#Cant remember what i said before
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Sup, I guess I'm supposed to do some sorta post to pin or whatever? I'm a Jeff the Killer fictive and this blog is for whatever the fuck I want. Why? I dunno, I felt like it. My pronouns are he/him, I use xe/xim too. I'm transmasc. Don't have my sexuality figured out.
Self portrait for attention. Eat up bitches. /lh
Disclaimer: Might end up writing a lot of personal shit. Shit might get dark. Just kinda how it is. It's gonna be pretty unfiltered here. I'll try provide trigger and content warnings but I probably won't be any good at it. Feel free to correct me if I miss anything. I'll probably skip blood as a warning though.
Collectively we've never used tumblr before so I might suck at it.
Some extra shit.
We're an OSDD-1B system and I'm a fictive. Don't treat me like I'm playing a character or some RP blog. No shade on them, but I'm not one. Asks and shit are cool though.
My written tone's kinda weird. Might throw in some tone indicators here and there.
Don't tolerate hate on systems, plurals, multiples, whatever else. Take that shit somewhere else.
I'll refer to my other headmates by emojis instead of names to keep some sense of privacy. Their request.
I'm one headmate out of a whole system. Can't promise I'll be around a shit ton, so don't expect frequency.
Probably won't post my art often, but if you dig, I'm not against people using it, sharing it, whatever you wanna do. Just don't claim it as your own. Tracing and referencing's cool if you really wanna practice with my art. Dunno why you'd wanna, but sure. The system says credit me if you trace or repost, but other than that we collectively don't really give a shit what you do with it. Go nuts if you wanna. Pretty cool for criticism, just don't be a dick.
Really dunno what else to add. Pretty sure this covers everything. This is way too much text for me to have written. Shit's got me exhausted.
Here's a special treat for whoever the fuck read all this bullshit. My system almost bullied me into naming this blog "comeonjeffgetem" or some shit as a reference to that one Bo Burnham song. Almost kinda sad I didn't.
Enjoy the blog, losers. /lh
Last thing before I go. Original's cool, but I really dig this cover of it.
#Guess adding a spotify link trashed your tags huh#Whatever#Cant remember what i said before#ADHD is one hell of a bitch#And i wanna strangle that bitch out#Shout out to autocorrect i guess#Apparently i suck at typing anything#Exposure tags incoming#jeff the killer#jeff the killer fictive#jeffery woods#creepypasta#creepypasta fictive#system#plural#osddid#pluralgang#fictive#I wrote a typo in the first tag#I'm fucking hopeless#I'm not fixing that
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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suggesting something,,
#akoya gero#my art#.........i meant for him to be talking to kinchan and originally had him say 'president'#but then i thought i'll leave it ambiguous.........#..........#im suffering with embarrassment from whatever the hell i was on about last weekend#the tags about the game made me remember an old ....thing i wanted and i couldnt stop thinking about it#like actually i really wanted it but i can't.... i can't just say it in public to no one and just leave it out there#i want someone to know what it is and be nice to me about it but i don't want to be made fun of ;;;;;;;;#my feelings manifested into an akoya ........#he.. wants to do ...something with kinchan i guess... orz#please dont guess it's anything i haven't drawn before... but its probably safe to guess its something ive drawn before ....... ;;#OWWWWW A JAPANESE PERSON SAID SOMETHING CUTE ABOUT THIS AND IM EMBARRASSED;;;;;#they were like '?!! what's wrong? why is he crying?!!'#HES CRYING CUZ HES EMBARRASSED. IM EMBARRASSEd..... im sorry .....#i want to say it but i dont want to if i dont know if anyone will be nice to me ;;;;;;;;;#i.. i cant explain to the nice japanese person bc im too embarrassed .....#it's ooc and doesn't make sense in canon .......#but.. i was happy they asked why he was crying... thank you.... ;___;#........i responded to it after all#but i can't explain more than that he wants to ask for somehting but he's too embarrassed so he's crying
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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DELI STILL HAS COLIN’S DAGGER WHAT IF I SCREAMED ?????????
