said I dont wanna be seen with you, I said I dont want people to find out that we're hooking up. That's only for you, because you know how everyone is, they'll say stuff like youre distracted by me and all of that. I don't like you kissing me in public for your careers sake." You spoke way too fast which left you with a lack of air after everything you said.

Fermins mouth was hanging slightly open and he was speechless, he felt like an idiot. Not hearing you out when what you did was completely right, you were right. Now the regret washed over him and he buried his face in his hands.

He lifted his head again as he mumbled a quiet "Sorry" while looking into your eyes with all honesty. "I'm so sorry, you're right." Fermin told you again, this time you didn't just stand there, taking a step closer to him, you wrapped your arms around him and rested your head against his body.

He also put his arms around you and immediately he felt safe, he felt like everything in the world was okay again. That was when his eyes widened, however you didn't notice that. The truth was, Fermin was scared of his feelings, of his romantical feelings towards you.

He didn't want to fall in love with his sex buddy, what was even worse that you were leaving soon.

You pulled him back from his thought as you looked up at him due to him being slightly taller. "I still wanna get laid tho." A smile displayed on your lips while Fermin was looking back at you with an even bigger one.

Before he however did anything, he leaned closer to you and carefully put his lips onto yours. His hands pulling your hips closer and for the first time, the kiss you two shared wasn't rushed, wasn't contained only of moans and heavy breaths, nothing sexual, just you two sharing a kiss.

Then you pulled away and then slowly started backing up into your bedroom, laying down on the bed, you took off your shirt. You smiled as he walked even closer to you.

"Hey it's 'The Best Sex You've Ever Had' what can I get you?" Fermin moved up his hand to his ear and pretended to talk into a microphone.

"I think I'd enjoy missionary," You smiled cheekily and Fermin nodded his head. He pulled his shirt off and after you both were naked, he got on top of you, admiring your body while he teased your entrance with his tip.

You threw your head back as he pushed inside you and you felt his dick twitch against your walls.

Then he slowly began to pull out and push in again. He repeated that for a whole while and eventually also added to your overstimulation by rubbing your clit. You both came at the same time and Fermin collapsed on top of you. Howver you convinced him that it's totally fine to do another round. So he oushed inside of yiu again, it didn't take long for him to feel on edge. "I'm about to come." He groaned while closing his eyes shut.

"Come inside me Fermin." You told him to which he just responded with a low and silent groan.

"Fuck, I love you" Fermin whispered without thinking and suddenly you immediately stopped moaning and looked at him still pumping his dick in and out of you.

"What?" You asked and took Fermins jaw to make him look up at you. He stopped his movements and looked up at you.

"What did you say?" Your voice sounding unsure, in that second Fermin realised what he said and his eyes widened.

"Nothing" He tried to ignore you and went back to thrusting inside of you, harder and faster this time but you stopped him again.

"Fermin stop, talk to me." You told him and he immediately stopped again. "What did you say?"

"Nothing"

"Shit Fermin I know you said I love you." You told him while you sat up and pulled a blanket over your legs.

Fermin opened his mouth but no words came out. He had to think everything he wanted to say through. "I don't know why, it's just- its just everytime I look at you I get this funny feeling." He explained, while the only thing you did was cover your mouth with your hand and look to the side.

"Fer we agreed to sex onl-" You began but he cut you off.

"Obviously we did, do you think I chose to fall inlove with you when you're literally leaving for Poland soon?" Fermin raised his voice a bit which made you look back at him.

"I don't know what to say honestly." You shrugged your shoulders and then looked away again.

"Listen I-" This time you cut off Fermin.

"I think you should go home." You told him and Fermins mouth opened slightly. He looked away for a second before making eye contact with you again.

"But-" He began but then stopped mid sentence. "Okay, I'll see you later." He gave you a faint smile while he grabbed his things and went towards the door. You flashed him an awkward smile and then watched him leave the bedroom.

THE NEXT DAY

"You have to tell him that you like him too." Luca whispered to you and you raised your head immediately to cover up his mouth with your hand.

"Are you mentally alright? Don't say that when he's right across the room?!" You whispered back aggressively and he laughed a little bit.

"Why won't you tell him though, you got the conformation that he loves you back." Luca still tried to convince you ans eventually you released an annoyed sigh.

"I'm afraid to start something with him that I cannot finish if I have to go back to Poland soon" You said and Luca furrowed his brows while he thought of a solution.

"Just stay here then" He shrugged his shoulders as he suggested. Your eyes widened and you gave him a look.

"You think its that easy? I dont have the money to live here, let alone afford something anywhere in the world." You admitted to which Luca reacted with a smile.

"Ask him to stay at his place until you can afford your own." Your classmate turned his head to face you and you looked back at him.

"You're not completely sane, I'm telling you." You mumbled while shaking your head, he laughed a little bit at your words.

You sighed deeply and then looked at Fermin across the classroom who was writing something on his paper. "I will talk to him."

"Hey Fer," Fermin turned around as soon as he heard you call his name. "can we talk?" You asked.

"Yeah, what's up" Fermin seemed closed off to you, he was even a bit awkward when talking to you.

"Can we go back to your place maybe? Just somewhere private." You suggested and he quickly nodded, then he turned around and you both got into his car. This is not the first time people from uni see you getting into Fermins car.

The drive to his place was quiet, awkward and uncomfortable. Not only for you but for him too. So when you arrived at his place, immediately you went inside and sat down on his couch. You weren't at his place that often because he preferred to stay at yours rather than at his.

So when he sat down next to you, you let out a heavy sight but he cut you off before you were able to even begin talking.

"I'm sorry, I know falling in love with you was a mistake when we agreed to only have sex, but you're so-" Fermin rushed his words until you said something.

"I love you too." Fermin however ignored you and kept talking.

" but you're so loveable and you always make me smile and- wait... what?" Fermin realized what you just told him, you wore a cheeky smile on your lips as his jaw dropped.

"You love me too?" He questioned to which you responded with a nod. "You love me too!" He jumped up in joy and opened up his arms. You smiled while standing up and hugging him back. He kept swinging with you in his arms from side to side and you couldn't help but smile.

"That means I can't let you go back to Poland." Fermin pulled back by an inch to look at you.

"If you'll ask me to, I'll never visit Poland again."

[narryffdreaming]

lia and harry's story (four - ii)

summary: harry is a bartender and lia lives right across the street. rating: +18 || warnings: mental health (anxiety) and smut word count: 6,3k

(ONE) | (TWO) | (THREE) | (FOUR - I)

Harry replied after sixty-four slow and agonizing minutes. 

(11:02 pm) Harry: hey babe (11:02 pm) Harry: im downstairs 

(11:02 pm) What? (11:03 pm) Right now?

(11:03 pm) Harry: yeah (11:03 pm) Harry: can you open the door for me?  (11:04 pm) Harry: please?

By the time Lia read the last message, she was already buzzing him in. 

She put her phone aside and opened her apartment door, then stepped outside to wait for him in the hallway. 

She wasn’t expecting to have a face-to-face conversation. At least not so soon. Not right then. She figured they’d text a little before seeing each other, or… 

Well, to be completely honest, she wasn’t so sure what she was expecting would happen. But he had called her babe, so that was a good sign… 

Right?

Lia sighed. The palms of her hands were sweating, and she rubbed them on her thighs, then crossed her arms under her chest.

Things were quiet in her building. Silent. So it was easy to hear him as he made it to her floor. 

And then, when she finally saw him, her heart instantly sped up. He was wearing his usual black pants, a black t-shirt, and a cardigan. On the other hand, he looked tired, not carrying his usual cheerfulness and excitement. His hair disheveled, his jaw all tense. And Lia didn’t like that. 

She really didn’t like that. 

She tightened her arms around her and shuffled on her feet, and Harry lifted his gaze from the steps to her face.

As soon as their eyes met, he curled his mouth into the softest smile, then pulled his curls back and away from his forehead. 

“Hi,” he murmured, gradually shortening the distance between them. 

Lia took a step closer, too, and dropped her arms to her sides. 

“Hi…”

Harry frowned.

He stopped in front of her and took his hands to her face, cradling her cheeks. Lia tilted her chin up and wrapped her fingers around his wrists, meeting his stare. 

“Were you crying?” he asked.

She blinked, flickering her eyes between his.

“Maybe? Kinda?”

“Hmm…” He furrowed his brows a little deeper, and rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs. “What’s ‘kinda crying’ supposed to look like?”

“I think… It’s when you were crying… But you don’t want to admit it?” 

His face softened, and he curved his mouth up. Pulling her face closer, he pressed his lips to her forehead and kissed her gently, then pulled away and searched for her eyes again.

“We need to talk,” he said, “and we will. But what was up with your texts? Did you really think there was a chance I wouldn’t want to see you?”

“I—I don’t know? I mean… I didn’t want to just assume…”

“Why wouldn’t I, tho?”

Lia shrugged. 

“You were mad this morning.”

Harry sighed. “I wasn’t mad, Lee, I was upset… It’s different.”

“Oh…” She brushed her thumbs on his wrists, and nodded. “Well, I mean… Still… I’m sorry… Y’know, for upsetting you.”

“I know. It’s okay. I could’ve handled it better, so I’m sorry, too.”

“You handle everything way better than I do, so…”

Harry chuckled. 

