#Ruby L.S. poetry

[mianimasenpoeticus]

[1introvertedsage]

Who Cared

Be who I am, but it's more like too late. At the finish line, or barely approaching the gate and I don't know how much longer I can carry on in this state.  I'm sick of these walls. 

I've always maintained and kept it together.  No burden too heavy - collecting my feathers.  No matter the storm I was sent to weather.  Something inside me stood tall.

From hating my name. My appearance bringing shame. Alley cat or evil beast set to tame. Now once and for All. 

Ridiculed and fooled. What they did to me was cruel. Sometimes I wish I had just drowned in that pool. Or don't wake up next time I fall.

Can they see into my Soul?  Or do they see the gaping hole?  Fire just making me more cold. Full of audacity and gall.

Turned quiet as a mouse. One way ticket to the South. Taking my voice - sewing my mouth and keeping me small.

Maybe I do just have to die.  Then I won't have to keep living this lie. Free birds with wings were meant to fly. Reset settings to default.

The death of me is real. Grab your onions from the field. This hurt in me I had to heal. Care of Sekhmet and Ba'al.

~Ruby L.S.~

21.2023.09

[1introvertedsage]

Jump

⁂

Everything I had, you took it all. Now no one gets close, I've got these walls. Afraid to take a step, for if I fall. Forced to take off running, can barely crawl.

Leaving you I'll feel relief. Seven realizations to keep it brief. Patching up some holes with these new leaves. Away the wind will take me on this breeze.

Mountain climbing was not my suit. Forest dwelling is the proof. Darkness fades, clouds on the move. Freedom harken, breaking loose.

Swimming deep I found a Rose. What got wet, barely my toes. Learning lessons, it's what you show. Humbled deeply and forced to grow.

Quiet growth or making waves. Sequenced melodies make them behave. Feelers growing, oh my days! Learning to revolve these power plays.

~Ruby L.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

When I Listen

It’s like.. The rushing of a busy highway. Like… The back alley of a dive bar And the band is on intermission Going over the lyrics. Next song selected will make Them listen. It’s like.. The hurried and hushed Whispers of an airport. Like… The bustle of a busy street At the end of a workday. Whispers or yells all sound the same. Trying to make out what they say. The interwoven intersections Traffic jammed everyday. Close your eyes - the words tick by As if on display. It’s all in how - you let the mind play.

Waves flow in like tidals. Clarity comes sitting idle. Or waves come in so smooth Supporting your every move With nothing to prove. It’s the silence that bangs out The dopest grooves. And sometimes it’s the blues - sent to Ease my moods. If I didn’t have these guides - Not sure what I’d do. Always pulling me through. So I don’t lose Any parts of me. Sometimes it’s all in what you see. Visions can come by three. And show you how to be free. Just gotta believe.

And now back to that sound That seems to be All around. You can feel it If you touch the ground. Different octaves Float within the clouds. Sometimes it’s loud And you can’t really prove how. You won’t always see it Looking around. It’s a resonance now. Coming from within Way deep down.

~Ruby L.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

The Genie's Price

From every person I meet, know of and speak to. My mind maintains an intricate filing system I can peek through. Dewey decimel-esque - recalling on minute details. Full of life stories and picture mails. It's almost like unwinding someone's entrails.

Fast forward or rewind - plays out inside my mind. I can see a life in colour and times when they went dark. In their final day - or where they got their start. Don't know if this is what I would call smart When most of what I see tends to hurt my heart.

So many Souls that have regrets. And they don't even seem to know it yet. "Yea, whatever you say", "I'll live my life my way!" But it's in my mind always on replay. And continues to haunt me every single day.

I never asked to see anyone's life or maybe I did. Most times what I see isn't nice, I was just a kid. Genie granting wishes thrice - just rub the lid. This is the price - that I was bid.

~Ruby L.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

Molded as a prized hen Jump how high You tell me when.

Caged existence Take it away Say I won't miss this.

Free birds die young by their own hand or escaping your thumb?

Chained melody Sing the song dance senselessly.

You tell me this is free How great it is I'm me. Yet it was you who painted inside my box. It is you holding the keys to my locks.

Living in your world, a facade to my true sight. Open the doors break out of the cage Wings primed for their first flight.

Lone the feather floating from the heavens To brush across our cheek Gracing the lowly and the meek. While the rhythm moves in folds of sevens.

Waited or fated locked away escalated. Barefoot running Jump when you hear the wind coming.

True living is done on the breeze. Reclusive way makers - rabble rousers and meeting makers. Steps of gold come with ease.

Blessings in fours. Can't ask for much more. Corners and points welcoming to the tour.

