#But it helps me stay calm
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Biting is like actually a stress reliever for me
#I do it especially when I'm anxious#Why am I now just realizing this??#Biting and picking at my fingernails and the skin around my fingernails has always been what I've thought to be#Just a bad habit#But no#It's kinda a bad habit#Cus I'm doing it all the time#But it helps me stay calm#Also#Nibbling#I've given myself hickeys and struggled to hide them WAYYY too many times#More specifically on my forearms#Like smack DAMN right in the middle of it#So I'd have to wear my hoodie in the southern heat#It sucked#I don't USUALLY give myself hickeys anymore#But sometimes I eill let a tiny one slide#Bite bite#That's why I tell people I'm gonna bite them all the time#aCTUALLY#A good portion of my moots#When I started to befriend them I sent them “bites you”
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is he solemn from trauma and unflappable regardless of the situation, or does he just have >50 units of Botox in his face at any given time; a novel about Bruce Wayne.
#like maybe he is feeling things y'all#and it's not the training#or the trauma#or anything else#it's just the fact that moving his face requires concerted effort#so he never looks shocked#or upset#or sad#unless he REALLY wants to be#lol#botox#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily#joking#JOKING#or am I#(I have 20 units in my eyebrows and cannot move them without trying)#it has helped me stay “calm” in so many situations haha#“wow you really handled that so calmly”#thanks it was the fact that I can't move my face
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I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had a presurgical appointment for the procedure to have cysts removed from my ovaries, and tomorrow is the big day when it happens. Feeling a little bit nervous, but mostly trying to keep calm and carry on with a little mantra that I'm repeating in my head. At least it will be all over and I'll be on my way home and recovering before I know it...
#personal post#ftr: the mantra i've come up with is 'Be brave. Be badass. Be Amy.'#so hopefully that will help me to stay calm and get through this#i just wish so many things were less of an unknown#but i think it's all going to be okay#probably won't be able to post until i get home#but i will keep folks posted#thank you all you lovely people for being here#<3
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Adaine Abernant headcanon: She collects emotional support stuffed animals and keeps them on her bed. Each one has a name that is simply a rework of Bogariel Frogariel. Thank you for listening
#This is because i too have bad anxiety and i collect stuffed animals and they help me stay calm. Theyre my friends#i have 10 build a bear axolotls that i keep on my bed with me every night#bogariel frogariel#adaine abernant#adaine o'shaughnessey#d20#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high#dimension 20#dimension 20 fantasy high
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can someone explain to me why does my mum don't want me to be in my room and is forcing me to do my work downstairs 😃
#girl . im holding your hand while saying this#if im in my room it's because i chose to be#here i said it#i do not like being downstairs when there are people calm down#she just told me “what are you doing with your life” GIRL 😭calm down im begging you#she always want to know what i'm doing ? how am a supposed to tell her i just dress up and do silly things#she doesn't even want me to have my pc in my room 😭 girly pop ..#killing myself#she always think whatever i do i do it only because it's something she doesn't want me to do like 😟#how can you fuck up so badly . turns out you just don't want me to do things i enjoy#i kinda wanna hit her with a hammer sometimes but i stay kind 💗#someone help me i just wish she just stopped caring about me anymore i feel so trapped she always want to know what i'm doing#she's always behind my back it's sickening#as im typing this she literally called my name to tell me to hurry up and do my work downstairs THIS IS INSANE GLFGH#what is this tomfoolery#anyway yeah i'm good#j is rambling
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okay but alice's reaction to colin walking in brandishing a fucking hammer is so funny . yeah man What Is With That
#i know she was trying to stay calm which was very smart of her but like i just can't help it it's funny to me#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#tmagp 25
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how long do y’all think Ashe had to sleep in Mark’s bed with him after what happened to her mom. How often do you think Mark would try to put Ashe to bed and she’d run to him minutes after he leaves her room and begged him not to leave her. How often do you think Mark would hold her while she slept, staying awake for nights on end so that when she woke up screaming and sobbing from nightmares he could be awake to comfort her.
Do you think she moved back to her own room on her own or that she got to an age where Mark slowly started making her go back to her room instead. Do you think he’d sit in there and wait until she fell asleep or with his work one day he just stopped letting her crawl into bed with him. Do you think there were nights where when she could only fall asleep in his bed he’d carry her back to her room and she’d wake up, alone, in the room that damn book was in, do you think she’d just scream until Mark ran in to check on her?
