#Crack ish~

[viciousbite]

Attributes

"Cursed to be this pretty and deadly."

[snaky1ello]

Memes :3

[ominouspuff]

Repurposing GAR armor towards the end of pulverizing wrinkly Sith

— A guide by CC-1010, ecstatically-ex-marshal commander of Coruscant

A what-if au featuring the Corries pulling all-nighters fueled on caf alone to study republic law, Fox providing his own dubious legal representation resulting in the wildest civil court case in Republic history, and, they can only pray, formidable and clandestine cooperation within GAR high command’s clone contingents via a small-scale GAR-approved candy brand

[lurkinginnernarrator]

Cang Qiong's rumor mill has a new topic.

Peak Lord Shen hasn't been seen in two weeks. The last time he was seen was flying back from An Ding, where he purportedly commandeered some unknown objects from An Ding's storerooms after a hasty discussion with Peak Lord Shang. He entered the Bamboo house and hasn't emerged since.

The most popular theory is Peak Lord Shen is conducting some sort of toeing-the-line-of-taboo ritual.

Eventually, someone convinces Mu Qingfang to do a wellness check.

The Qing Jing disciples greet their Mu-shishu respectfully, the disciple escorting him to the Bamboo House inquiring as to the nature of his visit, seeing as 'Shizun wasn't expecting shishu today.'

"This master is merely here to visit your Shizun."

The disciple bows after announcing Mu Qingfang's arrival.

Mu Qingfang opens the door.

"Shen-shixiong?"

"Mu-shidi? To what do I owe the pleA—FUCK get BACK HERE YOU ARE NOT"—the sounds of struggle reach Mu Qingfang's ears and he leaps to action, striding in to take stock of the situatio...n.

Shen-shixiong is flat on his stomach; outstretched hands tightly grasping a precocious ball of fluff. His eyes gleam in victory, the scene casting it in a more crazed light. There is a heaviness to Shen Qingqiu's eyes that cultivation cannot banish and miscellaneous stains on his person. And, looking around, the Bamboo House is a disaster. Books, brushes, scrolls, inkwells and fans are scattered around, many haphazardly dropped on the floor. There is. Also. Hay?

Mu Qingfang freezes in the doorway. Ball of fluff and Shen Qingqiu also freeze.

"Is... Shixiong alright?"

This seems to snap Shen Qingqiu into action. He scrambles up firmly but with care, cradling the fluffball. Shen Qingqiu gets himself in order as best he can with both his hands occupied and clears his throat.

"Ah...Yes. this master is fine. To what do I owe the pleasure?..."

The fluffball twitches, wriggling until Shen Qingqiu loses his grip on it. It hops to the floor. A juvenile Whitecrested Snowrabbit of Agility stares up at Mu Qingfang.

"This. Shidi could come back at a more opportune time?"

The bunny starts chewing on a scroll.

"I believe that would be best."

Mu Qingfang backs out of the doorway.

He does send tea to help with Shen-Shixiong's fatigue and a subspecies of carrot that Whitecrested Snowrabbits are supposed to favour though.

I wonder what the next topic of Cang Qiong's rumor mill will be?

[zivazivc]

What was Ish and Lena's relationship?

I made so much for this ask, don't look at me 🫣

The two trolls had a short summer romance at a "no boarders" music festival called Fusion Fest. Back then it was a pretty new and small thing, and the point of the festival is for trolls from all genres to come together and enjoy each other's music and company; celebrating togetherness and acceptance.

(Yes, I made a logo. 😅 This festival is a major annual event for the mixed trolls in my AU.)

Ish and his friend group went to check it out because they're already a colorful ensemble of different genres, and they were curious to see what it was about.

Lena and her friends somehow caught wind of the festival in their backwater village where nothing new or exciting ever happens, and they decided to go to rebel against their closed-minded, racist parents and community, but mostly because they were bored teenagers who'd never seen any trolls other than Rock Trolls before. Despite them wanting to experience something new, their reason for going was very much NOT the point of the festival; They were treating it more like a freakshow to stare at, and them rebelling against their parents was more just to anger them and not because they were any better...

In my mind Lena is very attractive (in a trashy, grunge kind of way), and a 16-year-old Ish immediately got a crush on her from across the room.

He put his Funk moves on her and left her completely flustered from how forward he was. I imagine he was really charming and smooth, but also I can't stop cringing and comparing it to bird mating dances lmao.

(The song Ish is singing to Lena. It makes it feel extra perfect because I just happened to learn the singer was also a 16-year-old when recording it!)