“You give me too much credit.” He pulled her closer, embracing her shoulders into a hug. “And yourself too little.”

She circled his waist with both arms and rested her cheek against his chest, aware that she didn’t have an answer for that and trying to find something else she could say.

Harry beat her to it, though.

“Why were you crying?” 

“I just… I didn’t like how we left things this morning.” 

“Yeah… Me neither. Let’s not do that again, yeah?”

Lia smiled. “Okay.”

“And also,” he said, resting his chin on the top of her head, “I might not always handle things very well in the moment, but I don’t want you to feel like we can’t talk about things, ok? I would never just… Disappear. Or anything like that.”

Lia nodded, and sighed. 

“Yeah, I… I know, I know. I freaked out but… Yeah, you’re right. I know you wouldn’t.”

Harry pulled away from their hug with a smile on his face. 

“Good. And please don’t ever be so formal with me again because that freaked the shit out of me.”

“Yeah…” Lia laughed. “It felt weird after I sent them.”

“I’m glad you did, though. I’m glad you reached out.”

“Me too.” 

“Now,” he said, once again cradling her cheeks and taking a step forward, carefully guiding her inside. “I gotta go back to the bar, but can we meet tomorrow to talk?”

Lia nodded, following his movements and walking backwards while still holding onto his waist. “Yeah, of course.”

“Ok. And can I kiss you a little before I go?” he asked, already leaning down and brushing his lips with hers. “Have something to think about while I miss you in the middle of the night?”

Lia nodded again, breathing him in.

“Good.” He stopped walking, and lifted his foot to kick the door closed. “C’mere, then.”

Lia wasn’t the jealous type of girl. 

Insecure? Sure. 

Jealous? No. 

At least she didn’t think she was. During the five years dating Cole, she’d never worried about— 

Okay, maybe her last boyfriend wasn’t the best example. 

And maybe thinking about him wasn’t a smart move. 

She couldn’t help it, though. At the end of the day, Cole wasn’t just her last boyfriend — he was the only boyfriend she’d ever had. And a pretty serious one. 

The only long-term relationship she had experienced, and therefore the only one she could base herself on. 

So, yes, she shouldn’t think about him, but thanks to everything that she had gone through with Cole, Lia knew she wasn’t jealous. 

She was insecure, but not jealous. 

She just wasn’t. 

Not until the next Friday night, at least, when she was walking back home from the grocery store and saw Harry outside the bar talking to someone. 

Talking to a girl. 

And the world around her simply… Stopped. In a different way. In a new way. 

In a worried, scared way.

Mostly because things between her and Harry were still weird after that Tuesday morning. 

They’d talked, yes, and they’d made up, yes, but things were still… Weird. Probably because none of them had mentioned the elephant in the room — which meant they had talked about how Lia hadn’t accepted Harry’s offer to drive her to work and how it’d hurt his feelings, but they hadn’t talked about the fact that Lia hadn’t accepted any offer about anything yet. 

Including going to the bar.

Which she still hadn’t done it.

Lia still hadn’t gone to the bar. 

Even though he’d invited her. 

Multiple times. 

And then it was Friday night and there he was, leaning against the wall of the bar, wearing his usual black pants, black t-shirt, and black cardigan. Arms crossed while looking at his feet.

And next to him, there was a girl. A girl that kept moving her hands while talking excitedly to him. Her clothes reminded Lia of things Jillie would wear back when they were in college — a golden slinky top with a (very) low front cut, paired with a tight leather skirt and black heels. 

Lia couldn’t imagine herself wearing anything even slightly similar to that, and it didn’t seem to match the cold weather at all, but the girl was dressed in what many would consider a perfect outfit for a Friday night out. And, to be honest, she looked pretty. Really pretty.

Prettier than Lia had ever looked. Or felt.

And it occurred to her, right then and there, how she’d never worried about losing Harry to someone he could meet at The Wandering Triplet. She’d been so focused on protecting what they had inside their little and private bubble, that she hadn’t thought about girls he could meet while spending time at work. Girls who could be funnier than her, prettier than her, more confident than her. Girls who would keep him company at the bar, and wouldn’t give a single damn about who would see them together or not. Girls who wouldn’t wait for an invitation to be on their way to see him. To be with him.

Girls like the one across the street, or like the woman she’d seen with him so long ago. 

Girls who were nothing like her.

Why was Harry even wasting his time with her?! 

��Lia, hey!”

Lia jolted, stopping on her track. 

Of course he’d call her name. 

Of course he would make her feel seen, and prove her paranoid thoughts all wrong. 

Again.

Taking a deep breath in, she shook her head briefly, then focused her sight on him. 

Harry watched her with a smile on his face, arms dropped by his side. 

And Lia’s mouth twitched. 

Damn. 

The girl next to him faced Lia as well, but Lia tried not to look at her. She didn’t want to freak out. Feeling nervous because of Harry was already too much, she didn’t need to add any other insecurities on top of it and make herself feel even worse.

“Hii,” Harry said.  

“Hey.” Lia waved — yes, she waved. Because, well, what else was she supposed to do? Was she supposed to walk to him? Cross the street? Keep walking and go home?

Harry opened his arms and wiggled his fingers — giving her the answer she was looking for without even hearing the question.

“Come here!”

She tightened the grip of her fingers around the single grocery bag and nodded, then walked towards them — towards him. Aware that each step she took, each thump of her heart got louder and heavier inside her chest. And that the closer she got, the higher it raised to her throat. 

Things only calmed down when she reached the sidewalk and Harry smiled even wider, then embraced her shoulders in a warm hug. 

“Hiii babe,” he said. 

Lia accepted it with a quiet sigh, timidly circling his waist with her free arm. “Hi…”

Harry pulled away, but kept his arms around her neck and their bodies close together.

“Where were you?” He dipped his chin down and looked inside of her eyes, curling his lips into such an affectionate smile that it caused her belly to flutter. Damn you, Harry. “Went over to yours just minutes ago.”

“Oh.” She smiled, too, not able to hold it back. It was easy to forget the rest of the world when it was only the two of them. “I just went to get some pizzas for later. And ice cream.”

“Hmm.” He leaned his back completely against the wall, pulling her along with him. “What pizza did you get?”

Lia chuckled through her nose. “I got pepperoni for you, don’t worry.”

Harry’s smile grew wider. “Did you, huh?”

Standing between his feet, she tilted her chin up. “Yeah. It’s your favorite, isn’t it?”

“I guess it is.”

He chuckled lightly, and the happiness that radiated off him — through his eyes, through the wrinkles around them, through his grin and his dimples — brought happiness to her own chest. 

He was too good to be true. 

Definitely wayyyy too good to be true.

Next to them, the girl cleared her throat, and the sound brought Lia back to earth. She looked down to Harry’s throat, hoping he didn’t notice how her insides shriveled. 

Or maybe hoping he did. 

Either way, the only one who moved to look at the girl was him. 

“What?” he deadpanned. 

“I’m going back inside,” the girl said. 

“Ok?”

“I just… Thought I’d let you know.”

“Why? I didn’t ask.”

Damn, Harry.

Lia widened her eyes and looked up at him. 

He was frowning at the girl, and his rude attitude took Lia’s mind back in time, not too long ago, when she could only dream about being part of his life. 

The caring and affectionate version of Harry was one she didn’t get to experience until they actually got to know each other, and she had somehow forgotten how he used to close himself and be a completely different person unless he was around people he seemed to want to be around. Or around people he wanted to be nice to. Or something along those lines. 

And although Lia had many times wondered why he’d changed so suddenly with her, the truth is that she hadn’t seen that old version of Harry since the night she’d freaked out on him. And she also had never questioned him too much about it. 

Or maybe at all.

“Jesus Christ,” Harry breathed out, then pressed his forehead against hers. “She just wouldn’t stop talking.”

Lia dropped her shoulders and licked her lips. She hadn’t paid attention to the moment the girl had left, but she definitely wasn’t there anymore.

“Do you know her?”

“Fuck no.” He chuckled, humorlessly. “I don’t know why she decided to stay here.”

Lia snorted. “C’mon. You really don’t know why?”

“I mean… I certainly didn’t give her a reason to. I wasn’t even talking to her.”

“Hmm…” Pulling her head back, she took her free hand to the side of his face, reaching his ear and rearranging a few of his curls. His hair kept getting longer and longer, and she was loving it. “Why didn’t you go inside, then?”

“‘Cause I was waiting for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… Why do you sound so surprised?” He chuckled, tightening his arms around her neck and shrugging. “I’m on my break, told ya I went to see you and you weren’t home, so I waited for a bit.”

“That’s… Thank you, Harry.”

“C’mon, don’t thank me for that.” He brushed the tip of his nose with hers, from one side to the other, then up and down. Lia fluttered her eyes shut, and then, lowering his voice to a whisper, Harry asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Lia licked her lips, and nodded. 

He leaned in, then, pressing their mouths together in a short and soft kiss. 

A kiss that tasted like simplicity. Like easiness. Like home. 

A kiss that had her sighing into his mouth, and him squeezing her into his arms.

And a kiss that, when he finally pulled away, had her threading her fingers on the back of his head and smiling at him. 

“You taste salty,” she murmured.

Harry chuckled. “Thank you? Sorry? ‘M not sure what you meant by that.”

