#CAN YOU SEE MY IDEA ON MORI NOT THINKING IT WAS ABUSE????

[emilover-1]

LOTS of things.

First, with the 'Ilusiones'.

Your thoughts are really interesting and show how deeply you’ve connected with Mori’s work. I love how you pointed out the cultural meaning of black and red in Japan and how Mori’s writing reflects his personal history and traditions. It makes his work feel so rich and meaningful.

I also liked how you described Mori as both strong and vulnerable. That’s something many people can relate to—trying to seem strong on the outside while struggling with emotions inside. It’s powerful that he shows this side of himself in his writing, even if he’s not doing it on purpose. It makes him feel more human and real. (Even though he doesn't really think of himself as one, but anyways)

His journey from being a doctor to an author must have been tough, especially since he couldn’t go back once he chose that path. But it also shows how determined and brave he was, even if people misunderstood or judged him. That kind of honesty in his work is what makes it so emotional and unforgettable.

Thank you for sharing it!

It’s amazing how Mori’s writing can create such a strong connection and make people think deeply about life, culture, and emotions, really.

And, answering your final question. Yes, I can see it. You say:

"Mori you wanted to defend your idea why were you doing a conclusion of you being a slave of your own thoughts, reputation and the standards with what people (specially your parents) expected from you."

And, it's ironic, because Mori in BSD feels like a slave for the port and yokohama. knowing that they expect him to manage very hard things. And, what you said by the end it.... hits hard.

Yes, you're right. Mori's purpose is to UNDERSTAND his point of view, and it's funny that people just don't get it when that is one of his purposes.

I like that, for example, with dazai you can understand and believe that he, Mori, didn't really thought of it as abuse. Because this time, it was different. He cared about dazai. A lot. Because he sees in him the younger. version of himself, and despite how... ironic ? it sounds; Mori wants to protect the little innocence (if there is, he just likes to believe that there's even just a bit buried deep, deep behind) that he couldn't protect when he was younger and with Yosano. So, he's in sort of denial to believe that he actually abused psychologically dazai because that would mean that he hurt and harmed (psychologically, yet again. Don't misunderstand(Im seeing yall)) one of the very little people he actually CARES about. And that had been out of his control since, well. In Dark Era, it is obvious that Mori, despite feeling glad to have the envelope, is... hurt ? By dazai leaving. Because deep, very deep down, he knows that he left a scar on him unintentionally, BECAUSE, Mori saw himself in Dazai so much that he thought Dazai would react like he would have done. Sad on the inside, but also knowing that it was for the greater good, and cause Mori thinks of himself as a slave to the organization, it would've been worth it, to him

Nothing to do but it's also weirdly funny that the fandom considers Mori as smelly without knowing that he hates dirt. Media Literacy, I guess.

Oops, did I rant too much? Mb. Anyways in conclusion, Mori CHOOSES to believe he isnt quite human because of his actions, yet his feelings and thoughts prove himself as one. Mori doesn't really see what happened with Dazai as abuse, because that would mean to accept that he hurt someone he cared about, and Mori isn't really ready for that yet.

Thank you for taking your time to read, having said that,

TOODLES!!!

My favourite work from Rintarou Mori was Vita Sexualis. Now (since a long time ago lol) it is Moso <3 in Spanish it is translated as «Ilusiones» that literally means «Illusions» and in some contexts it can mean «Fantasies» I don't know how the work is called officially in English though I'm so sorry

So for everyone to have context about why Mori wrote it, there was this opinion that Rintarou hated and it said something like: ”Japan is a backward, poor and dirty county, plagued by diseases and dominated by barbaric customs, which indiscriminately imported Western customs and techniqued that weakened it, and whose esteemed culture was devastated by the Japanese themselves“. And Rintarou Mori, an author known for not knowing when to shut up, not because he spoke too much, but because when he sees something that he doesn't like, he speaks so freely about it and Natsume knows about it lol

In this short work from 1911, Mori explains his reasons of why that statement is absolutely incorrect, and there's a quote that I love a lot"

“From the time I was born until today, what have I done. I study relentlessly as if someone is whipping me, whipping me constantly. I think I do it to develop myself, to be able to fulfil a task. Maybe a part of this goal can be fulfilled. But it seems to me that what I do is nothing more than playing, like an actor, a role on stage. I feel that beyond the role I play, there must be something more. I feel that I am constantly being whipped and stimulated, so that I have no time to let go. The child who studies, the young man who studies, the civil servant who studies, they all play a role. One day I'll wash my face painted in red and black and get off the stage. I wish to think of myself calmly and see how it is something behind. With these thoughts I continue to play role after role, while the stage manager whips my back. I am sure that this performance is not life. I sense that the something that is behind me is nodding off again and falling asleep. Lately I feel nostalgic for my people; I am like the grasses that float and move with the waves in the distance and continue their undulating movement, and sometimes with the shaking they tremble to the roots, and this does not correspond to the role I play on stage. But this feeling, as soon as I raise my head, is erased”

Mori you wanted to defend your idea why were you doing a conclusion of you being a slave of your own thoughts, reputation and the standards with what people (specially your parents) expected from you also WHY IS THAT SO RELATABLE

The author is so human, traumatized and very much autistic, but it's so realistic and relatable... I don't know if I have analyzed the quote here before, if I have done it I'm so sorry 😭

Anyway Mori and samurais were topics extremely connected. His mother was a descendant of samurais, black is a colour associated with them and to weddings, being seen as a masculine colour in Japan. On the other hand, red in Japan is associated with peace, prosperity of family and even justice only in Kabuki Theater performances!

Kabuki is a genre of traditional Japanese theater, dating all the way back to the Edo Period (1603-1867)

The quote I shared is like less than 4 pages to the end of the work. It helps for reflexion and is one of the few times that the author opens his heart to the reader, where he shares things, but he's doing his maximum effor to show that Japanese and his people aren't weak... Although, it's almost obvious (at least for me) that deep in the inside he's not as strong as he claims to be, he can also be vulnerable, but he can't go back anymore because he already started walking that way to being an author, a doctor, a strong person that not only people hated but even felt afraid of Mori!

Unlike Vita Sexualis, Ilusiones is not a semi-autobiography, it's not a novel or a long book... But it's so deep, so emotional in some parts that at least I felt connected to the author when I read it. Mori's purpose is for you to think like him, to see his point, and he knows how to make sense to people that it can be shocking reading his works

Do you see any of this in BSD? I do. But what about you all?

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Anime Convention (feat. someone real). Part II

Self-Aware! Akiko Yosano x GN! Reader

Description: "Don't tell doctor about your problems" have the same vibe as "Call cleaning company only after you made your house spotless". However, in your current situation it's more of a "Don't make your friend even more worried about you".

One last "gift" from your former colleagues left an injury. Yosano treats your wounds. You try to play dumb while she is doing it.

Despite her sadistic traits, Akiko Yosano can be empathetic. She wants to be someone you can rely on. Besides, she is curious about you. Perhaps, you won't be against of having a small talk?

Warning: OOC. English is my second language. Reader have low self-esteem. Reader don't think that they worth to be loved. Reader want to have friends but afraid of rejection. Injuries (bruises and big cuts from glass). Emotional abuse from parent

<| Interlude №1 |

_________

Albatross' motorcycle stopped before the mansion. BSD Cast and your new home.

Three cars, with the rest of the Flags, parked not far away from you.

You remove the helmet and gave it back to Albatross. He tried to give you a reassuring smile. You tried to smile back, but your smile was small, hollow and tried.

You still can taste your favorite ice cream flavor. You were mostly silent during the trip for an ice cream, but, you hopped, that you didn't ruin Flags' mood. You were trying to stay positive. But one's mind can be a cruel force.

During the trip to the ice cream parlor, you tried not to think about the situation you were in.

You were jobless. And right now you have no way to get another job. For a town with a big university, there weren't enough options for a student to get a part-time job here. Especially during summer, when most of the students return home and employers were skeptical about hiring students, who decided to stay in town.

You have no way to pay rent. Well, you have some savings, but you really didn't want to spend them. And your rent was high. After you begged your previous landlord to let you keep an apartment (without you living there, but paying higher rent), he was adamant about the time you pay rent. If earlier, he could let you pay a week or two later, but now you should pay the exact day each month.

you need this apartment. if when if when if when BSD Cast left you, you will be alone again. you will need a place to go.

You were so tired. Not only because of what was happening in university. Because of studies, because of years staying far from home. Because of high school years. Because of your future.

You wanted life to be easy again.

You automatically followed after Flags and come inside the house.

Home sweet home.

__________

The mansion was a multiply-floor house with many bedrooms, attic, basement and with a big yard with a barn, playground and picnic tables. Fitzgerald also promised, that there will be a pool in a future. And Kenji wanted to get some farm animals and plant some vegetables.

You had no idea, how in the world Fitzgerald managed to get this place. You weren't questioning, how he got it. You saw documents from the bank about Fitzgerald's and The Guild members' accounts. You were too scared of looking at the accounts of the rest of BSD Cast.

You were still getting used to living in the mansion. All this people, all this space.

you were grateful, that you weren't alone here

_______

Flags and you were greeted by unamused Mori. Port Mafia Boss crossed arms on his chest, tapping his foot against the floor.

It was strange to see Mori without his normal attire (and you meant both "Port Mafia Boss" and "Underground Doctor" versions), but, you have to admit, that he looked good in his light green shirt and black jeans.

Mori glared at the Flags, before looking at you, his eyes immediately soften.

"Welcome home, My Sweet Bean. How your day has been doing?"

You felt your cheeks burning. One day, this nicknames will get you.

you like them. friends have nicknames for each other. as long as friendship lives the nicknames will live on...

when if when if when if they left you, will someone else have a nickname for you? or will your nicknames disappear forever

You ignored the thoughts and slightly nodded.

"Hello, Mori. Day has been doing... interesting"

It was true. You practically witness a bar fight... Without "bar", but "café fight" sounds lame.

Mori sent another glare towards Flags, coming closer towards you. None of the Flags looked guilty. Piano Man especially looked like he was ready to shut down every word of accusation that will come from Mori.

Of course, it doesn't affect Mori in any way.

"Yes. I do think that it was interesting. Especially after what my subordinates did, and how it has affected you."

The atmosphere became tense. Mori took a step towards Flags.

Cold claws of guilt and shame sank into your heart. Without second thought, you grabbed Mori's hand.

"No, Mori, please, it is my fault. I should have been better. I am sorry."

Mori coughed and looked at you with a shocked expression. You also felt the five pair of eyes on the back of your head, staring in dumbfounded silence.

you managed to shock Port Mafia Boss. and Flags... yay? will you get an achievement?

Mori opened and closed his mouth. He looked like a fish out of water.

"In what way it's your fault? In what way you should have been better?" finally managed to ask Mori.

Still acting on your emotions, you answered.

"Because if I were a better person, I won't be harassed."

_________

You were sniffing. A fresh big bruise on your arm looked ugly. Your father's steel voice rang into your ears.

"Stop whining. Stop playing a victim. No one else is being bullied. They only bother you. You know, what it means?"

Your father was waiting for an answer. You gulped and try to hold back tears.

"It means that I am the problem. I should have been better. To get good grades. To go to university."

Your father nodded.

"Right, [Y/N]. You should have been better. A better person, a better student. A better child. Because, in days like this..." Father scoffed. "I am ashamed of being your father. So makes me want to be your dad."

____________

Your memories were interrupted by another voice. The door leading to the basement opened and Ayatsuji step into the main hallway.

"Hello, [Y/N]. Are you alright?"

You mindlessly nodded. Mori and Flags, however, looked concerned.

you are terrible. you made them worried about you.. it's your fault. your fault.

Ayatsuji stepped between you and Mori.

"Is everything alright?"

You were grateful for Ayatsuji's intervention. You bit your lip and nodded again.

"Yes..."

You didn't notice the strange glances Flags, Mori and Ayatsuji send towards each other. You stepped from one leg to another. And felt something heavy in your backpack. You completely forgot!

can you be even more of a klutz?

You took off your backpack.

"Hey, Ayatsuji, I get the book you asked for from the library."