Lena didn't fall for him as hard as he fell for her at first, but she's one of those girls who will go for any bad boy that looks intimidating, and she thought funk trolls were scary and intimidating, because she was subconsciously racist herself too. 🧍 She did really start to like him after they hooked up though, and started liking him for him (so at least she was learning...)

But then they were faced with an unexpected surprise one morning after waking up from a night of concerts and partying (and mixing of substances that shouldn't be mixed)...

Ish panicked hard, he even tried getting rid of the egg, claiming it had to be a dud given the circumstances, but Lena stopped him saying she felt it move. Thank god, because Leslie hatched only minutes later.

Ish was so freaked out that he abruptly left and headed back to Funk Kingdom in the same day, and just abandoned Lena with the baby.

Lena was also very scared but she immediately warmed up to little Leslie and had no intention of dropping him off at an orphanage or doing something similar, despite her friends' encouragement to do just that, claiming her parents were going to kick her out if she showed up back home with a mixed baby.

I'm thinking Ish did try to reach out to Lena by sending her a letter a few weeks later (he got her address before the egg thing happened), but the letter never reached her because she really was disowned and kicked out of her parents' house when she came home and refused to give her baby up...

So Lena never heard from Ish again, and the next time Ish heard about Lena was about 9 years later when Leslie turned up looking for him with his baby brother, and he learned that she was gone...

(Ish having a weird day where he went out after Kymani poorly relayed a confusing phone call from the police station, and later came back home as the sole caretaker of two neglected kids.)

[trash-ainu]

Is this anything, or

[wikiangela]

here we are together underneath the Christmas tree

written for @bucktommywinterfest prompt: December 22-28: Christmas/Hanukkah and/or firefam holiday party just a silly lil smth, idk what this is lmao

Merry Christmas <3

rating: G words: 1.1k

[also on Ao3]

“Hey, Tommy.” He hears Maddie’s voice, and turns his head to smile at her. He’s leaning against the doorway to the living room, a drink in hand. He’s looking out at the party still going strong in the living room, people mingling, drinks pouring, festive music playing. “What are you doing standing here all alone?” She joins Tommy, leaning against the doorframe opposite him. “Where’s my brother? I was starting to think he’s glued to your hand,” she jokes, and it gets a laugh out of Tommy. “He’s a little busy.” He nods towards the corner of the room, where a joyous laughter erupts at that very moment. There he is, Evan, shining brightly like a beam of sunshine, while he’s entertaining the younger kids. He looks so in his element, playing with them, goofing off, helping them unpack their gifts, and the kids love him. Tommy knows he has the most fond and lovesick expression on his face, and he doesn’t even want to hide it. This is his man, and he loves him so much – and one day, hopefully, they’ll have their own kids who will look at Evan this adoringly. They’ve talked about it briefly, they know where they stand, and as scary as it sometimes seems, Tommy’s so excited for a future with Evan. “And I’m just taking a little break.” Tommy shrugs with one arm, eyes scanning the room, feeling a little wistful tonight, but also awed and grateful that he’s here with all those amazing people. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming. “He’s so good with them.” Maddie comments, a grin on her own face. Tommy hums in agreement, and then her attention is back on him. “You okay?” She asks. He can feel her piercing gaze on the side of his face. He must not be able to hide the slight melancholy from his expression that well.

“Yeah,” he nods, taking a sip of his drink. “Yeah, just- I’m not used to… all this.” He nods towards the room, hoping she gets what he means. Evan playing with the kids. Hen and Athena sipping wine and gossipping on the couch. Bobby talking to May and Denny while he cooks in the kitchen. Chimney, Karen and Eddie laughing about something loudly. Other familiar faces from the 118 all around, gathered here at the Christmas/housewarming party at Bobby and Athena’s new house. They all seem so close, like a real family. Tommy doesn’t know this kind of familiarity, not from work, not among friends, not even from his own childhood home. “I’ve never really had this, you know? The last few years at Harbor have been amazing, all my coworkers are great friends, it’s just-” he stops, shakes his head. The alcohol made his tongue a little looser than he’s comfortable with.

“Not really family. Not like the 118 are.” Maddie finishes for him, understanding in her voice.

“Yeah,” he whispers.

“Well, you’re a part of this family now.” Maddie places her hand on his forearm, a soothing gesture. “And once you’re in, there’s no going back, you’re stuck with us now.” He sees her reassuring smile out of the corner of his eye.

