#DON'T FUCKING INTERACT WITH US IF YOU ARE ENDO

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More so a vent post:

Something I ABSOLUTELY HATE when singlets come to us is when they mostly ask about "IS SYSTEM TRANSFER/HOPPING REAL?" I'm sorry but MF USE YOUR HEAD! I'm sorry if I'm being aggressive but THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT THAT. mf do we look like computers? Do we look like plug n play virtual pets? MMMHMHMHMM no it's not that's absolute BULLSHIT. Ah yes Plug in that usb port into my brain and put it in the other systems brain yeah yeah yeah so real.

Then they're like "OHHHHH.... I think I was lied to." No fucking shit you were you're speaking to an endo, it's physically impossible to do that, it doesn't make sense. It's not like your alters live in a multiverse. We are identities, fragments that split off or formed due to trauma. endos need to shut the fuck up an accept the fact that they're not SEVERELY traumatized, they're not a system, they're delusional or just a plain ass attention seeker, that this ISN'T FUN, who are HARMING people who actually HAVE this god awful disorder, and spreading false information such as piece of shit shows like Split. Stop saying "system hopping!!" Stop treating our disorder like we're a fucking virtual pet computer. DID/OSDD is a TRAUMA response a way of the brian to FUCKING SURVIVE! There is so so SO much into this disorder that makes you want to fucking off yourself. "Oh I dissociate so I must have it" THERE ARE SO MANY DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS. DID IS JUST ONE OF THEM AND TO THE EXTREME! DO YOUR RESEARCH, TALK TO ACTUAL SYSTEMS, DON'T FAKE A DISABILITY FOR ATTENTION, IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE DID/OSDD GO. GET. PROFESSIONAL. HELP. GO GET HELP. GO GET DIAGNOSED, GO. JUST GO! This isn't fun, this isn't quirky, stop treating DID/OSDD as some grand thing because it's hell, it affects your everyday function in life. Stop spreading misinformation around. Endos are NOT real. Stop Saying bullshit that's not true, stop saying BULLSHIT THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. System hopping, like fuck off. Honestly. And I fucking heard this shit too "you're not a system you don't have fictive you have only 2 alters" OH-OH. OKAY. MAYBE YOU'RE THE ENDO HERE. DID/OSDD IS HAVING 1 EXTRA OR MORE ALTERS AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE FICTIVE IF YOU ARE ADHD/AUTISTIC FICTIVES ARE MORE LIKELY TO SPLIT OFF DUE TO DEEP CONNECTION. If you believe that you have to have fictives and 50+ alters to be system you just gave yourself away that you're an endo. That system we know has 2 other alters that went DORMANT that were brain made not a fictive split. They are still a system. I'm- honestly, what the fuck is wrong with these people??? Honestly??? I honestly fucking can't. ~ ⚠︎

[ocpder]

Non-traumagenics stop acting oppressed for being a system/disabled when you are not disabled because you're not a system challenge

[the-silliness-system]

i just watched the movie up this shit is so sad i almost cried 11/10

[thekids-onholiday]

Really gettin FUCKING TIRED of seeing anti-endos interact or follow us.

Like. Y'all.

Y'ALL.

Did you not read our DNI???

Like- okay. To be real for a second. Anti endos who DON'T tell endos to off themselves or violently fakeclaim and shit on their existence. Y'all are FINE. Y'all just have a different opinion or view than us. But the AGGRESSIVE anti endos who actively tell endos to kts and all that shit? Get out. Full STOP. GET OUT.

We're fucking endo neu??? Why do y'all keep following us or interacting???

You're breaking your own DNI's guys!?!

Plus Y'ALL FAKECLAIM

Y'ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOIN ON WITH OTHER SYSTEMS. WHY DO Y'ALL DECIDE YOU GET THE RIGHT TO BE THE "Yeah you're a system!" POLICE???

WE'RE TRAUMAFORMED AND WE DON'T FUCK WITH FAKECLAIMING OTHER SYSTEMS BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW HOW THEIR FUCKIN HEAD WORKS??? NEITHER DO Y'ALL?! Y'ALL DON'T KNOW HOW THEIR FUCKIN BRAIN WORKS WHY ARE YOU TELLING THEM WHAT THEY ARE OR AREN'T???

[banesberry-anomoly]

LockHost

Ive been looking for a system term to describe myself for a while, and decided fuck it we ball and made one myself

A lockhost is an alter in a system that seems to be the 'main' host, and is almost always fronting. They may also decribe themself as 'front-locked' or 'front sticky,' but this may not always be the case. They may be able to leave front or the front area, but are usually aware of whats going on with front anyways, and they are quite often pulled back to front within a short period of time. Because of this, they usually become the bodies 'main identity' in a system.

Other alters may use the identity of the lockhost as a mask in the case that they do not want to show themself, and may also interact with or control the body via the lockhost. In the case of a lockhost being an introject, it would not be uncommon for several doubles of the lockhosts source to also be present in the system.

Lockhosts may also act similarly to 'Observers,' in that they are always aware of the body to some degree, and can quickly be pulled to front in the case that they happen to not be fronting in the traditional sense. The lockhost may also serve many other roles in the system, but not always.

In the case of a lockhost also being part of a subsystem or side system, they may or may not be a lockhost of those as well.

!!!THIS CREATOR OF THIS TERM IS PRO ENDO. I CANNOT STOP ANTI-ENDOS FROM USING IT BUT DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME OR MY POSTS OR I WILL BLOCK. ENDO NEURTALS ARE FINE TO INTERACT. PLEASE RESPECT OUR BOUNDARIES!!!

