#i just wish so many things were less of an unknown

[ingravinoveritas]

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had a presurgical appointment for the procedure to have cysts removed from my ovaries, and tomorrow is the big day when it happens. Feeling a little bit nervous, but mostly trying to keep calm and carry on with a little mantra that I'm repeating in my head. At least it will be all over and I'll be on my way home and recovering before I know it...

[aeolianblues]

I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life

[call-me-strega]

Dc x Dp prompt #13: Hell to Pay

They say there are only two things certain in life: death and taxes. That’s why even the Joker doesn’t fuck with the IRS.

However, unfortunately for the Joker the other certainty is death and he has yet to pay his dues. Just like how he could only get away with tax evasion for so long, there are only so many times the Joker can dodge death.

Death is coming to collect, with interest.

And the Joker will have hell to pay.

~ A dark green cloud swirls over the city. From it, emerge three oppressive figures:

The one on the far left with flowing hair like white-hot fire. His vambraces made of (what appeared to be) molten glass stopped under his fingers, which then extend into into claws that seemed to drip lava. He had spiked obsidian pauldrons on his shoulders, fastening a luminous, stark-white cape to his shoulders. He wore a coronet of lightning and wielded a flail that appeared to be made of coal chains and a shrunken Red Giant star.

The second on the far right had a helm of dark iron wreathed in a plume of purple flame. His gauntlets and sword flamed with green hellfire. A pure black sheath seemingly made of void and a silver hunting horn were tied to his waist. He wore an armor forged of shadows and proofed with fear. He rode atop a mighty stead. An inky dark stallion with a curved horn and bat-like wings. His form was constantly slightly shifting depending on the angle which you viewed him making him appear larger and more slippery than he was, enhancing his disquieting nature.

The third stood in the middle, smaller but no less terrifying than her companions. Her hair was wild with movement, only just visible because it appeared as if someone had bound the winds to her head. She wore a tiara made of storm clouds and pearls. She carried with her a spear, the shaft crafted of amazonite and the tip of a clear quartz, almost reminiscent of sea salt. At her hip lay a whip made of a restrained gale and a sea glass knife. She wore armor that appeared to be Greco-Roman in origin: a chest plate made of some sort of coral-like material and a battle skirt decorated with metallic bronze feathers.

They slowly descent on the city, bringing down a sense of power and dread. They paused at the top of Wayne Tower, where the city's vigilantes had all gathered in an attempt to create and feasible plan of action to discern what these beings want. The young woman in the middle speaks and the wind carries her voice. She is not loud but it the whole of Gotham hears her words.

"Greetings, Heroes of Gotham. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Spirit, Princess and Head Diplomat of the Infinite Realms. This is Samhain, the Fright Knight, loyal knight to the king,” she gestured to her right before switching to her left “and this is Prince Wraith, current General in Chief of the Realms. We come to you as the King’s Guard and entourage. We have official business in your city and wish to civilly notify you of our presence. The King will be arriving shortly and your cooperation would be great fully received.”

Batman moved forward to shake her hand and address the situation.

“I’m afraid that we prefer not to have unknowns operating within the city. Would you be able to tell us what business you have here? Perhaps we could reach an agreement?” Batman tried to negotiate as politely as he could. He did not want to risk offending the evidently powerful beings.

Princess Spirit’s smile sharpened as she thrummed her finger against her knife. She spoke again with an unnervingly pleasant tone.

“It appears you do not understand. We are not asking for your permission.” Her grip around his hand tightened. “ We are informing you.” She finished releasing his hand.

Batman withdrew his aching hand and regarded her with the beginnings of a protest on his lips. She didn’t allow him to speak.

“ This is out of your jurisdiction Batman. This is a matter of the Realms and the Afterlife. Whatever worldly rules or morals you wish to impose on those who enter this city do not apply to us. We will do our best to work within them, so as to appease you and to attempt to maintain a friendly relationship but in the macrocosm of the multiverse and afterlives you have no official power over us. Additionally, we have direct permission to operate here however we see fit from the City Spirit herself, Lady Gotham.”

Batman’s shadow seemed to fluctuated. His and his team's shadows moved from beneath them, closer to the Princess. Lady Gotham, though not manifesting, was making her presence and approval known. Batman could not deny what he was seeing. His team shifted uncomfortably behind him. He appealed to her once more.

“ I see that we can’t stop you. We don’t want to get in your way either. Could you at least tell us why you are here?”

She smiled as if telling a joke, “All will be revealed in time”

Suddenly, there was a loud noise that sounded like tearing fabric. The green clouds mixed with purples and blues and began to churn faster. The cyclone emitted a flashes of bright light. In unison all three of the King’s Guard lifted up from the roof and took place underneath the eye of the wind storm.

Spirit holds her spear aloft. With one swift, commanding move she slams the butt of her spear down, creating a platform out of solidified air.

Wraith bellows out smoke and ash onto the platform to discolor it. With ferocious and precise movements his claws to carve in a sigil, leaving a soft orange glow against the black and gray.

Samhain sheathes his sword and pulls his horn from his waist. He wills his dark stead to rear up as he blows the horn, letting out one loud prolonged cry.

The three warriors stand at attention and Princess Spirit calls the winds to project her voice once more.

“ Now introducing the Ruler of the Infinite Realms, High King of the In-Between, The Great One, The Benevolent King, The Peace Maker, The Guardian of Souls, The One with the Cloak of Stars and the Crown of Frozen Light, The Perfect Balance, Ancient of Space and Reality, The Infinite King: Phantom!”

With a flash of white light a figure appear in the center of the platform. Simultaneously, the three knights bow in reverence.

The King has arrived.

As the Heroes of Gotham regain clear vision they are met with a striking figure.

There stood a toned young man appearing both boyishly young, yet wisened and weathered. He had side swept hair the creeped to the bottom of his neck. His skin was pale with an icy blue tint. He opened his eyes to reveal they shone an electric green. Upon his head rest a crown made of a crystalline material, reminiscent of an aurora. He wore a navy blue cloak that had a rich purple hood lined with stark white fur. The underside displayed a shifting galaxy pattern. His under suit was the same midnight black as Samhain’s. He donned golden arm bands and a gold chest plate in style quite similar to Spirit’s. His hand were covered in snow white gauntlets that matched Wraith’s vambraces.

They all stood in awe, beholden to the almost divine figure.

The king sent them a gentle smile. It was warm and comforting yet sent a chill down their shoulders.

King Phantom began to fly down toward the center of the city, his entourage fell into step behind him. He hovered several hundred feet over Wayne tower and looked down at the city. He then spoke in a booming voice, his tone kind but commanding.

“ I humbly greet the Lady Gotham, her champions, and her citizens,” the shadows curled toward him appreciatively. “ I am grateful for your cooperation in our effort to rectify a great injustice. As High King of the Infinite Realms it is one of my duties to preside over the afterlife. To bring guidance, peace, and justice to the souls under my jurisdiction. Recently, it has been brought to my attention that there is a soul among you who has not only dodged death, but caused great strife to a vast number of souls who call for justice.”

On the roof of Wayne Enterprises Jason and Damian both stiffen, but remain firm in their gaze toward the king. The king looks out at the city and sparing them the quickest of glances. He continues onward.

“ The man formerly know as Jack Napier, now called The Joker. He has avoided death on many an occasion but his life should have ended moment he fell into a vat of chemicals. Since then he has sent hundreds more to the afterlife. He has long yet to pay his dues. That is why on the behalf of justice, restoring balance, and of my subjects I officially condemn Jack Napier.”

“Jack Napier, you have been allowed 24 hours turn yourself into our custody in order to be put on trial for your crimes in the Infinite Realms. Should you fail to turn youself in, we shall take that as an admission of guilt and acceptance to be punished for your actions. After the 24 hours are up, Samhain shall use his horn to summon The Hunt and we shall track you down.”

His gaze passed specifically over Red Hood, one of the Oracle’s drones, Nightwing, Signal, Red Robin, and Batman before he spoke his next words.

“All those souls who have been wronged by the Joker, both living and deceased, who wish to have a hand in their justice have been invited to join The Hunt if they so choose.”

The king lifted his hand, calling the swirling green clouds to his gather in his palm. The clouds swiftly rearranged themselves into a smokey timer hanging in the sky.

An impish smirk graced King Phantom’s face as he let out a malicious laugh and gave his final decree.

“ Your time begins now!”

[777rare]

12TH HOUSE OBSERVATIONS PT.1

THESE NOTES ARE ONLY A STUDY OF MINE AND HAS/HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN YET, SO IF IT DOES NOT RESONATE WITH YOU, FORGIVE ME AS IT WAS ONLY A STUDY/OBSERVATION OF MINE.

I DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, COPY OR REWORD ANY OF MY FELLOW ASTROLOGY OBSERVERS POSTS AND I DEMAND THE SAME IN RETURN.

This post will only be about the studies I've done on the 12th house since that house fascinates me the most out of all the houses in astrology. When it comes to the 12th house, I will also be talking about Neptune and Pisces since they are deeply connected to this house. Even Jupiter is the lord of the 12th house but Neptune qualities are more at prominent with this house.

🩸 In astrology the 12th house represents:

the bed

hospitals

monasteries

foreign lands

secrets

subconscious mind

sleep

dreams

jail, imprisonment

mental asylum

isolation

past lifetimes

Ancestors

past life karma

confined places

the feet

bathroom

large animals like elephants

forests

the unknown

bondage

lifespan and death

bed pleasures

the root chakra

unexpressed emotions

Fake names/identities formed to hide another

The need for Solitude or just solitude in general

Relief work/ how we help others

Some sort of Weapon used against us

🩸Those who have 12th house and/or pisces placements and/or stellium are :

Compassionate

Sensitive

Mystical and mysterious

emotional

Dreamy or a dreamer

Always alert

Individuals with high levels of awareness

Delicate

Merciful and soft-hearted

Lenient

Pitiful

Prone to addictions

🩸I have observed that the 12th house is like a bottomless pit. The 12th house is like a dream, no end and no beginning. Since even Jupiter is the ruler of this house, he enlarges the qualities of planets sitting in this house but because of Neptunes severe prominence, though everything is enlarged, everything is also lost in a heavy fog.

🩸The 12th house is a place of complete darkness, like a black hole. Whatever goes into the black hole disappears in thin air, as if it never existed to begin with. Planets that sit here often have their effects go unrecognised by others in natives.

🩸There is a lack of recognition of the subjects related to the planet in the 12th house, in a persons chart, by others.

Examples:

•A native having mercury in the 12th house is smart, even if it's not in a geeky way, but others often assume them to be dumb.

•A native having moon in the 12th house or pisces are quite understanding people who do care about how others feel but this often goes unrecognised and people assume they care less about how others feel. These individuals are actually very emotional in private.

•A native having Venus in the 12th house actually love very very deeply once they begin loving someone and wish for the deepest intimacy possible with them but they are often termed as heartbreakers and flaky people (the zodiac matters too) who ghost their partners. I have this placement too and so many people have called me a heartbreaker even though I have actually never dated due to my fear of betrayal and have never had anyone confess their feelings for me.

Short story: I did fall in love with someone I was friends with for the first time and I loved that person so so much to the point I waited for 3 years to finally ask them to be mine but I was friendzoned, and then given insane amounts of mixed signals and then realised I was being played with cuz that person dated so many girls at one go and all of them were my friends. It took me 3 years to get over that person. I still think of them though but that's far from the point.

•Natives having 12th house and/or Pisces stellium are the ones who feel everything, even that which cannot be seen, felt, or heard. They are the black sheep in the crowd and no matter how much they fit in with a group, they tend to feel left out or less significant.

These natives have their mind locked up with their demons so their minds are tortured and always overthinking the tiniest of things even though nothing bad is happening.

They often contemplate so much and have an infinite amount of questions when it comes to the truth of life, existence and all things universal. 12th house and/or pisces stellium natives are also the people who appear and disappear Outta nowhere...by this I don't mean just physically, I mean emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically and so on.

These natives tend to get lost very easily and often wander around, just admiring existence and nature. These natives love love loveee spending time alone with nature. You can't pin them down because they never touch the ground, they're always in the clouds, dreaming and living the pinterest life in their head.

They also quite dramatic in nature, like drama queens or kings, lol. No doubt, these individuals are spiritual and highly imaginative. These natives are also misunderstood and are emotionally and/or mentally isolated from the human race.

They often desire to leave Earth and fly away to space. This is a huge indicator of a starseed. These people are drawn to extra terrestrial beings and the unknown. Their curiosity runs as deep as the bottomless pit.

•What a 12th house stellium, pisces stellium, and/or mercury retrograde would say when asked to explain their feelings:

"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself" - Franz Kafka (giving credit)

•How Venus in 12th house people love:

"In a language so old that even the Earth no longer remembers."

•How a person with a 12th house stellium would label themselves:

"People label themselves with all sorts of adjectives. I can only pronounce myself as 'nauseatingly miserable beyond repair'." - Franz Kafka (giving credit)

As a pisces venus (in the 12th house), It is not easy for us all pisces venus natives out there to fall in love and fall out of love with someone...we do find many attractive due to us admiring mostly anything around us but falling in love is a huge deal for us.

We don't just decide to fall in love with someone cuz we find something attractive in them, we value companionship and depth more than anything ( if you have earth sign placements mainly).

So falling in love is extremely soul crushing for us...and falling out of love? Nuh-uh, never happens...we never fall out of love with the person we fall in love with.

No matter how many years pass by, we will maybe accept fate and move forward in life but our heart has a special place for that person we once spoke with....for us, love is more of a painful tragedy that pushes us to sacrifice what we need the most and that weirdly makes us softer as we grow.

When you tell us to move on from someone or convince us that that person we love is not worth it, we wouldn't listen to you cuz when it comes to the matters of the heart, we never listen to anyone but ourselves...our inner voice.

To us love is never wasted because to us love does not rest on reciprocity. We will love with all our heart and no matter how hard our heart breaks, our heart heals back to a stronger one with an unwavering heartbeat that stops at nothing.

The effects of 12th house and the 8th house placements are quite similar but very different at the same time. There is extreme intensity and depth with these houses but the 12th house is much deeper and darker than the 8th house.

Anyways, Thankyou so much for turning in!

I hope you enjoyed this post about the 12th house😊 I will be posting a part 2 as well because I reached the word limit, but again thankyou for your time! ❤️🌻 I hope you all have a bright day ahead!

