#But alienating them is partly what caused them to be his supporters
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they've always wanted us separate and fighting each other. because they know what'll happen when we do come together. let this be the moment in history when we finally showed them we're not going to fight each other on their behalf anymore. let this be the moment in time that creates the future we've always hoped for future generations: a future where we put aside our differences and come together for a common good. let this be the start of true change in our society. when we all finally said enough. when real change in our institutions begin so that there is a future generation born into a better world. it won't be easy but it is possible and maybe for the first time ever, attainable.
Trump voters on tiktok are EXTREMELY mad about the following:
They just found out what tariffs are
They just found out what denaturalization is
They (particularly black and Hispanic trump voters) just found out that other trump voters are racist
Leftists and liberals don't want to be their friends (they are furious about this)
Leftists keep telling them they hope they get what they voted for (they are really mad about this too)
#I'll be honest it *is* difficult to feel sympathy for them#But alienating them is partly what caused them to be his supporters#And big picture they aren't the disease#The disease are the ones in power who backed that bastard#It'd be so easy to hate the people who voted for him...so goddamn easy...#But if they're willing to realize what they did will fuck up everyone including them then we work together to fight him#We don't need to be friends but in the coming battles we do need allies#And if we can flip them to our side and help us fight him then maybe JUST FUCKING MAYBE we'll start to create a better future#A future where we start working together for the betterment of society#A future where we start making changes to give the next generation a better life#A future where histoians will look back and say THIS was the time and THIS was the moment we came together#In spite of our differences we come together to fight a common enemy not just for ourselves but for our future#And for the generations to come#Take Star Trek: as the series progressed previous enemies became allies#They've made us fight against each other long enough#It's time we band together and take the fight to them#They don't want us coming together because they know then they're fucked#So lets come together and FUCK.THEM.UP.
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Great article about Paul Schrader’s The Card Counter - a poker movie that’s not really a poker movie...
Some filmmakers write a hit movie and spend the ensuing years trying to escape its shadow. Paul Schrader never flinched. Forty-five years after his “Taxi Driver” script put him on the map, the writer-director has developed a body of work loaded with alienated anti-heroes compelled to violent and reckless extremes for the sake of a higher calling.
That includes “The Card Counter,” in which Oscar Isaac plays guilt-stricken Abu Ghraib vet William Tell, a man with a gambling addiction compelled to help the revenge-seeking son (Tye Sheridan) of a former colleague. Taking justice into his own hands, Isaac’s William Tell slithers through the Vegas strip in search of questionable salvation, not unlike a certain Vietnam vet named Travis Bickle did from the driver’s seat. As if to cement the comparisons, “The Card Counter” features Martin Scorsese as an executive producer, marking the first time the two men share a credit since 1999’s “Bringing Out the Dead.”
For Schrader, “Taxi Driver” comparisons are inevitable in all his work. “My tendency is to look for interesting occupational metaphors,” Schrader said in a recent interview. “‘Taxi Driver’ hit the bull’s eye of the zeitgeist and it doesn’t die. There’s no way I could’ve planned for that, but it does inform the stories I tell.”
At 75, Schrader continues to churn out movies much like his compatriot Scorsese, albeit on a much smaller scale. “The Card Counter” is the latest illustration of the secularized Christian dogma percolating through his work. “Our society doesn’t like to take responsibility for anything,” he said. “But I come from a culture where you’re responsible for everything. You come into the world soaked with guilt and you just get guiltier.” In his own prickly fashion, Schrader makes movies steeped in empathy for lost souls in search of redemption despite the daunting odds. “We’re all certainly capable of forgiveness,” he said, and chuckled. “Anyone who says otherwise is wrong.”
The “Taxi Driver” dilemma looms large in nearly all of Schrader’s work, from the dazzling high-stakes activism of “Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters” all the way through Ethan Hawke’s eco-conscious priest in “First Reformed.” While the latter, Oscar-nominated effort brought Schrader new fans, “The Card Counter” is an even more precise distillation of his aesthetic — a moody, philosophical drama about the vanity of the personal crusade.
Schrader, who has labeled his homegrown character studies as “man in the room” dramas, embraces the parallels as usual. “There is this kind of myth that the taxi driver was this friendly, joking kind of guy who was a character actor in movies,” he said. “But the reality is that it’s a very lonely job, and you’re trapped in a box for 60 hours a week.” He saw the same logic with gambling, a wayward profession generally depicted in the movies in the context of escapist romps, rather than the somber rituals that afflict most players. “I thought about the essence of playing cards every day, or sitting in front of a slot machine. It’s kind of zombie-like,” Schrader said. “You see commercials of people in casinos laughing. But it’s a pretty glum place. Today with slots you don’t even have to pull the lever. You just sit there and let the numbers roll.”
