#Crack ish~

[viciousbite]

//Reposting old short starter for beta (old)

“Why is everyone trying to kill me here?!” And he thought his world was bad! How did he even get here?

[ominouspuff]

Repurposing GAR armor towards the end of pulverizing wrinkly Sith

— A guide by CC-1010, ecstatically-ex-marshal commander of Coruscant

A what-if au featuring the Corries pulling all-nighters fueled on caf alone to study republic law, Fox providing his own dubious legal representation resulting in the wildest civil court case in Republic history, and, they can only pray, formidable and clandestine cooperation within GAR high command’s clone contingents via a small-scale GAR-approved candy brand

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

haha just kidding, nothing is free!

100 bucks. fork it over.

[lurkinginnernarrator]

Cang Qiong's rumor mill has a new topic.

Peak Lord Shen hasn't been seen in two weeks. The last time he was seen was flying back from An Ding, where he purportedly commandeered some unknown objects from An Ding's storerooms after a hasty discussion with Peak Lord Shang. He entered the Bamboo house and hasn't emerged since.

The most popular theory is Peak Lord Shen is conducting some sort of toeing-the-line-of-taboo ritual.

Eventually, someone convinces Mu Qingfang to do a wellness check.

The Qing Jing disciples greet their Mu-shishu respectfully, the disciple escorting him to the Bamboo House inquiring as to the nature of his visit, seeing as 'Shizun wasn't expecting shishu today.'

"This master is merely here to visit your Shizun."

The disciple bows after announcing Mu Qingfang's arrival.

Mu Qingfang opens the door.

"Shen-shixiong?"

"Mu-shidi? To what do I owe the pleA—FUCK get BACK HERE YOU ARE NOT"—the sounds of struggle reach Mu Qingfang's ears and he leaps to action, striding in to take stock of the situatio...n.

Shen-shixiong is flat on his stomach; outstretched hands tightly grasping a precocious ball of fluff. His eyes gleam in victory, the scene casting it in a more crazed light. There is a heaviness to Shen Qingqiu's eyes that cultivation cannot banish and miscellaneous stains on his person. And, looking around, the Bamboo House is a disaster. Books, brushes, scrolls, inkwells and fans are scattered around, many haphazardly dropped on the floor. There is. Also. Hay?

Mu Qingfang freezes in the doorway. Ball of fluff and Shen Qingqiu also freeze.

"Is... Shixiong alright?"

This seems to snap Shen Qingqiu into action. He scrambles up firmly but with care, cradling the fluffball. Shen Qingqiu gets himself in order as best he can with both his hands occupied and clears his throat.

"Ah...Yes. this master is fine. To what do I owe the pleasure?..."

The fluffball twitches, wriggling until Shen Qingqiu loses his grip on it. It hops to the floor. A juvenile Whitecrested Snowrabbit of Agility stares up at Mu Qingfang.

"This. Shidi could come back at a more opportune time?"

The bunny starts chewing on a scroll.

"I believe that would be best."

Mu Qingfang backs out of the doorway.

He does send tea to help with Shen-Shixiong's fatigue and a subspecies of carrot that Whitecrested Snowrabbits are supposed to favour though.

I wonder what the next topic of Cang Qiong's rumor mill will be?

[zivazivc]

What was Ish and Lena's relationship?

I made so much for this ask, don't look at me 🫣

The two trolls had a short summer romance at a "no boarders" music festival called Fusion Fest. Back then it was a pretty new and small thing, and the point of the festival is for trolls from all genres to come together and enjoy each other's music and company; celebrating togetherness and acceptance.

(Yes, I made a logo. 😅 This festival is a major annual event for the mixed trolls in my AU.)

Ish and his friend group went to check it out because they're already a colorful ensemble of different genres, and they were curious to see what it was about.