[rationaliity]

new lesson | aeon! dr. ratio x f. reader ( 18+ )

not a continuation post but more like a horny extra sideplot you're welcome you freaks /j in which our aeon ratio has come to learn that he, too, has human desires. he's perhaps a little too fond of his emanator, and perhaps his emanator is a little too pretty for him to be able to control himself. my aeon ratio plot here tags : face fucking, mind break, power play, mind control, consensual nonconsent that turns into to consent, painful sex, womb penetration, dacryphilia, asphyxiation, begging / whining / crying, use of the term 'girl', religious imagery sorta, ratio has a huge dick and it hurts, he also doesn't know the limits of the human body and pushes you way past yours, coercion almost, obsession, mention of stalking, yandere ratio, reader almost loses consciousness twice, struggling, afab anatomy, finger fucking, possessiveness, mean ratio calls you a failure once god x disciple word count : roughly 4000

the aeon of dissemination has taught you plenty while you were underneath his tutelage. so many whispers of the cosmos that others would fail to hear, so many secrets untold, shared only by those in the know. an all-powerful being with much more power than you could ever hope to know, yes, and yet.. during your private lessons together, you found yourself bearing witness to his more human side more often than not. your time together was much less a deity whispering incomprehensible knowledge to his devout pupil, and much more a civil conversation between humans. almost.

you were his emanator, which meant that you derived your power directly from him. this caused you to be able to reach heights previously unknown to you, but it also became your shackles. you were bound to his word, for his word was law. if he told you to bark, you would bark. you had no choice in the matter. if he told you to, by any chance, strip down and worship naked at his feet, well, you couldn't deny him that, either.

ratio had grown to enjoy his time with you. no, rather, he had grown fond of you. you learned quickly, you asked the right questions, you were beautiful, and kind. you were everything he wished for in a companion. even aeons get lonely too, surely you understood that. he found himself curious about you while you were away from him, often opting to lose his corporeal form and watch you from the shadows. he had always preferred doing things from the shadows, anyways, so this was nothing new.

you were beautiful. not just in your mind, but your body, too, something that ratio hated to admit. he had assumed, wrongly, that he had no attraction to human bodies, only human minds. but yours.. it stirred something in him, made him question himself. his motives, his.. desires.

and he desired you. he wanted that to be clear, and yet he bided his time, waiting patiently in the shadows of your home for the next time he would summon you before him, something coming up rather soon.

as you arrived within his domain - a huge, expansive, never ending library filled from top to bottom of books on everything in the universe. no matter how obscure, you could find the information you were seeking in front of you, from the tiniest of details of the most unknown planets to the biggest complexities of the cosmos.

" dr. ratio, it's good to see you again, " you called out, approaching his throne, sat in the center, surrounded by bookshelves covering every side by the front. there, ratio was sat, his legs crossed with an old book in his hand. " i pray you're doing well ? "

" i am, " he nodded, his demanding gaze flickering from the book to you, taking in your every single move. ratio snapped his book closed, his eyes never leaving yours, leaning forward in his throne. " i have been reading about human pleasure. it has been a subject previously untouched by me, but as you know, one must encapsulate all things to be able to full grasp the complexities of life. "

you stopped in your tracks, stunned. he had been reading about.. human pleasure ? you swallowed thickly, allowing yourself an awkward, small laugh, your hand coming up to the back of your head as you tried to figure out what to do with yourself under his gaze. " oh ! i.. see. it's surprising that you've just uncovered this now, considering your knowledge in human psychology. "

" would you say that those two things overlap ? " he asked, the book resting on his lap now, completely forgotten about now that he was in your presence, the human that had made the aeon of dissemination question himself.

" well.. they're definitely related, " you started, thinking about how to properly explain yourself before you said anything further, a quality that he admired. " human desires are just the culmination of inherently desirable qualities in a partner, right ? those who take a more submissive role often desire dominant partners in all aspects of their life, not just in the bedroom. of course, there are exceptions, but it could be used as a rule of thumb for understanding how humans interact with one another in a romantic and sexual sense. "

your explanation earned you the briefest of nods. " would you say that you yourself are in this broad generalization ? or are you an exception ? " he asked, his words low and gruff, like he was waiting on your answer to his question. " you, who dominates so much of your life. you teach the willing, guide them towards knowledge. not many would be above you in status, i presume. would you consider yourself in need of a partner who you can take control of, too, or would you rather.. be controlled ? "

you hesitated, something that he noticed. were you not willing to share such details with him ? was it because of his status, or simply because of your nature ? you were rather introverted, although not necessarily completely since you could command a room with just the tone of your voice. well, almost every room. this was one room that you had no control over.

you were confused, but mostly, you were curious. why did he want to know ? what was he gaining from learning such private and intimate details about yourself ? this was the first time that he had asked such revealing questions to you, although you weren't unaware of his recent curiosity with your life outside of the walls of this library. this was the first time he had actually shown any type of interest in you, and to be quite frank, it unnerved you a little bit. but if ratio asks a question, it gets answered. that much, you knew. " i.. find myself leaning towards the submissive role in bed. i prefer if my partner could.. command me, sometimes, and take control whenever possible. "

dr. ratio didn't say anything for a while, his eyes narrowing slightly, his legs uncrossing as he examined you from top to bottom, taking in your attire, and taking it off in his mind. he needed to know why he felt these desires towards you. he needed to know why you, specifically, out of everyone that he had interacted with within the cosmos, earned his gaze in a way that no others did. he didn't even know that he had these baser, more carnal instincts.

" now, who would be able to control you ? you, an emanator of the dissemination, a being with knowledge vast beyond most mortal comprehension, " his eyes sparkled with something as he beckoned you forward, signaling for you to get on your knees in front of him, something that he very rarely did. and yet you complied, and his interest in this situation only grew. " who could control you.. other than myself ? "

kneeling down in front of him, and looking up at his eyes, you sucked in a breath, your heart beginning to race in your chest as you thought about the implications of his words. were you truly interpreting his words correctly, or was this another one of his many wise warnings that he often bestowed upon you when you have strayed too far away from your chosen path ? and yet, you could see the smirk on his otherwise stoic face, and you knew that you weren't misunderstanding his words.

" strip for me, girl. " you felt that throbbing pain in your head that momentarily disorientated you, your hand rushing up to grab your forehead as you swayed slightly. you swore you could feel every single nerve in your body standing on end, a warning for what was to come. yet, this was not the feeling inside of you that you got when he was commanding you to do something that you had no choice in the matter of, you knew this for a fact because he had done that to you a few times while trying to guide you towards the correct path. you had no idea what this was, other than to perhaps remind you of his power over you.

nevertheless, even while bursting with embarrassment, you obliged, first taking off your purple blazer, undoing the buttons of your white dress shirt and slipping it off of your shoulders, before finally your skirt, something that made you more nervous than revealing your chest in front of him. you stood up onto your knees, bringing yourself in between his legs as you pulled your skirt and underwear down at the same time, letting the fabric pool beneath you at your knees.

" good girl, you're such a good girl, " he whispered, his hand reaching out, gently petting your head before combing through your hair, his gaze revealing nothing about his intentions, only the hunger inside of him. you'd only ever seen this look in his eyes whenever he was learning, and perhaps, in a way, he was learning something. " come closer. i trust you're experienced in this area, or should i teach you the basics ? "

you shuffled closer, your hands on your thighs as you didn't dare touch him. " i.. have a little experience, but not a lot. my apologies, i.. my lifestyle doesn't exactly allow me to often indulge in these kinds of.. activities with others. " you were just inches away from him, your face so close to his body, his crotch. you had so many questions. was this all just an elaborate test of sorts ? did he truly intend to teach you how to pleasure him ?

did he even have the anatomy for such a lewd idea ?

" it's okay, " he answered, as if hearing your thoughts, which he likely did. he was a being of immeasurable power, after all. and yet here he was, exerting his control over you and yet at the same time, losing his cool like a lovesick fool unable to keep himself together in the face of a beautiful person. " i'm rather fond of willing students, so don't worry. you'll learn, i am sure of that. you're a very capable being, after all. "

" this body is human in all capacities, " he continued, his hand still on the back of your head, subtly pulling you closer. " i originally believed it to be human in all ways except for the brain, but i believe i have been incorrect. it seems this form, no, i retain many of humanities baser, more carnal instincts. i would like you to service me. you may begin with removing this trousers from me. i will guide you, but i'll warn you, i won't be gentle. "

all you could muster was a small nod, your hands finding their way to his pants, shaking with nervousness, and also maybe just a twinge of excitement. here, you would have an aeon underneath your touch, begging for you. surely this was a pleasure that not many got to partake in. you could see it straining against the fabric of his pants, begging to be released, and you couldn't help but purse your lips together nervously, taken aback by its size.

finally working up the courage, you unzipped his trousers, pulling them from his hips down to his legs, letting the fabric fall beneath him onto your lap, leaving him in just his underwear, his cock pressed up against his leg, the bulge in his underwear now impossible to ignore. you looked up again at him for confirmation, to which he just nodded. " proceed. show me your worthiness to be at my side. take me into your mouth. if you don't think you can do it, i will guide you. "

you bit your bottom lip, your nervousness slowly turning into palpable excitement as you finally pulled his underwear off of him, freeing his cock from its confines once and for all. he was bigger than you'd expected, with precum messily coating his bulbous tip. he was huge, so much bigger than anything you've ever seen before, making all other sexual situation you'd been in before this one become meaningless in comparison. ratio's grip on the back of your head tightened, almost painful as he leaned you forward, giving you virtually no choice but to comply with his demands.

nervously, you kitten licked the head of his cock, one of your hands holding the base of it so you could bring it to your mouth. determination to prove yourself filled you, along with undeniable arousal, but you knew that there was simply no way to take all of him in your mouth without pitifully choking, and he must've been aware, too. you began to bob your head up and down his length, feeling an unfamiliar sting in the back of your throat every time the head of his cock hit the back of your throat.

you continued this for a moment, earning contented groans from his lips, until you found your throat constricting involuntarily at the intrusion. you gagged, pulling away from him completely as you coughed, feeling your stomach do backflips.

if you couldn't take it properly without struggling, he decided, then ratio would just have to force you to take his cock to show you how it's done, even if you gag around him. his expression darkened as he pulled your head towards him, forcing himself deep into your mouth. you gagged almost immediately, your hands grabbing at his thighs as he controlled your head, forcing you to take more of his cock.

" you can't handle my size ? you're pathetic. a failure, " his voice was filled with disappointment and anger, and you could do nothing but look up at him, tears forming in your eyes from his bruising pace as he fucked your face without mercy. you couldn't breathe properly, struggling against him weakly, your nails digging into the flesh of his thighs, not out of disobedience for him, but because when humans feel as though they're dying or they can't breathe, they often try to fight to get their airway back, struggling uselessly.

" i'll show you how to please me properly, " ratio's hand pulled and pushed your head with your hair, his hips thrusting his cock deeper into your throat. your gagging is ignored as you choke around him. " fuck. yes, that's it. take it. learn to swallow my cock. learn to love it, " he threw his head back, groaning underneath his breath. " you can be so good at this, i know you can. "

he wasn't stopping, especially not when he was finally starting to feel good because of you, the pleasure building up inside of him. tears began to streak down your reddening face, your eyebrows creased together as you struggled. ratio fucked your face relentlessly, thrusting inside of your mouth and using you like his own personal fucktoy. finally, the resistance in your throat gave way after a particularly harsh thrust, and he penetrated your throat, his cock so deep inside of you that you couldn't breathe at all anymore. your eyes widened, your heart beating against your chest, the painful lesson beginning to take root.

despite the treatment, your slick was pooling between your thighs, creating a puddle of it beneath you. his rough treatment turned you on more than you'd ever thought possible.

ratio seemed to notice this, his tone holding a hint of amusement as he used your face, your nose pressed up against his pubic bone, his balls resting on your chin. " can't breathe ? perhaps you prefer i choke you completely like this ? you're enjoying it, craving it like a drug now. i must say, i find myself captivated by your abilities, too. "

you could feel your own helplessness, the power that he held over you surpassing even what you thought possible. you understood this lesson, although you could feel your head starting to fog up with the lack of air. you were trying desperately to find a way to breathe around his cock, but he was too deep in your throat, clogging up your airway. his guide on your head became painful as ratio invaded your body.

your eyes rolled back, your hands falling down to your side as you almost lost consciousness. finally, before you could truly lose yourself to the black abyss, he pulled your head up off of him, letting you gasp and choke, all of the spit that he was keeping in your mouth slipping down your lips, covering your chest and lap as you coughed up the air, blinking rapidly to familiarize yourself with being able to breathe again. your stomach was churning, and you damn near threw up everything that you had eaten for breakfast that morning. you felt weightless and incredibly heavy at the same time.

" you're a good girl. you learn quickly, " he smirked, his voice filled with satisfaction as he watched you catch your breath. finally, he stood up, his cock still throbbing painfully, ready to finally take what he'd wanted. " turn around, girl. "

that painful feeling in your head came back, causing you to wince in pain as he commanded you to turn around. finally agreeing, you turned around on your knees, looking away from him. his large hand pushed at your back, knocking you onto your hands, your ass up in the air for him to see. ratio had made himself comfortable with being in between your legs, his eyes admiring your naked form, seeing your pretty folds glistening with so much slick it was dripping down your thighs.

" such a pretty little thing. human bodies are beautiful beyond compare, even in the eyes to an aeon, but yours ? oh, yours is magnificent. truly, you are worthy of being by my side, " his voice was low as two of his fingers penetrated your wetness, testing your readiness for what was to come. he savored the feeling of your tightness around him, the way your muscles gripped his digits.

you gasped, letting out a whiny, pathetic little noise as you moaned, your back arching as his fingers hit that special spot inside of you, caressing it in such a way that had you drooling like a dumb mutt on your knees in seconds. his fingers moved rhythmically, his gaze on where they disappeared and reappeared from your body. the anticipation was building within him, and he found himself fucking you faster with his fingers, enjoying every tiny little mewl and whine of pleasure as it came from your bruised throat.

your cries of pleasure fueled him, the sight of you writhing, begging, and ultimately submitting to him was almost as satisfying as the power he held over you. " that's it. you're such a good girl. " without warning you, he pulled his fingers out from you, your body clenching around nothing as your moans quickly turned into gasps. " you're going to take me now, yeah ? submit to me, and i promise you a lesson that you'll never forget. "

your eyes widened, even though you knew ratio couldn't see it, and you felt your anxiety spike. " y-you can't..! i-it's too big, it'll break me, please ! " you begged, but your voice was falling on deaf ears as one of his hands gripped your hips, guiding his shaft to your entrance.

" your body is resilient, and i'm confident it'll accommodate me, " with a swift motion, he pushed into you, his cock stretching her wide. you cried out, your body tensing as he slowly withdrew and thrust again, just testing the waters of what you could and couldn't take. as his entire length disappeared inside of you, he couldn't stop his hips from snapping up, pounding his cock into you.

your scream of pleasure filled this vast library, a symphony of pain and pleasure. " a-ah, fuck..! your cock, i-its- it hu-hurts, 's too big.. " you sobbed, babbling on like an idiot, your words incomprehensible, your voice hiccupping in your throat. you were feeling like you were being split in half from him, like your body wasn't yours anymore. just like you suspected earlier, no other human man you'd had sex with previously compared to him, and you'd never quite be able to get fucked like this again if it weren't ratio.

ratio leaned down, his body pressed against yours, whispering in your ear, " you love this, yeah ? its painful, but it feels amazing. " his hips pumped faster, your cries echoing through the library with each thrust. your protests turned into pleas, your words lost in your ecstasy. " i want you to come for me. you'll cum again, and again, and again, until you belong to me entirely. you'll cum for me, and say my fucking name, " he promised.

you cried out, your sobs and moans mingling together as you struggled to figure out what you wanted to do, whether or not you wanted to pull him closer or force him away all at once. you were going to cum, and there was nothing you could do about it other than let him fuck you like he wanted to. pain and pleasure mingled together, but not so much as when he slammed into you with all of his body weight, the tightness of your body giving way as the head of his cock breached your womb. " v-veritas..! " you moaned out, and it all exploded within you, your pussy clenching around him as he fucked you through your orgasm, the pain of him breaching your womb and the pleasure of his fucking being far, far too much for you to take.

ratio grunted, feeling your walls squeeze around his cock as she came, milking him, too. the sensation was exquisite, his thrusts becoming frantic as he fucked himself into you as your arms gave out from underneath your, your face planting into the cold tile below. at this point, he was focused solely on his own gratification, pumping into you as your hips met his, your moans like a beautiful lullaby to his ears. " g-goddammit, " he swore, his balls drawing tight, his orgasm imminent at this point. he pulled your hips into his, his cock pulsing deep within you as his orgasm washed over him in waves, filling you completely with his seed, causing you to mewl out pitifully in response.

finally, he pulled out, his cum spilling out from your pretty pussy, dripping onto the floor beneath the two of you. he helped pick you up, cradling your body in his arms as the two of you rest at the foot of his throne together. you were nestled against his chest, your breathing coming out raggedly as you looked up at him, your eyes half closed and your body weak. ratio had breached you completely, filled you up in ways that you didn't even know possible. such was the ways of an aeon, you thought, unable to fight back against him even if you wanted to.