We are aware that there is a similar term to this that was made by an anti endo, however this term was coined without knowledge of the post existing. Do with that info what you will, keep us out of discourse. And like we said before, we don't care who uses this term, but we ask that anti endos not reblogged so we don't get dragged into discourse.

[genderqueerdykes]

Thanks for being pro endo. I think I might be traumagenic but I do NOT feel safe in anti-endo spaces because they are constantly looking for "proof" that you are a faker. It makes me on edge in so-called "safe spaces."

Also, I really don't like to disclose to just anyone that I have trauma. It's nobody's business what happened to me when I was a child.

you should NEVER have to disclose your trauma- that leaves you vulnerable for people leveraging that knowledge against you and being re-traumatized or encountering new trauma. that is dangerous and honestly, i am raising my eyebrow at every single person who demands someone divulge their trauma and triggers. why exactly do you need that information? it's sketchy. it's going to be used as ammunition. it has nothing to do with "proving" that ur plural, this is clearly someone who wants to collect this information so they can knowingly use it against you and abuse you.

like, it's extremely obvious. it's not about "proving" that you're traumatized. it's about having blackmail against you. you're on the right track here, this goes to EVERYONE: DO NOT DETAIL YOUR TRAUMA AND TRIGGERS TO INTERNET STRANGERS. DON'T EVEN DO IT FOR YOUR FRIENDS. THIS LEAVES YOU EXTREMELY VULNERABLE.

it sucks. i'm sorry that you've had to deal with this. i barely interact with online plural communities anymore because the fighting is literally so fucking pointless. we're not having conversations about plurality anymore. people like this don't give a singular fuck about the plural experience and sharing how diverse plurality is. all they care about is controlling other people. if you come across people like anon detailed in plural spaces: they do not give a singular shit about spreading correct information on plurality and literally just want to control people.

take care of yourself, try to stay safe out there as best as you can. there are good plurals out there who get you. it's just a very vocal minority who decide that they get to use their 5 minutes of research into dissociative plurality against people who have real world experiences. like the vast majority of the time the people who do this don't actually know shit about dissociative plurality itself, let alone. i'll have people try to offer me "sources" on the matter, but i know that they haven't done research outside of being able to pull up a few papers to look smug and smart. it's old. it's hurting people. all this is accomplishing is hurting people. it's not about helping people understand dissociative plurality. it's about controlling and hurting people on purpose.

[many-but-one]

So, our system spent a looooong fucking time trying to reblog a post by someone that goes by @system-junk-spam but after typing it out it became unrebloggable, and then upon restarting the app we found that either they spontaneously deleted their blog or they somehow blocked us while we were typing something up, despite us having never interacted with them before. That, or tumblr mobile just straight up sucks. Highly probable.

Anyway, we worked really hard on the post and still want to share our thoughts, so we’re gonna put them here. We may get eaten alive for this take, but we’ve learned to not care what others think of us. We are allowed to believe things differently than our followers do and that’s okay. Hate will not be tolerated on this post. If I see it, you are blocked.

This is our theories on how endogenic plurality can possibly exist. We’ve talked about this before but not in great detail. We are literally just gonna copy-paste our response because oh my god it took so long to type out and then transfer to our notes app because the tumblr app was messing up. To TLDR the OP’s post, they were asking for genuine examples of endogenic plurality that wasn’t just someone actually having a CDD and thinking they are endo.

—

So, for starters, I used to be anti-endo. Kind of a dick about it to be honest, but not overly hateful towards endos. I have a post explaining that situation, where I also came forward with explaining that when I was a teen I thought I was an endo because I didn't have trauma—except I did, I just didn't know it yet. I also used to do roleplay—though not as a system, for the record. I just had characters I made that I later realized were heavily based on real alters in my brain and it was that alter's way of expressing themselves before they could be known by the host part at the time. So to say I understand where you are coming from, I understand where you are coming from. I have been that person. I went hard anti-endo at first, but slowly as I've begun healing and deciding "I don't really care what people do in their lives and it's not up to me to police that" I have become what I consider "syscourse neutral" but "fine with endos, I just don't interact with the community much because I'm not endo." Mainly with the feeling of "live and let live" and "they're people deserving of respect too" driving that stance.

I start with all of that preamble because at the end of the day, whether endos "really exist" or not just…doesn't matter. They're not actually taking our resources, they're not seeking out DID specialists because most of them know they don't have DID, and the whole narrative of them "making a mockery of the disorder" is pandering to fake claimers, who are the ones who point and laugh at the disorder whether you are endo or not. Endos are not the enemies of DID systems here, fake claimers are. And whether endos exist or not, fake claimers will still fake claim people with DID no matter what.

If you make this post with the concern that people who say they are endo may actually have a CDD and that can be damaging to their healing long term (it was for me personally) or they may take longer to realize they have a CDD (happened to me), the thing is, they will eventually discover that they have a CDD if that's what they really have. You have all of these examples of people realizing they actually had a CDD because those people eventually realized that's what they had. No matter what, at some point in someone's life, if they have a CDD and the right support, they will eventually realize they have a CDD—even if they initially think they are endogenic.

To go on a personal tangent, it was actually a very good thing that I thought I was endo for so long and got completely alienated from the entire CDD community because if I had discovered I had a CDD at the time, that could have had catastrophic consequences to my safety. When I finally started questioning the system thing again my first year of college, I not only nearly ended my life multiple times (other parts attempting), but I also ended up returning to my abusers and getting hurt again (callback programming, l'm a RAMCOA system). If I had discovered that as a teen? It could have been much worse than it was when I was an adult. I could have been retrafficked if I went back, rather than just reprogrammed and sent on my way, because I was still young enough to be “good product” as a teen, but as an adult they weren’t interested in my “service” anymore, they were more interested in making sure I remained programmed so I wouldn’t report them and they wouldn’t get in trouble. (Joke’s on them, I’m reporting them to the FBI. Suckers.)