Lena and her friends somehow caught wind of the festival in their backwater village where nothing new or exciting ever happens, and they decided to go to rebel against their closed-minded, racist parents and community, but mostly because they were bored teenagers who'd never seen any trolls other than Rock Trolls before. Despite them wanting to experience something new, their reason for going was very much NOT the point of the festival; They were treating it more like a freakshow to stare at, and them rebelling against their parents was more just to anger them and not because they were any better...

In my mind Lena is very attractive (in a trashy, grunge kind of way), and a 16-year-old Ish immediately got a crush on her from across the room.

He put his Funk moves on her and left her completely flustered from how forward he was. I imagine he was really charming and smooth, but also I can't stop cringing and comparing it to bird mating dances lmao.

(The song Ish is singing to Lena. It makes it feel extra perfect because I just happened to learn the singer was also a 16-year-old when recording it!)

Lena didn't fall for him as hard as he fell for her at first, but she's one of those girls who will go for any bad boy that looks intimidating, and she thought funk trolls were scary and intimidating, because she was subconsciously racist herself too. 🧍 She did really start to like him after they hooked up though, and started liking him for him (so at least she was learning...)

But then they were faced with an unexpected surprise one morning after waking up from a night of concerts and partying (and mixing of substances that shouldn't be mixed)...

Ish panicked hard, he even tried getting rid of the egg, claiming it had to be a dud given the circumstances, but Lena stopped him saying she felt it move. Thank god, because Leslie hatched only minutes later.

Ish was so freaked out that he abruptly left and headed back to Funk Kingdom in the same day, and just abandoned Lena with the baby.

Lena was also very scared but she immediately warmed up to little Leslie and had no intention of dropping him off at an orphanage or doing something similar, despite her friends' encouragement to do just that, claiming her parents were going to kick her out if she showed up back home with a mixed baby.

I'm thinking Ish did try to reach out to Lena by sending her a letter a few weeks later (he got her address before the egg thing happened), but the letter never reached her because she really was disowned and kicked out of her parents' house when she came home and refused to give her baby up...

So Lena never heard from Ish again, and the next time Ish heard about Lena was about 9 years later when Leslie turned up looking for him with his baby brother, and he learned that she was gone...

(Ish having a weird day where he went out after Kymani poorly relayed a confusing phone call from the police station, and later came back home as the sole caretaker of two neglected kids.)

[cheebuss]

How about soldier warrior cats? Pls 🥺

Super late but STARCLAN BLESS MURICA'!!!

[loonybun]

whumper who literally just uses an immortal whumpee as an organ farm. like yes we love to see an entrepreneur on the black market! make those profits!

[chickenkurage]

Possible new AU? (Duck Alan AU?????)

Where in canon happens, except around Showdown, Alan got extremely worried that Second and the others hadn't come back yet. So he uses his brand new VR headset that he had bought (was planned to use it so he could finally meet and talk with the stick figures, but forgot)

He hadn't set a model for his VR so he used his ROBLOX character as his model, except the VR had twisted it and turned his whole model as a Duck. (His ROBLOX model is a duck head XD). So he sets his way towards the portal and was able to stop Second before he could kill Dark.

What he thought he would look like.

Versus what he turned into.

Second was confused when he saw Alan, cause why was there a random Duck trying to get his attention?

Alan is swimming through the water so he could get to Second and the others (He still has not noticed he was a duck, he thought he was just extremely good at swimming, and awfully small for some reason)

Now onto some doodles! Duck Alan with his kids!

VICTIM

Here Victim discovers Alan was in the outernet and kidnapped him, and instead he was disappointed to find Alan looking like a Duck instead of the "Scary Cursor" form he had. So now his revenge was in shambles and forgotten since Alan had disappointed him so much in such a short time.

(Alan bothers Victim frequently by sneaking inside Rocket Corp)

Alan sad mode because he got kicked out of Rocket Corp again.

CHOSEN

Alan also fell asleep behind the VR as well (thank goodness he was laying on his bed) He totally did not sneak around and carefully laid himself down on top of Chosen.