The gambling figure led Schrader to the bigger picture of his character’s conundrum. “I was wondering why someone would choose to live in that sort of purgatory,” he said. “He doesn’t want to be alive, but he can’t really be dead, either. What could cause that? It can’t be a simple crime, murder, or a family dispute. It has to be something unforgivable. And that was Abu Ghraib.”
After the fallout of that debacle, William did time in a military prison, and reenters society before the movie begins. That was a world the filmmaker wanted to understand in clearer terms. Though Schrader has received blowback for his controversial Facebook posts in the past, in this case, the platform was an asset: He used it to track down soldiers who had done time in the United States Penitentiary in Leavenworth, the only military prison in the U.S., to better understand the initial claustrophobic world that Tell endures, as well as the conflict between the justice he’s received and what he deserves. “This man has been punished by his government, set free, and paid his due, but he doesn’t feel that,” Schrader said. “What does he do then? How does he fill his time? That’s how it all began.”
Schrader himself toyed with gambling when he lived in Los Angeles early in his career, but soon gave it up. “I very quickly realized I was only interested in gambling if it was really dangerous and I didn’t want to expose myself to that kind of danger,” he said. Years later, though, the experience helped inform his story. “There is this whole fantasy of gambling movies from ‘The Cincinnati Kid’ to ‘California Split,’” Schrader said. “But poker is all about waiting. People will play 10 to 12 hours a day and two to three times a day, a hand will happen where two players both have chips. Now you’ve got a face-off. But that doesn’t happen very often. Most guys who are there are running the numbers, the probability.”
He envisioned “The Card Counter” as a repudiation of the traditional poker movie, which builds to the giddy release of a final tournament. When that moment arrives in the movie, Schrader takes the movie in a bleak, shocking new direction. “It’s not really a poker movie — that’s a red herring,” he said.
William is immersed in his casino journey when he encounters Cirk (Sheridan), the crazy-eyed son of another Abu Ghraib soldier who committed suicide. Cirk blames the soldiers’ former commander (Willem Dafoe), and hopes to loop William into the plan. Instead, the older man decides to take Cirk under his wing to talk him out of the act, which doesn’t prove so easy. In the process, the gambler forms a curious bond with La Linda (Tiffany Haddish), a gambling agent and pimp whose icy, relentless drive to make the most out of the poker circuit brings William some measure of companionship on his wayward journey.
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It should come as no surprise that the “Girls Trip” breakout is nearly unrecognizable in the role of the calculated La Linda, which is also a distinctly Schraderish touch: From his work with Richard Pryor in 1978’s “Blue Collar” all the way through Cedric the Entertainer’s supporting turn in “First Reformed,” Schrader has made a habit of seeking out comedic actors willing to play against type. That’s partly opportunistic on his part. “They’re eager to do it because they want to expand their palette, so you can get them for a price,” Schrader said, chuckling again. “That’s necessary, given the kind of films I make.” But that’s not all: “They will always find a way to be interesting, even when they’re not getting a laugh.”
Which is not to say that the process comes easily to them. Haddish recently told the New York Times that Schrader had to coach her out of speaking in a comedic sing-song. The filmmaker put it in blunter terms. “On the first reading of the script we had, frankly, she wasn’t very good,” he said. “I told her to go back and read every single line without emotion. Then I said, ‘You’re not going to do that in front of the camera, but you can’t hit every line either. So let’s pick five or six lines you can hit where you get a smile or reaction.’ Quickly she got that it was a different rhythm.”
As for Isaac, whose disquieting turn suggests a maniac lingering just beneath the surface, Schrader once again turned to metaphor. “I told him to imagine himself on a rocky coast in the ocean,” Schrader said. “Waves are going to come up and get you all day every day. They’re going to try to batter you. Let them. The waves will go away. You’ll still be there. Don’t compete. In the end, the rocks will win. You have to learn to trust that the way these things are put together has more power than the individual movement.”
