#please note that I’m taking as an abuse victim myself

[hopefull-mindset]

I’m incredibly exhausted from writing 8k+ words about abuse in BSD and still not done with it. I just would like BSD tumblr to know the absolute monster this is going to look like, which I’m probably going to post tomorrow. I’m going to finish today but tomorrow I can go over and re-edit some stuff without falling on my ass writing Kyouka’s section

The structure so far, in order is:

What is Abuse

Portrait of a father

The Port Mafia’s Environment

The Heartless Cur

RE: Portrait of a father (<- this is Beast Atsushi’s section)

The Man Who Raised Dazai

A Mother’s Love

I started writing this because I was getting frustrated with the restrictive discussion about the topic of abuse in this community, and the way the “Abuse Cycle” is discussed is quite shallow. The concept in general is very flawed to me, even if I understand the idea behind it.

The progression between Mori -> Dazai -> Akutagawa -> Kyouka has so little similarity besides two things in common.

First one is their talent for cruelty lurking inside them, and second seeing themselves in each other and having them join the mafia because of it. On this stance the abuse cycle is not the wrong term, you guys just have no idea what you’re taking about when it is discussed.

The “abuse cycle” is what keeps you in that negative state and not feeling like you have anywhere else to go except this awful environment that doesn’t keep you safe. That’s what makes it the abuse cycle and we should feel proud Kyouka left, but you guys talk about it as if it’s the actions towards the next victim that makes it the abuse cycle when I’ve just said none of their actions has barely (if any) similarities. Higuchi is part of the abuse cycle, Q and Kouyou is too. The mafia is the embodiment of this cycle.

You guys are also grossly overestimating how much Mori actually did to Dazai. As I said, action is not what makes it the abuse cycle. It’s not the same thing as Yosano in this area at all. Dazai’s mental state was definitely harmed by continuing to be in the Mafia, he was still just a child, and what Mori did was not right in the slightest, but none of what Dazai is like is actually Mori’s fault. It’s a tough answer and I will go over it in my post. if you think Dazai was abused under the qualifications that he was a child who was in an abusive, violent environment, the you also have to think about Chuuya and Beast Atsushi.

My answer to that is no, they were not abused by the Port Mafia and their childhood’s were already stripped away and we don’t have enough information to say they were abused there, but they were already abuse victims that were already conditioned enough for the mafia not having to do anything. The mentoring situations in the mafia don’t see abuse as abuse, just another way of teaching their subordinates.

Akutagawa would be the same… if I wasn’t for the fact Dazai’s actions were targeted to forcefully beat an intention into him that wasn’t already a product of the slums. It needs to be targeted at something in you to be abuse. Not to say you guys aren’t also overestimating how much of Dazai’s abuse made him who he was, a lot of it was just the slums, but I digress. I don’t need to explain everything I’ve already wrote down.

The only people I can confidently say were abuse victims of the port mafia are Kouyou, Kyouka, and Q. That’s quite literally it. We don’t know what happened to Dazai, Chuuya had N and his time as a sheep member, Atsushi had the Director, and Akutagawa had Dazai (does not count as the port mafia itself). Those three are the only ones I can trace back to the Port Mafia as their tormentor.

Why am I not saying Akutagawa is her abuser? Well we have nothing to confirm that, she was not trained by Akutagawa (that was Verlaine), and we have no specifics on their relationship besides him being the own to bring her into the port mafia because he was sent to. Sure he was the one behind the phone in that one mission, but he’s not the only who has access to it, Kouyou did too. If you really want to put into context her abuse at the hands of the port mafia, think of her as nothing more than a tool for them to pass around. There was nothing more to their relationship than what I’ve already said, I’ve checked numerous times in the manga.

As shown in Beast, she doesn’t need Akutagawa there for her to run away and she doesn’t need him there to be broken by the mafia. Anyway, that’s all I have to say rn. I’ll hold off other thoughts until that ultimate post, just know I’m not happy with most of you. Especially those who criticize the way Asagiri writes abuse, I think you guys are just unnerved by how actually realistic it is.

Thank you for the attention my Mori post got, I thought I’d get yelled at for it considering most of you can’t fathom he’s a character with thought behind him. Gods you act the same way with the director as well. I wouldn’t have normally done this, but I needed a break from the main post. I’m fearing it’s going to become a 10k word essay. I do say more there, don’t worry if I glossed over anything here.

[we-were-beautiful]

The Fox and The Hounds pt.5

A/N: At long last we finally have part 5 for The Fox and The Hounds. I do apologize for those who have waited so long for this part but here it is and I got to give a huge thanks to @loving-and-dreaming for Beta reading this for me. That being said we are all still human and there may be some errors and I apologize in advance. Hope y’all enjoy  

Up next on my writing schedule is Unraveled ends and I already have about 2000 words already written for that so stay tuned.

Summary: Its autumn court tradition to give your mate a fox kit before your ceremony. after years of knowing the Vanserra’s a mating bond snaps between the Autumn Heir and a well known smoke hound breeder

Warning: none that I know of but if you see something please reach out and let me know.

 WC: 4k

As the door shut, I placed my back to it and gently slid down to the floor. I truly had no idea how to interact with this male. The last two months had been a whirlwind and all of Eris' current behaviors contradicts the information that my cousins in the night court have given me.  Gods I can only imagine the fuss that Rhys and Mor are going to kick up when they hear that my parents allowed this little unchaperoned weekend getaway, but in all reality there is not much they could do without inducing the High Lord of Nights anger. We had been invited to a formal dinner at the night court once word of the engagement and mating bond reached my uncles; the High Lord of Night and Keir, the Steward of the Court of Nightmares(who happens to be Mors father), had been overjoyed that The Night Court would now have ties with the Autumn Court. What the two of them had attempted with Mor they would have with me.

While the High Lord of Night doted on his older sister and her husband for the excellent match between Eris and myself; across the table Rhysand and Mor looked horrified. Rhys had pulled me aside after his father bid the residents of the Hewn city to go play. My dearest cousin begged me to call off the whole thing. Told me what had happened to Mor, and he was so worried that I would become the Vanserras next victim. The heartbreak on his face when I told him it was inevitable, this marriage was happening whether we wanted it to or not. There would have been no place for me to run. Uncle would not have sheltered me in the Night Court, and Beron would have me hunted down. The marriage was far too advantageous for him. He hugged me tight afterwards and seemed reluctant to hand me over to Eris when my mate wanted to steal me away to dance. 

That seemed like so long ago but in reality it was three weeks ago. I move over to the bed and take a seat. This weekend was going to be awkward between the two of us. Eris for the most part is trying; he’s gentle with me in a way that I have only seen him be with his mother. Every morning if we don’t have an event together, he sends me a small sweet note and flowers. He sends them often enough that the ones I have in vases barely have had time to wilt. He’s a good male; it's just awkward since we barely know each other. I had always thought that he was attractive, but with him as Beron’s heir I didn’t stand a chance when there were more political matches to be made. I had figured If I were to end up with any of the Vanserra boys it would have been with Ashton, the second brother. Ashton was a carbon copy of his father always aiming to please the male even if it pushed him to act monstrously. But I guess I have to thank Mor for fucking the Illyrian Bastard, it had saved me from potentially being married off to an abusive male and instead with my mate, even if we did not know it at the time.    

I don’t know how long I sat on the bed going over the events of the last two months absentmindedly stroking Paprikas soft fur but a swift knock pulls me out of my thoughts. 

“Excuse me, Lady Y/N.” A melodic voice flows through the door. “I’m here to help you get ready for dinner.” 

Ah so Eris had already secured a ladies maid for me. I let out a soft groan as I moved to stand. That at least saves me the trouble of having to find one myself. I open the door to see a high Fae standing there. She is pretty if not a bit plain. Her brown hair is swept up into a neat bun at the nape of her neck hiding her pointed ears; the simple oxblood dress is a touch big for her frame. The uniforms I have seen on the servants and slaves at the forest house have been expertly tailored to the Fae that wear them, so she must be new.

“Oh” she squeaks before dropping into a curtsy. “Lady Y/N, I am Melonie, Lord Vanserra has hired me to be your ladies maid.” 

“It's a pleasure Melonie, and please it’s just Y/N. If you are to be my ladies maid then we shall be spending quite a significant amount of time together; so we may as well be on a first name basis.” I move aside to let her in.

“Only while we are in private though at the Forest House we need to remain as formal as we can be.” I tack on. There is a rigid hierarchy in the Autumn Court and while we are in a private residence, such as here, we can act as we please; the moment we step into Beron’s halls everything has to be as formal as possible.

“Understood Ma’am.” She nods her head and steps into the room. “Now we must get you ready for dinner.” 

“Of course. Did my mate say what dress is needed.” I’m certain my family's servants packed everything from casual wear to a ball gown for this trip. I honestly don’t know why, as this is an informal trip for me to get to know my mate better. I’m sure he told my father that there wouldn’t be any major formal events that the two of us would need to attend.

“Yes Ma’am, Lord Vanserra said that it was to be a casual dinner.” She tilts her head a bit “I do believe his words to his attendance were that it is just a simple dinner between my mate and I there is no reason for us to don finery.” I let out a small laugh, that does sound like Eris. There had been a few times when we had been in the forest house after dinner that we had gone on an evening stroll and he had expressed his distaste for the show that we had to put on. Having to put on our finest to awkwardly sit at a table under the scrutiny of our families. 

“So a simple dress it is.” I let out a soft sigh. Thank the Mother, I’m so glad he doesn’t want to stand on formalities. I move through the room to the wooden armoire and shift through the dresses my family's servants had picked, settling in on a simple green dress trimmed with a delicate cream lace.

“That will look lovely Y/N” I smile at her statement and take a step back and allow her to help me get ready.

It takes us about 45 minutes to get me ready for dinner. The dress had been easy enough, I Honestly could have gotten myself into it but help is always appreciated. My hair had taken a bit more time, but soon enough I was headed down the stairs to the dining room. We had passed the room briefly on our tour but now I had the time to take it in. It was large enough that we could easily entertain a party of 18 people, but I had a feeling that would be an extremely rare occasion. The table was a smooth walnut wood polished to a near mirror finish. It was large with many elegantly carved chairs pushed under; it is nearly too large for just the two of us. While I haven’t gotten to explore the house I can only hope that there is a smaller informal dining room for us to use. Eris is there when I arrive, dressed in a simple cream colored tunic and brown breeches tucked into dark brown boots. Upon hearing my arrival he jumps to his feet giving me a short bow. 

“My mate you look lovely this evening.” He moves and pulls out a chair next to the head of the table for me. “I apologize for this. The staff had already set this table before I could tell them that it wouldn’t be necessary.” 

“Thank you.” I say as I gently take a seat in the chair that he had pulled out. “There is no need to apologize. There is an informal dining room?” the question hangs in the air.

“Yes, there is a smaller dining room that I use when It’s just me here; I figured that we would use it while we reside here unless we are forced to entertain.” He responds, giving a nod to one of his staff standing beside a door that I think leads to the kitchen. 

“Oh good. This is a lovely dining room but it feels like it might be a bit much if it’s just the two of us.” A plate is soon placed in front of me, I mutter a thanks, and begin to pick up my silverware. 

“It really is.” Eris laughs as he picks up his own silverware and digs in. 

Conversation flows freely between the two of us as we talk about everything and nothing. I take this time to figure out more about the male that I am bound to for the rest of our immortal lives. I find that he adores his mothers baking. He insisted that I should get her apple strudel recipe from her and that I would love it. He likes the spicy foods that are common in the Summer Court, but he cannot stand the Summer Court's tendency for sour things. I also learn that his father has him acting as an emissary for a few courts including Spring, Winter, and Dawn. It is an eye opening conversation as the two of us go back and forth. We sit at the table telling each other our likes and dislikes long past when we finish our meals. At one point after the table had long since been cleared, save for a few bottles of wine and our glasses, Eris dismissed the staff while we continued talking. It takes one of the hounds whining for attention for us to actually leave the table taking our glasses to the living room. Eventually we have to let the hounds and Paprika out one last time before bed. Sadly the rain hadn’t stopped. It seemed to have gotten worse over the last few hours and what once was a nice steady rain is now a downpour. Ever the gentleman, Eris offers to take them out and wait for them to be done. 

I knew that there would be some paw wiping that needed to be done, but what I didn’t expect was for all of the hounds to come back into the house covered in mud.

“Oh no.” I exclaim as Eris carries in a mud covered Paprika, setting her on the floor only after the door is shut and locked.

