#Cass calls him ‘Damian Cassandra Wayne’
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insertcoolusernamehereee · 1 year ago
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HEAR ME OUT.
Credit to @arrowheadedbitch for the idea! For those who haven’t seen they’re post, here’s the basic idea:-
Y’know how Damian doesn’t have a middle name? Yeah, so do you also know how siblings constantly shout each others full name to annoy/scare the other? So I pictured a few scenarios of when his siblings quickly thought of a ‘random’ middle name for him:-
Damian:- TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE WAYNE!!!
Tim:- DAMIAN TIMOTHY AL-GHUL WAYNE!!
Damian:-
Tim:-
Damian:-
Tim:- That’s was completely on accident-
Duke:- Omg
:-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-:
Stephanie:- DAMIAN STEPHANIE AL-GHUL WAYNE!
Damian:- *annoyed* What do you want Brown-
Stephanie:-
Damian:- WAIT-
Stephanie:- OMFG DUKE IT WORKED, OMG OMG-
:-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-:
Damian:- RICHARD JHON GRAYSON-WAYNE!?
Dick:- Oh Um- you’re full naming me-
Damian:- *glare*
Dick:- Uhm, DAMIAN, RICHARD AL-GHUL WAYNE???
Damian:-
Dick:-
Damian:-
Dick:- …Y’know, that actually has a ring to it-
Damian:- nO-
:-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-:
Alfred:- Damian Pennyworth Al-Ghul Wayne, Come over here in this very instant!
Damian:-
Jason:-
Bruce:-
Tim:-
Dick:-
Cassandra:-
Duke:- Awww Alfred! I told you to make it Damian Duke Al-Ghul Wayne :((
:-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-:
Bonus:-
I also think Bruce would just be very confused on what Damian’s middle name should be??? So, here ya go:-
Reporter:- Awww! And what is Damian’s full name?
Bruce:-
Bruce:- *Looks at his children*
Jason:- Damian Princess of Themiscara Wayne :) (Al-Ghul removed due to press)
Bruce:-
Damian, sulkily:- It’s better than Damian ‘JaSoN’ Wayne >:(
Bruce:-
Bruce, Tiredly:- His name is Damian Princess of Themiscara Wayne
Reporter:- ???
Talia, watching from the League for some reason:- ?!?
:-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-:
The reblogs to this are pure gold! Check em out.
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ghostbsuter · 1 year ago
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There was a teen in the cave.
A teen no one knows and looks like he could be a wayne, stands in the cave.
"Actually, I'm a wayne." He says with a shrug.
Bruce, Batman, carefully thinks of the implication.
"Not yet," The teen, Danny, doesn't say anything. Simple smiles. "You're not a wayne, yet. You will be. But not yet."
Then Bruce sighs, dropping the batman mask in order to take in the teen.
"Does future me know of the time travel?"
Dannys smile grows into a grin, deciding to take pity on the man. "You, grandbat, have..." He makes a vague gesture. "Theories, which none of your children ever confirmed."
The bat's mind short-circuits at the choice of words
Dick is sputtering incomprehensibly, there are Baffled expression all around.
Because.
Because that child isn't Bruce's, but one of theirs.
"Who is it?" Jason demands, hand clenching his gun uselessly.
Danny continues to smile, a hint of mischief now peeking out.
The cave is filled with theories, some yell, some sob, yet all eyes leave danny.
All but one pair.
She had known the moment his body language switched just enough for her to read.
She had known the moment he disappeared before the clan.
Had known when his hand found hers, shoulders bumping.
Her heart clenches, throat dry and memories of her childhood flooding to mind.
So she asks, voice soft and hesitant.
"Am I a good mother?"
And danny looks up at cass, adoration and pride laid out plain for her to see and accept.
"You're the best."
And so they both watch the clan together, silent and comfortable.
(Cass doesn't question when she finds him, how and why. All she knows is that she's more attentive when out on patrol, looking and waiting.)
(This is how Cassandra Cain-Wayne returns one night from patrol, a child, barely out of toddler stage and clinging to her form.)
(This is how the Batclan officially meets one Daniel James Cain-Wayne, freshly washed and clothed, a cookie in hand and hiding shyly behind Cass.)
(When they meet, all they say is "Welcome home, danny," and "Good to see you again.", Danny doesn't necessarily get it, but that's okay. Maybe his new mom will explain it one day when he's bigger.)
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batobbsession · 4 months ago
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Now lets remember that Tim has three different blond friends-Steph,Cassie and Cissie. Two of them have super similar names too.
Bruce can not tell them apart at first. He assumes they're all the same person and doesn't even give it a second thought. They're all a little confused why he keeps telling them things they know nothing about but they aren't about to argue with batman.
Then one day Tim calls over all his friends only for Bruce to have the realization that there was 3 different people all along. Bonus points if Greta's there since she's also technically blond.
Not to mention that Cassie and Greta have powers and Cissie and Stephanie don't. Bruce isn't even sure if this friend is a meta for all this time.
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thatsnotahoodjason · 2 years ago
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bruce's kids deciding to hide around the house and the first one bruce finds has to go with him to the next gala..
but bruce not finding any of them and none of them are replying on comms or their phones and he thinks they've been kidnapped. he goes to get help from the justice league and starts an investigation.
a couple hours later, alfred finds jason sitting in the freezer reading macbeth and eating ice cream with a huge coat on
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thecatnamedorangeblossom · 7 months ago
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Okay, but the time Nightwing showed up to tell Damian Wayne's bully to fuck off only essentially confirmed the prevalent theory that the Bats are Bruce Wayne's sugar babies. This is why Nightwing is so protective of Bruce Wayne's actual baby.
Honestly it'd be even greater if younger Superman (Jon Kent) found out some asshole had the audacity to steal Damian's art notebook and rip the pages out. And now the asshole is being dangled over a school building by a ranting Kryptonian who's busy saying "You're never touching Damian or his things ever again! Got it!?!"
i need the batfam fandom to give damian the same energy we give tom hollands peter parker in fics like
i want Field Trip to Wayne Enterprises fics
fics where damian gets phone calls from his famous siblings in class
fics where damian has to deal with the other kids watching thirst traps of his older siblings
fics where he’s getting bullies and one of them shows up in full vigilante attire to scare the middle school bully
just
damian al ghul wayne fanfic that centers around his school life and protective family
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ditzybat · 4 months ago
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i love the headcannon that both tim and cass look scarily alike, to the point they could be twins.
like they both share the same general lithe build, they’re the same short height, cass has a short bob while tim has his baby mullet, their training is similar due to their backgrounds with lady shiva and the loa, and (depending on your headcanon) both waisan- so i can definitely see instances where they’re confused for each other or where they mess with everyone around them.
cass on patrol in red robin gear so tim can go on a date with bernard:
random thugs seconds away from being one hit k.o’d: yo since when did red robin start melting into the shadows like an eldritch horror?
jason: hey tim -
cass: wrong.
jason: no, im pretty sure you’re tim, i gave you that scar right there in your neck
cass: nu-uh, this is from cain
jason:
cass:
jason: well this got awkward…
steph hugging tim from behind: hey babe
tim: wrong wayne
steph: ew, i should’ve known, your ass isnt nearly as —
tim walking away with his fingers in his ears: lalalalala im not listening to you
damian: i think you’re the only one in this family i respect
tim who has been silently hanging out with him for the past 3 hours: aw thanks damian, i’ve come to love you like a brother too
damian: drake? i thought you were cassandra, my apologies, i retract my previous statement
tim: don’t care, you love me, don’t try to deny it
lady shiva hugging both tim and cass: my beautiful twins, such well trained weapons, unfortunate that you both ended up with cain
bruce pulling his children back: tim isnt yours…
shiva: well that cant be right, he’s s the spitting image of my sister carolyn, and that birth was far too painful to only produce one small child
tim: woah full circle, my drag-sona is called caroline, maybe you are my mom, i wouldn’t put it past janet drake to adopt
bruce: tim no, you’re not even the same type of asian
cass: too late, we’re blood
shiva: see!
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demonicsuffrage · 12 days ago
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Headcanon that when the batkids are mad at Bruce or just, mildly annoyed, they deliberately use last names that piss Bruce off, a lot.
Kidnappers over the phone: We have Richard Wayne in our custody, if you want to see him again-
Dick, mad after Bruce made him throw out the discowing suit, in a muffled voice: It's actually Richard Grayson-Kent, get it right
Bruce, on the verge of a heart attack: Chum Please
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barista at Batburger: What would you like your coffee cup to say?
Tim, not mad, just mildly annoyed at the way Bruce did the reports last night: My name is Tim Jordan-Gardener-Cruz-Scott
Bruce, clutching his Jokerized fries so hard veins appear: You're grounded
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author, at a book signing event: And who should I address this to?
Jason, after Bruce had let the Joker live yet again: To Jason Dent, please
Bruce, standing in line next to him, whom Jason had brought along to pay for the signed copy: I should make Harvey pay child support
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Announcer: And the award goes to, Ms Cassandra Isley-Quinn!
Cass, mad because Bruce missed another one of her recitals, walking up to the stage:
Bruce:
Bruce, signing to her: You're killing me, you know that? You're killing your father
Harley, sitting next to Bruce along with Ivy: Yes! That's our daughter!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duke, calling some shady Gotham lawyer right in front of Bruce after he lectured him a little too much about keeping up secret identities: Hi, how much to legally change my name to Duke Thomas-Queen?
Shady lawyer: About 50$
Duke: Got it. Hey Bruce can I borrow 50$?
Bruce:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steph doesn't use the Wayne name anyway, but sometimes she uses it for Benefits™
Damian would much rather die than adopt the last name of anyone in the justice league or the batrouges or anyone except his very infamous lineages, because he doesn't want to associate with incompetent people
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mostly-imagines · 7 months ago
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Hi!! If you're up to it do you think you could write something about the first time Jason brings his gf to the manor. Like maybe he brings her in but doesn't tell anyone and so everyone is trying to sneak a glimpse of her??
meet the family
jason todd x fem!reader
aka jason has a girlfriend???
warnings: none
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The manor sits full as ever—a cloud of mild boredom sweeping over the Wayne clan.
Dick sits perched on top of an armchair reading a catalog, Stephanie’s splayed out across the couch, Cass is bundled up in blankets atop the ottoman, and Damian leans up against the center table from the floor.
It’s a relatively slow afternoon, until Tim comes bursting into the room, out of breath.
“There’s a girl here!”
Everybody looks at him, disinterest scattered across the room. “There’s a couple of ‘em.” Dick says, flipping through the pages of the magazine.
Tim huffs, “No! In Jason’s room—he has a girl in there!” Eyebrows shoot up at that.
“Now I know you’re lying.” Damian mutters.
Tims head snaps over to Damian. “Dude, go see for yourself. I heard her!”
“You really think Jason would bring a girl here and not even introduce us?” Steph asks, unconvinced.
“Yeah.”
“Yes.”
“Obviously.”
Cassandra nods fervently.