“Definitely a thank you.” She smiled. “Can I have another one?”

“As many as you want.”

Their next kiss was longer, but somehow even softer. As if they had all the time in the world, and nowhere else to be. Nowhere else to go.

After a while, though, and after a couple more kisses, Harry pulled away again, pecking her mouth one last time before resting his forehead against hers. 

“I swear I don’t want to go,” he said, then licked his swollen, just kissed and nibbled lips. “But I’m sure my break ended like… Ten minutes ago.”

She chuckled. “That’s—”

“Twenty, actually.” A male’s voice interrupted, startling both of them. 

Lia took a step back and looked to her side, finding the bouncer on his usual spot — sitting on a stool, by the front door of the bar, and scrolling through his phone.

Had he been there the entire time? 

With a chuckle, Harry took a step back from the wall, forcing Lia to take another step back, too.

“I’ll see you in a couple of hours,” Harry said.

“Mhm. Sure.”

That had been their first public interaction, hadn’t it? 

And she hadn’t even realized. Everything had happened so naturally, that she hadn’t even worried about who could be around them. Or who could see them, or who could— 

“Babe.” Harry squeezed her arms. “Look at me.”

“Hm?”

Lia faced him, and Harry furrowed his brows. 

“Don’t worry about him, ok? He won’t say a word about us. He sees me walking over to your place almost everyday now, so it’s not actually news for him, yeah?”

She swallowed, and nodded. 

“Yeah? Alright?”

“Yeah.” She nodded again. “Okay.”

How did he know she was so scared of people saying something? 

Did he know she was terrified of messing it up in front of other people? 

Did he know she was terrified of embarrassing him in front of other people? 

Did he know she was terrified of other people pointing out to him how socially awkward she was? 

Did he know she was painfully convinced people would think he could do better than her? 

Did he know she was painfully convinced people would laugh at him for being with her?

Was Harry actually that good at reading her mind? To the point where she didn’t need to tell him anything, that he would always get her?

Because it surely seemed he was.

It surely felt like he was. 

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Harry asked.

Sitting on the floor and leaning her back against the couch, Lia shook her head. 

“It’s just Molly. I’ll call her later.”

“It’s the third time she’s calling you,” he said from above her, still braiding her hair — or, well, still trying to braid her hair, because they’d been there for half an hour already, and he had started over at least four times. “What if it’s something important?”

It wasn’t. 

Lia knew it wasn’t. 

“It’s not. Don’t worry about it.”

The phone stopped ringing, but only for a second, and then Molly was calling again. 

“Ok. That’s it. You gotta answer your friend.” He held her hair with one hand, and with the other reached for her phone on the coffee table. “I can go to your room and give you some privacy if you want to, but please just answer.”

With a sigh and a groan, Lia grabbed her phone from his hand. Molly’s name flashed on the screen, and her chest tightened. She really didn’t want to face whatever it was that her best friend had to say — because she knew that no matter what it was, she was for sure about to be lectured. 

“Want me to leave?” Harry asked, just as she was answering the call and taking the phone to her ear. 

She turned her head, and tilted her chin up.

“Hey Mols.”

Stay, she mouthed.

Harry nodded, and Lia faced forward, letting him resume with his task while she handled the consequences of ignoring her best friends for the last three weeks. 

“Oh my God! Fucking finally, Lia Lane!”

Lia chuckled. 

“Hiii, I know, I’m sorry… What’s up? How are you?”

“What do you mean ‘what’s up?’ Are you kidding me? You haven’t been answering our texts, and you didn’t come to Jillie’s the other night… I’m worried, y’know?”

Lia looked down to her lap, finding a loose thread on her shorts to fidget with. 

“I know… I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to ignore you guys.” Actually, she did mean to ignore them, but she couldn’t fully explain herself while sitting in between Harry’s legs, and a half-explanation would only make things worse. Hopefully, at some point she would be able to tell them about what was truly going on.

“Yeah well, I also miss you, okay? It sucks to be ignored by your best friend.”

“Again, I’m sorry. I miss you guys too... How are you?”

“I’m good, yeah. Things are good.”

“Okay… I’m glad to hear that.”

“Yeah.” Molly cleared her throat. “I… Look, I met someone.”

Lia widened her eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah… She’s… She’s great. And I wanted to tell you and Jillie about it, okay? You know you’re like, the only family I can introduce her to, so… I mean, that’s why I wanted us to meet the other night… And it just… It sucks that you didn’t show up.”

Harry’s fingers tickled her skin, and Lia pulled forward. She bit her lip to hold back her laughter, then patted Harry’s shin, ignoring his own chuckle and rolling her eyes at him. He shushed her and took his free hand to push her back against the couch, then went back to braiding her hair. 

“Lia? Are you there?”

“Hi, yeah, sorry! I’m here. Again, I’m sorry I missed dinner at Jillie’s. I shouldn’t have.”

“Yeah, it’s whatever… Are you okay, tho? Is everything okay?”

“Mhm, yeah. I just… I’ve been busy.”

“Busy doing what?”

“Y’know…” Lia shrugged. “Just… Stuff. Nothing important. Can we meet this week?”

“Sure… Are you sure everything’s okay tho?”

“Yes, Molly! I'm fine! Don’t worry… I’ve just been busy with work and you know… Outch!” She winced, Harry’s ring getting caught in her hair. He murmured an apology, and tried to untangle the mess as she kept going. “You know how I get sometimes with my anxiety… So I’ve been taking some time to myself, that’s all. But I’m good, I promise.”

“Mm. So… No news?”

“No Mols, no news,” Lia chuckled. “Everything’s the same here.”

Lifting his leg, Harry moved to get around her, then got up from the couch. 

Lia bit her lip as she watched him walk to the kitchen, then to the fridge, finally disappearing behind the open door.

“Lia?” Molly called. 

She blinked.

“Sorry, what?”

“Nevermind… We can talk another time, I can tell you’re busy.”

“I’m not! I’m just… Shit. Sorry I’m so distracted. I’m watching a movie, that’s all. Let’s meet this week, yeah? Maybe get some coffee, or dinner. We can call Jillie, too.”

“Sure. Let’s do that. But please show up, okay? And answer our calls.” 

“I promise I will.”

“Okay… Bye Lia, love ya.”

“Bye Mols, love—”

“You’ll let me know if you need anything, right?”

Lia sighed. She closed her eyes for a second, then stared down at her stretched her legs. “I’m fine, Molly.”

“I know, I know… It’s just… You’ll let me know if you’re not, right?”

“Of course.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay then. Love ya.”

“Love you too, Mols.”

When Lia hung up, she took her phone to her lap and stared at it for a moment. Worrying her friends was the last thing she wanted to do, but she had been so busy and distracted with Harry that she hadn’t been able to balance everything at the same time anymore. She didn’t spend as much time alone as she used to, so she had to reorganize her routine. She couldn’t afford not focusing on her job, and she still had an apartment to take care of, and a family to talk to. So, yes, she’d put her friends aside for a while. Not because she didn’t love them, and not forever, of course. It was just a break she needed until she figured a way to keep up with everything in a healthy and not overwhelming way. 

Still, it sucked that she wasn’t there for them. Lia needed, somehow, to find a way to balance things again. To be there for her friends, like they’d been there for her before. So many times. She needed to— 

“Hey,” Harry said, standing next to the couch.

Lia turned her head, and looked up. 

“Heyy… You didn’t finish my braid?”

“Hm, no, sorry.” He cleared his throat. “Was getting my rings caught there and I couldn’t get it right, so I gave up.”

“Oh, okay.” She nodded, smiling at him as she dropped her head back and rested it on the couch. “Do you still wanna watch a movie?”

“Actually, I was thinking I’d go back to mine.”

“What? Why?” She sat upright and turned her body fully to the side, facing him from the floor. “You’re not shaving again, are you?”

Harry chuckled, rubbing his hand on his chin and scratching his jaw.

“No, not yet, don’t worry. I just… Y’know, need to change my clothes, water my plants… That stuff. Haven’t been there since yesterday morning.”

“Oh. Sure, yeah. Of course.”

She didn’t want him to leave — she really didn’t want him to leave. But they had already spent a lot of time together, so she shouldn’t pressure him on staying any longer than he wanted to. Right? 

Besides, she’d just been thinking about how much she needed to balance things out again, so maybe some time by herself would be good for her. For them. And even for her friends. Right?

Maybe it was a step to move things forward. 

Right?

Lia couldn’t remember how long it had been since the last time she’d been at the bar. And, truth be told, she still didn’t feel like going. She really didn’t. 

She still had hundreds of questions and insecurities about it. She was still terrified of entering Harry’s workplace and seeing him surrounded by so many people. By his coworkers. By other girls. What was she supposed to do around him? Was she supposed to talk to him? Was she supposed to hug him? To kiss him? 

Would he act differently with her now?

He would, right?

Of course he would. 

But what if he wouldn’t?

What if he went back to being rude to her?

It got to a point where staying inside and thinking so much about it became unhealthy. Where all the scenarios she created inside her mind were getting in the way of her living her normal life and doing the smallest tasks, like having dinner, or reading a book. And then it got even worse — when she couldn’t even focus on planning her next classes without having an intrusive thought about the whole thing.

Which was why, on that Saturday night, Lia decided to just go. 