" you've taught me a lot about the human body, " ratio whispered, content just to hold you there, his voice holding a hint of vulnerability. " no, the human body, and perhaps the human mind, too. my own mind. thank you for this lesson, dear emanator. "

perhaps being an emanator didn't always mean that you held all of the power. after all, there will always be a being with more power than you.

[really-fanny-longbottom]

i hate that i love you

reader x azriel | they were once best friends and almost something more, but now they are enemies with a burning, unresolved desire—they promised to never cross the line that they drew, but one night it’s all it takes to forget that promise.

warnings: suggestive language, smut & curse words.

words: 5.7k

a/n: i decided to try something different, it was my first time writing something like this, so, i hope i did well.

masterlist

hate—a feeling of intense animosity, aversion, or disgust toward something or someone.

the perfect definition to describe the relationship with the person you hate most in this world.

the male known throughout the entire territorial expanse of prythian.

the male known by many names and titles.

the male that many fear but that you have to restrain yourself from punching every time you see him.

the male that irritates you as easily as he snaps his fingers and that makes your blood boil like water in a kettle.

azriel.

the infamous shadowsinger.

the relentless spymaster of the night court.

one of the most famous illyria's bastards.

who else could it be? 

everyone who knew you, or had heard whispers of your name, knew that you and azriel were opposites of each other.

where one was, the other could not be.

and if you both happened to be together in the same space, screams, insults, and fists were to be expected. 

it was rare the moments when you two went from verbal to physical but never impossible.

the members of the inner circle—rhysand, cassian, morrigan and amren—were witnesses to such a fact.

in fact, the first three had been the witnesses to the downfall of your relationship with azriel, because yes, you weren't always enemies.

no, you had been friends—best friends—in times that were now unknown, that were now covered by a fog between reality and imagination. 

you and azriel had hated each other for so long now, that your family wasn’t really sure if there was ever a time where you two had actually got along. 

four hundred years had passed.

four hundred years of pure hatred, resentment, anger and brutal animosity.

and to this day, none of them had any idea of what had happened between you—not even a clue of what might have happened, much less a theory of what really happened.

you had been inseparable. your relationship had been the envy of many who wished the same—a loyalty, trust, respect and affection like no other.

cassian and rhysand went as far as to make bets on when the two of you would finally give in, put your stubbornness aside and assume your feelings for each other.

the three friends were absolutely certain that you were destined for each other and that there was no way you would not end up together. 

but it seems that fate had other plans.

from one day to the next, just a few hours apart, in a matter of a second, everything changed. 

the sparkle in your eyes that was reserved only for azriel faded, and the smile that azriel had unlocked from his coldness and indifference meant only for you, disappeared.

over the years, the inner circle tried to reconcile you, hoping that you could put the past where it belonged and start over.

several plans were put into action, one attempt after another, but always without success.

it came very close to the desired result on many occasions, but it simply never happened.

despite everything, all the conversations, all the attempts, the two of you were never able to forget whatever had happened.

you and him would never be the same again.

and so, the inner circle stopped trying. 

but things were different now. 

everything had changed after the fall of amarantha and the liberation of prythian from her clutches.

new people had entered your lives, new alliances had been formed, and a rebuilding of a new world had begun.

but those weren’t the only changes that had occurred.

your relationship with azriel had also changed—much to your displeasure and surprise.

after all, you were no longer just enemies bound by a past.

you were now bound for the rest of your lives by a golden thread around your hearts that extended to the heart of the other.

mates. 

funny how fate works, huh?

••• 

the living room was quiet, except for the sound of the cups of tea. 

and of course, the screams coming from upstairs—your screams and azriel’s.

rhysand sipped from his teacup, sitting next to feyre who was swirling the spoon to mix honey into her tea with cassian in front of him eating a cookie while nesta tried to read a book.

rhysand sighed and ran a hand over his face, “it’s going to be a long night.”

feyre looked between cassian and rhysand, placing her teacup on the small coffee table to take a freshly baked cookie from the platter, “what exactly happened?” 

cassian answered her, his beard slightly stained with cookie crumbs. “they’re arguing about the mission. they both had different ideas about how to act and the mission ended up failing, now they blame each other.”

“you shouldn’t have sent them together,” nesta said, closing her book and holding it in her lap. 

“i know, but i had no choice, they were the only ones qualified for this mission.” rhysand defended himself, taking another sip of his tea.

before any of them could speak again, the sound of a door closing and locking echoed throughout the house, making the contents of the cups rattle. 

a minute of silence followed, all eyes fixed on the ceiling of the living room as if waiting for something.

“it seems like it’s over,” feyre whispered, as if afraid of breaking the peace that had been offered to them.

a peace that didn’t last long, because soon after they heard loud knocks on the door, followed by the calling of your name. 

“here we go again,” cassian said, biting his cookie.

••• 

firm, loud knocks sounded on your bedroom door, followed by a voice full of frustration and anger “let me in.” 

it was an order, you could tell by his tone, which only made you even more irritated.

“fuck you,” you replied back, as you finished unpacking your backpack and putting your clothes in their proper drawers.

the mission had been a fiasco and the last thing you wanted now was to continue this argument that seemed to have no end.

your blood was already boiling hot, a little push and things would be taking a very different direction. 

he knocked harder on the door, the wood creaking with the action. if that wasn’t proof of how angry he was too, his next response was.

“open the fucking door.”

“no.”

a firm and low whisper of your name escaped between his lips as a form of warning “i will barge through this door if you don’t open it right now.” 

you scoffed at his words, rolling your eyes at him even though he couldn't see you, “i'm sorry, i don't remember asking you anything.”

you didn't need your fae hearing to hear the growl he gave, you could feel his temper rising right through the door. 

he stopped knocking and you heard him turn the doorknob in hopes of opening the door, which brought a smirk to your face.

“idiot,” you whispered, your eyes on the t-shirt you were folding.

“i heard that,” a particularly loud knock landed on the door, which only caused your smirk to widen even more.

“good, that’s a sign that your old age isn’t catching up with you.”

a second whisper of your name reached your ears and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes a second time. 

“go bother someone else,” you said, your voice a little louder than usual, a sign that your patience was starting to wear thin.

“you're my mate. you're enough for now.” 

you stopped your movements and closed your eyes.

mate.

that word.

that damned, damned, damned word. 

such a small word but that it was enough to awaken the bond.

and just like that, all of your walls were down and you and azriel were one.

there was no line where you began and he ended.

the bond was strong enough to make you feel things that took all your willpower to keep from happening. 

but there were times you just couldn't resist to act on it, and this moment, was one of those times.

you left the rest of your clothes unfolded and headed towards the door before turning the key and unlocking it.

you could only hope that you were only opening the door to your bedroom for the male and not the doors to your heart. 

as you returned to your previous position, grabbing all the unfolded clothes and discarding it on the desk chair, the door to your bedroom opened.

azriel swung the door open, stepping inside the bedroom before shutting it behind him.

he leaned against it, bringing his arms to cross over his chest. his eyes darkened at the sight of you.

you were, now, standing at the foot of your bed, in just a pair of black lacy panties and a t-shirt that was about two inches down your belly button.

his expression softened slightly, making his anger falter for a second before, “when i tell you to do something, you do it. it's not a request.”

you had to bite your tongue to keep you from snapping at him. 

you knew he was talking about the mission—again—and you, at this point, were more than fed up with that talk, so, you weren't going to continue to fuel that discussion. 

you turned to him, your eyes meeting his, “excuse me? say that again and my hand will be on your face faster than you can pronounce the word ‘mommy’.” 

azriel pushed himself off the door and walked towards you, he now wore a smirk on his face caused by your words. 

“go ahead, love. i won’t stop you,” he said, his tone dripping with that arrogant confidence of his, “even though you’re just all talk, you and i both know you don’t have the guts to lay a finger on me.”

the corners of your lips rose, and you studied him as he got closer and closer to you, his eyes sliding over your figure.

you took advantage of his brief moment of distraction to stretch your arm behind you towards the bag before grabbing your favorite object, the one that could describe you in the best way—brilliant and lethal.

one moment the male's eyes were on your legs, and then they were on the blade of the dagger that was now pressed against the skin of his neck, the cold material contrasting with his warm skin.

"are you sure about that, shadowsinger?" your smirk remained intact as you studied his reaction.

your smirk turned into a full grin, a hint of amusement in your eyes, “what’s wrong, baby? cat got your tongue?”

just like your smirk, azriel's also changed, his eyes taking on the same amusement as yours and when he took a step back, you took a step forward.

“you don’t look very threatening right now, love.” his hand found your hip, but somehow, to his surprise, you didn't push it away.

he took the chance to slide his hand under your small shirt to rest in the same place as before, but with his scarred hand now touching your soft skin.

“i’m not your ‘love’.” you said, the tip of your dagger pressing a little harder against his skin.

as a reflex, azriel lifted his chin to give you better access, his smile still in place, “you almost had me, love. but you are definitely giving me ‘bad girl on the outside but sweet girl on the inside’ sort of vibes.” 

you couldn't help but laugh, your eyes now shining with amusement at your banter “do you want to know what kind of vibes you give me?”

you continued to walk in sync, one step back and another forward until the male's back hit the wall, him resting his back against the surface at the same time his hand gave your hip a light squeeze.

“hm, do tell me, love.”

you leaned forward, just enough so that your chests were a few inches from touching and your voice lowered two tenths, your tone now low and sensual “small dick vibes.”

his smirk fell from his face, he clenched his jaw and his hand on your hip pulled you to stand closer to him while his free hand reached up slowly to wrap around your hand that was still holding the dagger against his skin “care to repeat that, love?”

you took another step towards him, your smirk never faltering for a second, “small dick vibes.”

he looked at you with a sharp gaze before his face turned into a smug expression, a grin forming on his lips as he tugged you closer to him and his voice dropping to almost a whisper, “hm, you want to find out just how big it is?”

his smile grew when this time, it was your smile that disappeared and something unknown shone in your eyes.

suddenly, your breathing become heavier and your heartbeat faster.

the mating bond playing its role in perfection at the worst of times.

“no. . . ” you managed to say after a long moment of silence in which you just stared into his hazel eyes.

azriel’s hand let go of your hand that was holding the sparkling object and reached out to touch you, pushing your hair behind your shoulder and then fitting it on your neck.

“your lips say no, but your body says a different answer.”

you snapped out of the trance you were in, all reactions due to his proximity, before pushing him against the wall and shaking his hands off you, “get off me.” 

he let you push him against the wall, placing his hands at his sides for support. a hint of irritation invaded his eyes while maintaining eye contact with you the entire time.

“are you going to use that dagger then, love? or are you just going to use your pretty little hands instead?”

when you didn’t respond back, his grin grew and he tilted his head down so his eyes were level with yours, and he spoke softly, in a tone of arrogance and sensuality, “or maybe you just want to use your pretty little mouth.”

the room was invaded by a loud noise as the palm of your hand made contact with his skin, causing his head to spin completely to the side with the impact.

“asshole,” you said, your voice almost a shout, as you watched his cheek turn red from your hard slap. 

he kept his head turned to the side for a moment as the room fell silent before slowly turning it back to you. 

his gaze was hard and his voice sharp when he spoke next, “gods, i fucking hate you,” he said before crashing his lips in yours.

•••

once again, all eyes were on the living room ceiling.

the family members were trying to detect any sounding—a scream, a slap, furniture breaking, anything.

but they found nothing.

complete silence.

slowly they lowered their hands to look at each others. 

“it's. . .quiet,” feyre said.

“that's. . .unusual, and concerning.” rhysand added, looking at cassian. 

“what do you think they're doing upstairs?” cassian asked, looking between the three of them.

“honestly,” nesta said, opening her book again and starting to read “probably killing each other.” 

•••

azriel’s hand slide to the back of your neck before gripping it firmly and pulling you against him, capturing your lips in a hard, demanding kiss, desperate to shut you up.

you didn’t waste a second in kissing him back, your hand dropping the dagger at your feet to find his face. 

his hand on your neck joined his free hand and both slid down to your ass, squeezing it for a moment, before sliding to the back of your thighs and lifting you off the ground.

your legs encircled his waist, a gesture that felt so natural, as if they had always belonged there.

azriel reversed your positions, now pressing you against the wall. he deepened the kiss, his hands returning to your ass holding you in place and drawing a gasp from you.

in turn, your hands left his face and traveled to his shoulders, your fists closing around the fabric of his shirt and pulling it up.

the male grinned at your action and broke the kiss, his lips an inch apart as he spoke with his breath against your face “do you want me that bad, love?”

“shut the fuck up,” you demanded, not wasting time in crashing your lips against his once more.

but soon enough, azriel was pulling back again, “just admit it. admit it, you’re that desperate for me.”

he seriously needed to start reading the room better because this was definitely not the time to be with this lameness.

you grabbed his jaw, your hand pulling him closer to you, “azriel,” your tone was almost lethal, leaving no room for argument, “you either shut up and fuck me or you leave.”

 he went still for a moment, his breathing heavy with his eyes roaming your eyes and lips. 

“you’re so irritating,” he pulled off the wall and soon, your back hit the mattress, and azriel moved to hover over you, his hands on either side of your head.

“good choice,” you said, grabbing his neck and kissing him hungrily.

he bent his legs and spread them so that your legs would also spread apart with the movement, the back of your thighs resting against his and his knees on each side of your hips.

he rose up on his knees, breaking the kiss and bringing his hands to the hem of your t-shirt, tugging it impatiently, “this needs to come off.”

“then what the hell are you waiting for?” you asked, looking up at him, your chest rising and falling rapidly.

his eyes darkened and without any warning, he grabbed in the middle of your shirt and ripped it off of you in a swift and precise move. he threw what was left of it to the floor before he looked down at you, his gaze drinking you in.

“gods, you’re beautiful.”