My system finally allowed itself to be discovered in my final year of college because I was a mere month away from moving out with my then-fiancée at the time, who we believed could keep us safe should we display harmful behaviors. And we were right, even if she did end up being an abusive POS later. However, I still found out I was a CDD system and did get the help I needed. And even if the situation is not quite as dire for others, if someone who has a CDD believes they are endo, chances are, the system wants that for the time being. And who are we to try to disprove that endos exist just so people will be more accepting of themselves having a CDD? You said it yourself, that people knowing before they are ready can be damaging, so it's really not such a big deal whether or not endos are "real" if that's a way for a system to exist without having to hide while also still kind of "hiding" in a way.

HOWEVER! Now that I have become more open to the concept of endogenic plurality, I have put a lot of thought into "what if it really does exist? How would that happen??" Because gosh, how brains work is exceptionally cool, and if there is a way for endos to be real, that's pretty fucking neat.

So, for the record, I am not endo and I am not fully in their circles nor do I know much about origins whatsoever, so if anyone wants to chime in their thoughts or correct me on something, please do! For this next part, I'm calling endo alters/headmates "parts" just to keep the vocab streamlined and succinct.

Some common themes I notice in endos (for the most part):

They have basically no amnesia between parts

Some can create parts at-will, while others feel like they can't just create parts at will, but their parts just kind of exist

They usually can switch at-will or control switching to some degree or even completely

Some folks usually have some kind of trauma, but that's not saying much because all humans have trauma to some degree or another. Something I've noticed, though, is that this trauma is usually not in early childhood, but in later childhood, teen years, or adult years. (Please know this is not indicative of everyone, just what l've noticed in endos l've spoken to, don't come at me if your situation looks different please!)

All of these aspects come into play for my “theories” on how endogenic plurality can exist. For the record, my “theories” are more like…my own ponderings on the subject rather than something that should be taken as fact. Only endos can decide how they exist, not me.

So initially, my main theory with endos (which l've spoken about once, a while ago) is that it is "IFS on steroids."

IFS functions with the belief that all people have parts, and that to create cohesion in everyday life means finding ways to communicate between these parts and reach healing conclusions between them. Kinda like DID treatment except these parts don't have the "becoming autonomous and elaborating" part of DID. This is often seen in therapy related to addressing your "inner child" or "inner teen" but this can also apply to "the part of me that hates my dad" and "the part of me that wants him to love me." Remember, this is a singlet we are talking about, here! Singlets can also have conflicting and contradictory feelings about their family members. Having a "conversation" between these two parts might look like one of them stating all the reasons why it's better to cut him off because he always causes harm, while the other side may explain all the reasons why they want to keep him around. Weighing these "pros and cons" in this sort of scripted conversation between these two "parts" can help singlets come to an agreement between these two contradictory feelings and find a solution that is best for that singlet "as a whole."

However, what if someone who has parts of self like any singlet does finds a different way to converse with their parts? Or maybe not just converse, but imagine them? Consider that their "responsible self who is good at keeping on track" is the self that they kind of "dial into" at school or work, so that they stay on task—so then later, the part of themselves that prefers to goof off and have fun can have more time to do that. (These may be labeled as a “school/work self” and “home self” by singlets)

Maybe that responsible side of themselves feels like a guy whose name is probably like, Richard. And he's a boring, middle aged, office worker looking dude. And that fun and goofy version of themselves that would rather ignore homework feels like a teen named something funky like Rainbow. Well, the side of themselves that's responsible (Richard) is probably gonna get into a lot of arguments with the fun-loving side of themselves (Rainbow), which can look and feel like an internal debate or struggle of "well I can totally skip this assignment because I have a good grade and my show's season just dropped and I don't wanna fall behind while my friends are caught up" being answered with "um, no, if I don't stay on top of things, I'm gonna fall behind on my schoolwork, which is WAY more important than my show"

See how that can feel a bit like CDD but not actually be a CDD?

These endogenic IFS parts of self might even become slightly more autonomous (or seem slightly more autonomous) than a normal singlet's IFS parts over time, especially if having these internal conversations are a major coping skill during stressful times. These "stressful times" can literally just be "being a teenager" because holy shit being a teenager is stressful!! Does this mean every teen who is an endo in this sort of “IFS way” will grow out of it? No! If this is a positive coping mechanism that doesn't cause harm, they may still have these parts of self well into adulthood or even their whole life. Because guess what? Being an adult is also stressful as hell. It would make sense that these parts would follow them into adulthood.

They may even have traumas they have to address in therapy that these parts of self can help them address. This doesn't mean that trauma is held within a singular part to keep the others safe from the knowledge of said trauma like a CDD system, (even if that trauma is repressed—because even people who are traumatized as adults and non-systems can have repressed trauma) because most likely, all parts of self in this IFS situation are probably either totally aware (if it is not repressed) or totally unaware (if the trauma is repressed) and when it comes time to address said traumas, the parts (while maybe not quite as fully autonomous with completely separate experiences and memories like a CDD system) can still likely be quite elaborate and be very helpful when processing these traumas or negative experiences. Brains are cool! Brains are weird! They do weird stuff to cope with shit! I totally think it's plausible for someone's IFS parts to elaborate to some degree if it helps that person cope with life, even if they don't realize it's IFS or a singlet's version of plurality at all.

Does this mean they would technically be a singlet since they don't have a “genuinely” fragmented consciousness? Maybe?? Who are we to say, you know? If they feel like they are plural even if their consciousness is not fragmented in the same way a CDD system's would be, why not let them say they are plural? They are experiencing some kind of plurality, just completely differently than someone with a CDD-related fragmented consciousness would. Which is kinda neat, if you ask me.