William’s routine includes an odd ritual in which he covers all the furniture in his various Vegas hotel rooms with white paper. While the motivation is never explained, Schrader said it stemmed from an experience with production designer Ferdinando Scarfiotti on the set of 1982’s “Cat People,” when Schrader realized the man was doing the same thing. “He said, quite simply, ‘I have to live here surrounded by these ugly hotel furnishings,’” Schrader recalled. The concept inspired the new movie’s most compelling visual motif. “Casinos are very ugly places. There are no exceptions,” Schrader said. “Often you aspire to finding pockets of beauty and there weren’t really any here except the only place he could control, which was his hotel rooms, where he could privatize his visions. I came up with this ritual for him to control those visuals.”
At a certain point, Schrader himself couldn’t control the visuals of “The Card Counter” for more prosaic reasons: After an extra tested positive for COVID-19, the production shut down last March, with five days of shooting left, and couldn’t resume until July. Though Schrader initially took to Facebook to fume at his producers, the pause eventually opened up an opportunity to tweak his vision. “I edited the film and put in placeholders for the five or six scenes of consequence that I hadn’t shot,” he said. “I didn’t have a fully finished film but I could screen it for people. Normally you only get that privilege if you have a big-budget film and you’re allowed reshoots.” The early audience included Scorsese, who provided a crucial note. “I asked Marty, ‘What am I missing?’ He said to me that the relationship with Tiffany and Oscar was too thin. So I rewrote those scenes.”
Schrader asked Scorsese to take on the executive producer credit as a favor. “I said, ‘Marty, wouldn’t it be nice to share a card again? I thought it would help sell the film but it would also be a cool thing to do after all these years,’” Schrader said. “Then a couple of weeks later his agent called wanting to work out a deal. What deal? I asked Marty and he said yes. That’s the deal!” Now, the pair are trying to collaborate on a new long-form TV series based on the Bible, though the timing has been delayed by production on Scorsese’s upcoming “Killers of the Flower Moon.”
In the meantime, Schrader has been mulling over the way “Taxi Driver” not only continues to inform his storytelling but the world at large. “Hardly a week goes by that I don’t notice or hear some reference to it,” he said. “But I don’t know how you’d tell such a story today. A number of writers have tried and I don’t think they’ve succeeded because it has to come out of a certain place and time. We have plenty of these incels around, but they’re not as original or revealing as they were 45 years ago when that character came on the scene. I wouldn’t know how to write about it.”
Instead, his next project is a love triangle called “Master Gardener,” which he hopes to shoot in Louisiana before the end of the year. He has several other potential scripts ready to go after that. And while he has expressed trepidation about the future of cinema in the past, he’s not convinced that audiences have given up on it yet. He recalled a conversation he had with Cedric the Entertainer when “First Reformed” made the rounds. “He said off-handedly to me, ‘You know, I didn’t realize there were so many people who liked serious movies,’” Schrader said, and chuckled once more. “Well, yeah, there are.”
“The Card Counter” premieres next week at the Venice Film Festival. Focus Features releases on September 10, 2021.
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#oscar isaac#the card counter#paul schrader#martin scorsese#tiffany haddish#tye sheridan#willem dafoe#taxi driver#master gardener#indiewire
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“Abominable neglect and unkindness”: Fanny Price and Trauma
I have C-PTSD, and it’s really been on my mind as I’ve been rereading Mansfield Park by Jane Austen: her heroine of Fanny Price is so OBVIOUSLY traumatized that I started making notes upon notes upon notes in my kindle copy on her symptoms and their causes. A couple of my followers said they’d be interested to read my analysis if I wrote it up, and it doesn’t take much to encourage me to put a few thousand words on the page screen! So below is my (probably WAY too long) analysis of Fanny Price’s emotional trauma and complex PTSD (a form of PTSD often caused by long-term emotional abuse/neglect). It’s hella long. sorrynotsorry lol
*unleashes inner academic*
Part 1: How Fanny Price Was Traumatized
Trauma 1: She is taken from family and home.
Okay, imagine this: You’re ten years old. You grew up in a noisy, lower-middle-class family with multiple little siblings and both your parents. You are the oldest girl, and are important to all the members of your family because you act as “playfellow, instructress, and nurse” to your younger siblings. You are also “exceedingly timid and shy”. And suddenly you find out that your mother is SENDING YOU AWAY--far, far away--to aunts and uncle and cousins you’ve never met before, to be raised by THEM instead of your parents. Leaving everything else out of the equation for a second, that by itself would be ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING. You would feel like your parents didn’t love you and didn’t want you. You weren’t important to them. You might wonder what you did wrong to be sent away. And THEN it turns out you’re NEVER COMING BACK. EVER. Fanny doesn’t see her family again until she is, I think nineteen years old. At first, she doesn’t even have the means to write to her brother William, which was to be her ONLY connection to her family: it seems her parents don’t write to her at all over the course of the novel.