Without looking, you put your hand into your backpack, trying to get the book. A sharp pain pierce through your palm. You yelled, your backpack fell on the floor. With first drops of blood. The book fell from the backpack.

A big, bloodied shard of glass was stuck between book's pages. It seems, one of your former colleagues left it here.

To hurt you.

The hell broke loose.

Ayatsuji dashed back to the basement, Iceman, Piano Man and Doc were searching for the first aid kit, Albatross and Lippmann were trying to pick up your fallen things.

One of Mori's hand carefully took your injured palm, pressing a handkerchief over your wounds.

"Don't worry, [Y/N], it's going to be fine."

Then Ayatsuji reappeared with Yosano in tow. ADA Doctor immediately got near you, gently leading you to the basement. On her way, she took the damn book from Albatross's hands.

"I will take it from here. Let's go down to the infirmary, [Y/N]."

You followed after Yosano.

___________

The infirmary was quite big. Big enough to have an operation room, in addition to classic doctor office.

You were sitting in the office part, while Yosano were applying balm and bandaging your palm.

You were looking at the wall. You didn't want to think about what happened, what will happen. You didn't want to think about rumors, about your insecurities.

You just wanted to have something stable in your life.

The rest of the day will be terrible.

🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺

Yosano was worried about you. And injury wasn't the main reason for her concerns.

Your behavior was concerning.

She remembered, when, back in their old world, she heard you talking to yourself about different topics.

About books, nature, last news.

You were interesting. And each time you started to talk about something, Little Light was glowing, almost purring.

You were happy.

And what she saw now...

They held the first meeting few days after they moved into the mansion.

It was clear, that something was strange with you.

Kajii said that you were shy.

Katai said that you need more time to get used to them.

But Koyou's whispered "abuse".

Yosano hated, that it's probably were the truth.

She doubted, that you were hit. But, abuse came in many forms.

And Yosano already hated everyone who put you through it.

She wanted to ask outright. She wasn't the only one.

Natsume Soseki stopped them.

"Let's not rush. Let's be patient. Just, show them that we care. Tell them, how valid their feelings and decisions are. How interesting they are. How happy we have them in our lives. Let's show them, that they deserve to be loved."

Valid decisions...

Maybe, before that, she could pry for a bit?

🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺

"Do you like going to the university?" Yosano's question came out of nowhere. You blinked and turned away from staring at the wall to look at Yosano. She finished bandaging your palm and was putting bandage and balm away. You tilted your head.

"Of course, I always wanted to go to the university." you were telling the truth. University means opportunities! University means getting a good job! University means new frie-

let's not think about that for now...

Yosano shook her head.

"Sorry, I guess, I should have elaborated. Do you like to attend your current university, with your current fellow students?"

You looked down. You didn't want to answer this question. Because your answer will make you feel bad.

"Yes, I am... I am getting a good degree..." you whispered. Yosano's eyes and small smile were warm. You tried not to cry.

"I know, that degree is not only good. You also like getting it. You are making your dream come true. But, what about other parts of student life? Parties? Clubs?"

You slightly bit your tongue.

Your university doesn't have clubs or any other means of after class activities. Well, there were few spots teams, but, you were never a sporty type. And you didn't like parties.

Outside the classes you were by yourself. Always by yourself.

forever by yourself

you could have chosen a different university. maybe, in your hometown? but you ran away.

you were an ungrateful brat, who were running away from responsibility...

Yosano put a hand on your shoulder.

"What I mean, [Y/N], I am... We are worried about you. Other students... A bunch of animals. They dared to harass you. To hurt you..."

She glared at the bloodied shard of glass in the trash can.

Yosano stay silent for a moment. Then spoke, carefully choosing next words.

"[Y/N]... I won't ask you why you were silent. I won't pry. But, if you want to talk... I can listen to you. We are friends, right?"

She looked worried about you. She looked kid. Honest. Like she really means, that she is your friend.

if only you could convince yourself about it

please... please don't give me hope... please... i... i am too blank... too stupid...

Your stomach rumbles. You and Yosano blinked, then Yosano's smile returned to her face.

"Sorry, you must have been too hungry to have a small talk right now. Let's go to the dining room."

Yosano took your undamaged hand and pull, making you follow her.

"Thank you for the help, Yosano." mumbled you.

you are an idiot. if you looked into the backpack, you would see the shard of glass. it's your fault for being injured. it's your fault for making Yosano, Ayatsuji, Flags and Mori worried...

"No problems. Thank you, Dear Dango."

You didn't see Yosano's face, but you can feel a smile in her voice.

"For what?" you didn't understand, why Yosano was thanking you.

"For being you. For being in my life. For being near. For being yourself. For having feelings. For having opinion. For having interest. And..." Yosano finally looked at you. "For existing and for being born."

Your face was on fire.

A big smile appeared on your face.

You weren't listening to a faint whispers of

she is lying, no one could be thankful for you, you are worthless

You were too happy right now.

The Beast if Insecurities left. For now.

Right now, at this moment...

You were happy. And you had confidence.

You have trust in Yosano's words.

Perhaps, the rest of the day won't be too bad.

[hopefull-mindset]

Finally understanding Beast Mori (as Asagiri intended)

Hello everyone, I am hoping you’ll be nice about me talking about Mori for two seconds and express my thoughts about such a guy like this. This isn’t going to be some fancy analysis picking apart stuff like I’d usually want to or even me addressing every trait he has because I definitely don’t go into everything. This is me finally being at peace with Mori’s humanity.

Before you say anything, I’d just like to share my own peace of comprehension. So if you were similarly confused the way I was, I think you’d appreciate this (Or if you’re looking for a different approach on Mori).

Im sure most of you have read the manga adaptation, so just to let you know, I am going to be using passages from the official Light Novel translation and if anyone needs it, I can send it to them!

For anyone who’s decided to read, hello! Nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ve all shared the same confusion when confronted with Beast Mori’s difference in personality and approach. Thoughts like “Why is he so much nicer?” Or “Why does he care much more about how kids are treated, when he himself has treated kids the same way he describes in the past?”

How could this person be the same guy who was Mori the Port Mafia Boss? The war veteran who used Yosano the way he did? So we came up with many idea of why he’s different to justify it, but here’s the thing: Mori is the same person he always was, this is a universe where everything is the same, but different where Dazai chooses to intervene.

After a few days, I was able to recognize it but I couldn’t hold myself to acknowledge it. It’s hard to see a man who represents the dark, the Port Mafia, to the Armed Detective Agency’s light. I couldn’t wrap my head that such a controlling, manipulative man could have humanity like the rest of the characters.

Why was this so hard for me to see? Well two reasons— the fandom and how the anime cuts down Mori’s emotions when adapting canon material. This happens to Dazai too, but people are much more willing to talk about it compared to Mori. Now the fandom really does love blaming everything on Mori and that’s not the most constructive thing to do when talking about abuse narratives. I can’t blame anyone for taking this route when it came to Mori because of Asagiri’s poorly thought out choice with him…. we all know what I’m talking about. Elise.

However, I need some of you to understand that abuse narratives are never as simple as “oh, it’s all this persons fault because they’re a horrible person, so [character] is resolved from any guilt or responsibility”. This not only dumbs down the situation and seriousness of it, by mischaracterizing the abuser, you’re also mischaracterizing the victim as well and what they’ve gone through. You’re putting their story in jeopardy.

Bungou Stray Dogs is a story about human beings, morality, and what it all means. Mori, and in turn Fukuzawa, are important to understand Bungou Stray Dogs because they are in two pinochle positions that start this discussion of Morality. I am baffled that a story like this, one that approaches these topics with so much appreciation for humanity and nuance, has a fandom that doesn’t want to talk about what it has to offer.

Asagiri’s poorly thought out writing decision of a joke is going to have lasting effects with how Mori is going to be approached forever and I see this, but I think the little girl jokes are the least important thing to talk about because they have as much impact as the Tanizaki siblings do. He’s also written to be not a good person either, so you can dislike him easily, but how many of these characters are traditionally good people? Kouyou, for example, is not a “good person” and emotionally abusive in example to how she treated Kyouka. That doesn’t stop people from liking her friendship with Chuuya and making content with her.

So this attitude toward Mori had me lost when it came to him because I could see how much thought Asagiri puts into writing him the same way he does with so many, but I’ve seen so many disregard his humanity that I had no way to express any of my thoughts to sort out what to think about through anyone else when faced with Beast Mori. Everyone was as lost I was, and the people that weren’t never explained it in a way I could break that barrier.

So what finally made me wrap my head around Mori? It was exactly one conversation I had with a friend and it wasn’t even about Beast Mori in particular, it was just about Mori and his poor humanity while navigating how to lead. Everything just clicked with that.

(Dazai, Chuuya, age Fifteen)

This right here is where Mori tells us what he thinks his position means after the struggling we visibly see him go through. Is it an inherently correct conclusion to make? No, but does it make sense as someone who’s a leader of a huge, dangerous underground criminal organization? Yes, it does.

We have no backstory on Mori, but his poor humanity is easy to explain when he’s been in positions that require him to disregard his own and everyone else’s humanity for years now. As someone who’s seen war up close and a physician, these jobs require him to take control of the other person. Well in his mind at least, he sees these jobs and chooses to the route that’s most efficient.

It’s never positioned to be for himself though, he doesn’t take glee in what he does for self serving purposes, it’s always for the country, the city, the organization. His thought process is never the power hungry yearning we see everyone mistake it for. It’s never that he wants it, it’s that he needs it for everything to go well.

That’s exactly how he treats Yosano because even though it’s creepy to base your abilities looks on a little girl, that doesn’t stop him from seeing her use before her age and humanity.

His clinical utilitarianism is his core trait but also most disliked one from what I can tell in the fandom, and people tend to misinterpret it to make the more non-favorable view of him. But again, he’s not supposed to be the greatest guy ever and you can understand where these traits started forming. And again, to paraphrase another’s words: he’s cunning, but not power hungry.

He’s also not disliked by his subordinates and actually respected, he respectively enjoys the company, but there’s a mixed answer to that and that it is… nobody is going to listen to you if you don’t treat them with decency. Why would you expect a tool to work if you break them? One of his earliest lessons he learned with Yosano and leadership.

(Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen)

For example, we all know this scene is manipulation. He’s baiting Chuuya with information while still treating the teenager with respect and enough honesty to form a bond. Chuuya is perfectly aware that he’s being used in the present and in the past, but he respects Mori as a leader objectively after his own considered failure and lack of control over the sheep, even if he didn’t consider himself one. I don’t think this honesty comes from nowhere because that quote, “only a Diamond can polish a Diamond”, came from Natsume in reference to himself and Fukuzawa.

He sees himself and Fukuzawa in Soukoku fondly, but I tend to rethink this quote time to time because at first it comes off as a quote about partnership and building off of each other’s good qualities to perfect their own, but the way Mori uses it here feels as though it’s positioned to mean that one of them comes out perfected and the other weared down. Pretty competitive if you think about it.

(Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST)

We’re finally at the part you’ve been waiting for guys! So what was my point for analyzing canonverse Mori? So as I said before, these are the exact same guy and all that word jumble? That was an extended version of what was communicated with me to finally get what was going on with Mori in this universe and why he’s suddenly in an orphanage.

Now I couldn’t tell what was going through Beast Dazai’s mind and where this decision came from instead of actually killing him like the rumor’s implied, but I can come close. I think that Beast Dazai recognized this potential of change either from the multitude of universes he was able to witness or recognized it in his own considering canonverse Dazai never does anything against Mori (even if he visibly dislikes him).

Possibility is one thing, the why is another. It was either that he saw potential and good that could come out of this in the long run, Mori’s intelligence and expertise still proves usefulness, less dangerous for Oda in the long run if he let Mori stay there instead of the Mafia, or all three.

I can say for sure though that this is better for Mori because after the years of being in atmospheres that require so much of him intelligently and exempt of any emotion involved for the sake of efficiency, being able to rekindle his humanity where nothing is expected of him except to raise kids in a non-exploitative context sounds really freeing to me. Considering he’s been there for 4 years, I find the development understandable.

Okay I’m hearing what you guys are saying again, “What about him saying he wanted to save Dazai? That doesn’t seem like typical Mori.” And I’m gonna say something really controversial: Well maybe he did.

