#Clark kent is a bad dad

[tiger-grace]

Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?

Bruce: Rehab.

Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?

Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.

[littlefankingdom]

The Young Justice animated show really made Batman "not the step dad, but the dad that stepped up", especially for Kon.

Like, not only does he go out with Clark to lecture him about being a good father figure to Kon after they found him, but in the comics, in the first issue, Kon spends all day waiting for Clark to check on him, clearly expecting some kind of father-son dynamic, only for Bruce to send child support so he can buy himself clothes and pay Wally's parents for the expenses during his stay with them.

He just met the kid and he has set up a trust fund for him. In this show, he probably has a trust fund for all the team's members. If anyone of them want to go to college, Batman is paying.

[maisnamedmoon]

The Birds Of Gotham #1

This is part one of, well maybe a series, i dont know yet, i guess it depends on if people like it. So leave a comment if you want more parts!

POV: Me acting this whole thing out infront of my mirror and my cat watching me like, "What is wrong with her?".

Here is my AO3 again, all my fics will be postet there a few days before they are posted here.

"Never Been Bats, have we?"

“How dare you call me?” Nightwing spat out before he even fully materialized in the Zeta Tube.

“Nightwing, what are you talking about?” Superman, ever the boyscout, tried to diffuse the situation. His efforts were ignored, instead Nightwing, who was in sweatpants and a T-Shirt with leggings and a long-sleeved shirt underneath, instead of his suit, domino mask peeling off slightly at the edges, singled in on Batman.

“How dare you call me up here, when I was the one sitting on Steph’s bedside, rubbing her back, when she was coughing up blood the whole night?” The vigilante seemed close to ripping the bat’s head off, weren’t he in the middle of the Watchtower, surrounded by heroes.

“Everyone gets hurt on patrol at some point, get yourself together.” Batman finally turned from the computer to his former protege.

“Oh! That’s what you think I’m mad about? I know that everyone gets hurt at one point or another, that basically comes with the job! What I’m mad about is the fact that I shouldn’t be the one sitting next to your children the whole night, making sure they keep breathing! I should not be the one making sure my siblings don’t die, while you are up here or down in the cave, looking over case files!” Shocked gasps ran through the rows of heroes, partially because they didn't know Batman had other children and partially because, how could he?

“It should not be me who they call for help, when they are injured or sick in the middle of the night, simply because they know I will come and care for them, instead of telling them that they have to work in every situation and that it’s good training! They are children for fucks sake! They aren’t machines, that can be repaired when they are broken! That’s not how bodies work, not how human minds work, once they are broken, they will never be whole again! Just look at Jason, but when have you ever done that? When have you ever seen us as the fragile children we were, we are?”

“Nightw-”

“No! I should not be the one who reminds Tim to take his antibiotics! I should not be the one to always carry emergency Epipens with me, simply because you don’t even know that Duke is allergic to Peanuts! I bet you didn’t even notice that they changed their emergency contact in their files months ago!” Batman seemed to crumble with every word Nightwing said.

“Now if you’d excuse me, I have to go buy snacks for family game night” That seemed to be it, the big scary bat, in his black kevlar suit fell forward on his knees, not so big and scary any more.

“Yes! Game Night!” The young speedster sprinted forward towards Nightwing, “Can we get M&M’s?”

“Of course”, Nightwing looked down at Bart, his demeanour completely changed, lips curled in a smile, “You coming?”, he looked up at the Young Justice team hovering in the corner, knowing better than to stand in the way, when their leader starts yelling his disappointment at someone.

“As long as we don’t play Monopoly again” Superboy stepped up next to the duo, shoving Bart towards the Zeta Tube.

“Don’t worry, Monopoly has a lifetime ban, so does DKT. I actually don’t plan on anyone getting stabbed or shot tonight.” Bart opened his mouth to retort something, but Batman, who seemed to be in the condition to talk again, was faster.

“Richard” He whispered, looking pleadingly at his son, who’s smile dropped in an instant, expression turning so icy that Connor and Bart took a step back.

“Don’t you ‘Richard’ me.” Nightwing – Richard – walks until he stands in front of his father, coking his head like he was thinking about something, he crouches down so that he was face to face with a man that would probably even find a way to give blowjobs standing, just so he didn’t have to bow to anyone.