“i know.”

he chuckled at your words, and removed his t-shirt as well. he leaned down again, and pressed his lips against your neck, finding your pulse point, leaving wet kisses as he traced a path to your collarbone. 

his lips continued its path, reaching your bare chest. he buried his head between your breasts before moving to one of your breasts and closing his mouth around your nipple. 

you closed your eyes in response, a soft moan escaping your lips as you arched your back off the mattress.

he turned his attention to your other breast, aiming to elicit the same response from you again, and when you did and he was satisfied, he lifted his head to look at you.

he kept his eyes on yours as he lowered his lips against your skin to place one last kiss, sending a shiver down your spine.

azriel rose up on his knees again and once again, studied you for a long moment, “you’re a sight to behold,” he murmured, his scarred hands caressing the bare skin of your thighs.

“i know,” you repeated, breathlessly.

he laughed, and lowered himself against you, kissing your neck, and leaning to whisper in your ear “you’re so cocky, love.” 

he nuzzled his nose against your neck, just below your ear, biting that sensitive part gently and eliciting another moan from you.

your hand traveled to the back of his head and when you found his hair, you tugged on it, “honest,” you corrected him.

he let out a moan of pleasure, and he turned to look at you, “honest,” he said, and his lips began to place kisses again towards your chest, but this time going lower and lower.

you let go of his hair and brought your hand to the top of his head to pat it softly, “good boy.”

he growled at your words, his eyes finding yours again and his hand gripping your thigh in annoyance, “don’t call me that.”

your smirk returned, and when azriel saw the mischief in your eyes, he knew you weren’t going to let go of that, and how right he was. you lifted your torso on your forearms, and repeated “good boy.”

he turned his head to bite the inside of your thigh before letting out a low growl again, “say that again and i’ll turn you into a goddamn mess.”

your hand returned to the top of his head and your fingers slid through his silky hair before gripping his strands in a clenched fist, “good. . .boy.”

he growled again, and lowered his head to place one last kiss on your stomach, before grabbing your legs, lifting them from his thighs and spinning you around on the bed.

with you now lying on your stomach, the male’s hand landed on your ass with a firm smack before gripping your hips and pulling you against him, placing you on your hands and knees.

“hold on tight, love. you’re in for it now.” he warned, before starting to undo the ties of his pants. you hid your smile in your arm, and waited for him to get rid of his clothes, missing his skin when he got up from the bed to do so before returning.

an unexpected moan escaped you when you felt his bare skin on yours.

azriel's hands found the fabric of your lacy panties and just like your t-shirt, in a matter of seconds, they were ripped on the floor.

“those were my favorite pair, you idiot.”

azriel smirked and placed a kiss on your lower back, before gently smacking your ass again.

“i’ll buy you new ones, love, don’t worry.”

“you better. fucking asshole.” you muttered but not low enough to stop him from hearing, your face turned behind to look at him over your shoulder. 

azriel placed his hands on your hips again and pulled you against him once more.

one hand now rested on your lower back, while the other grabbed his member and brought it to your entrance. 

he brushed against your folds, causing your toes to curl, “look at you, all ready for me.” 

you rolled your eyes at him, causing him to chuckle and giving your ass another smack “watch the attitude, love. you’re not in a position to sass me.”

“or what?”

azriel grinned before pushing forward and entering you in one long and deep thrust and the room was filled with your moans mixing.

azriel closed his eyes and let his head fall back, a string of curses escaping from his lips. 

your hands gripped the sheet, and you bit your lower lip to stop yourself from following the same path as azriel and letting out a bunch of profanities.

giving you a moment to adjust, azriel’s hands caressed the skin of your lower back and ass, running them up and down in soft circles.

“you're okay?” azriel surprised himself with the question but didn't take it back. his eyes were focused on the back of your head. 

“going soft on me, shadowsinger?” you asked, your eyes open and a cocky smirk on your face.

“never,” he said, his hand landing on your ass a third time before he started moving his hips gently and slowly at first.

your moans began to mix with azriel's as he increased his pace. 

was all he could hear, your moans and how fast and heavy your breathing was.

he didn't need to hear your heartbeat to know that it was beating just as wildly as his, just like he didn’t need you to tell him that this didn’t feel like a regular sexual encounter. 

he knew perfectly well that you were feeling much more than just that, and so was he.

it was as if your senses were even more heightened during this moment, everything was more intense, deep and alive—the mating bond doing its part. 

azriel couldn't help but think about the words his brothers had said earlier and how right they were—nothing could compare to being with your mate, there was no comparison that could be made. 

“this doesn’t change anything,” you said, your voice breaking him from his thoughts.

azriel groaned, both in pleasure and irritation. he couldn't agree with your statement, because he didn't know if he could continue to remain indifferent to you, and to be honest, he didn't know if he wanted to continue that way. 

his brain screamed one thing while his heart screamed another. 

“we’ll see about that,” he said simply, increasing the pace of his thrusts, letting the little irritation he felt guided him. 

the change in pace caused your moans to increase in pitch, your body going forward with each thrust. 

“you’re such an asshole,” you said with a heavy breathing, one that matched with azriel’s.

“and you’re infuriating.” he shot back.

“jerk,”

“brat,”

“bitch,”

at your name call, azriel had to blink his eyes several times to make sure he hadn't just imagined that, that those words had actually come out of your mouth and been directed at him. 

“excuse me?” he asked, his hip movements never giving in. 

“i said. . .bitch,” you repeated, clearly you had no problem repeating your insults directed at him but on the other hand, why would you? 

azriel didn't scare you and you were definitely not afraid of him, in fact you didn't even have any reason to be.

despite your many arguments, exchanged insults and sometimes slaps, punches and knees, you would never be able to seriously hurt each other. 

and not just because the bond didn't allow it but because you were physically incapable of such a thing—and you both knew it, even if you'd never admit it.

azriel couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face, you calling him 'bitch' was just too funny. 

one hand remained on your hip while the other slid up your bare back, reaching the length of your hair and wrapping it around his hand before pulling, making you arch your back and lift your head. 

the moan you let out sent a shiver down azriel's spine, causing the hairs on his arms to stand up, “is that so?”

the pace of his movements accelerated, his thrusts now stronger but still deep, making you feel every inch that came out and went back in. 

“who’s the bitch now?” he asked as he continued his brutal—but very welcoming by you—pace.

“you, you’re my bitch, shadowsinger,” you managed, your moans being temporarily replaced by a big, heartily laugh.

azriel was glad you found that funny because he didn’t. 

his hand left your hip and went to the middle of your back. azriel pushed you down, your chest now against the mattress, changing the angle of your hips. 

the change of angle allowed azriel to go deeper, making you feel every inch of his length and thickness. 

your mouth fell into the shape of an 'o', and you lowered your head between your arms. for a few minutes all that could be heard were your moans, your inability to form words causing amusement in the male behind you. 

“what’s wrong, love? cat got your tongue?” he said, using the same words you used against him moments before.

“fuck you,”

“i already am, love.” he said, bringing his hand to the curve of your ass.

“fucking asshole,” you murmured. 

“language,” azriel’s grin widened, his expression becoming more cocky.

the sound of skin against skin, along with the muffled sounds of moans and heavy breathing filled the room, blurring the windows and the mirror above the dresser.

“i hate you,” you replied, stretching your arms out in front of you on the mattress and tilting your head back a little when you felt azriel tugging lightly on your hair. 

“the feeling is mutual, love,” the male replied with his smile still intact, his hand releasing your hair and coming to rest on your lower back. 

shortly after, your breathing became heavier and heavier as that sweet sensation grew in your cores. 

you raised yourself up on your arms, starting to move your hips in sync with azriel's, the movements meeting in the middle. 

“don’t stop,” you said softly, but your tone carried an order.

both of your moans grew louder, your release getting closer. 

azriel used his hands to squeeze your ass, a gesture that caused you to clench around him and which provoked azriel to deliver a particularly strong and deep thrust.

together, with a loud moan and a deep growl, you and azriel achieved your release. 

the male continued his movements, getting you both through it until there was nothing left. 

you collapsed on top of the bed with the male following right after you, your entire body now against the mattress and his body on top of yours.

azriel’s chest was against your back, his arms came to wrap around your neck and shoulders keeping you encaged between him and the mattress.

his forehead rested your shoulder blades while yours rested on his muscular arms.

you were both silent for a long moment, as you worked on catching your breaths and calming your hearts that were still beating like crazy. 

after a few minutes, you raised your head and placed wet kisses on his biceps. 

as you traced a path on his arms, azriel spoke, his voice quiet and slightly still out of breath, “i missed this.”

your movements faltered, and you looked into the empty for a few seconds before allowing yourself to say, “yes, i missed this too,” a beat of silence and then, “but you’re still an asshole,” you said, your breathing almost back to normal.

“hm, have you noticed that you insult me a lot? is it because i’m illyirian?” azriel asked, half serious, half joking. 

“what?” you asked in surprise, turning your head to the side to meet his face, “no, of course not. i insult you because you irritate me and because rhysand said that insulting is much healthier than hitting you.” 

azriel laughed, a genuine smile replacing his smirk of before.

“but i’m serious, azriel,” you kept your eyes on his, “i don’t care if you're illyrian. i never saw you as anything other than the male you are, not even as a bastard. you never were one, at least not in my eyes.” 

azriel remained quiet, his smile slowly disappearing from his face in contemplation of your words. he couldn't hide his surprise, after your disagreement, this was the nicest thing you had said to him in all those centuries.

his heart tightened in his chest, and he sighed, lowering his head towards your shoulder and placing a kiss before looking you in the eyes again and whispering a small 'thank you'. 

you nodded and turned your head forward, running your hands through your hair as the male watched you for a moment before lifting himself off of you, taking all of his weight off. 

carefully, he pulled out and with a hand on your hip, he turned you to lie down on the bed, your back against the mattress with the softness of the sheets caressing your skin.

azriel parted your legs and kept his eyes on you for a second longer than necessary before lowering himself. 

he settled between your thighs, pushing in again until he was completely buried inside of you before bringing his forearms to rest on each side of your head.

as he looked at you, his gaze now holded something different, something unknown to not only him but to you too.

his hands found your hair, meddling with it, until his thumb found the skin of your forehead and softly caressed it.

you looked up at him, studying him with the same intensity he was, wrapping your legs around his waist, with one ankle over the other—as if to make sure he couldn't escape. 

azriel lowered his head, his nose brushing against yours, one, two, three times before he whispered very lowly, “i hate you.” 

in turn, your hands found the skin of his back, until they went down and found the beginning of his wings, caressing them tenderly.

you watched azriel's eyes being invaded by pleasure and felt his skin heating up.

“i hate you,” you said back, in a soft whisper that could only be meant for his ears and not the world.

your tones of voice were now loaded with different feelings and with different meanings.

it was now your tones that made clear what your words did not. 

all the words that were not spoken, all the thoughts that were not revealed and all the feelings that remained hidden, were sealed by a kiss.

a kiss that old books and stories could only describe as a kiss of true love.

•••

the sun was already peeking through the curtains, the light of a new morning warming the room and hitting the male who was still sleeping peacefully next to you.

with your head resting on his bicep, you looked at his sleeping face while your hand slid through his black curls, gently pulling them back.

you sighed. four hundred years had to pass before you could be back in his arms but still, after last night, you couldn't forget the past.

no matter how hard you tried, those events would always be in the back of your mind.

your hand fell to his face, tracing the line of his jaw before settling on his cheek, your thumb caressing his skin.

you could feel the bond swimming through your veins, telling you that this was where you belonged, that this was where you always belonged.

but your brain screamed at you to run away.

you took a deep breath, and your hand slid to his lips, caressing his lower lip, ignoring the burning you felt in your eyes. 

unable to hold it in any longer, you closed your eyes and gently brushed your nose against his chin, feeling your heart tighten more and more—with longing and pain. 

“i hate that i love you,” you whispered. 

you let yourself stay in his arms, savoring his touch and his smell for a few more seconds before lifting his arm from your waist and getting out of bed. 

grabbing your clothes, you tiptoed to the door before quietly opening it and entering the hallway, but not without looking back at the male sleeping in your bed one last time. 

with a heavy chest, you left the room and closed the door. 

and you didn’t allow yourself to look back.

a/n: thank you for reading!

general taglist: @emryb @fantasyandshit @azrielover @shadowsingercassia @littlelou22 @brieflyclassymortal @lilah-asteria @meul-a @lure-of-writing @pruvii @olive-main @mybestfriendmademe @anuttellaa @mrsjnalvarez @lively-potter @avajustreads @talesofadragon @circe143 @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @dark-chaos-314 @tequilya @scoliobean @saltedcoffeescotch @charlotteintumbleland @agirlwithwifiandalaptop @987coley @mahiiis-world

*if you asked to be tagged and you weren't, it's because i couldn't find your blog.

dividers by @cafekitsune

[t-a-a-1]

Counting Stars

Special Chapter: To You, A Million Years From Now

TFP Optimus (Nemesis) x Female Reader

Summary: Nemesis Prime writes a letter about his life to someone unknown.

A/N: Lots of yearning, jealousy, delusions, craving, fluff. All that good stuff.

TW: Death of important characters? Idk

2k

Counting Stars

To you,

Who is it? Who is walking among the river of memories?

Holding into the hope of meeting what they desire ...

I don't know when these feelings started.

    I am unable to locate an exact moment.

Was it on February 3rd when she smiled at me for the first time? On July 7 when we observed the starry night? Or perhaps on December 21 when she held my servo with her soft hand?

    I am not certain, I wished my processor could remember but I can't. I find myself to be more pathetic as the time passes. My years have started to show. The scratches in my chassis were more visible and my paint job is not as shiny as it used to. I had stopped taking care of myself and now I begin to wonder ... Does she even like any of it? Me?

How could she ever? She's a human and I am an old robot. A tired one. I must be disgusting to her and I don't blame her. And my personality? There's much to be wished for. I don't laugh often nor enjoy jokes nor understand them. I lack any sense of humour and yet all I want to do is to make her smile when she's with me.

I find myself annoyed at times when the things I want to say cannot be processed through my glossa. An occurrence that happens whenever she lays eyes on me.

In my lowest moments, I wanted to dislike her. I must admit. She had taken every single corner of my processor. Leaving me with nothing but her. Every minute, every second, she's there and not even in my dreams I am free from this torment.

I shouldn't feel like this.

I still don't fully understand how I was chosen to be a Prime. I don't consider myself to be good. How could I when I have sent so many soldiers to meet their end? Although I was an archivist, I am not wise, I lack wisdom many times. I only make decisions hoping for the best results. I am neither the strongest as Megatron has proven he could outbest me even at his worst.

So ... Why me? Why was I given such a burden? Why did Primus in all of wisdom choose me to bear the responsibility of leading what's left of my race? When all I wanted ... All I ever wanted—

"You wouldn't let anybody else suffer with the title of being a Prime."

    No. I would. She's wrong. I am not that good. I am not that kind. So, please, don't look at me like that.

"And I think that's what makes you worthy."

I would give it all up.

If it meant I could have the one thing I wanted.

And it's standing right in front of me. Smiling at me with eyes that have more stars in them than the entirety of the universe.

And yet she knows ... That I wouldn't. That is all a lie. No matter how much I tell her that I am not as gentle as she believes me to be. She just knows.

How ... How can you be so certain?

I am not worthy of being a Prime ... And much less, of being someone who loves her.

But what if ...

If I am devoted to her? Worshipped her? Oh, her, her, her ... how much I adore her. Words are not enough.

