#Darkness of Introversion

[mianimasenpoeticus]

[1introvertedsage]

Darkness of Introversion

As an Introvert I’m not really One For starting conversations first. And it’s the dirty looks I always get That seem to hurt the worst. A trap door for my voice Guess you could call me cursed. Not interested in small talk Deep conversation Keeps me immersed.

So how do you whisper When everyone is trained to yell? Insides like a twister Trying to break out of this shell. Trying to fit into their world Nah, I’d rather dance alone in hell. Stuck inside the box. And in the darkness I dwell.

~Ruby L.S.~

[make-death-proud-to-takeus]

Maybe I'm not introverted, maybe I want community, gossiping over a glass of wine, coffee shop dates, dying in some club's dirty bathroom, knowing half a city and saying hello to my favourite restaurant waiter; maybe I got too badly burned too young, just got too scared, settled for living in numbing comfort

[liketwoswansinbalance]

In the modern publishing landscape, these days, I think like we do not have many (if any) point-of-view characters with low social motivation for whatever reason.

Sure, there are lots of characters with social anxiety or other perceived or legitimate foibles to overcome, there are many YA villain origin stories, and there are many unpalatable, traditionally "unlikable" men in classics, but disregarding those, who else do we have?

Can the state of openly being alone (and content) rarely be presented as morally-neutral or as the end result of a narrative? Must it always be that either being alone is the starting point, so there's room for "personal growth," or that being alone is seen as "undesirable" and/or an indication that the person alone has a "problem" or something otherwise wrong with them, like a deficit or moral failing that in some kind of karmic way gives them "what they deserve," which is being alone and discontent with it?

Characters with society anxiety, any differences in communication, or other reasons that interfere with forging connections "don't count" because they may still be motivated. Traits such as these only stand in the way of gaining relationships, as plot obstacles. They aren't intrinsically tied to indifference or to low motivation. So, these characters clearly are not experiencing a lack of interest. And they are not the ones rejecting others. Thus, they "don't count" as far as the archetype that I'm looking for goes.

Characters who undergo villain arcs or otherwise negative arcs may want to maintain their relationships or gain them, so some examples are immediately disqualified (hence not having low social motivation), even if they are the type of character most likely to alienate themselves by a story's end, conflicting with what they wanted.

(Unfortunately, Coriolanus Snow, who is quite close to the type of protagonist I'm searching for "doesn't count" because he has some drive to keep people in his life.

Rafal Mistral partially "counts," and is satisfying as a character, but also doesn't count because he temporarily makes "friends" or allies, depending on how you look at his exploits. Yet, despite all this, not having friends isn't exactly framed as a morally-neutral state either, so he is also disqualified by the end. Basically, he does have low social motivation, but his narrative lacks the conditions that would make the natural consequences of that low motivation play out for themselves. He is always surrounded by people, even if he hates every last one of them.

And, generally speaking, the usual, moody-broody, "misunderstood" YA love-interests very easily "don't count" because they have a desire to get closer to their object of affection.

Even Katniss Everdeen, an overall good person, who usually views herself as "unlikable," befriends others, originally for pragmatic, survival purposes. However, she does start with low social motivation, so that's something in her favor.

And yes, I'm aware that we need other people in this world—I would just like to see someone prove that supposed truth wrong once. And perhaps succeed in their world, if that's not too much to ask for.)

Also, are there any instances of characters who progressively alienate themselves from others, in which that progression is not inherently seen as negative? Like, what about non-corrupt misanthropes? Are there few of those in literature? (Maybe—Eleanor Oliphant from literary fiction counts, but something about that book did not appeal me and I didn't finish it.)

Classics guys sort of "count," but I haven't really seen examples of any comparable protagonists today since many authors and readers write and look for "relatability" in blank slate everyman figures oftentimes.

(I'm not done with Crime and Punishment yet, but Raskolnikov is very tentatively looking like a safe bet for a character who may end up alone and who may not be completely malcontent over such a fate, even if I'm expecting tragedy. I'm that not far along, but I also wouldn't mind it too greatly if he died, I suppose.

And even Sherlock Holmes has Watson as his constant, even if he's notoriously asocial! So he "doesn't count" either.

Carol from Main Street also comes close, but still ultimately desires approval from others.

Maybe no one is truly immune to humanity and I should give up on this notion?)

How many pov characters out there are 1) apathetic toward the masses and 2a) either alienate themselves as the plot progresses or 2b) do not make any friends? (I will allow them making friends and consequently losing them though because that still ends in net zero!)