“You know, the others had a bet; What will happen first, me snapping or you ‘The Worlds Greatest Detective’ figuring out that slowly but surely, you have grown to be the only Bat Gotham has. But then again, we have never been Bats, have we? We have always been the Robins, tiny little, cute Robins. That’s the way you raised us, like birds, being shoved out the secure nest – fly or die. But we flew, we flew and we grew, out of the cute, little Robin persona, into something bigger, something more lethal, that you simply can’t control any more. Your cute little Robins grew into birds of prey, while you, the lonely little bat, grow old and weak in your cave. Do you know what happens when bats grow old, weak and lonely, their only friend justice and their moral code? They simply can’t hold themselves at the top any more and then they fall and shatter on the cave floor. With no one looking for them, because bats grow up in the safety of their cave, having everything served to them on a silver platter, while birds learn to either fly or die.”

Nighwing kept his voice cool and hard through his whole speech, not moving from his spot in front of Batman, the man in question looking close to tears by the end of it. Even the heroes of earth, it’s first line of defence, looked shocked, not sure if they should help Batman, make sure that Nightwing hasn’t turned evil or agree with what the young man said. So most of them are just standing there, looking confused and slightly shell shocked at the revelations.

Richard just stood back up and turned to his father once again, “Maybe bats shouldn’t be raising birds in a bird way, expecting them to turn out as bats.”, Nightwing turned back towards the Zeta Tube, ignoring the man kneeling on the floor in the middle of the Watchtower, just to stop next to Bart and Connor “Good talk, Bruce”.

With that he ruffles Bart’s hair, “Lets go get your M&M’s”, and the trio dematerializes back to earth.

[necrotic-nephilim]

6,23

for the choose violence ask game!

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

oooh, this is hard. generally any sort of "fans of this thing are annoying" for me comes with the caveat that i don't think it's *all* fans and i don't even think it's most fans, but rather a loud minority that has shaped the ship as a whole. for some reason JayRoy tends to come to mind the most, because i've been slowly dipping my toes into the Arrowfamily and i cannot *stand* any JayRoy opinions on Oliver's parenting. i think JayRoy can be blamed for a *lot* of the misunderstandings some fans have about Oliver and Roy's relationship, as well as the existence of the Arrowfam in the first place beyond just Oliver, Roy, Dinah, and inexplicably Artemis Crock, bc Young Justice (tv) will never stop leaving its mark.

any time someone gets shipped with a Batfam member, their entire fandom presence surrounds the Batfamily and headcanons are all about Bruce adopting them too and them just being another face in Wayne Manor. and for whatever reason, Roy is one of the worst victims of this. so much JayRoy content doesn't even care to acknowledge Roy's bonds with the Arrowfam, his *daughter*, his complex relationship with Chesire, his relationship with the Titans and the Outsiders, and so forth. he's just Jason's rescue boyfriend. if i have to see one more JayRoy fan act like Bruce needs to save Roy from Oliver and they badly cite Snowbirds Don't Fly, i might lose it.

i think this could also extend to TimKon as well, with a *lot* of TimKon fans not understanding Kon's relationship to the Superfamily and *grossly* demonizing Clark for the sake of Kon being Tim's rescue boyfriend. like the misunderstandings fanon has about Clark and Kon will never not infuriate me, and i *do* think TimKon carries a brunt of that blame bc it falls into the "Kon is another orphan that Bruce takes in" vibes.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

JayRose i think is a recent one! i used to dislike JayRose bc it felt underdeveloped and like slapping two characters with daddy issues together, but i've lately been more and more enticed by it bc of a beloved anon who has so many delightful JayTimRose thoughts. ironically i could also say JayRoyTim, bc initially it was not my speed but once again, some anons have begrudgingly convinced me, which is impressive bc i never thought i would come around to a ship involving JayRoy for all of the above reasons. i've also been coming around to BatJokes as of recent. i never hated BatJokes but it was certainly never For Me. lately though, that faith has been questioned and i've been interested in it.

the one i've been very unwilling to but have somehow gotten dragged into is JayTalia. i was always turned off by how that was handled in Lost Days and hated the pairing. but... i've been enticed by the dead dove potential of it. i'm being converted. to be fair i still think it was mishandled in Lost Days but... i'm sort of coming around to enjoying it for what it is. idk how i ended up here but i will take any excuse to whump Jason.