#Ashe headcanons should probably be ripped away from me and I should be sent to go sit in timeout until I learn to not think about her#I can’t help it#her stories so fucking tragic i have to talk about my hcs on it as often as I can#also this hurts my mutuals as well and it’s pretty funny to see reblogs threatening my life#I feel like she’d also sleep in his bed the nights he had to stay out for work#like just being where she knew he could easily find her would help calm her down#even if realistically he could and probably would even easier find her in her own room#sighs and stares out a window#I’m supposed yo be doing schoolwork rn btw#jrwi#jrwi pd#prime defenders#ashe winters#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi ashe winters#jrwi hc#jrwi mark#mark winters#jrwi mark winters#moomins yapping<3
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Me writing my werewolf!Stan fic, brainstorming: So yeah then he could spend some time in the forest around Ford's cabin because he's a coward and doesn't want to speak to him but at the same time he doesn't wanna leave.
My brain, out of nowhere: Make him befriends the Multibear.
Me, completely caught off guard: what.
My brain: Make. Him. and Multibear. Friends, best friends even.
Me: That's hysterical. Let's do this
#stay with me#the possibilities are endless#like i could do something similar to what happened to dipper#i could do that stan has BEEF with the manotaur because they remind him of some of the gangs he was part of#and helps multibear out of spite#i could do that multibear hepls stan when he's hurt because he's just nice#wait what are Multibear pronouns?#he/them i guess#he is 8 different bears#BUT BUT#see my vision#multibear would be so nice and kind to stan#he would like have to tame stan like a spooked animal#the irony of the beast taming the human#stan would absolute ADORE HIM after#secretly ofc#nobody can know he's soft now#but he receive hugs both in wolf AND human form#stanly pine secretly touch starved (canon i was there)#would crumble at Multibear calm behavior and kind words#stan telling ford at some point 'stop being so mean to me or I'll call my friend'#and the multibear arriving from the forest ready to do the only thing ford can't do:#talking about feelings and being vulnerable to each other without judgment#ford would scream#i love it#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#multi bear#multibear
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i choose to believe satan isnt that obsessed with cats and it is just played up for humor and instead just has a casual love for felines
however sometimes humor is more fun for headcanons
this halloween card does imply he has 0 ability to resist someone wearing cat ears. if hes ready to glomp his brother imagine how bad hed be with someone he has a crush on/loves
this would also make for an amazing emergancy argument ender. put on the cat ears for immediate shutting up
Well, anon. As it turns out, something very similar happened in Season 3 of the OG...
Now to be fair, they didn't do much damage as Solomon later points out that in the magical RPG they're in, Satan has 870,000 HP.
But that is taking place in Solomon's magical RPG world. So if MC put cat ears on in real life, I'm pretty sure Satan would have a similar blushing, exploding hearts reaction. And that would certainly put an instant end to any arguments.
I think in Nightbringer they have tried to explain his love of cats a little more. Tying it into the way in which he understands himself, you know? That it was MC who told him about cats and how to befriend them. That attempting to do so helped him feel something aside from anger.
So I think Satan's love for cats is genuine, but they definitely play it up to a certain extent in the name of humor.
And personally I find it pretty dang adorable. It's like he can't help it. He just wants to pet Levi's cute kitty ears. And I love Levi's concerned expression lol.
#of course you can certainly decide for yourself how obsessed he really is#but I think the implication is that cats help him stay calm?#I dunno but I can tell you my cat helps with my anxiety so#I kinda get that#but it could just be that he thinks they're cute lol#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me satan#anon asks#misc answers
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halo does not like being snarled at even just a little lip curl she started barking but with her shrill throwing a fit upset bark not her aggressive scared one. jm more worried about her starting a fight than the shelter dog who's been pretty gentle and not concerned with babou and only warns halo if she gets too close suddenly and then immediately is happy again and not too focused on her. halo is just poorly behaved and is jumpy and easily annoys other dogs by how she runs around in circles whining and she paws at faces when she's playing or anxious -_- which she hasn't done to dogs outside her family but still her personality makes me so scared help I take her out on a leash only which is easy because she already is used to staying in my room on days my mom's boyfriend is home because she hates him to death
#dogs sre so much work inm sorry i don't think I'll get one myself outside of my family's dogs for a long time#plus im definitely getting cats in the future my favorite animal and i cant relax with dogs around my cats help#halo was sweet and ignored the several stray cats at my grandparents house but to babou she keeps play bowing at her and is obsessed#itfreaks me out stay sway from her and calm down... i saw you swing that opossum around.#she's better now it's easy to tell her off for that at least#babou is sweet for only lightly smacking her sometimes.. she's hardly scared anymore and walks around shaking her tail happily#she used to hide but halos much easier to make get qlong with the cats than berserker..#it's so nice and carefree for babou these days without berserker and kayas crazy asses#chewie doesnt give a fuck about the cats at all momo would rub against him and chewie would be like 😐#he scratched him as a puppy though as he was momo's first dog... chewie is the most gentlest ever now
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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oof. it's been a long time since i felt this depressed this many days in a row.