All of this would be bad enough. But to come to a place that was entirely alien to everything you had known... I mean, think about it. This is Mansfield Park, an ENORMOUS house with MANY servants, a completely different way of doing things. There’s MONEY. Even the items around you are of a totally different quality than you’re used to: Austen says of Fanny’s initial impression of Mansfield, “The grandeur of the house astonished, but could not console her. The rooms were too large for her to move in with ease: whatever she touched she expected to injure, and she crept about in constant terror of something or other; often retreating towards her own chamber to cry.” The accent people speak with is probably different. The vocabulary is probably different. And everybody DEFINITELY thought she was under-educated (more about this in a bit) because she didn’t have the education of a gentleman’s daughter--because she ISN’T a gentleman’s daughter. It must have caused her intense culture shock.
Trauma 2: William’s absence
It’s clear that in her childhood in Portsmouth, William is the dearest member of Fanny’s family (see below for a discussion of her parents). When Fanny first arrives at Mansfield, Edmund discovers that,
dear as all these brothers and sisters generally were, there was one among them who ran more in her thoughts than the rest. It was William whom she talked of most, and wanted most to see. William, the eldest, a year older than herself, her constant companion and friend; her advocate with her mother (of whom he was the darling) in every distress. ‘William did not like she should come away; he had told her he should miss her very much indeed.’
Fanny’s one really warm and loving connection seems to be with William, and she is parted from him, first by her move to Mansfield, and then by his going to sea:
Once, and once only, in the course of many years, had she the happiness of being with William. Of the rest [of her Portsmouth family] she saw nothing: nobody seemed to think of her ever going amongst them again, even for a visit, nobody at home seemed to want her; but William determining, soon after her removal, to be a sailor, was invited to spend a week with his sister in Northamptonshire before he went to sea. Their eager affection in meeting, their exquisite delight in being together, their hours of happy mirth, and moments of serious conference, may be imagined; as well as ...the misery of the girl when he left her. Luckily the visit happened in the Christmas holidays, when she could directly look for comfort to her cousin Edmund.
Fanny continues a correspondence with William when he is at sea, but it’s clear that his long absence from her life is very difficult for her.
One final note on her being parted from her family for long intervals: I think we might actually see a sign of this trauma in an emotional flashback later in the book.
For those unfamiliar with complex PTSD, flashbacks don’t always mean that you have a sort of hallucination of a traumatic experience. In the case of complex PTSD and PTSD from early childhood trauma, flashbacks often occur in the form of “emotional flashbacks”: instead of re-experiencing the sensory input of the traumatic experience (seeing and hearing the experience all over again when triggered), emotional flashbacks consist ONLY of the emotional content of the trauma. They result in sudden rushes of negative emotions such as fear, shame, sorrow, despair, embarrassment, anger, etc. This may be partly because the trigger is acting on so many different traumatic memories at once (the brain can’t just pick out one to show to you) and partly because the traumatic memory being triggered is from so early in your childhood that you don’t have a direct memory of it anymore, just the trauma memory. Emotional flashbacks can be identified by comparing the emotional response to the stimulus: If the emotion is inappropriate for the situation or inappropriately intense, it may well be a flashback.
In this scene, Miss Crawford--whom Fanny does not care for at all--is taking her leave of Fanny: I find it to be illuminating.
And embracing her very affectionately, “Good, gentle Fanny! when I think of this being the last time of seeing you for I do not know how long, I feel it quite impossible to do anything but love you.”
Fanny was affected. She had not foreseen anything of this, and her feelings could seldom withstand the melancholy influence of the word “last.” She cried as if she had loved Miss Crawford more than she possibly could.
It sounds to me as if Fanny is having a negative reaction that is out of proportion for and inappropriate to the situation. Miss Crawford is leaving, and Fanny is GLAD that she is leaving. Nonetheless, she is involuntarily emotionally “affected” by Miss Crawford’s goodbye, and cries far more than is actually in keeping with her feelings. It seems like Fanny is triggered by the leave-taking and “the melancholy influence of the word ‘last’.” Fanny has had traumatic leave-takings from her family and her beloved William; and things like “This is the last time I’ll see you for who knows how long” must have been said to her before in intensely traumatic situations. So it’s no wonder she gets triggered by this situation’s similarity to those and has an out-sized emotional response. Separations from her family and from William were definitely traumatic to her and reminders of them now trigger trauma responses.