“Thank you.” He says, still watching his boyfriend, and feeling his heart swell with love. For Evan, for this amazing family that welcomed him with open arms, for all his old and new friends, for getting this chance. Not only did he get the love of the most amazing man he’s ever met, he got a whole family, too. He never thought this would happen when he answered that phone call from Howie months ago.

Speaking of, Howie shows up next to them, holding up a branch of mistletoe over his head and grinning.

“Hi, can I get a kiss?” He asks.

“Of course, honey-” Maddie starts to answer, but Howie quickly interrupts.

“I meant from Tommy.” His tone is teasing, and Maddie laughs loudly, Tommy joining her. How much did he have to drink? “I’m serious. Come on, Kinard, you’re the only one left.” He smirks, and Tommy glances at Maddie. She just shrugs, chuckling slightly.

“Fine.” Tommy rolls his eyes, but leans down and- and he swears he means to kiss Howie’s cheek. He swears Howie gives him his cheek to kiss. But then he turns his head and their lips meet, for just a split second. Maddie laughs again. Howie’s grinning at him when he pulls away.

And then Evan materializes seemingly out of thin air, as if he crossed the whole room in a split second.

“What’s going on here?” He asks innocently, but suddenly he’s plastered against Tommy’s side. Tommy can’t hide his amusement. Evan is adorable. “Why are you kissing my boyfriend, Chim?”

“Mistletoe.” Howie shrugs, waving the branch. Evan doesn’t look impressed. 

“Maddie, your husband is kissing my man.”

“I know, I’m right here.” Maddie laughs. “As long as they don’t fall in love,” she jokes with a shrug. “Or we’re gonna have a real problem, Kinard.” She adds half-seriously, and, well, Tommy’s seen Evan’s jealousy, he knows not to mess with a Buckley.

“I have everything I need right here.” Tommy answers, his arm wrapping around Evan’s waist. “You need a mistletoe kiss, too, baby?”

“Like a hundred.” Evan nods. “To erase the image of you kissing my brother-in-law, ew.” He makes a face, and Howie pretends to be offended. 

“Let’s go find mistletoe, then.” Tommy laughs, grabbing Evan’s hand. 

As they walk away, he can see Howie finally using his own branch to kiss his wife, and then twirling her to the music, before kissing her again. They’re really an adorable couple.

Evan leads him to the middle of the living room, where a mistletoe hangs on the overhead lamp, and kisses Tommy so deep and hungry his brain short-circuits. They hear whistles and groans and shouts to get a room, and Tommy laughs into Evan’s lips. He’s never had this, either, being able to be so open and public with his relationship, so accepted. Everyone will tease and make fun of them for being so sickeningly in love, and Tommy will adore every second of it.

“I love you.” Evan whispers, eyes sparkling happily. “You’re all mine.” He adds, voice determined, and Tommy can’t help a loud laugh that escapes him. Oh, Evan’s has his own heart.

“I love you, too, Evan.” Tommy sighs. He doesn’t think he’s ever been happier. He’s surrounded by so much love and family and happiness – and he has his whole world right here in his arms. He never thought he’d have anything close to this, and he’ll forever be so grateful he got this. He doesn’t need any gifts this Christmas, he already has everything he needs.

[also on ao3]

[loonybun]

whumper who literally just uses an immortal whumpee as an organ farm. like yes we love to see an entrepreneur on the black market! make those profits!

[cheebuss]

How about soldier warrior cats? Pls 🥺

Super late but STARCLAN BLESS MURICA'!!!

[chickenkurage]

Possible new AU? (Duck Alan AU?????)

Where in canon happens, except around Showdown, Alan got extremely worried that Second and the others hadn't come back yet. So he uses his brand new VR headset that he had bought (was planned to use it so he could finally meet and talk with the stick figures, but forgot)

He hadn't set a model for his VR so he used his ROBLOX character as his model, except the VR had twisted it and turned his whole model as a Duck. (His ROBLOX model is a duck head XD). So he sets his way towards the portal and was able to stop Second before he could kill Dark.

What he thought he would look like.

Versus what he turned into.

Second was confused when he saw Alan, cause why was there a random Duck trying to get his attention?

Alan is swimming through the water so he could get to Second and the others (He still has not noticed he was a duck, he thought he was just extremely good at swimming, and awfully small for some reason)

Now onto some doodles! Duck Alan with his kids!

VICTIM

Here Victim discovers Alan was in the outernet and kidnapped him, and instead he was disappointed to find Alan looking like a Duck instead of the "Scary Cursor" form he had. So now his revenge was in shambles and forgotten since Alan had disappointed him so much in such a short time.