Blank slates seem great If you have the heart To write your fate. 

~Ruby L.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

🪶Swan in Me🪶

[1introvertedsage]

Stilted Weaver

To keep a simple thought straight… My, would that be great. Yet my mind weaves like a basket. Pull a strand and seal my fate.

But I like it. Think like me, sometimes I wish they would. Peer through the darkness - and see some good. Been so afraid to take off this hood. It’s hard to keep a secret seeing more than you should.

So we flow with the waves as they come. Born defiant - mind wont behave - heart on the run. Tired mind tricks and more games are played under the Sun. As my existence from this reality begins to fade back into the One.

Way up there in the pool I feel consumed. Not squeezed to death - don’t have to hold my breath or feel entombed. Mazes with endless ways, phases and rooms. Four corners behind my back - enhance my blooms.

~Ruby L.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

Internal Articulation

Shall I write something articulate Could it be profound? Read aloud the ring in my voice Carrying just the right needed sound. What happened to my fears The ones holding me back, they drowned. At the city park pool, in my home town.

Save me from myself Or was I found? Retired the mask of the frowning clown. What goes around comes back around. Throughout my childhood Was screamed so loud. But looking back I'll say, I'm proud.

Reflecting on the mirror Not on the ground. I let my darkness fly in the clouds. Submerged myself Gained internal wealth. I like the look of me now.

~Ruby L.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

Blown

Waves of anger with rage and I seethe. Tightened up fists, my hair gets a sharp twist As the air becomes harder to breathe. Biting my tongue, conversation doldrum Grinding what's left of my teeth.  Simple the cause, minds twisted false laws A parrot that was born to please.  Waves then blow cool, still feeling a fool As I watched myself fall in the trap.  Tick, tick, tick, boom - letting the fury consume Reactions warrant back tracks. Opinions or asshole - one and the same Child mind or dead head - still playing the game Just pissing for me to react. Protected or invested didn't ask to be messed with Step forward when the Spirits slap back. 

~Ruby L.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

▪️Touched▪️

What drives us mad is precisely what feeds our Soul.

~I.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

[1introvertedsage]

The Devil I'm Fighting

Careful with their every move. Meditated - the path must remain smooth. Obscured by choice yet commands all attention. Left to assumptions only hints true intentions.

By chance or by design. Ping pongs within the minds. Reverberations of the power they hold becoming more and more frequent. Action has cost no word ever lost fighting to hold back their meanness.

Hatred to the core - disdain for so much more. Take a walk through hell, just cause they were bored Could be evil through and through but they've discovered something new.

Jumping off the cliff Goes much better When you're not stiff.

~Ruby L.S.~

[1introvertedsage]

Changeling

Save me from myself. I don’t know who I am. I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore. Nothing feels familiar.

The ugliness I feel on the inside Stares back at me when I look in the mirror.

Who am I? I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore. Nothing feels familiar.

When the darkness starts to boil over and the bubbles seep out the lid. I can’t clean up the mess fast enough.

Who am I? I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore. Nothing feels familiar.

The backstory and entire life of the serpent Is akin to my own. Slick, unpredictable, calculated, precise, devisive, ruthless, meditated, suspecting, Smart, cunning, shedding skin, Plucked from comfort to experience lifetimes of sin. Where do I begin?

Who am I? I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore. Nothing feels familiar.

I’m my own worst enemy. I know it all but I don’t know me. Picking out their faults For all the world to see. But don’t try me! My entire demeanor is meant to decieve. There’s so much tension inside I just need a release. Is six feet under The only way to be free?

Who am I? I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore. Nothing feels familiar.

Just wanting to be seen For everything I was and accepted for what I wasn’t. But it went wrong. I wore the mask for too long. Same dance - same song. So many lifetimes of being Who I thought they needed me to be. That I completely and utterly lost - Me.

Who am I? I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore. Nothing feels familiar.

Am I truly ugly to the core? The deeper I dig, I still keep finding more. Mind, body, soul and spirit - I’m sore. As the world spins around me I’ve lost track of what I started fighting for. My morality is poor.

Who am I? I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore. Nothing feels familiar.

Time. Time. Time. Time. Time. It’s always about time. Coming and going - hurry up, time’s not slowing. It’s taking too long, am I even growing? Everything I thought I knew. But it was myself - I should have tried knowing.

Who am I? I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore. Nothing feels familiar.

The only person that can find out Is Me. Staying true to myself. Always. Is the only way I’ll be free.

~Ruby L.S.~

Who Am I?

[mianimasenpoeticus]

[mianimasenpoeticus]