“Okay, yeah. Maybe.” Stephanie mutters. “I bet he’ll introduce me before any of you guys, though.”
Dick barks out a laugh, “You’re nothing short of delusional if you think he’s introducing any of us.”
“We’ll have to take matters into our own hands, then.” Tim says, decidedly.
Damian audibly sighs and rolls his eyes.
“I’m meeting her first.” Steph confirms. “I’ll put money down right now.”
“Meet her or see her?” Cass signs.
“Same thing.” Stephanie shrugs.
Dick shoots up from his seat, “First person to see her gets to be the ring bearer!” He announces, racing out of the room.
Knock knock knock knock knock…
Knock knock.
It takes a good forty seconds, but Jason opens the door, an annoyed frown already on his face.
Dick gives him his brightest smile. It beams of deceit in Jason's eyes. “Hey man. What’cha doing?”
He crosses his arms. “What do you want?”
Dick tries to peer around Jason into the room, but Jason made a point of barely opening the door and his large frame isn’t doing Dick any favors right now.
“Just wanted to say hey…You wanna hang out?”
“No.”
Dick lingers awkwardly. “…Are you sure?”
Jason shuts the door.
A couple minutes later, Tim comes running up the stairs. He opts to skip over the courtesy of knocking and go straight for barging through the door himself. Or he would’ve, if Jason hadn’t seen that coming from a mile away and locked it.
“Fuck off, Tim!” Jason calls from inside the room.
“You lost your right to privacy the second you walked in this house!” He shouts back, hitting his fist against the door.
And Tim swears he can hear a sweet laugh as he trudges away. The authenticity of that claim will be heavily debated downstairs for the next several minutes.
Not even a thirty seconds later, Stephanie comes a knockin’. Jason opens the door wordlessly, patience clearly dissipating more and more.
“Hey, Jason! I can’t find my comm, you wouldn’t happen to have it, would you?”
His face deadpans. “No, Steph.”
Stephanie clicks her tongue, “Can you check?”
He stares at her.
“Actually you’re right, it would be faster if I did.” Stephanie tries to push past him into the room, but Jason, unsurprisingly, doesn’t budge.
“Stephanie.”
“I just want to meet her!” She pleads. “I won’t even tell the others, I’ll just say you wouldn’t let me in either!”
“Bye.” He closes the door.
He doesn’t make it all the way back to the bed before the next knock, singular and short.
Jason snaps the door open again, looking down at Damian with a glare.
Never one to waste any time, “Is there a girl in here?” Damian asks, seeming thoroughly disinterested in the answer.
Jason shuts the door in his face.
Several minutes later, another, quieter knock. Jason’s groan can be heard from outside the room. He pulls open the door once again.
It’s Cass.
She stares at him.
He stares at her.
“Can I say hi to her?” She signs.
Jason sighs. “I’ll pass along the message.”
She smiles and turns back down the hall.
Jason closes and locks the door once again, trudging back over to the bed where you lay. He collapses onto your chest, your arms wrapping around each others bodies immediately.
“Cass says hi.” He mumbles, the sound obscured by his face-down position.
“That message would be a lot more meaningful if I actually knew Cass.”
He groans. “You don’t want to meet them.”
“I do.” You say, running your fingers through his hair. “And I think you do too, or you wouldn’t have brought me to the house where the world's best detectives live.”
“I’m starting to regret it now.”
“Come on. Please?” You plead.
He picks his head up to look at you.
“Are you sure?” He asks with a grimace.
“Absolutely.” You say, topping it off with a kiss on his cheek.
He sighs.
Well. It’s never been within Jason’s skill set to deny you, anyways.
You descend the stairs hand in hand with Jason, his energy mopier than usual. You can hear a gaggle of voices coming from a room ahead, all talking over one another.
“Okay, Tim, you climb up outside the window and—”
“—It’s your plan, you scale the side of the house.”
Jason drops his head and mutters a “Jesus Christ…” as you near the commotion.
You give him a reassuring smile and pat his back as you both move into the doorway.
Everyone’s heads snap to the doorway, eyes wide and waiting.
Jason takes a deep breath like he’s steeling himself for torture. “Guys…This is my girlfriend.”
“Hi.” You smile sweetly, waving to the room.
There’s a moment of still silence before the room erupts.
“Hold on—”
“—my god, she’s so pretty!”
“Oh wow—”
“Wait, what?”
”—You’re real?”
“—didn’t place that bet.”
Stephanie comes scurrying up to you and grabs both of your hands in hers. “Hi, I’m Steph!” She says with a beaming smile. “What’s your name?”
“I’m—”
But the others are right on her tail, crowding around you.
“We didn’t even know Jason had a girlfriend.” Tim says.
“Still not convinced.” Damian mumbles from the back.
Cass waves and signs something to you.
“She says we’re really happy to meet you, which we are.” Dick tells you.
Damian moves closer within the huddle and inspects you closely. You have no idea what he’s inspecting you for. You don’t need to dwell on it for long because Jason pushes his head away from you with mild force making Damian scowl.
Stephanie chimes in, “Did he bring you here to meet us? The others said—”
Jason cuts her off, already knowing exactly where that sentence was going. “I brought her here to show her my old room.”
Dick snickers, “Oh, is that what you were off doing?”
“Watch it.” Your boyfriend warns.
You nudge him with your elbow, be nice.
Tim moves closer to you, narrowing his eyes. “So you’ve like, spent time with him and everything? And you still want to be around him?”
“Okay and you’re done.” Jason takes your hand and leads you out of the room and back down the hallway.
“No wait!”
You’re already out of the room and into another and then another before you can even realize that you’re headed for the front door.
You stop in your tracks, pulling him to a halt as well. “What about—”
Jason shakes his head. “You don’t want to meet him.”
You lower your chin at him, “Jay. Do you want me to meet him?”
He’s silent and doesn’t look like he particularly does.
You sigh, “Okay, do you want him to meet me?”
“I—yeah…” he trails, and you give him your best sweet eyes, the ones that he knows he has no business saying no to. “I…okay. Okay.”
He leads you down another hallway, the sounds of his siblings clambering echoing in the distance. You end up in a room that looks like a never used study, where Jason pushes on one of the walls. It slides open with a bit of force from him, revealing a door with a keypad next to it.
He types a series of numbers into it, and opens it up to a narrow passageway that looks remarkably like a cave.
The passageway leads down to a set of stairs, and you can hear the loud sound of water in the distance.
You’re quite nervous about walking into the Batcave, but you know Jason wouldn’t bring you anywhere near it unless he was sure it would be okay. Okay for you that is, more so than his father.
“Careful. It’s slippery.” Jason holds your hand the whole way down anyway, making sure to linger no more than a step and a half in front of you.
You see Bruce Wayne, sitting at a desk with a large array of computer screens in front of it, and case files scattered all throughout the surface.
He doesn’t acknowledge your entrance, though you have to imagine if Jason got his observation skills from anywhere, it would be him.
As you approach, Jason switches your hands so that his left is holding your left. The result has his figure half covering you, you can only assume partially limiting Bruce’s view of you.
“Bruce.”
Bruce turns his chair around, regarding Jason with a raised chin. The greeting is somehow even more formal than you’d expected.
“Jason.” He readdresses his gaze to you. “Who’s this?”
Jason has a hell of a feeling that Bruce already knows exactly who you are. He’s probably known about you since you started dating. He would’ve had to, to not be pissed as hell that Jason brought a civilian into the cave.
Jason introduces you, his hand reluctantly letting go as you step forward to shake Bruce’s.
Bruce looks surprised, though pleasantly so. He smiles and shakes it kindly.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.” He says.
“You too, I’ve heard a lot about you.” You say, smiling.
He laughs, “Oh, I bet.” Looking to Jason, he says, “I can’t say I’ve had the same pleasure, unfortunately.”
Though Jason’s behind you now, you can practically feel him roll his eyes.
“No, I can’t imagine him sharing anything unprovoked.” Bruce smiles widely at that.
He opens his mouth to say something else, but Jason, who’s probably on the brink of losing his mind down here, interrupts.
“Alright. Time to go.” Jason says, grabbing your hand again. He doesn’t give you much time to protest before he’s guiding you by the waist past him and towards the stairs.
You let him nudge you out and call over your shoulder, “It was nice meeting you!”
He’s halfway up the stairs as you exit, only to be stopped by Bruce addressing him again.
“Jason.”
Jason stalls his steps, turning around slowly. You’re out of the cave now, and Jason’s not excited to be alone with his Dad for even a minute. It doesn’t help that he has no idea what he’ll say.
“She’s kind.” Bruce says, simply.
“Yes.”
He tilts his head at Jason, observing him. “You love her?”
Jason looks at the ground. “Yes.”
Bruce nods. “Good.”
He returns to his work at the computers wordlessly, and Jason has to take a moment to realign himself before he climbs the rest of the stairs.
Jason doesn’t particularly seek his fathers approval, nor does he place any definable value on it. However, hearing him give his own version of his blessing to you struck something inside Jason. Something deep in his chest.
He re-enters the study, finding it empty. He walks out into the hallway, where you’re nowhere to be found. Despite being halfway across the house by this point, he can distinctly hear his siblings chattering in the living room. Chattering. And chattering. And chattering…
Oh god, you went back to the living room.
As Jason approaches the conversation becomes clearer.
“—long have you been together, anyways?”
“Well—”
Stephanie gasps suddenly, cutting you off. “Oh wait, you have to meet Alfred!”
“Oh, we’ve already met.” You tell her.
Dick’s head snaps up. “What? When?”
Jason enters the room, draping his arm around your shoulder. “About six months before you met her.”
A chorus of gasps and shouts ring out.
“What?”
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ellana-ravenwood · 20 days ago
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“Batman, you need to-IS THAT A BABY ?!” - Batfam x Fem!reader
Synopsis : Bruce and Batmom bring their newborn daughter to the Watchtower, so she can meet their friends (or vice versa). Includes an overprotective Damian, League members who cannot believe the Batman is smiling, and other shenanigans.  
Oop, I’m back (?). My dudes. It’s been TWO YEARS since I last posted here. Two. Years. I posted like, two life update...don’t know if some of y’all saw it, but long story short : I got married, I have a son now, and everything is going so well in my life that I didn’t really need the validation I got from writing online...Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, I still love writing. And so, after quite a long break, here I am :). Hope you will enjoy this, don’t hesitate to let me know if you do : 
Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.
My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives
________________________________________________
“You’re evil, you know that right ?” You say, raising an eyebrow.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my love.” He answers, a small smile on his lips. You turn to him and...Oh that smug look, that smug look you loved so much. He definitely DEFINITELY knew what he was doing. 
And that it was utterly...evil. 
“It’s going to be FUN !” 
Ah, and here’s his little devil. Damian himself. He loved this. Partly because he thought it was funny to mess with everyone, partly because he liked showing that you guys were a family. 
“They won’t believe their eyes !” His little voice kept going, followed by a big roar of laughter that sounded, by all means, more childlike than devilish. 