Without thinking again, and without wasting any more time. That way she wouldn’t change her mind. She would just go to The Wandering Triplet and say hi. Simple like that.

And that’s what she did. 

When she arrived, the bouncer smiled and greeted her with the same excitement as always — although he also started by asking if she wanted him to get Harry for her. He’ll be happy to see you, he said after she announced she would actually get inside to say hi. And Lia felt the excitement of a teenager, so it wasn’t a surprise when she walked through the door with a glowy smile on her face.

Inside, people were laughing, chatting, and drinking. Filling the entire place. An acoustic guitar played softly in the background, and a gentle male voice sang a popular song. Despite the big crowd, the atmosphere felt cozy, and joyful. Happy. 

Seeing the place so alive and full made her chest tighten, knowing there was a high chance it suddenly wouldn’t exist anymore. 

Distracted with her thoughts for a couple of seconds, Lia had time to take a deep breath before glancing where she actually wanted her focus to be. There were so many people around the bar that she didn’t see anyone behind it until she stood close enough to lean her elbows on top of the wood. And then, she found them. All of them — Sage, Rohan, and, of course, Harry.

She smiled, then bit her lip.

Unfortunately, he stood too far away for her to call his name without getting everyone else’s attention, so she took a moment to watch him quietly. Secretly. His perfectly messy curls, his facial hair. Black pants, black t-shirt. Mixing drinks, focused on doing his job. Casual. Soft. Hot. 

And all ready to spend the night with her. 

Her heart skipped a beat, and she couldn’t help her smile from getting bigger. There was nothing new about watching him behind the counter, and yet everything was suddenly different. They were different. 

Lia didn’t have to wonder about how it would be to kiss him anymore, about how it would feel to be wrapped inside his arms, or how his voice would sound in the mornings. She didn’t have to fantasize about being touched by his incredible hands, or about tracing his many random tattoos, or about his facial hair scratching her skin.

She didn’t have to wonder anymore, because she was living all of it. 

And even more than all of it.

In front of her, someone cleared their throat, and Lia blinked. 

“So…” Sage watched her with a smirk, arms crossed over her chest and a towel on her shoulder. “Should I get your order, or should I call the reason behind that smile to get it for you?”

“W—what?”

“Lia!” Rohan cheered from the opposite side. A loud exclamation of her name that got everyone’s attention. Hers, Sage’s, and, most importantly, Harry’s. “You’re back!”

Rohan opened his arms and grinned, turning towards where she and Sage stood. 

Harry whipped his head to follow Rohan’s line of sight, quickly meeting her stare. He widened his eyes and smiled, glancing briefly at the drinks in front of him before glancing back at her. 

“Oh I know he’s just dying to come over right now.” Sage laughed. “He’s just got this super annoying group of people waiting for drinks tho.”

Lia nodded, unable to look away from Harry. 

Hi babe, he mouthed. 

If possible, her smile got even wider. 

“I’m Sage, by the way. ‘M not sure if we’ve been properly introduced before.”

That got her attention, and Lia finally darted her eyes away from him. 

“Sorry, I don’t think we have, no. I’m Lia.”

“Oh, I know who you—” 

“Look at you!” Stopping next to Sage, Rohan threw one arm around his coworker, but his stare never faltered from Lia’s face. “You’re alive!”

Lia blinked a couple of times, and nodded.

“Um, yeah,” she said, holding the most stupid smile on her face while darting her sight from him to over his shoulder, where she could see Harry staring at her. “I am, yeah… It’s been, um… It’s been a while, huh?”

“A long while, yeah.” Rohan chuckled. “You can’t go missing like that. This place is not the same without my favorite customer around.” 

Sage snorted, pushing his arm away. “Okay, Casanova. First, you’re making me nauseous. Two, you can’t just assume people want you to flirt with them.”

Rohan chuckled and mumbled something Lia couldn’t hear, nor wanted to hear. Behind him, Harry focused back on his drinks, then back on her, then back on his drinks. And Lia tapped her foot on the floor, wanting nothing more than for him to be done and walk up to her. 

In front of her, Sage cackled, and Lia blinked. 

“Whatever,” Sage said, shaking her head and focusing back on Lia. “I’m gonna see if Harry needs any help. Maybe I can speed things up a little.” 

Sage winked, then turned around and walked away. 

Lia glanced back at Harry, holding his stare until Sage said something that got all of his attention. He broke eye-contact, then, but kept smiling, shrugging and going back to the drinks in front of him while Sage involved herself as well.

“He probably does need all the help,” Rohan said with a chuckle. “Girls go crazy with him. He’s always the busiest. Anywho, how are you? Huh? What have you been up to?”

Lia sighed. Of course she understood that Harry couldn’t leave everything just to talk to her. She wasn’t expecting him to do so. After all, it was his job. However, as Rohan waited for answers to questions she couldn’t even pay attention to, she kind of wished he had. 

It was obvious she wasn’t there to talk to Rohan, and that it wasn’t him the one she wanted to be there with. If Sage had noticed already, why couldn’t he notice it, too?

“Lia?”

“What, Rohan? What?!”

Rohan flinched back, and Lia widened her eyes, turning to him so fast her neck snapped. She winced, then pressed her hand on top of her throbbing muscle. 

“Oh my—Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I’m—I didn’t mean to be rude, I was just— I— I had a long day, and... It’s too crowded here and… I’m really sorry!”

Shit. 

She was lying about having a long day, but not about everything else. It was crowded there. And she didn’t mean to be rude. 

In fact, she didn’t even want to be rude. 

She hated being rude.

She’d been just thinking too much, too nervous about everything. Wishing that Rohan would, at least, notice she wasn’t even looking at him, y’know? Wishing he would stop talking for a little bit. That’s all. But she didn’t mean to snap at him. Especially when he had been nothing but welcoming and nice to her.

God. She hated being rude to people.

“It’s fine.” Rohan rested his hand on her arm, squeezing gently as he offered a soft smile. He loosened the grip, and then moved it away. “Don’t worry about it. Are you okay tho? Do you need anything?”

Lia sighed and shook her head. 

See? Rohan wasn’t a bad person. He had been so sweet to her from the beginning. She shouldn’t just snap at him out of nowhere. That wasn’t nice of her. And it wasn’t fair to him. She could be better than that.

She was better than that.

“I am okay, thanks. But I’m really sorry. I really am.”

“Like I said, don’t worry. Just forget about it.” He waved her off, and she smiled. “Let me get you a drink tho, yeah? On the house.”

“Oh, no, please no.” She shook her head, but made sure to chuckle, keeping everything as light as possible. “No need to, really.”

“I insist. C’mon, what do you want? Or… What if I surprise you with something different tonight, huh?”

“Rohan, it’s fine, really.”

“Lia.” He lifted his eyebrows, as if trying to prove a point. “You’re here to drink something, aren’t you? Even if it’s just water. And it’s my job to get your drink. So let me get it for you.”

“Ugh.” She threw her head back and smiled, both in amusement and annoyance. After a second, she looked back at him and sighed, then rested both forearms on the counter and linked her hands together. “A mojito will be fine, then, thanks.”

“Oh c’mon!” Rohan chuckled. “Aren’t you bored of mojitos already?”

Lia was about to laugh and say something when Rohan hunched down and placed his own forearms on the counter. With a smirk, he caged her arms in between his, then got way closer to her face than he needed to be. Or that he had ever been before. 

And then, for the first time since she’d met him, Rohan made Lia uncomfortable. 

Really uncomfortable.

Inside her chest, her heartbeat sped up. 

“Let me get you something else, huh?”

“N—no, it’s just…” She shook her head. “It’s fine… I mean, I— Well, it’s my… My favorite drink, actually, so…”

He chuckled, placing his fingers around her wrist and squeezing before straightening his back up again. “You’re cute.”

She closed her eyes for just a second, letting the air she was holding out through her nose and dropping her shoulders. 

Oblivious to her reactions, Rohan took a step back, smiling and pointing his index finger at her. “One mojito for my favorite customer, then!”

“I got it,” Harry said, placing a hand on Rohan’s shoulder whilst looking at her.

Lia stood up again, her jaw clenching as she swallowed. 

Harry didn’t look happy. 

Harry also didn’t sound happy. 

At all.

“You?” Rohan turned around, laughing. “Why?” 

“Because.”

“Oh c’mon. It’s Lia, man. I’ll make it.”

“Exactly.” Harry crossed his arms on his chest and tilted his chin up. “Lia prefers my mojitos, so I got it. You can go now.”

Rohan said something, and Harry looked back at him, then back at her. With pulled eyebrows, set jaw, and pursed lips. That angry, bitter expression she had put behind and forgotten about.

As they talked, Lia closed her hands into fists, then swallowed. 

The thud of her heart echoed heavily in her chest, and her lungs suddenly couldn’t hold any oxygen inside them. 

And then, Harry tilted her chin towards her. 

“Why don’t we ask her, then?”

Lia widened her eyes.

What…

What was he doing?

“Hey Lia, don’t you think my mojitos are better than Rohan’s?”

.

.

.

“Aren’t they your favorites?”

She opened her mouth, and closed it again.

Blank. 

Her mind went blank.

“Oh c’mon, weren’t you just chatting with him till now? Laughing with him? What’s gotten to you now? Huh? Cat got your tongue?”