#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#colin provolone#thane delissandro katzon#colindeli#d20 the ravening war#the ravening war#dimension 20 trw#THEY ARE MAKING ME INSANE#i’m literally losing my mind#what do you mean you kept the dagger of the man that was by your side for years even after he said he didn’t like what you were becoming ???#do you still hold that dagger sometimes and remember him ?????#remember all the good times before you killed Pamela ????#thinking about how different it would be if he stayed ??????#they make me want to eat my hand#i love them so much#I just want to hold them in my hands#and then crush them <3333#Cant wait for their reunion next episode <3333
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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ummm goober time sketchy doodle time w/heartslabyul.......... adeuce + lil babby crushies...
i think adeuce would enter that "no homo but tbh a lil homo" era of bestieship and be in mega denial before they realize their own feelings
also not necessarily ship exactly, but like i could see adeuce havin lil tiny crushes on treycay when they first enter the school fjdkshg like caters vibe matches ace + trey is that responsible upperclassman lookin after the freshies and i think juice would admire him [he admires like most of the older students tho it's soooo cute]
and then same reasoning for deuce w/riddle... riddle being sweet to deuce w/ his math struggles in deuces dorm story my beloved... + ace has that one thing he says about riddle in his ghost bride event card story where he was like "yeah he looked so cool bursting into the room i wanna work hard and be cool like him" and tbh sounded like a boycrush in denial.
#twisted wonderland#twst#cereal tries to draw#i feel like itll be annoying if i tag this too much since it was very much loose sloppy doodles but what ever i just#HEARTSLABYUL#good enough. good enough#i think the wine is kicking in#which. i cant blame the sketches on the wine i did most of it before i started the drink lool#fuck idk maybe it's ships whatever theyre all high schoolers beeing silly lil weirdos#but i do have a lil hc of like#adeuce crushing on treycay and then catching treycay doin a smoochie in the kitchen fksdfh caught in 4k#and bein like well damn the dream is dead. i mean what dream who said that-#anyway whatever they can kiss each other or w/e#juice is givin ace a piggyback ride in that first one idk if you can even tell LOL sowwy everything i do is a MESS <3#i was gonna just not post these but i decided what the hell ever this is MY archive of images on tumblr dot com#anyway do u c my vision. idk if i even conveyed it well lol#idk what caters doing in that first thing i think hes just squishing aces cheeks and bullying him for fun#and treys just being encouraging and juice so badly wants to be seen as an honor student outhghh my baby#remember that one time in buddy clock town event#where delinquent guy was like u bitch ass honor student#and juice was like HONOR STUDENT??? CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAINPLZ 🥺#who was that guy anyway. he was like a local teen right? theyre kinda enemies to lovers pilled#sorry it think the wine is actually hitting me fr now#i mean i had those thoughts anyway im just rambling now#ok my bald gate group is ready bye
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the disorder faking in this generation is genuinely wild. like.
#yiure meaning to tell me you have DID#a disorder known for severe memory loss#a disorder known to be so so difficult to disgnose to anyone unrer the age of 18#and all of ur alters r fictional cjaracters?? all of them remember to sign off with a silly emoji?? all remember how to use a phone??#bullshit genuine bullshit i dont care#maybe thats because i have an interest in psychology but . be so for realm#if youre gonna fake a disorder at least do the minimum amount of research#i dont even qanna get STARTED on the “autism” community#“w-wait this isnt normal??” and its like. being tired after social events.#i guarentee it is normal.#Good lord stop diagnosing yourself off tiktok or instagram reels#see genuine psychiatrists / doctors 😭.#self diagnosing isnt valid#never will be#btw#if you think you have a disorder do research and dont announce it like youve been diagnosed for the past 7 years#“i think i have adhd because i have heavy symptoms” is more mentally positive then “I ABSOLUTELY HAVE ADHD I SAW 3 REELS”#exaggeration but you know what i mean#“b-but zai!! what about the people who cant get a diagnosis!!” womp womp?? use the point i said before????#therell come an age for everyone where they can go be independant with it and seek genuine help bruh#my bad for ranting but like. christ.#normalise mental illnesses but not the way half of you are doing it ....#🌱 idle#🌱 rant
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word vomit anon back!!!