“That they won’t, they always seem so surprised when Bruce acts like a human.” 
Jason. Still not calling Bruce “dad” (except sometimes, by “accident”, and even him don’t realize he did), he’d only slowly been back at the manor, with all of you. And, for sure, a certain important event which happened about four months ago made it so he came back to live at home.
Dick chuckled and added : “Who would blame them ? We’re talking about a man who eats his burgers with a knife and fork !” He gestured to his father with his left thumb, his other hand shielding part of his mouth as if he was telling them all a secret, as if he was trying to be discreet, so his dad wouldn’t hear...Always quite the little clown, that eldest son of yours. With his exaggerated mannerism, and that sparkle in his eyes, in his smile. 
“I’m certain some of them thought he was genuinely a cyborg for YEARS” Tim added, quite seriously, his tone the opposite of his older brother (and that was just his way of joking...you think). And honestly ? Yeah, you were pretty sure some of your friends at the JLA thought your husband was a robot, at one point. 
Oh yes. That’s where you were going, to the JLA’s headquarters. To execute Bruce’s plan. Quite the evil plan indeed. 
“Hell, even I thought he was one before I met you guys !” Duke chimed in, and that made Cassandra smile widely, as she shook her head up and down pointing at Duke as if to say : “what he just said”. 
And in a very Bruce manner, your husband kept a straight face, ignoring his children’s teasing. Only you, saw that twinkle in his eyes, that smile that might not reach his mouth, but was definitely dancing in those bright blue eyes. 
Oh yes. Yes, your friends were in for quite the surprise. 
************
Meanwhile, in the Justice League headquarters : 
“Oh, hey ! Look, Batman’s zeta tube is turning on ! We haven’t seen him in a while right ?”  
Indeed they haven’t. Because, well, let’s put it this way : Batman’s wife just had a baby. 
A baby girl (finally, right ? You and Cass weren’t TOO outnumbered anymore). 
And Batman had been VERY busy doting over his baby girl. 
Batman had been busy being Bruce Wayne. 
Just a man, who thought he’d never be happy again, not knowing how to handle all those feelings he had for his wife (for you), for his children. 
That was happiness then, right ? 
So, yes. Batman hasn’t been much at the JLA’s headquarters lately. But your husband thought, it was finally time to go see his friends a little bit. He knew they were all up there, because it was their monthly reunion (once each month, they gathered to talk about the state of the world, the universe, what threat lingered, what lurked beyond...and to get very drunk, and see their friends, the only ones who knew what it meant to be a “hero”). 
And that what’s made him particularly evil. 
He knew, they would all be there. He knew what their reaction was going to be. After all, his memory was amazing, he definitely hadn’t forgot the way they reacted the first time they saw you, the first time they learned he had children (childrEN, plural !). 
And he knew they were a little worried about him. 
He had missed their last three reunions, and only answered : “Everything is ok” to their messages asking if he was alright (they hadn’t dared to go see if he was indeed ok, because last time they did that, they found him bed ridden with all the bones in his body broken, and he got so mad at them for butting in his business he worked twice as hard when he was fine again, and didn’t talk a WORD for months...that was, of course, years ago, before you were in his life, but the experience was still in their minds and so, they decided to respect his privacy, he would come to them when ready). And he never pushed his “red button”, him, or anyone in the family. 
They just assumed he was busy, they hoped it wasn’t anything bad. 
Yes. They were worried. For him. For you. For your kids. For Alfred. For your dogs, your cats, your cow...They. Were. Worried. 
And Bruce knew. 
You told him, when your pregnancy was confirmed, to tell his friends. That they would be happy. But after his own initial happy thought, his surge of hope and love at knowing he was going to be a dad again, he started to make his plan. 
Why tell them, when you could toy with them ? 
“They deserve it.” He told you, and you weren’t sure if they did, but you weren’t about to fight him on that. After all, you too, thought it could be amusing. Amusing to hide your pregnancy, making up excuses as to why they couldn't come see you, and you didn’t come up the headquarter. Amusing, to even hide it quite expertly from any form of news (Bruce was a MASTER of disguise, not only for himself), so it would be a real surprise. 
Amusing, to have your little girl in secret, with only your family. Amusing, but also what you wanted. For this good news to be just between you, your children, and Alfred. Your close family. Because you had too few things that just were yours. 
This had to be yours. Your thing, your secret, your own happiness. Yours, and only yours. And you found it was good, that you guys spend the first few months of your daughter’s life only between yourselves. 
It was nice, to go out “disguised” as a normal couple, and show your daughter Gotham (and how her little eyes already tried to take the entire world within them). 
It was nice, to live in total privacy for a little bit. 
So, yes, you had been a little selfish. And he had, too. You knew it wasn’t just to prank his friends, he kept it all a secret. That it was also to have some quality time with his family. To spend the first few months of his daughter’s life being the only one being utterly smitten with her. 
Though, this last thing wasn't true...You were, too. And your children ? Let’s just say your daughter had not been alone ONCE since she was born. And she seemed to love it. 
Whenever she made the slightest sound, smiled, laughed (or cried), they were there, Bruce was there, absolutely loving that little baby. 
She was almost 4 months old now, and Bruce thought that the gist had to be up. What scale did he use to measure this amount of “readiness” ? You had no idea. You thought he was just now ready to share his happiness with his friends, and not just his close family. 
And so here you were, after months of secrecy carefully crafted and orchestrated by your husband, in the JLA’s headquarters, along with your family, the little new addition to said family in your husband’s arms. 
Evil. Your husband was downright evil. 
He knew that what was about to happen would have a massive impact on his friends. He. KNEW. 
And as the zeta tube brought all your family up there, you knew that as he saw their faces, your husband was a little TOO happy with himself for his little “prank”. 
************
“Batman, are you al- IS THAT A BABY ?” Very typical, very in character : the first to react was Flash himself. 
None of the other noticed, and they seemed inclined to think Barry had lost his mind but then...
Bruce’s face didn’t move an inch, he just held that little “package”, and had his same stoic expression except...Except there was a little hand grabbing at his chin. 
Then another hand appeared out of that bundle Batman carried, with a bat plushie bunched in a tight fist, shaking it and...Cooing. 
Cute little sounds, and the way- EXCUUUuuUuuuUSE ME ?
The way Batman just softly looked at her, the way his cold expression was replaced by a tender one as he lowered his eyes to her ??
WHAT ?! 
They knew. They knew he had THE softest spot for his family. They knew his scary aura greatly dimmed when he was around his wife and children. They knew that when they weren’t there, he was only made of shadows. They were his light, his salvation. 
They knew he didn’t have the same face expression, when they were around.
Well, when they were looking at him...Barry swore that Batman loomed around his family, standing menacingly behind them, his eyes cold and calculating as if he was ready to fight any seconds to save his loved ones, and then whenever they turned to him his feature would instantly soften. He will ALWAYS remember the first time he met little Dickie, 9 years old and so full of joy and life, and how whenever he would look at Batman and talk to him, said Batman got a softer expression somewhat, but then when Dick turned around, Batman looked about to murder them whenever they came too close from him. 
Once, Tim, also 9 at the time, years after the JLA met Dick, told Barry matter of factly : “He doesn’t kill people. He could break your knee caps though” in a very Tim fashion. The kid was serious. And had noticed the aura surrounding his dad, how it changed when he was around (he noticed more than his siblings, because for a while, Bruce had been really cold and distant with him, since he met him not long after Jason’s death..understandable. So he was the only one who had this sort of behavior aimed at him, the shield Bruce put in front of him to keep everyone away so he wouldn’t be hurt, the shield that now was lowered for them and only them). 
It was his eyes. His eyes that were always hard and cold, became different when looking at you or his children. 
Not to say that his family never exasperated him, or that he never had his “mask” around them. After all, Bruce’s stoic expression was his face by default. It’s just that he was often too focused. And that he spend years practicing hiding his emotions, practicing keeping a blank face. Because Barry also remembered seeing Dick perched on his father’s shoulders, letting himself dangle in his back, his head upside down, whistling and kicking his feet, and Bruce having this stoic mask on, concentrated. 
Anyway, they knew all that. It had been years, since Bruce finally trusted them enough to bring his wife here, and his kids. But yet, yet they were still surprised sometimes.
Like today. 
The picture of Batman holding a baby was...a little weird. 
Even if he opened up to them over the years, he was still mostly very cold, distant and aloof. You know, Batman. That’s just who he was. So sometimes, to see him so devoted to his wife or kids, it was odd to say the least. 
And right now, as he walked towards them with a baby in his arms, the shock was real. Damn it, will there be a day when the Bat didn’t surprise them with something ? 
How did none of them notice you were pregnant ? Proof again Batman was a master of his craft. And that little girl...
Oh your daughter was such a beaming ray of sunshine, that in his arms it was particularly a jarring image. 
The big scary bat, tall, broad shouldered, muscular in every way, his face void of expressions, holding a tiny baby who kept smiling at everyone around, and playing with her plushy. 
Odd. 
Yet, sweet. 
Were they surprised ? Yes. 
Were they a little mad he hid something (AGAIN) this important from them ? Definitely. 
Were they shocked that his daughter was so darn cute and smiling and laughing that much ? Not really, because you were his mom too. 
Were they happy for him ? For sure. 
Were they going to adore that little girl ? Probably as much as they adored his other kids already, which meant...yes. Yes they were going to. 
Damn that bastard Bruce. Always so sneaky. 
Hal, couldn’t help but think : “First, he’s not a vampire, then, he’s married with children, and now, he has that cute baby. This guy ??!!” 
***********
The initial shocked passed, and only after your children MOCKED all of your friends (you had to give it to Dick, he knew how to imitate them so well..and when Damian joined in ? Oh, oh it was a fit of laughter impossible to fight that attacked them), did they approach your daughter. 
“Her name is Martha.” Bruce said “We named her after my mother.” and it wasn’t his usual flat tone he used as Batman. No, it was a soft voice he usually only reserved for his kids. And the reason he was using it now ? Well. He didn’t want to scare his daughter, as he still held her. 
She beamed at him when she heard her name, and babbled some baby nonsense. She then turned towards all those new faces, and you saw Bruce’s hand hold her a little tighter. 
Your beautiful, sweet soul husband. He clearly was worried she’d be scared, meeting all those new people. Especially since they all wore mask. But Martha-
Martha let go of her bat plushy (which Damian caught before it touched the floor, rolling on the ground in a way you thought was quite comedic. Oh, that boy), and lifted her arms up towards- 
“What a sweet little girl !” Diana said with a voice you NEVER heard her use. You realized it was her “voice reserved for babies and domestic animals”, and it made you smile. It was higher than her usual voice, and full of softness. 
You thought your daughter reached for her because she could feel the warmness in your friend. And after all, amongst all of those gathered here today, she was probably the one that adored babies the most. 
Diana looked at Bruce, who only inclined his head a little to give her the ok to lift her from his arms but-
Another arm stopped her, and took the baby away. 