“Dude, what the hell?” Rohan placed a hand on his chest, taking a step to the side and standing in front of him. 

Lia looked down at the counter, then took a step back.

“What’s gotten into you? You’re taking it too far.”

“I just asked her a question. She can answer, can’t she?”

“You’re making her uncomfortable, man.”

“Oh.” Harry scoffed. “So I’m the one making her uncomfortable now?”

“Look at her. Of course she’s uncomfortable. Back off, ok?”

There was a pause as Lia blew out multiple short breaths to pull herself together. Music was still playing, people were still chatting, but everything went silent for her. 

Her chest was too tight. She still couldn’t think. 

She wanted Harry to make her feel better, but Harry had just made her feel worse.

Harry.

Fuck.

She took one hand up to her cheek, wiping the tears she hadn’t even noticed before.

“Lia…” 

Shit. 

His voice… 

He was just… 

“Just leave her alone, man. I got her. Why don’t you…”

A buzz rang inside her ears as their voices faded away. 

She couldn’t breathe. 

She needed to get out of there. 

Lia turned around, grasping her bag tightly between her fingers and squeezing her way into the crowd. 

She needed to get out of there. 

She needed to get out of there. 

She needed to get out of there. 

Voices were muffled as they reached her ears. She couldn’t see, nor hear anyone. 

All she could do was move forward. 

Move her legs. Cross the street. 

And go back to her place.

Get away from everything.

Get away from everyone.

Get away from him.

[maybe-its-5sos]

Try again (Toshinori Yagi Smut)

Requested: no

Summary: You want to add another addition to the family, he’s unsure.

Word Count: 1695

Warning(s): Self-doubt, Smut

“So What I think doesn’t matter?” You question sitting down next to Yagi on the couch.

Tho you’d been with him for years and have 2 kids, he still occasionally gets into these strange thought patterns. Yes, his self esteem has been low ever since he lost use of his All Might form, but you thought that you having been with him for so long would be worth something.

“Of course it does, dear!” His eyes shoot towards yours, as if searching for something.

“Well then, listen to me, I married you because I love you, all of you. Furthermore I prefer you in your smaller form and I’ve told you as much as thousand times. I know it’s not easy, and I know you feel down, but you need to remember that people still love you no matter what!” You say, taking a sip of your tea, offering Toshi his own cup. He takes it, looking like he’s deep in thought.

“You’re right” he says looking at you again with a smile, but it seemed a bit hollow, like he didn’t truly believe it. You decided to not push the matter further for now as your 9 year old barges into the living room from his room. “ Dad! Look” he says excitedly, he had fashioned his blanket into a cape. You smile wiggling your eyebrows at your husband.

He goes to play with him and your 6 year old joins in, playing as a villain.

You thought the ruckus in your house would never stop as your family spent their day off playing heroes and villains and god whatever else came to their creative brilliant little minds. Your husband played along with all of it.

By the end of the night, the kids were so worn out, getting them to bed was a dream. They were sleeping pretty much the second their heads hit the pillow.

You were in your bedroom, getting ready for bed as Yagi joined you. “Hey, I wanna talk to you about something when you have a moment.” You tell your loving husband as you put on your baggy sleep shirt. “What’s on your mind, darling?” He inquired.

“ I want another kid.” You blurt out, looking away, worried about his reaction. A breath hitches in his throat causing him to cough. “Y/n, Im not sure that would be a good idea, the kids would have a pretty big age gap and I don’t know if I could keep up with another kid…” he says, nudging you to face him, putting a finger under your chin to lift it, getting you to look at him.

“I know… but I miss being pregnant” you trail off. “Why would you want another child with someone like me? When we had our boys I was still All might, I still had something to offer.” He confesses quietly. Doubts swirling in his mind. It was true, you had your youngest long before his quirk became nearly un usable. It always worried him, not being able to protect his family anymore, he also thought you would lose your interest in him. To his surprise you had stayed steadfast in your love and adoration for him.

You shoot him a glare, “I love you no matter what Toshi, You have so much more to offer than just being a hero and I still don’t care what form you’re in.” You tell him, giving him a reassuring peck. In all honesty, if you had the time and he had the energy, you’d have a gaggle of kids by now. You’d be jumping his bones at every and any opportunity. Sadly tho, with your family keeping both of you busy and his injuries hindering his sex drive, that hasn’t been a possibility.

“I don’t know” he says nervously. “Just think about it, even if the answer is no, I would appreciate you giving it a thought.” You tell him, looking at him with a slightly sad look. He caught it immediately but didn’t say anything about it, giving you a nod.

Getting in bed, you fall asleep tho a little restless, he on the other hand couldn’t sleep. Toshis thoughts were racing.

He wanted to give you want you want. He always had. But at the same time he was unsure if he could handle another kid. Yagi loves his boys and would do anything in his power for them. Could he have another?

Before he knew it, the blaring alarm, rays of sunshine and tussling from your side of the bed awoken him from a slumber he didn’t even realise he was in. He keeps his eyes shut, trying to get a little more sleep while you get out of bed and make your way to the kitchen.

Cheerful giggles fill your home and delightful smells of food tingle the nose. Toshi shuffles towards the kitchen, stopping when he sees you three. Playfully preparing breakfast. The youngest is holding the spatula, while the oldest is getting things out of the fridge to set on the table. You’re cutting up fruit as you giggle at your youngest making goofy faces.

They look so much like a younger version of their father. You always wonder where your genetics disappeared to.

The breakfast was delicious, even if Toshi couldn’t eat a whole lot and everyone was all giggles. Today was the end of the weekend, meaning the boys needed to clean up their rooms and do all their homework. And man does Yagi find it sexy when you go into teacher mode. You run a tight ship. The boys already know the routine.

Your husband’s heart flutters as he watches you help your oldest do his math as the youngest also listens tho he clearly doesn’t fully understand what you’re going on about. Maybe he truly does want another kid.

Getting back to the bedroom, the boys clean and in bed, getting ready to go to sleep yourself. Toshi comes out from the shower a beautiful wide sparkling smile on his face. “I think I’m okay with trying for another.”

“What?” You question, what he said not quite registering. “ I want another baby, unless you’ve changed your mind, dear” He explains, his smile slightly faltering. “Really?!” You whisper shriek. He nods, his smile even brighter than before, you swear that smile could make you melt if you looked at it long enough.

You smash your lips into his, pulling him into a passionate kiss as you pull him closer by the drawstrings on his pj pants. “Are you sure?” You say catching your breath. “Yes.” He chuckles. As you make your way towards your bed.

He gently pulls the shirt you just put on over your head, throwing it on the ground together with his pj pants. He’s already starting to pitch a tent in his underwear. He’s gently kissing down your neck as you gently play with his hair. He reaches your breasts, gently nuzzling one as he squeezes the other, a gentle hum escaping you.

“You’re so beautiful, y/n” he says, taking one of your nipples in his mouth. He gently suckles on in, soon switching to the other. “ I wish we had time to do this more often” you murmur. He chuckles lowly, kissing down your abdomen, getting closer and closer to your core.

He gently nibbles on the soft supple skin of your inner thigh, earning a slight arch of the back from you.

He gently removes your panties, rubbing a finger in your folds. Soon his tongue follows. He’s eating you out like it’s his last supper, earning moans and groans from you, your hand stuck in his hair unable to contain your pleasure. You can feel a mile on his face as he gets you this riled up. He knows he can’t last as long as he used to, so he makes sure you feel as good as possible before the main act.

Euphoria hits you as your muscles clench, begging for a release. His tongue hits your clit perfectly, throwing you off of the cliff, bliss clouding your mind.

“ I need you” you moan, as Toshi gets back on top of you while you try to push his underwear off. He assists you revealing his massive member. Even after all these years, you’ve still never quite gotten used to it. Didn’t help that he was gone so often. “ I love you, y/n” he tells you as he’s lining himself up, giving you a deep, passionate kiss. It feels like he needs you, in a way that could never be described. It’s so loving yet needy.

“ Are you ready, sweetie?” He groans. “Yeah” you moan in anticipation. He gently pushes into you, giving you a bit of time to adjust. You roll your hips into him, signalling for him to move.

The thrusts are slow, deep and sweet. He’s making love to you like it’s the first time, no matter how many times you’ve been in this situation. He’s always just so sweet and caring. His hips roll into yours so naturally, like you’re made for each other. Youre both trying to keep it down, but it feels so good that some quiet groans escape both of you. Yagis pace quickening as his climax is getting closer.

You pull him closer, your nails gently grazing his back. He’s kissing your neck, sucking on the skin here and there but not hard enough to leave marks. Your becoming more and more breathless as you get closer to your second cumming.

His thrusts become jagged and less rhythmic as you feel him twitch in you. A few more thrusts later, you climax again, him following shortly after. He stays inside as his seed shoots into you, his breaths short and body being held up by just his elbows. Yagi shoots you a bright smile, kissing your cheek. “Hopefully that did the trick” he chuckles, slowly pulling out and laying down next to you.

“I wouldn’t mind doing that again,” you beam, sending him a wink, a deep blush gracing his cheeks.