Really though, I think he did care about Dazai and not because he saw a child struggling (think about Yosano and Q for 3 seconds), but because he saw himself in Dazai, which ultimately changed way more about their relationship than you guys think. There’s a lot of comparisons to Yosano and I understand where they come from because I think there’s a lot you can see similarities in, but Dazai is not purely a tool for Mori the way she was.

The avoidance of letting him die do come from his use and overall importance to the original plan of becoming the new boss, but I don’t think he would’ve left Dazai alone like that for 4 whole years after leaving the mafia if he didn’t care in some way way. What strikes me the most is how Asagiri decided to add “the man who raised Dazai”.

For Beast Mori, I think he’s had enough time to actually feel guilt and regret for Dazai as a person like a normal human being does. Oh I guess Elise is important too. Her aging up just meant that Mori has become less controlling and not like the little girl who he literally sees as a tool since kids are easier to manipulate. Can’t bring that energy to an orphanage, nope!

There’s better stuff out there about Mori that I think if you’re more open to thinking about Mori after this, you should check it out, these are just my thoughts recently. To end this off, here are two links to Asagiri’s own thoughts on Mori.

[starlightshadowsworld]

What do you think of the Mori is Atsushi’s dad theory? At this point it’s unlikely to be canon but I’d still love to hear your thoughts on it

I don’t believe in it personally.

I have always believed that Atsushi knows who he is parents are. During the Guild arc when Fitzgerald brings up his parents, how they treated him worse than the Headmaster.

I always took Atsushi’s silent terror to be him reminiscing about what this abuse was. That he knows what his parents did to him.

And thus knows who they are.

If you go by that belief then this theory doesn’t hold up. Mori and Atsushi met in Anne’s Room during the beginning of the Guild arc. And Atsushi doesn’t recognise or know who Mori is.

Also, I don’t see Mori abandoning his own child. Mori isn’t someone who throws away his pieces. Dazai and Yosano left and Mori still considers them pieces on his board.

I don’t see him throwing away a potential piece in a bin to ignore for potentially more than a decade. At the very least, he’d keep tabs on him. And the second Atsushi’s ability was revealed Mori would’ve swooped in to bring him home.

In the early years, Mori wanted to build an army of soldiers that couldn’t be killed and would keep fighting and protecting this city.

Atsushi would’ve been the perfect subject for that because the tiger can negate wounds. There’s no way Mori would’ve passed up that opportunity.

The only way I can envision this situation is if Mori left Atsushi when he went to war. Atsushi would’ve been 4 when the war began and the earliest we see him at the orphanage with an age given, is 11 years old.

It still doesn’t make sense to me for Mori to do that.

But even if he did and didn’t keep an eye on Atsushi or know about his ability. Mori would still know his name and what he looks like. He would hear Akutugawa’s report that the weretiger was an ability user and recognise that this is his son.

He wouldn’t have send Akutagawa to capture him and ship him to the Guild. There’s no way Mori would give up his very powerful son up to another organisation. Mori would want Atsushi to be returned to him.

And if for whatever reason he went the Dazai route about it. Aka give Atsushi a choice to join him. He would try to earn his trust and wouldn’t do things like sending Q to attack him.

Also if Mori told anyone about it I’m pretty sure his executives would be in the know. Chuuya would’ve gone back to the government building to have Atsushi rescued once he noticed he was absent.

And even if Dazai wasn’t told I’m pretty sure he would’ve figured it out. He may not have told Atsushi to protect him, but he would’ve warned him to stay clear of Mori.

I feel any Mori as a father figure to Atsushi stuff would be as a parallel to Beast Mori. Seeing as he became a father figure to Atsushi. But as for being Atsushi’s real dad, I don’t buy it.

No hate to anyone who likes or agrees with this theory BTW. This is just my thoughts on it. I think it’s an interesting idea but not one I can see actually playing out in canon.

[lanterns-and-lightmares]

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(RP Blogs under the cut)

RP BLOGS

@no-longer-crabfries - Osamu Dazai (BSD)

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@port-mafias-attack-dog - Ryuunosuke Akutagawa (BSD)

@notag0vagent - Ango Sakaguchi (BSD)

@karma-port-mafia - Karma (BSD)

@egg-with-shell - Tecchou Suehiro (BSD)

@hermit-hacker - Katai Tayama (BSD)

@twains-digital-adventure-diary - Mark Twain (BSD)

[bsd-fan]

Soukoku and the mafia

After a million years, I’m finally back with an analysis. I’ve already kind of analyzed Dazai and Chuuya as individual characters but I purposefully left behind something that was fundamental for both of their characterizations and that played a big role in molding their actual personalities. Yes, I’m talking about the environment they grew up in: The mafia.

Because the length and the complexity of the topic, I decided to make an entire post just about this. Obviously there will be spoilers of the anime, manga and light novels so be aware of that.

*Also a friendly reminder that english is not my native language, so I apologize if there’s any grammar or ortographic mistake or if something is worded in a weird way, I just hope is not bad enough that you can’t make sense of it at all. This is also extremely self indulgent and extremely long.

I’m gonna start by establishing the main premise of this analysis and the idea I will be defending in the next parragraphs:

The mafia is literally the worst place for skk to be in (and yes, I’m talking about BOTH of them)

Now this is a bold sentence because the immediate response would probably be something among the lines of “well duh, the mafia is a horrible place for everyone” and yes but also no. The mafia affects soukoku in a special way that is vastly different to how it affects the other characters in the mafia.

I’ve found that the mafia is one of the most misunderstood points in the series (Cycle of abuse, I’m looking at you) so I’m gonna talk about it. Back in chuuya’ analysis, I talked about how he shouldn’t be in the mafia. I wasn’t talking about this in terms of “Chuuya is majorly speaking a good person” and “The mafia is a morally bad place”, that’s pure bullshit and certainly not what I was referring to.

When the fandom talks about the mafia there are two major points of view. Either they saw it as hell incarnate or they see it as the “bad” protectors of the city, kind of a twisted family. And while both of this opinions are not /completely/ wrong, they’re also NOT right. Once again, the problem is that the fandom /still/ insists on assigning a moral category to something that is far more complicated than that. Yes, it’s the mafia, it’s literally a place of crime, it’s /obvious/ they’re gonna do morally bad things but they are also an important part in the tripartite framework and a major reason of why the city is still standing, this are not mutually exclusive. And that’s because the mafia is not a morally oriented organization.

The next biggest mistake when it comes to this topic is thinking of Mori and the Mafia as synonyms. People loves to blame Mori for every single thing that happens, there is always an entire section of comments that always claim “Normalize blaming Mori for everything” and that’s just /plainly/ wrong. I need you to understand that the mafia existed before Mori and will exist after Mori and it still will require of a leader that have certain type of characteristics. The reason Mori is the perfect leader for this organization is because he perfectly represents the mafia ideology NOT the opposite. Is Mori who adapts himself to the mafia, not the mafia adapting to him. Obviously he is in charge and he gets to influence and dictate the actions of the organization, the same way the old boss did (and he made a shit hole out of it) but the mafia as it core exists as a concept that can not be altered not matter who is in charge of it. And that’s what we have to understand.

Let’s start by defining it:

“An economic body that uses violence as it’s currency” -Mori

And that’s it, that’s the first and most important thing you gotta understand about the mafia. It’s not about bad people doing bad things for the sake of it. It’s not about morally grey people saving the city because of the good in their hearts. The mafia as it core is about money, is about benefits, is about gaining the most. It’s an economic body.

They will kill, kidnap and torture? Yes but they won’t do it because they’re bad, they will do it only if there’s something to gain out of it. They save the city and stop the other criminal groups? Yes, but it’s not because they are secretly good people. It’s to maintain the monopoly of the crime in the city and protect their territory where they have all the money and where they do their negotiations. There /are/ people in the mafia who genuinely care about the city like Mori, Chuuya, Tachihara or Hirotsu, I don’t doubt there are other people as well who cares about it but those are personal motivations that have absolutely nothing to do with the mafia as an institution. Because the mafia as it’s own entity only cares about the gains and losses.

So when we talk about the main difference between the Mafia and the ADA is not about morality. Both organizations are full of morally grey people, both of this organizations are ready to do criminal activities if required. The main difference is the objectives behind them. The ADA is a organization of people for people.

“There is no agency more valuable than human life”- fukuzawa about the ADA, first light novel

The ADA is about doing their best to help people, is about prioritizing human life above everything else. And when they do criminal acts? It’s because it was the only way to preserve as many lives as possible.

The mafia on the other hand is about gaining money and resources and it’s about securing the survival of it as as Institution doing whatever is necessary to achieve it.

“These magical stones always led to violence and bloodshed, and the only thing that could stop this violence and maintain a stable system was even more violence”— Chuuya, stormbringer.

In the last chapters we realize that even though the ADA as an organization technically doesn’t exist anymore (because they were seen as a terrorist group) they still can perfectly exist as long as the members are alive. They can make another organization but they can’t just replace one of their members, that would be a critical hit for them. That’s abysmally different to how the mafia conduces itself. It doesn’t matter how many people die, they can be easily replaced but if the mafia as an institution falls? Then they lose everything. So this means, that the ADA will sacrifice the organization as many times as necessary if by doing it, they can protect it’s members meanwhile the mafia will sacrifice as many people as necessary if by doing it they assure the survival of the mafia as an institution. And this has been shown again and again and again. It’s because of this main objective that the mafia by definition and independently of Mori, needs to be: Extremely Rational, utilitarian and deeply Machiavellian because if not, then it wouldn’t be able to survive. The mafia as an institution requires someone who will put the needs of the organization over personal feelings and even over the members of the institution if that’s the best option..

And that’s why Mori is the perfect leader of the organization, because he is the textbook ideal of what a Mafia boss should be. Mori is not known for being the cruelest or the evilest. He is known for being the most logical, not matter what. For always being cold and rational.

“Dazai, Do you know why I’m the boss? (…) I don’t posess an incredible skill like you or chuuya. Instead, however, I am a little better at something than the two of you. I can always predict exactly how many men I need to send into battle”- Mori, stormbringer.

To illustrate this better let’s talk about the death of the old boss and Odasaku.

First thing to understand is that people is not stupid, they always /knew/ that Mori killed the old boss. For fuck’s sake even the sheep who were a group of literal /kids/ that weren’t even part of the mafia knew that there was no way that the old boss died of naturally causes and casually left the mafia to Mori who coincidentally happened to be his doctor. They all knew but they are collectively playing pretend. Why? Because they recognize that Mori is the best option, because they know that Mori won’t sacrifice them without reason, he won’t ask them to do useless things. Every single action that Mori takes is for the benefit of the organization, is logical and can be defended using rational arguments and when he decides to sacrifice someone there’s also a reason behind it. And that’s the best option possible for a place like the Mafia. The mafiosos chose him because of it, but make no mistakes, if the time comes where Mori is more a liability than an asset then someone will most likely kill him and take his place exactly the way he did. That’s the way of the mafia. Just like Mori says, even in the top, everyone’s is a slave of the organization including himself.

Odasaku’s death was carefully planned and I’m not denying that there were personal reasons there, I’m not denying that part of it was to specifically aim to Dazai, being as part of training him to become the next boss of out of fear of Dazai killing him, Mori did this move knowing that Dazai was gonna be affected by it. But as much as all of you would hate to listen to it, it was also the most logical course of action. Just stop to think about it. You have this incredibly powerful asset, someone who is extremely competent, someone who is insanely strong but you can’t use him because he refuses to do any important task, he refuses to kill. He is basically wasted talent. But then there’s an opportunity to gain something extremely valuable (the ability’s permission) and you just have to eliminate one powerful group of people and hey, your liability happens to be the /perfect/ person for the job, so what do you do? What Mori did may be horrible but also was a genius move. He destroyed an entire organization while sacrificing one single person who was useless to him anyway. He gained something that was vital for the organization with basically no losses. Yes, he sacrificed the children and that’s fucking sick and horrible but they weren’t his responsibility, the organization was. The kids weren’t part of the organization, sacrificing them doesn’t translate to any significant losses to the mafia. That’s why Dazai is so frustrated by the end, because he lost his best friend, he is suffering but he can’t deny that Mori was logical about it, he can’t deny that that was rational. Even in beast there’s this whole part explaining how difficult it was to defeat mimic without oda, do you know what does that mean? Dazai probably sacrificed a large number of people to do it and even if he didn’t why would you as the Leander of the organization would take the most difficult path when there’s other that is far easier and cheaper? And just like that, every single one of Mori’s actions can be explained with a logical process behind it.