Damian. 
Damian, the one who took his role as a big brother a little too seriously. 
He held Martha protectively against him, and literally sneered at all your friends. 
************
Damian deemed most of them unworthy to hold his baby sister, and only Clark ended up being allowed to carry her. And that was partly because Clark was the only one who knew about Martha, the only one who saw her already, and he had months to convince your son to trust him with her. 
Being an extremely close friend and all, you just couldn’t hide this from him and... no, really, you literally couldn’t hide this from him as he was the immediately noticed that second heartbeat when he listened in to make sure you and your family were safe. Bruce hated when he did that, but Clark wasn’t about to let them be in danger without moving an inch.
Anyway, Clark was allowed to hold her, but he gave her back to you rather quickly because your son’s stare made him uncomfortable. If eyes could kill, right ? 
Damian took his job as an older brother very seriously. He would protect her at all cost. And you had no doubt that he would be the kind of person to burn the entire world down if it meant saving his family. 
Damian only glared at everyone, letting them approach ONLY after they put on a surgical mask so they wouldn’t give her their “viruses or whatever”. 
You had to admit he was a bit much, and you asked him nicely to calm down a little. He relented on the face masks, but made them all wash their hands (twice). 
You ruffled his hair affectionately, what a sweet little boy. It broke your heart, how so many people judged him too fast. He really was, a nice kid. With a heart of gold. He just didn’t have much luck for the first few years of his life. 
But he chose to be like this. Chose to love, instead of hate. Chose to protect, instead of attacking. 
Although, right now, as Diana came back towards his sister, he definitely seems ready to high kick her (which definitely wouldn’t have hurt the amazon). 
************
It was a hassle, to convince Damian to let go of his sister so they could hold her. As per usual, it’s Dick who managed to convince him, saying Martha was all soft and cute, and everyone deserved to hold her at least once. Adding that if one of them dropped her, he would be allowed to do whatever he wanted to them. 
Some of the mightiest heroes of the planet were gathered hear, but the threat didn’t fall on deaf ears. Damian could be a little intense, and scary sometimes. 
They weren’t fooled by Dick’s agreeable smile either. A smile that didn’t always reach his eyes. They knew if they messed up, he would find every way to rip them to shreds. Dick was often seen as the calmest of your children, but his anger issues from when he was a child were never far. And he could be ruthless.  
Diana held her first, and your daughter babbled to her excitedly. 
Of course, being only 4 months old, she just talked gibberish. And it was so sweet, how Diana answered her : “What ? *babbles from your daughter* Noooooo. *more babbles from your daughter* I can’t believe he said that. And then what ? *babbles babbles babbles*”. 
After that, Dick took her back, and asked if someone else wanted to hold her, under yours and Bruce’s watchful eyes. 
Then again, in the room, many were also already parents and knew how to hold a baby. They weren’t too worried, except-
Except Dick, that little sh-, had found a new game in recent weeks. Whenever he gave his little sister to someone else...he pretended to drop her. 
And it made him laugh and laugh and laugh, to give mini-heart attacks to EVERYONE whenever he gave them his baby sister to them, as they always all panicked and screamed seeing her dropped (Dick always had her secure, he only pretended to drop her of course). 
“Oh no careful !” He’d scream, dropping his arms suddenly (she looooved it) while still gripping her, and they’d scramble to catch her, and he would just laugh. 
“You little-” Hal’s colorful words were...imaginative. And Damian was inclined to agree, since his brother pranked him oh, I don’t know, only about A HUNDRED TIMES since their little sister was born. 
You wouldn’t admit it, but it made you laugh a little too. Even if he got you a few times as well, pretending he was going to drop her. Then again, you trusted your eldest son. Once you and Bruce wouldn’t be around anymore, you knew he would hold this family together. 
************
Martha was a calm baby. She let people hold her, curious enough to not fuss and watch them all intently. It made Barry uncomfortable, how she held his gaze and would just stare at him. 
She would stare, and stare, and stare, and her bright blue eyes were EXACTLY like Bruce’s, it felt like being stared down by a miniature version of Batman. 
He didn’t like it. So he gave her back to whomever was closest, which happened to be Jason
Jason, who was always very delicate with his little sister. He handled her as if he’d break her. It broke your heart, to know he probably literally thought that. 
He refused to hold her at first, sure he would hurt her. But she kept reaching for him, crying when he wouldn’t take her, and she was so adorable and-
He caved, of course. After a little while. And he was oh, the fixture of a patient older brother. You knew he would ALWAYS be part of her life, and step in whenever she needed to. 
Right now, she was grabbing his hair, which were getting quite long, and pulling hard on them as babies do and- He didn’t say anything. He just let her do it. 
You really hoped she wasn’t going to take advantage of this when she’d get older, even if you already had visions of her having her brothers and father wrapped around her little finger, having her sister too, and...apparently, the entirety of the JLA. 
************
“How can such an a-hole make such a cute baby ?” Hal said, looking at the little girl he held. She was sort of dozing off, which for sure was adorable. 
Bruce only glared at him, which amused Hal greatly. He just gave him the shock of his life, he could laugh at his expense a little, right ? 
“I believe, to make a baby, you need to-”
“Um, no, Jon, please, I know how to ! It’s just-Oh, forget it.” 
Flustered, Hal Jordan was flustered. Jon J’onzz didn’t seem to get why, but then again, human sarcasms and irony were still very foreign to him. He always answered pragmatically to people. 
Talking about pragmatism. Hal handed back your daughter to Tim, who slipped her in his favorite new contraption : the baby carrier 3.0 (of his own design). Made so he could do all sort of work while having her strapped to him. Keeping an eye on her at all time. 
Tim adopted the use of a baby carrier, so he could still work while taking care of her (he stole the idea from his dad, who definitely hung around with his daughter EVERYWHERE with that thing...which was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen, this tall broad man and this tiny baby attached to his chest). 
It was so cute to see her little feet dangling while he was working. Damian nearly lost it when he found Tim WELDING two pieces of metal together with the baby carrier on his front. Tim merely said : “I made her baby sized goggles and a fireproof pyjama, she’s fine, and she likes it” and indeed, your daughter didn’t have a scratch, and cried when Damian hauled her away from the sparks. Ooooh the smug look on Tim’s face as his brother gave her back reluctantly. Damian’s was utterly vexed. 
Vexation he forgot just a few minutes later, when Martha decided she had enough of sparkles and made little sounds of protest (not quite cries), and reached her little arms to him. 
As of now, Tim had her in this baby carrier again, and was strolling around the JLA headquarters, showing his new little sister to everyone. 
************
Cassandra didn’t say a word, as per usual. She never liked big crowds, only spoke to those she trusted the most. Her brothers, her parents. 
She only gestured to others. Remained quiet. But she monitored every little movements. 
Hawkgirl approached her sister ? Noted. Carefully studying every move. Martian Manhunter asked if he could hold her ? Noted. 
Superman made little babbling sound at her, while her dad held her ? Noted, with amusement. It was funny, to see one of Earth’s mightiest hero grimacing to a baby to make it laugh, while said baby was held by another mighty hero who was utterly stoned face. Cass’ smiled at her dad, who smiled back for a fraction of seconds before Clark shifted his head up to look at him too, and Bruce went back to his : “ -_-” face, by reflex really. 
Cassandra never spoke much, but she loved a lot. And her way of loving her little sister ? It was to always keep a watchful eye on her, so she could react to whatever she needed. And give her space when she needed to. 
She had many brothers, she often joked that if she lost one, she could just replace him (a joke you didn’t like much, because you knew it was just a self-defense from her, to shield her heartbreak at the mere idea of loosing a sibling), but only had one sister...
Yes. Your youngest child definitely held a special place in everyone’s heart. 
And you could see her slowly creep in every members’ of the Justice League’s heart too. 
Gods, you couldn’t even imagine what would happen to the person who would one day try to hurt her. You could bet, though, he wouldn’t get out of it unscathed (to say the least). 
************
Martha was particularly fond of Duke’s inuit kiss. He had the capacity to instantly calm her, and he could easily feel her inner emotions. 
As she was passed around everyone, and she started to be tired and cranky, he simply retrieved her and brought her to Bruce, because he knew that was her preferred spot to fall asleep. 
He kissed her on the forehead, and sure enough, she was asleep before he could pull away. Your husband put a warm hand on Duke’s head, a warm smile on his face. That boy could always tell what others felt. It was a gift, really, and sometimes a curse as others’ feelings could leak into him. Which is to say that sometimes, when others were sad, he would be too...
But for now, he felt content. At peace. Because his dad was, too. 
And indeed, Bruce, holding his sleeping daughter against his heart, his hand supporting her head gently, was utterly at peace. 
He loved the idea that his arms were his daughter’s favorite place to sleep, and never refused to hold her to help her sleep. You sure were a little jealous, but he told you : “They all always come to you when they need comfort, one kid out of six, you surely can give me, right ?” and though you knew he was joking, it broke your heart a little. 
So, you let go of your jealousy, and let him have this indeed. Martha was definitely a daddy’s girl. And that was good. You could see the impact on your husband, how having a baby in the house soothed him. 
He loved his kids so damn much. He often said they were his lights. And the fact Martha found comfort with him ? 
It reminded him of his own parents. How he would go to his mom, a Martha too, to find the same comfort. To fall asleep in the same way. 
You let go of that small jealousy, as you saw her falling soundly asleep, cuddled up against her dad. And it was funny, how Bruce would take his usual Batman persona, stone faced, standing straight and- 
Having one of two fingers held tightly by both of his daughter’s little hands. She grabbed them as he took her, one hand holding her (she was so tiny...and he was a big dude), the other, she used as a sort of comfort plushy. She held them with all her might, as she slept. 
And Bruce was speaking battle plans, and you had to fight the laughter in you as all your friends couldn’t help but stare at the scene, not knowing how to feel. 
Hal snickered at one point, and he made a gesture for him to zip it, and it was quite an odd scene, as he held his daughter and did that childish gesture. 
Seriously. That guy !! 
************
Batman smiling was...different. 
They all got caught staring at him, when he had his daughter in his arms. Staring because his broad smile was-
Well. Broad. 
It wasn’t his signature smirk. It wasn’t a soft smile. It wasn’t a half-smile. It wasn’t a smile that you could only see in his eyes. 
It was a full on big ass smile (as Barry would say). 
And sure, they already saw him smile like that (although he schooled his face back to “stone mode” when he noticed them looking), never that much. 
As if the birth of his daughter gave Batman another new light, and it was just impossible to yield to his old demon, to brood, when holding that ray of sunshine. 
It made them all feel...soft. And warm. 
It was nice, to know the bat wasn’t just a machine. They forgot it sometimes, that he was, in the end, “just” a man. They forgot why he became Batman. The pain and guilt he held inside. But moments like this, they were reminded of it. 
That the Batman didn’t exist because of hatred, but because of love. 
Because he loved his parents, his city, and now- 
His family. 