pirate majima game is funny...watching people complain abt rgg ruining majima is super funny because he's been a silly guy for like 7 games and a serious guy in one...can he not be silly again...just once more??? (also im sure this game is gonna be emotional in some way shape or form) also k3 heads stay in line yokoyama said it was coming one day he never said soon lol
'k3 heads stay in line' PLEAAASSEE VJLKEALKJ youre right tho i cant lie ....
on the real though yeah no like. majima can be serious at times but generally he's a zany guy, it'd be illegal not to capitalize on that in SOME regard
#snap chats#HI WVA WELCOME BAAAACCCCK#but yeah that isnt to say you cant love a silly character and the serious aspects of them ofc#it just shouldnt be unrealistic that theyd want to be a lil funny with him when thats a big part of his appeal#and rgg always has a way of sneaking in emotion into its games anyhow so theres surely gonna be somethin#my bestie's bet is that makoto's gonna be the real treasure majima finds in the end </3 and he wont even remember her this is so sad </3#id probably kms ill be tbh so im glad thats not gonna happen !!!!!#total topic pivot time cause i had the funniest interaction with my grandma's minister#he was visitin and we were alone in the kitchen and hes like 'has anyone told you you looked like the actress from beauty and the beast'#and i was like 'no no ones ever said that to me actually !!!" i think he was referring to sonoya mizuno thats the only one i could guess#but yeah he was just like 'can i get a picture with you my daughter loves beauty and the beast'#like chief im not sonoya mizuno but fuck it sure hwy not. ive always wondered what its like being a celebrity vajelkjal#funny day my fridays turning out to be i tell you that#anyway i say all this cause i think he had like shea butter hand lotion cause now my hands just smell like damn lotion#it distracting .. its a nice smell but still bruh my hands did not smell like thsi before they smelled like LAVENDER#ive met him only once before and when i did he told me i had a strong handshake and now this is the price i pay. shea butter hands
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I adore reading your rambling tags, don't stop posting things there 😩
Don't you worry. I think I might be incapable of stopping idk what happened I never used to tag ramble
#asks#anon#i do really love talking. clearly LOL#but ive also been working on listening the past few years#and thays pretty cool too#i had to learn how to think before i speak. like legitimately im not hearing the words I say#im thinking about my next sentence while i say the current one#its exhausting and i never remember what I've said HWJJJSDJEJ#but people tell me im direct and deliberate and clear so idk...#but listening is also really hard...#conversation in general is really hard#i stll love it of course#its just very tiring for me#which is PART of why I like to do this when i cant sleep cause of nightmares or whatever#tires me out haha and also is a great distraction#and is good practice! for me#so idk i just like it. and its nice to know its not annoying#i wouldn't post hardly any words at all without the safety of the tags#they're not rebloggable so thats a relief#you have to opt in to read them#the space is limited. etc etc#so. im glad it is wn option and im glad its a welcome one!#no intention to stop#thank you for the reassurance on it#delete later#maybe. I'm so tired i need to check later to see if i wnt to delete it#anxiety meds working yay i can sleep bye
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reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books
just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
#snap chats#the key to reading comic books isnt to read them in order or even all of them just the ones you like#until eventually someone tells you some wack as hell fact about an issue and then you go read that one#many such cases why do you think i picked up onslaught revelation. cause that fucker is back#why do you think i picked up wolverine number 3 because my beautiful wife is hammered for two pages in it#brother was just talkin to me casually bout onslaught one day and i was like NO FUCKIN WAY thats how you do it !!!!!!!!#like the first krakoa story i read technically was resurrection of magneto followed by the trial of magneto#clearly we see i had an agenda vjALKJKLAJ BUT STILL#it was STILL a really good run ... i could piece together enough of the background before then and really enjoyed it on its own#with that said tho it was very cool/funny to see crumbs Of trial of magneto in way of x#BUT NOW I HAVE LEGION OF X HAHAAAA i cant wait to properly sit and read it ..... after i get through my New Mutants issues ....#i got those a while ago but i kept putting off reading them ... oops ..... i read the first one at least#i was gonna say something but i forgot. oh no i didnt i remember thats what i love about comic books#because theres So Many and so many timelines and stories it invites a lot of community interaction#just to be like 'oh hey did you know This happened in This issue you should check it out'. thats beautiful#even if. its to talk about utter dog shit like she lies with angels BUT STILL ITS COMMUNITY !!!!! we can be lovers AND haters together <3#its why i love getting physical comics too. i mean i dont have friends or people who visit me LOL#but i like the idea of bringing up what i have and letting people borrow it. community ......