I recently saw a tiktoker who explained they were misdiagnosed with DID, that they'd been re-evaluated by MULTIPLE CDD specialists and been told they do not have DID, but they have some kind of parts influenced by them being schizoaffective. They genuinely have parts of self that feel like they kind of "step in" to handle certain things, with names and appearances to boot, AND this person is very dissociative based on their scores on dissociative scales— which is why they were misdiagnosed by a trauma specialist (not a CDD specialist) in the first place. Their parts are coping skills based on their delusions. Does that make their parts any less real to that person? No, they still exist and they have for a long time, but they are not dissociative parts like in DID. They have some kind of parts that get them through daily life even though they do not have a dissociative disorder. How cool is that!!! They don't cause harm, so they're not something that has to be done away with or anything. This person can just BE schizoaffective with parts. And the therapists are cool with it. Go figure.

I haven’t even gotten to the part where someone with BPD can have schema modes that are kinda like parts. Not to mention that just because people with CPTSD and PTSD may not have fully autonomous ANPs and EPs like people with CDDs do doesn't mean that the person with BPD/CPTSD/PTSD may not try to “purposely” (or accidentally) semi-elaborate those parts by assigning names or identities to help them cope.

For example, if someone has an explosion of anger due to a trigger and that non-autonomous EP is responsible for it, they may associate that non-autonomous EP's anger with someone like, I dunno, Bakugo from MHA. (I know nothing about this anime I just know this is an angry guy don't come for me please lol) So every time this person gets triggered into an anger spiral, they may assign that behavior to a version of themselves that gets really angry like Bakugo, even though it's really just the ANP being influenced by the emotions of the non-autonomous EP. “Bakugo" may never “truly” be autonomous like an EP in a CDD system would be, but that person who has CPTSD or PTSD may feel like they "become Bakugo" every time they get triggered and angry because of that non-autonomous EP's influence. Eventually, the ANP may learn how to communicate with that non-autonomous EP Bakugo and learn coping strategies for “his” anger and process the traumas that caused that emotional response, which can actually help that person heal in the long run. I think non-CDD parts can totally be a helpful coping mechanism for trauma healing. Consider how much easier it is to be kind to someone else rather than yourself. A lot of trauma survivors are incredibly hard on themselves, but may do a 180 for their friends and uplift them when they are struggling with the same thing. If someone with C/PTSD finds it easier to communicate and encourage healing to “Bakugo” rather than themselves and it ends in them healing in the long run, I’d call that a net win.

Like sure, you can say "but they're not actually endo, they just have CPTSD" but like…if they don't have a fragmented consciousness but they feel like they "become Bakugo" every time that angry non-autonomous EP is triggered, wouldn't that kinda mean that they don't have CDD alters but still experience SOME form of plurality? They may have an extremely anxious non-autonomous EP that is like a different blorbo from their shows, or they might name a non-autonomous super depressed EP after Sadness from Inside Out. While they aren't experiencing CDD plurality, one cannot really argue that they aren't experiencing some kind of plurality, right?

And gosh, what about the folks who genuinely don't have serious enough trauma to have PTSD or CPTSD and aren't really needing the IFS parts to cope, but created their parts just because? Why not? Especially if they aren't trying to demedicalize DID a la Astrea's Web or purposely trying to throw vitriol into the community, what is the harm in it? I already mentioned that they really aren't making a mockery of the disorder, fake claimers are. So what’s the big deal, really?

Why can't we as traumagenic systems just let endos exist without concrete proof? From what l've gathered, there have been studies on non-traumagenic plurality (I believe @sysmedsaresexist has shared these studies before but I may be mistaken...sorry for the tag, SAS) so clearly scientists have noticed this is a thing that happens.

Aren't you, as a traumagenic system, fucking sick of fake claimers CONSTANTLY questioning your existence, your reality? Don't you think endos probably feel the same way towards us? Like yeah, we have a lot of scientific proof we exist, but fake claimers will straight up ignore that shit and say the scientists are wrong. Why are we doing literally the same shit? Like come on, put yourself in their shoes! Let them exist whether there's a bazillion studies on them or not! As long as they aren't trying to cause active harm to others or the community (most endos just wanna exist in peace without being constantly fake claimed and harassed, for the record—just like us traumagenic systems!), just let them be! Live and let live. We cannot dictate how they experience their life, whether it's real or not. (I personally think it is, it's just not the same as a CDD—our experiences with plurality are inherently different as a traumatized system of parts.)

I hope my very long ramble was of help to you and others?

Since opening up to the possibility of endos being real and not being so stressed about whether it is or not, l've just been a much happier person overall—not to mention have a much greater appreciation for how cool the brain is and what we as people do to cope with shit. Plurality as a whole is really fucking cool from a scientific perspective. I think being more open-minded and accepting in general will also just make you feel better as a person. We don't need to be asking all these questions, we can just let it be! It's way less stressful, tbh.

[eevees-hobbies]

I’ve made my triumphant return from trying to get ready for university in the fall to bring you ✨this✨

Endo likes jerking off in front of you, but only if you’re playing with your pretty pussy while you watch him. He gets so caught up in watching the way your little hole clenches and drools for him. He can’t help turning it into a competition. His tattooed fist dragging up and down his cock faster and faster, while he leers down at you with a fucked out grin. It’s the one occasion he WANTS to finish you before you. And when he finally does cum, making a mess all over his own hand, he barely relishes in the high. Instead, he’s too busy racing to his place between your spread legs and swatting your hand away from your cunt so that he can slip his nut covered fingers inside. His lips mockingly form an “O” and he’s nodding condescendingly, “there ya go, sweetheart. Just what you needed, huh.” He can’t help trying to humiliate you as if he isn’t the one bordering on desperate for it as he briefly pulls his hand away to scoop up the left over cum from his spent cock- rambling about how you always take his cum so well as his soaked fingers return to your gummy insides and reach for the little spot only he can reach. It’s never long before you’re cumming with his help. Some days you go to bed, satiated and content with that load warming your pussy, but most of the time seeing you dozing off with your legs still spread and his seed slowly beginning to trickle out of your spent pussy has Endo’s dick twitching and he doesn’t let you off the hook until your cunt is swollen and he’s dumped at least two more loads into you.