I feel like the biggest argument to understand that even though Mori represents the Mafia ideals, the mafia is still an independent organization of Mori is Beast. He is not the mafia boss in beast but the mafia basically remains exactly the same organization, akutagawa is not suffering but Atsushi is. People are suffering exactly the same, the only different thing is /who/are the ones suffering. Sure, someone can argument that Dazai was not trying to be the best leader, just to save Odasaku but the whole point is that generally speaking he had to make enough of a decent job to maintain the order in the city. Under Dazai’s command the mafia was more powerful than they were with Mori in charge. And it’s horrible, but that’s the only way to rule it. Otherwise the whole organization would fall apart. So to summarize the horrible environment of the mafia is NOT because of mori. We already saw the mafia in charge of the old boss, of Mori and of Dazai and the environment is kind of the same with slightly worse or better differences and that’s because again there are parts of the mafia that can’t be altered independently of who is in charge.

“A leader is simultaneously at the top of the organization and still a slave to it as a whole. You need to be willing to get your hands dirty to keep the organization afloat and thriving. A leader develops their subordinates and places them wherever they best fit and disposed of them if necessary. I will gladly perform the most heinous acts for the sake of this organization. That’s what it means to be a leader”- Mori, fifteen

Mori is far from perfect, he is horrible and sick and also have lots of personal interests, he also uses the organization to a certain degree to achieve them. But this is not fake. He will put the organization over everything else. That’s what it means to be the boss of the mafia.

So now that we got that out of the way and we learn to differentiate Mori from the mafia and we now understand that the mafia is not a moral organization but an economic body, we can start explaining why the mafia is such a terrible place for Dazai and Chuuya especifically. Let’s start with Dazai. We already discussed it but for the mafia to accomplish it’s main objective it needs to have certain characteristics.

Rational

Utilitarian

Machiavellian

Do this words remind you of someone?

“Your blood is mafia black”

Have you ever wondered why even though chuuya is the one with the greatest body count, Dazai is the one that always seems to be like the worse of them? Why Dazai is the first one to come to mind when they talk about the next mafia boss?

It’s because just like Mori he perfectly embodies the ideals of the mafia as an institution. He is brilliant, kind of apathetic, cold, rational, manipulative and he is naturally an utilitarian (philosophy that believes that the best action is the one that produces happiness to the most people) and Machiavellian (ideology that puts one’s goals over everything else, discarding the moral consequences and the ethics qualifications) this can be summarized to one simply sentence: Dazai is the type of person who is result oriented, it doesn’t matter the means, just the final result and that’s exactly the kind of ideology that the mafia needs to exist. And that’s just part of his natural personality.

So why the mafia is such a bad place for him if it seems like it’s the most natural place for him to be?

If this is the first thing that came to your mind:

Then you’re wrong and I’m here to spit in this idea of cycle of abuse.

Okay so first of all, people refer to “cycle of abuse” to the wrong thing. You’re actually referring to intergenerational abuse and even more than that you are all thinking about the /individualized/ abuse of one person to other than then replicates the same thing in someone else. Thing is, if we make this cycle we will arrive to Mori and I just wrote half a bible of why this is factually incorrect, so don’t make me say it again. Then, there’s the second biggest issue here, this is /incredibly/ reductionist. There /are/ parallelisms in this relationships, yes. But I need you to understand that even though they were indeed abused to a certain degree, they are all part of the mafia which is an abusive place to begin with and by definition. There was no way for them to not suffer this and they weren’t the only ones, everyone in the mafia was abused one way or another and it came from different places not just one specific person . Now let me start with the thing that bugs me the most of this cycle.

It obligates me to defend Mori

See, I can perfectly understand Dazai and Akutagawa being here because even though Aku was manipulated and used for more people in the mafia than just Dazai is a fact that he was the main abuser. It’s true that is was a target abuse and that was repetitive and degrading every single time. Akutagawa is now basically a glorified Pavlovian experiment thanks to Dazai. Yes, Dazai cares for him, yes Dazai actually was trying to teach him and to make him stronger. The intention here is secondary, akutagawa still ended up deeply traumatized and with a pathological need of recognition to survive.

Now akutagawa and kyouka? This one is more questionable because we know that Kouyou and Akutagawa had kind of a twisted version of shared custody when it came to her. So kyouka was abused for more than one person and not necessarily in an intergenerational abuse so the cycle is no longer a cycle right? But okay let’s go with it. We have actual canon proof that akutagawa abused her replicating Dazai’s methods with him so it can still qualify.

But Dazai and Mori? WHERE?

In all the story there’s no proof that Dazai was abused in this way by Mori.

It simply doesn’t exist, it’s just a headcanon that became so popular that everyone started to believe it. Yes, Mori exposed Dazai to a murder when he was fourteen and that’s a form of abuse, true. But have you noticed that most of the mafiosos got into the mafia when they were teenagers or even literal kids (Q was six, gin was also younger than Dazai) they were ALL exposed to this form of abuse. This doesn’t make it okay, of course but it’s not the kind of individualized abuse that you all love to talk about. “He manipulated him” true, he also manipulated oda, Ango, Chuuya, Q, etc. Again it certainly wasn’t personal or out of place for a mafia boss. And again IT’S NOT A CYCLE. We also have absolutely no evidence of Mori being physically or sexually abusive towards Dazai. He psychologically abused of him? Yes but once again there’s no evidence of it being worse than it was with other people. It’s plausible of course, because Dazai worked directly under him but for the most part it doesn’t seem like he was specifically horrible towards Dazai. You want to talk about Mori being horrible with someone? At least choose the right person because yosano is right there. Dazai had most of this personality traits before meeting Mori, so it’s not like Dazai was a perfectly sane and happy kid that would’ve been normal of he was picked up by a good person, he was not ranpo or yosano. Let’s also add that Dazai seemed to be incredibly desensitized to violence even at fourteen. We can’t blame Mori for his character traits but we can certainly blame him because he made them worse.

So if not for this, then why Dazai shouldn’t be in the mafia? Is not for the abuse, is not for the moral implications, then why?

Easy, the real reason it’s because of Dazai’s core as character. Dazai doesn’t care for the mafia, he doesn’t care for power and even though he naturally seeks the benefits out of every situation that also is not his core as a character. His core is and always be: Humanity. That’s what Dazai is looking for, that’s his nucleus as a character and that’s the reason the mafia is the worst place Dazai can be in, regardless of his abilities.

Dazai gets into the mafia trying to find a reason to live, trying to understand humanity so that would make him close to his own and it really seemed like the perfect plan, it was logical. The mafia certainly is a place where death is part of life, emotions are raw and most often than not genuine. Then why It didn’t work? Why his mental stake kept deteriorating more and more? Because it took him farther away from his humanity. I’ve said it before but the reason Dazai felt inhuman is because of a permanent sense of alienation and isolation. Dazai already has certain characteristics that make it harder for him to establish emotional bonds with people. His brain also moves faster than everyone’s else’s, so for him is so /easy/ to stop looking people as individuals and look at them as pieces to use and discard. The mafia is the worst place for him to be because it enhance this characteristics, the mafia impulses him to use them because that makes him the best asset but that also makes him incredibly miserable because it worsens the alienation thus increasing the deshumanization. Also the mafia makes him intellectualize as a coping mechanism which worsens his self awareness that to begin with is pretty poor. That’s not all, because of the nature of the mafia Dazai who already has trust issues ends up even worse so it isolates him even more. The only moments he seems to be closer to his humanity is with people like chuuya or Oda, and the hilarious thing about it is that they both are basically the opposite of what the mafia represents. More than that, Chuuya actually obligates him to go back to earth and start acting less as a god and more as a human being.

Which also explains why the ADA is better for Dazai than the mafia. Is not because of morality, is because is an organization that revolves around people so it obligates him to interact and create relationships with people, and even if they’re not 100% honest. It still decrease his alienation and isolation and being him closer to his humanity. That’s the reason the ADA is the best place for him.

Similarly but in a completely different way there’s chuuya, except that he is a thousand times more tragic than Dazai and every time I stop to think about him I want to sob, scream, throw up.

Dazai has the characteristics to be the perfect mafioso but his nucleus make it impossible for him to be one. Chuuya doesn’t have the characteristics to be a mafioso and also has the same nucleus as Dazai.

So the premise is: The mafia and chuuya are irreconciliable ideas and it’s a miracle that it’s still working.

We already went through everything that the mafia represents, we already know that by /definition/ the mafia is a place where you have to deshumanize other people and yourself in order to survive. It’s not a surprise that is the WORSE place in the world for the two people whose whole characterizations revolves around humanity.

But in chuuya’s case, his whole personality and ideological system directly clash with the mafia. Is fucking tragic. Let me remind you that chuuya gain his whole sense of humanity and identity out of the relationships he makes with people. Chuuya /cares/ for people, that’s just the kind of person he is. You CAN’T ask him to start viewing this people that are /everything/ to him just like chess pieces that can be sacrificed at any moment. That would be the equivalent of spitting in his sense of humanity, to take away his reason to live and his identity. That would completely break him. So chuuya keeps making bonds with people and suffering Every. Single. Loss. Because the mafia is a place of sacrifice and he can’t stop it not matter how hard he tries. And that it’s also devastating in a whole new way.

“His eyes were tainted with Darkness just like everyone in the mafia. It was a murky darkness-one that viewed human lives as mere numbers”- about Arthur, fifteen

This is the mafia, this is the mindset needed to be there. This is also precisely the opposite of everything that chuuya is. Chuuya survives because he can’t view human as numbers. People are the most precious thing in the world for him.

This is chuuya Nakahara:

You value your friendships and make decisions accordingly. I suppose you could call this human nature- Adam, stormbringer

Chuuya is in a place where people die and no one cares, because they were simply numbers, because they don’t exist as individuals not really.

“Countless people died, but the incident hardly remained in anyone’s memory”- stormbringer

The flags died and no one aside from him cared, after that he made new friends that were also killed in the same fucking year and once again nobody stopped, just him. The mafia just replaced them and acted like it was nothing. And meanwhile:

“-Chuuya you smell like incense. Did you go visiting those graves again?- shirase about chuuya, stormbringer

Chuuya keeps visiting those graves because even when no one remembers them, he does, because they were his friends, they were individuals. Hell, leave alone his friends, Chuuya fucking goes to talk to Arthur’s grave. That’s the type of person he is

Chuuya is emotional, he is straightforward, he is honest, he /cares/. Chuuya’s so opposite to the mafia ideals that it would be funny if it didn’t make me want to eat glass. In order to be in this organization he has to go against his personality, against his values and against his moral code. Do you have an idea of how tiring that is? Of how much that affects him? Even if he refuses to notice? So chuuya solved his conflict, he found his humanity but he did it in a place that constantly tries to take it away from him.

Now, how has he survived this long then? Because he has developed coping mechanisms but this only slow his downfall. It won’t stop it.