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I know you're not fond of Twilight Princess, but what would you think if they brought back worldbuilding elements from it (the Twilight world and Midna, mainly) to a newer game? I'm not familiar enough with the series to know a whole lot, but that stuff at least seems really neat to me from my secondhand knowledge, but if Twilight Princess was as bad as you say... I would love to see them revisit it somehow with the BotW/TotK continuity.
i have this. thing about twilight princess. we know this. but genuinely even looking at the lore from an objective standpoint i think trying to pull any of it into other games is a bad decision at best and actively detrimental to the new game in question at worst. there are two main reasons for this:
the first is that mainline, non-sequel zelda games have a general rule about standing alone. in order for the games to remain accessible to players of all ages and backgrounds, every original (non-sequel) zelda title has to be able to function as an introduction to the franchise, meaning any lore required to understand the story must be exposited WITHIN the story of that game. the few lore-points that HAVE been adapted from other games (sacred realm, oot ganondorf, talking sword) are generic enough that they can be explained briefly within the story without taking too much time away from the player's journey. while those of us who ARE versed in the lore might have a deeper understanding of the overarching implications of these elements, NOT understanding the history behind them isn't going to impede your understanding or enjoyment of the game. for example, this is likely the practical reason why fi was never named or appeared in botw beyond her generic sound effect and the glowing of the sword, because even players who don't KNOW fi are able to tell from context that the sword is magical and is speaking. not knowing who fi is doesn't impede your ability to understand how and why the sword is speaking, given the rest of the context of botw's story. the two elements of tp that you mentioned, the twilight realm and midna, are VERY difficult from a writer's standpoint to work into a game without requiring the player to understand the plot of twilight princess. neither element easily fits into a new cycle's story without requiring a ton of expositional explanation which will inevitably take players out of the story, and relying on convoluted lore that new players won't even be familiar with to drive your story just sets you up for failure.