“I think we are going to have to give them emergency baths.” Eris sighed, running a hand through his damp red hair.

“What happened?” I swear my eyebrows have probably reached my hairline as the hounds continue to play with each other getting mud all over the living room floor. 

“Well I thought that they would do their business, be done, and come back into the house. Apparently I was wrong and they decided that they wanted to play.” I can see the steam rising off of Eris as he uses his powers to dry off. “Paprika on the other hand accidentally landed in a mud puddle. And I already dismissed the staff for the night.” 

“Shit.” It's always nice to have an extra hand on deck when bathing the hounds “Well looks like we are on bath duty then.” 

We had relocated from the living room up to the bedrooms; the click of nails on the floor followed behind us as the dogs followed along behind us. I let him lead me through the halls my arm laced through his taking in the warmth that radiated through his shirt. The Vanserra’s were known for their fire wielding abilities, but it was like fire ran through his blood heating him from the inside out. I didn’t quite want the evening to end. 

“We probably should have kept some of the staff here when we saw that it was going to rain.” Eris laughs. 

“Probably, I’m sure your housekeeper will skin both of us tomorrow when she sees the mess.” I chuckle glancing behind me to see the whisper of smoke hounds trailing along behind us leaving muddy tracks along the wooden floor.

“Our housekeeper.” Eris’ gently corrects “I hate to say that she is almost used to it. She’s not a fan of bathing the hounds though.” 

“I don’t blame her, it’s a task and a half, and with the lot that we have it’s going to take us at least a few hours.” I try not to pay too much attention to the way Eris uses joint ownership. I should be grateful that he has already gotten used to us being a pair although it is a bit harder for me. 

Since the engagement Eris has always referred to us as a unit. It was “our plans for the mating ceremony” and “Of course we will be attending tonight.” It seemed to come easy to him; however, I am still trying to wrap my head around things. For me this is still just Eris’s home and his belongings and employees, not mine. Although in two weeks, I guess it will partially be mine. I need to get used to the fact that we are now a unit and respond as such. This will be our home that we fill with our hounds and if we are lucky enough down the road maybe a few messy haired faelings that we created. 

We make our way to Eris’s room. The room is not what I had thought it would be and vastly different from his rooms in the forest house. His living quarters in the high lords ancestral halls were cold. Deep emerald fabrics were selected and paired with polished dark wood furniture. We had had tea in his sitting room a few days after the bond had snapped and the whole room just felt impersonal. This room however felt warm. The large bed that dominated the middle of the room facing the window, looked like it was crafted with smooth unfinished red wood and decorated with large antlers. The crimson duvet looks soft and inviting and for a male there is a surprising amount of pillows strewn across the top of the bed  A smaller bookshelf resided along the one wall and much like the massive wall of books in the living room this one is packed with books, but these seemed to be much more loved, with signs of wear along the spines. Next to the window there is a small table that appears to just be a log that someone placed a glass top on and called it good and an arm chair that honestly looked like it had seen better days, if the patches on the arms of the chair were anything to go off of. More dog beds were spread along the floor but I had a feeling quite a few of them slept in the actual bed. Smoke hounds while they don’t shed a ton of fur, still shed, and if the short white hairs clinging to the crimson duvet say anything it is that the dogs are on the bed. Which is fine with me since I typically have one or two with me in my bed on any given night and since Paprika came into the picture she’s always cuddling in bed with me. 

“Come on, the bathroom is through here.” He opens the door on the furthest wall to reveal the massive bathing chambers with a large tub.  

“We might want to shut the bedroom door so that they can’t run off.” I quietly mention once I noticed that all of them were in the room. 

“Good idea.“ Eris sidesteps me quickly making his way to the door. Nineteen sets of ears pop up at the sound of the door clicking close. I move to quickly scoop up Paprika before she has the chance to dart under Eris’s Bed. 

“We need to do Paprika first; she’s still getting used to bath time.” Hearing the word ‘bath’ the fox kit starts to squirm. I quickly manure her in my arms and hold her under her front legs; her bottom and tail dangling limply in the air.

 “You are covered in mud, no amount of wiggling will get you out of it.” I speak to the little kit as if she were a naughty child. Her ears flop as if resigning herself to her fate. 

Bath time is eventful to say the least, Paprika gave us hell once we set her in the warm water. She just about screamed the entire time and only calmed down once she was wrapped in one of Eris fluffy towels. Having Eris around for bath time had its perks. Using his fire magic he was able to dry the hounds and Paprika rather faster than having to let them air dry. The hounds were bathed without complaint; but there were some trouble makers. Once we had shut the bathroom door to bathe Paprika, one of Eris’s hounds jumped up onto his bed and proceeded to cover not only the duvet in mud but Eris’s pillows and sheets. Then one of my hounds decided that I needed a bath as well and grabbed my dress and tugged just hard enough to send me sprawling into the tub. By the time the all nineteen of the canines are bathed Eris and I are drenched; the bathroom is soaked and quite frankly there is pathways of muddy paw prints throughout the house. 

“I know I said we don’t need a kennel, but I would like to retract my statement. We need one if only to prevent things like this from happening again.” I slump alongside Eris resting against the side of the tub. 

“Agreed.” Eris runs his hands through his hair. “We still have to get cleaned up ourselves.” 

“And remake your bed; one of the hounds got on it.” Eris lets out a groan at that statement. 

“Let’s get cleaned up first and then we can deal with that later. Worse comes to worse; I can sleep in one of our spare rooms or the couch.” 

“Please don’t sleep on the couch.” I laugh “Especially when there are perfectly good beds in the spare rooms. 

“I will have you know Dear Mate that the couch is one of the best places to sleep in this house. I have spent many nights on it.” 

“Now that's just sad Eris.” We both end up laughing. 

“Come now let's get cleaned up and off to bed. Eris moves to stand offering me one of his hands to help me off the floor. I end up stumbling into Eris’s chest as I am pulled up; he steadies me, one hand on my hip the other not letting go of my hand. I had noticed in the time we have been courting how much bigger his hands are then mine, they almost completely engulf mine whenever we dance, and they are so very warm. My heart races in my chest, being so close to this male without anyone else around. There is an awkward silence that fills the space between the two of us.

“Well I will leave you to it.” He moves to open the door to the room. Immediately dogs start tripping over one another in their attempt to escape the bedroom. Eris meets my gaze and we burst out laughing at the scene. We laugh for a solid few minutes; we would slow down and when we would look at each other we would start laughing again. An endless loop of pulling ourselves together only to fall apart again and again.

“I don’t know why that was so funny.” I hold my side as a wait out the stitch that I had gotten from laughing so hard.    

“Neither do I” Eris places a hand on my lower back as he leads me towards my room “Here is where I leave you.” 

“Thank you Eris.” I laugh as he takes my hand and places a kiss on the back of it. 

“You are quite welcome.” He releases my hand and steps back.

 “Please let me know if you need anything.” With one last look he walks down the hall presumably towards one of the spare rooms to clean up. 

I turn into my room and see several of my hounds lounging around as if they didn’t just turn bath time into a whole event. I give them a glare before heading into the bathroom to take a bath of my own before getting ready for bed. The Lady of Autumn truly tried to make this suite as comfortable as she could. Various soaps and oils lined the counter and a few small candles decorated the edge of the bathtub. It was a place that one could easily find solace. Maybe tomorrow I will take full advantage and soak in the large tub, but tonight I feel drained. While it wasn’t a super physically taxing day, mentally it was draining. This trip is giving me a golden opportunity to learn just who my mate is. Already had got to see a completely different side of him. 

When we are out on an official engagement or in the forest house Eris has always seemed so cold despite the fire that flows through his veins. He has always seemed closed off to everybody except for his mother and me. I got to hear him laugh for the first time in the 60 or some odd years that I had known him. I move through the motions of bathing and getting ready for bed. By the time I am turning down the bed I am ready to simply relax. Paprika paws at the bed, her way of asking to be picked up and placed on the bed. I grab her and set her down on the sheets. Ramiel and Rosie hop up on the bed unprompted ready to make themselves comfortable on the large bed. My ears twitch as I hear scratching at the door. I quickly glance around the room taking a head count of Hounds that are lazing around the room. All seven of mine are accounted for plus Ichabod who also decided that he wanted to sleep on the bed as well. So one of Eris’s lot wants to stay in here tonight. I move to open the door to let the pup in; my eyes widen once I open the door because not only is there a smoke hound begging to be let in but Eris is standing there with two steaming mugs. The hound darts past me, with the speed that they are famed for, as I continue to stare at Eris. 

“I figured we could have a cup of tea before bed.” I smile widely at him. He had listened when I was rambling shortly after our engagement. I had offhandedly mentioned that I liked to have a nice cup of Herbal tea before bed. And here he stands holding two cups of tea. 

“I would love that,” I step aside and let him walk into the room. He walks towards the bed and takes a seat holding out one of the cups for me to take; I sit down beside him taking the cup from his hand. 

We sit and talk for a long time. Eventually we have drunk our tea, cups sit forgotten on the nightstand, but Eris stayed. We eventually moved from sitting on the edge of the bed to sitting propped up with pillows against the headboard. The last thing I recall before I go to sleep is looking over at Eris who had fallen asleep not ten minutes ago. I don’t have the heart to wake him since he looks so peaceful. I roll over and wrap my arms around Ramiel before letting sleep take over me.  

Tag List @b0xerdancer @imma-too-many-fandoms @judig92 @fall-myriad @j-brielmalfoy @highlady-ofillyria @percyjacksonspeen @nyctophiliiiiaaa @marigold-morelli @azzydaddy @isa1b2h3

[elysiuminfra]

my I Need Money post (AKA, please consider helping me survive my abusive homelife)

Hi! I’m Cecil. I’m a 20 year old transgender artist from Louisiana, and I can make YOU art!

Art is my sole source of income, and I’m in a bit of a pickle. I am an adult now, and I gotta do adult things. like pay off debt. My sibling is 17. We are both victims of abuse and child neglect at the hands of our alcoholic parents. It’s not so great, but I’d like it to get better.

I’m disabled from medical neglect, and have no way to get my driver’s license. I am unable to get a job, as I live too far from anywhere that would hire me, with no way to get there. This is all I got, man! I got two hands and a warrior’s spirit!

My sibling is my pride and joy and I want to see them flourish and thrive because they’re awesome. They struggle with untreated bipolar disorder and a slew of medical problems, and I want to get them treated for it. I also need to take my two cats to the vet. I have debt I have to pay off, and I have to buy myself food to combat my increasingly declining weight. My clothes don’t fit very well anymore. :(

Art and design is my life-long passion, and I’d like to do it for the rest of my life, but I can’t if I can’t get on my feet. If you’d like to view more of my work, you can check some out here, or view some of my more professional work on my commission website here.

If you would like to financially support me, consider commissioning or donating! Even just sharing helps!

https://ckncommission.carrd.co/

https://ko-fi.com/cknelysium

On a serious note, things at home are not great. This is where I talk about what is going on in detail. Details of abuse and neglect beyond this point. Not required reading, but necessary for context. Photos included.

It’s not that I’m just poor, my parents both work full-time jobs, and they manage to pay the bills. I have food and a roof over my head, but I own nothing but debt, and can’t financially support myself. My parents have been neglecting my sibling for years, and neglected me the same. They do nothing to help us.

My sibling is showing signs of health deterioration, likely malnutrition, and they don’t seem to be concerned about it at all. My health is getting worse, too, because my parents have ignored me when I have stated I am getting worse. I haven’t been to the dentist ever since I was a child. I live with disabling chronic pain and intense fatigue, and I don’t even have a diagnosis, since no one will take me to the doctor.

My sibling likely not going to graduate because my parents have not supported them at all with their mental health, education, or support them just in general. They live in total isolation alongside me. My parents are also the reason why I can’t get a job- they won’t teach me how to drive, and won’t provide transportation. I am physically trapped in my own house, and the only people who can drive refuse to take us anywhere. They also will not help clean the house, and they won’t help fix our dryer or washer, which are both broken. They won’t take our pets to the vet. They won’t spare any expenses for things that need to be done. They spend most of their money on alcohol. In my state, we are currently experiencing what one would call abuse and child neglect. This is one of the only times I have ever written, in detail, what my home life is like.