It was nice, to get reminded that there was a man below the mask. And though he could be an “a-hole” sometimes, there, holding his baby, he was just that. 
A loving man, who wanted to protect others. 
************
You made a note of every moments you would cherish forever of you introducing your daughters to them all : 
1. The shock on their faces as they beheld the sight of THE BATMAN holding a baby against him, and being so delicate. 
2. Your daughter being the star of the show, all of them smitten with her !
3. Your friends wanting to hold her, and how they beamed at her (and she beamed back, except with Barry, whom she only stared at for some reasons). 
4. Dick’s “game” of pretending he dropped her, and their panicked reaction. 
5. The success of Tim’s baby carrier, and how now, there was always one up in the tower. 
6. Diana and how it definitely seemed like she would move mountain for that child. 
7. How Clark’s eyes filled with tears again, as he looked at Martha. Because it made his friends so happy. You and Bruce. And especially Bruce. And Clark was an emotional man, who suffered too, and was just so happy “The Batman” was happy. 
8. How Jason seemed at peace with his little sister, and how whenever he held her, he seemed less weary than usual around everyone. Like Cass, he didn’t like much being amongst too many people. But now, it felt like he had an “emotional support baby”. Ah. 
9. Their reactions, past the shock, welcoming that new life in the world. 
10. How Bruce monitored his daughter being held by his friends, holding your hand. Even after all those years, when he acted close to you in his Batman costume, it made you...feel things. He always kept a facade as Batman. A facade that would crumble with his kids, and especially with you. PDA weren’t rare. And even after years at his side, it always made your heart beat wildly when he showed affection towards you in public, because it meant- 
Oh it meant so much. 
And you had so many more moments forever ingrained in your heart from that day spend up at the JLA’s headquarters. 
Too many to count. Some sweet, some hilarious- 
All positive feelings. 
And as you and your family stepped back in the zeta tubes, your friends saying “byyyyye” to Martha especially, with their baby voice (making Bruce roll his eyes), and as she waved at them- 
Waved for the FIRST TIME ever oh. 
Oh it felt like you would die of happiness. 
And still, Bruce’s hands held yours tightly. 
He knew. 
He knew, you were the source of this happiness he thought he could never find again. 
He knew. 
He never loved like that before. 
Yes. It felt like you could just die of happiness.
__________________________________________________
And here we are. I hope you enjoyed this. Don’t hesitate to comment and/or reblog, it’s always greatly appreciated :). 
Also, initially, the child was going to be Thomas (their son in my “main” storyline, if you already read a few works from me), but last minute, I was like : “wait no, I want to give Bruce a daughter, and the boys a sister. Also, poor Cass eh ?” and here we are. I really hope you liked this; I’m nervous for some reasons. Anyway. See you soon with another one ? 
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incorrectbatfam · 2 months ago
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How do the kids give Bruce psychic damage?
Damian: Father, can I drive the Batmobile?
Bruce: No.
Damian: *draws him as a Minion*
———————
Steph: Now that I'm eighteen, I need to register to vote. Can you help me?
Bruce: Of course.
Bruce: *pulls up the website*
Bruce: Date of birth?
Steph: August 11th, 2006.
———————
Tim: Can I sneak into the League of Assassins? I want my spleen back.
Bruce: Absolutely not, and that's final.
Tim: *goes to the Batcomputer*
Tim: *types in www.archiveofourown.org*
Tim: *searches Bruce Wayne/Hal Jordan*
Tim: *picks an E-rated fic*
Tim: *enables text-to-speech*
Tim: *leaves*
———————
Bruce: Barbara, can you help Alfred with the seating arrangement for the gala?
Barbara: Yeah, just send me the guest list.
[at the gala]
Bruce: *sits down*
Oliver: *sits down next to him*
———————
Bruce: I'll cut the perp off with the Batmobile. Hood, since your bike's out of commission, you'll need to commandeer another vehicle.
Jason: Roger that.
[later]
Jason, over the comms: Perp is secured.
Bruce: Good. Bring him in.
Jason: *pulls up in the Jokermobile*
———————
Harper: I'm taking a history class to fulfill my general ed requirements. Can I interview you for an assignment?
Bruce: Sure, what's it on?
Harper: The 2008 recession.
———————
Dick and Bruce: *fighting*
Bruce: That's it, you're benched.
Dick: Newsflash, orphan boy: you can't do that. I'm twenty-seven years old, which means I'm at the prime you wish you were. You're nothing more than a mummified raisin withering away in your dark, dusty corner waiting for the day one of us puts you in the retirement home, leaving you to slowly die alone as you wonder why your kids don't call. And when you finally kick the bucket, the first thing your parents will do when they see you is point you to the revolving door of reincarnation so they no longer have to bear the shame of giving you life.
———————
[at a gala]
Bruce: This is my daughter.
Cass: Hi my name is Cassandra Wu-San Dementia Raven Wayne.
———————
Bruce, holding a box: Guess what I found in the attic? My flip phone, VHS tapes, and Nintendo 64 from college.
Duke: Cool, I didn't know you were into the Y2K aesthetic.
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yupaendo · 3 months ago
Text
I love the idea of Bruce Wayne keeping his children secret like on those fanfics where nobody knows Tony Stark has another child other than Morgan???
I have already talked about this, but is like the whole fostering and adopting his children was super top secret and all the cps that knew about them were like super well paid. So the only ones that are publicly know (since the assosiation with batman in their public personas could be lesser AND they either wanted to be public or didn't have another choice) are Tim and Damian.
(All the other children of Bruce are still his children, but Dick didn't want people to know about him due to MANY things, Jason was super scared, Cass hated the idea of everyone knowing her before she was ready. All of them were more complex but wth).
Tim's parents were very publicly dead. He was also bery publicly Bruce's intern/heir and somewhat board member?? Bruce adopted him that very moment, and everyone tought "well, that's fine, it was prob. a financial move" but still was like "better not???" So they had to say that he took care of Tim when his parents were out of the country (which kinda true but kinda not...) and even showed photos of 14yr old Tim in the manor (he is 16-17 in this moment)
AND THEN, came Damian. He was insisten in being shown, since he was the blood child and kinda weird and insecure so Bruce gave him the pleasure and ALL of Gotham was like omg your actions are catching up on you and Bruce, to prevend Damian from being bullied and called a bastard son (which is only important if you are rich and famous and as man eater and womanizer as brucie) had to say that, in fact, he was married when damian was concived.
(This was, ofc, a whole other drama. Bcuz he was never, ever publiclly married, yet there is paperwork and blurred photos, etc. And Bruce still keeps the rings (talia left hers too) so...)
Anyways, so then lets say a couple of years have passed. Both of Bruce's children are grown up and Tim is fully into the W.E. bussiness + whatever else he wants to do, same with damian. And then one day the three of them are talking in front of some w.e. emplyees or at a gala or sum and Bruce, acting like a father (which he only does when his children are right in frontal of him) is all like "can any of you call your brother X/sister and tell them..." and everyone is like 😧😧😧😧😧
And then people say he has like a little child now, that this, that, etc. And it's really like... olympic golden metal winner Dick grayson (or professor from blud d.g., or policeman from blud d.g., or firefighter d.g., or detective d.g.,) or super ballerina cassandra w. (which, ok, Wayne is not THAT common) or some random man from the low sides of gotham that is either a) a mob boss or 2) a teacher or some letters major
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batsythoughts · 7 months ago
Text
As the next installment, here is Yandere! Bruce Wayne with baby trapping!
Warnings: Possessive tendencies, manipulative behavior and actions, dubious consent, forced pregnancy (obviously)
Smut under the cut. Minors please do not interact with this post.
Your whole relationship with Bruce had started out completely innocent without him even being aware of how possessive he would become
You both met through a mutual associate and had gotten along fairly well so he asked you out for a date
The two of you went on 5 dates before Bruce finally expressed the idea of being official to one another
Bruce truly did enjoy being with you. You never had expectations on how he needed to act or treat you. You just let him be Bruce without complaint
He even felt comfortable enough to admit his identity as Batman after a few months of being with you
He half expected you to freak out, but you didn't. To his surprise, you mostly made a joke of it.
"Oh my god, no way! Super tall and extremely jacked billionaire with an army of adopted children Bruce Wayne is the Batman!? You two don't even look alike!"
He swears he had fallen in love a little more just by the sarcasm alone
A year into the relationship, your apartment building had to ask everyone to temporarily move out due to a mold problem in the basement while they got it cleaned out
Bruce offered to let you stay at the manor while it got worked out
Now, he wasn't worried about how long you might need to stay there. He was just concerned about how the kids would react to you staying there for so long.
Dick was super friendly and Jason didn't have a huge care for who Bruce was dating. And Tim was always busy with some random project that he was working on.
However, Damian might not like the fact that he was bringing someone into the manor who had the knowledge of their second life. He could barely remain civil on the nights you came over for dinner
And Cassandra had only been taken in a couple of weeks ago and hadn't been able to meet you yet. He was worried of how she might react to the new presence in the manor for an unknown amount of time so suddenly.