Does she remember that time she changed the style of her hair and put paint in her face, adorned her body with shiny fabrics? I was baffled, awed at her beauty. The greatest artist is whoever created her and I, a mere spectator.

She wasn't a perfect portrait. But she was made for me. In every detail made to my liking. In every imperfection made to be loved just by me. Only me.

But I am but a shadow

And she's light.

But the darkness protects me. From the cruelty, the mockery. In darkness I can bask myself in these feelings. Enjoy them without restrictions. Without the fear of rejection. Of her and what others may think. I would have been fine living like this. Admiring her from afar as she will only be mine to adore.

Until he showed up.

I was a fool to believe I was the only one who could admire her being.

He would steal her attention. Taking her to human places I could only dream of visiting with her openly.

    Of course she would choose him. Why wouldn't she? He can give her all the things a human may want. Take her to small pretty places, places I couldn't go into. Give her flowers that don't witter because unlike me, he is delicate enough to hold them. Most importantly, he can give her a family.

How dare he? How dare he steal everything I wanted? All of my dreams and hopes–

"I think I like you ... No, I love you, Optimus."

Primus.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Do not let this be a dream.

Please. I beg you.

Do not take her away from me.

Who is it? Who is walking among the river of memories?

Holding into the hope of meeting what they desire ...

    To the lack of my better judgement, I let her stay by my side and I'll be at hers.

As the time passed I began to wonder if I was allowed to be this content. Sometimes I was hit with the realization that she won't be living for as long as I did. I considered the many possibilities of what to do once she is gone. Even going as far as asking of her preferences. Would she want me to go offline alongside her? Because I would do it in a spark-beat. And I think deep down I wished for her to ask me that.

"I am just happy that you'll live longer than me ... I won't have to deal with the grief."

Then I thought ... between her and me, I prefer to be the one to suffer. For all of eternity if that meant she won't ever have to go through the pain of losing a loved one.

"Besides, you have to take care of our Sparkling once I am gone."

    And just like that ... I fell in love with her all over again.

And till this day, my spark has only known her and it continues to only adore her.

My joy was greater than my need to fulfill my duties and slowly I wanted to forget them.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't just retire and forget about the spilled energon, all the sacrifices.

But now that I think about it, maybe that's what Primus wanted. Maybe, just maybe, her carrying a Sparkling was a sign for me to forget about everything. Of the war. Of Cybertron. Of the fallen ones.

I should had run away with her.

"I'll give you the mercy to say goodbye."

    I will never forget the blood coming out of her. Human blood was a strange liquid, smelling like metal. But was irreplaceable, unlike Energon. Yet, in my delusion, I wondered if I could give her all of my Energon to her.

"Our Sparkling ... Optimus,"

    I couldn't move.

MECH and what little is left of Silas, had held her captive. Only a few days was enough for them to bring me to my feet. I knew it was a trap but what was I supposed to do? I thought I was strong enough to save her. That's all I wanted. I lead my team to a trap, one impossible to escape.

It was only Ratchet and I and the two of us were too useless. I couldn't move, nor speak. MECH had poisoned the air in the hangar, only affecting the Autobots.

The situation didn't fully register in my processor ... Until I saw Silas inside Breakdown's rusted body.

    Putting one of his pedes above her.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

"Please ... Save our Sparkling–"

    She couldn't even finish her sentence.

Blood. Everywhere. It had reached my faceplate.

    And as Silas lifted his pede, I still had hope. That she might be there.

But instead, nothing.

    Everything that she was.

Her hair. Her eyes. Her smile. Her laugh.

Her.

It was gone.

    I don't remember much after that.

Next thing I knew, I was with Ratchet in a special cell. It seems he had been talking for hours to me but I just didn't listen. I don't think I was even capable of hearing anything at all.

Until Megatron showed up.

    "I never thought it would end up like this."

I didn't look at him.

"You must know that not even I could ever harm what was Cybertron's first Sparkling in milenia."

"... Was?"

    Ratchet asked.

I heard steps walking closer towards me. Until Megatron stood in front of me. He bent down and put a small circular object on the floor.

"I couldn't get there before they dismantled him ... This is the only thing I could save."

    I picked it up. It was a Spark-Keeper. The outer metallic shell that was supposed to be protecting my Sparkling's spark. Empty. Lifeless.

"Optimus, I've made a terrible mistake," Megatron said. "I gave Silas a power he couldn't control. My arrogance and pride blinded me, making me unable to see the monster I created."

    My Sparkling. Where is he? He should have been born by now.

"This mistake cost the Cybertronian race its future ... And I am responsible. Now I see ... Now I understand everything you said."

Where is she? I want to see her. She should be resting. Probably at the base. I need to go back soon.

"Let's end all of this. Help me defeat Silas and MECH ... And after, we can all just go home."

Home. That's right. She must be with my Sparkling at home. I should bring her something pretty. Maybe I should pick out many sunflowers on the way.

"Let's go to Cybertron and rebuild it ... New life shall rise."

    My Sparkling, her ... They are waiting for me. I need to go. I need to see them. Where are they?

"Do not let (Y/N)'s sacrifice be in vain."

    Until this day ... I can't find the words to describe the pain I felt when I heard her name.

"D, old friend" I called his old name as I activated my battle mask.  "You shall never speak her name again."

    I shot him.

I saw his life come out of his optics. I took out his spark and crushed it.

I walked out of the cell, Ratchet did not say a single word.

I killed every single Decepticon and human I encountered.

    And after I was done I went to where the last of her remained. Just a red stain on the floor.

    The entire base was on fire. The Autobots, the ones who had come from the vastness of space and the ones who hid on Earth had caused a commotion. One I did not oppose anymore. The news of my Sparkling's massacre had spread just as quickly as the fire. With that came indignation. Hate. The hope of co-existing as one ... gone.

"You won't be able to control them anymore."

Ratchet had found me.

"A war is bound to happen with the humans and rest of the Decepticons. Once again."

    There was a pain in his voice that I never heard before from him. Yet, I didn't care. I only thought of my selfish wish.

"Would you please ... Kill me?"

    I heard steps coming closer to me. My optics were still focused on the stain on the floor.

"No."

"Why?!"

    I finally looked up at him. His optics were no longer blue.

"Because if you die, you won't be able to remember her."

Ratchet bent down to put a servo on my shoulder-plate. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, this must be the first time I was unable to do so.

"You need to keep fighting," he said, and finally, I listened. "You can't undo what you've done ... But you can embrace it."

"The pain, can you feel it? The feeling of having everything taken away from you?"

    And that's when I understood. Genuinely understood Megatron for the first time. Is this how he felt when he was thrown into the gladiator pits to fight his comrades, killing each of them? Just for mere entertainment?

For how long was I blind? Blindfolded by my own privilege? Fighting for freedom that only those on the winning side will get to enjoy?

    All this time ... Everything. It was all a lie.

"I am tired, Optimus," Ratchet spoke to me once again. "We either give up now ... or we can burn it all."

    That's exactly what I needed. I wanted to share my pain with the world. It was too big and too heavy in my Spark. I wanted to get rid of it, of these feelings, of the guilt, the incompetence.

But that wasn't me.

It wasn't me.

And the realization hit me. I had already done the unspeakable. Whatever sanity I had left, they took it.

I no longer was Optimus Prime.

I was free.

I was free of the burden, I was free of the responsibility. Finally, Finally! I could be whatever I wanted! I was free to be whoever I chose to be! I am this! This is what feels right! This is what I was supposed to be, this is who I am!

I  turned on my Comm-Link, making sure everyone could hear me.

"This is Prime speaking," I stood up. The fire consumed the place more and more. But I didn't care, I walked around the hangar and destroyed everything I saw. A rush of power, strength goes through me. "Fellow Autobots, the human race and the Decepticons have taken from us our last hope. It is to my most sorrow to inform everyone that the countless opportunities given to both were in vain. I couldn't save her ... nor my Sparkling, Cybertron's hope."

    I felt something pulsating inside of my chassis and as I opened it, I took out the Matrix of Leadership.

It was this thing's fault. The reason I became a Prime. The reason I had to follow honor and moralistic ideologies. It was because of this responsibility bestowed on me that I had lost her and my Sparkling.

If only ... I had run away with her.

"But with their deaths, we are no longer tied down to the chains of morality and fake principalities! We are free! Free to do as we please!"

I continued to bask in my madness, things falling down around me, embracing who I had become.

"Destroy everything you can! Claim what you need! Fight for what you wish for!"

    And finally, the Matrix disappeared from my grasp. Granting me, after so many years, the only thing I have ever truly wanted.

"THIS ISFREEDOM!"

    I shot the wall in front of me, opening a path. Coming out of the flames, I met my Autobots, ranting my name. Everything around us is crumbling and falling apart. Never had something felt so right.

"Prime! Prime! Prime!"

"I send this message to the Autobots who remain scattered across the universe. I am reclaiming a new home. A new start for our race. Earth will no longer belong to humanity but to us! One shall stand and one shall fall."

    That was the last time I saw Bumblebee. Among the crowd, a horrified look on his faceplate. Ultra Magnus was there too. Arcee and Bulkhead ... all of them with that disappointed look. They are here.

But ... where is she? Where is my Sparkling? Where are they?

Where are they? Are they home? Are they waiting for me? I want to see them soon.

"Optimus ...."

I turned to look at Ratchet.

"I am no longer that," I told him. "I am free to choose now."

Now, I've become mad. Drunk on sorrow, lost in pain. But I had become what I have always been. What I chose to be. With this letter, I grieve who I once used to be. But I am no longer that.

And I don't regret it.

Because now I only live to hate him. To despite and destroy whatever he believed in.

But now I wonder ... Who is that in the back of my processor?

Who is it? Who is walking among the river of memories?

Holding into the hope of meeting what they desire ...

    Is it my dearest waiting to meet me? My Sparkling with his hands raised up, waiting for me to hold him?

No. No, it's not.

It's you, Optimus Prime, what's little is left of you.

I can't wait for the day you completely disappear.

    But I can't let you go. Because it is you who she once loved. And I'll be damned if I were to lose whatever little is left of her. It's you who hold her memories. But I'll hold you prisoner, mine to torture.

Optimus, I hope you'll forever live with the pain and regret only you deserve.

As I have.

Goodbye forever, Nemesis Prime A Million Years From Now.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N: I was in Japan visiting my college friends so that's why the long wait. There is much I need to write! But I feel encouraged to keep writing!

It was quite strange how I wanted to approach Nemesis. Since I had never written about him before, I had to think of ideas and motivations for his character. I felt like it was quite gruesome so that's why I didn't go into extreme detail of what had happened to Reader and the Sparkling but I am sure you all can assume since it was directly mentioned.

I didn't want to get much into his mind either and left some things into interpretation as I prefer for the readers to make their own conclusions with the information they have since I think ... that's more fun?

A part of me wants to feel bad for Nemesis but I am not sure. I truly write this just as it comes and see what fits better for the story.

Next chapter we'll see how Optimus is doing without the reader and the Sparkling.

Maybe we'll explore more of the human-cybertronian conflicts that happened after Optimus became Nemesis.

And of course more Nemesis longing for you and all that good stuff.

I want to thank everyone who has read this so far! Thank you and I hope you'll be here till the very end!

If you have any questions, comments, concerns or requests you can send me a message or inbox me on tumblr! @ t-a-a-1

Thank you and until next time!

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Next: Soon

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite QL Kisses of 2024 💖✨

Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!

Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do!

💜 All the lists can be found here! 💜

From horny kisses to sweet kisses, lip kisses to hand kisses, and everything in between, these were my favorites of the year. A few couples feature twice but that doesn't mean I love the others any less, it just means I couldn't decide between two.

♡ Rak x Mut Blinding Blue Jellyfish Light of Love Kiss (Love Sea)

Fort and Peat are such good on-screen kissers that I could've honestly chosen any other kiss from this show and it would've been amazing but! Blinding light of love kisses are my favorite kisses so it had to be this one.

♡ God x Diew Pilot Kiss (Monster Next Door)

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WISH THIS KISS HAD MADE IT INTO THE SHOW. THIS KISS SINGLE-HANDEDLY CONVINCED ME TO EVEN WATCH THE SHOW IN FIRST PLACE.

Pilot kiss you will always be famous.

♡ Jack x Joke First Kiss (Jack & Joker)

Now THAT is how you resolve the tension. Sometimes the slow burn is really a slow fuse and at the end you get a very hungry, very horny explosion. Thank you, YinWar.

♡ Gi Seop x Jin Woo Under the Bed Kiss (Boys Be Brave!)

There's just something about this scene that really made it stick with me. It means everything to me that Jin Woo was the one to kiss first after he spent so much time and energy trying to run away from his feelings. I always love when I can see the exact moment someone gives in.

♡ Yuan x Qian Morning After Kisses (Unknown)

Quite possibly one of my favorite morning after scenes ever. Tender and sleepy and soft and filled with the relief of finally having something you've wanted your entire life but never believed you could have.

♡ Korn x Tonkla Reunion Kiss (4 Minutes)

Did I spend the entire show wanting Tonkla to kill Korn? Absolutely, and I still wish he had but you know what? Tonkla wanted Korn and I want Tonkla to get everything he wants in this life. Also it was just a really damn good kiss.

♡ Vivi x Mook Couch Kiss (Love Sea)

Vivi could neither communicate her feelings effectively nor follow her own excellent advice but what she could do was kiss the breath out of Mook and do it very well.

♡ Haruki x Jin Playground Kiss (Our Youth)

It's not just that this is the first time we could see Jin actively kiss Haruki back, and with the blinding light of love illuminating them no less. It's also that Jin finally allowed himself to voice his genuine desires and be selfish and allowed himself to give in to the moment.

♡ Moo x Kang Boyfriend Proposal Kiss (Only Boo!)

MY ADORABLE BOYS ARE FINALLY BOYFRIENDS FOR GOOD!They're living their dreams, they're in love, and they're letting the whole world know it, together.

♡ Anin x Pin "It's Still Noon" Kiss (The Loyal Pin)

After so many years of yearning, there was not a force on this earth that could've stopped Anin from making time with her girl at every opportunity. Who cares if it's noon, they're in their house and food shouldn't be the only thing that gets eaten in that dining room.

♡ Kyousuke x Isumi Confession Cheek Kiss (Sugar Dog Life)

Listen. Sometimes, when you are in love with someone who is very sweet and oblivious, a simple confession isn't enough. You need to hit them over the head with your feelings, or kiss them as the case may be, to help them along and realize their own.

♡ Yak x Dee Over the Shoulder Kiss (Wandee Goodday)

It's just such a pretty kiss. They both are, but that cheek kiss hits especially good with that blissed out look on Dee's face. My love of blinding light of love kisses might have some serious competition from pink light kisses.

♡ Jane x Ryan Tippy Toes Kiss (The Trainee)

Their first kiss, which took place just moments before, was perfectly lovely. I enjoyed it a lot. BUT THIS SECOND KISS? THIS LITTLE PECK WHICH RYAN ASKED FOR BY SIMPLY STANDING UP ON HIS TIPPY TOES? SUBLIME. PEAK ROMANCE.

♡ Meiji x Freya Lipstick Kiss (Deep Night: The Two of Us)

The correct way to apply lipstick. The only way to apply lipstick actually.