Our washer and dryer, both broken. We don’t have any flooring in that room. The other is part of our living room floor. I am the only person who cleans the house in any capacity, and when I do it never, ever stays clean. The dirt is from my dad alone. I need to cover doctor’s visits, medication, food for my sibling, and vet costs for my pets. I would also maybe like to have a little treat every once in a while. I can’t physically drive, but if I am able to get the money for it, I can force my parents to take care of things. Due to the, er, abuse, I am also isolated from the world at large and have no support system. All things described on my sibling have been happening to me for years, but I’m technically an adult now, so there’s little anyone can do for me. Things aren’t so great, but I think they can get better through blood sweat and tears. Which is why I have to step up and try to do all these things myself! A difficult task, but I want to make art into something I could do as a job. Please lord have mercy, I want to wash my clothes. I can even save up for a car, and teach myself how to drive, so I can finally reach independence. Without financial support, I can’t achieve that at all. I am very stressed about everything. I’m very isolated as a result of not being allowed to go anywhere. I don’t have anyone I can confidently trust with my home-life situation. I have no resources either, as I live in an area with very little support for adult victims of parental abuse. I’ve never made a plea like this before. I just want to be able to live and thrive and survive on my own, and I just can’t do it at this rate. If I can go to the doctor, I can get healthier, and undo all the years of medical neglect and actually hold a full-time job making coffee like I’d like. I’m afraid both me and my sibling will never get anywhere in life, and I don’t want that for them. I don’t want that for me. I want to finally start living. Thank you for reading, and getting to the end.

[kiarabanetmi]

“Poison” and how it speaks to all types of abuse

Hi there! I’m posting again. This is a small analysis/commentary on how the song Poison from Hazbin Hotel describes not just sexual and drug abuse, but other types of abuse as well. If you haven’t seen Hazbin Hotel or haven’t heard the song, I’ve put a link to the song below. Even if you don’t watch the show the song is amazing and I highly recommend it. Note: this is not the official episode music video, which is triggering to people, this is the before episode release version.

I also made another post earlier on my opinions on episode 4 of Hazbin Hotel. Give it a read!

Ok, so I’m going to cover some very specific lines and moments in the song. The majority of my analysis focuses on verse two and the the final verse.

This song at its core is about abuse. Angel Dust’s type of abuse is a combination of largely S/A along with physical and verbal Abuse by his pimp Valentino. But if you analyze these lyrics, this song speaks to all types of abuse and abuse victims and/or survivors, except for a few lines that are highly specific depending on situations. I’m going to focus on how this song can speak to domestic abuse victims, myself specifically. If you do not feel comfortable hearing about the following triggers then please scroll on and have a good day. You have been warned.

So context before I get into this: I was raised with a mentally ill parent as well as victim of my other parent’s former Fiance who also verbally and emotionally abused but the two of us. My mentally ill parent suffers from untreated unconventional borderline personality disorder, known as BPD. My other parent’s ex Fiance suffers from grandiose narcissistic personality disorder, known as NPD. I am no longer in contact with the ex Fiance and have no plans to see them ever again. However, I am still suffering from my parent with BPD, specifically over the holiday. We had a major fight because they believe my other parent is truly the abuser in their reality and by taking their side, I was starting to abuse them as well. This has caused me to (at least temporarily) cut off the unhealthy parent and live with the other one full time. And the unhealthy parent is a master at verbal, emotional and psychological manipulation.

Now getting onto the actual song:

Whenever I listen to the back half of verse 1 into the first chorus, I really relate to the lyrics through personal experience. It starts at the following line:

“I shoulda known that this would happen,

“I shoulda known it when I looked into your red-hot eyes

“Spewin’ all your red hot lies”

Now let’s go back to the lyrics and how it relates to me. As part of their BPD, this is especially true, and true for those who are involved with family/spouses/loved ones who are verbally and emotionally abusive. I believe any person who has different under an abuser will relate to this simple like. At some point we know the pattern, we know the signs for when we “fucked up” as it were. And we know at some point, consciously or unconsciously, that our abuser is lying.

“What’s the worst part of this hell?

“I can only blame myself.”

This line can be relatable depending on the type abuse you suffer from. In Angel’s case, he signed his soul away (literally) to his abuser. In a way I do that with my abuser every time I choose to go see them and enter that unhealthy environment. The problem for me personally is that BPD does have patterns but I find myself surprised and shocked by them. Know that now I am doing research to try and learn how to properly deal with family members with BPD, but that personality disorder does not excuse the abuse I suffer from t I’ll his parent. Mental illness is NOT an excuse for inflicting abuse, even if it’s as complex or rarely treated like BPD. But every time I go back into that environment I can only blame myself for entering that hell willingly again. Because despite the pain I know they will inflict upon me at some point, I still love my abuser. I imagine this is a similar mindset to what other victims of domestic abuse feel as well. We walk back to our abusers, usually choosing to because we still love our abuser and hope they’ll change and this time they’re telling the truth.

But that’s usually not the case.

“Cause I know you’re poison,

“You’re feeding me poison

“Addicted to this feeling I can’t help but swallow up your poison

“I made my choice and

“Every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow.”

In my situation I relate to this line INCREDIBLY hard. It’s not just my unstable parent who is abusive. That side of my family has a long cycle of generational abuse that I am trying to break away from. But because I grew up in that situation, despite now knowing how bad and unhealthy it is, it’s what I’m used to. And unfortunately, I am used to or addicted to that chaos. For the past few months I have lived with my healthier parent and during that time, I have developed a non-chaotic, healthy lifestyle. Growing up everything was constantly shifting and changing based on the needs/wants of my unhealthy parent, since I was predominantly in their custody in my youth. Because of this, I grew up used to that chaos, considering it normal and fine, until I was shown another alternative by my other parent when they filed for custody and finally got rid of their own abusive fiancé. But because of the way I grew up, I became used to the chaos, and every time I go back to visit my abusive parent, I run the risk of falling under their spell. And unfortunately, more often than not, I do fall for it. And when I do fall for it, I fall into survival mode once again. This means that in a sense I’m “living like there’s no tomorrow”, like Angel. I don’t think about the consequences of anything other than escalating the situation, of making sure I make it out of there without some sort of fight or confrontation.

“I got so good at being untrue,

“I got so good at telling you what you want to hear,

“I disassociate disappear”

When I enter this survival mode, as I’m sure many other abuse victims and survivors do, I tend to lose myself for a time. I become someone else in order to be who my abuser wants me to be. In my personal case, I end up regressing to a smaller helpless child (not literally, but my body language does, as an unhealthy form of self soothing, being untrue and becoming who they want me to be: someone they control. I tell them what they want to hear, usually that they are right or that their pain is valid and nothing is their fault because they are the victim (which in my parent’s case of BPD is a reality that they ACTUALLY believe). Half the time when my abuser parent is tearing into me or trying to make me feel guilty or into he the bad guy (with depressingly frequent success rates), I tend to enter a sort of humble stage. I disassociate until it’s my turn to speak. I disappear for a while until it’s safe to come back out and say or do something. And when I do disassociate it’s awful. I lose small chunks of time. This has not happened yet outside of these instances of interaction with my abuser, thank goodness, but it is still dangerous to disassociate too often. I’m sure survivors of all types of abuse have disassociated at least once in their time with their abuser.

“So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp.”

Since I grew up so used to this behavior and pattern, it is like fighting my own nature to try to stand up and not fall for the lies. It’s so hard because I still love my abuser but because of their illness and their refusal to acknowledge it or seek real treatment this pattern is unending. It’s hard to resist swallowing down the poison they force in my face and flood me with. In my case, unlike Angel, my form of poison is in a pool, slowly raising towards my mouth, and I struggle not to get it not. And I imaging that’s what most other victims of abuse also feel like. That physical, emotional, sexual, psychological abuse is a poison that if left unchecked or stayed near to long will eventually kill us, either minor abuser’s action or our own.(Note, at the end of this post I have posted links the contact information of various services to help people in these situations, at least for those in the United States). Angel’s situation is also like that too, but he’s also drugged and forced to take poison by Valentino.

“My story’s going to end with me dead from your poison.”

This line hit me hardest out of everything in the song. During the latest fight with my parent, they tore into me overall and so brutally that for the first time in my life, I truly contemplated suicide as a better alternative. The verbal and mental poison they fed me for so long overwhelmed me and I felt myself wanting to die from it. I am not suicidal now, but it was an overwhelming feeling of pain, hopelessness, feeling trapped with no escape (at one point literally when I threatened to go drinking and they blocked the door, which is a tricky situation). If I hadn’t gotten out of then not already had the support system in place that I spend years setting up and learning to build, I may not be making this post right now. And there’s thousands of others like me who are still stuck in that pool of poison, but have already choked too much and succumbed to it. Never forget them.

“Poison, I’m sick of the poison,

“Im filling up my glass but it’s always hollow

“Full of poison, I’m sick of the poison,

“Wish I had something to live for tomorrow.”

And like Angel here, I’m sick of the poison as well, and every other abuse victim of any type can relate to this. At some point nothing helps anymore when you are stuck in the situation long enough. There’s no escape, and everything is hollow. There was a time when I was like this as well. My abuser had isolated me from nearly everyone else in my life save for my healthy parent, and it nearly broke me. But I found a reason to live for tomorrow at the time.

And I hope you can too. If you are reading this and relate to my story, or you heard this song and related to it in some way, then please know you are not alone. This song is not just a bop, it’s a real look at the kind of a severely abused victim that we don’t always see.

If you or your loved one are being by abused in some way, you are not alone. Here are some resources if you are in danger and need to call for help:

The Suicide Hotline: 988

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline:

The National Sexual Assault Hotline:

Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Parents

[fairywinkel]

𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒚𝒘𝒊��𝒌𝒆𝒍:  a  private,  highly  selective  and  mutually  exclusive  𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒊 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒚𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒍𝒆  of  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒚  𝒐𝒅𝒅𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔.  anti  butch  -  hartman.  straying  slightly  from  original  source  material  to  put  my  own  lil spin  on  it.  𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝  𝐟𝐨𝐫  by  𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞  (  26,  any  pronouns  ).  minors + personals dni. please  read  the  rules  before  interacting!  rules  list  will  be  under  the  cut  for  mobile  users.  

𝐚  𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲  𝐢𝐧:  breaking  da  rules,  going  into  the  family  business,  be  careful  what  you  wish  for,  found  family,  never  wanting  to  grow  up,  sitting  at  the  losers  table,  all  for  nothing  at  all,  avoiding  the  glimpse  of  your  true  self  in  the  mirror,  false  smiles  that  hide  dark  secrets,  more  than  just  a  job,  you  call  it  crime  we  call  it  smart  family  business,  a  soft  heart  and  a  sharp  tongue,  thickening  your  skin  with  sarcasm  &  more.

ミ★ 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍 : @playbarbies , @missretros , @itspib , @vhsreel ★彡

FOLLOWING.  for my own comfort, this blog is highly selective. i am  mutuals  only.  meaning  i  only  write  and  interact  with  those  who  follow  me  and  i  follow  back.  i  will  not  follow, interact  nor  write  with  muns  under  21,  this  is  nothing  against  you  or  your  writing!  i  also  will  not  follow  anyone  who  expresses  any  type  of  homophobic  ,  transphobic  ,  racist  ,  writes  themes  pertaining  to  rape,  incest,  pedophilia,  or  just  any  other  problematic  &  /  harmful  behavior.  i  also  do  not  follow  just  to  follow  ,  if  i  follow  you  i’ve  read  guidelines  and  character  profile  ( s )  and  want  our  characters  (and  us  if  you’d  like)  to  interact!  should  you  be  on  the  fence  about  interaction  ,  feel  free  to  send  a  meme  to  test  the  waters,  or  just  pop  on  by  to  plot!.

TRIGGERS. i  will  tag  every  trigger  as  trigger  /.  for  example  :  trypophobia  /.  i  will  always  read  guidelines  before  interacting,  and  in  doing  so  will  take  note  of  triggers  so  that  i  can  tag  things  appropriately.    i  want  my  blog  to  be  a  safe  space  for  all  of  my  mutuals.  should  a  situation  ever  arise  where  i  don’t  tag  a  needed  trigger,  please  please  please  reach  out  to  me  immediately  so  that  i  can  tag  it.  i  ask  that  you  tag  child  abuse  ,  any  depictions  of  SA  (as  well  as  flashbacks;  as  a  recent  victim  of  SA  i  cannot  stress  enough    how  important  it  is  to  me  that  this  is  tagged)  excessive  gore  ,  trypophobia  and  child  abuse

SHIPPING & PLOTTING.  regarding shipping and plotting - in the words of the wise sharpay evans “i want it all!” platonic, familial, romantic — i’m a total simp for shipping and plotting, i will plot with you til the cows come home. plotted ships will get priority over non-plotted ships! however, you are NEVER obligated to a ship, and if you’re not feeling it for any reason whatsoever, please don’t feel nervous to let me know! there will be no hard feelings, comfort comes first! no smut will be written on this blog.