ALTERNATIVELY could get a similar situation but in a different font with Togame (I’m biased. Everything I say could be about him), Kaji, Ume, KIRYUUUUUU and prolly sweet lil Sakura who’s fascinated and hooked after the first time you let him NUT inside of you (don’t ever say I did nothing for you after I used your cursed word twice)

Baaaaaaaaaby!

I finally crawled out of my hole in the ground last night and came across this in my inbox! How the FUCK did I miss this?! First of all, I'm happy to see you embracing the nut. Nut supremacy should be spread!

Secondly, I hope Uni is treating you well! I don't miss that life at all so I'm sending you FULL solidarity.

Also? This thirst?! I'm not an Endo girlie but I'm not too proud to admit that lines like, "His lips mockingly form an “O” and he’s nodding condescendingly, “there ya go, sweetheart. Just what you needed, huh.” fucking RUIN me.

Content Warning: NSFW below the cut! Written with Togame, Endo (oh god) or Sakura in mind. Somnophilia, creampie, breeding kink, dirty talk. use of Daddy in a sexual way. Grammarly was not consulted, so I apologize if there are any errors. Minors Do Not Interact.

My brain turns off a little bit at the idea of Endo, Togame or Sakura finger fucking their nut back into you. Truly, it's an obsession watching the way it builds up around their knuckles as they push it in deeper into your already spent and quivering sex. Their brows furrow because fuck the sight is hot, and they just need to get a better angle so they can...push...just a little...more in.

They'd pull back to admire their handiwork, and then they'd get the best fucking idea; their cock could be way more efficient.

Sure, you passed out from creampie-induced exhaustion long ago, but this is something that you'd want, right? They'd settle between your thighs, their eyes flicking up to look at your adorable, unassuming sleeping self, and slowly drag the bulging, precum-dripping cock head against your sloppy cunt, already smearing the remnants of the previous session against your clit and labia.

They'd let out a shaky breath as they pushed inside of you. Their eyes rolling all the way fucking back into their skull.

Fuck, this is better, much better, he thinks as his balls already ache for release. His grip on your hips tightens to keep him from losing control too early (Togame would be fine, my jury is still out on Endo, I think he can bust quick but has the libido to be ready again if you spread those legs juuuust right for him, but sometimes Sakura gets so lost in the feeling that he's bursting too early for his liking).

Whatever dream you were having is cut far too short as you feel your body being manipulated in an unnatural way. Your chest feels heavy as you open your eyes and realize that lust-clouded eyes are looking down at you, your legs are pressed against your chest and crushing your tits against the top of your thighs in the process. His mouth is open in an o-shape as he takes in any bit of air to sustain his breathing to keep fucking his cute little incubator.

He's fucking you with so much force that your body is moving up the bed, your head hitting the headboard, and you can't help but wonder how long this has been going on because it feels way too good for it to have just started.

"Fuck, you're awake. Working on giving you another load, princess. Now look up at Daddy and smile while I give you what you deserve."

Any other person might be upset that their partner took to using them in their sleep, but not you, not his perverse, beautiful cumslut of a girl, and he adores that about you. His strong hand reaches down and grips your jaw as his mouth curls into a smirk.

"Look at me when I fill your needy cunt."

And the way you're clenching around him tells him that you're ready to receive more of him. His other hand finds the lower plush of your abdomen, and he pushes down so he can physically feel his cock twitch as he spurts his hot, potent seed into you. He gives you some more final thrusts for good fucking measure, making sure it's nice and deep for your aching, hungry, and fertile womb, and he leans down, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Such a good girl, princess. Again?"

[sysmedsaresexist]

I spoke with Colin Ross again.

The original post, for those who missed it.

This is going to be really disjointed and rough. I've been put in a really weird position and I want to just... talk about it. This is okay to reblog, I'm sure there's pro/endos that have been waiting for this. Unfortunately, it's going to be attached to a vent.

Sadly, talking to him brought up a lot of bad feelings. I'm still so sad to see so many people turn on me. I'm disappointed that there was so much pushback. I'm disgusted by people's hypocrisy.

People wanted to know why I wasn't posting my side of the emails to Colin Ross, they tried to say he didn't believe those things anymore.

So I emailed him again, recapping our previous conversations, and asking him if he still believed in non traumagenic plurality.

And he responded that he does.

I thought I could post it, and that would be the end of it. Proving we had spoken before, confirming the topics discussed. But in my email to him, I shared what I've been doing since I last spoke with him, what prompted me to reach out to him again. The same thing that stopped me from posting my side of the emails originally. I wasn't entirely honest with him, either. I don't think I would have gotten a response if I had talked about tumblr.

And I'm simultaneously so excited and so scared.

This is a man that, in a very vague sense, formed a mentor/professional relationship with me. Our interaction overall was brief, but it was exciting to discuss his work with him, ask him questions that had been bothering me-- I told him about myself, my educational and work background. I used my real email and name. My real school. He's Canadian, we talked about it. I shared real details of my life, and while it wasn't necessarily in confidence, I don't think he would appreciate knowing that I've shared his personal thoughts and emails on tumblr, of all places. I'm not lying or hiding anything in my side of the conversation.