“I love you, y/n”

“I love you too, Toshi”

Masterlist

Ask

With love,

-K

[astrolynnworld]

wanting you

pairing: matt sturniolo x reader

summary: matt wants you but knows he can never have you so he just gets off to the thought of you instead.

warnings: smut! obsession, masturbation, lust, need, imagination, cunnilingus, language.

a/n: this whole story is in matt’s pov! the bold lettering is his subconscious head thoughts & the regular lettering is his conscious regular thoughts. enjoy 🫡

word count: 800

im so in love with her.

anything she does just makes my heart ache with need. the need for her

she’s so precious, everything about her. i love her smile.. her laugh.. her eyes.. her personality, her voice, her smell, her bod-

fuck. no matt.. focus!

she’s such an amazing person, inside and out.. innsideee

i long to know how she feels on the inside. i bet she gets so wet, and i just know her pussy would clench around my dick like a claw mac-

MATT. enough. this is y/n you’re talking about.. your best friend of 7 years, you shouldn’t be thinking about her like this

but fuck does she turn me on inside and out. everything about her is literally perfect

*ding* i hear a notification from my phone

y/n just posted on instagram. i go to check what the photo is

she’s on a rooftop club posted up in a red halter top, black mini skirt, & some sexy laced up black heels.. my favorite pair of hers actually

the caption reads, “just your type.” for damn sure is what i thought

i notice the number 1/5 on the top and decide to swipe to the next one.

this one is her slightly turned to the back, bent down holding her knees while looking at the camera. i can see a bit of her panties

fuck she looks so seductive. i can’t help the tent that starts to grow in my pants

“what do you do to me?” i ask myself

i start palming myself in my pants as i continue through the slideshow, each picture getting a slight bit more seductive than the last.

i like the picture and leave a slick comment such as, “great photos 📸 “

not even a few seconds later she replies “thanks 📸” and likes my comment

she likes everyone’s comment, i don’t know why my like felt so special but it did.

fuck did she have a chokehold on me.. she needs to have a chokehold of something else tho

the palming through my pants allowed my dick to be fully erected at this point

it felt wrong thinking of her in this way but i couldn’t help with when i get horny and she’s the most beautiful girl in my eyes.

everything from her head to her toes is god given beauty.

i remember that one time, at nathan’s pool party, when she came in with her sexy purple two piece bathing suit.

i wish i could of took her back inside, slid those panties off and went to work. i just know she tastes fantastic

i take my dick out of my boxers as i imagine the thought of good her pussy would taste

i start stroking it to the thought her obedience as i take full control

how wet she could get from the thought of me domming her.

“mhm, you’re so good for daddy aren’t you?”

as she slides out of her panties and makes her way to the bed.

i follow behind her, pushing her down on the bed so i can climb on top of her and kiss her pretty pink lips

my dick throbs at the scene in my head

i slide down and kiss her second pair of pretty pink lips; causing her to let out a small whine

“moan for me baby, i wanna hear you” i say before starting to dip and lick my tongue all over her wet pussy

she’s making so many pretty noises but it’s not enough, i have to do more. i want her to feel like she’s never felt before

i stick my fingers inside and curl them. she whimpers at the sudden friction

i push my fingers in and out of her dripping pussy while licking up and down at her clit. i keep this pace going for a while

she starts grinding on my tongue, pulling my head closer to her pussy.

i’m thrusting into my hand faster. i want nothing more than to satisfy her

“fuck matt- pls don’t stop i’m going to cum”

“cum for me baby. please cum. i want nothing more than to taste you baby”

“matt. oh my fuck-“ she says letting her hips buck up uncontrollably

i’m so fucking close right now i can feel the pre cum leaking out of my dick like a fire hose

“mat- fuck i’m- i’m gonna cum” she says before squeezing my head with her thighs as she releases her high

i buck my hips into my hand one last time before im spilling out cum onto my chest.

i can’t remember the last time i came so hard. yet this time, it’s only from a fantasy of eating y/n out

god. i need her so bad

———————————————————————

a/n- and then the audience clapped 😵‍💫 all my matt stories are short :( can you tell i’m a chris girl? im gonna come with longer ones soon

[cryptidghostgirl]

CHUBBY! READER X ALASTOR

I'm soooo sorry that I'm requesting something else this just came to me and I needed your storytelling expertise to bring it to life 😢

ALSO ALSO ALSO this one has a trigger warning so please read with the thought that YOURE PERFECT!!!😤(if you write it)

OTAY OTAY soooooooooooo reader has been apart of the hotel for awhile and has developed a crush on Alastor from afar and the small instances they do cross paths but hesitates to approach him on her own because well we're shy and HES THE RADIO DEMON anyway reader doesn't have to worry about distance between them because Alastor is AVOIDING HER ALL ON HIS OWN 😯 AND somehow reader gathers the courage to approach Alastor but sees his relationship with Rosie (they're besties, platonic soulmates definitely) and thinks 'wow, she's so beautiful and...thin' and proceeds to lock herself away from everyone (SOLITUDE) and skips meals (starving herself), Alastor is the first to notice shes missin and pulling away but doesn't know how to approach her without stumbling over his words (i like to think that hes a heartbreaker to other women like his fans but with someone that he likes with real feelings hes fumbling in the dark because he could get rejected instead, i will die on the hill) so so so he hesitates to ask reader whats wrong till he hears her throwing up or she says something awful about herself and Alastor gets angry on her behalf and reader goes silent, only for Alastor to take a breath and tell her that 'shes hurting herself, for a shallow reason such as looks', and reader goes 'i thought you liked to watch others downfalls' and then hes like 'not your downfall, never you' 😔 reader starts to cry and shouts "im not Rosie', confused Alastor finally starts putting the pieces together and grabs reader hands and sincerely says "good, i wouldn't rosie anyhow, or anyone else for that matter', reader continuing to cry tells him to stop lying that this joke isn't funny and Alastor kissies her hand as says "whos joking? I only want you, your perfect" then then then slowly Alastor starts to help reader look at themselves in a more positive light [[fit this in somewhere???????Alastor tells reader why hes so close to rosie (he's clueless about reciprocated love so he goes to Rosie because canon that she knows matters of the heart...right?)]]

A/N as always i am obsessed with your request. Also I 100% agree with the assessment of Alastor's ability to talk to people he actually likes. I am literally so obsessed with this request. Also I am assuming from your previous comments you wanted the same bunny demon character?? Please forgive me if I am wrong but I did it for her (because I love her dearly and she is based of meeeee and I'm egotisticalllllll). Kisses bestie <3 <3

Downfall (Alastor x Chubby!Bunny Demon!Reader)

Paring: Alastor x Reader

Word Count: 4,076 (I got a little carried away)

Warnings: BODY IMAGE ISSUES!!! EDS!!!! I think that's it but they're in all caps for a reason so if you have ED issues maybe don't read this one??? It is hurt//comfort tho so maybe do???? Idk. If you get triggered by ed descriptions, don't. If having a fictional character tell you you're perfect the way you are and beg you to stop destroying yourself because they can't bear to watch would help you, do.

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Alastor Master List

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It had taken months. Months of wondering what he was like, of stolen glances, of furtive daydreams. Months of building up courage, of backing down, months of hoping and dreaming. It had taken endless encouragement from Angel, countless pages in her diary. It had taken a million deep breaths, ten thousand trembles of her hands. Months, it had taken months.

It wasn't like Y/n had never spoken to the man before. That wasn't really the issue. She wasn't scared of him, just scared. The simple idea of being alone with him was an intoxicating mixture of terror and utter bliss. Y/n didn't know how to handle it, she didn't know how to handle him.

Alastor was untouchable, nearly semi-divine in her eyes. Sure, he was fucked up, but they all were. At the end of the day, his facade was as easy to see through as a cheap paper crown from a Christmas cracker. Beneath the wide smile, the sharp teeth, the stories, Alastor was just a man. He cared deeply for the world around him, for the people around him and those in his life. No matter how hard he tried to disguise it, it always shone through to Y/n.

It wasn't like she had never spoken to Alastor before, she had just never spoken to him alone before. Every interaction they had ever had was as a part of the larger group of Hotel residents and staff. On the rare occasion they ran into one another in the hallway or happened to each be in the kitchen at the same time, Y/n froze up. Words turned to stones in her stomach and all she could ever seem to manage was a gentle nod, a shaky smile. It frustrated her to no end.

Finally, she had worked up the courage to talk to him. It was all Angel's idea really, she would never have had the thought to do such a thing on her own but his pushing had been relentless and at last, Y/n had agreed.

And it had taken months, months! This was her third attempt to go up to him. They had even lowered the stakes, Angel saying all she had to do was have a single normal conversation with the man and he would let her off the hook, stop his pestering and teasing. It was just her luck, really just her god damn luck.

Sir Pentious had informed Y/n that Alastor had left the hotel to see a friend, Charlie had given her the address of the cafe he had said he would be at should they need him. Everyone was all smiles, all encouragement. Y/n reminded herself to yell at Angel later for spilling her secret although, she guessed she shouldn't have expected anything else from the hotel's biggest gossip.

Putting on her favorite outfit, her hair all done up and makeup perfect, Y/n had slicked her ears flat against her head in determination and stepped out onto the streets of Pentagram City. It didn't take long for her to find the place, a sweet little cafe on the outskirts of Cannibal Town with white wrought iron chairs and a cheerful pink and purple sign. It hadn't taken her long to spot the bright red of Alastor's suit through the window either, standing out against all the muted purples and dark blacks of the other cannibals enjoying their meals within.