Indeed, this "gap" in protagonists I've been running into lately, especially with coming-of-age arcs and protagonists whose arc is some form of "getting out of their shell," is: why do we (almost?) never see protagonists who just flat-out don't progress in terms of connecting with fellow humans?

Wouldn't having even a handful of those types be reflective of reality? (We as a society are more disconnected than ever, to be fair, despite constantly having access to one another via technology.)

Or I would completely understand it, if it were narratively impractical to have a plot in which a protagonist makes zero friends. Maybe, it's a near-unwritable form for a story?

So, my question is: does anyone have book recommendations, which present a character whose end goal is not to make friends or forge connections (any other ambitions or motivations are fine) and whose state of being friendless both lasts and is regarded as morally-neutral or as not outright evil? Any genre is fine. High fantasy is preferable. I am stumped.

(I also wouldn't mind recommendations of books in which the protagonist is vilified due to being alone, even if that is not my primary query here.)

[the-soulwhispers]

People don’t understand that we quiet ones are quiet because the conversation’s always playing out in our own heads.

The wheel of time

[raanee]

I am an introvert but I can be fun too, infact, too fun to be called an introvert and too introvert to go to a restaurant and place an order, Idk how to explain this but the best I can do is "I'm not like a regular introvert, I'm a cool introvert" but then sometimes I'm like "I hide that I'm an introvert but secretly panic when I have to place an order" kinda introvert (crying) akshdgdjakahgsdhska help-

[coffeexxcigarettes]

Introvert

-

Better to be alone.

Sometimes.

Like overfilling a cup

With water.

Pushing the mess around

With a soaking towel.

Exhausted.

To no end.

Silence,

Laced with freedom.

x

[ruminiscence]

"Walking is among the most life-affirming of human activities. It is the way we organize space and orient ourselves to the world at large. It is the living proof that repetition - placing one foot in front of the other can in fact allow a person to make meaningful progress. It's no coincidence that parents celebrate their child's first steps - the first, and perhaps the greatest, signs of independence." Hiking with Nietzsche, John Kaag

Upon reading this particular part of the book, I was deeply moved. I have felt this way before; walking allows for so much freedom, especially at one's lonesome. It is an excellent sign of independence, attained when reflective and intentional. If no one has coined it before, I will coin this sensation "lost & found". Lost & found symbolises the transition of going from being in a social (hurried) setting to a solitary (unhurried) setting. This is by no means an attempt at blaming others or pointing fingers at others. This is a mere desire to embrace authenticity, which unfortunately (or fortunately) can only be found when solitary, free from external and social noise or intrusion. At one with nature, with the genuinely free ability to 'orient ourselves to the world at large'.

The less I absorb from others, the less I'm susceptible to certain banalities, ideologies, opinions, etc, which don't align with who I am. This is simply the way of life; we must interact with all kinds of people, and whilst that has pros, it is much easier to lose yourself than to find yourself in such scenarios. Incorporating solo time or taking things slowly (with others too), the less likely you are feel the need to rediscover your identity.

If I were to link this to a broader issue (outside of myself) and, therefore, my desire, I wish people approached one another using an individualistic approach. We are all multifaceted individuals worthy of such. Life is ultimately a game of losing and finding oneself, but the critical thing to learn here is that it mustn't get to a point where you are overly losing yourself, to the point where the urge to find yourself is no longer an urge. That urge is powerful in itself. The awareness has gone and can go at any time, which is such a scary thought. I digress; this is all to say that walking alone is ever so powerful; it's no wonder therapists highly suggest daily walks to their patients!

[ipessimist1]

How solitary and sublime these winter nights have been. I have always preferred the shadows and silence to the endless crowds and commotion of everyday life.

[likelycahoots]

Fun fact about introverts:

the clingiest attention seeking dramatic brats around the people they're comfortable with.

[misssclumsy]

"why didn't you come to the party last night ?"

"I was busy doing something important !"

meanwhile the important work i was doing

[prt-kh]

"Dark academia activities" these people are just describing the life of us introverts

[dontdieonmeyet]

a quiet mind

"you never talk much"

i am told

and i begin to wonder when what i had said

no longer meant something to people

[a-dazzling-wallflower]

I will not let people walk all over me and tell me what to be, how to be. I'll be, and become myself and myself only, unapologetically.

[phill-the-store]

[the-soulwhispers]

"People empty me. I have to get away to refill."

Charles Bukowski