(Alan bothers Victim frequently by sneaking inside Rocket Corp)

Alan sad mode because he got kicked out of Rocket Corp again.

CHOSEN

Alan also fell asleep behind the VR as well (thank goodness he was laying on his bed) He totally did not sneak around and carefully laid himself down on top of Chosen.

DARK

Initially, after the Showdown and Alan saving Dark from Second (by distracting him for looking like a duck). Alan has now fixed Dark's code, and he is much more chill now, since he has no voices telling him to destroy everything.

Though he is still mad at Alan (It's just hard to be mad at a cute looking duck, even if that duck is Alan himself, or so he tells himself that)

Alan is secretly very happy to see them all in person, so he cant help but stare at them in awe.

SECOND

Alan has no legs, i like to think he just glides around the place since that's just a VR model XDDD.

In the end, Alan had the chance to change his model, but he kept it because the others are much more kinder to him in that form XDDD

Where did i get this AU idea? Uhh *looks at the AvG roblox gameplays* i don't know either tbh. - S

[ai-the-broccoli]

in which Light and Misa discuss Celebrity RPF

(based on this thought)

Misa: *holding her laptop* Hey, Light. Light: What? Misa: *cheerfully* So do you think RPF is okay, or should we start killing people for writing it? Light: ... What are you talking about? Misa: RPF! Real Person Fiction. It's like fanfiction of real people. Light: Oh. Well, that isn't a criminal activity. We don't need to kill people over fanfiction right now. It's still too early for that sort of thing. Misa: Oh, okay! *glances back to her laptop* --Wait! Why are there 5 shipping fics about YOU?! Light: Me? Oh, yes. People do seem to like to write wildly implausible fanfiction of all sorts about Kira. There are thousands of them online, you know. (Last time I checked, every single one that I could find was unbelievably horrible and out of character, and one of them even depicted me committing the illegal act of cannibalism, which is a crime and masterfully confirmed to me once again that the world is rotting and only I can save it. But now that I've confirmed the state of things for the time being, raising my blood pressure repeatedly for no purpose will not aid me in becoming the god of the new world, so I set a password to restrict my own access to the three fanfiction websites.) Misa: No! I mean, yes, duh, but that's old news. Of course I know thousands of Kira ship fics on every corner of the Internet. But these five are not fics about "Kira". They're tagged with "Light Yagami"! Light: ...What? Misa: Yeah. And-- Light: *frowning* Misa, hang on. Why are there 'RPF' fics about Light Yagami? Misa: That's what I was asking! And also-- Hey! I'm not shipped with you in any of them!! Why?! GRRRR this isn't fair! Light: Wait. You haven't told anyone about my relationship with you, have you? Misa: Of course not! Misa wouldn't forget about her promise to you! Light: Then it's just natural they wouldn't write about us. Misa: But I'm literally in this fic?! Yet you're dating-- wait-- EW! Him?! ALL him?! Light: ...Who? *finally turning around to look at Misa's screen* A-

Looking for the Golden Light: A Hideki Ryuga x Light Yagami fanfiction, by xoxo3gossipgirl we never go out of style: A Light Yagami x Hideki Ryuga fanfiction (ft. Misa-Misa), by xoxo3gossipgirl And I'll Write Your Name: A Light Yagami x Hideki Ryuga fanfiction (ft. Misa-Misa), by xoxo3gossipgirl Grave Repercussions: A Yagami Light x Ryuga Hideki fanfiction, by xanaxLOVE28 lightning strikes every time she moves: A F!Hideki Ryuga x F!Light Yagami fanfiction, by xoxo3gossipgirl