I'm scared.

I'm terrified to post anything that could be linked to me. Even posting this, I'm like, "can people like... reverse edit my picture and get my email?" I genuinely don't know.

I worry about posting the full screenshots with his email, knowing people won't believe me if I don't, but not wanting to have these ridiculously immature people in his inbox. I have encouraged people since day one to find his email themselves and reach out. I figure that the only people who would put in that work are the people who genuinely want to learn.

But then I realized that there are people that could ruin the relationship I made with him.

People that could make it so that I can never contact him in this way again.

People could use this to find me, if they get Colin Ross talking. (The rational part of my brain says he's smart enough not to give someone else my name, but goddamn, some of you people are actually dangerous)

There are people that want to do that to me. People that hate that I even brought a professional into this conversation. And I get it. I sat on the original conversation for almost three years, remember?

It's really scary to admit you're wrong, that you've been close-minded and hardheaded. It's scary to confront your bias and actions.

But having him respond to me... I feel so lucky? Not that Colin Ross is a saint, but how often do you get to meet someone like him? How often do you have a chance to take advantage of a professional contact that seems willing and happy to have these kinds of conversations with you? Three years later and he remembered me. He took the time to answer me, again.

I don't want to fuck that up.

So I thought about reaching out to certain people, showing them the entire set of emails without any blockout and having them vouch for the authenticity.

Then I realized that I wouldn't trust any of you anti endogenic systems with any of my information after how you've all behaved.

And I realized that none of you are going to change your minds, no matter what I show you, and I'd rather to maintain my professional relationships than put any more effort into any of you.

And I know if I wait too long to post this, people will call it fake, so I either need to go ahead and make this post or just kind of let it disappear into obscurity.

It's so important, though.

Isn't it?

I can't tell anymore.

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi sophie, I'm the host very small traumagenic(could be otherwise) group(we don't ..I was hoping to give a little more perspective into why we consider ourselves "endo-nuetral". Also if this is not the correct term, maybe you can suggest another one?

We do not really care for system discourse, we find it very difficult to interact with people when they are so stuck on stances, orgins, validity etc. just so they can argue. It's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" type of situation that's very exhausting for us, we don't have the spoons to constantly go back and forth, or try to prove of convince others to just shut up and take others point of views into consideration. We am are not anti endo at all, plurality comes in all sorts of forms and that's basic knowledge, but we use it to signal to others "we are not gonna argue about endos with you, fuck off". Ultimately we love seeing other people's opinions, and their thoughts, and their stances on certian things. But like, yk, it's just so irritating being pulled at the limbs by both sides for having opinions.

So I'm searching for a better term to just if you could possibly assist with that?

You're probably not going to like my opinion, but I think the only valid stance is pro-endo.

Like, you believe endogenic systems exist... I'm sure you agree that endogenic systems have a right to exist and not face hate for being endogenic... that's pro-endo.

If the only reason you're identifying as neutral is to avoid syscourse, that's probably going to have the opposite effect. It puts you in the middle where endogenic systems won't feel safe with you, and probably is going to encourage anti-endos to interact and argue. The reason being that they see someone on the fence, whose mind they can potentially change.

So... why not just be pro-endo? Why not embrace it?

I think the better way to signal "we are not gonna argue about endos with you, fuck off" is to be proudly pro-end, make it clear that you won't participate in syscourse, and you won't change your mind because you know that plurality comes in all forms.

Sure, you may still get hate. But it's only going to be coming from one side, and probably even less from that side because they know they won't be able to bully you into submission.

I just don't see the value in taking any sort of middle ground. It's not going to keep you out of discourse. It's not going to protect you from anti-endos. And it's actually likely to pull you more into discourse than if you had actually firmly picked a side.

[thecouncilofidiots]

I may be slightly heated

I know we don't usually post a lot about syscourse

Technically speaking, we only identify as "endo safe" and not "pro endo", NOT because we don't actively support and accept endogenic systems, but because we are anti-syscourse as a whole

We don't believe in the practice of harassing others for having different beliefs, and just avoid/block anti-endos

But I HATE when people attack and disrespect my friends, my people, for not fitting perfectly into some arbitrary mold

Endogenic systems, non-dissociative systems, non-system plurals, ect, we don't give a shit who/what you are, you are safe with us

And if you're an anti-endo or sysmed who isn't willing to listen to and respect others? Who harass and fakeclaim and spread hatred?

Get the FUCK off our page because we do not want to interact with you.

[bloodiest-sicknesses]

Okay Intro!

Okay firstly we’ve made like three intros before this and this is getting annoying so this will be quick.

==================================

We are ;

Pro para (stance vary between headmates)

Proship (views vary between headmates)

Pro endo

Pro rad queer (opinions on them vary between headmates)

Bodily minor

==================================

Headmates who use this blog are ;

Incelbur, Simpbur, Alexis

Ranboo, Tommy, + MANY MANY MORE!!

Warning ; If a headmate is anti - rad queer, DO NOT INTERACT! We don’t give a flying fuck if you want to change their mind, don't fucking harass them for different opinions. Same goes for Anti - ship headmates and anti - para headmates. If someone says something offensive, we’ll apologize but they don’t have to apologize if they really don’t want to.

==================================

Fuck off if ;

Anti - Endo

Thats about it. We don’t want to piss people off that much but this blog also has triggered warnings for ;

Self inflicted injuries, Eating disorders, suicidal thoughts

Sickness (mental and physical), abuse, venting (both source related and not)

Hypersexuality, Nfsw, possibly nude art

And more.