REPLIES. as  a  wannabe  author  &  screenwriter  ,  i  am  one  who  loves  to  delve  into  inner  dialogue,  who  loves  to  challenge  myself  into  finding  new  ways  to  string  together  descriptors  &  play  with  exposition  and  emotions.  i  just  get  very  excited  and  invested  -  and  that  tends  to  show  in  the  length  of  my  replies.  to  memes  ,  starters  ,  plotting  -  they  can  get  LONG.  you  never  have  to  feel  any  kind  of  pressure  to  match  my  length  or  anything  like  that.  as  long  as  there’s  something  for  me  to  work  with  ,  do  what  makes  you  happy  and  comfortable!!  this  is  a  hobby  and  we’re  here  to  have  fun  ,  do  what  you  wanna  do  &  it’ll  be  amazing  i  know  it  <3 replies  may  vary  in  time.  please  take  note  that  my  response  time  does  not  equal  interest  in  thread  or  lack  thereof.    i  love  every  thread  ,  meme  ,  and  starter  that’s  sent  my  way  the  same  way  i  love  chocolate  cake.  memes  are  the  best  way  to  interact  with  me  ,  and  if  you’re  wondering  about  turning  an  ask  into  a  thread  ,  my  answer  will  always  be  yes  please!!   

ABOUT THE MUN. hey  howdy  hey!  call  me  pidge. anti butch hartman. any  pronouns. 26.  ashkenazi-jew.  queer.  autistic  +  adhd  +  dyslexic  +  chronically  ill.….lions and  tigers  and  bears  oh  my!  been  away  a  hot  minute  but  i’m  very  much  looking  forward  to  reconnecting  with  muns  as  well  as  forming  new  friendships  too!  i  love  making  new  friends  so  please  feel  free  to  pop  by  and  say  hi.  don’t  be  nervous  ,  i’m  like  a  spider  ,  more  scared  of  you  than  you  are  of  me!

[breerps]

Can’t believe this needs to be pointed out but...

...there’s a wild amount of hypocrisy in demanding people believe you that someone did some shitty stuff in the past because people should trust victims of bullying and abuse when they share what happened... but the moment that person shares that they’ve gotten literal suicide bait, you refuse to believe anything they’ve said and instead go out of your way to “prove”... Idk honestly, that they’re lying about it? Or that they somehow deserved it? Either way, the lack of self-awareness is mindboggling.

And for the love of fuck it is not suicide baiting to tell someone that you’ve received messages telling you to kill yourself. Suicide baiting is literally the act of encouraging someone to kill themself—“malicious encouragement of suicide ”. Or if you wanna get legal, “a communication by a person directed at another by written or verbal expression, expression through an electronic communication, or non-verbal expression, that urges or incites the other to commit or attempt to commit suicide.” Telling others that you received suicide bait messages is not in itself suicide baiting.

Using the threat of killing oneself to get something out of someone is a form of emotional manipulation, but it is not suicide baiting and it’s deeply problematic to conflate the two. That’s how you get to the point we’re at now, where someone is literally sent messages telling them to kill themself, and the moment they dare to express that that happened, other people refuse to believe them or take them seriously.

And on that note, it’s not emotional manipulation to say “I was sent suicide bait”. Can’t believe that needs to be said, but it’s not. It’s just expressing something that has happened. It is not emotional manipulation to express that you’re going through some incredible hardships because of someone else’s actions, even while that person is also going through their own hardships because of yours.

There’s a massive difference between “people told me to kill myself so I'm leaving the community and am moving on with my life, please drop the subject”, and “if you don’t drop the subject, I will kill myself”. Those are two radically different things, and based on everything that’s been plastered up in the tags and on individual blogs, the latter never happened.

This community really needs to stop throwing mental health buzzwords around willy-nilly to back themselves up, it’s genuinely detrimental to how people perceive issues as serious as these. And y’all have got to stop whipping people up into a frenzy over things that happened years ago. Let shit drop and move on with your lives. Block and move on. It’s literally that simple, and if for some reason it isn’t, that’s what therapy is for—for you to work on that yourself in private instead of roping a whole community into your shit unnecessarily.

[macaron-tea-party]

Do you know if it's possible to get a fanfic removed from AO3 for being a personal attack on a RL black woman? Someone made a fanfic about p3dophilia and r@pe and they're very clearly using Harriyanna Hook's likeness and AO3 has a new commitment to being anti-racist, so...

It's here if you want to report it: htt ps:/ /ar chi veof ouro wn.or g/works/49 9110 19

I’m presuming you’re sending this in good faith, I’m not that familiar with the legalese of TOS but here’s my best advice.

So AO3 claims on their TOS that harassment is not allowed, however, AO3 claims they take into account whether the victim asked to stop and is personally a little wishy washy with a “case by case” approach. With RPF rules that may be a stronger case.

From AO3’s note on RPF

Writing RPF (real-person fiction) never constitutes harassment in and of itself. However, Content that advocates specific, real harmful actions towards real people is not allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, death threats and requests for readers to harass specific people. If you find Content that you believe contains harassing or threatening material, please contact the Policy & Abuse team. As Real-Person Fiction is fictional, generally Archive policy will be that Content in RPF that would be deemed Personal Data and/or Special Categories of Personal Data (e.g. full names, usernames on social media services, city of residence, birth date) will not be considered as such. However, if information that is accurate, non-public and not that of the User is included (i.e. non-public phone numbers, residential addresses, email addresses or hotel room numbers) the work can be removed from public view by the Archive's Policy & Abuse team in its sole discretion.

If you believe that this fic is talking about a youtuber (whom I quite like their pop culture work myself) then absolutely go report and be as clear as you can in your explanation on why you’re reporting.

Going into my personal opinion though…AO3 are almost pathetic at doing anything about race (why else is the #EndOTWRacism campaign occurring? Because they barely addressed their promises from a few years ago). Them telling folks to knock it off being islamophobes during the last ddos attack was actually decent of them though, so some progress

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

TW for: Referenced kidnapping, emotional and physical abuse, medical/psychiatric abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, victim blaming, and extreme emotional distress. ——

A tape of a conversation between a CHILD and their THERAPIST:

(sound of a door opening, and the THERAPIST sitting on a chair.)

THERAPIST: Tommy?

(The CHILD does not respond.)

THERAPIST: Tommy, are you awake?

CHILD: Mhm. Fuck off.

THERAPIST: I'm here to help you, you know.

(The CHILD pauses.)

CHILD: ‘M sorry.

THERAPIST: It's alright, Tommy. We all forget things when we're upset.

CHILD: I wanna go home.

THERAPIST: I know, Tommy. But you’ve gotta stay here until you're better, okay? We need to be able to keep an eye on you, in case-

CHILD: I'm not going to fuckin' try and kill myself again. I promise. It's just- I feel like I'm stuck in a cell here. It's shit.

THERAPIST: It's for your own safety.

(There's a pause, and a muffled sob from the CHILD.)

THERAPIST: What's bothering you, Tommy?

CHILD: You know what’s bothering me.

THERAPIST: I do, but I need it in your own words. Else you'll never be safe enough to leave, okay?

(The CHILD groans.)

CHILD: Fine. If you fuckin' insist.

(The CHILD sighs.)

CHILD: I was thinking ‘bout exile again.

THERAPIST: Anything in specific?

CHILD: I don't wanna-

THERAPIST: (Low.) Tommy.

CHILD: Fine, fine, okay! Prime. It’s just- y'know, I couldn't keep anything. I couldn’t keep the armour on my back, my tools. It’s still fuckin' weird that you're not taking shit from me, honestly.

(The THERAPIST writes notes onto his clipboard loudly).

THERAPIST: Did you ever consider whether you deserved to keep those items?

CHILD: What?

THERAPIST: After all, you were misbehaving. You can't get away with everything, Tommy. That's the problem with you. You think you can get away with everything, that you're the hero, but you’re not. You're just a scared little kid, aren’t you? Don't worry, once I'm done with you, you'll be all better-

(The sounds of ruffled fabric as the CHILD gets off of their bed rapidly.)

CHILD: No! No, stop fucking- fucking lying to me! You're lying, you're lying! It's you who's the cause of all my problems, you BASTARD-

(The sound of bone impacting hard obsidian and breaking plays. The CHILD wails in pain loudly.)

THERAPIST: If you're not going to listen, I can't treat you, Tommy. I'll come back tomorrow.

CHILD: Wait! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don’t go! Wait, WAIT WAIT WAIT DREAM PLEASE-

(The door slams shut. The CHILD remains sobbing for the remaining thirty minutes of the tape.)

[dairy-farmer]

I wrote this thing out and I liked it and realised it was pretty out of character and needed to be cut. So I thought I'd give it to you while I finish figuring out what I want to do with the scene

(Scene notes- as a courtesy, Bruce told Lois when she first got there that most of the Manor has cameras and mics everywhere in the public living spaces, plus Bruce and Tim’s private rooms. Lois, the next day after the older kids are at preschool and the younger ones are down for a nap with Grandpa Alfie, asks Tim if they can talk privately outside.)

They sit in the warm sun with the cool green grass beneath them pleasantly cool, silent at first. Roses and other flowers Lois couldn’t identify, scent the air, as they bob gently in the breeze. It’d be pleasant, if not for the fact that the conversation they are about to have will likely either be a tragic story of abuse and isolation, or one of denial by the victim brainwashed by their abuser.Of course, perhaps Lois is wrong, and it is none of these things.

She hopes it is the latter. But she is a Pulitzer award winning journalist, and she is rarely wrong when it comes to a story.

“Please, call me Lois, Tim. After all, it’s just the two of us now.” She offers, a warm smile on her face, making a conscious effort to keep her body language open and friendly the same way she does when talking with young children. 

“I’d rather you weren’t so familiar with me.” Tim replies, his voice sounding so young and sweet it’s a surprising juxtaposition to his words and disinterested expression. She falters. 

“Pardon?” Lois keeps her voice just as bright and warm as before, unwilling to be deterred.

“Ms. Lane,” Tim said in that soft voice of his, the slight furrow of his brow and the downturn of his lips the only true indicator of his mood, “you libeled my husband quite publicly, several times, in a nationally published paper. Surely you don’t think I took kindly to that?” And that makes Lois pause, because while yes, she did write many unflattering things about Bruce Wayne, none were untrue as far as she was aware. She had hoped Tim, despite his youth, could appreciate someone advocating on his behalf, even at the expense of his asshole husband. Besides, Lois Lane had taken care to be gentle in the words she had used to talk about Tim, particularly when compared to certain Gotham journalists who had written comparable stories.  

“Look, it’s just the two of us here, and I won’t repeat anything you say without your permission. If you’ve read my articles, can you truly not admit, off the record, I didn’t make a single good point?” She has to force herself to maintain her welcoming tone and stance, but she wonders if Tim sees through her anyways (not that she’s being dishonest, exactly).Tim gives her the full weight of his consideration for the first time since they met yesterday, and the weight of it surprises her. His soft, round face, with its pale skin and pink lips gives him a youthful appearance. His figure, with breasts and hips made full and round by all the pregnancies that his petite body has been forced through, matches it well. All of these combine to create a person who is pretty in the way young girls often are but otherwise unassuming, yet whose speech and manner remind her, in a way she can’t quite explain, of Batman, or maybe Bruce when he isn’t performing. It makes her uneasy. 

“I’m sure you won’t agree, but I find it quite ironic that as a child I was treated like an adult, but the older I grow, the more I am infantilised by strangers.” Lois jolts a little at that, offended, but doesn’t say anything, not wanting to discourage Tim from speaking. “ I was a lonely child. Don’t misunderstand me, I know I was lucky to never worry where my next meal was coming from, or having a safe place to sleep, but looking back, I was merely existing. In boarding schools it was easy to blend into the background, and during the summers after I turned seven, I was allowed to take care of myself.

“My parents aren't bad people. I suspect they might have even loved me, although I knew they didn’t like me. When I was twelve, until I was fourteen, they allowed me to attend a day school, giving me even more free rein. I put myself to bed, attended to my own grades, put bandages on my own scraped knees, and made my own clumsy dinners. But then my parents divorced, and parents were suddenly reminded they did in fact have a child. Jack got primary custody because Janet didn’t want it, and he had always liked the idea of having a son. Not that I was one, of course, but Jack certainly didn’t know that. 