His first coping mechanism is one that I find /incredibly/ interesting. And I’ve never seen anyone talking about it: Selective deshumanization

This existed before the mafia but Chuuya made it stronger after becoming a mafioso. I’ve said it before, even though chuuya has so many hero like characteristics the reason he is a morally grey character is that he chooses. He decides that certain people are more important than others, he knows that he can’t protect everyone, he knows that in order to protect his people, he will have to sacrifice other people. So chuuya deshumanize that group of people as a defense mechanism, he needs to stop himself from looking at them as individuals. If you want examples of it, there’s Dazai, Randou, Addam and Verlaine. At first I really thought that it was a coincidence but it happens enough to be an identificable pattern. When skk met, Dazai got obsessed really fast, chuuya didn’t. Chuuya tried to keep his distance as much as possible because he knew that Dazai was an enemy. He didn’t make personal questions even though it was obvious that he found Dazai’s behavior weird, he refused as much as possible to give him personal information and more subtle but more important, Chuuya absolutely refused to call him by his name. He used lots of insults but never his name even when it was clear that he knew it, that was him trying to keep as much emotional distance as possible. And the moment he used it? It was over for him, because from there it doesn’t matter how much he tried he could never stop himself from looking at Dazai as a human being, worse than that, he ended up understanding him even against his wishes. Same happened with Arthur, he was just another crazy man obsessed with Arahabaki but the moment he talked about Verlaine? About how he was doing everything for his friend? He became a real person, he could identify with. Addam? Was just a bothersome machine, he also refused to call him by his name but by the end of it chuuya was using corruption because he considered Addam a friend that he loved regardless of his origin. Verlaine fucking ruined his life and killed the most important people in his life but once chuuya understood his reasons and his past, he empathized with him and defended that he indeed was a human being at the end of the day. What I’m trying to say is that chuuya tries to keep his emotional distance by deshumanizing people but he kinda fails. A LOT.

The second one is the anger. Chuuya can’t express his emotions easily, a lot of it came from the fact that he always had to be the strongest so it was impossible for him to express vulnerability and then he went into the mafia and if there’s a bad place to be vulnerable, this is it. Chuuya deals with every strong emotion transforming it into anger because that’s an emotional he can control. The devastating thing is that It doesn’t only apply for bad emotions, even when he is happy or grateful he feels like he can’t express it and that makes me want to jump from a very tall something.

The third one is evasion. I find this particularly funny because in almost every fanfic Dazai is the one that evades his feelings and just decides to stop thinking about certain stuff when in canon the one that does that is chuuya. Dazai intellectualize as a way of dealing with feelings because he doesn’t know how to process them, and he overthinks a lot because he can’t stop himself from doing it. That is why his brain is his worse enemy. Chuuya, on the other hand, just evades. He supress all the emotions that he can’t exteriorize as anger, he supress his worst fears and his biggest insecurities, he put all of it into a mental box and throws away the key. But they are still pretty much there, lurking in the dark. Most of his “instinctual” actions are in reality guided by all of this things that he is trying so hard to hide.

And the last one? Is probably the worse one. We already establish that Chuuya can’t deshumanize the people in his group so he tries so absurdly /hard/ to protect them. He is always ready to sacrifice himself if by doing it he can save the people he loves, he carries too much, so the rest won’t have to do it, he takes the worse jobs, he is in the front lines, he is always ALWAYS the one to be hurt first. It may seem different but he is basically in the same situation as he was with the sheep. Except that now is not his people that are asking for his sacrifice, now he is doing it himself. Because he knows that the people he loves can be stolen from him in any moment, so he over compensates by doing everything he can to avoid it.

“The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it”- Dazai, Dark era.

Not in the same way, never in the same way because that would be sacrificing his humanity but chuuya’s thought process is not that different from Dazai. He doesn’t avoid relationships, though, he does everything in his power to avoid losing them JUST LIKE DAZAI DOES. Dazai knows that he can’t control everything, he knows that the world is absurd and full of irregularities but it’s terrifying to live in this kind of world, so he tries to predict everything, he tries to be three steps ahead of everyone else even if that make him feel less of a human being, because maybe then he can make a difference, maybe then he can protect what he has. Chuuya does basically the same thing, in order to protect his people, he will be the strongest, he won’t fall, he won’t ask for help, he will be the one carrying everything. Do you have an idea of how lonesome that is? To know that you can’t depend on anyone? Chuuya is a people’s person but he is so incredibly /lonely/. He can never be their equal because he is too busy trying to protect them. And this happens because the mafia is just like this, a place of sacrifices. A place of losses. It’s not a place for long lasting relationships.

At least two of this coping mechanisms lead him to deshumanization even when he tries his best to avoid precisely that. So chuuya basically lives in the worst dilemma in earth and this much contradiction will kill him one day.

The only reason he is still able to be there is because in his position as executive he had never been in a position in which he had to choose between his friends and the major benefit of the organization.

Chuuya as the next mafia boss? is laughable

The whole organization would crumble in DAYS. And that’s because chuuya goes against the single most important principle of the organization.

He is loyal to the people in the mafia, not to the organization

Chuuya will sacrifice the whole organization in a minute for its members, that’s literally the OPPOSITE of what the mafia stands by. He can’t sacrifice in cold blood a friend, he just can’t do it, that goes against everything that he is. He refused to sacrifice Adam even though at that moment that seemed like the only option to save the city and the mafia and he still REFUSED. Because he simply can’t sacrifice a friend. It’s impossible to him. Q is another good example of how much of a terrible leader chuuya would be. Believe it or not killing Yumeno was the opposite of what a proper mafioso should’ve done. There’s a reason Mori ordered to bring Q alive and that’s because rationally speaking yumeno is a weapon, killing him won’t bring back the people that already died and honestly speaking Q’s life is far more valuable than most of the mafiosos but for chuuya? It wasn’t the case, he couldn’t be rational because /his/ people died because of Q because for him was more important to prevent this from ever happening again than to use Q.

So to summarize chuuya is stuck, he can’t leave the mafia because that could be to go against his identity and sense of humanity but staying there is slowly killing him because it obligates him to go against everything he is and to be completely lonely in a place that is dead on deshumanization. So he basically lives in a state of pressure and constant stress while feeling trapped and saying to himself that he is where he should be. The ideal place for chuuya, funnily enough would be the ADA. And I’m not saying this for Dazai but because of the objectives of the ADA. A place that is oriented to people, a place that values relationships, a place that revolves around protection. It drives me mad everytime I think about how ridiculous ADA coded chuuya is only to be in the mafia.

Okay so basically that is the end of the rant, if you read all the way to here, congratulations and thank you for your time.

[sherylhooper]

BSD rant? (MANGA SPOILERS!!)

When will BSD fans stop babying Dazai? When will they finally understand that they are projecting themselves on him and don't really "kin" him? (Cuz if you kin Dazai, then ya'll should be in mental hospital).

When will they understand that Dazai is a nihilist person who doesn't care about life or death, good or evil? When will they realize that Mori didn't abuse him or experimented on him (where did that idea ever came from?)?

When will they learn that in BSD no one is good or evil? It's a place for morally grey characters!!

Kunikida and Ranpo were ready to let Atsushi die when he was kidnapped by Akutagawa. Tanizaki was very murder happy with killing Mori. Even Fukuzawa used to be an assassin!!

ADA Dazai is still PM Dazai cuz he doesn't care about anything else besides Oda's wish for him to be on the side that saves people (see how he doesn't say "be on the "good" side"?)

Oda himself said that for Dazai good or bad has same meaning, so why do these so-called fans and "kinnies" pretend that they know him better than Oda? As if Dazai won't kill someone in cold blood? He tried to drown Dostoyevskiy to win against him in latest chapters!

He doesn't hate the mafia, he hates Mori because Mori killed his friend!! That is a reason why he hates Mori.

"He left toxic and abused place" — Dazai is toxic and abusive himself. That toxic relationship between Dazai and Akutagawa and Akutagawa and Kyoka began with DAZAI, NOT MORI! (Unless Asagiri tells us it was Mori.) He didn't care about Akutagawa. No one went and forced Dazai to shoot or beat the shit out him. He did it on his own!

When will they stop babying him? As if Dazai would let anyone abuse or manipulate him, let alone his boss. He did what he did on his own.

It gets so annoying reading BSD fanfics cuz most of writers have him written "sad uwu boy who didn't want to be in Mafia but because he was abused, experimented (simetimes even SA'd) by Mori, he finally left the toxic space, hates Mafia and really wants to be a good person" 🙄

Do they even understand that all these are just "headcannons"? To them if you even say that you like Mori, you are a p*do excuser and abuser lover? Like, do these people even know how to think???

None of whatever they have deluded themselves with is Canon! Dazai is in ADA because of Odasaku. Mori isn't a p*do cuz Asagiri hasn't confirmed anything. Chuuya isn't a feminine uwu boy who can't function without Dazai and Mafia is actually very important to Yokohama.

"Mori doesn't deserve Elise" — Elise is Mori!! She is like Demon Snow and Golden Demon. She doesn't even have a personality unless Mori gives her one. She doesn't have feelings on her own. She isn't a human being.

"Mori said she was his wife" — well she is a part of Mori, so he can call her whatever he wants. Mori probably had her since he was a child. I wouldn't be surprised if he were to love her 🤷‍♀️

"The name of his ability is sus" — well, if they had read real life Mori's book "Vita Sexualis" they would have realized that the book is about a man who has very low s*x drive, probably an asexual — there, a simple answer. So, no we don't know anything about how his ability works and wiki page that says Vita Sexualis is projecting his own sexual wants on Elise isn't canon!

"He said he like his women below 12" — yeah, as a joke, both with Kouyou and Fukuzawa. Elise calling him a "lolicon" is Mori calling himself a "lolicon". Elise hating Mori is also self hatred 🤷‍♀️ Because, once again, Elise doesn't have a personality on her own, do we even know if she can think on her own? BEAST and Yosano’s past kinda raise this question.

They can hate him for what he did to Yosano but if my country was in a war, I, probably, would do the same if someone had that ability. It's one person versus a whole country. It's called necesasry evil.

BSD fans have to realize that what they want to sell as canon is just a headcanon, not everyone has same headcanons and that they are reading a Seinen not Shounen.

[christian-oc-tournament]

OC propaganda for Adrian Mori (and a little bit of Clair): "Avid Arcane Scientist"

Adrian provided a lovely list of reasons to vote for him, but Clair had other ideas...

--------------

I am the very model of an avid arcane scientist

A pioneer of alchemy and cutting edge geneticist

I’m proud to say among my peers I soar and rank the very best

Though the government provides my funds, will not be an elitist

knowledge is power for those in need and of that truth I must insist  

The betterment of all our kinds is of the utmost importance

I’ve studied the chimeras from the griffons to the lycanthropes 

I’m proud to say, in me is where my nation chose to place their hope 

I also am a member of a secret society

Releasing information of the sciences varieties

To help the laymen actualize the knowledge of a specialist

I am the very model of an avid arcane scientist!

Is that so? well…

The truth is he’s a liar and a criminal that just got loose

The world has been in chaos since the day that he escaped the noose

All of his projects are unethical and nothing but abuse

The lycanthropes that did him in would never accept any truce 

To our dismay he’s still alive, for reasons that we can’t deduce.

The kingdom keeps him hidden both to save face and for their own use

such palpable apathy, only inanimates could care less.

About the value of your life, morality, and all the rest

He’s written many papers both disputed and irrelevant

He claims to be a genius but he’s really overselling it

He’s tortuous and vile but at least he’s not a plagiarist

He is the very model of an unwell undead scientist!

The crux of what she says is true, though greatly she exaggerates 

The lycanthropes did kill me but the rest is what she fabricates

My execution was unjust, I think you can extrapolate

Death without trial is hardly proof that I’m some kind of reprobate

To tell you how it is I lived, my soul they can’t annihilate

The body’s just a vessel for a greater kind of living state

Death’s no hold on me you see, I’m now a god (to a degree)

A victory for my theories about acquired divinity

Though accusations come their way, I will remain past all their days

Despite of its necessity, I don’t intent to cause dismay 

The price of progress is some pain, you're lucky I'm an optimist!

I am the very model of an avid arcane scientist!

.

[sparkleboiswagger]

I need help crafting head canons and backstories for a BSD au I'm creating

I'm working on making head canons for a normal world no mafia no Ada or whatever au. For the most part I'm trying to take canon events and adapt them in a way where they could realistically happen, but for characters with more unknown or vague pasts I'm great for any HCs

Starting with Dazai, Dazai is not an orphan he was removed from his home by CPS when he was about 2. He was in the foster care system for a while, tossed around until he ended up in a home with Mori from ages 9-16. Mori was abusive, so Dazai ran away and lived in a shipping crate for a bit. Eventually he was taken in by Oda, who was a foster parent to mostly younger kids. He was there for 6 months but when he was out with Oda, Oda was killed in a mass shooting.