He sat all the kids down that morning to let them know of the situation before you showed up that night without any of them knowing why
As he expected, Cass was skeptical about the whole situation but Dick and Jason assured her she would like you
Damian flat out admitted to hating the whole thing before storming out of the room to get ready for school
When you finally got done with work, you came over with a small suitcase full of most of your clothes and a bag with the other important things you need
Bruce eagerly welcomed you in while taking the bag from you. Kissing you softly before guiding you towards his room to put your stuff away
He helped you find a place for all your stuff in his private spaces
He smirked as you got to setting your medicine up on the sink counter. His hands holding up the pack that held your morning after pills as he raised a brow
You innocently shrugged while saying neither of you liked to wear condoms all the time. Besides, you had to find a way to thank him for his generosity after all
He set the packet down before kissing you again with a little more intensity
He pulls away went you lightly swat his chest while telling him he can have his fun later, but you wanted to meet Cassandra
He chuckled while nodding his head as he lead you to her room
He gently knocked on the door and called out to Cass as you stood beside him with a calm smile
Cass opened the door while looking between Bruce and you with a curious look in her eyes
You continue smiling while holding a hand out while introducing yourself to her. Calmly asking about her and saying she can feel free to talk to you about anything if she wanted to
Cass cautiously shakes your hand while glancing between you and Bruce before saying she had a few things to do in her room before dinner
Bruce softly reassured you to give her some time after the door closed on you
Bruce guided you away from the door to give you an in depth tour of the manor for you to be comfortable navigating for the next few weeks you would be there
It doesn't take long for it to be time for dinner as everyone gathers around the table to eat
The silence that loomed over the table was almost suffocating each time conversation went around to Damian or Cass
Bruce repeatedly encouraged them to speak to you about anything, but Cass always shrunk into herself while Damian glared at his father for the suggestion
Dinner ended quite awkwardly as the three oldest boys found excuses to leave the table fairly quickly after finishing their plates
Damian simply left the table without a word, leaving you, Bruce, and Cass
You look at Bruce with a small frown as he gives you a small nod for encouragement while tilting his head towards Cass
Looking back over to her, you comment on how you would be going shopping in a few days for a couple of things and asked if she would want to come along to spend some time together
She looked up in surprise before giving a small nod while saying she would like to try if she was feeling it that morning
That night as he was about to get ready for patrol, he watched you get ready for bed with guarded excitement for the promised outing
Bruce smiled while walking over to place a soft kiss to your temple while saying they would all be back before dawn
You smile back while kissing his cheek and saying that you wanted them to come back with all their bones intact, which he assured would happen as he told you to sleep well
The next few days all went very similar to the first night with Damian still acting hostile and Cass still uncertain of your presence
The weekend morning you were going to be shopping, Cass had said she was willing to go out for a couple hours with you that day
Bruce gave you one of his cards as you got ready for the day while asking you to make sure Cass got a few things that she liked while you were looking today
You hesitantly take the card while saying you would before giving him a kiss goodbye and leaving for the shopping center
Everything is quiet in the manor for a few hours as the boys simply lounged around for that morning as they surprisingly didn't have anything that needed to be done that day
Around noon, Bruce got a text saying you both were caught up at the mall and would be home when everything settled down and grabbed a small meal
He felt concerned at first but quickly brushed the fears aside
You would have told him if something bad happened and you needed his help with anything
About two more hours pass before you and Cass finally make it back with a handful of shopping bags each
The boys all watch from a distance as you give her a small kiss on the cheek before she goes up to put her items away with a smile
Bruce, intrigued by the sudden change, got up to greet you while asking how everything went as you begin to hand him back his credit card
You shrug while saying it wasn't anything too important. Just a small misunderstanding with another customer who tried interacting with Cass when she didn't want the attention
Bruce's jaw clenched as he began to stand up, but you assured him that it was handled and the guy wouldn't be trying anything like that again anytime soon
Bruce reluctantly accepts the explanation as you quickly peck his cheek before letting you go put you own purchases up
"And on a completely unrelated note, I had to buy a new thing of pepper spray because I apparently emptied mine recently."
From that day on, Cass had taken a strong liking to you and would open up to you if she ever needed to talk
Bruce felt relieved that you managed to get her to feel comfortable, but he was still worried about Damian
The day he changed his mind came a couple weeks later when he was at school one day
You and Bruce had the day off, so of course you were both trying to spend it in his bedroom
'Trying' being the key word in that statement
Just as Bruce was slipping a hand under your shirt, his phone began to ring
You both groan slightly as he pulled away to see who was bothering him during the day
His attitude immediately changed as he saw Damian's principal calling him
He answered the phone with concern as he was told that Damian had gotten into a fight with a few boys that were a few grades above him
Bruce began to get himself presentable as he asked to speak to Damian as he watched you get ready as well while looking confused
He explained the situation as you furrowed your brows as you told him to put it on speaker to talk with Damian as well
When Damian's voice came from over the phone, Bruce couldn't get a word in before you spoke to the boy
"Speak in a simple yes or no. Did you win and did they swing first?"
The line goes silent for a moment before Damian let out a strained, "Yes."
"Are those kids somewhat racist towards you regularly?"
"...somewhat."
You give a look to Bruce as you begin to put yourself together as he tells Damian you will both be there shortly
The drive is quick as you and Bruce are taken to the waiting area where the other parents are already talking to one another
You and Bruce both go unnoticed at first as they comment about Damian being 'unstable' around the other children due to the environment he was brought up in
Bruce cleared his throat to get the attention of the other parents before they could say anything else
The principal ushered the parents into the office where all the boys sat in front of the desk as their parents stood behind them
Each of them had a bruise of some kind on their face or body, even Damian had a black eye and a busted lip
The principal walks in while telling everyone to calm down before explaining how the older boys had snuck up on Damian when he went to his locker at some point
Everyone listens as the principal begins to explain the 'no tolerance' policy the school has and that all the boys will need to be temporarily suspended while an investigation occurs. Including Damian
"I beg your pardon?" "The fuck he will!"
Bruce and you both go off on the principal at the suggestion that Damian would be punished for the fact he defended himself
You even put a hand on Damian's head while saying that 'your little boy' would never hurt anyone without a reason
Bruce maintained his surprise by the statement you said, focusing on making sure his son didn't get punished
Damian could see the angle you were playing as he looked up to you with big eyes as he leaned towards you
"I just trying to get a book out of my locker when they attacked me. I was just protecting myself, ummi, I swear."
Bruce bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling and giving away the two of you in your act. How you both could understand the act without any form of prepared plan was astounding to him
You stare down the principal with a frown as you raise an eyebrow
"You have cameras in the hallway. Check them and see that he simply defended himself from those boys. Damian will be back to school tomorrow to keep getting his education. Habibi, we're going home."
The three of you quickly leave the office and head to the car
Once inside and driving back to the manor, Bruce looked over at you with a quirked brow. You just looked at him with a smile
"You dating someone who was once a theater kid. We're all crazy on some degree."
Since that day, Damian had seen you in a different light and began to get along with you to a degree
Which Bruce found to be relieving as you had gotten a call saying that your apartment building was being condemned because the mold had apparently been in the walls of all the floors
He had made sure to help you get all the remaining belongings you had there out so you wouldn't have to worry about losing anything when they destroyed the building
He was a little happy about it because you would be around more with him and spending time with all the kids more often
Bruce thought everything was going great and that you were happy staying with them so you wouldn't have to move back out to just live with them again later on
He had thought you had felt the same way about the living situation
That was until he came back from patrol one night to see you passed out with your phone screen left open on a site with different apartment listings
He was confused when he saw that you had multiple tabs on your phone with similar information on each of them
Bruce quickly turns your phone off on the page you had been on as he lays down in bed with you as his mind raced
Why would you be looking at apartments? The kids all enjoyed having you around now and you got to see them everyday. Why would you want to leave them all?
The time passed quickly as the sun finally began to rise and your alarm went off
You turned it off before rolling over to smile at Bruce with a soft groan. Moving to his side to give him a loving kiss
Bruce returned with as he held you closer with his own smile
He carefully asked if you knew that you were welcome to stay with them all for however long that you needed
You smiled while saying that you knew before giving him another kiss while getting up to prepare yourself for work
He smiled as he watched you get ready before his mind began to wander again
Doubts crept into his thoughts as he got to work himself while trying to figure out some paperwork his attorneys were worried for some reason or another, he couldn't seem to recall what about
When the day was almost over, he was barely focused when his assistant came in with some personal business to talk about
Bruce forced himself to pay attention as he was told about how their family would be expecting a baby soon and they all would want some time off for every member to get to bond together with the new addition
Bruce couldn't help but smile at the news along with them while saying that he would be happy to give them the time as long as a temporary placeholder was found for their job
He still smiled as his assistant left as the fears and doubts quickly disappeared as he began to think
A baby? Babies normally do bring families together. And it takes a lot of work to take care of one alone. But with enough people to support and help out, it might not be as bad. And it would be redundant to live separately with the both of you having a baby together.
When he got home that night, he felt slightly relieved when he saw a new box of your personal hygiene products in his bathroom
Now he had a time frame that he could try to work on his idea to keep you around
About a week later after everyone finished up with dinner, Bruce gently guided you upstairs to his room
He locked the door behind you before guiding you towards the bed
You smile while pulling him in by the collar of his shirt
Bruce smiles while he begins to kiss you, one hand holding the back of your neck as the other moves underneath your shirt
You both begin undressing one another slowly as hands gently explore the skin that becomes exposed
Bruce trailed his lips down to press along your throat before going across your collarbone
He smiled at every small noise that sounded next to his ear with every touch he made on your skin
He pulled away to guide you to lay down on the bed as he ran a hand down your body while getting on top of you
He settled most of his upper body weight into his arms as he began to kiss you again
Just as he was about to get situated above you, Bruce felt you lightly push against his shoulder as you lift off the bed
Bruce smiled as he let you move him to his back so you could straddle his hips with a bashful grin
Oh, how Bruce loved it when you wanted to ride him
He intertwined one hand with yours as you leaned down to lovingly kiss him while grinding into him
He stared as you straightened back up so you could position him at your entrance
He squeezed your hand as you slowly sank down on him with a sigh
You placed your free hand on his abdomen while slowly rolling your hips against his
Bruce's head rolled back into the pillow when you raised up a few inches to sink back down
His hand slide down to grasp at the spot on your thigh just below your ass before squeezing the muscles under his palm
He smiled up at you while watching you gently fuck yourself onto his cock
Occasionally, Bruce would move his hand to make you roll into his hips again when you sunk back down
The two of you stared into each other's eyes before you slowly moved to lay down on his chest
Bruce wrapped his arm around your waist to help you push back onto him as the two of you began kissing once again
His ego swelled at the small whimpers you let out against his mouth as the both of you got closer to the edge
He felt you tightly grasp his hand as you began to shake on top of him as you came with a small cry
It took Bruce a few more moments before he finally stilled his own movement, continuously placing soft kisses to your lips and face as you calm down
It normally didn't last that long when you rode him, but Bruce couldn't help how intimate it always got between you both
He waited as you finally relaxed before lifting you off his lap with a groan
Helping you to your feet, Bruce lead you to the bathroom before turning on the shower for the both of you
He held you close as the water flowed over the both of you, helping scrub the body wash over your skin while massaging the muscles that were still tense
He even let you return the favor when you offered to wash his hair
He couldn't help the urge he got when he watched you worry about tending to his needs than the thought of you doing that for your future children
Bruce leaned in to passionately kiss you while pressing you into the shower wall
He used his hand to hold your head in place as he positions himself at your entrance again
He gently pushed in with a small groan as he begins rolling his hips against yours
Bruce remain soft with each movement as you lightly claw at the skin of his back
He stopped kissing you for a moment as he rested his forehead against yours as you both got a moment to catch your breath
"I love you. Love having you here with me. Like you were meant to be with me in all this."
Bruce groaned as he felt you clench around him as he spoke to you, the sensation sending a shiver down his spice
He trailed a hand down to lightly circle his fingers over your clit as he felt himself get closer to release once again
He gave a small grunt as he still his hips against yours as he helped you to your second orgasm
He continued holding you up while running his hands along your body to help you come down once again
Bruce grinned while beginning to wash the new mess he made before finally turning off the water for the shower
He helped get you into one of the shirts you wear to sleep before guiding you back to the bed
You lean into the cover while telling him to be careful out there
Bruce grinned while leaning down to kiss your forehead before he had to get ready for patrol
"Don't worry. I'll do everything in my power to see you waiting for me every morning."