DARK

Initially, after the Showdown and Alan saving Dark from Second (by distracting him for looking like a duck). Alan has now fixed Dark's code, and he is much more chill now, since he has no voices telling him to destroy everything.

Though he is still mad at Alan (It's just hard to be mad at a cute looking duck, even if that duck is Alan himself, or so he tells himself that)

Alan is secretly very happy to see them all in person, so he cant help but stare at them in awe.

SECOND

Alan has no legs, i like to think he just glides around the place since that's just a VR model XDDD.

In the end, Alan had the chance to change his model, but he kept it because the others are much more kinder to him in that form XDDD

Where did i get this AU idea? Uhh *looks at the AvG roblox gameplays* i don't know either tbh. - S

[veryspecificwhump]

tiny whumpee being put in a terarrium

[viciousbite]

@swordsxandxsakuras​ asked: (To Sanemi for her to troll) Nezuko attempts to kiss Genya in front of the Wind Hashira.

His eyes are burning, in disgust, what the hell did he see-- What the fuck. WHAT THE ACTUAL MOTHERFUCKING FUCK DID HE SEE?!?!?! His baby bro, and the brat, ki-kissing-- Or-- Wait, there’s still hope, to stop them--!! Wait, should he stop them? What if he didn’t stop them.. .and then Genya can finally live the happy life without demon slaying... But the brat was a slayer, so there was no way out... FUCK! 

With his last angry braincell, the nearest table in his vicinity was thrown into the couple. “FUCKING KEEP THAT SHIT OUT OF MY LINE OF SIGHT OR I’M GOING TO TEAR BOTH OF YOUR FACES OFF!!!”

[devildom-moss]

Bubble wrap

(MC with popping candy edition joints)

Satan: You’re always hanging out with Solomon, MC; why is that? I even spotted you two on a walk together this morning.

Solomon: Don’t tell me you’re jealous of little old me, Satan. What can I say?

MC: Well, you know, birds of a feather click together.

Solomon: You mean stick?

MC: No. I meant what I said. I’ve heard you do a squat, man. Your joints pop like a roller coaster cart ascending a vertical drop. My guy, you click. Same boat though.

Satan: I was going to ask if you two were having sex, but now I’m just thinking about bubble wrap.

MC: . . .

Solomon: MC, want to go pop some bubble wrap with me?

MC: If you turn that into a thing, you’ll be popping your own bubble wrap.

[difeisheng]

thinking about cryptid little forensic anthropology professor li lianhua who wears cardigans with converse and shows up 10 minutes late with a matcha latte every class, but will then proceed to sit on the desk swinging his feet and drop an absolute banger of a lecture without notes or looking at slides (he does have slides, and amazingly they're both legible and genuinely informative). baby future archivist fang duobing is in his class, and Technically this is outside of his focus in the anthropology major he's doing to get there but hey, counted credits are counted credits, and he may as well apply the time he's spent watching elementary and listening to true crime podcasts to something. except all he actually ends up doing is develop a massive infatuation on his cute sweet professor who intersperses all his lectures with pictures of his dog, and his friends are stuck hearing about it because "don't you understand the struggle, guys, going to office hours won't get anywhere because it's really hard to find an opening to flirt when the topic being covered this week is trauma analysis of cranial fragments". it doesn't stop fang duobing from showing up to them anyway, though, because getting li lianhua to go on about some niche and random topic over the tea he always offers, just the two of them, is a beautiful thing. even the pictures of him and his admittedly stunning husband crowded on his desk can't take down the smile fang duobing has on whenever he leaves. sure it really is a puppy crush but hey a boy can dream

[crimsondinnerparty]

“Primavera” In this episode, Will sees Hannibal’s horrifying tribute to him — the heart-shaped "Valentine" made of a man's body. Hannibal doesn’t do casual gifts; he’s like the nightmare version of that friend who overdoes it with grand romantic gestures. “You’re telling me you made a giant heart sculpture out of someone’s ribs? You really shouldn’t have.” Will’s reaction is this mixture of horror and resignation, like he’s half-expecting this by now. But Hannibal’s twisted gesture isn’t just creepy — it’s his way of saying, “I missed you.” Because in Hannibal’s world, nothing says affection like personalized murder art.