"It's fine. It's totally not weird that you're going up to him in a cafe he's having lunch in with a friend, that you.... oh my god Y/n!! He's gonna think you were stalking him! You should just go back and- no! You promised. Y/n, you can do this."

She took a deep breath, centering herself in that little core, that rod of who she was, that shot down the center of her being. Raising a closed fist to her chest, she shut her eyes.

"You can do this, Bunny." she reaffirmed, "You can do this."

Opening her eyes, she crossed the street. Her hand was inches away from the door's handle, her heart racing but set on what she was about to do, when Y/n noticed exactly who Alastor's 'friend' was.

Across the table from him, sipping delicately on a cup of tea, was the most beautiful demon Y/n thought she had ever laid eyes on. She had long, dainty fingers, thin and spidery, and the most perfectly proportioned body. She was tall, long legs sheltered by her skirt and a tiny waist that threw her hips and chest into contrast. The woman's hair was neat, tucked up beneath a wide brimmed hat. Her clothes were classy, her smile was bright and charming, the black holes of her eyes were... were... were everything. She was everything, everything Y/n wasn't.

Suddenly, the weight of her own body against her bones became all too real. She felt the urge to never be touched again, the same strange sickness of her youth sinking its teeth into the softness of her stomach, her thighs, her arms, all of her. Her hand lowered from the handle, Alastor laughing at something the woman had said to him. He seemed relaxed, more at peace than Y/n had ever seen the man before. If that wasn't love, she didn't know what was.

It took a second for the other residents of the Hazbin Hotel to realize the change. Y/n was good at this, she'd had practice. For years, she had worked to move past it all but the threat of a relapse had always hung over her head. It was her sword of Damocles, her fated demise.

Y/n retreated in to herself, she couldn't get the image of that woman out of her head. Poised, statuesque, thin. God, Y/n had never wanted anything more than she wanted to be thin. She wanted to rip fistfuls of flesh from her body, she wanted to wither away so only something beautiful remained.

Alastor was the first to notice. He had a soft spot for the rabbit demon who always seemed to be full of that soft, discrete joy and unending kindness. She was a more toned down version of Charlie. She was genuine and completely herself, no holds bared. She had such a hope, she had such a goodness, it made him wonder why she hadn't ended up in Heaven instead.

The truth was, behind the bravado and the grin, Alastor was scared of Y/n. He was scared he would touch her and she would rot away or worse, that she would run. She was just so good, so intrinsically wondrous, and he was the opposite. She was a fresh rose and he was the person coming haplessly along with a pair of gardening shears. She was radiant, she was carved fresh from marble, he was down bad.

Women had never been a priority or a problem for Alastor. Living and dead, they flocked to him. He knew his reputation was to blame, not to mention his looks. They could be fun for a while. Alastor saw charming them as a game, a good way to pass the time. This was different, Y/n was different. Alastor didn't know what to do so, he did nothing. He avoided her like the plague and when he couldn't, he practically ignored her, barley spared her a word.

Alastor was untethered, completely in the dark and so, he did what everyone does when they feel like that: he went to talk to his best friend. When he had gotten back to the hotel after his rather illuminating little chat with Rosie, Charlie had asked him if he had seen Y/n. It felt like divine chance, a cruel joke of fate, that the demon Princess would bring up the very source of his problems so soon after having at last pushed past his pride to ask for help.

When he had revealed the truth to the gang, that no, he had not in fact seen Y/n, they seemed deflated. There had been some sighs, some shrugs, shared glances he didn't understand and then everything had gone back to normal except, it wasn't quite normal.

Where Y/n could normally be found causing trouble, making mischief with the people who had so quickly become her friends since she had started her stay at the hotel out in the open, there was now a distinct lack of her jovial presence. She began taking her plates to her room at meals, showing up to group activities less and less, claiming she was tired or had a stomach ache. Alastor noticed every time he did manage to catch a glimpse of the marvelous and strange creature who had captured his affections so, she seemed utterly exhausted. Y/n was always bundled up, even on the warmest of days.

He wanted to go talk to her, wanted to ask her if she was okay. Alastor was worried -- genuinely worried -- about her. The only thing that stopped him from knocking every time he passed her perpetually closed door, was that he knew himself too well. He knew that the minute he entered, he'd lose his courage, that the words would become mush in his mouth.

It was pure chance, right place wrong time, that he heard it. Alastor had been following his normal routine, heading up to his radio tower for a broadcast after a group activity. Today had been Operation Navigation! As Charlie had dubbed it. She and Vaggie had built an obstacle course and everyone had a partner who was blindfolded and had to be guided through. When they got to the other end, the pairs had switched. Miraculously, Y/n had shown up to this event.

Alastor had watched her carefully, noting her sluggish movements and the way it took her a second to fully register what anyone was saying in a given moment. It was out of the ordinary and his worry only grew. He knew he was going to have to do something about it eventually but just didn't know how. Maybe it would require another visit to Rosie.

As he walked past the lobby bathroom, Alastor was pulled from his thoughts. The door was slightly ajar, sending shards of light out into the darkened hallway.

"Why isn't it working!"

Came the hushed yell of defeat. It was Y/n's voice, he'd know it anywhere. Alastor stopped walking.

"Why do I have to be..."

There was a sniff, the sound of something hitting the wall. Alastor realized it had been Y/n at the sound of fabric against the wallpaper. He could see her in his minds eye as she slid down the wall, pulling her knees into her chest.

"Why can't I just be skinny."

Y/n's words were muffled, soft and shaky.

"Why can't I just be pretty. Why do I have to be... to be..." her words were briefly broken by a sob, "why can't I just be good. I can't even fucking starve myself right. I wish..."

Alastor's body reacted before his mind could catch up, he knocked gently on the door. There was a little yelp of surprise from within, a few sniffs and some rustling fabric.

"Yeah?"

Y/n's voice trembled as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

"May I come in?"

Alastor heard the sharp intake of breath. It was too late to back down now. The silence was thick between them, it felt eternal.

"Okay." Y/n agreed at last, her voice small, and Alastor stepped into the room.

It was exactly how he had imagined it. Y/n was huddled on the floor next to the door, her knees tucked up under her chin and her arms holding her shins tightly. Alastor noticed that the thick, woolen sweater she had been wearing earlier had been tossed to the side, laying haphazardly beside the sink. Y/n sniffed again, trying to smile.

"Everything okay?" she asked and Alastor fixed his eyes back on her.

Y/n's eyes were rimmed with red. Her ears lay limply around her face which was stained with tears. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, she shivered.

"No. It's not."

She seemed a bit taken aback by his answer, not having grasped the reality of the cracked door earlier.

"I don't... what's wrong?"

"You are starving yourself." Alastor replied in a matter-of-fact voice.

Y/n's eyes went wide.

"Fuck... I... fuck!" she buried her face in her knees, "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Are you trying to die!?" Alastor asked,

He didn't mean to yell, he didn't mean to be this angry. Everything he said seemed to send shockwaves of regret through his body. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Are you... I just... are you stupid?!"

Y/n looked up at him again, her eyes wet with fresh tears.

"I-"

"You what." Alastor scoffed, "You want to be pretty?"

"I..."

"You want to be pretty so you lock yourself away? You make your friends watch as you... as you what, as you get thin? As you destroy yourself?"

She was crying now, truly crying. Alastor looked away, a hand to his head. He took a deep breath, everything was going wrong. When he looked at her again, her cheeks were flushed from a mixture of shame and hurt.

"I just..." he took another deep breath, sinking to his knees before her, "Why would you hurt yourself so badly for something as.. as shallow as your looks?"

Y/n sniffled, frantically trying to wipe away her tears.

"What, I thought you liked to watch other people's downfalls." she tried to shoot back at him but her words came out stuttering and broken through the thickly falling tears.

Y/n refused to meet Alastor's gaze. Everything was going wrong. She was horribly embarrassed, she felt like a butterfly and Alastor was the terror who had opened her chrysalis too soon. He wasn't supposed to see her like this, he wasn't supposed to see her now. He was only supposed to get the after. It was all for him, after all, wasn't it?

Except, Y/n knew the truth of the matter. Alastor had been the trigger but, these behaviors were too well engrained. She might not have known it then, but she'd been looking for an excuse all along. It was all for her, every inch of agony.

His heart dropped at her words. Was that what Y/n truly thought of him? It would make sense, it was the face he presented to the world after all. He had just thought... he had hoped... Rosie had said....

Rosie. That was the answer. She had told him to be honest, to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying such a prospect could be. She had said it was the only way they ever had the slightest chance.

Alastor reached a hand out gently, turning Y/n to look at him. Her skin was soft to the touch, the beating of her blood thrumming against his fingertips. With the utmost care he could muster in his clawed and rotten hands, Alastor wiped her tears away. He couldn't meet Y/n's eyes but heard her sniffle, watched as the flow of sorrow slowed.

"Not your downfall." he said, his words like quiet feathers falling through the air, "Never your downfall."

At last he met her trembling gaze, fear coursing hotly through him, mingling with his blood. She took a few short, stuttering breaths before bursting into tears once again. Alastor flinched slightly as her head fell forward onto his shoulder.