♡ Do Hoe x Ju Yeong Snack Time Cheek Kisses (Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo)

This? This was what we deserved. We deserved the achingly sweet domesticity of Ju Yeong bringing Do Hoe snacks while he studied and kissing his cheek every time. We deserved to see them in matching fuzzy teddy bear couple pajamas.

IT'S WHAT WE DESERVED!

♡ Phee x Non Pink Kiss (Dead Friend Forever)

I was thrilled for this kiss by mere virtue of finally getting to see Ta and Barcode kiss, but the expression on Non's face? The pink lighting? Phenomenal.

We really could've had it all. Rolling in the deep. 🥲

♡ Takashi x Hiro Claiming Kiss (Love is Better the Second Time Around)

A hickey may be the result, but every hickey begins life as a kiss. And this kiss was a symbol of Hiro's desire to feel like Takashi was really his, to not feel like an outsider in Takashi's life, and to be someone Takashi could share everything with.

♡ Huaien x Xiaobao Blinding Light of Love Kiss (Meet You at the Blossom)

Sometimes a good kiss is more than just a good kiss, which this was. Sometimes it's about what the kiss means to the people watching it. Sometimes it's about the fact that it exists and that people get to watch it at all.

♡ San x Vee Forehead Kiss (Century of Love)

This kiss was such a gentle, loving reassurance that Vee would take the lead and take care of San during their first time being intimate together.

♡ Myung Ha x Yeo Woon First Kiss (Love for Love's Sake)

So incredibly visually pleasing and also: "You're my first everything". My heart. My entire heart and soul. Has anything ever been as earnest as those words and this kiss?

♡ Ming x Joe Face Sniff Kisses (My Stand-In)

This is exactly the sort of tenderness Joe always deserved from the man he loved. Even though it took a thousand agonizing years for Ming to get his shit together and give it to him, better late than never. Plus, I always love when we get sniff kisses.

♡ Sun x Junior First Kiss (Caged Again)

What an absolutely perfect, absolutely lovely first kiss between two absolutely darling boys who are figuring out what it means to be in love with each other. I adored it.

♡ Yuan x Qian Dinner Date Kiss (Unknown)

It's the wine splashing that really makes this for me. Yuan waited years for this date and for the opportunity to yank the man he loved across a dinner table to kiss him. And I just love how he looks down at Qian's hand before he does it.

♡ Do Hoe x Ju Yeong Christmas Present Kiss (Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo)

It's Christmas and Do Hoe is smiling and kissing his boyfriend and everything is peaceful and romantic and horny and good.

♡ Jack x Joke We're About to Fucking Die Kiss (Jack & Joker)

There's a bomb around Joke's neck and bitch ass Alice is out here being Jigsaw, but damn if that's gonna keep Jack from staying by his boyfriend's side. If they're going down, they're going down together, making out in front of god and everyone.

♡ Anin x Pin Party Kiss (The Loyal Pin)

This kiss from the trailer was the one I was most excited to see and it didn't disappoint. It's pretty! It's horny! Anin is wine tipsy! Pin is jealous because other women were hitting on her girl all night! Perfection.

♡ Shan x Ob-aun Blindfold Kiss (Battle of the Writers)

Tutor and Yim kiss so pretty and this show spent its entire runtime reminding us of that fact. I could've chosen any of their kisses, which is true of many pairings on this list, but this one is particularly pretty. And you can see Yim's shoulder moles, which is a fun little treat just for me.

[anaburbononburbon]

Nobody’s perfect…

Part 1, Part 2

Trigger warnings: infidelity, suicidal ideation/thoughts, cursing, very angst. This is a dead dove, so please do not eat. 18+. MDNI.

Johnny was perfect…and with your hindsight now, you should have realized that it was an issue.

Nobody is perfect.

But your last relationship was filled with fighting, with fists, with cheating and a one way ticket to the clinic to clear up chlamydia. It was terrible, awful, no good and you swore off love for good.

Except for Johnny. The bastard snuck in to your heart and gladly made a home in you. And you allowed it. Flourished under it. He was thoughtful, would remember your favorite movies, your most played songs, the authors you gushed about once and suddenly, books would pile up in your home from his generosity. Flowers would be delivered when he was deployed and he would always try to call you when he could.

Even his team was wonderful. The captain who would invite you to drinks and encourage you to play darts with them all. The too-good-looking sergeant with his sharp smile, deep laugh and eyes that gleamed a little too much. But he was thoughtful. Would pull out your chair. Would laugh at Johnny with you as he tried, and failed, to beat his CO’s in an arm wrestling match. Hell, you even got along with his scary Lieutenant. There was a mutual understanding, a connection between you both that remained unspoken. He didn’t talk. You didn’t push. And slowly, he would get you your favorite drink or help you bring home a too drunk Johnny. He’d gently ask you if there was anything you needed from the store, from him. He was there in his own way, and it was perfect for you.

But things aren’t perfect. Not in real life.

You wish you could say that this was a shock. That it was surprising. You never saw this coming.

You weren’t going to lie to yourself. Not anymore.

You knew Johnny was a man whore before you got together. He was very clear about his previous escapades, without rubbing it in. He enjoyed sex, touch, intimacy. You did too, but maybe not quite like Johnny. But he never acted like it mattered. You still had sex together, and as often as you could. You were very upfront about your past and how certain things were a ‘no’ from you, and he said he understood.

Johnny was a fucking liar.

Johnny was a goddamn, no good, piece of shit liar.

You could hear it all from the living room. Your living room. The house you paid for, the house he moved into a few months back. His grunts. Her moans. A low chuckle that, of course, belonged to Ghost.

They had always been close, but you didn’t think that this was the case. You didn’t think…

Johnny brought up a threesome a few times, but you’d remained nervous. You thought he understood. You thought he’d be okay with not…

You were never good enough.

The voice from your ex made its debut back into your head, now followed by Johnny claiming loudly he was going to cum, and the unknown woman begging for him to cum inside her. Ghosts grunts.

God, you were going to be sick.

All in your bed.

Because who would respect you? You were nothing. You were less than nothing. You were pathetic.

Just something to be played with while everyone laughs at you.

You sat on the couch as the voices quieted down.

You were suppose to be at a book signing convention but you forgot your book, silly you.

And it’s in your room. The room you shared with Johnny. The book he got you because “he saw it and thought about you”.

Lies.

You knew it.

Just a reason to get you out of the house.

You wanted to cry.

You didn’t want to think about how many times this had happened.

You knew he was too good for you, too pretty, too outgoing. You weren’t a right fit and now it’s rubbed in.

You were going to cry.

Shuffles from the room, laughs and a slap echoed.

“I had a really, really good time.” She giggles. Bile raises up in your throat. You hate Johnny so fucking much. You hate him. How could he do this to you?

You just wanted Johnny to come home, tell you it was a dream and he would never do that to you.

“Me too, lass. Now, get ye goin’ and we’ll see ye back on base.” You wanted to get sick, you wanted to scream. You wanted to murder her and kill Johnny and blame Ghost for it all.

But you wouldn’t. You were pathetic.

You were nothing.

Minutes later, an unknown soldier stumbles in your living room and gasps at you.

“Oh, hey.” She had the decency to look guilty but it didn’t matter.

She looked nothing like you. She was taller, prettier, perkier, and she knew Johnny like you could never.

“I’m going to go.” You refused to say anything. You stared at her as she sheepishly walked out of your house. With your Johnnys cum dripping out of her.

Not yours, anymore.

God, you wanted to die.

The humiliation. The betrayal. Her moaning wouldn’t stop playing in your head over and over and over and over-

The next person who left the room was Ghost, and he of course, silently stared at you. Locked into place, taken off guard. You would be proud of yourself if it wasn’t because he was fucking another person with your boyfriend-

Ex boyfriend.

You were done with Johnny. You couldn’t allow him back.

And maybe Johnny had been done with you and never told you.

It all made your heart hurt and head pound.

“Johnny, get out here now.” Ghost called out sharply, refusing to drop your gaze. You didn’t cry. You didn’t move. You didn’t say a word. You just silently stared at him and took him for what he was: a liar. A theft. A murderer to your heart, your mind, your very soul.

How many times did they do this to you? How many times were you laughed at by his LT? By the entire team?

Fuck. You knew this wasn’t a one time deal and god, it ate you up inside.

“Aye know, aye know. Running late, Cap will have our-” Johnny came out, hair messy and skin glossy with sweat and whatever else fluids there may be. His eyes found yours and he immediately shut his mouth.

A first.

A beat of silence filled the air before a loud gulp came from the deceiver, the betrayer. The person who held you and told you over and over again that he would never hurt you like you’d be hurt, that he cared for you, that he loved-

“You need to get your things and move out.”

You thought maybe you would start screaming, start crying, start throwing things, but you couldn’t. Your arms were too heavy. Stomach too queasy, and you didn’t have to strength.

You didn’t want to fight.

You just wanted to die.

You thought he cared about you but he lied. He lied. He lied-

“Bonnie, aye-”

You quickly interrupted.

“I don’t care Johnny. I don’t care about anything you have to say. I don’t care about you. I want you, I want your shit and I want it out of my house. I want it out of my life. You’re going to delete my number. You’re going to act like we were never together, because that would be the most nice thing you could do to me.” Anger finally filled the empty void inside of you. Anger at his betrayal. At his disloyalty. At yourself for believing him in the first place.

“Listen-” This time Ghost tried to butt in, but you refused.

“Help him or don’t. I don’t give a fuck. You have an hour or else you’re trespassing.”

“No no no no no, bonnie, love, please no.” Johnny cried, stumbling and trying to move closer to you but Ghosts hand found his chest and kept him there. He hit his knees, actual tears falling from his beautiful eyes.

Your lip curled up as you stared at him. More anger, more disgust rolled through you.

“Someone’s cum is dripping down your chin, Johnny.” You sneered, and a sharp laugh at his expense when he quickly wiped his chin and found there to be nothing.

His face turned red and you found yourself shaking your head. You dropped his gaze and stared at the black screen of your tv. Grief warped through you. Your life with him was over. It was done. It was severed, and he didn’t want you anymore.

He just didn’t want to admit it.

“Please, let me explain.” Again, you laughed.

“Explain how good it felt coming inside of her? In my bed? In my house? Or having your Lieutenant goad you both? I hope it was all worth it, Johnny. I hope…I just cant believe you. I cant, I cant. I cant.” And suddenly, in an instance, you broke. You sobbed. Fat tears rolled down your face and snot clogged up your nose. Your heart stuffed itself in your throat and you knew your life was over.

You were ugly.

You were pathetic.

You were nothing.

You found yourself curled up, sitting on the floor, your chest breaking down in itself and you couldn’t breath.

“Please-” Johnny tried. Johnny reached for you and you screamed.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me! I hate you, Johnny! I hate you, I hate you ihateyouihateyouifuckinghateyou!” You could hear Johnny crying with you, but it meant nothing.

Your entire time together meant nothing.

He lied to you.

He cheated on you.

He broke you.

He was the love of your life, and he hated you.

He hated you.

“Johnny, come on.” Ghost got him up, and moved him back in the bedroom. You didn’t care why or what for. You hoped it was to start getting his stuff and start moving out.

You needed him gone. You needed him away. You needed him-

———————————————————————

You barely had yourself under control when they got out of your bedroom. Suitcases were full and laundry was going.

Considerate. Considering…

Ghost moved everything. And quickly. Bags and bags he had in his hands as he trucked them outside. He moved Johnny out and you refused to look at them. You only stared at their feet as they walked, without a word, out of your life.

You sat there as the door closed and the vehicle pulled away from your place.

You were alone, finally.

And you just wanted to die.

———————————————————————

Part 1, Part 2

I have no idea where this came from. I’m suppose to be working. I must be in the fun place in my cycle 🙃 angst all around! Take care of yourselves and don’t let anyone make you feel this way!!! You are beautiful and worth it.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Would you be willing to do a Gerhard Fra x Nanny reader, they are younger than the usual nanny age but both parties in this regard were desperate. The reader gets along with Angelico very well. Angelico loves story time with the reader even more. After a year or so with them, Angelico wonders why they haven’t come back to finish a story. Gerhard tries to explain him what a “day off” is, it doesn’t register with his son. Angelico sneaks out and tries to find the reader, causing Gerhard to almost freak out. The reader is holding Angelico in their arms asleep and walking towards Gerhards home when they meet eachother.

“What were you thinking?!”

The children all flinch collectively at Gerhard’s harsh tone. The usually reserved noble yelling for once, letting them know he was serious. “We…we didn’t mean it….”

“So you just ran out into the streets by accident?! With no plan or regards for your safety?! There is a killer on the loose!”

Elena flinched further back and began to sniffle, quickly comforted by her sister. “Oy, Gerhard, I get you’re upset but please don’t yell at my kids.” Henrique urged him. “They’re just little girls.”

“Exactly! Little girls & boys. They shouldn’t be outside at all at this hour, much less in unknown streets with commoners!”

“It..It’s my fault.” Theodore pipped up them. Stepping forward with his brave little hands clenched. “I should have stopped them. As the oldest, it’s my responsibility to make sure they don’t get into trouble.”

Gerhard sighed and pinched his nose. “Your apology is appreciated, young Theodore, but surely even you know that you are not responsible for children when you yourself are a child.” The lord then leveled another look at the children. “Whose idea was this?”

“I wanted to see [Y/N]!” Angelico announced, shouting back at his father. “I wanted to see my nanny!”

Gerhard sneered. They were lucky [Y/N] even found them in this city and brought them home. Whatever miracle it was that granted their swift return, it would not save Angelico however. “I told you, Angelico, Miss Clara is your nanny now while we are staying at Dali’s! You have to accept that!”

“No!” Angelico shouted back. Even stomping his foot. “I don’t want her! I want [Y/N]! She’s way better and doesn’t smell like old people!”

“Angelico!” Gerhard had never seen his son behave so poorly. Perhaps this environment was not the best for him after all….

“Angelico, you can’t say things like that about people.” The boy sniffled as he turned to look back at [Y/N]. Who then placed their hand on his shoulder. “Miss Clara is working hard to take care of all of you. You should be more thoughtful of her effort.”

“But it’s not the same….” He was seconds away from crying, but [Y/N] just smiled softly and brushed his cheek.

“I know. But just because things are different, it doesn’t mean that they’re bad. Remember when they change the color in your room? You didn’t like that at first and now it’s your favorite color.” Angelico nodded. “So, it’s just like that. I’m…sure things will get back to normal here soon and we can play again.”

Their hesitation was indicative of their knowledge that they may not have a job anymore. How long this hiatus in their employment would be with Dali's ridiculous plan was unknown, but it couldn't go on forever. They needed to work. To make money.

Gerhard wishes that he could have them back as well. Angelico had had many nannies in his short life, but none of them he had attached to as fiercely as [Y/N].

“Perhaps I have a suggestion,” Gerhard, Angelico, and [Y/N] all turn to look at Clara. Seeming to appear, as always, just when people needed her. “Perhaps [Y/N] could come to work under the Delico estate for a time. I am indeed getting older, and it is hard to keep up with all the little ones just as one person. [Y/N] could keep up with them better, then I would have more time to focus on Master Ul and some of the other chores.”