[therewillbenoromance]

don't have much new art rn but heres a heart i drew a few months ago :3

[self-spaghettification]

bro is watching intently

[sofasoap]

Little Beard

Pairing: Johnny “Soap” MacTavish x F!Reader

Summary: After being apart from your wonderful boyfriend for six months, he comes back with a surprise.

Warning : M themed. Suggestive. hints of smut. Not beta'ed. Semi crack. A/N: I am sure all of us who loves Soap also love his wonderful beard from his OG days. At least I do.

Part 4 of Little Bear series Masterlist

“JOHN……ny???”

Two men turned around. If it wasn’t for the almost non-existing mohawk, you probably would have mistaken your boyfriend for Captain Price. 

“Bonnie bear!!” Striding towards you before scoping you up into his arms into a bear hug. “You made it!” 

“I wouldn’t miss it in the world… but.. What the hell is this??!!” you gaped, while caressing his full mutton chop. 

Six months. It’s the longest time both of you have been apart since the start of the relationship. Oh how you missed him. There was minimal contact. The only reason you knew him and the team was still alive was through Laswell ( Only because Johnny begged her and she has a soft spot for the youngsters of the team ). You don’t know how you would have coped without her constant update and reassurances. While you are glad to have them safe back in your arm, you begin to wonder what has happened during the mission. 

“You like it?” Nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, he whispered. “I thought something different, for a change.” 

“Are you sure you boys haven’t been on the set of ‘Cast Away’ instead of a save-the-world mission??”  You laughed as you felt the tickle of his beard on your neck. “Oh! You are growing a rat tail too..” 

Glancing over his shoulder, you see Gaz sporting a not quite a full unkempt beard and equally messy curly hair, although you couldn’t see Simon’s face, a few strands of overgrown hair is peeking out from both eye holes and the back of his balaclava, and somehow Price has magically kept his mutton chop immaculate. You almost wonder if he has signed a secret pact with an unknown entity to keep his facial hair in tiptop shape and keep the boys alive during the missions. 

Pulling away a little, he gives you a playful smacking kiss on the lip, “Falling head over heels for me again?” 

You laughed as you lightly slapped his chest, you have to admit on more than one occasion you have imagined what it will be like for Johnny to have a full grown mutton chop, how it will feel when he goes down on….

“What are you thinking now little teddy bear? I can hear your brain churning.” Leaning back into you as he dropped into a whisper, “You having naughty thoughts?” Damn, he knows you too well. 

“Don’t worry, once we get back to the accommodation.. I will make up for all the lost time by taking care of ya…” he smirked. He proceeded to yell towards the boys, “Hey, I think we will give tonight’s gathering a miss, I have important business to take care of.” 

“You mean taking care of your girlfriend’s needs?” Simon perked up all of sudden.

“Oh my gosh Simon!!” You swear if someone put a kettle on top of your head now, you can boil the water in an instant. Of all people, you did not expect it from him. You seriously need to have a talk with Mini to reign her husband’s mouth. 

“You know it! See you tomorrow instead!” Soap replied, unashamed about what his plan with you for the evening was to be, while waving goodbye to his teammates and half dragging you towards the car, eagerly. And sure enough, he proceed to you the best head in your life. As always. With his new mutton chop. Again, and again. the overgrown hair made it easy to grab onto too.

“.. Had a good time? UGH!”

“ Gaz. Behave. And you too SIMON. Don't you DARE open your mouth” 

I am a firm believer Price has made a pact with the devil to keep his mutton chop immaculate at all time.

@a-small-writer-in-a-big-world

@kaplerrr

@homicidal-slvt

@floral-force @okayyadriana @deadbranch @cumikering @siilvan

@random-thot-generator

@random0lover @devcica @jynxmirage @nrdmssgs