"But I'm not that woman!"

"Woman... what woman?"

"The one you were with at the cafe!"

"The one... Rosie?"

Y/n nodded, sniffiling slightly as she tried to calm herself down.

"You saw me with Rosie? How?"

"I went... I'd been working up all this courage and... I just wanted to talk to you and Charlie and Pen said you'd be there and... and... and I'm not Rosie!"

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He had been right all along, Rosie was the answer. With the air of someone who hadn't had much physical affection given to them in their life, or received any for that matter, Alastor slowly wrapped his hands around Y/n's shaking back.

"Good."

"What do you mean 'good'? She's so beautiful and she made you laugh and she's just... she's so beautiful and thin!"

"She is beautiful, and a lovely woman but, I don't want Rosie. Or anyone else for that matter."

Y/n's sobs redoubled, she began to struggle against his grip.

"Let me go! Stop lying, Alastor."

Alastor released Y/n from his grasp and she pushed herself back against the wall, utterly mortified and unable to stop. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away.

"Stop joking, it's... it's not funny."

"Who is joking? I..." Alastor took a deep breath.

Rosie had been right, it was terrifying. He hope she was right on the second part too, that it would be worth it.

"Y/n, have you seen yourself?"

"Yes! Why the fuck do you think I want to be anything else?!"

Alastor got to his feet, holding a hand out to Y/n.

"Come with me."

"No." she mumbled, scooting further away from him if it was possible.

Under another circumstance, he would have chuckled lightly, he would have found her reaction adorable. This was neither the time nor the place and so, summoning his shadows, he transported them both into the darkness of his room.

Y/n looked around, pulling herself to her feet.

"Where... where are we?"

"My room." Alastor sat down on the edge of his bed, "Come here."

Hesitantly, Y/n took a few steps forwards. Once she was in reach, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. The feeling sent sparks through his body, Alastor tried his best to ignore it. There were more important things than the pleasure of the moment. Y/n struggled against his grasp, the tips of her ears dragging slightly across his arms.

"Alastor! Let me go! I'm too heavy!"

"No, you're quite perfect actually."

"I don't want to be touched! I don't want you to... you're making me want to tear my skin off, please."

"No." his voice was firm.

"Please, just please let go of my waist at least."

To this, he relented, one of his arms falling loosely onto her lap as he held the other up, snapping his fingers. Shadow's flooded into the room, bringing with them a full length mirror. He felt Y/n tense in his grasp.

They came to a stop, setting the mirror on the ground before them. Y/n turned her head away, her eyes shut tight.

"Please stop, Alastor. This really isn't funny."

"Y/n."

"No."

"Y/n."

"No!"

Y/n, please."

She had never heard him say the word before. Slowly, she opened her eyes, craning her neck to look up at Alastor.

"I want you to see what I see when I look at you."

"You promise you wont be mean?" Y/n asked suspiciously after a moment.

"I pinky promise."

He had seen her do this before, with other residents of the hotel. A simple locking of pinky's was all it ever took to make a promise, to assuage her doubts, to show she cared. Y/n's eyes widened slightly. Slowly, she reached her hand out, locking her pinky with his. They shook their hands once, the way Alastor had seen her do it a thousand times before.

"Wait." Y/n said as he made to move his hand away, looking away bashfully, her cheeks a bright pink and her voice quiet, "Don't let go."

"Okay."

Taking a deep breath, she turned to the mirror. It was terrible, she felt bile rise in her throat.

"Y/n, you are so... every inch of you is perfect." Alastor took a deep breath, the way his voice trembled not escaping Y/n's notice, "You have... amazing legs. I know everyone's all obsessed with Angel's but, he has nothing on you walking around on those sticks. You're... you're all soft curves and lace. If you were made of anything, you would be satin. You are a nymph rising from the lakes, a wild maenad in the woods. Your eyes shine like true stars, not what we have here. Did you know rabbits were always my favorite animal?"

Y/n giggled slightly, her tearstained cheeks flushed pink.

"Well they were. They still are. Your ears are just to die for, dearest."

He felt her ears twitch slightly against his back at the comment and Y/n watched through the mirror as his smile softened at it's harsh edges.

"Your grace is what the Greeks wrote about. You... Y/n, the first time I set eyes on you, I felt like I was drowning." Alastor looked away, unable to meet her eyes even through the glass, "Like you were a siren and I was nothing more than a hapless sailor at your mercy."

"But you never talk to me."

"You never talk to me!"

Y/n laughed again, smiling a gummy smile.

"I don't have to talk to you to see who you are, Y/n." Alastor continued, his hand that was in her lap turning so his palm rested gently on her thigh, "You light up any room you're in. You are charming and clever and constantly on the look out for places you can instill your special breed of controlled chaos."

Trembling, he shifted his hand in Y/n's so he held hers, raising it to his mouth. The heat of his breath on her skin drove Y/n wild, her breath hitched.

"I am glad you're not Rosie, I don't want Rosie. I don't want anyone else except for you."

Alastor planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand and Y/n's smile only grew, her tears long forgotten now as she watched Alastor's reflection.

"You are perfect. Please, don't change yourself, don't hurt yourself, trying to be something else. I'd miss you."

Slowly, he let their still clasped hands fall into Y/n's lap.

"Do you see now?"

Y/n turned back to the mirror, her head tilted slightly to one side as she hummed in consideration.

"No." she admitted, "But I think I might be able to start."

"One step at a time." Alastor rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in comforting circles, "I'll be with you the whole way, if you'll have me."

He held his breath, waiting for her reply. Y/n met his eyes through the mirror, her brow furrowed.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Who is Rosie?"

Alastor could have laughed, he nearly did.

"She is a very old and dear friend. I was going to her for advice, that day."

"You? Needing advice?" Y/n paused before shaking her head, "Nah, I don't see it."

She laughed lightly at her own joke and Alastor smiled softly back at her.

"It was advice about you, actually."

Y/n turned herself in his lap, looking up at him with her legs on either side of his own.

"About me?"

"Y-yes."

He cursed himself internally. Alastor hadn't meant to stutter, she just looked too lovely sitting there and looking up at him with her pretty pink lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed.

"Well?" she asked expectantly.

"I..." Alastor felt the heat rising in his own cheeks and looked away, "well, I didn't know how to approach you."

"Wait, you were avoiding me this whole time?" Y/n laughed and Alastor nodded, "I thought I was avoiding you!"

"Wait, you were avoiding me?"

His gaze snapped back to hers and she laughed again.

"Yes! I was terrified to speak to you! You're so cool and hot and just... I'm not good at things like this!"

"You think I'm hot?"

"Is that all you got out of what I said?"

"Maybe."

They both laughed this time. Alastor's chest felt lighter than it hand in years.

"So," he began once they had both calmed down, "is that a yes?"

"To what?"

"To letting me... be... with you."

Y/n smiled, reaching a hand up to his cheek.

"That's a 'will you be with me?' I think actually."

----

Tags:

@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170

A/N Y'all, there were one or two times I almost wrote my name while doing this one. I've been writing x reader fics for eight years, this never happens to me anymore. I think I related a little too hard. I am x reader fic writing too close to the sun.

[complete-clownery]

Human SWK and Mac for the soul

Long rant about the au idea ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Actually they're for my detective au I'm not really talking about but I do have this fun little animatic idea in my head to Michael Bublé - Better be tonight, where MK and Wukong beat up a lot of people behind the scenes in the bar while Macaque distracts the audience with a performance lol haha how silly of me

But yeah the au would be Wukong is a private detective who has already retired, and MK (a young detective working for the police (dw were all about acab here, so Mk would realize how shitty the police system is and leave)) would seek him out for help with a case about some underground Mafia business

(probably something I would do with LBD and the Demon bull family but who knows), and Wukong decides to help him MK and also just teach him stuff along the way while also guiding him away from the police force

(probably something something Wukong worked as a detective in there, jttw event converted into detective cases idk, celestials as the justice system ect ect),

but they would ultimately work together on the case and would cross paths with Macaque (who needs a proper human name) Wukongs former partner (partner as in work related business but yeah they were also fucking), who will probably stab them in the back at some point in the story LBD pressure and whatnot,

but yeah on normal days Mac works a shitty job in an office, but Wukong swears up and down that Mac is up to something shady (and he is kinda right) (also side note: every individual in the office regardless of gender has had an office crush on Macaque at some point lol)

Also Wukong when he worked at the police actually got himself quite the name and so people know about him, kinda was the face of the police force at some point, and MK decides to be a detective bc of Wukong, (but that was kind of a given, even tho in the show before getting his powers MK wasn't really interested in becoming a here and this was also a key plot point in season 4 MK not wanting to do all the crazy magic shit and wanting to go back to being just a delivery boy and sometimes beating up the eventual villain of the week, but whatevs)

They're in their 40s maybe early 50s but Wukong somehow still looks 20-30 years old nobody knows how he does it, everyone else is kinda the same age in the show

They're also in America for this cuz--- this is a 90s 80s detective show just because I want it to be--- how did the characters from China end up here idk :| something something emigration or maybe the au can stay in China idk man Im making up half of this as I'm writing but it's fun I like the rotate my little aus in my brain

But yeah its just a fun little idea in my head that is going to stay just that, never manifesting into something more