They all looked surprised, but Angelico’s eyes brightened like a new penny. “Yes! Yes Father please!”

“What do you think, Master Dali?”

“I think it’s a grand idea.” Dali chimed in at Clara’s question. “I suppose I have been a little inconsiderate putting 4 other children on you with no assistance. So, what do you say [Y/N], do you want to come work for the Delico estate?”

[Y/N] seemed surprised, but before they could answer Gerhard stepped in. “Absolutely not!” He bellowed. “[Y/N] is under the employ of the Fra estate. They will continue as such for the remainder of their employee, and I will cover their wages!”

Dali chuckled. “Whatever you say Gerhard.”

The matter seemed settled, but before Angelico was ushered out with the other children, Gerhard stopped him. “We’re not done. You are to go to bed and not make a peep until the morning. Your punishment will be delivered then.”

The younger Fra looked anxious, but did not argue. He then looked to [Y/N] and asked, “will you finish the story?” Gerhard arched a brow. Story?

“Maybe tomorrow.” They told him. “For now, listen to your father and get to bed.” And Angelico did just that.

“Sorry for all the fuss,” [Y/N] apologized when they & Gerhard were alone. “I really didn’t think he’d go out into the city on his own.”

“Nor did I.” Gerhard agreed. “But…you seem very important to him. I hadn’t realized.”

“Well, given the situation with the little lord’s mother and before….” They trailed off. Not commenting on how distance he had been with his son before. “It’s nice to see you spending more time with him, sir.” Gerhard made a noise in his throat, but no further comment. “Should I return tomorrow to get started.”

“Um…yes.” He hadn’t really planned much further than that. “Please speak to Clara about arrangements. I trust you still have your uniform?” [Y/N] nodded. “Good. Please see that you have it on. Dali’s staff may be more lax, but we will show them the pride of House Fra.”

[Y/N] nodded more firmly this time. “Yes sir!”

They then left to return home and get ready for tomorrow presumably. In the evening, Gerhard went to check on his son. Finding him safe and asleep. He would not deny that Angelico missing earlier had terrified him, but he was grateful [Y/N] had brought him home. It would be good to have them with them again. Gerhard could always trust [Y/N]. It hadn't occurred to him until now that he needed them too, almost as much as his son.

[targaryenluvs]

Idk if you are taking requests currently, but if you are…

Could you write a similar fic to our little dove, where Coriolanus doesn’t kill Lucy. I would’ve loved to see more of them arguing over who gets to spend time with the reader, and all three of them spending time together.

Or maybe a different ending where Lucy takes reader to pick up katniss with her. And whilst Coriolanus is in the cabin lucy convinces reader to run away with her… but Coriolanus finds both of them and takes them to the Capitol with him.

OUR LITTLE DOVE,, ALT ENDING

pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray

summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.

a/n: here’s for all who wanted a different ending! the full fic is here ( our little dove )this is just a detour for everyone who wasn’t happy with the ending! DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT READ THE FULL FIC!!!

the trek back to town had you dying. it usually didn’t take so long but with coriolanus’s arm practically glued to you, the sun beating down on your trio and your dress sticking to you? fainting seemed very fun right now.

the entire routine was rushed, food stashed, no goodbyes to your family nor friends, just lucy and coriolanus wanting you on the train asap. they’d sprung their plan of going back to the captiol on you quite abruptly once you reached town but at this point you had no hope in your body of escaping them. so you obliged and followed like a lost puppy.

being in the capitol was worse.

you were completely and utterly alone. coriolanus was busy running the country, lucy was always working and you always seemed to be stuck on your windowsill. staring out onto the streets as the world passed you by. stuck in a prison of marble and luxury.

at first you had to endure lucy and coriolanus’s never ending arguing, always over you. when you still had an inkling of freedom. “are you kidding me? you chose what she wore yesterday lucy. will you just back the fuck off?” lucy’s jaw was dropped open, “excuse me? she was my-” coriolanus’s head tilted back as he dragged his hands over his face, “oh my god how many times are you going to use that? who the hell got her here huh? who provides for all of us? sure as hell not you. now don’t make this any harder. she’s wearing the red dress.” you sat there the whole time, just waiting for someone to notice you.

it always led back to you. but apparently kidnapping you and uprooting your life wasn’t enough since after time the duo fed off of eachother, delusions enlarging. seemingly everyone was out to get you, be with you, but you were theirs. coriolanus wasn’t president long enough yet to go around killing people without raising suspicion and alert towards him and as much as people did respect him, he couldn’t exactly go around killing everyone who looked at you and lucy even if he wished to. so he settled for the next best thing. keeping you away from them, out of reach.

and here you ended up, alone.

you had everything you’d ever dreamed of yet it all meant nothing. you were a shell of your old self and the two of them knew it. but all they cared was that you were with them. whisperings of the president having two lovers were imminent, lucy gray the victor, and the other. the unknown. and you weren’t sure if they’d ever know you. if anyone knew who you were, what you looked like let alone your name. even the staff of your prison did what was necessary, nothing more nor less. food, water, changed bedsheets and drawn baths was all the interaction you had with people that weren’t corio nor lucy.

you wanted to die, anything was better than living the same day over and over. the little flickers of hope came in the form of broken promises whispered during the dark nights, barely heard over the heaving breaths originating from yourself and the other two. promises of people, of the sun and temporary escape from here. but you’d learnt not to believe them.

“sweetheart, it’s not good for you to sit there all day. come, eat.” coriolanus asked demanded from the doorway of your library. the book at your feet long forgotten. coriolanus led you to the dining room where lucy was already eating. “there you are baby. somethin’ wrong?” lucy’s eyebrows were creasing as she took you in, empty eyes, emotionless face, slumped shoulders. you were nothing like the girl from twelve.

y/n l/n. sweetheart to almost everyone. a smile on her face as she went about her day. opening up to people and allowing others to lean on her. making sure her friends were okay when she noticed the slightest shift in feelings. always the lover. the carer.

but the girl who stood in front of her was so different and it broke her heart.

but she knew if she wanted to repair you she’d have to let you go. and as the three of you cuddled together in bed, your soft breaths lulling coriolanus and herself to sleep, she knew it was worth it, as long as you were here.

how selfish! she thought, but at the end of the day.

you’re our little dove.

[himasgod]

Xiao x Reader

Where you approach him in the Lantern Rite

The Lantern Rite covered the sky of Liyue in golden flashes, as if the stars had descended to greet the mortals. From the top of the Wangshu Inn, Xiao watched the spectacle in silence. His sharp eyes barely blinked as he followed the lanterns rising into the sky, each one containing a wish or blessing from the citizens he protected without expecting recognition.

For the rest of Liyue, this night meant celebration, joy, and hope. For Xiao, however, it was just another battle, a night in which would relentlessly strike down any threat that disturbed the peace. He knew that the remnants of hatred and resentment could awaken at any moment, and as soon as they did, he would be the first to fall upon them.

A few steps behind him, you stood, watching him in silence. In all the time you had spent at the Wangshu Inn, tending to daily chores and fulfilling errands, you had noticed Xiao’s sporadic presence. You knew who he was, and although his visits were always brief and solitary, you made a point of leaving a small plate of almond tofu on the terrace table before he arrived. Perhaps he didn’t notice, or perhaps he thought it was a simple courtesy. But to you, this gesture was a way of silently thanking him.

Tonight, you decided to take it a step further. You approached slowly, without making much noise, carrying with you a lantern that you had secretly prepared. When you were next to him, he didn’t look at you, but you knew he was aware of your presence.

“I thought you might like to throw a lantern,” you said quietly, extending the one you held in your hands to him.

Xiao didn't move, but his gaze shifted slightly to the object you offered, a mix of curiosity and bewilderment in his golden eyes. It wasn't usual for someone to approach him, much less to include him in something so common, so human.

"I have no wishes to grant myself," he replied coldly, his voice as sharp and distant as ever. But there was a slight tremor in his tone, a trace of doubt that he hadn't noticed until now.

"It doesn't have to be a wish for you," you replied softly. "You could ask for something for others, something you think Liyue needs."

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, so heavy that you could feel it as a barrier between you. Xiao looked down at the lantern, his thoughts seeming to fly away from the terrace, towards the countless battles, the karmic burdens and the fragmented hatred he had endured for centuries. Those burdens were nothing more than shadows to the inhabitants of Liyue, but to him they were real, heavy.

Finally, Xiao reached out a hand, taking the lantern delicately, as if it were something fragile and unknown to him. He examined it silently, his fingers brushing the soft fabric that held the flame. You could see the battle in his eyes, the tension on his face, as if he was both considering your proposal and rejecting it.

“I don’t know what I could ask for,” he finally murmured, his voice barely a whisper. “After so many years, I’ve grown accustomed to fighting, to carrying the shadows of others. I have no purpose beyond this.”

His words fell heavily on your chest, and in that moment, you understood the loneliness and weight Xiao carried. Without saying anything else, you placed a hand gently on his, the one holding the lantern, and he looked at you, surprised.

“It doesn’t matter what you wish for, Xiao. The important thing is that you are not alone tonight.”

His eyes softened slightly, and for the first time, you noticed a small crack in Xiao’s imperturbable facade. He took a breath, letting the lantern's flame reflect in his eyes before finally letting go.

The lantern floated away, taking with it a wish he might never get to say out loud.

Here is my masterlist, in case you are interested in any more of my work or want to send me a request <3

[thebiggestlovergirlever]

Hey lovely, would you a do a jealous!Muzan x female!reader.. He doesn’t realise that he’s in love with her until he tasked her with getting something off someone (you chose who) and the way she does that is by seducing said person. Muzan gets super pissed off with her and starts ignoring her, reader decides to flirt with the upper moons just to piss off Muzan for ignoring her and all hell breaks loose. You decide what ends up happening, but they do end up getting together 😊

Ahhh Omg I love this idea!! Thank you sooo much for requesting (ur my first request ever!!) sorry if it’s not very fluent but I was so excited to write this :D!!

The town was bustling even though it was night, Muzan had sent you out to retrieve a few ingredients for his most recent attempt at being able to walk in the sun. You duck and weave through countless people till you finally reach the shop you were looking for “hello sir I need three nightshade flowers.” You state politely, the man looks you up and down before gathering them into a little bag “That will be 300¥” you sigh“oh I don’t have any money on me, could I pay you in another way?” You ask with a sly smirk resting on your face. His cheeks are dusted with a rosy color as you begin to move towards him. He smiles and grabs your hip firmly “oh yeah? And how so would you be paying me?” As you begin to undo his belt the door slams open and money is thrown on the counter. Muzan snatched the flowers, grabs your wrist, and drags you out to the woods, “What on earth where you doing?” He questioned, a sneer resting on his face. Confusion grows in your head “I was doing as you said and getting the nightshade,” you mutter, it ended up sounding more like a question making your confusion evident “What I walked in on was a mockery of the twelve kizuki, and demons in general.” Before you could respond he was gone and you were left to your thoughts.

As you headed to your home in the woods you kept going over the events from that night in your head, “Why was he so mad? I’ve seen him encourage many demons to do anything and everything to get less important things than that, so what makes it different when I do it?” You finally realized right before the sun rose, Lord Muzan was jealous. You and Muzan had always had a complicated past, for the last few centuries you had grown feelings for him wishing he would reciprocate those feelings, you would try to create conversation and pay him all your attention lovingly. Sadly he hardly even responded and when he did it was short and snippy. Unknown to you Muzan adored the attention you gave him, he enjoyed your stories of fighting demon slayers and finding trinkets on the ground to keep and decorate your home with, would he ever admit to you or himself that he felt the exact same way no not for now.

Realizing he was jealous you decided to take advantage of this and see if you could finally win his heart over. The next upper moon meeting you started with Douma, “Hello Douma, your hair looks lovely today have you done something to it?” You ask in a sweet tone trying your best to make your eyes look as attentive as possible “Ah Y/N thank you! I have recently eaten a much younger woman than usual she was 19 years old and I’ve noticed my hair and skin has been much smoother ever since,” he responded with his usual fake smile. You sent a quick glance towards Muzan and felt your heart begin to race as you saw him glaring down at Douma, you thought to yourself “it’s working!” As a grin grew on your face. “So has the younger girl helped with your muscle definition too? Because your pecs and arms look more muscle-ey than they did last meeting, can I feel?” You ask with a flirtatious giggle he responded in the same tone “of course my dear!” You grabbed his pecs and arms and made sure to giggle as you glanced up at Muzan. Anger was evident on his face, if looks could kill Douma would be six feet under, deciding to spare Douma any more issues with Muzan you moved to Akaza.

“Akaza you’re so strong, we should train together tomorrow,” you giggle giving him a glance up and down, unlike Douma, Akaza doesn’t care for small talk as much responding with a sneer “No thank you. I have better things to do.” As you continue to try and talk to him Muzan glares at a distance. His whole body is hot almost erupting with rage, He begins the meeting with an aggressive yell. The entire meeting you tried to focus but all you could take note of was Muzan’s angry demeanor. His eyebrows twitched as he snapped out orders at the rest of the upper moons, while you were left neglected.

At the sound of Nikime’s Biwa you were transported to a dark office, as far as the eye can see was books and documents. You walked over to a big desk covered in test tubes and equipment to make anything that would help concur the sun. The light snapped on and you quickly turn around, you stared at Muzan with a light smile, he stared back but with a cold glare. He saunters over to you, eyes drinking in your figure, “What were you doing before the meeting? Ignoring me is not a good decision Y/N.” You snicker quickly and respond “What are you talking about my lord? I wasn’t ignoring you, I just took the hint you didn’t want me wasting your time with my stupid stories and questions so I left you alone.” His features soften quickly as he moves closer, he gently grabs you face as he says quietly “I love your stories and your questions, what ever made you feel that way?” Placing your hands of his hard chest you whisper “You never responded, or seemed to care so I gave up,” you finally meet his eyes as he says “I care, I care about everything you do and say. I care so much that I would burn the world if you wished, I love you.” And with that You kiss, both silently acknowledging your shared love.

[incorrect-green-lantern-quotes]

I have so many questions about Tai Pham’s universe (Earth-98)

Like, Green Lantern: Legacy only mentions Tai's grandmother and John Stewart as Green Lanterns from Earth, and shows that Kim Tran was the hero always thwarting Sinestro in the past. On top of that, it seems like GLs are virtually unknown on Earth, judging by how Tai doesn't recognize their symbol despite it being very prominent on the ring he inherits from his grandma.

So the natural assumption is that Kim basically takes the place of Hal Jordan in this universe and thus history plays out differently enough that Earth only has two GLs. And while other superheroes probably do exist on Earth-98, judging by the Superman poster on Tai's wall, it seems like Kim mainly operated in secret or out in space.

(While raising her family and running a store that was a pillar of her community, no less. Hal wishes he had that level of mental stability.)

But then in Green Lantern: Alliance, Irey (Kid Flash) mentions Hal, and Kyle shows up at the end! So does that mean a version of Emerald Twilight happened in this reality too?? And if so, was it still Hal who got possessed by Parallax or did Sinestro go for a different target?

Kim's hair does get those ominous gray streaks...

Tbf she was already a grandmother by this point, and subsequent flashbacks show her hair turning evenly gray over time. So this is more likely just Kim aging naturally, and not a sign of her unknowingly hosting the ancient embodiment of fear.