“So for the first time in my memory, I lived with an adult full time. He didn’t know what to do with me, didn’t like the fact I’d become someone he didn’t know while he and Janet were gone on their travels. I was still taking care of myself, I just had to manage Jack as well as his expectations too. Those were the worst two years of my life. At 16 I became emancipated, because I wanted to ensure I could escape, if things got worse. Which, of course they did when Jack started explaining what classes I would be taking and the major I would pursue, I finally left. I know I sound like a brat, leaving for having my college paid for me, but I couldn’t do it. 

“I applied for WE because it’s one of the most friendly and welcoming workplaces in America. I don’t think anyone ever gave me grief about my gender presentation while working there, or demanded an explanation of my chosen pronouns, and it was a liberating experience.” Tim’s face has slowly been warming up the more he talks about WE, but his few tells are small and he holds his cards close to his heart, something that ages Tim a little in her eyes. 

“I know the stories that have been created about me and my husband, including yours, but I don’t think any of them understand us. I don’t really want them too, either. But, Ms. Lane, I think you are a clever and kind woman, and if you could ever treat me as an equal instead of victim to protect, I would like for us to be, if not friends, then friendly.” Tim’s small mouth opens in a smile with too many teeth. Lois meets Tim’s pretty doe eyes, and reconsiders.

They say like that, in the warm summer garden, where the flowers waved and fluttered to the butterflies and bumbles while squirrels ran to and fro. 

even if you're cutting this i love the scenary of it!! vivid descriptions of the scenery and garden they're in!! it really established them being in a place of serenity which contrasts so sharply with their discussion. you can see how lois doesn't really know what to make of tim and when he finally starts to speak, his tone of dislike with her takes her aback even though it's been established she's written about his family before, as well as his husband in a not very positive light. she, like many others, seems to really register only bruce in the dynamic even though she has a strong interest and belief that tim has been manipulated. one line that sticks out to me and that i really enjoy is this one by tim "I find it quite ironic that as a child I was treated like an adult, but the older I grow, the more I am infantilised by strangers.”

i don't know if you're planning to leave that out but it is such a good line that really must encompass how tim might feel about this perception the media and everyone who isn't family might have about him! but also lois when she meets tim, he recognizing there's something more to him, noting how in someway he reminds her of batman. which !!!!!! them being reflections of each other!!!!!!!! them having people, once they get closer start to see that !!!!!!!!! this really was a joy to read even though you're not going through with it!! thank you so much!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[popculturebuffet]

Doris Doodle Review: A Hidden Gem You Need to Read (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! I’m Jake, I review comics and cartoons and I have a question...

Because today we’re diving into a heartbreaking masterpiece released over 2020 and 2021 that I hadn’t heard of till kev asked it to be reviewed. 

For those of you, especially those who are fans of minnie and betty brought here, Doris Doodle is a webcomic created by hasini walker. It’s hard to classify as at it’s core it’s an original idea; in a world where toons and humans live side by side and toons are largely actors, Doris Doodle is a washed up 1940′s toon who tries to make a second stab at a career and soon finds herself mentoring a sardonic younger retool of herself. It’s full of clever ideas about how a world like this would work, meta commentary on reboots and how fans react to them, and scathing if well trod comendation of hollywood’s history of sexual abuse. Speaking of which

CONTENT WARNING: this review discusses sexual abuse, assault and attempted date rape. If these are triggers for you, please stay away for your own mental health or if you procede, do so with caution. Thank you

The thing that makes it hard to know what to say about it is ... it’s part fancomic. Several toons of various eras make cameos, Betty Boop is a member of the main cast, and both Minnie and Red from the Tex Avery shorts have small but still massively important scenes. Not only that it’s toon town.. is the same one from Roger Rabit as Marvin Acme, the same murder victim from that film makes a crucial cameo late in the story. And while I strongly feel this story can and should be adapted as it’s own work, with the important liscened characters retooled into legally distinct copies, part of the power of this original version comes from the use of these characters. So it’s very much i’ts own animal while still needing to be a fan work for it’s max power. 

If all that sounds intriguging, then come on down to toon town with me as I tell ya the sad story of doris doodle. 

To make this easier on myself i’ll be doing the flashbacks first.. minus the last one as it’s a big, climactic moment in the story and answers it’s driving question: what caused the end of Doris’ Career, and I feel it’s best to save for when it’s narratively right. But for the most part while some flashbacks do have a meaningful connection to the main story as it goes on, most just sorta happen because there happens to be enough of a break in the action to put in the next segment. It feels like they constructed most of the present day story first, and while they had a clear place for the final flashback, the rest just sorta show up when needed and ocasionally synch up really well with the story. This feels like it would’ve been better as 2 or three parts instead of just scattered about. 

Anyways Doris Story beings, chnologically with her as a bright young toon, introducing other toons for a kids show. She has a loyal agent named Roy who seems nice enough, and a bright career. The only speed bump and the first sign of things to come.. is when Doris refuses to pose for some racy model shots, and Roy gets in trouble, and with her career in danger Doris buckles and does whatever it takes. Where it takes her.. we’ll see much later. The one other scene of note out of all of this I liked was Doris meeting Minnie. Not only is minnie happy to help the starstruck new toon but in a bit that had my heart squee, Minnie reveals she’s married; she and mickey simply keep it to boyfriend and girlfriend in the pictures because that’s what disney wants. It does mean no children.. but Minnie’s made peace with that. It’s a small scene but i’ts just so engaging and gets the character so right i’d love to see more of this in an adaptation.. obviously with a stand in for minnie but still, having to live knowoing you can’t be married to your partner on screen or ever have kids ... it’s gotta suck and i’td be intresting to see how she was impacted decades down the line. 

In present day though Doris is a depressed, reclusive woman, no longer living in Toon Town proper and having become essentially a ghost to most people. She runs into Betty Boop who uninetonally rubs how bad things have gone for doris in by pointing out that while she has no reboots or anything.. Betty still has TONS of merchandising sales to keep her. Betty is essentially the Mr Peanutbutter to Doris bojack, though Doris honestly feels like an inversion of the horse from horsing around: both were chewed up by the system but while Doris left early, and unfairly thanks to jackassery that we’ll get to in a while, Bojack stayed but slowly became more and more corrupted before becoming a washed out husk. 

After the encounter Doris goes to the agency and gets a new agent Harold whose genuinely kind but admits he can’t get her much. It’s understandable:  Doris had barely a career and thus not much for any prospective network or streamer to go off. 

Since a social media presence would help and Doris has all the computer literacy of one Sensei Johnny Lawrence, Harold has her get a computer.  Doris struggles with the magic compubox and gets help from a kindly anthro saleslady.. whose boss is creepily hands on in both sense of the word and whose intrusions put Doris on high alert. 

Her creeper senses are not wrong as she notices him get even more handsy when he prepares to leave and properly reminded of her own traumas, goes over and publicly confronts the asshole before giving him a good old glove slap.. with an anvil inside. 

As is internet law, bitch slapping a belivgerent asshole makes Delores viral. And what happens to the person she defended? Does the girl get fired? does she seek doris out? what happens to her after all of this?

Yeah for some reason the story just.. drops this character. They didn’t even have to make her  a lead: just have her show up grateful for what Doris did later.  It feels weird to have the story just.. blow up this girls life with one brave act Doris does for her and then never address what happened to her or the fucker Doris bitchslapped in front of the internet. 

So with that Doris gets a guest spot... on Ellen

Yeah this aged about as well as Harry Osborn’s “fu Man chu face fuzz”. In the span of a year. In the writer’s defense they wrote this cameo before it came out she was an abusive monster, and Ellen would’ve been a good choice ANY TIME in the past decade. I would’ve done the same in their shoes. Doesn't make it less awkward but sometimes awkard shit just happens when someone turns out to have been an asshole this whole time. Can’ tbe helped. 

So the interview goes horribly wrong as not only did Ellen book Betty Boop, who Doris had an awkward encounter with earlier but in this work betty is kind of an ass without meaning too, framing Doris disappearing as “without explination”.. even though Doris resulting freakout and rage at her shows yeah clearly SOMETHING bad pushed her out. Ellen tries to coax it out of her because getting people to do stuff they don’t want to even when it’s none of her business is her thing, but Doris is just too shellshocked

Somehow this hurts her.. I didn’t belivie it at first but then I remember people suck and will sometime belivie the worst version of say a panic attack like this instead of spotting it as “well clearly she has trauma”.

Harold’s suggestion is an image change, bringing us to one of the book’s best concepts. See in this universe, reboots and redesigns.. are done to the character themselves, using something similar to cosmetic surgery. Except it can also alter personality and other important stuff. It explains how say the Teen Titans became the teen titans go, with starfire later cameoing in her go design. This raises a LOT of intresting questions: how much of the previous versions memory is kept? how do they do crossovers with previous versions? do they clone them or do they make temporary copies? can toons just do this like they would cosemtic sugery or is it stuido mandate only? And I don’t mind them not answering them either: It makes the dread later when one character is faced with the prosppect of being heavily altered personality and all that much more terrifying that we DON’T have clear answers. 

Doris ends up barely changing only going with a red nose, which limits her prospects.. but what I like, and what ends up contrasting Roy.. is that Harold never seems to NOT be in Doris’ corner. He warns her that certain decisions will make things harder on her, sure. But he never once tells her not to do something or tries to push her into something harmful just for the sake of it. He’s a good guy, if a bit creepily drawn. But that’s not his fault.. the humans in this comic.. just don’t look great. Like I get their trying to make a clear line between toon and human, that’s fine, but there’s so many lines it haunts me. SO.. MANY.

Eventaully though Doris does get a break.. with a catch. She’ll be in a tiny toons style reboot, mentoring a younger versoin/reboot of herself that she’ll show the ropes. She ends up agreeing to it both because she dosen’t have other options, and because after watching Tiny Tunes and seeing Bugs great mentor relationship with Buster, she warms to the idea. And frankly I love that scene: her not being on board at first seeing daffy play the fool.. only to see the genuine good she could do for another toon. 

So naturally this lasts all of five minutes before she actually meets her younger counterpart: Dawn, a snarky teen who mostly plays on her phone and when she does ask questions.. Doris dodges them because their massively uncomfortable. So yeah not a great day one though i’ve seen far worse. Doris also agrees to drive Dawn herself after seeing Dawn get an uber as she dosen’t trust them.. which.. fair. Doris was nearly sexually assaulted, again we’ll get to the details, and comes from a diffrent time. And even being told i’ts like a taxi I can see how someone coming from decades ago with only exposure up to say the late 80′s judging by bits and pieces we get later to the wider culture would find the entire idea of Uber or Lyft exestintally dreadful. I find the idea useful.. and I still find it exestially dreadful. 

So Doris takes Dawn driving on Errands.. aka “drive around in circles while trying to desperatley avoid talking about your traumatic past and hope the cyncial teenager dosen’t notice”. Not suprisingly, Dawn notices and Doris agrees to go to one place and if Dawn hates it, she can leave. So Doris takes her to the old soda shope she used to go to, ran by the same guy. Things go well at first, Doris catches up with an old sorta uncle figure, Dawn finds a new friend thigns are fine.. till Doris goes to the bathroom and along the way notices a bunch of pinups of herself.. and the guy putting his hand on dawn. 

Doris yanks her out of there and Dawn naturally notices things flipped from nostalgic memory trip to “i’m taking dawn bye!” really quick, but dosen’t pry, letting Doris have an out and agreeing to see a movie with her, the two finally bonding. The two’s relationship.. is really what makes this comic special. While “snarky character defrosts” isn’t NEW, having it be because she starts to see Doris less as a relic to contrast as she was clearly built to and more as a troubled but sweet woman as she is, is really charming. It helps the comic really get going as while the first fourth of it or so before dawn isn’t bad.. it is REALLY depressing. By design and it works better once yo’uve read the whole thing, but it can be hard to read. And i’m not knocking the work for being depressing: being dark and gloomy with a POINT I can respect like with Bojack Horseman’s darker moments. Same with say F is For Family or in comics term stuff like Watchmen. It’s not stuff i tend to gravitate towards, Bojack again being the exception, but it has a place and comics and animation, something this shares dna of both with, should be allowed to go there. It’s when it goes into grossout or edgelord nonsense to try and APPEAR adult that’s the problem. 