[ravenpureforever]

The opinion Clark is Superboys dad should hsve been aborted before it ever became a twinkle in someone's eye

Yeah you see personally I’m not ready for parenthood in anyway if I found out that someone made a 16 year old with half my dna while I was dead and that 16 year old didn’t even have a name and was living in a government lab I’d at least make the effort to be involved in his helping him set up a non-superhero related personal life and not be involved with the ethically dubious lab that created him, you know?

I’m not saying he has to be full on dad and I’m not saying he was this terrible monster to Superboy, I’m just saying he could stepped a lot more in a lot of ways and he didn’t and because he’s Superman, paragon of goodness and doing the right thing and helping others, and Superboy was actively exploited by other adults in his life rather publicly and homeless at one point is shall we say a bad look

He doesn’t have to be full on “I’m your dad let’s go out for ice cream son” but the fact he had a kid related to him at the very least very publicly dating a much older woman and didn’t have an actual name until like a year into his existence is a very much you could have stepped up at the very least as a mentor a lot more, Clark

Also being a dad isn’t the only way you can be there for someone

Peace and love, anon

[vitapeaks]

I NEED Ma Kent to meet Kara. My poor girl needs some love and some food. I want to see Kara try Ma Kents apple pie

I also think that Ma will be so happy to meet Kara like Clarks family is also her family and Kara is gonna need some family love

[dasha022]

Don't mess with ghost parents if you want to continue alive Chapter 3 on Ao3

Ellie was sitting on one of the individual couches, her fingers couldn't stop fidgeting with each other. She doesn't know how many times she had seen the teenager sitting in front of her before she looked away in order to not overwhelm him.

But, she just couldn't help it. He was her son, her ghost baby. Well, half ghost baby and half alien, but he was hers. Being a ghost herself she knew what having a ghost baby represented. At least in descriptive theory. However, she didn't think her own experience would be so mind-blowingly overwhelming.

Her ghostly maternal instincts could not be appeased, let alone diverted from keeping her attention on her whelp.

Pandora had explained to her in detail what being a ghost mother; whether by ghost "natural" way or core bonding, meant. This after the ghost goddess would adopt both Danny and her and Jazz.

Just remembering how clingy, fierce and overprotective the warrior was with them the first few years she felt ashamed to complain back then. For now, she was in her adoptive mother's place and wanted to have some of the control the goddess had developed when they couldn't stay in the Ghost Zone as long due to college.

Ellie looked at the restless fingers on her hands and bit the inside of her cheek inconspicuously.

Although, in this case none of that options fit her current situation. Because she didn't do the bees and flowers thing with someone liminal, human or ghost, nor did she acquire the child through adoption; core link. In this case, someone got her genetic code and the one from a super hero alien, and did all the work for her.

... For some reason, that last sentence feels weird and wrong.

Best not to think about it.

Looking again at the boy who was receiving clarification from her older sister, the anxieties of hugging and cuddling him in a nest of sheets inside her haunt in the Ghost Zone resurfaced again when he looked back at her. The anxiety increases when the teenager immediately withdraws his eyes from her. But now with fear for be ignoring by her little boy.

She almost let out a disconsolate trill. However, she didn't. Danny was watching her leaning back against the wall and holding her new niece in his arms. She wasn't going to give him a reason to stretch that shit-eating grin on his face.

[desperatecheesecubes]

Listen, i don’t think Clark is Kons dad nor do I want him to be but I’m still delighted every time he acts paternally towards him

[dp-clarkjkent]

i know your secret identity

Your Green lantern!

Oh no! You caught me!

It is indeed mine! They didn't have it in blue where I was shopping, so I took green instead.

[wings-of-angels]

Nonsensical Connor Kent meme

[not-so-superheroine]

hmm. reminds me of someone.

[everwalldigan]

Hear me out: Robin Dick would be the biggest Bruceman supporter and shipper.

This boy hates any of Bruce’s love interest with a passion because then his dad guardian spends less time with him and that’s obviously UNACCEPTABLE, SCANDALOUS even, so when rumours start circulating that Bruce Wayne is in a relationship with the Batman, he jumps right on the wagon.

Reporter, thirsty for a story: Mr Grayson what do you think about the rumours that Bruce Wayne is dating the Batman?