I know Dazai "improved" in canon after Oda died but I didn't give him a chance for this big long speech and there wasn't any reason for Oda to anyways, so Dazai completely spiraled after that. I have like a whole story written about that. But short things is his alcohol addiction got worse, he often spent days just not moving from Oda's grave and since you see him inject himself in season 5 and pop a pill in season 2, I have him experiment with drugs like fenty, shrooms, and heroin. Not addicted, just trying them out. Dazai is my most fleshed out in the au I'm creating, idk why.

Dazai bullies Akutagawa in school because of course he does.

Now for Chuuya I haven't finished stormbringer so my HCs for him might change. But.

He was also in foster care. I haven't fully fleshed out his life yet and I want some ways to integrate the sheep some how? But he entered the system when he was 8, I don't know why because I haven't finished storrmbringer. It varies from Verlaine killing his parents to them dying in a car crash so. Working on that. Verlaine went to a different home from Chuuya, he doesn't know him well he just hates him. I've been debating between having Kouyou be his sister or foster mother, but since I put Dazai with Mori I figured Chuuya could go with Kouyou and she'd just be a younger foster mom. I was also thinking I could find a way to make them in the same house? I really want the whole betrayal thing where Dazai leaves Chuuya and I thought it could be cool where Dazai left Chuuya in an abusive home to deal with it himself but I'm not sure, would it even make sense for him to have been with Mori?

Chuuya is in college, Dazai is struggling to get by. They still have their personalities obv so Dazai isn't like this sad mopey mess he's just a sad mess who mopes when he's alone and everyone doesn't really realize where he's at mentally

Mori has also fostered Yosano and Q, while having Elise as his bio daughter.

Atsushi and Lucy's backstories are basically the exact same as they are in canon

Akutagawa is homeless ofc, he just moves from place to place with his sister. His clothes are shit and he smells because he never showers so he isn't treated well at school. I'm tryna think if he'd go to college, also he's still got his terminal illness. I'm not sure how his need for Dazai's validation would come out in this au

Ranpo was adopted by Fukuzawa. His life was also basically the same. Yosano was also adopted by him.

I'm thinking Kunikida has a normal ass life with normal ass parents, just too much of an overachiever and on the verge of burnout but not allowing himself to burn out

Poe is rich. He was born rich, he's got money, that's all. I've got for him lol.

I'm trying to find ways to add the rest of the cast, I want to get all the characters in and get them lives and stuff made up.

If you have any suggestions to how I can expand this world I want to write fan fiction on it once I've fleshed it out a bit. Feel free to be like "actually no I dont like your idea, I think this would be better" because I'm open to any criticism on this, I just want it to be good and I'm not stuck on my ideas

[kingbyx]

The Snowfury

Im writing a bsd Httyd au, because I have an inescapable obsession with both series.

To summarize without many spoilers (incase I ever do finish any fic in the series instead of just planning to write them), ADA are dragon riders, they love dragons, dragons love them, basically the main riders from Httyd in RTTE. Their island is just covered in rescued dragons. PM are dragon hunters who, under Moris guidance, have learned to ‘tame’ dragons through fear and abuse. Chuuya is not in the PM, he’s off being awesome and thinking everybody he loved is dead you know how it is. Atsushi (since Chuuya is not the main charcter even if I love him in this au) is a guy, who, through a series of unfortunate events, ends up with the ADA. His dragon, his bestest friend (Named Byakko, after his ability), is a lightfury (and Akutagawa had a Nightfury names Rashomon of course)

The problem with this is that I have a bit of a problem with the Lightfury. Her concept was cool, and some fanart of her is so nice! But her canon animation was just, eh, and overall I feel like her design could have been better. Some parts just don’t make sense, and really I think they could have done the ´sleek, feminine Fury species that is similar but very different than the nightfury’ idea without having her look,,,, squished. And oddly fem for a DRAGON. I always thought she felt out of place in the world of HTTYD.

So, in my efforts to slightly change her design so I could have a lightfury in my au without using the full canon design, I got carried away and now here we are, I made an entire species, for some reason.

Allow me to explain.

Lore/General Info

The ‘Lightfury’, actually known as the ‘SnowFury’ by the groups that live around them. Though even they don’t see them much. ´Lightfury’ is a term used by cultures who do not naturally have these dragons, as they mistook them for ´daytime NightFurys’ instead of arctic dragons. The dragon eye lists them as SnowFurys, but as artwork of them was limited due to their stealth, few have made the connection between the ‘two species’.

Snowfury’s share a common ancestor with the Nightfury, but evolved in an entirely different environment. While NightFurys are known to prefer forested habitats, preferable near lakes, beaches, rivers, etc, Snowfurys are found only in the snowy wastelands far to the north and far to the south. Though they are now nearly extinct in the south, that is where they were originally named aswell, and no humans are known to inhabit the north.

Just like NightFurys, they are few and far between. In the south, hunted to near extinction (perhaps they truly are gone?) and no one knows if they live in the north. Perhaps they fled there, perhaps they all died in the journey across the ocean, perhaps they have existed there forever and we will never know. Perhaps we are wrong entirely, and they have simply become even better at hiding? Some have heard they can turn invisible, not just blend in, but truly invisible

This will be explained further in the design details, but Snowfurys are larger and bulkier than NightFurys, and though still one of the fastest dragons, they fall just slightly short of the Nightfury. They have a layer of not-quite-blubber, it keeps them warmer but isn’t quite as squishy or heavy, as they still need to be sleek to fly at such high speeds. They can swim in freezing water and walk through blizzards barely noticing the cold.

Their shiny white scales make them nearly impossible to make out within the snow and ice, during a blizzard they are even more deadly. They are known to dig burrows in snow, both as nests/dens and for hunting/stealth purposes.

Changes I made and why/ cool design element of the species

No blue/pink undertones, their stark white but slightly sparkly coulouring is an amazing camoflauge, they are deadly in the snow. Though I couldn’t portray it well (can you tell ive never edited something before and am not at all an artist?), similar to the NightFurys faint stripes, they have a faint rosette pattern, almost like a snow leopard.

Not sure how visible it is, but head is less squished. Proper muzzle for fishing! And carrying babies! All those good things!

Their tail fins do not split at the end, they are known to use it almost like a shovel at times

Their claws are longer thicker and sharper than a NightFurys, they use them to grip onto ice and climb mountains with minimal effort.

Their eyes range from various blues, light teals and pale purples, nothing too vibrant though, they have very pale eyes (while nightfurys have more vibrant eyes, in bright greens and yellows and organes, even red perhaps)

Again, they are bulkier and stronger. Sacrificing a tiny bit of speed for higher strength. Still the second fastest dragon though, just slightly behind NughtFury. This extra bulk not only keeps them warmer but allows them to power through blizzards and scale icy mountains without blinking, they can swim in freezing water without getting cold and walk through deep snow. I made the Snowfurys legs a bit propertionally thicker, aswell as their neck.

Still less ear nubs, but i added a third set. They are shorter but wider than Nightfurys, it’s cold!

Back fin is rufflier and there is a smaller one on head, I mostly just liked the look. The fins on legs and back/head/tail help with aerodynamics, and swimming. They are surprisingly durable, as they need to hold up against freezing temperatures and crazy wind.

More scale definition, though not as muh as a NightFury. They have thick protective scales, but retain a smoother look, not only are they better swimmers than NightFurys but it makes them even harder to spot against the smooth shiny snow.

I made the other two tail fins larger to match the main one

Other little bits

Female Snowfurys are larger than males, and male Snowfurys are about the same as Female Nightfurys if a bit larger and male night fury’s are smaller than female nightfury’s

They have all the same ability’s as Lightfurys, retractable teeth, plasma blast, invisibility, you get it.

You could just say the Lightfruys don’t exist in this au, and Snowfurys are an unique species, but they are still called Lightfurys in most places (Americas, Yokohama seas, United Kingdom’s, etc. Only the southern frozen islands (where Fyodor and Nikolai are from in this au btw) call them Snowfurys, but they found them first so it’s the ‘true name’. It is also what’s in the dragon eye.

Do canon Lightfurys exist? Maybe, how am I supposed to know?

They swim very well as I think I mentioned, better than Nightfurys but not quite like a true tidal class dragon. They eat a lot of fish like Nightfurys, though they will eat basically anything, this would have one day perhaps included humans, but any living ones are sure to avoid humans now

They’re basically cold proof, on land and in water. They can do it but aren’t usually fans of extreme heat, since they have a natural layer of fat (not quite blubber but close) meant to keep them warm. They get hot quick and retain that heat well, they have never been seen in a warm place, though who knows if they go there or not. You rarely see them anyways,

They basically have the same reputation as Nightfurys, but since they don’t live most places even more mysterious. Nobody really knows anything about either species, even the Dragon Eye has rather vague drawings, though it’s still more info than anywhere else. It’s believed that more detailed records exists, but either nobody has found those lenses or the information wasn’t put on a lense

I’ll probably make a more detailed ref sheet with wings (same as canon LF,smoother than Nightfurys and a bit shorter and broader) and eye colours and stuff someday

Pack orientated species, just like Nightfurys. Though adults almost always hunt alone for stealthyness, they always live in groups, it’s important. They are social!

No I will not tell you what is in the north, that is a SECRET! Yes it is awesome and plot relevant and angsty but fluffy at the same time and I will make my readers cry when I write it!

I Hope this was at least somewhat coherent, I’m tired but brain won’t sleep until it gets to share its thoughts.

Will i ever actually write this? Yes probably but like, I’m currently on my avian au, Ranpo bad things happen bingo (I’m on prompt 15/25 now, whoo!) and that unfinished SKK au I’m writing (it’s like, 10k and I’m not even at the main plot what am I doing?? It’s based on a one of my favorite movies ever and includes wolves and feral woods child Chuuya btw). Someday, I will write Httyd au, eventually.

Any ideas for rider dragons are lovely,,,, you know incase you want to. I have most but there’s a few that I’m just, aaaaaah

Goodnight

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hi! I just wanted to say I rly love your blog and your takes!! I don’t really considered myself someone who is particularly good at analysis or finding themes or anything, but one thing I’ve sort of maybe noticed w/ bsd (that idek if it’s intentional or if it’s just me or if it’s something people knew about already and I’m just insanely late to the party)

but I think there’s sort of an undercurrent about coping with the fact that your abuser actually taught you something good, (or at least tried to do something good for you) and dealing with the complicated feelings with that? Or at least coming to the realization that the people who hurt you were equally hurt (obviously ik the cycle of violence theme + the idea of grey morality are both talked about a lot in bsd) but I was thinking back to the reveal w/ the headmaster, with the whole port mafia mori -> dazai-> akutagawa -> kyouka(?) deal, and now with aya and her father? Like how do you exist knowing that someone made your life hell taught you something to save the life of someone else? Idk! This is insanely bare bones and superficial but I just wanted to get it off my chest because it feels like the first coherent thought I’ve had since ever lol! Hope you have a good day (and sorry this got so long)

Hello, thank you for your kind words, they warm my heart!!

I can see what you say, having to deal with the good abuse caused is definitely something bsd explores, more or less sensitively. It's embodied in the way Dazai says to Atsushi “you were in hell... And hell raised you right” after the orphanage director died. In ultimate analysis, it all leads back to bsd's grey morality view: nobody in bsd is entirely good or entirely bad, and that shows in how it's a series filled with good people doing bad things and evil people doing good things.

[sapphicneige]

Chapters: 11/? Words: 37936 Rating: M Main Relationship: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long Main Characters: Blake, Yang, Ruby, Weiss, Ilia, Sun, and all the other faves Other Tags: Alternate universe - modern, angst, past abuse, overcoming trauma, hurt/comfort, healing, slow burn, eventual smut

Summary: Blake is just a bartender. Yang is one of the most famous singers in the world. Through a series of mishaps, Yang ends up agreeing to perform at the bar that Blake works at.

Despite all their differences, they both recognise something in the other. But it's not like it could ever lead to anything… right?

This could potentially be the last update this fic gets, if you're curious, I've copied a lot of ramblings over from the notes on the fic and they'll be below:

Okay so... with this chapter releasing we have now overtaken where I ended up stopping writing this story well over a year ago now. I hinted that the notes at the beginning of this chapter will be long, but I actually think I'm going to break it up a little bit so the notes at the end of the chapter will probably contain more of what I wanted to say.

