#Clark kent is a bad dad

[tiger-grace]

Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?

Bruce: Rehab.

Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?

Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.

[littlefankingdom]

The Young Justice animated show really made Batman "not the step dad, but the dad that stepped up", especially for Kon.

Like, not only does he go out with Clark to lecture him about being a good father figure to Kon after they found him, but in the comics, in the first issue, Kon spends all day waiting for Clark to check on him, clearly expecting some kind of father-son dynamic, only for Bruce to send child support so he can buy himself clothes and pay Wally's parents for the expenses during his stay with them.

He just met the kid and he has set up a trust fund for him. In this show, he probably has a trust fund for all the team's members. If anyone of them want to go to college, Batman is paying.

[necrotic-nephilim]

6,23

for the choose violence ask game!

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

oooh, this is hard. generally any sort of "fans of this thing are annoying" for me comes with the caveat that i don't think it's *all* fans and i don't even think it's most fans, but rather a loud minority that has shaped the ship as a whole. for some reason JayRoy tends to come to mind the most, because i've been slowly dipping my toes into the Arrowfamily and i cannot *stand* any JayRoy opinions on Oliver's parenting. i think JayRoy can be blamed for a *lot* of the misunderstandings some fans have about Oliver and Roy's relationship, as well as the existence of the Arrowfam in the first place beyond just Oliver, Roy, Dinah, and inexplicably Artemis Crock, bc Young Justice (tv) will never stop leaving its mark.

any time someone gets shipped with a Batfam member, their entire fandom presence surrounds the Batfamily and headcanons are all about Bruce adopting them too and them just being another face in Wayne Manor. and for whatever reason, Roy is one of the worst victims of this. so much JayRoy content doesn't even care to acknowledge Roy's bonds with the Arrowfam, his *daughter*, his complex relationship with Chesire, his relationship with the Titans and the Outsiders, and so forth. he's just Jason's rescue boyfriend. if i have to see one more JayRoy fan act like Bruce needs to save Roy from Oliver and they badly cite Snowbirds Don't Fly, i might lose it.

i think this could also extend to TimKon as well, with a *lot* of TimKon fans not understanding Kon's relationship to the Superfamily and *grossly* demonizing Clark for the sake of Kon being Tim's rescue boyfriend. like the misunderstandings fanon has about Clark and Kon will never not infuriate me, and i *do* think TimKon carries a brunt of that blame bc it falls into the "Kon is another orphan that Bruce takes in" vibes.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

JayRose i think is a recent one! i used to dislike JayRose bc it felt underdeveloped and like slapping two characters with daddy issues together, but i've lately been more and more enticed by it bc of a beloved anon who has so many delightful JayTimRose thoughts. ironically i could also say JayRoyTim, bc initially it was not my speed but once again, some anons have begrudgingly convinced me, which is impressive bc i never thought i would come around to a ship involving JayRoy for all of the above reasons. i've also been coming around to BatJokes as of recent. i never hated BatJokes but it was certainly never For Me. lately though, that faith has been questioned and i've been interested in it.

the one i've been very unwilling to but have somehow gotten dragged into is JayTalia. i was always turned off by how that was handled in Lost Days and hated the pairing. but... i've been enticed by the dead dove potential of it. i'm being converted. to be fair i still think it was mishandled in Lost Days but... i'm sort of coming around to enjoying it for what it is. idk how i ended up here but i will take any excuse to whump Jason.

[ravenpureforever]

The opinion Clark is Superboys dad should hsve been aborted before it ever became a twinkle in someone's eye

Yeah you see personally I’m not ready for parenthood in anyway if I found out that someone made a 16 year old with half my dna while I was dead and that 16 year old didn’t even have a name and was living in a government lab I’d at least make the effort to be involved in his helping him set up a non-superhero related personal life and not be involved with the ethically dubious lab that created him, you know?

I’m not saying he has to be full on dad and I’m not saying he was this terrible monster to Superboy, I’m just saying he could stepped a lot more in a lot of ways and he didn’t and because he’s Superman, paragon of goodness and doing the right thing and helping others, and Superboy was actively exploited by other adults in his life rather publicly and homeless at one point is shall we say a bad look

He doesn’t have to be full on “I’m your dad let’s go out for ice cream son” but the fact he had a kid related to him at the very least very publicly dating a much older woman and didn’t have an actual name until like a year into his existence is a very much you could have stepped up at the very least as a mentor a lot more, Clark

Also being a dad isn’t the only way you can be there for someone

Peace and love, anon

[vitapeaks]

I NEED Ma Kent to meet Kara. My poor girl needs some love and some food. I want to see Kara try Ma Kents apple pie

I also think that Ma will be so happy to meet Kara like Clarks family is also her family and Kara is gonna need some family love

[dasha022]

Don't mess with ghost parents if you want to continue alive Chapter 3 on Ao3

Ellie was sitting on one of the individual couches, her fingers couldn't stop fidgeting with each other. She doesn't know how many times she had seen the teenager sitting in front of her before she looked away in order to not overwhelm him.