==================================

We are not collectively taken, some headmates may be looking for a partner, some may not, though we collectively hope to gain a partner system (application form might be made)

==================================

Cis IDS ; Autistic, POC, Hated, Bullied, Hypermania, Plural, Dreamway system

Trans IDS (varys between headmates but collectively) ; BPD, Histrionic Personality Disorder, Bipolar, Truamaendo, High headcount

Tris IDS ; Plural, Hyper Dependent, Gateway system, Mixed origins system

Perma IDS ; N / A

==================================

Headmates intros!

Horn!

Incelbur + Simpbur

[justanothersyscourse]

I think this blog is blocked by fewer people that have heard the rumors and lies going around. I hope you'll read this. There are three sides to every story-- yours, theirs, and the truth.

I deserve to get my side out there so people can make informed decisions about who to follow or block, or whatever it is you need to do. It's okay not to support me, but do it for the right reasons.

I also run sysmedsaresexist, and I'm currently being accused of harassing a minor and sending random ass asks left, right and center.

Listen, if you got an ask where the person didn't say, "this is SAS," it's not from me. I HATE asks. On the rare occasion that I send them, I always tell people who I am. I am well aware that I'm a controversial figure. I want people to know who they're interacting with when I talk to them. I am old. It's important that I'm honest with the people I interact with. A lot of people really stepped up to support me, but I would like people to stop. Unfortunately, it's doing more harm than good.

With every one of these messages people send in support of me, the rumors get worse.

I want to defend myself, but I don't know how.

Send a vent to a vent blog that just actively lied about me? They won't post it. (They didn't, I just checked)

So I'll post it myself. You can make your own decision. All posts I've made on the topic are linked here (it's 5, compared to the DOZENS AEV has posted)

This will be my last post on the topic, and I hope that the people spreading these rumors will leave me alone. You've done more damage and harm to me than you know, and without any remorse or apology.

Ask sent to @anti-endo-haven :

I'm SAS and I'm so hurt.

I have not sent ANY anons to AEV, at all, at any point. I have not ASKED anyone to help me in this,

I made 5 posts. They have made about 50 at this point, all cruel.

The first was to AEV on their first post, which was NOT as rude as people say. I said, look webmd and mayo clinic isn't going to hold up to some of the articles that endos are throwing at us. Try some of these. I said, look, you're going to get really tired of hearing the same endo arguments. Here's some points you can throw back at them.

NOT TO MENTION THE MISINFORMATION IN THE POST. Dissociation is only trauma based? Incorrect. Maybe you should reconsider whether you're ready to be in these conversations.

That response was hidden.

The second post, I was correcting an endo that DID wasn't a trauma disorder. I tagged AEV and said, "see, you can be nice about corrections, and these are the kind of sources you should use."

I was blocked.

THIS IS WHEN I CHANGED LABELS. I was so disappointed in the community that I said fuck that, that's not what I want to be, I don't support this behavior. That's another person that AEV turned pro endo. Good job.

Then I saw the anon saying I was an endo. I used my other blog to POLITELY say, "This isn't true, please stop posting about me like this." This post is still on JAS, I didn't delete it like people are claiming

The fourth post was me making my own public post saying, "this child is throwing a tantrum over corrections. Now l'm pissed and I have to make my own public post so people don't believe those lies." This was the first rude post. I called AEV a blemish, and here's why.

I just made a MASSIVE post about dissociation that is actively being spread within the endo community now. All because I changed my label. I don't care if you all want to block me, but don't pretend that you're all doing anything to help by making bad resources for an audience that already believes the same stuff (all these new antis). Now all the new ones are spreading the same bad sources that don't hold up, and we all (yes, you, me, them, the next CDD system in line) look bad for it.

AEV couldn't provide a single source that said DID WAS trauma based, only "usually" trauma based. AEV actually made antis TURN PRO ENDO, because they used so many sources that said "usually". I offered him sources that said it WAS trauma based.

I'm not kidding, you can find the people that changed sides on sophieinwonderland's blog. This is what happened. I don't need to be polite as pie to people inadvertently harming the CDD community, but I certainly wasn't rude about it

My final post, the fifth post, on the subject was the sad one. "My main was leaked." There are people that stalk my blogs. They send me threats and long asks about the things they'd do to me if they found me. When sophie first came to tumblr, I'd get asks about what people wanted ghost to do to me. In the past, every time a new doxxer comes out of their gross hole, I start getting doxxing threats. l've had people get close to my area.

My main being released means those people are one step closer to actually finding me. It means I'm now getting these kinds of messages in my only safe space.

And the anon who sent my main admitted it was done maliciously. We had a falling out like two years ago, because their asks were getting creepy. When I APOLOGIZED TO THEM for ever hurting them because of my own avoidance issues, and told them that on this post, their response was, "well I enjoyed sending them so fuck you." If I ever find that post deleted, I've got a screenshot. You were NOT a minor at the time, you're an adult.

... Nice, really mature. You're definitely safe for minors.

Hey, also, minors, if an adult you just met online calls you "my kiddo", don't respond with an ovo face. Run.

Adults, if you call a minor your kiddo and they're like, owo really, I'm your kiddo? Fucking run.

Anyways.

I haven't said anything since. What can say. My main is out and I'm getting threats on it. Currently. Not "in the future," like the person said. It's happening NOW.

What do all you people want from me? I AM trying to leave you all alone. Stop saying such terrible things about me, godDAMN. I am not harassing minors. I don't want to harass anyone.

WHAT DID I ACTUALLY DO WRONG? I don't understand.

You're not the good guys you think you all are.

Not anymore.

I don't know that you ever were.