Harold is happy at their progress and the twos next adventure has them running into betty, who dawn invites along just to torment Doris whose too polite to simply say “fuck off”. The two get Doris to actually try on outfits and while most of it dosen’t work, she does take on a gold accented necklace after Dawn tries a used place. 

So things are going pretty well.. so naturally even with the comic slowly getting more optimstic.. the other shoe has to drop: They annoucned the reboot.. and this being the internet the redesign was met with mass scorn. The good news as Harold points out is it means Doris already has fans willing to defend her. The bad.. is that they have to change Dawn, something Doris objects to both due to her own past and due to having grown fond of her. Dawn seems fine with it. .but is fidgity all the next day. After all whatever happens .. it’ll change her. While the kid puts up a brave front.. it’s only because she knows she has no choice and only has so many hours left as herself. 

Doris isn’t happy about any of this and when trying to pull out of the reboot fails, as Harold points out they still have the rights so this won’t save dawn and Harold KNOWS this is why she’s doing it and feels bad about the situation but hands are tied etc, tries appealing to Dawn , trying to get her to take a united front with Doris. Dawn harshly rejects this... she knows even togehter they can’t CHANGE this and she’s stuck. It’s a ncie, harsh take on how fans tend to treat reboots; by using dawn as a metaphor for the creatie process; instead of being given a chance to be what she’s meant to, Dawn is changed and ripped apart simply because people got up and arms. And don’t get me wrong sometimes it’s necessary to do so: some reboots geninely suck and somne redeigns are terrible. The backlash the Snow White Live Action film is getting for first still using dwarves as peopl ein caves and now for having them as magical creatures, not fixing the problem EITHER WAY, either playing into sterotypes about people with dwarfisim or erasing them from their own story, is warranted.  But a lot of the time people spin out simply off a design without getting to know it: a lot of assholes complained about she ra, not getting the redeisgns were to go with the times and to you know, not sexualize a character, especially one who would be a minor. And rise of the tmnt got WAY more backlash than it deserved in hindsight. If you don’t like it on merit fine but many just hated changing up the turtle’s style and who was in charge.. in a franchise that has gone to far dumber places for far less reason so maybe wait to see if i’ts bad first. And spoilers it was not. 

That’s more what Dawn represents: changing something to appease people barking at something they know nothing about. Or just complnaing because somethin’gs “too woke” or diverse” and on those last ones I offer a hardy go screw yourself. Having more diversity in a work is what people should strive for, not something to be hissed at and constnatly deridded. 

So Dawn takes off in the rain.. and Doris soon finds out she just ran off. She thankfully finds a way around though, using Dawn’s social to track her to a club for teen toons and yelling the bouncer into letting her inside like a good mom should. 

From here we get a FLOOD of great cameos: We see Starfire (in TTGO form which while it hurts to see, is a nice nod to the way reboots work here) on the dance floor, Heather from Total Drama talking with Pacifica Northwest (which begs the question of how age works here.. .questions for later) and see Jonsey side eyeing them. It’s a neat scene showing the teens here, who may not even be teens anymore thanks to how time works, letting off steam. 

The one cameo I take exception to is Duncan from Duncanville, a recent fox show that i’ve tried but just can’t get into mostly for Duncan himself who, as the shows OWN DESCRIPTION put it is an agressively average teen.. and as such dosen’t really have much of a character in most episodes i’ve watched. He’s just a dumbass teenage son. I’ve seen it so many times in adult animation and sitcoms it physically hurts me. 

And weird enough while the character is indeed one I clearly do not like, they get him wrong as he’s smugly taking a look at one of the characters from Splatoon’s ass. The creepy peak fits, he’s a teenage boy but the smug expressoin dosen’t as he’s more of a vauge dum dum than a horny guy and there are PLENTy of other teen characters, including again Jonsey who could’ve fit in that spot. 

We get some more as Doris passes Velma and Hot Dog Water, awww, and bumps into Gwen from Total Drama, a faviorite of mine and one of the first boys of mine a show massacred, and also a show I should cover at some point, maybe when the reboot comes round. And also Rouge the bat. Which raises MORE questions as to how video game actors work in this universe and makes me want more of this universe to get the answers to that. 

Doris finds Dawn who depsite having a soda is drunk.. and unsuprisingly someone dosed her drink. Who?

No not him. Though Benson from Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts makes a cameo trying to help. 

In a clever twist turns out it was dosed with paint thinner, not enough to actually harm her but enough to attempted date rape her. So Dawn recovers and has to charge her phone. With seemingly only hours left together before the big reboot and their relationship reconciled, Doris takes dawn somewhere special and to one of my faviorite scenes of the work. 

She takes her to a house.. that turns out to be a small safe haven/support group where female toons talk it out, ran by Red from the tex avery cartoons, an excellent choice. We also see a cameo by Alex from Totally spies and erin from the progressive comercials, and some more I honestly forgot. 

But the point isn’t cameos.. but for Doris to FINALLY tell her story.. and finally tell us, and dawn, what drove her there. It’s why, while the flashbacks needed better pacing, I do feel this element works: while what drove her form it is a driving question, the way i’ts revealed, not in some big emotional breakdown but in doris deciding to take agency and share the story with dawn so she feels less alone as she faces something awful, gives her the power back.

As for what happened.. it’s thorughly unsettling. As you’d probably guess by Dori’s behavior.. we get into some sexual creepiness as Roy takes her to a party.. where TONS of classic cartoons are wrapped around creepy older men, clearly forced by their managers and circumstance to sleep with these creepy old dudes. What makes it unsettling is who their using: Characters like Toodles from ton and Jerry or Penelope from the pepe le pew cartoons. Pieces of my childhood forced to be pieces of meat for creepy men just to get by. It shows how even powerful women, huge monmentous sex symbols.. were forced to play powerless playthings just to suprise and it’s just.. horrific and uncomfortable. 

So naturally Doris is forced into this with Marvin Acme.. yes the guy who died in roger rabbit. Yes.. REALLY. I’m not sure I agree with this.. I don’t doubt a 50′s toon tycoon would’ve been this creepy, that makes sense, I just feel making someone else’s character a sex monster crosses a line. If they already were close to one, fairs fair. But while Marvin’s a bit character, it feels weird to just not only plop him in here but have him nearly rape the pprotaganist, trying to put his finger inbetween her thighs. 

Roy when Doris runs out. .is unhelpful, berating her for everything and being an abusive prick, with Doris running like hell and planning to quit, and not wanting ot make it this way... while Roy blames it on her. “if you were drawn like that why won’t you” is basically his logic

Doris is basicall blacklisted as a result and her final flashback is a heartbreaking one, not only seeing herself replaced on her gig.. but running into Minnie whose been redeisgned but still remembers her. So some memories remain , I just wonder if personality changes effect that and.. okay not the point. And Minnie gets another powerful moment as after hearing from Doris.. she hugs the poor girl, telling her to hang in there and this is not the end. That she should stand firm and keep going.. and i’ts heartbreaking because Doris tried but eventually just.. gave up, figuring her story was over.

But Dawn points out it’s not.. she has another chance and while she dosen’t say it it shows the one beauty of being a toon.. and of properties like this: there’s ALWAYS a chance something you love can come back and be done well. And ther’es always a chance for your dreams no matter how badly the world treats or tries to abuse you. 

Dawn is inspired by this to try another approach and not give up herself on the ride.. and as such the next day, after the surgery.. the only changes are dawn looks slightly more like doris, having the gold necklace and bigger hands, but otherwise is the same. In a brilliant and heartwarming twist Dawn had filmed her interactions with Doris.. and since Doris didn’t open up to the world this gave Dawn a chance to show the world Doris. As such the show is retooled in a way that saves dawn and puts Doris from mentor supporting character to lead again: her teaching dawn, filiming their life and Dawn moving in with her. After so much suffering and heartbreak.. there’s a truly happy ending. Doris gets her daughter saved, Dawn finds hre place in the world and the two live happily ever after ending on watching one of Doris’ old commericals. Ther’es also a heartwarming bonus strip where Dawn tells her happy mothers daw. Awww

Final Thoughts: This comic is excellent and you can check out the whole run starting HERE  and I highly recommend it. IT’s heartflet, engaging, well built and deserves a sequel, spinoff or adaptation asap. Not much else to say really I said what I needed to so thanks for reading and if you liked this review join my patreon

HERE

A dollar a month at the least helps me pay for bills and helps me hit stretch goals. The owl house season 1 is next wink wink! Just one more patron joining and 5 dollar backers get a guarnateed reviw a month. So sign up today and i’ll see ya real soon. 

[michu-writes]

Request rules

Please read this before requesting, and check out the masterlist incase a similar idea like your request is already written.

My ao3! (I do not post x reader fics on there)

Side note: I may be really slow with finishing writing requests due to school.

I also forget to update my masterlist a lot-

Requests are open!

I’m really fast with headcanons, scenarios/drabbles may take a bit longer, oneshots would take a long time to finish, so please be patient with me.

Don’t spam request, it makes me stressed.

If some requests are shorter than others, that might be because I haven’t taken that much interest to the idea or I don’t know what to write ^^”

English is not my first language! So I’m truly sorry if there’s misspelling or grammar mistakes.

I’m mostly comfortable writing for gender neutral readers, so if you requested a specific gender for the reader, I deeply apologize.

Please request your requests in details, like a specific part you want me to add, which character, gender of the reader, etc. It makes it easier for me to finish it.

3-4 characters at a time!

Please tell me if any of the creators of these fandoms are uncomfortable with anything I’m writing about, I will take them down immediately!

This isn’t really a rule, but any boundary breakers (meaning from basic boundaries to breaking boundaries of other creators) will be blocked, or please just do not interact with my posts. I want this blog to be a safe zone for both others and myself.

I have every right to decline a request.

WILL DO ✅

Polyamorous relationships (I LOVE THEM!)

Fluff

Angst

Hurt/comfort

Major character death

Coming out!reader

Family dynamics (That doesn’t mean INCEST!)

WILL NOT! ❌

Smut

Incest

Extreme violence (like very detailed extreme violence if you know what I mean)

Any sort of abuse (unless it’s about a canon (fictional obviously) character who canonically was a victim of abuse)

Yandere

As for the fandoms I write for:

Character lists

Omori

Inside Job

Ninjago

The Cuphead Show

Eddsworld

BFDI / BFB

Sonic *Please specify if you want boom, movie or normal version please! I also do not write human!reader*

Gravity falls

Adventure time

Gorillaz

Mandela Catalogue

The Walten Files

Helluva boss

Moominvalley

The Owl House

[mistressemmedi]

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

[maraudersbutmuggle]

"The Prank"

Content Warning: Gender Dysphoria, Transphobia, Violence, PTSD. Depression, Mentions of Sexual Abuse. ANGST, ANGST, ANGST.

It was the week before exams. Everyone was crazy, especially the fifth years. These exams would define their possible careers in the future.

Remus was twice stressed. He was sick of people asking him questions and asking him to tutor them and sharing his notes with them.

After he had yelled to two poor third years, and slammed his book shot, making Peter jump, he went to the loo. Just to wash his face and take a bloody break.

He didn't know it would be one of the worst days of his life.

As he washed his face, he heard someone coming in. But Remus ignored it. Perhaps it was another boy.

"Hello, Rosie"

"Rosie, my sweet Rosie" "No!" "C'me here, Rosie..." "DADDY!!"

Remus began shaking. He looked that the voice came from Snape. He was staring at Remus like a strange animal in the zoo.

"Snivellus" Remus tried to sound confident, but his voice sounded high pitched.

"Rosalind Meredith Lupin. That's your name, isn't it?"

"C'me here, Rosie..." "Daddy!! Help!!"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Remus was trying so hard not to break down. How did Snape find out?

Snape ignored him.

"I can't believe you fooled everyone. Even myself" Snape let out a little laugh. He stared at Remus with disgust "And all this time, you'd been a girl?"

Remus shook his head. Now he was shaking.

"I'm not a girl" but he didn't sound convincing.

"What I don't understand is who else knows? How could Dumbledore let you in, if you're sick. You are a freak"

"Shut up" more shaking "How did you find out?"

There was no point in denying it now. Remus was being so obvious.

Snape grinned. He took a piece of paper from his pocket.

"Thanks to the little love note between you and Black" Snape said "Maybe he needs to be careful where he leaves the love letters you send him"

Now he remembered. The note he had exchanged with Sirius. About his binder. About him being trans. He had begged Sirius not to show it to anyone.