Dick: What do I think about my dads you mean? My very married very taken dads? My very faithful to each other plural dads?

He would fuel the rumours both as Robin and as Dick Grayson, punching criminals for talking bad about Wayne enterprises as Robin (“THAT’S MY STEPDADS COMPANY YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”). He would be on online forums all day talking about how Bruceman is the only Batman ship that makes sense and Doxxing people who disagree.

Bruce is so exasperated because this is happening at a time where only Alfred and Dick know his real identity so he can’t even do anything with ANYONE without making either Bruce Wayne or Batman look unfaithful.

Throw Reporter Clark Kent into the mix who has been sent to scope out the Bruceman story, who Bruce makes the mistake of flirting with at a gala. Both Clark AND dick are scandalised.

Dick, making a scene: HOW COULD YOU! BATMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME AND YOURE HERE FLIRTING WITH SOME… SOME REPORTER??

Bruce, sighing: Dick-

Dick, tugging on Bruce’s suit and looking up at him with fake tears in his eyes: Dad, are you and dad getting a divorce? :(

Clark, panicking: NO NO THEYRE NOT GETTING A DIVORCE PLEASE DONT CRY

Meanwhile:

Bruce, crying in the corner: he called me dad

He would even go as far as insisting that Robin is his step sibling

Principal: how do you explain that whenever Robin is injured, Dick fails to show up at school the next day?

Dick: Robin and I are twins :) so when he’s injured I’m injured too and we have to stay home together!!

Bruce, whispering: I’m sorry, they’re not really twins but neither I or Bats have the heart to tell hem

[thegothamgazettereportermarie]

Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

A Guidebook to Drinking Coffee by lovelytime

12/12 chapters

Summary: Bruce Wayne had a guide for everything in his life. He knew exactly when to laugh, when to say "thank you" and when to pretend he was drunk. He could muster tears on the spot and entertain an entire ballroom. He knew what to do, and how to do it, to get exactly what he wanted. But Clark Kent came with no guide.

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO cute

obsessed with the idea that bruce acts like lucille bluth when he's being airheaded socialite brucie wayne😂

here's a bonus brucie with reporter clark kent:

[mx-heinous]

Imagine in some universe, Bruce, Brucie, and Batman are actually a system, and that the Tired Dad TM, mildly eccentric bimbo, and the personification of vengeance itself, are all sharing a brain.

-----------------------------

*The Trinity holding the lasso of truth to share their identities*

Wonder Woman: I am Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Zeus and Hippolyta

Superman: Kal-el of Krypton, also known as Clark Kent

Batman: Batman

Clark and Diana, realizing what Batman just said: *weird looks*

Batman: The other guys are asleep

-----------------------------

Brucie, not as aware at first about the whole vigilantism, waking up mildly concussed: Man, last night was wild, what a hangover.

-----------------------------

Bad Guy of the week: Now that you've inhaled my truth serum, I can finally ask you this! Are you or are you not Bruce Wayne?

Batman: I'm not. That's a completely separate person.

Bad Guy: But, BUT I SAW YOU–

Audience Member 1: You saw a drunk billionaire at a costume party

Bad Guy: Whatever! What's your secret identity?!

Batman: I don't have one. I'm Batman.

Bad Guy: BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE?!

Audience Member 2: Look at this wackjob, thinking that the cryptid motherfucker's secretly a normal person

Audience Member 3: Thanks a lot for wasting our time, asshole

-----------------------------

Terry: How'd you know those voices weren't yours?

Batman: For one thing, they kept calling me Bruce

[plethorawrites]

ahh your recent clark kent drabble has me so dizzy ,, him begging you not to make noise and he’d probably force his fingers into your mouth, down your throat, your little gags probably wouldn’t be much better, but better for him than hearing your moans ��

MY PHONE FLEWWW FROM MY HAND WHEN I SAW THIS!!! But I absolutely see the vision! (This was longer and more explicit than planned. Oops? If anyone asks, I didn't write this and if you know me irl... please alert me so I can off myself)

Clark Kent, who adores having that little loft space in the barn because it's the perfect quiet spot for you and him to spend time together when his parents are home or you just don't want to risk getting caught. His couch is pretty comfortable too, so when he lays you down on it, it's more than enough space for you, even if he's barely able to fit on top of you.

