#Complicating Diagnoses

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive

humans are the experts on their own minds

family may prevent assessment

diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes

diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more

medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it

discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.

Assessment waiting lists often long

medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible

Neurodiverse Journeys

[zivazivc]

Sorry if this has already been asked before but why did the band break up? And did they break up on decent terms? Do they still talk to each other sometime?

It has been asked before, I just never answered jshfbdjcbh I'm still piecing everything together and stuff is changing or getting tweaked all the time, so I'm always super hesitant about answering these types of questions, afraid that people will take whatever I say as the final answer. So basically what I'm going to answer now will already contradict what I told some people already. And maybe in the future the story might go a little differently too (although I'm pretty satisfied with the current events)

Uhhh, get ready for a long info dump. I didn't expect I'd write this much...

Floyd basically stayed with the band for 8 years (from 14 till 22) and got pretty messed up in the process. The rest of the guys are all quite older than him so I guess I could say they were more responsible, or at least had a better understanding of their own limits (also they grew up in this kind of environment or grew up aware of it, while Floyd was oblivious and naive about all of it) and while they do get drunk and do drugs often, none of them are really dependent on them. They are also pretty good judges of character and know how to avoid trouble. Floyd on the other hand drove in with no breaks and constantly got himself in trouble that the rest (mostly Les) had to drag him out of. He also developed bipolar during this time (in my story Floyd constantly fluctuates between being saturated and being desaturated because of this) and his manic and depressive episodes started getting out of hand after his teenage years. (None of them are aware it's a mental disorder that's making him act so out of character.)

Floyd was becoming miserable because of this and all of his problems pilling up, and started blaming Les for the way he was. Les never argued this which only fueled Floyd to blame him more. In the end he was getting so frustrated and irritable that Floyd constantly tried starting arguments with him, even putting him down and getting aggressive at times because Les gets very unresponsive and closed off during personal conversations (guy is a giant onion of suppressed trauma that Floyd is hellbent on peeling open).

Eventually there was one fight too many, terrible things were said, some objects flew through the air, and Floyd walked out (or Hed kicked him out, I haven't decided yet) with the promise of going home and never seeing them again.

So, yeah, it was very messy and Floyd was the primary asshole, even though he's not really to blame either...

But Floyd didn't make it home (was too scared to sneak through Bergen Town to get to the tree (i don't think i can judge him for that either)) and he just returned to the reckless lifestyle, this time without anyone being there to keep him safe. So if he was messed up before, this is the time period where he got absolutely fucked up. This is also when he got heavily addicted to sour worms. And when he chronically slept around (half the time just to get offered free worms or have somewhere to sleep, other times because he was having manic episodes and was feeling hypersexual). (This is also potentially the period when he had the two eggs with that techno troll, but I'm still thinking if I want that to be canon to the story or not.) During this time he also grew to become very anxious and his self-confidence went to shit when he was being himself.

Then after about three years of that, he bumped into Les at some party. He wanted to dodge him out of shame but Les grabbed his arm and manhandled him outside to talk. Floyd felt like shit about the way they had split up and tried apologizing for all the stuff he had said and done to Les, but Les wasn't having any of that because he wasn't angry at Floyd, he was just worried about him. Les is also insanely empathetic like Floyd, and he knew that Floyd never really meant any of it, and that he was just looking for an outlet when he was hurting. Also he does think he is to blame for the way Floyd ended up.

Les wanted to know why he didn't go home like he had said (because that was the only reason Les had even let him walk out in the first place). A few exchanged words later and Floyd broke down telling him all the awful things he'd done, and Les promised to help him, feeling insanely guilty. Floyd wondered if he was allowed back in the band but Les made it clear that the band wasn't good for him and that he was never taking him back. Instead Les helped him go though rehab. I don't think trolls have those institutions (or at least not many are aware of them or how they work (I'm sorry but I refuse to believe the Trolls world has internet and cellphones, Mountrageons can keep that for themselves lol)), so it was more or less just Les finding Floyd a job and his own place to stay in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where he had no option but to detox, and constantly checking up on him to make sure he was doing okay. During this time they grew pretty close again. Or maybe the better term would be that Les slowly started putting his walls down again.

Hed needed a while to warm up to Floyd again. He's almost as protective of Les as Les is of him, and he resented Floyd for the way he had treated him.

Flea is pretty phlegmatic when it comes to any sort of arguing or drama. He was casual about seeing Floyd again, they were never super close anyway.

And Liv, she left the band when she and Hed broke up (haven't decided if that happened before or after Floyd left), so Floyd didn't get to see her again after bumping into Les at the party. And I haven't thought yet if they'd ever meet again somewhere later in life. But if they did, I think they'd both be happy to see each other.

Anyway...