But, she just couldn't help it. He was her son, her ghost baby. Well, half ghost baby and half alien, but he was hers. Being a ghost herself she knew what having a ghost baby represented. At least in descriptive theory. However, she didn't think her own experience would be so mind-blowingly overwhelming.

Her ghostly maternal instincts could not be appeased, let alone diverted from keeping her attention on her whelp.

Pandora had explained to her in detail what being a ghost mother; whether by ghost "natural" way or core bonding, meant. This after the ghost goddess would adopt both Danny and her and Jazz.

Just remembering how clingy, fierce and overprotective the warrior was with them the first few years she felt ashamed to complain back then. For now, she was in her adoptive mother's place and wanted to have some of the control the goddess had developed when they couldn't stay in the Ghost Zone as long due to college.

Ellie looked at the restless fingers on her hands and bit the inside of her cheek inconspicuously.

Although, in this case none of that options fit her current situation. Because she didn't do the bees and flowers thing with someone liminal, human or ghost, nor did she acquire the child through adoption; core link. In this case, someone got her genetic code and the one from a super hero alien, and did all the work for her.

... For some reason, that last sentence feels weird and wrong.

Best not to think about it.

Looking again at the boy who was receiving clarification from her older sister, the anxieties of hugging and cuddling him in a nest of sheets inside her haunt in the Ghost Zone resurfaced again when he looked back at her. The anxiety increases when the teenager immediately withdraws his eyes from her. But now with fear for be ignoring by her little boy.

She almost let out a disconsolate trill. However, she didn't. Danny was watching her leaning back against the wall and holding her new niece in his arms. She wasn't going to give him a reason to stretch that shit-eating grin on his face.

[desperatecheesecubes]

Listen, i don’t think Clark is Kons dad nor do I want him to be but I’m still delighted every time he acts paternally towards him

[dp-clarkjkent]

i know your secret identity

Your Green lantern!

Oh no! You caught me!

It is indeed mine! They didn't have it in blue where I was shopping, so I took green instead.

[wings-of-angels]

Nonsensical Connor Kent meme

[supermanshield]

pink suit in Action Comics #217

[not-so-superheroine]

hmm. reminds me of someone.

[everwalldigan]

Hear me out: Robin Dick would be the biggest Bruceman supporter and shipper.

This boy hates any of Bruce’s love interest with a passion because then his dad guardian spends less time with him and that’s obviously UNACCEPTABLE, SCANDALOUS even, so when rumours start circulating that Bruce Wayne is in a relationship with the Batman, he jumps right on the wagon.

Reporter, thirsty for a story: Mr Grayson what do you think about the rumours that Bruce Wayne is dating the Batman?

Dick: What do I think about my dads you mean? My very married very taken dads? My very faithful to each other plural dads?

He would fuel the rumours both as Robin and as Dick Grayson, punching criminals for talking bad about Wayne enterprises as Robin (“THAT’S MY STEPDADS COMPANY YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”). He would be on online forums all day talking about how Bruceman is the only Batman ship that makes sense and Doxxing people who disagree.

Bruce is so exasperated because this is happening at a time where only Alfred and Dick know his real identity so he can’t even do anything with ANYONE without making either Bruce Wayne or Batman look unfaithful.

Throw Reporter Clark Kent into the mix who has been sent to scope out the Bruceman story, who Bruce makes the mistake of flirting with at a gala. Both Clark AND dick are scandalised.

Dick, making a scene: HOW COULD YOU! BATMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME AND YOURE HERE FLIRTING WITH SOME… SOME REPORTER??

Bruce, sighing: Dick-

Dick, tugging on Bruce’s suit and looking up at him with fake tears in his eyes: Dad, are you and dad getting a divorce? :(

Clark, panicking: NO NO THEYRE NOT GETTING A DIVORCE PLEASE DONT CRY

Meanwhile:

Bruce, crying in the corner: he called me dad

He would even go as far as insisting that Robin is his step sibling

Principal: how do you explain that whenever Robin is injured, Dick fails to show up at school the next day?

Dick: Robin and I are twins :) so when he’s injured I’m injured too and we have to stay home together!!

Bruce, whispering: I’m sorry, they’re not really twins but neither I or Bats have the heart to tell hem

[thegothamgazettereportermarie]

Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

A Guidebook to Drinking Coffee by lovelytime

12/12 chapters

Summary: Bruce Wayne had a guide for everything in his life. He knew exactly when to laugh, when to say "thank you" and when to pretend he was drunk. He could muster tears on the spot and entertain an entire ballroom. He knew what to do, and how to do it, to get exactly what he wanted. But Clark Kent came with no guide.

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO cute

obsessed with the idea that bruce acts like lucille bluth when he's being airheaded socialite brucie wayne😂

here's a bonus brucie with reporter clark kent:

[mx-heinous]

Imagine in some universe, Bruce, Brucie, and Batman are actually a system, and that the Tired Dad TM, mildly eccentric bimbo, and the personification of vengeance itself, are all sharing a brain.