Light: *inhales sharply, horrified* HIDEKI RYUGA?! [Light Yagami takes -100 damage] Misa: Yeah! God, my new manager never stops trying to pair me with him. It's getting on my nerves! Light: ...What? Misa: I don't even understand why. I mean, everyone in the industry knows Ryuga swings that way! And I told her I got a boyfriend. Light: ....... Oh. Oh, yeah, uh, right. Yeah, of course. I knew those are all about that Hideki Ryuga. The popular actor. Right? Misa: Huh? Yeah. Of course? What other........ wait................OH. Ryuzaki -- L -- also used it as an alias one time, didn't he? Light: Exactly, Misa. Obviously, these fics had nothing to do with him, but I thought we should make sure for safety's sake. Just as I thought, all this is indeed about the actor. Misa: Huh... Well, yeah. *turns back to the screen* This is definitely about the actor... and this one too.... and-- Wait a second! *gasps* Why does this fic say that I'm a- a- Light: A what? Misa: Light! *inhales sharply, horrified* What is "l-l-lesbian Misa-Misa" supposed to mean here?! [Misa Amane takes -100 damage] Light: ...Huh. Hm. Misa: W-wait... *stares at the description* Misa is here in this fic because she's in a fake PR relationship with Hideki Ryuga here... and apparently we're doing it so we can both... *squints, incredulous* "pretend to be straight"... together??? Light: Oh? That's... ridiculous. Misa: RIGHT??? I mean, who would ever DO such a thing??? That's stupid. Light: ...............Misa, you said earlier that your new manager keeps trying to pair you up with Hideki Ryuga -- that actor Hideki Ryuga. And you say Ryuga -- I mean, the actor, the real Ryuga Hideki, not L -- he's known in your industry for being gay? Misa: Yeah- ...Wait. *gasps, horrified* My manager really thinks I'm a l-les... bian?! Because--I never told her who my boyfriend is?! What! *screaming* She can't be SERIOUS! [Misa Amane takes -100 more damage]

[viciousbite]

//Reposting old short starter for beta (old)

“Why is everyone trying to kill me here?!” And he thought his world was bad! How did he even get here?

[pillowbugs]

The settlers on Hisui’s shores bring with them a legend from afar, of a man who would ride across the sky, bringing gifts for good children, in the deep of winter. So, when a man falls from the sky on a silent night near the winter solstice, Irida knows exactly what is going on.

Ingo (or at least, even in his foggy mind, he’s pretty sure that’s his name, not Nicholas, Claus, or any variation thereof) wakes up to find himself having apparently been kidnapped by a seven-year-old and an abundance of venomous Sneasels in his sleep.

had an absolutely cursed vision of a meme and ended up writing an entire crackfic about it. enjoy.

[enchantedchocolatebars]

💙 Hot & Flirty 💙 (Beardo Philip x Lovestruck Witch! Reader)

Summary: You (the reader) are being hardcore flirted with by Beardo Philip. But... are you really?

Ao3 version

Gift art here.

Moodboard here.

@bilumi / @bilumiart

Enjoy!

"So, how often do you come here?" the bearded brunette with a bushy ponytail had inquired to you, his right hand pressed against the side as his feet were crossed.

The two of you were inside the Bonesborough Library, you standing in front of the entrance while he stood in front of you.

From where he sat, he saw your divine beauty, it rivaling that of an angel, and decided to send you a flirtatious wink, winking out a small star before he approached you.

Even though you weren't familiar with this human, you had already fallen deeply in love with him.

Was it the stache?

His blue coat?

The soft glow of his eyes when they gazed at you?

Maybe a combination of the three?

You weren't entirely sure, but before you could answer his question, the man took the initiative to take hold of your chin with careful fingers.

"You're so cute," he purred, his voice low and just flirty enough to bring color to your cheeks.

"Thank you," you giggled out.

His touch and tender voice made you melt right away.

"Kiss me?" the human asked.

His eyes were closed, and his voice was so soft and needy.

He needed you.

You were quick to respond to his request with a smile.

As the two of you kissed and soaked in each other's affection, you could already see how bright your future would be with this man.

Sadly, this wasn't reality.

...

"Move," Philip had ordered with a no-nonsense grumble.

His expression was visibly sour as his annoyed frown was hidden beneath his scruffy beard.

The two of you were inside the Bonesborough Library, you standing in front of the entrance while he stood in front of you.

He had noticed you staring at him for quite some time from where he was sitting, and just when he was about to leave, you decide to block his way.

Really?

"Of course," you giggle with a dopey smile as you take a small sidestep, still stuck in your lovey-dovey daydream.

The hearts that were floating in your eyes made Philip grimace.

"Allow me." You quickly pushed the door open for Philip before he could do it himself.

Your kind gesture, while surprising him, only caused him to huff as he walked past you.

"You're not getting a thank you, by the way, witch," he told you harshly before leaving.

You only sighed a love-struck sigh as you watched the man walk off.

[ladybugsimblr]

Back at Home Recap Solo Mommy Duty weekend was a success! Way more laughs than tears or meltdowns. It had Bailey wondering if she could get used to this as her new norm or if it would be back to BK business once Q returned home. She didn't have to have an answer for that life decision yet, but time has definitely run out on the "to residency or not to residency" question. Winter will be here soon and the team, the execs, the krew and the butterflies can't wait any longer.

[viciousbite]

“Sentient...! They have become sentient! Vibrating too hard!”

☠ "I didn't know those could do that~"

@viciousbite