#since i've gotten so much healthier i'm much better at coping on days when i wake up feeling bad#and usually am good at being gentle with myself#like it's perfectly fine to take a day to rot if you need one sometimes#but since my kitty cat passed...#the initial shock has worn off i think#and now i'm just... fucking depressed#she helped me regulate so much...#and i'm trying to stay calm but if you've been in a similar situation#you understand the urge to panic when you regress a little. idk#i just feel like absolute shit. irritable and touchy and sad and empty#i finally forced myself to shower yesterday which was good progress#but i still feel so fucked up#i cant believe this used to just be my life tbh 💀 damn#lush.talk
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Worst flashback/panic attack/whatever the fuck i've had in years how can i project this on jason
#i dont do personal posts but i think if someone doesnt know im fucking suffering rn#itd be bad#i threw up hahahaha fuck him fuck himf uckf him fuck him fuck him fuck gim#i was liteeakky COMUNG HOME FROM THEEAPY and we DIDNT EVEN TALK ABT IT#im losing it bc what he did wasnt illegal and my mom liteeakly comolaids abt jis treatment of me#during my stay n every other adult working there fucking knew its not like everybody couldnt hear him#FUCKING SCRWAMING AT ME#but nooo theres no issue w yelling n raging at a fucking suicidal kid being held against their will in ur stupid fucking#menral health overnight stay place or whatever the fukc osasto was#hes probably still working the same job n i cant even find out who he wss i dknt know his name#its been 3 fucking years n i apparently stkll havie fucking flashbacks#but who gives a fuck right#im neber gonna get closure im never gonna get to yell at him he'll never face consequences#verbal abuse is just fucking fine apparently#who gives a shit abt fucking screaming for an hour at a kid having a severe panic attack/meltdown#repeatedly telling you to LEAVE#thats just not that bad fucking apparently fuck him so bad i hope he got run over by a FUCKING CAR#anyway dw abt me talking abt it helps im more calmed down ill get hugs from my mlm later#this will not be a habit i have just not had a Bad Memory like this in a while so i forgor how yucky it is
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I am getting to take an unexpected trip in just under two weeks which involves flying (husband was asked last minute if he could go to this work conference, and I asked if I could come along and take it as a writing retreat), and instead of panicking over what I can take for clothes, I am panicking over oh no, the story that I am planning on writing while there involves my fountain pen with bottled ink, I am going to have to get ink cartridges for it instead because I am NOT taking bottled ink on the plane, and uh-oh, I need some new yarn because my current knitting project is too bulky for the plane but the project I'd like to start I don't have yarn for yet.
Clothes will be fine, but making sure I can get ink cartridges for my fountain pen in the right color, that's top priority, folks.
#yes it has to be the right color#because I started this story in a particular color#and now any other color ink is going to throw off the entire feel of it#kind of like switching to a different font mid-story when writing on the computer#except in a bad way not in a getting the story unstuck way#also I might be using this as an excuse to get fancy yarn I'm not entirely sure yet#we'll see if I can restrain myself#but even though it's only a two hour flight I'll go crazy if I don't have something to do with my hands#I HATE flying#trains are so much more civilized but alas#society has moved in a different direction#but knitting helps me stay calm and keeps the migraines at bay when flying
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i kinda love when a character clearly needs professional help but is trying to self treat it with like crystals and essential oils and like herbals and stuff and it is Not Doing A Lot. i think largely because i was living like that for a very long time and it sucked but at least the aesthetic of plants is nice
#it was like alright i truly want to die and ive got an entirely uncontrolled life ruining brain issue on my hands#and we are treating it with ashwagandha gummies and a porridge that supposedly helps mood.#idk im sure it did something or another and ive heard of ashwagandha helping some people with ocd but it wasnt doing a lot for me#and also i like the Botanicals Vibe and also kind of making characters with the This Is Not Going To Work But Whatever I'll Take Vitamins#i remember around when my brain first broke with ocd i just could not understand why i felt so upset and freaked out 24/7#and it was december so i just started mainlining vitamin d#idk if that helped or not lol#my oc cal does this in one of his storylines. in a downward spiral but too scared to ask for help/doesnt see it as a big deal#so he smothers himself in soothing lavender oil and takes vitamin d and all that but still cant stay calm and still wants to die#and blames himself for getting worse#hm i think in another storyline he’s barely able to leave his house and has spent about a third of his life comatose/imprisoned/otherwise#not like Living#so he’s only had like 5-10 adult years living in the real world#so he’s completely overwhelmed by things like open spaces or other people. can barely handle the grocery store#since he’s so used to being isolated in a smaller quiet room#also his biology is sort of not human in this au so basically he can’t go to the doctor#anyways he’s up to here in aromatherapy and ashwagandha and whatever else
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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