"And then, I searched for you on the Internet. You were in the local news, Rosie. One of the victims of Fenrir Greyback. They found he had been raping girls thanks to your dad, the hero" Snape rolled his eyes "You were his last victim before he went to jail"

"Please don't tell anyone" Remus begged.

Nobody knew about that, not even his friends.

Snape shrugged "Why wouldn't I? Lupin? This is golden. One of The Marauders is actually a girl..."

"No..." Remus cried

"I can't belive your friends hid you like a fucking experiment. What do they do to you, Rosie?"

"I'm tryin' to be nice, Rosie..." "Please no!!" "Shut up!! I said shut up!!"

All Remus could do was cry and tremble. He didn't even dare to look at Snape anymore. He despised him and he couldn't believe Lily actually liked him. But Remus hated himself more.

"I thought I smelled grease from outside"

Remus was even more embarrassed to see his friends enter the bathroom. James in the front. Like a good leader. Him and Snape were mortal enemies.

"Potter" Snape clenched his teeth.

They noticed Remus.

"Moony?"

Sirius noticed Remus with eyes of concern. It was his fault. It was his fault Snape knew.

"What did you say to him, asshole?"

"I didn't touch your little bitch, Black" Snape scoffed.

"You and your greasy ass are always around upsetting us" James said "So go away"

Snape ignored him "You fucking perverts"

"Excuse me?"

"You hide a girl in your dorm, probably spy on her while she changes. God knows what else..."

Sirius rolled his eyes "What the fuck are you talking about? What girl?"

Snape pointed at Remus "Rosalind"

"Get away from Rosalind, you fucking wanker!!" "Daddy..." "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! NOBODY TOUCHES MY DAUGHTER!!"

The Marauders turned to look at Remus. They didn't know his birth name. Remus felt so embarrassed. He clenched his nails on his arm, harder and harder. He wanted it to hurt.

"What is it, Marauders?" Snape continued, voice full of hate "Do you take turns to fuck her?"

PUM!!

James knocked Snape to the ground before anyone can stop it.

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!"

Snape touched his nose. And then he laughed. Like a maniac.

Greyback touched his nose. And then he laughed. Like a maniac. "Come on, Lyall! Hit me more!"

James wasn't satisfied. He kneeled down and kept punching and punching Snape yelling swear words and insults.

Remus was in shock. He stood there, glued to the ground. Like a statue.

Sirius crossed eyes with him. He looked so broken, and angry too. His eyes lowered. And Sirius turned to help James with the beating.

Peter seemed in shock as well. He had managed to put an arm around Remus and whispered things like: "It's okay, Moony. I'm sorry. It's okay"

This is it. Remus thought. Snape is going to die. James and Sirius are going to kill him. And Remus would be an accomplice. A stupid witness that didn't do shit. Just silently cried and shook.

Finally a younger boy came in and gasped looking at the scene.

"GET HELP" Peter yelled "PLEASE!"

The boy ran away. And minutes later, someone came in with him.

"STOP IT!!" It was Lily. She was pale as a ghost. Not in the normal way, but nearly transparent "I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING STOP!! YOU ARE GOING TO KILL HIM!!"

"PLEASE LYALL STOP! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!!" "He hurt her!!" Lyall cried, still hitting Greyback "He hurt my little girl"

Remus was surprised to see Lily's strength as she pushed James away. Peter ran to do the same with Sirius.

James was panting. He blinked like finally reacting. He looked at Lily, who was crying. And then at his hands. Covered in blood.

"Go and find McGonagall, Owen" Lily sobbed, talking to the little boy still there "Please"

Owen obeyed immediately.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" Lily screamed mostly at James. He looked pale. Nearly in tears.

"Sorry..." he said "Sorry Lily.."

It was the first time that James Potter felt so small and quiet around Lily Evans.

But Lily was already on her knees, checking on Snape.

"Sev..." she cried "Sev... please wake up"

James' eyes were focused on them. He looked embarrassed. Sirius on the other hand approached Remus.

"Remus, are you okay?"

"Rosie, are you okay?" Hope asked, tears in her eyes. "MUMMY!!" the child cried. "Oh honey, it's okay" Hope hugged her child, crying herself "Mummy is here, is okay"

Remus flinched. Mostly because he was surprised that someone had addressed him. He had witnessed everything as if he wasn't there. And he felt the pain in his palms. Bleeding because of his nails.

He didn't want to talk to Sirius. He didn't want to talk to anyone or to see anyone. He just felt pain pain pain. Guilt Guilt Guilt. Anger anger anger.

This is your fault, Sirius. He knows because of you. He almost died because of you.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!" McGonagall gasped, covering her mouth "What the hell happened?"

Nobody answered. They could only hear Lily's sobbing.

"Miss Evans, who did this to Mr. Snape?"

"It was me" James whispered. James never whispered. He was always loud.

"What was that, Mr. Potter?"

"It was me" he repeated

"And me"

Sirius, the loyal companion. Loyal with James, not with Remus.

"Miss Evans, please take Mr. Snape to The Hospital Wing right now! Mr. Pettigrew, help her"

"Yes, professor"

Remus didn't understand how Peter was so calm, how could he even react?

"Potter, Black. To my office"

James didn't even protest. He gave a last glance at Lily, who was stroking Snape's hair. And James walked outside. Sirius immediately followed, his eyes on Remus as he walked. Concerned blue eyes.

I hate you. I hate all of you..... Not quite.

McGonagall walked carefully towards Remus. He noticed he was still trembling and panting. McGonagall didn't scold him. She just smiled.

"Mr. Lupin" she said kindly "Why don't you step into my office, and we'll take some calming tea. Alright? You can explain what happened?"

Remus just nodded. Because he couldn't speak. McGonagall touched his arm, and they walked outside. Remus find in her body a support not to fall.

---------------

The boys were not expelled but severely punished after they explained their motives. Snape was forbidden to speak to anyone about Remus. Remus remained angry at Sirius and James for months after this. But they make up.

This is my muggle version of The Prank. But this time it makes sense.

[emeraldvsociety]

Intro Post!(?)

I caved and made a tumblr 😏 Hey y’all 😏 Welcome to my braindump.

Quick intro:

Pronouns: she/her

Name: Em(?)

90% of what I post on here is probably going to resemble shit-posting because I’m going to be honest—I take myself way too seriously on social media and it’s nice to just let my inner thoughts go crazy. I’m going to post on here like it’s my finsta (minus the thirst traps) (Maybe). I will also probably rarely post on here because idk I don’t know how Tumblr works quite yet, and I don’t want to make a fool out of myself.

Okay if you’re going to read any of these dumb notes read THIS ONE: I am VERY passionate about Domestic Violence Awareness because (spoiler alert) I nearly lost my life to domestic violence (the spoiler is that I lived). As such, I am heavily involved in the DVA community. I meet a lot of people with similar and slightly different stories to my own, and I’ve been exposed to and know plenty about abusive dynamics. My point is, I am not comfortable writing/reading certain relationship dynamics because it makes me uncomfy. I’m more sensitive than most to this type of stuff so please respect that I will not write and actively avoid anything involving ANYTHING that might be seen as a slippery slope toward abuse.

Now, I know fiction is fiction and all that jazz so that being said: I don’t hate it if anyone ships something in the grey area. That’s totally fine! Literally, I do not care. Just please do not ask me to WRITE anything involving boss/employee, teacher/student, officer/subordinate, abuser/victim, huge age gaps, etc. I will actively avoid content like this, and I CAN NOT write it (unless there’s clear commentary that it’s BAD). This doesn’t mean that I can’t interact with people do create it either. If you want to know the specifics of my boundaries feel free to ask. If I could do anything in this world, it would be to purge it of the violence I faced. I can’t do that, but I can put out a creative form that emphasizes that love should never hurt. Minors please DNI. A minor does not need to be interacting with a junior in college working on grad school apps fr.

Requests are welcome! Especially for Dad Harwin and Strong Babies ficlets! However, I will say that I only write one longfic per year and that honor goes to Man on the Moon (and its brewing sequel) so just keep that in mind.

I actively avoided getting into fandoms because… listen y’all… I have been a Star Wars super fan since I was three. I wrote my first SW fanfic when I was like seven (I still have it—I honestly might post it because it’s adorable). My point is though, I KNOW how toxic the SW fandom is, so please do not bring that around me. It just sucks the joy out of me. So if I seem hesitant to engage in the community that is why.

HOWEVER, if you are Team Green, you are more than welcome to spew fictional politics on my posts. It’s part of the reason I love the HOTD fandom. It’s so immersive lmfao. But! I am allowed to attack your fictional politics back. I am literally here to spread Team Black Propaganda!

Something I will not tolerate is ANY FORM OF MISOGYNY. As a lover of women, it is my sworn duty, m’kay? Please respect women. This means ANY type of misogyny. This also applies to biphobia or anything I deem as anti-lesbian.

I am bipolar (2) and my hypomanic episodes really drive my writing up. So if you’re ever like “wow how tf did EmeraldTeller86 manage to write 10k worth of nsfw material” it’s likely because of my hypomania. Anyway! I am medicated and managed so please do not worry. The only side effect of my (hypo)mania is overly wordy pieces. It’s my outlet ig.

I haven’t been writing NSFW pieces for that long so if you’re like “wow this is cringe” y’know I probably somewhat agree. But I’m allowed to be cringe as long as it’s not on the main. Just let me have fun, dammit! I have to be the standard of beauty on the main and live up to impossible expectations so let me be cringe here!

I am a trust fund baby. And while I say that in a “haha you can make fun of me for being a spoiled brat” way, I also want to acknowledge my privilege and just let y’all know that if I do ever say something insensitive let me know! I am a person (despite layers of internet screens and manic tendencies) with empathy. I never want my existence or anything I put into existence to cause harm.

The Slayyter Remix of “Gimme More” describes my life pretty well tbh.

I am mostly in CST, but I'm occasionally in CEST / GMT + 1, and rarely in HKT / UTC + 8.

I’m in my prescribed flop era rn. In active recovery tho. Kind of.

I AM STILL NOT OVER MY CRISTON COLE CRACK FIC BLOWING UP ON TIKTOK LMFAO. Top Ten Funniest Moments of my life.

I love to read! So if you want to send me anything please feel free!

If you know my real name please don’t reveal it 🥴 I don’t want Society to win!

I’m thinking about posting weekly updates (just of life ig? Song of the week, book I’m currently reading, how my writing is going, etc).

Once again, I do not know how Tumblr works so please be patient as I learn the etiquette around these parts.

I'll pin this later if need be. Ig

[queernuck]

The Cleveland Browns made the playoffs. The Islanders made the Eastern Conference Finals.

And that’s enough for me.

So long, so long I have been living like this, pretending that I want to keep on living, that life feels worthwhile, that I don’t want to kill myself. Suicide is for cowards but ive been chickening out for a whole decade, to the point where getting on the subway was itself something that involved convincing myself not to jump in front of it. I remember once while working in the city, I watched and waited as two trains came in and left, trying to get the energy to jump in front of them. I had decided, if I couldn’t do it by the time a second train came and went, I would go to work and save it for another day. I came very close, my legs tense like a linebacker on 4th & Goal, but I didn’t do it. Maybe it would be better if I had, I would have saved not only myself but a lot of other people a lot of pain and suffering. I’ve been dealing with feeling suicidal for a decade, an entire ten years, and made it through. And for what? I lost a retail job at minimum wage, I’ve seen the Giants go from two-time Super Bowl kingslayers to a team that relied on the Eagles for a playoff berth, I got to see Evangelion only for the final Rebuild film to be infinitely delayed, I have a useless non-degree that allows me to eloquently describe how the Democrats and Republicans alike are driving this stolen land to Fascism while sycophants tell me Vote Blue No Matter Who. I’m so tired, I’m not even the person people think me to be, since if I were, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

My paychecks, as hard-earned as they were, never seemed to be mine in any real sense, and it made me so frustrated that something in me broke at the beginning of this year. I made some mistakes, some very stupid ones, and got myself fired. I took money from and distorted the inventory of my store to get what amounted to pocket money, less than two paychecks. I was tempted because I feel so powerless, so much like nothing I could ever say or do matters, and so I decided to lash out against a place that mattered to me, against people I cared about deeply. Chain stores, corporations, all of those things are not really high on my list of things to care about. Barnes & Noble pushed out local booksellers years ago, an irony not lost on me whenever our own competition with Amazon was made apparent. We were reaping what we had sown. But what always interested on top of this irony was how symbolic these things could be to people, how much we figured into so may memories for so many. The Manga Aisle at Barnes & Noble is a staple of 2006 scene culture, a way that kids without the pocket money to afford the newest volume of Bleach it Naruto could keep up before scams became widely available. How the store was a place where people studying for standardized tests could use the test prep guides to try and get ready for the eugenic ritual of the standardized test. And just how much a chain bookstore became a substitute, socially, for the now-absent local bookstore. We bear the guilt for that, but at the same time we were still selling books, giving people a place to get coffee and sit and read and talk, in ways that libraries may not be able to. We certainly can never replace a library, given just what a library does for people. But we did do a lot of good all the same. Before it closed, some of my fondest memories came when I was the exact sort of annoying teenage customer I grew to hate, hanging out at the Columbus Circle Borders. Working at Barnes & Noble was tiring, dehumanizing, difficult, made me feel like I would never measure up to the authors we sold, the people books were written about, that I was a failure. And I am, as my death shows. But it also made me a part of something I was proud of. And that Above & Beyond pin I earned is in my jacket still, a reminder of something.