-----------------------------

*The Trinity holding the lasso of truth to share their identities*

Wonder Woman: I am Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Zeus and Hippolyta

Superman: Kal-el of Krypton, also known as Clark Kent

Batman: Batman

Clark and Diana, realizing what Batman just said: *weird looks*

Batman: The other guys are asleep

-----------------------------

Brucie, not as aware at first about the whole vigilantism, waking up mildly concussed: Man, last night was wild, what a hangover.

-----------------------------

Bad Guy of the week: Now that you've inhaled my truth serum, I can finally ask you this! Are you or are you not Bruce Wayne?

Batman: I'm not. That's a completely separate person.

Bad Guy: But, BUT I SAW YOU–

Audience Member 1: You saw a drunk billionaire at a costume party

Bad Guy: Whatever! What's your secret identity?!

Batman: I don't have one. I'm Batman.

Bad Guy: BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE?!

Audience Member 2: Look at this wackjob, thinking that the cryptid motherfucker's secretly a normal person

Audience Member 3: Thanks a lot for wasting our time, asshole

-----------------------------

Terry: How'd you know those voices weren't yours?

Batman: For one thing, they kept calling me Bruce

[wonderjanga]

What do you do?

Bruce has literally no idea about Marvel’s personal life. As a result, the JL have no idea about his personal life. The only thing they know is that they want Marvel to have their jobs. Cause, Marvel already let them rants about whatever they’re passionate about. Once they find out his job, and if he’s maybe passionate about what they’re passionate about, they can yap together!

Supes: *ranting*

Marvel: *listening intently*

Supes: “And, you know, I’m a reporter-”

Marvel: *sounds surprised* Wait, you’re actually a reporter?”

Supes: “Uh… yeah? Did you think I wasn’t? You’ve heard me go on fifteen minute rants just about it.”

Marvel: *shrugs* “I just thought it was something you were really interested in. What company to do you work at?”

Supes: “The Daily Planet?”

Marvel: “Oh, I’ve heard about them!”

This went on to be an hour long conversation of them exchanging tips, talking about which companies can’t be trusted, which reporters are good versus bad, and so on. They probably would’ve gone on longer if some aliens hadn’t tried to invade earth for the millionth time. Even then, after the battle, they continued the conversation back at the Watchtower. Clark was honestly so happy about this entire thing because whenever he talked about reporting to Marvel, he would normally just nod along and ask questions. Instead, this time, the Cheese actually yapped with him instead of patiently listening. Clark was like 50 percent sure Marvel was a reporter now, and he was right. Technically. Billy was a reporter.

Meanwhile, Bruce is hypothesizing that Marvel is a teacher or caretaker of some kind because he’s really good with kids. Most of these kids are, for a lack of a better word, idiots. He is the only hero that’s interacted with them that hasn’t lost his temper yet. A good example of this was when Marvel was obviously having a bad day and Jon came to talk to him since Clark was busy.

Marvel: *nodding along, as he stress bakes, stirring something in a bowl* “That’s nice. Can you go get some flour for me?”

Jon: “Sure!” *runs off to grab a bag of flour and as he comes back he accidentally drops it and gets it all over the floor, now looking guilty* “I’m sorry.”

Marvel: “It’s… fine.” *takes a deep breath and is trying so hard to not lash out him* “It’s fine.” *takes another deep breath and smiles at him* “Jon, you’ve made pies with Mrs. Kent before right?”

Jon: “No, mom doesn’t like making pies. I make them with Grandma though!”

Marvel: “That’s who I meant.” *hands Jon the bowl* “Hold this please?” *walks over and picks up the flour bag, and puts some into the bowl Jon was holding before putting the bag in a sink* “Mix that and pour it into the pan while I go clean this up.” *ruffles his hair*

Jon: “Okay.” *determined to help him make the best pie ever*

Later…

Batman: *walks into the kitchen* “Marvel-” *does a double take when he sees Jon* “Why is Superboy’s entire lower half covered in flour?”

Marvel: “He dropped a bag of flour earlier.” *shrugs as he lets Jon put a bunch of sprinkles on the pie*

He later watched the feed of the kitchen and that’s how the Marvel potentially being a teacher theory came into existence. Of course, this incident wasn’t the only reason, but still.

While all this is happening, Diana thinks he’s has a job in the archeological field because the man seems to love history.

And Billy does. His dad and mom loved it, and at first he only got into it because they liked it, but he realized he actually found it fascinating.

So, here are the options.

1.) Reporter

2.) Teacher/Caretaker

3.) Archeology

They finally asked when they couldn’t take the suspense anymore.

Marvel: “Oh uhm… well, I don’t work often, (doesn’t work often as Marvel, he works quite often as Billy) but every now and then, I help with unloading pallets and stuff.”

That was… not what they expected. After this conversation, Clark not so sneakily snuck Billy his business card for the Planet. Wondy straight up just gave him the card. Batman didn’t know what to do other than reset to his default and actually sneakily snuck like a thousand dollars to Marvel.