So, I should probably address the first question you might have. What does catching up mean for this story? Firstly, it will not be a weekly release anymore. I can't really say when new chapters will release, or if there even will be any more. I know when I started posting this, I didn't intend to continue past this chapter, however, the second half of this chapter didn't exist back then and, in writing it, I definitely regained some inspiration to continue this story. Currently, I definitely want to keep updating this story, but I currently can't promise how often I'll be able to update or how long I'll be able to keep it up. I think I've mentioned before, but my writing style has changed so much since I wrote this story, so that's also been difficult to wrap my head around as well. I'm going to ask for a little bit of feedback, but would it be okay if there was just a shift in writing style (no direct internal thoughts for Blake, more descriptions of stuff, etc)? Like would that be too much of a change or something? I'd really like to hear your feedback on things.

Okay, so... time to just let my heart out a little bit. Thank you to everyone who has read this far into the story. Especially if you left a comment. I don't know if you realise just how much this story means to me to actually have it posted. I wrote this at a time when I was lost, not really knowing what I was doing with my life or anything. It started simply as an idea, taking my love of the song end of a life by Calliope Mori, which was still new at the time, and combining it with inspiration from a few different fics that are still some of my favourite fics of all time. In particular, let you see my wilder side (if i can see your bones) by explosivesky and you're a mountain, full of glory by lescousinsdangereux. Both these stories heavily influenced this story in some way, be it through how I was even going to start the fic, to some of the premise, to just inspiring me and making me want to write. They're both way more popular than anything I've written, but if you've never read either of them, then please go check them out!

I remember, as I was writing this, I sort of found myself, remembered why I used to like writing and felt myself swept up in the story as I used to before the writing break that basically lasted a couple of years. I would not be where I am today without this story, and I wouldn't be writing today without this story. I think that's why I want to continue it so badly, there's just so much love that I have for this story and I wish to see it finished, even if it's definitely got inconsistencies across it, I wish I could just go back and rewrite so much, but I also feel it just... wouldn't work to actually rewrite most of it. Sure, I could just go back and update things to how I write now, but that wouldn't feel right to me. It would ruin the story for me and it wouldn't be what it is. That's why I'm a little unsure whether I'll be continuing it or just leaving it as is as well. It's just hard to really focus on what the right thing to do is.

I think I'll leave things here for now. I would really appreciate any comments that you feel like leaving. It's the best way to show support, give feedback, or do anything really.

[hopefull-mindset]

I’m incredibly exhausted from writing 8k+ words about abuse in BSD and still not done with it. I just would like BSD tumblr to know the absolute monster this is going to look like, which I’m probably going to post tomorrow. I’m going to finish today but tomorrow I can go over and re-edit some stuff without falling on my ass writing Kyouka’s section

The structure so far, in order is:

What is Abuse

Portrait of a father

The Port Mafia’s Environment

The Heartless Cur

RE: Portrait of a father (<- this is Beast Atsushi’s section)

The Man Who Raised Dazai

A Mother’s Love

I started writing this because I was getting frustrated with the restrictive discussion about the topic of abuse in this community, and the way the “Abuse Cycle” is discussed is quite shallow. The concept in general is very flawed to me, even if I understand the idea behind it.

The progression between Mori -> Dazai -> Akutagawa -> Kyouka has so little similarity besides two things in common.

First one is their talent for cruelty lurking inside them, and second seeing themselves in each other and having them join the mafia because of it. On this stance the abuse cycle is not the wrong term, you guys just have no idea what you’re taking about when it is discussed.

The “abuse cycle” is what keeps you in that negative state and not feeling like you have anywhere else to go except this awful environment that doesn’t keep you safe. That’s what makes it the abuse cycle and we should feel proud Kyouka left, but you guys talk about it as if it’s the actions towards the next victim that makes it the abuse cycle when I’ve just said none of their actions has barely (if any) similarities. Higuchi is part of the abuse cycle, Q and Kouyou is too. The mafia is the embodiment of this cycle.

You guys are also grossly overestimating how much Mori actually did to Dazai. As I said, action is not what makes it the abuse cycle. It’s not the same thing as Yosano in this area at all. Dazai’s mental state was definitely harmed by continuing to be in the Mafia, he was still just a child, and what Mori did was not right in the slightest, but none of what Dazai is like is actually Mori’s fault. It’s a tough answer and I will go over it in my post. if you think Dazai was abused under the qualifications that he was a child who was in an abusive, violent environment, the you also have to think about Chuuya and Beast Atsushi.

My answer to that is no, they were not abused by the Port Mafia and their childhood’s were already stripped away and we don’t have enough information to say they were abused there, but they were already abuse victims that were already conditioned enough for the mafia not having to do anything. The mentoring situations in the mafia don’t see abuse as abuse, just another way of teaching their subordinates.

Akutagawa would be the same… if I wasn’t for the fact Dazai’s actions were targeted to forcefully beat an intention into him that wasn’t already a product of the slums. It needs to be targeted at something in you to be abuse. Not to say you guys aren’t also overestimating how much of Dazai’s abuse made him who he was, a lot of it was just the slums, but I digress. I don’t need to explain everything I’ve already wrote down.

The only people I can confidently say were abuse victims of the port mafia are Kouyou, Kyouka, and Q. That’s quite literally it. We don’t know what happened to Dazai, Chuuya had N and his time as a sheep member, Atsushi had the Director, and Akutagawa had Dazai (does not count as the port mafia itself). Those three are the only ones I can trace back to the Port Mafia as their tormentor.

Why am I not saying Akutagawa is her abuser? Well we have nothing to confirm that, she was not trained by Akutagawa (that was Verlaine), and we have no specifics on their relationship besides him being the own to bring her into the port mafia because he was sent to. Sure he was the one behind the phone in that one mission, but he’s not the only who has access to it, Kouyou did too. If you really want to put into context her abuse at the hands of the port mafia, think of her as nothing more than a tool for them to pass around. There was nothing more to their relationship than what I’ve already said, I’ve checked numerous times in the manga.

As shown in Beast, she doesn’t need Akutagawa there for her to run away and she doesn’t need him there to be broken by the mafia. Anyway, that’s all I have to say rn. I’ll hold off other thoughts until that ultimate post, just know I’m not happy with most of you. Especially those who criticize the way Asagiri writes abuse, I think you guys are just unnerved by how actually realistic it is.

Thank you for the attention my Mori post got, I thought I’d get yelled at for it considering most of you can’t fathom he’s a character with thought behind him. Gods you act the same way with the director as well. I wouldn’t have normally done this, but I needed a break from the main post. I’m fearing it’s going to become a 10k word essay. I do say more there, don’t worry if I glossed over anything here.

[akinomorie]

Black Sea

Author: Technicolour (Lirriel)

Summary:

A series of vignettes focusing on Atsushi - picked up by Mori and trained from a young age to be used as a tool. He's used to shackles, but he begins to seek freedom after meeting Dazai, an orphan eager to die. Alternatively: What if Atsushi and Dazai had been raised in the other's circumstances?

Relationship: Dazai Osamu/Nakajima Atsushi (Dazatsu)

Review:

• I'm absolutely in love with this fic. I've been rereading this tons of times already, analysing every sentence and theorising on the untold stories behind the words carefully left vague. This oneshot has so much potential I feel so inspired 😳✨

• I love the relationships between Atsushi and the PM members here. Mori is the horrible abusive adoptive father yet the one who saved Atsushi from his hell of the orphanage. Chuuya is still the same confident handsome bastard that I love in the canonverse, but with Atsushi as his partner he is gentler, calmer. And the Akutagawa siblings, who Atsushi cares for and grow to adore Atsushi in their own ways, really does weird things to my heart.

• The theme of this fic is freedom, which at first Atsushi didn't have because he was caged by the previous boss with a collar and later chained with thousands of ties to the Mafia by Mori, Chuuya, the Akutagawa siblings. His first meeting with one Dazai Osamu and many others later slowly change that. Personally I find the idea of relationship ties to be tragically romantic hhhhh.

• Atsushi's kindness. It is his kindness that leads to the, may I say, naive stubborn desire against killing, which Mori indulges, Chuuya sympathizes, and the Akutagawa siblings admire. Maybe I interpreted the lines wrong, or maybe I was right, but the PM members really try hard to protect this little hope of innocence that Atsushi holds, using their own twisted methods, despite how utterly foolish that hope is. Reminds me of the reasons why I fell in love with canon!Atsushi in the first place.

• Dazatsu's first meeting. I love the way Atsushi demands Dazai's will to live in exchange for the money, food and accommodation that he promises to provide. Really in character with Atsushi's love for life, both in this fic and the canon verse.

• Chuuya's gifts to Atsushi (and they are all expensive). Atsushi takes care of Chuuya when they go drinking. The two young boy comfort each other in the event of the trauma of their job.

• Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, calling Atsushi, "Atsushi-san" 😳😳😳 I also get this hunch quite often, that Akutagawa in this au is eager to kill because he wants to honor Atsushi's wish not to kill.

• Dazai's panic at seeing Atsushi's tears. Holy moly I felt like something in me was awakened when reading that part. Definitely one of my dazatsu favorite tropes.

• Atsushi! Smoking! (audible gasp)

• Dazai lit Atsushi's cigarettes 🤤 I want a cigarette kiss 🚬💋😉😘

• This fic was written back in 2017. The author admitted that they only read the manga and didn't know LN was a thing when they wrote it, which is why some details may seem out of place if you think about it. Personally I find this drawback to be quite appealing instead. I like to imagine how the other pieces of the BSD canonverse can fit into this au: Did Atsushi know about Yosano (because, Mori)? What would Fyodor do knowing Atsushi was the fearsome Beast of Calamity of the PM? How did Atsushi and Chuuya's first meeting go? How could Atsushi help dealing with Chuuya's Corruption power and Arahabaki? Where were Oda and Ango? How about Kyouka? So many questions, so many ideas...

Quotes:

*

“I’m never killing again.”

He doesn’t know where the sudden conviction comes from; he just knows that it bubbles and burns in his throat. The tiger paces inside his ribcage, making itself known in the ache that pushes up from the inside of his skin, pressing outward.

“What the hell, man.” Chuuya—doesn’t sound as angry as Atsushi would have expected, considering what he just said is tantamount to treason in their circle. Pacifists are dead weight, only good for menial tasks.

*

“I didn’t realize how famous Atsushi-san was,” Dazai says softly. He quirks his eyebrow at Atsushi, playful. “Imagine my surprise when I was being detailed on dangerous Port Mafia members and your name popped up.” He leans close to Atsushi, his breath hot against his skin and adds, “The reported number of deaths was strange, too.”

Atsushi shivers and says, “It’s complicated.”

Dazai shifts, turns his head fully to examine the camera that watches them. After a long pause, he turns back to Atsushi and asks, “Why are you with the Port Mafia, Atsushi-san? Someone like you...” and he pauses, looking down to where their hands are connected. “It just doesn’t make sense,” he says at last.

*

There are shouts, filled with rage and arrogance, as members of whatever organization has been marked for extinction surround him. They catcall and cajole him, laughing at the small, pretty sheep who has strayed from the flock and wandered into a concrete forest filled with wolves.

And always, always, Atsushi smiles mildly at them. Before each raid, he prays quietly for someone to have sense, for someone to escape into the night and not be foolish enough to stand and fight and die.

It is, Atsushi knows, a foolish wish borne from a foolish hope that this shall be the last death he must witness.

*

Dazai’s hand stills, and Atsushi feels his eyes. He continues to eat, quietly, layering the flavors that enter his mouth, trying to build a sensory symphony. “I have nothing to pay you with,” Dazai says, and Atsushi wonders if the lack of betrayal in his voice, the tired resignation, offers a clue.

“No, you do,” Atsushi says. “Something you hold little value in; something I consider to be of great value.”

*

Akutagawa does not quite smile at him – Atsushi does not think he even really knows what a smile is. But he quirks his lips, as if he is sharing something humorous with Atsushi, and Atsushi smiles back weakly.