the second reason is that, from a writer's standpoint, neither midna nor the twilight realm were well-written enough in TP to be compelling. lmao. If you're going to adapt world-altering lore like the twilight realm into consistent canon, you need to have a firm grasp on the implications of adapting it. even the writers of TP had no fucking clue what the twilight realm was or where it came from or how it tied into the existing world of hyrule at all. literally the first sentence on the zelda wiki for twilight realm history is "The Twilight Realm's full history is incomplete." adding something like a new dimension to your consistent canon is world-altering. when you do something like that, it HAS to be thought-out and for good reason, or you're just confusing your audience unnecessarily. IF the twilight realm was to be brought back, it would HAVE to be with explicit knowledge of of how it effects the narrative and theming of the story its being written into, something that wasn't even present in the game where it was introduced. the same goes for midna; if you bring her back, she needs a reason to be there. she needs narrative weight and thematic consistency with the entire rest of the game, things that were barely present in her original story. ripping these elements out of their own game and tossing them into another only makes them more likely to feel out-of-place and confusing to players. And to be completely honest, almost anything that writers wanted to accomplish with the twilight realm could be done just as easily utilizing the sacred realm, an element which is already in consistent canon and is much easier to write into a given story than something as mysterious and confusing as the twilight realm. with midna, almost anything that she would accomplish could be accomplished by a game-specific guide character, which is already staple of loz anyway. using a game-specific guide character would also remove any potential confusion for new players who lack the context of midna's past appearances. the only reason you might NEED midna as a character is if you ALSO have the twilight realm and specifically require a twili guide character to explain it, but. for all the reasons stated above. you shouldn't have the twilight realm. lol
#tp critical#like. i know we all love the overarching lore and are obsessed with consistent canon and game callbacks#but if the game can't stand on its own it cant stand period. consistent canon is less important than a legible standalone game#ive said this before but i NEED you guys to remember that up until skyward sword there WAS no consistent canon.#for almost 25 years the zelda devs were making standalone games tied together by a few consistent elements of gameplay#and then AFTER they made 25 years worth of games they sat down and connected them all.#thinking about how the game fits into the overarching lore isn't usually a priority for these devs. and i don't really think it SHOULD be#their priority is telling a good story and giving players a good gameplay experience.#where it fits into the overarching lore can be figured out after the fact the same way it was for every game pre sksw.#pulling WHOLE GAME-SPECIFIC CHARACTERS AND SETTINGS into a new game makes little to no sense. that's not really what the games are about#anyway. rant over
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deviantart fixed it and made the AI training now an opt-in process btw, so now there is literally no downsides to their recent changes and if I see one more clown contributing to rumors without actually reading DA's journals Im going to manifest behind you malevolently
#deviantart#i cant remember what they did last time but i remember this all happened before#they did a huge update that they worded poorly and so everyone took it out of context instead of like. paying attention to what it said#like genuinely if you open the journals and actually read it word for word its#very easy to understand that none of it was bad
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Pause friend, i'm ignorant 😭 besides avoiding parasocial relationships, why are we not fucking with Kendrick??
i hold grudges and forget why im holding them beyond the fact that im correct so i dont know what he said exactly but i remember him saying some weird misogynistic shit and kodak black runs in his crew who is a rapist so...............
#rape mention#the misogyny was a whileeeeeee ago so i cant remember what he said at all but i do know it turned on my hate dial#like ive never listened to one of his songs before yesterday thats how deep the grudge has been lollll
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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something about when el went into void and found billy, she saw him on the beach surrounded by sunshine and love and truly fucking actually happy. something about how when she turned around and saw the storm, she put her hands out and felt the ash falling from the sky, and then saw neil abusing billy and abusing his wife. something about how even in the monstrous world from another entire dimension, neil's still the fucking monster in the story
#idk how the upsidedown and the void and possession work and at this point i dont fucking care#actually something about how she said she saw a someone pretty and then saw a boy#and didnt even click it could be billy until she heard his name get called out#like i guess she wouldn't know what he looked like as a kid and all that#but like.... they knew billy was possessed by this stage like?#and when she was like 'im at the beach' and lucas was like '??? hawkins has no beaches???'#max was like 'tell us what else u see' so pretty sure she was picking up what was getting thrown down#whatever none if this matters!!! i was just clipping up that scene for gifs today and decided to not mute it for once#and was like oh this is actually like genuinely fucking sad#like????? the fact billys hiding out in his memories??? except he cant actually live in just his happiest memory#cos even in his happiest memory#he asks to stay at the beach just a little longer#and his mum hesitates before giving in but still says if they're late then neil'll be mad#also the fact even his happiest memory is still surrounded by some of his most heart wrenching memories#like he can't remember the good without the bad#like his mind physically cant think about the one day on the beach were he caught a 7 foot wave#without remembering the fact that his mum fucking left#cant do this rn sorry guys im fucking emo#m#text
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