[system-community-corner]

I just.. want endos to leave the syspunk / systempunk tags alone. Better yet, endos leave systems the fuck alone. This is coming from someone who used to be extremely pro-endo, btw. This is coming from a system that used to identify as endogenic - and then mixed origin.

You lot have pluralpunk. Willfully invading spaces you are not welcome nor wanted in is shitty. You all are like.. the apple snails of plurality. Invasive, toxic, and deadly.

You steal shit that does not belong to you and warp it to fit your values, even if that means shitting on victims in the process. It feels like, as of late, ESPECIALLY if it means shitting on victims in the process.

At least I have the "inside knowledge" that, yes, a lot of endos & pro endos intentionally interact with anti spaces to "win one over." Fuck man. While I was in the community, it was actively encouraged, celebrated, to be in an anti endo server as an endo or pro endo. I do not doubt it is any different, considering the fact that behavior has continued.

You aren't doing the activism you think you are. You aren't winning over anybody with that behavior. An anti endo is not going to be more willing to listen to you if you invade their spaces. In fact, I am willing to bet that they'd be LESS likely to listen. They'll be hurt, upset, and rightfully angry at you. As you intentionally and willingly broke a clear stated boundary, and continued to do so repeatedly. Anyone would be upset over that.

You have to intentionally cross tag. You have to intentionally make the effort to type that shit in and make a post. On that basis alone, you are an asshole who is clearly stating "I do not care about other people's feelings, I only care about mine in this matter". You are the problem here.

This also applies to anti endos as well, mind you.

You aren't doing activism by invading peoples safe spaces - EVEN IF YOU think it shouldn't be a safe space. Even if you think that the other person does not deserve a safe space for whatever reason, to intentionally shit all over that and repeatedly violate that boundary means you are a shitty human being.

There is really no debate on that aspect. If you intentionally seek out people to invade their space - knowing they do not want you there. Knowing that you are not welcome. You are the problem person. You are the asshole for that action. This applies outside of system vs. plurality shit as well.

it costs zero dollars and zero cents to leave people the fuck alone.

It costs zero dollars and zero cents to not spread medical misinformation.

It costs zero dollars and zero cents to be kind and compassionate individual.

It costs NOTHING, absolutely fuck all, to not invade peoples spaces.

Btw, endos, pro endos, don't bother debating me. I know your points, I know your topics, I know your sources. I know these things because I USED TO BE YOU. I used to parrot the same shit until I realized that I was actively groomed to believe those points. Until I realized that I was manipulated into supporting that community. Until I realized I was fed blind hate towards anti endos + "sysmeds." It took me YEARS of therapy to realize how I had been suckered into your community and how they preyed on a young, impressionable child - one that was open about colds abuse. How multiple members of your community furthered that abuse and willingly used the fear of not fitting in with my peers to feed me the dogma they believed.

You're welcome to comment, but know I will not be giving you the time of day. I know that even if I do not say "you're welcome to comment" that there will be a good few of you who do so anyway - completely refusing to understand the message of my post.

[pluralhottakes]

seeing anti Endos make “anti-endo help blogs/safe spaces” is so fucking funny because…. you guys are safe in all fucking system spaces!! I have never ONCE seen someone get fake claimed JUST bc they are anti endo !!

Jesus Christ these cunts are so fucking obnoxious

Anon, this is the funniest thing to us like what do they need help with?

What do they need to be safe from?

They're the ones causing the damn issues, like invading pro-endo and endogenic spaces and being miserable haters.

Like every time one of those blogs pops up we laugh. They don't need them.

Then the blogs that post positive things but tell endos and pro-endo traumagenic systems not to interact with the positive post like hello it's not positive if you're excluding people.

Those blogs make me laugh so much.

Seriously.

[antiendovents]

i’m so sick of endo culture being everywhere on this website. we discovered our system only in january, and when we learned what endos were we instantly thought that idea was absurd. but recently a lot of our close mutuals are getting really loud about being pro endo, which we didn’t know at the time of becoming their friends. i feel so gross being mutuals with these people and publicly associating with them in the past, but i don’t want to cut them out of my life entirely because i’m still attached to them and i’m scared of being“problematic” on here since this is the only space where i can be myself. i don’t want to be rude to endos because they’re usually just traumagenic systems in denial, but i’m also so sick of them fetishizing and romanticizing such a serious fucking disorder. as much as i love my headmates if i could choose to be a singlet i would always do it in every life. i wish i didn’t have to pretend to be “neutral” on syscourse, whatever that means. the idea of endogenic “systems” is such chronically online shit. i wish they would just be ok with roleplaying or stop using our tags and our terms because jesus christ this is a dissociative disorder that resulted from trauma and plurality is not the only symptom of it.

-❄️

yeah. We found out about endos not long after joining Tumblr. By then though we already knew we were a system for a while; and the idea of endos was disgusting. It made us so angry we wanted to delete Tumblr as a whole for it. I get how you feel with the mutuals, we've gotten attached to people too and then had to unfriend them / block them later on due to their actions or their beliefs and it sucks but sometimes it's necessary. If you feel gross just interacting with them or having them before your mutual that isn't good, I would recommend trying to do so, but only if you think you can safely (as in you're ready mentally and you won't be harassed or anything). Your feelings of anger are valid, and while I won't condone being rude to them for no reason I will say that endos do not deserve respect; they are ableists, ableists do not deserve respect (don't go out of your way to harass them, but don't necessarily feel bad for blocking them or arguing with them if they come to you, you know?). They're disgusting and seeing them in the tags is just so horrible, it's like we're actively being mocked and everyone else is just closing their eyes and turning their backs on us. No one treats endos as what they are; ableists and it's kind of sad. It's sad because people act like it's "not that serious" or like we're "overreacting" when we complain or bring up how harmful they are.

(sorry rant)