When he got back from patrol, he was extra cautious not to wake you when he entered the room
After getting changed, Bruce went to your phone before unlocking it to turn off your alarms for that day
He carefully climbed into bed and pulling you to him before drifting into a light sleep
He made sure to not move around too much when he heard the rest of the family beginning to move about for their day
Bruce only began to stir when he felt like it was long enough past the time your alarm would go off for you to worry about getting ready for work
He gently shook you while saying you had slept through the alarm and needed to get up and soon
You groan while reaching for your phone to see the time before jumping up from the bed
He sat up as you quickly changed clothes before trying to head to the bathroom
Bruce quickly said that Alfred would make you eat something before leaving, so you should do that before brushing your teeth
You quickly agree before rushing out of the bedroom door to go and eat something
Bruce got up from the bed and headed to the bathroom to grab your vitamins and medicines that you would need to take
He waited until you rushed back in with a cup of water
You took it all from his hand to take before brushing your teeth
He waited as you gave him a small kiss goodbye before leaving for work before you would be late
Bruce waited until he heard the front door closed before picking up the pack with your morning after pill
Taking one out of the packet, Bruce let out a small sigh before tossing the pill in the toilet before flushing it down the drain
Throughout the day, Bruce felt slightly guilty about not being honest when giving your medicine when you slept in that morning
He was thinking about saying that he forgot about it when you came back that night, but stopped when you came walking through the door and immediately greeted the kids first before going to talk to Bruce
Oh, how he knew you were going to make a great mom with how amazing you treated the rest of the family
All doubts disappeared from his mind as he welcomed you home from work
The next few weeks, Bruce made sure to keep an eye out on behavior or physical changes that could be signs you did get pregnant
He noticed how you would occasionally get sick in the morning after he got back to the manor
You assured him it was probably a stomach bug that some of your coworkers had that was spreading around
He definitely had his suspicions though when you would get random little cravings at night or in early hours of the day
You said french toast was a perfectly reasonable food to eat at 7:30 in the evening
The week you didn't get your period on time, he began to get hopeful
One day, watched you come in with a grocery bag and a nervous look on your face
He immediately suggested that you both go to his room to talk before you nodded along
After locking the door, Bruce asked what was on your mind
You avoid eye contact while pulling a digital pregnancy test out of the bag for him to see
He looked at it for a moment before saying that it was alright and he would wait for the results to come through
You quickly went to the bathroom before going to sit on the bed with Bruce holding you to his chest as the results processed
Nothing was said when the time was finally up and you brought the test closer to read the results on the small window
'Pregnant'
Bruce holds you closer while asking what you wanted to do with the whole thing
You go quiet for a moment before saying that you didn't have the heart to just get rid of it
Bruce smiled while moving a hand to rest under your shirt before he said he understood and began a discussion on the options you would need to think about
While you only agreed to a few of the things Bruce specifically wanted you to do, he knew he still had some time to get you to see his ways and agree
You both did agree to do a small announcement for the whole family in the next few days to not hide the news and get discovered by one of the many vigilantes in the house
Bruce did push to have Alfred get you new vitamins and a few books to look over before then so then you could have a head start on the whole journey
As he laid you down to sleep that night, Bruce couldn't help the smirk on his face as he thought of what your future would entail
There was no way you would think of moving out now. He knew you wouldn't break the family up like that with the new child for everyone to fawn over that they would want around at all times
Oh, how perfect you truly were for this family with Bruce by your side
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robintherobiner · 5 months ago
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What would the Wayne Family and the Bat Family post tiktok
Bruce: videos of him buying new outfits with the material girl sound over it because, according to one post, 'his kids said it was funny and he liked seeing them smile'. on his official account though (the wayne enterprises one) his 'social media manager' posts clips from interviews and soundbites.
Batman: does not have a tiktok.
Dick: posts videos of him either doing gymnastics or of him hanging out with his siblings. Most of the time he is throwing up a peace sign and then Tim and Damian are wrestling in the background and he captions it something along the lines of 'brothers drawing blood in Blud!'
Nightwing: posts videos of short self defense tips/poses, regularly collabs with Red Hood. (not that Jason knows this, Dick just sets up a camera and then goes and bothers his brother until he tries to punch him so he can teach people to block)
Barbara: Posts videos talking about accessibility (both whats available and what should be put in place). if one of the wayne's annoy her, she also will post a compilation of them doing something silly like tripping over thin air or being caught using a hairbrush as a microphone)
Oracle: posts clips of people doing non violent crimes (faces blurred out ofc) with the caption "the eye in the sky sees you, dumbass." because why would you try ack a car on a street with three non-hidden cameras
Jason: doesn't post. anymore. does have an account from when he was a teenager where it's just him doing sped up acting videos to sounds. he has tried to log in to take it down but Bruce changed the password. Brucie regularly comments on different videos like "my baby was such a star... rip sweetie 🕊️🕊️🕊️" and its Jason lip-syncing to fucking Justin Bieber or something
Red Hood: posts videos shitting on Batman. the comments were full of people saying "daddy issues" or "i wanna be a dealer just so you can shoot me babygirl" so he turned them off. sometimes someone (tim) turns them back on and Jason gets bombarded with "BRO IS SERVING CUNT"
Cassandra: posts videos of her doing ballet, or of her showing off her strength. Not on purpose though, she thinks its fun to post videos of her teasing her brothers and the comments are like "WHY DID SHE JUST PICK UP DICK GRAYSON WITHOUT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT WHAT"
Orphan: has a shared account with Batgirl, but she doesn't post on it, just sort of stands in the background as Steph makes funny videos.
Stephanie: enjoys posting videos pretending to be dating both Tim and Cass because she thinks its funny when the internet call her a gold digger and cheater. Bernard (after going public with Tim) occasionally fuels the fire by commenting "lmao get ur bag girl" under a video of her dragging Tim to a resturant
Batgirl: posts videos of her making fun of rogues, and on her shared account with Cass, just joins in on trends but obviously mixing it to fit her (aka: "when Batman lectures you for breaking a criminals leg but your literally just a teenage girl")
Timothy: like Bruce, he has two accounts. One is professional, with him promoting Wayne Enterprises products or whatever. Second one is full of him doing wild shit like skateboarding down the manor stairs or him trying to confuse Bruce with cringey slang. his most popular video though, is of him using the Nepo Baby sound by Fox SZN
Red Robin: posts slideshows of pictures of Gotham. All very aesthetic ones, of good architecture and people laughing together and shit. His bio is "showing you guy why I do what I do." His account is very artsy fartsy but he also was the first batfamily member to get verified
Duke: doesn't post, just likes videos.
Signal: posts videos of him trying to scare the other vigilantes, cuz, yknow, he can go invisible. tell me you wouldn't do that either if you could be invisible. exactly, you can't. He also makes videos about how hard it is to be a teen vigilante.
Damian: videos of his pets doing tricks. also regularly stitches Tim's videos and just deadass insults him. Tim always comments on his stitches with just a singular emoji because he found out it pisses Damian off more when he doesn't have a big reaction
Robin: posts about resources for gothamites. also has a shared account with Superboy (Jon) where they try and sneak up on both Superman and Batman. They have yet to succeed on either one.
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blackbirdsblackberries · 3 months ago
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Yan batfam X reader in a cult!
Okay, this one was one I had thought of a bit ago and dwelled on it.
Reader is apart of a cult called "Daughters of Eve" which is a cult of SA survivors who look to a deity to enact revenge on their abusers. (I will be using my experience with SA for a big chunk of it because it is rather touchy to talk about).
Reader was found by one of the heads when they were a child and were taken in. They were indoctrinated and were essentially raised to be grateful towards outsiders and to not trust anyone against the cult or aren't a part of the cult.
Batman decides to look into the cult as they've moved bases to somewhere in Gotham and are therefore his business now. He ends up finding the base but it was too risky for just him and Damian to go alone and without a proper fleshed out plan.
They call in Steph and Cass to pose as civilians seeking to join the cult - both obviously agree.
When they finally enter the cult they share a room with reader and another girl (the other girl isn't important to the plot per se). Reader is closed off and when Steph tries to engage in physical contact reader rejects it. Despite it reader treats them better than others treat the two.
They cling to reader and report back to the batfam, who have all gotten involved at this point, updates and such. Soon Steph gets attached and falls down into a spiral of madness and brings Cass down.
The Batfam who are getting reports detailing Reader decide to find as much info as possible - which is close to none. The small parts they find lead them to Reader's home from before they were taken in by DoE.
They find videos of tiny reader, diary entries from the mother/father, toys, Reader's bedroom, etc.
Though they don't go full yandere yet.
They finally bust DoE and arrest everyone involved and they properly meet Reader. Bruce takes reader in and slowly the rest of the family will start their decent into being a yandere.
Characters included in this story:
Stephanie Brown
Cassandra Cain
Bruce Wayne
Alfred Pennyworth
Damian al Ghul-Wayne
Tim Drake
Jason Todd
Dick Grayson
(minor Talia al Ghul, Selina and Superfam)
*Duke and Barbara won't be included until I know the way they'd be a yandere and how it can tie in with the rest of the family, sorry!
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miryum · 4 months ago
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"Pilot"
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Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy's relationship
Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff
Series Masterlist
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Richard Grayson was surveying his detectives, assessing whether or not they were ready.
Cassandra Cain was glaring at her computer, angrily typing away. Dick had to get someone to fix her computer a week ago and he really didn’t want a repeat. But, seeing as she had yet to punch a hole through the screen, Dick was satisfied. Status: Ready.
Stephanie Brown was in the kitchen, humming to herself as she lathered peanut butter onto some bread. Dick couldn’t see the beginning of a toaster fire, so he moved onto his next detective. Status: Ready.
Timothy Drake’s eyes never left his computer as he chugged his fourth cup of coffee. Dick made a mental note to cut him off. Luckily, Tim had gotten a full four hours of sleep last night, so he shouldn’t pass out. Status: Ready.
Damian al Ghul technically wasn’t part of the precinct, but he was a loose cannon nonetheless. From Damian’s phone, Dick could faintly hear the sound of a dog’s bark, and based on the slight upturn of the boy’s lips, Dick guessed that he was enamoured by animal videos. At least he wasn’t causing chaos. Yet. Status: Ready.
Jason Todd was finishing some reports Dick had assigned him, but his eyes kept flickering to the unfinished book on his desk. In the past, Dick had to confiscate books and lock them in his desk drawer to keep Jason focused on his work. Somehow, however, the boy had found a new book, or roped Cass into helping him steal it from Dick’s desk. For now, though, he was occupied with his work. Status: Ready.
And then there was one. Y/n L/n. Dick sighed heavily, preparing himself for the shenanigans she would surely have gotten herself into. Dick’s gaze swept to the desk opposite Jason’s but… Y/n was sitting in her seat, cataloguing evidence. Dick’s mouth fell open. It was a miracle! What did he do to deserve this?! And on today of all days! Dick was silently celebrating when Y/n’s phone chimed and she peeked at it, a grin instantly coming to her face. She slowly turned her head to meet Damian’s Cheshire smile from behind his phone screen. 
“Are you sure?” Y/n asked. Damian nodded. Dick whimpered, pleading to his gods that whatever they were planning would come to a halt. The new Captain was due any moment and he couldn’t risk things not going perfectly. “Terrific,” Y/n cackled. 