That something was shown in so many of the coworkers I had, who were incredible in so many ways. I feel awful for what I did, I genuinely do, because of how it may have hurt people who thought so kindly of me, people who deserve so much good. I wish I had the ability to address each of them individually but this decision was hastily made, and i have a feeling it will show in the things I miss in this note. Audra, your help in finding me a way to use the company policies to my advantage as a worker was something that gave me faith even after having seen the despicable firings and cuts the company went through. Linda, I can’t quite square the circle here given my actions, but I want to say your disappointment broke my heart and that while I will not be the one who shows it, your reassurance that everyone makes mistakes was welcome.

To my (former) fellow booksellers at Store 2216, all of my love and my sincerest apologies. You all have so much good in you, your willingness to listen to my ADHD-fueled rants and to discuss so many things with an incredible frankness was always impressive, in addition to part of what I loved about all of you. I want you all to be happy, and the kinship I felt with you was a vital part of what kept me going. It was tough, as you all know. But at times, it almost felt worth it.

The same is true of my CTY friends: it was a weird, magical place that frankly, a lot of us idealized for far too long and which sk many of us eventually outgrew without being able to let go of. And that was tough, that was something we had a great deal of difficulty understanding, that what helped us once was not always going to be helping us, was not always what we needed. But in eventually finding that, we found solace, we realized how life as a whole functions and just what it is that we can take from places like it.

To my other family, my Cleo family, I know I haven’t been terribly active lately, but I can never, ever thank you enough for the belonging you gave me. I have never felt anywhere as welcoming as Cleo. As warm as Cleo (even as we struggled to pay for the oil bill) was. As kind and understanding. As tolerant. As questioning and inquisitive into what that tolerance meant to us. I am thankful, eternally, for what you all did for me. The incredible experiences I had as a Cleo make me proud of what the organization can represent, and one of my dying wishes is that the organization continues to reach out to marginalized communities on Trinity’s campus. There is much work to be done in making sure abusers cannot hide in our family, but I trust you all to do that work. Tucker Carlson is a Trinity grad and we must embody the opposite of what he stands for, no matter how difficult it may be. I could go on about how this means opposing liberals and Liberalism/Neo—Liberalism due to the truth of tolerance resulting in a Popper-esque Paradox of Tolerance that implies Popper is a worthwhile philosopher, but that’s another issue.

To my friends on that Blue Hellsite, tumblr, you made a continual presence worth it, even with all of the bullshit this place brings. It’s the reason I read so much Foucault, Derrida, Deleuze & Guattari, read Žižek against himself, and so on and so on, and the value of that to me can never be overstated. I learned so much from the ways in which I learned to analyze the world, and that in turn became a huge inspiration for why I should try to do what I could to make the world closer to a place of revolution, one where we could perhaps eke out a living for one another. I loved how much I could be an unrepentant nerd and still love hockey on there, and while the

NHL fans on tumblr are incredibly annoying,

I can deal with that compared to the racism of most hockey fans.

Mom, Dad? I just couldn’t live with you any longer. I’m so sorry.

Grandma, I love you.

And the things I leave behind? Donate what can be donated. Hats, please auction, or at least offer to other HatHeads at a reasonable price. I had some nice ones. As for assorted albums, clothing, and other things, sell them and donate to a Harm Reduction organization, or organizations that advocate for PWUD in a radical fashion. WE DESERVE AUTONOMY!

I am a victim of the War on Drugs. Sobriety was always hellish to me, and I could never take it. I want people to be able to live how they want, to see sobriety and being on drugs as equally valuable states, to see the two as no different from one another.

Abolish all gun laws

End the War on Terror

Decriminalize and legalize all drugs, sobriety is what killed me.

I love all of you.

LET’S GO ISLANDERS!

[theyscreamjade]

Can you do Kiri, Iida, Izuku, and Bakugo with a s/o who goes deaf from a concussion received during a fight or even training. (I lost my hearing and I haven't seen much done for deaf readers. Thank you so much if you do respond hun.)

Severe Silence

Words can’t describe how I feel for you honey, Trust me, you’re not alone. I’ve always had hearing issues since I was born and they’re stating I may or may not lose my hearing in the future which hurts because music is my life and I can’t see myself without it. I hope this makes your day and if you need to talk, I’m always here.

Disclaimer: Slight Gore, Abuse and Acts Of Violence

————————————————————————————————————————

Eijiro Kirishima

* He remembers the whole accident that day because he was the one who carried you to the infirmary.

* It was training to see how you’d withstand during a earthquake and you were one of the following that was instructed to stand in a building.

* Aizawa wasn’t too keen on it but you insisted that you wanted a challenge.

* When the ground started to shake, wood, chunks of cement started tumbling down. You had your practice dummy to your back, running towards the safe exit with Ochacko and Shoji following close behind.

* Apart from the training, a ding would be heard when there’s another victim close by, you guys had the majority of them. Even though the earthquake ended, parts were still falling.

* You handed your dummy off and went off to find another one, and never returned.

* You were eventually sent to the hospital even though Recovery Girl healed you.

* You weren’t heard of for a while which worried your Sharky lover.

* During a free period, Baku-Squad including Deku, Momo, and Ochacko comes over to visit you.

* You were home alone and when you opened the door to see your friends, you couldn’t help but burst into tears because you couldn’t hear their excited voices to see that you’re fine.

* I do see Kirishima as the type to pull out his phone and ask you if you were okay through the notes app.

* You tell them back when you were grabbing the last dummy, you tripped and slammed your head into a large block of cement.

* Being the amazing boyfriend he is, he’s going to learn every possible way to speak to you.

* To sign language to even speaking as slow as he possibly can.

* He’s willing to do everything to make everything easier for you and to keep that gorgeous smile on your face.

* He knows how hard it is to lose something that you’re so used to having and it pains him to see you a tad bit depressed because you can’t hear him anymore.

* Just know he’s going to do anything that would seem impossible to help you through every step.

* This includes training, If you always relied on your ears he’ll help you try to find another way to smell a villain near you.

* He’s going to encourage you to keep going towards your dream and never give up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izuku Midoriya

* His feet never ran so fast when you were found unconscious.

* During your first internship, You and Izuku were attempting to save Eri that day. Everyone was soon separated.

* When it seemed that it wasn’t going to be well, you sent him to go get Eri while you fought the villains with others.

* The mission was a success but came with painful consequences, You fought with a villain who was a tad bit advanced for you. You fought with all your might while the building warped and swirled.

* The last thing you could remember was the villain's backup appearing behind you and attacking you as everything became black.

* Luckily, One of the pro-heroes rushed over and defended you while their sidekicks quickly took you towards the medic.

* When Deku first found out, not even caring if he was injured or not. He wanted to see you. He wanted to make sure you were okay.

* It took him a while to see you and when he did, he was ecstatic to see you awake and responsive.

* He called your name but..you never responded, which confused him. He had to touch your shoulder, nearly giving you a heart attack as he asked what’s wrong and you just stared.

* Then, he knew..something was wrong.

* Upon finding this out, Izuku being the great and amazing guy he is will also take many precautions to learn to speak to you.

* His sign language is a tad bit rusty and sucks a bit, but give him a chance. He’s trying.

* In each conversation you two have, he’ll always make sure he’s speaking slow and you’re able to see his lips move.

* If he can’t speak or wearing a mask, he’ll either text you or type his words through his phone for you.

* He’s going to tell you that you should keep going on your fight to be a hero.

* Izuku will train with you and see if you two could discover a different method that you could use during battles.

* He will never give up on you and will always help you with your dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki Bakugo

* Everything happened so fast that even HE couldn’t keep up.

* One minute, You were kicking ass, destroying every villain in your way.

* Even though the attack was extremely random and with the permission from the teachers to fight these villains who interfere with your training for the fifth time in a span of a few years.

* Hell, you had your hero’s license so you had the right to kick their asses.

* You stood up, cracking your neck and fists before punching another villain back to the ground.

* Katsuki saw the purple blur flash past him as a large Nomu appeared to your turned back.

* Before he could even react, his body ran you over. His corrupted face looked down at what he did as Bakugo’s anger boiled over the surface. He grabbed the villain he was originally fighting and launched him into the Nomo before blasting them with his explosion as hard as he possibly could.

* No one hurts you. No one.

* It took Kirishima, Denki, Izuku, and lastly, a time-limited All Might to get him off the Nomo who he SURPRISINGLY knocked out.

* Once he could relax, he walks to your dorm. When he knocks and you don’t answer, it makes him worried.

* He won’t kick the door down..but..knock it off the hinges and discovers you crying on the bed.

* All the banging, knocking he did and you didn’t react while he was standing in front of him, his heart instantly knew that damn Nomu did something to you.

* He already knew sign language, there’s no lie in that.

* He knows it because his quirk has nearly made him deaf at times and it was told that he’d lose it before he would have a chance to be a hero.

* After the attack, he’s always by your side. He corrects people who try to talk to you and demands that they use sign language or their phones. He hates when others talk fast to you as well.

* He’s like this because he wants to help you in every way he can.

* If you decide to be a hero, despite his warnings. He’s going to help you as much as he can. He’ll ask for help from hero’s who has the same disability as yours if not, he’s going to make a method of teaching you with your other senses.

* He may teach you how to use your sight more, smell, or touch to their full potential.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iida Tenya

* It honestly hurts him every time he thinks about it, It shouldn’t have been that.

* He was supposed to protect you but he was separated from everyone else. You were with one of the members of Wild Wild Pussycats when Dabi attacked with his crew.

* You and Ragdoll were walking back after discussing your training in the morning when everything became extremely terrifying for you two.

* You and Ragdoll fought your best, almost moving in sync with each other Magne knew how to just send you flying into a tree each time.

* He created a negative force between you and Ragdoll when sent you two flying apart at a harsh force as you went flying into the woods and collided with a huge bolder.

* Blood dripped from your head as Ragdoll’s scream came to your ears while you reached out to help. Your knees touched the marshy land while your hand shook, pain rushing through your body.

* When the message came through, you passed out.

* Tetsutetsu and Itsuka discovered you and carried your body to safety away from all the chaos.

* When it was discovered that you were among the ones injured along with two missing individuals, It sent chills down his spine.

* Since you two just started dating and he was sure you and your parents wanted to spend time with each other, he wouldn’t come to see you in the hospital.

* It takes him over two weeks and when Aizawa needed someone to take his homework to your home. He immediately offered himself because he’s been dying to see you again.

* A jump, kick, and step later, he appeared at your door. You were checking the mail as he called out to you from a few feet away.

* You didn’t notice him and walked towards your home, not noticing his presence yet.

* He was taken back by your casualness while you walked to the door until he saw the hearing aid in your ear.

* That’s when he knows now why you didn’t react and just watches you walk away.

* One thing I do admire about this man, he’ll do anything when it comes to you. While he’s taking his brother to the physical therapy sessions for him.

* He’s learning every single possible way to talk to you. I mean every way.

* As strange as this may sound, he loves signing into your hand even though you’re not blind.

* It’s close contact and he adores that with you. For example, private things or him simply saying he loves you, he’ll sign it into your hand while everything else is out to the open.

* He often recommends to others and his friends that they speak slower with you so you can comprehend or try not to speak all at once.

* If you wish to continue your path to being a hero, he’s going to support you but he can’t help but constantly worry.

* The last time he let you go, you became deaf and he doesn’t want anything else to ever happen to you again. He wants to be your knight in white amour but he knows how you like to be independent too.

* Just don’t give this man a heart attack, please.