“Atsushi-san could kill Mori-san and the other executives, and I would still want to follow Atsushi-san.” Akutagawa pauses, swallowing. And then he says, “Because Atsushi-san saved us… Our lives belong to you, Atsushi-san.”

Something weighty settles in the pit of Atsushi’s stomach, and he breathes out a hummingbird’s sigh. Akutagawa, he thinks, is so incredibly earnest. The obvious adoration in his voice makes Atsushi’s heart hurt.

*

We are only children, Atsushi thinks, as Chuuya lurches toward him with another sob, wrapping his arms around Atsushi’s neck. It is easier for him, like this – when Atsushi is in his tiger form, large enough that his bulk takes up almost the entire available space, with Chuuya curled into his belly.

He doubts Chuuya would treat his human form like this.

The tiger blinks, sharing its body with Atsushi, and chuffs softly at Chuuya, nudging at his head. It only succeeds in knocking his hat off. Tigers cannot purr, their vocal cords are not designed for it, but Atsushi tries to convey comfort in other ways. It is the only thing he can do.

It is his fault Chuuya is this way.

*

“Dazai-kun is incredibly kind,” Atsushi says.

There is a shadow of melancholy to Dazai’s face as he smiles and says softly, “No, but Atsushi-san is kind to think so.” He lets Atsushi eat a few more bites before asking tentatively, “Would you like me to leave?”

“No,” Atsushi answers immediately, and is surprised to find that it’s true. “I’d appreciate your company, if you have nothing else to do.”

“Never,” Dazai says. He smiles, and there is a gentleness to his expression that fills Atsushi with warmth.

*

“It was my home.” The “was” is weighty; there’s a finality to the words, and suddenly Atsushi sees what the tiger has seen all along, has known ever since that day by the river. There is a peace that comes from this knowledge, and he smiles at Dazai, trusting him to see what Atsushi saw. “But home is someplace different now.”

“I understand,” Dazai says. And he smiles back, a soft curve that dimples one cheek and makes his eyes shine like stars in the dark of night.

[aarcanechaoss]

Do you think Dazai was ever abused by Mori in the Mafia ?

Can you do a fic where it's revealed he was.

Honestly never though about it but I don’t think he ever physically hurt him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did some underhanded mental gymnastics on him though.

Now I’ll be honest even though I’ve been busy I’ve tried to still get ideas for my requests but honestly I got no fic ideas for this one so instead please accept bullet point form

So I’m just gonna add I don’t see Mori this terribly I just think he’s creepy but for the sake of this thing we all hate him

Warnings: abuse

Dazai just kinda mentioned it offhandedly when talking (and doing a very bad job at it) Atsushi through a panic attack because something happened and Atsushi had a flashback

Mori would force him to do almost anything, from murder to doing Mori’s paperwork when he couldn’t be bothered. He’d call him useless, tell him there was no such times in a world for colour and glee

Only ever hit him once, after that it was other people who did

But in the end… someone had to make Dazai believe death was his only solution to living

Unfortunately for Dazai pretty much everyone in the ADA heard him say it

Kunikida immediately softens his yelling- still very much getting mad when Dazai doesn’t do his work but now he kind of gets why. Now he just asks him to have it done on time and gives him a days leeway

Yosano was desperate to go over her medical notes, the records of scars and old wounds she’d thought were a cause of his suicidal behaviour but perhaps not

Ranpo shared a couple snacks, ones he (and he says this painfully) could do with out. He won’t treat him any differently his is his own person after all

Atsushi even amongst a panic attack did in fact hear him and decided that the next time he prayed for any god Damned reason he would pray for Mori’s downfall

Kyoka honestly may have already known considering her own life with the Mafia, Dazai may have been aloof about it and not cared in the slightest (or seemingly) but she knew it wasn’t the easiest thing to just admit

The Tanizaki’s became more wary around him. They didn’t treat him any different but sometimes people just don’t know how to comprehend others trauma- sometimes they can’t understand it so they distance themselves until they can which is what they do

But honestly Dazai didn’t notice

Kenji was probably the most forward about his thoughts on it and asked Dazai if he could kill Mori

Dazai unfortunately said no … which leads to Fukuzawa

Fukuzawa was the absolute last person to find out. Why? Because he would have rioted and I feel that if he wanted to he could absolutely fuck up anyone while he’s on a war path. Good luck living through that Mori

He only found out because of the Dazai Kenji conversation in regards to murdering the leader of the Port Mafia

Overall no one really changed how the treated Dazai but there was a whole new level of anger whenever they were around the Mafia now

[daz4i]

actually here lemme brainstorm it now bc I'm bored and need to keep my brain busy so i don't go insane

tw: suicide depression etc (obviously. it's dazai), animal death, abuse and violence (parental and between siblings)

ok so. the way i like to go at it is to base a lot on yozo's upbringing in no longer human. but combine it with information bsd offers us

still, let me clarify, this isn't quite theorizing, more like headcanons or straight up fanfic really. anyway

some things that happened for sure or at least are heavily implied to have happened:

dazai was already out of his home by the age of 14 (when mori found him)

since abilities are caused as a response to a traumatic event in your past, we can assume something happened to dazai with ability users to cause him to develop an ability that nullifies them

i. think thats all the certain stuff akskflglhj

stuff that are more like fandom hcs I've gotten attached to so i wanna implement them:

something happened to him with dogs that caused him to hate them (however, he sees them as some form of servant, given how he treats chuuya being his "dog")

he was a bit of a loner and never really had friends his age, might've not even known kids his age in general tbh

mori found him in the middle of a suicide attempt

okay. so! (this became so messy dude omg. no chronological order whatsoever. I'm sorry)

he grew up in a rich family, i wanna say with a lot of siblings and strict parents who worked a lot (based on nlh yozo, and irl dazai)

i think he has always been suicidal. or, maybe, that's not quite the right word. more like he never saw a point in life, ever since he was a kid

given his take on life is thinking there's no point in living at all, it might just be the way he thinks, but i think there's more to it - he's lost a lot. i can't remember when he says it, but iirc he does explicitly mention not seeing a point in wanting anything, because it will be taken from him anyway

so! i think something DID get taken from him, something big, that caused him to have this perception. or maybe multiple things really 🤔

one idea i had is. he had a dog he loved as a kid. he didn't have any friends, and this dog was his only relief from loneliness. it was trained and always did exactly as it was told. however, one day, something happened to it that caused it to go berserk and attack dazai. it was a terrifying experience that left him scarred both mentally and physically. after that, the family decided the dog had to be taken out to prevent it from attacking anyone else. dazai was... less relieved than he thought he would be. yes, he was scared of the dog now, but... that was his only friend. either way, that dog was put down, and dazai was alone again. (this can serve to explain 1 why he's scared of dogs 2 why he almost treats them like they're human?? like by taunting that one dog in the train station for example 3 at least a part of why he thinks everything he loves will be taken from him)

another possible thing he lost - well, the war was taking place when he was a kid, wasn't it? and i already mentioned he had a lot of siblings. he was the youngest, and his oldest brother was a soldier. sorry tachihara for stealing your backstory but unfortunately it works really well here. anyway you might be able to guess where I'm going here lol, oldest brother dazai might've been slightly attached to (nothing too deep, but. actually i will get into this later. for now, just trust me bro, he was dazai's favorite family member), who dies during the war, marking yet another thing dazai lost when he was only just a kid

so! i said he was a bit of a loner, and i think it was in part on purpose. he didn't want to get too attached to others, but also, he just. couldn't trust people enough to let anyone in. he put on a mask, tried to be funny, and didn't let anyone see his true self. then when other kids DID try to befriend him, he thought about how stupid they are for falling for his lies, so they're not worth his time anyway.

but why did he put on this mask? well first off. it makes getting what you want easier lol. be charming, and people will WANT to give you whatever you're asking for. and, i think with strict parents, they might've been slightly abusive, at least with the way they raised their children and tried to educate them, possibly in physically violent ways (not like. beating them up. bc i do see them as like, some polished businesspeople in my head, but like slapping them and threatening them etc), and dazai managed to avoid a lot of it by being a cute, charming, innocent looking youngest child. he still saw his siblings bear the most of it however, and this is why later when we see him try to mentor akutagawa, he uses physical violence and threats to educate him. he doesn't know a lot of other options really

however. because he managed to dodge most of his parents' wrath while his siblings suffered, a lot of resentment grew in them. notice how we haven't talked about his ability developing yet? well, i think it's time :)

among his siblings, one or two of them had their own abilities. they kept it a secret, fearing what their parents would do if they found out, but some of the other siblings knew - and one of them was dazai, who caught them using said abilities one day.

since this is essentially a fanfic and i can choose whatever i want bc there isn't really any information to lean on anyway, i decided that one of those abilities (or the only one. if it's just one sibling. it doesn't matter lol) is a fire one. a particularly tough winter caused it to develop in the kid who tried their best to stay warm through it. idk why i gave this backstory ability its own backstory but anyway. this particular sibling was a hothead (ha), and thus got into a lot of trouble, and dazai just watched them face punishment without ever helping (sometimes even shifting the blame to them when he could get away with it)

and boy did that cause a lot of resentment! so one day, said sibling caught dazai alone outside, no adults around, maybe only other sibling(s) who also felt resentment towards him. this was the perfect opportunity for revenge - they unleashed their ability on him. he managed to block most of it with his arms, but got badly burnt on them. when his parents asked what happened, he told them it was said sibling, but they didn't believe him or the idea that any of their kids have abilities at all. still, he developed awful scars there, and started covering them with bandages so people don't ask how he got them, thinking they won't believe him anyway (only further encouraging him to lie about his true self and feelings)

after that, said sibling kept abusing him with their ability. actually i now decided that yes another siblings also had an ability that I'm too lazy to figure out, but they used it to hurt him whenever they could. at some point it wasn't even revenge anymore, it was just to let their shit out on an easy target

one day, fire sibling was particularly angry, and aimed for his face, too close for him to block it again. but something happened - the fire just... disappeared. a white light appeared and made the fire dissolve as soon as their hand touched dazai's face. this was the first time dazai used no longer human

(also, remember the oldest brother? i think he was dazai's favorite bc he was the only one who didn't resent him, might've even tried to defend him a few times. and while dazai had trouble figuring out his feelings, he knew this brother was a safe spot in his life, even if a distant one. so losing him meant losing safety as well)

other kids who found him charming before thought he was a weirdo for constantly wearing bandages (causing him to lose another thing he had before, his confidence in his own mask), and he started getting bullied in school as well. he mostly dropped the mask after that, too tired to keep it up when there isn't much point

eventually it became too much, and he tried to hang himself. failed, ofc, and got scolded by his parents for forcing them to come home urgently from a business trip because he had to be a selfish freak and try to kill himself. when they saw the scar left, they forced him to hide it too (at first with high collars and turtlenecks, but eventually he just switched to his trusty bandages)

he tried other methods too, but nothing worked. one day, on a school trip that brought him to yokohama, he found a lovely river and decided this was where he wants to die. he quietly separated himself from the group and made his way there, placed his things by the riverbed, and jumped in.

he was so close, felt his consciousness fading finally, until- someone pulled him out. coughing and sputtering, he opened his eyes to see a strange man and a weird looking girl with him. the man was a doctor, he explained, so he couldn't just see a kid on the brink of death and do nothing. he introduced the weird girl as elise, and told her to be nice and shake the kid's hand, but after she humphed and complained and eventually brought her hand out, she disappeared as soon as dazai touched her hand in return. and the man didn't freak out the way others did when they saw dazai's ability in action - in fact, he found it VERY interesting, especially when he saw the boy in front of him looking unphased at the sight of a little girl dissappearing in front of him. he told the boy he has a plan and if he'd like to join him in executing it, and dazai, with nothing better to do and no way to get back home anyway (not that he'd want to), said yes

and well! this is where dazai's canon starts! i think i got through every detail i wanted to acknowledge with it 🤔🤔🤔

hope you liked it ✨️ and if you wanna adopt any of this as a hc or use it in a fic or smth, feel free! (just credit me if you post it :P)

one day I'll write my own idea for a dazai backstory. then you'll see.