It's usually peaceful, the two of you with just just enough privacy to make some noise without getting caught and just enough lack of it to add to the thrill of being in front of an open barn window while you're vertical. Despite not really fitting on it, he wouldn't dare complain when he had you laying under him, your legs intertwined with his, head tilted back against the arm rest as you held onto his neck.

If freezing time was one of his powers, he'd use it right then and there to memorize everything about this moment—your open lips, which were puffy from him biting on them and the bruises darkening on your neck as the seconds passed. The messy strands of your hair sticking to your face, which was flushed and glowing in the dim lighting. It's like his own persona heaven.

Or, it was, until he heard the barn door slide open.

He'd tried to stop, when he heard it, honestly, he did. Clark could see your eyes snap open, panic replacing your bliss, and wanted desperately to make you go back to babbling his name again. But considering his dad was below them, searching for something, that seemed like a bad idea.

After a few moments of complete stillness, he couldn't handle it anymore, and regardless of the risk, held your hips as he slowly went back to what he was doing, thrusting in and out of you. His teeth sink into his bottom lip, eyes trained on you as you try, very weakly to quietly argue with him about pausing and getting dressed, but before your argument even fully leaves your lips it's cut off with a whimper.

He shushes you, his eyes getting serious the way they sometimes did when something was important to him. One of his hands left your hips to readjust the blanket that was loosely draped over both of your waists and thighs, bringing you a tad of comfort before another, much louder moan, left your lips.

His hand immediately went to your mouth, his teeth clenching as he panted heavily, pressing his face to your neck, sucking another hickey on it, before pulling away to look at you. Your eyes met his for a moment before they rolled back and your spine arched a bit.

"You're getting there, aren't you?" You whispered in your ear, feeling you fall apart for him. "Go ahead," he encouraged. "Just stay quiet." His hand dug further into your hip and another of your whines was absorbed by his hand. "Shhh, quiet," he said again. "You gotta be careful."

You were trying. Honestly.

You could hear his dad throwing boxes around, looking for something and struggling to find it. He pulled your leg up, wrapping it around his waist and the movement, the way you could feel him so much better made another, much louder moan leave your lips.

Clark winced, pressing his face to your neck to muffle himself as his hand pushed harder against your lips. Your hand gripped his wrist tightly and he cursed under his breath. "I know, I know you don't like having your mouth covered, I'm sorry," he apologized, kissing your cheek. "It's just for a little bit."

You shook your head weakly, protesting and he gritted his teeth, his head swimming as he tried to balance too many thoughts at once. His hand left your mouth, two of his fingers pushing past your lips. "Is this better?" He asked, panting against your neck as his fingers pressed down on your tongue, sliding into the back of your throat, making you gag.

The sound made him moan, and he buried his face against your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo for a moment. Your hand dragged down his back, and his head fell, pressing his forehead to your shoulder for a moment.

"That's it," he praised, his fingers sliding in and out of your mouth, exploring it. "So much quieter like this." Some box went thud against the floor below but all he cared about was the feeling of your tongue under the pads of his fingertips as they pushed towards the back of your throat, eliciting little gags from you. He lifted his head, kissing your forehead, your temple, your cheek, your jaw, your neck.

Clark's teeth sink into your shoulder as he reaches his climax, trying to keep himself as quiet as possible by biting down on your flesh, the sharp canine teeth causing you to yelp. His fingers forced their way so far back in your throat you felt like you were choking, but it successfully stole the sound of pain from your mouth.

His teeth left your skin after a moment and he soothed the area with his tongue, before pressing a kiss to your shoulder. "You're doing so well for me," he promised you, his fingers messaging your tongue as he felt your body go rigid under him. "Just like that, sweetheart. Keep gagging for me."

The next sound to leave your mouth was the loudest, but once again, his fingers swallowed the noise before it even left your mouth. They scraped the back of your throat, tears pricked in your eyes as you gagged, your entire body tensing up before going completely slack.

His fingers gently slid back out of your mouth and laid his head on your shoulder as his entire weight slowly crushed you. He buried his face in your neck, his hands finding your hair and threading through the locks.

"You're perfect," he mumbles, gently massaging your scalp, pushing your hair around, tangling it. "So damn perfect," he repeated again, out of breath and exhausted as he placed another kiss to your neck.