Floyd managed to detox and successfully kept the job for about a year, but then he became manic again and messed it all up. After that he returned to his nomadic lifestyle, but he never fell as hard as those three years again. In my story Floyd's life is a constant cycle of getting his life together and fucking it up and booking to the next place. And he and Les are trapped in a never-ending cat and mouse game where they're both trying to fix each other.

So, uh, Les and Floyd are still very close and see each other somewhat often...

(sometimes monthly, sometimes yearly)

Yeah...

I am so fucking obsessed with them I'm gonna hurl. Please take this song before I combust:

[vaelylis]

while everyone is here if you believe in "narcissistic abuse", general "cluster b abuse" or refer to people as narcissists you can unfollow me because literally those people can go fuck themselves 😭

[carnage-cathedral]

reminder that the vast majority of systems stay covert until adulthood and anyone who goes around claiming you're "too old" to be discovering yourself as a system is fucking lying to you

[kingcunny]

okay, speaking on house. theres a running joke that ‘its not lupus. its never lupus’ i think someone might actually even say it in the show. i think house mightve even said lupus is a bad diagnosis. not only medically speaking (this show aired in the early 00s and we didnt know as much about lupus then. i think back then it was considered a terminal illness.), there isnt anything you can do to cure lupus. you can “manage” the symptoms. but i think most chronically ill people will tell you ‘managing’ is bullshit. which also makes it a bad diagnosis from a storytelling point. the heros cant save the day. they cant cure the illness and send the patient back home healthy and happy.

[realbeefman]

i don’t really like omegaverse that much (absolute lie) but i DO think that house md would fuck *that* much harder if it was set in the omegaverse

[theartistichuman]

I’m so tired of having cis women tell me that because I am trans masculine I somehow don’t know how misogyny works and I somehow didn’t and don’t spend my life doing the emotional and physical labor that they are also doing while being misgendered as though I don’t also face the same medical misogyny but I’m also being misgendered at doctor’s appointments and when I try to access tools and help about disability or feminism or mental health I’m told that trans masculine people are already being centered in the work and don’t need any more space while you guessed it BEING MISGENDERED and then I get told that I could pass if I tried and therefore it doesn’t matter. what the hell

[1941-crowley-slut]

What I hate about humans is that you can't just go and be like "Hey, I think I have this thing" cause their immediate response will be "Um...I don't think you do, I don't think you know what you're talking about". Even if they don't say it out loud, they'll think it. Even if you're diagnosed with that thing, but ESPECIALLY if you're not.

However if you pretend you don't know you might have that thing and just slowly display your symptoms through time, then, THEN they'll suddenly be like "Oh hey I think you have this thing" CAUSE WE ALL THINK WE ARE SO INCREDIBLY FUCKING SMART AND KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE. I'M NOT BETTER, I DO THIS SHIT TOO INTERNALLY I HATE HUMANS

[marrzyy]

how much i wish i wasn't paranoid about every human interaction i have. even online. even just through posting art. i can't shake off the feeling that everyone is annoyed and done with me. like there's one huge mistake i've made that everyone except me knows of. i feel like i even disappoint my own followers with every post i make. it's intense and irrational and it pisses me off sm.

[thatone-churro]

the english major is not real i have a ten page paper calling out poe for being terrible at grieving and coping due in a week

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Things About the Autism Assessment Process Which Don't Make Sense...

neurodivergent_lou

[eclaire-went-bam]

self-dx npd culture is being like "yeah maybe i thought a lot about it and ruled out other options and looked into this and it has affected every aspect of my life for years now & maybe i settled on this but also consider i'm not narcissistic i'm actually just THAT good and THAT deserving of doing the stuff i do and thinking the things i think and THAT entitled to everything i say i'm entitled to. i'm not professionally diagnosed so consider there is nothing wrong with me. i just Am better."

[faerl]

Aha...you see....the probel. Is .... I am unwell....

[story-book-sillies]

Having complicated emotions about my possible neurodivergency again

I just wish I could at least get tested to see if I have ADHD because I just want to know if my years of research and analyzing my brain means anything. Because I don’t want to self diagnose. But I just know something is up with my brain and I don’t know what it is

If I don’t get a diagnosis, then I’ll never know and I’ll never get the resources I need or the community of other neurodivergent individuals (in the case that I do have ADHD or something else) but if I do get a diagnosis and end up being neurodivergent, I’ll be shamed by my family and end up alone in that way. So I don’t win in either situations

And I know I can use resources if they help make my life easier, but I feel like such a fraud like, “Oh look at this loser, she’s using resources for people with ADHD and Autism even though she’s undiagnosed, I bet she’s just faking it.”

I don’t want to be unfair to those who do actually need help but I also feel like I need help with nobody to help me and I’m lost and scared and frustrated and confused and hghhghhjgfhhnn

[shieth]

i might b getting diagnosed with DID and it's genuinely such a surreal experience