Gotham had been gloomy that day, as it always was, but the dark sky was instantly forgotten as the elevator door hissed open and out stepped Captain Wayne. He was greeted by Y/n blasting Hello - I just came to say Hello sung by Lady Aqua on her small, Bluetooth speaker.
“Hello!” Y/n called to the emerging Captain, “And welcome to the sixty-sixth precinct in Gotham! Or as I like to call it, one six away from Hell and the devil herself.” She sang along with the track, “I just came to say hello! Steph! Now!”
Stephanie threw her hand up and let pieces of confetti fall to the floor. “I’ll clean it up later!” she shouted to Dick over the music.
Dick cradled his face in his hands. Captain Wayne did not seem pleased. Dick sighed before plastering on his award-winning smile and striding up to his new Captain. “Captain Wayne. I’m Sergeant Grayson. It’s a pleasure to have you here with us.”
Captain Wayne held a hand up and Dick slowly closed his mouth, his unshaken hand dropping to his side. “I am your new commanding officer, Captain Bruce Wayne. Sergeant Grayson? A word.”
“Of course,” he nodded, following Captain Wayne into the man’s new office. Dick shot Y/n a warning glare just as the music changed to Classic by MKTO. She bopped her head song to the beat, giving her superior a thumbs-up.
Damian didn’t look up as Captain Wayne marched by. After the door clicked shut, the civilian administrator muttered, “anyone else get a gay vibe?”
Y/n slowly turned the music down until it was a hush in the background. She hummed along before stating, “he and I are gonna be besties!” Steph cringed and Jason huffed a laugh.
“Sergeant Grayson,” Captain Wayne stood stoically, gazing out at his new team. “We served together in the fifteenth. How have you been?”
“Good, good. My wife and I just had twin baby girls.” Dick pulled out his wallet to show a family photo with him and Kori cuddling two little girls and grinning at the camera. 
“Adorable,” Captain Wayne barely glanced at the picture. “Tell me about your detective squad.”
“Okay.” Dick turned to stare out the office window with his senior officer. “Damian is our civilian administrator. He… has opinions and can rudely say them at inappropriate times, but the few times he does his job, he’s incredibly good at it. He grew up with L/n and that’s mainly how he got the job. He’s putting himself through law school and is surprisingly top of his class.”
“Damian, I need you to catalogue these files for me,” Cass said.
Damian held up a finger, typing away on his phone.
“Damian,” Cass repeated. 
“Hold on. I need to send a scathing email to my professor.”
Cass hummed and said, “fair. Take your time.”
“Cass is tough, fair, and impossible to read. Her specialty is silence, both in the field and in the precinct.” Dick exhaled, nodding towards the woman’s desk. “She’s brilliant and somewhat terrifying, but we all know she loves us.”
“How long has she been sitting there?” Y/n whispered.
“It’s been eight minutes and thirty one seconds,” Tim said, fixated on his watch.
“Damn,” Steph murmured. “What’s her record?”
“Eleven minutes and fifteen seconds,” Y/n answered automatically. They were all carefully watching Cass who was scowling at the wall. 
“Alright, everyone!” Dick barged into the briefing room and the three detectives cried out in protest. “First order of-”
“Dick! Shut up!” Y/n shushed him. “You’re disturbing Cass! This could be a new record.”
“Wait wait!” Stephanie slapped Y/n’s arm. “She’s still in the zone!”
Y/n gasped. “You got lucky, Grayson.”
“Stephanie is our optimistic cinnamon roll.” Dick beamed and gestured to Steph who was faithfully sweeping up the confetti. “She’s super dedicated to her job and no one can stay mad at her. She’d do anything for this precinct, as we would her.”
“Hey, Tim? Tiiiiiiim… Timmy!” Steph tapped his desk. “That’s your eighth cup of coffee.”
“It’s decaf!” Tim protested.
“No, it’s not. I watched you make it.” Jason pipped up. 
“You’re not helping!” Tim glared across the bullpen. Steph clicked her tongue accusingly, pointing at Jason to help prove her point.
“Fine.” Tim dumped his coffee in the trash. Steph ruffled Tim’s hair before bouncing back to her desk. 
“Tim is a coffee addict. He may be the most academically gifted on the team, except when it comes to his sleep schedule. He’s dreamed about being a police officer his entire life and his face when he made detective… you should’ve seen him.” Dick chuckled, shaking his head.
After Steph walked away, Tim fished his coffee out of the trash and quickly chugged it. Jason frowned at him disapprovingly.
“Jason grew up on the streets. He had a… bad home life and was surrounded by gangs as a kid. He was sure he would end up behind bars instead of putting others behind them. An older officer, Alfred, picked him up off the streets. Jason pulled himself up from his bootstraps and is now here. Contrary to his large, tank-like frame, he's just a kid who loves Jane Austen.”
“There’s a perp running around,” Dick said in the briefing room. “Who keeps breaking into people’s houses and stealing oddly specific items. Certain books, a vase, even a pillow-”
“It's a crazy ex-girlfriend,” Jason called out. 
“What?”
“The owners of the apartments all just got out of a relationship. The ex is stealing things that were meaningful from the relationship,” Jason explained. “The timeline adds up too. The robberies had time in between them for a relationship to grow and foster- a year or two apart.”
“Like your sex life,” Y/n snickered, high-fiving Cass.
“And Detective L/n?”
Dick shook his head, smiling softly against his will. “Y/n is my best detective. She’s always wanted to be the good guy and solve the hardest challenges. The only challenge she hasn’t overcome is how to grow up.”
“Well put,” Wayne raised an eyebrow. 
“Thank you!” Dick mentally patted himself on the back. “I’ve spent a lot of therapy time talking about her. But you can’t tell her that. She already has a big ego.”
“Noted.”
“I’ll need a list of your employees and anyone who has a key-”
Crash! Bang-bang!
“Really?” Jason turned to Y/n who was messing with a mini electric keyboard. “What are you? Twelve?”
In response, Y/n hit a button and a fart noise filled the air. “And I’d like to apologise for my partner,” Jason rolled his eyes. “Her parents didn’t give her enough attention.”
Y/n loudly asked, “if I solve this case, can I get this for free?”
“If you solve this case, I’ll buy it for you,” Jason deadpanned. 
“Yay! We’re looking for a perp with a buzz cut (ew, by the way) and a dragon tattoo on his left forearm.” Y/n stuck her tongue out at Jason. The man just frowned in question. “I have a confidential informant.” Y/n’s voice turned low and menacing. “He spent years in this place, slowly losing his sense of self. Watching, learning, listening… WE HAD A SPY ON THE INSIDE! HERCULES MUFFIN MAN!” Y/n proudly held up a small, fuzzy teddy bear. “Did I forget to mention he’s a nanny cam?” She turned Hercules Muffin Man around to show a camera implanted into his head. Her phone showed a grainy video of a guy breaking into the electronic store. “Oops!” She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. “Guess I get a piano for my desk.”
“You’re dismissed,” Wayne nodded to Dick who saluted. “Please ask Damian to join me.”
“Yes, boss?” A minute later, Damian stood in the doorway.
“Close the door behind you,” Wayne instructed. “Tell me about L/n.”
“Y/n? I’m assuming you’re inquiring about personal details because I’m sure Richard gave you the professional. Y/n’s in love with Jason.” He shrugged, staring at his new boss with a look that asked Is that what you wanted to know?
“Oh.” Wayne didn’t know what else to say other than, “Does he like her back?” He cleared his throat. 
“I don’t know,” Damian muttered. “I know my best friend, but I know shit about Jason.” Captain Wayne took a breath and excused Damian with a wave of his hand. He rubbed his temples, wondering what he had done to deserve the DA assigned him this precinct.
Bruce set up a photo of him and Clark as Rasputin blared on Y/n’s speakers.
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thy-valhallen · 6 months ago
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Batfam by How Likely They Are to Break the No-Killing Rule
Jason Todd. obviously, this is his bit, the man is okay with murder so long as he perceives due cause, pew pew babygirl, rubber bullets still can kill you but now, Bruce can't yell at him if they die later
Barbara Gordon. you cannot tell me this woman isn't bloodthirsty. she follows the rules because she plays nice and respects the justice system (mostly), but i fully believe she can and will fly a drone with a mounted gun and snipe someone from six blocks away one day if the other Bats are busy, and she might not feel inclined to call an ambulance
Stephanie Brown. a Narrows girl, she knows how shit can happen, and if someone's after one of the Batfam, you better believe she's got a knife at the ready. Steph follows the rule well! for now. but look, if she's in mortal peril, she's not about to put her attacker's life above her own
Tim Drake. Tim is the true neutral here to me-- he follows the Code because of the effect it would have on Bruce and the rest of the family. he fully understands this and avoids it. ... there are no less than six different timelines in which he has pretty freely murdered people, and the jokes about him being the Most Likely to be a Supervillain jokes are based in something, guys. i feel like it would be more of a problem if he weren't so exhausted and busy 24/7-- so let's keep him very busy so he doesn't catch a charge
Damian al Ghul-Wayne. he's had a lot of growth from his days of being a child assassin and puts a lot of value on following their Code now-- but look me dead in the eyes and say he wouldn't kill for most of his family in a heartbeat. lie to me.
Dick Grayson. he and Damian are tied for me in how it's fairly situational and both would suffer tremendous emotional backlash for the action-- but Dick has a lot of rage and a lot of people who have hurt him and his loved ones. there's a tipping point, and he's reached it before. he blames himself for so much, if he ever got caught up in his own wrath and actually game-ended someone, I think the man would never wear a mask again
Duke Thomas. Duke may be under-credited for his absolutely feral behavior, but murder is definitively not on that list. he is so down to throw down, but Duke has never (to my knowledge) had a close call with murdering someone like many of the others in this family. putting this mostly on his powers giving him a leg-up there, but powers or not, no body count and never expect that to change for him
Bruce Wayne. the epitome of the No-Killing Code except for all those times he's nearly killed someone in intensely stressful situations. is strict about it because he knows how easy a line it is to cross and how it would devastate him emotionally and holds that standard. no killing is probably a kitschy poster in the Batcave at this point, Jason got it lovingly printed on a metal sign next to the Batcomputer
Cassandra Cain. has killed and will never kill again-- Bruce has close calls and has to be stopped, Cass has close calls and reins herself in. the blood on her hands is red enough without more-- she's an obsidian blade, sharp enough to cut molecules but so very fragile. one bad move would break her, and being the strongest in the family, it would be so very easy to make that move and it would be easy to live in fear of herself. but she doesn't-- there's shit to do and crime to be carefully nerve-pinched, after all
Bonus:
Alfred Pennyworth. i couldn't rank him with the others, do you know how this would look if I started the list with Alfred??? this is an ex-MI6 agent. this is a man who responds to home invasions of any threat level from "Burglar" to "Darkseid" with a sawed-off shotgun and fresh pair of gloves in his pocket for after he's disposed of the body. he's killed and will kill again, just step within range, kind sir, and you'll find out
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