Parallax speculations aside, GL:A doesn't shy away from incorporating the wider DC universe. Flashbacks show that Kim not only fought alongside Superman and the Flash, but seemed to be just as much a mentor for them as she was for John. And that does make a lot of sense, she was already Green Lantern during the Vietnam War. She's been doing the superhero thing since Clark and Wally were still in diapers.

Which begs the question, was Kim part of the Justice League? Did she help found it, or was that still Hal? Was there even a Justice League in this Earth???

(Tai does suggest he and Irey form a "Junior Justice League," thereby implying that the actual Justice League does exist)

I know I probably sound like a crazy person ranting in front of a conspiracy board. Truth be told, the easy explanation is Tai Pham's story is about him and Kim's legacy, so these questions aren't important enough for Minh Le to waste time answering. And since Earth-98 is an alternate universe, there's no reason to assume that things had to happen a certain way just because they did in main continuity.

But I still have so many questions!! How did Kim get her ring? Did Abin Sur crash in Vietnam instead of America?? Do the Teen Titans exist or do Tai and Irey start that in this universe??? What about the the JSA-

*gets dragged off-stage*

If you've made it this far, thanks for putting up with the brainrot, it will happen again. Anyways, I leave you with this little headcanon: Kim probably named her family's cat after Hal

[m1d-45]

renewed

summary: many things have changed in aether's life since he met you...

word count: 2.7k

-> warnings: n/a

-> gn reader (you/yours) + aether as traveller!

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @ryuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk

< masterlist >

aether isn’t quite human. at least not entirely, not anymore.

it could be argued that even prior to coming to teyvat, he and his sister weren’t entirely human. they were nearly always stronger than the native life wherever they traveled, never lingering long enough for an accurate portrait to be drawn. between their glittering wings and the razor sharp swords at their hips, it could be easily argued that from the perspective of the people they visited they could be called angels.

a few wrote legends about them. the gilded warriors with shimmering swords that blinded as they slashed, so in step with each other that it was as if they were one being. the saviors, the adventurers, the peaceful giants, twin faces atop four wings apiece. lumine always managed to sneak away a copy of these legends, and they privately laughed over the artwork at their camp that night.

“we don’t look that intimidating, do we?”

“i’m fairly certain-… hang on, is that a tail?”

“that’s supposed to my hair, i think.”

“no no, look. it connects lower, here.”

“…by the stars-”

they didn’t see themselves that way, though. they were simply twins, defined by the other in every sense. never apart for long, always stood side by side, trading swords before a dangerous fight as a promise to return them.

‘draw me with courage.’

‘wield me with valor.’

lumine and aether and aether and lumine. they never fussed about the order, so long as they were together. call them whatever you’d like, insults or praise or a simple, tired request to leave, as long as it was both of them. they were all they had left. the other half of their life. to try and pry apart the seam would only result in bleeding hearts, limbs tangling together to at least die by the other’s side. even ‘twin’ was too simple a word to fit the entirety of their lives into. ‘twin’ implied a degree of separation, an impossible gap between them where wind would blow and the world would dig into, pushing them away like waves in a boat’s wake. ‘twin’ was too shallow a word, to bitter, too small to encompass everything they felt.

such fervent devotion could never be considered ‘human,’ for no human would ever live long enough to know the fear that came with knowing everything that swelled would eventually fall. no human would clutch so desperately to the twin pillars in their life—would ever consider basing their world upon two things. they’d call it foolish, even, for what would you do if one collapsed?

aether never liked that question. he didn’t like it when he and lumine first heard it, he didn’t like it when he and lumine heard it a second time, he didn’t like it anytime he and lumine heard it after that. he didn’t like it now, her sword slipping from his hands as he reached, his fingers barely brushing hers.

the unknown god laughed, and he barely had time to feel rage before the world closed in on him and his memory faded away.

aether and lumine. lumine and aether. she was always insistent upon his safety, but just this once he wished she wasn’t. living in whatever stasis she was in within that cube would certainly hurt less than this, bile rising in his throat at his failure.

somewhere in his mind, he knew that it logically wasn’t his fault. he remembered the layer of warmth that had surrounded him mid-battle, saw the reflection of understanding in lumine’s eyes. it wasn’t technically his fault, he didn’t ask to be saved, ignoring that it was his own actions that led to his god’s blessing. perhaps if he wasn’t so strict about the time of his prayer he wouldn’t have to be alone on this beach, though there was no way to find out. the sand stretched on either side, and though it wasn’t infinite, he had not left the immediate area around where he’d first woken up. to move was to move on, to leave, to accept that his world had shattered into a thousand little fragments and to give up on picking them off the floor. he couldn’t leave. to leave was to surrender to this new fate. to leave was to forget about his sister, to forget about his self, to forget about the half of his life he never imagined he could lose.

family and faith. to lose his gods favor was a threat he could live with, as there would only be himself to blame. but his sister?

if he hadn’t fished up paimon, he’s not certain he would have eaten the fish that came up instead.

she was bright, bubbly, at least after coughing up an impossible amount of seawater. she thanked him profusely while wringing out her hair, insisting on helping him in return because “it’s only fair!” as if he wasn’t three times her weight (save her magic) and and ten times as strong.

and he let her. he’s not sure why, but he did. he watched her fumble to catch crabs, ending up covered in sand, and managed a weak smile. it was for her, he told himself, spearing three with a sword that wasn’t his, helping her arrange driftwood into a measly campfire. he hardly felt hungry despite being on the beach for what had to be a few months in local time, but she was so insistent that he have some.. it was for her benefit. he just had to get her somewhere safe, then… then…

“so, where are you from?”

aether looked up from his barely-touched meal, meeting her eyes. they were so wide and earnest, too trusting for someone that just met him.

not that he had any ill intentions. no, lumine would always joke that the day he was willingly rude to another would be the day the sky turned red—something that had been the case on one of the planets they’d visited, much to her delight.

aether turned back to the fire, pushing aside the memory. “another planet.” his voice was hoarse and his throat scratched with salt from attempting to drink the seawater earlier, which was not as potable as he’d hoped. “i flew here with my sister.”

“you have a sister?” paimon looked around, though they both knew she wouldn’t find anything. “where is she?”

aether swallowed salt and bile, taking another bite of his crab just to stall. “how about we talk in the morning?”

she let the topic drop.

he didn’t sleep that night, lending her his scarf as a pillow and keeping watch. she didn’t wake when the moon erased the shadows in the sand, or when the sun first crested the sea, or when the sky fully lightened to a pale blue, birdsong filling the air. one of the remnants from the fire found its way into his hand, reaching out to gently shake her awake. her eyes were heavy and she covered her mouth as she yawned, aether looking away before his own could water.

he drew nothing in the sand as she asked her questions—who are you, where’d you come from, who are you missing, what happened to her, why didn’t you do anything?—sketching out mountains and seas he wiped away as soon as they took form. he spoke for much longer than he meant to, his words pulled out as if they were tied to some invisible string.

when was the last time he was alone for this long?

paimon listened intently, brows drawn and frowning deeply, watching as he carved twin—twin, separated by time and space—stars into the sand. “so… what you’re trying to say is that you fell here… from another world? but when you wanted to leave, to go on to the next world, your path was blocked by some unknown god?”

wow, he wanted to snark, i didn’t know there was an echo out here! but the chance never came. magic gripped him by the throat and his eyes went wide in panic, his mouth shaping words he didn’t choose to say by force. he didn’t want to say what someone else told him to. he didn’t know what was going on. he was being pulled at some ghost’s whims, walking stiffly across the sand. it did not skid from beneath his feet, nor pull his balance one way or another. it was solid as stone, leading him up the beach without warning, without knowledge of why or when it would stop.

when was the last time he was this helpless?

(lumine.)

he stumbled across the shore on uncoordinated limbs, fighting fruitlessly. ahead, slime bubbled up from where the sand met the sea, but the ghost did not stop. mist coagulated into a pale blue blob with hazy spots for eyes, and only then was he allowed to stop. paimon yelped and ducked behind him, a familiar weight sinking into his hand. the slime had barely the chance to turn and see him, jerking up as if surprised, when his arm slashed forward.

a sword. not his sword, not lumine’s sword, but a sword, pulled from nowhere, the dull blade hacking at the blob of its own will until the sludge dispersed and sunk back into the sand. a soft mist lingered above the sand, but he was pulled forward without care or remorse. he didn’t even know if it would have hurt him.

weight hit him between the shoulders, cold spreading over his skin and absorbing into his skin. energy buzzed beside his ear, his earring humming with neither outlet nor conduit. were he anyone else, he would have been afraid, but he recognized the buzz. all at once, he understood. all at once, the weak puppetry was vindicated, his muscles relaxing and letting it happen. your energy sank into him, and he let himself stop worrying.

if you were here, he’d be okay. if you were here, you could fix this.

if you were here, he could find his sister, and everything would be okay again.

aether was not human. not entirely, not anymore, and he knew the people of mondstat could tell. you had stayed to guide his body for a week, alternating between helping the knights with dvalin and exploring the plains of mondstat. he was weak and your grip was frail, his attacks uncoordinated and clumsy, but you were there. you understood. the cavalry captain gave him a long stare as they exited his domain, a mix of curiosity and disbelief swirling in his one eye.

when you finally left, you did so in the middle of mondstat square. a physical weight lifted from his shoulders, the anemo he’d absorbed turning from calm and controlled to pushing at the edges of his form, trying to make him give. the anemo archon approached, soothing the wind with a wave of his hand, pulling him along for a drink and a chat. his knees did not want to bend without your command, his mind fraying a bit from continued exposure.

“how interesting, that you’re still standing after a week without rest,” the bartender remarked, the glass in his hands obviously an excuse to keep them above the bar. “what’s your name, outlander?”

he did not think of his own name. no, when he went to answer, he thought of the name you had given him, the one you whispered as you sheltered him from the unknown god’s wrath. it was not his, but it was yours, and wasn’t that what he was asking for?

it took too long for him to answer. red eyes narrowed but eventually chalked it up to exhaustion, giving him directions he couldn’t hear. the captain led him to a room in the back, but he didn’t sleep that night, sitting at the window and searching for the thin sliver of stars.

he didn’t need to eat anymore. he could, certainly, and it tasted fine enough, but he didn’t exactly need to. he’d thought it odd, at first, that barbatos was healed strictly by the wind, but he understood now. he spent his free time sitting under vanessa’s tree, half-asleep as he waited for your return.

you were his source of energy, of will. you knew answers to problems he’d have given up on, and if you didn’t then you tried and tried and tried again until you got it right. you were the power that purified dvalin’s tears, you swept the wind to fix the holy lyre, you cleared the seals around decarabian’s tower. he was a medium, and he was happy with that. your presence waxed and waned, the lapses without you seeming to pass by in a blink.

a few of the knights worried for him, but he knew your vessels understood. none held as much of your power as him, none were as reliant on you, but they understood. they excused his oddities with a kind smile, paimon always at his side to make sure he didn’t waste away the day simply sitting in one spot. prior to coming to teyvat, the concept of elemental sight was something he was only vaguely familiar with. a few planets had some talented witches that could feel the flow of energy through the ground and grass, who could watch the mist in the air and predict the weather. he’d never experienced it himself before. now, the world lit up as his eyes took on a teal sheen, your power mixing with the anemo within him to grant him insight. the world was so vibrant, even the most mundane sights capturing his attention. how could he not stare? if he had it his way he’d always view your creations like this.. but whenever paimon snapped him out of it he’d come out of it with a headache, not to mention his staring tended to be off-putting to those around.

a lot of his new behaviors were. when within your control, he moved stiffly, with repetitive motions forecast well in advance. you chose what he said, when and how he moved, you controlled the very flow of elements through his body. it was harder and harder to think for himself without you there and though paimon handled most of the conversation, there was only so much she could say.

“who are you looking for?” lumine. his sister. himself. the knowledge was there but his throat was closed, unwilling to move without your order.

“thank you for your help.” you’re welcome. don’t worry about it. it was nothing. all he could manage was a stiff nod, eyes flicking to the sky, counting the days until your return. he’d gotten a good grasp of your routine by now.

“who are you?” yours. a traveller. lumine’s. he could not blame those they ran across for their suspicion, even though he wanted to. could they not feel the remains of your presence lingering around him?

they had to go to the rite of decension soon. liyue was holding off, though, waiting for your arrival. they’d never dare to make you miss it, so aether felt no hurry to leave. he laid in the middle of windrise, staring up at the stars. he used to sit atop the knights’ headquarters, but it took too long for the lights of the city to turn out and he liked picking out the various constellations.

his was up there, somewhere. he didn’t have a vision like your other vessels, but he could feel it. it was written right beside your decision to save him and not lumine, alongside your actions in mondstat and everything you’d do in liyue. fate, you’d called it, well-acquainted and intertwined.

aether fell asleep on wet grass among cold wind. he did not get sick, nor was he attacked or otherwise hurt. why would he have been, anyway? your blood was in his veins; he had nothing at all to fear.

[zal-cryptid]

If Jen’s parents ever came to Toyland, would Jen have some choice words for them? Or would she just ghost them and stay away from them?

The following takes place after "Her Name Is Maria":

"It's done." Jen said, coming inside and shutting the door behind her.

"She won't be back around?" Eleanor inquired.

"No." Jen reassured, "I sent her far from here. Someplace fun."

"I do not wish to know where." Eleanor interjected, turning her face away and raising her palm, "The less I know, the better."

Eleanor walked over and sat down at her table and stared at the comically large tea cup before her. It had been the very one shattered by Maria when she first came to Toyland. Instead of leaving it broken, like she has been known to do with things that broke on her, she had it uncharacteristically repaired with kintsugi of all things.

"Thank you, Jennifer. I know you and Maria have...difficulties...confronting your parents."

Jennifer frowned and looked away. She hated how right she was. Maria would have unleashed a berserker rage upon any other person, but when confronted by her own mother? She ran and hid in a doll house. Jen's parents were the only ones Jen spared during her torture rampage. The reasons were complicated and flawed and emotional, so she understood why Maria didn’t just punch a hole in her mother's face.

But she put Eleanor's comment aside for now. There was another matter to discuss with her.

"'Hice un trato con Cabrón de Navidad.'" Jen calmly quoted from the woman she dragged to parts unknown.

Eleanor froze.

"Your Spanish is good." Eleanor replied.

"You're not planning on...using...Maria, are you?" Jen had never used this tone on Eleanor before. It sounded almost...protective. Eleanor had long learned not to question how Jen knew certain things and to especially not play dumb with her. She knew exactly what Jennifer was implying.

"No. Even if I wanted to, it wouldn't work anyway."

Eleanor paused and thought about the woman she was all those years ago, and how, just this morning, she confronted a woman just like her outside her house.

"Tell me, Jennifer, what would you do had your parents showed up in Toyland?"

A rush of revenge fantasies rushed through Jen's mind. So many years of pent-up anger just craving for some catharsis. But...she could never go through with it. Jen, like Maria, was scared of her parents. They held power over her. She felt like such a hypocrit.

"I'd remove the snake from the garden, like you had me do today." Jen finally answered, "I wouldn't want them ruining my paradise."