Trauma 3: Emotional neglect by parental figures
Fanny might not have been so badly traumatized by leaving her family and being separated from William if she had had emotional support from adult caregivers. Research has shown that if a child has even ONE adult to whom they can talk openly about their feelings, that can insulate them against the effects of trauma.
Fanny doesn’t have this. Both Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram are emotionally neglectful and distant.* Lady Bertram is pleasant, but is entirely self-centered and doesn’t really GAF about anybody or anything that doesn’t directly affect her. While she never abuses or hurts Fanny with unkindness, she also never comforts her, listens to her, or seems to do anything but get Fanny to fetch and carry for her and do half her sewing for her. There is a total lack of emotional connection between them until considerably later in the story.
[*Footnote: Miss Lee is surprisingly absent from the narrative and seems to be of no emotional support to Fanny whatsoever.]
Sir Thomas is worse. While he intends to take good care of Fanny--and to his credit, he does make sure she has her material needs met, is well educated, gets exercise, etc--he cannot be said to be NICE to her. Even when she first arrives, when he is trying his hardest to be kind, Austen says, “Sir Thomas, seeing how much she needed encouragement, tried to be all that was conciliating: but he had to work against a most untoward gravity of deportment.” He’s not good with kids, and he seems to be highly critical of Fanny, especially before his return from Antigua. Apparently he used to terrify her in childhood by catechizing her on her lessons in French in English, which implies he constantly found her wanting. His parting words to her on the beginning of his voyage to Antigua are downright scalding: “If William does come to Mansfield, I hope you may be able to convince him that the many years which have passed since you parted have not been spent on your side entirely without improvement; though, I fear, he must find his sister at sixteen in some respects too much like his sister at ten.”
JFC, Tommy-boy. Throttle back a little, can’t you?
He’s not popular even with his own daughters: Austen says of Maria and Julia, “Their father was no object of love to them; he had never seemed the friend of their pleasures, and his absence was unhappily most welcome. They were relieved by it from all restraint”. Sir Thomas comes across as a bit of a martinet, always finding fault and always saying no. At best, he doesn’t seem to be at all warm and encouraging, and appears to be almost entirely ignorant, not only of what Fanny’s character is like, but also about his own daughters’ characters.
There’s also the problem of his lack of understanding and compassion for Fanny. She describes him as “all that was clever and good,” but both his cleverness and goodness frequently seem to be lacking. He doesn’t understand Fanny’s feelings any more than he understands those of Maria, sending Edmund to sound Fanny out on the subject of Mr. Crawford because he CANNOT understand how a woman might not love a man that was clever, pleasant and rich. While he provided the money to raise Fanny, his disregard of her is clear when he sends her on a long visit to Portsmouth, where her health suffers. Even Crawford recognizes Sir Thomas’s likeliness to neglect her:
I know Mansfield, I know its way, I know its faults towards you. I know the danger of your being so far forgotten, as to have your comforts give way to the imaginary convenience of any single being in the family. I am aware that you may be left here week after week, if Sir Thomas cannot settle everything ... without involving the slightest alteration of the arrangements which he may have laid down for the next quarter of a year.
Sir Thomas, while priding himself (and being praised by others) as being so kind and clever, has low emotional intelligence and too little care for Fanny. Despite his occasional kindnesses, and her claim on his care as his direct dependent, she is not one of his priorities.
Of course, Fanny’s own parents would have had the strongest effects on her earliest years (especially considering the Prices didn’t seem to have a nanny or governess, so Mrs. Price would have been responsible for all her education, as well). It’s clear that Fanny’s mother didn’t show her much love in her early childhood: Mrs. Price is described as
“the ‘mama’ who had certainly shewn no remarkable fondness for her formerly; but this [Fanny] could easily suppose to have been her own fault or her own fancy. She had probably alienated love by the helplessness and fretfulness of a fearful temper, or been unreasonable in wanting a larger share than any one among so many could deserve.”
We can see Fanny here doing what so many emotionally neglected children do, making excuses for their parents and assuming that the emotional neglect and abuse they suffer are somehow THEIR fault. Many emotionally abused or neglected children believe that they’re too loud, too needy, too much, and even ugly, blaming themselves for their parents’ rejecting and disgusted behavior toward them.
It’s proven, however, when Fanny goes home, that her parents are just as neglectful of her as she felt them to be formerly. Her father is “negligent of his family”, and her mother clearly does not really love her:
Mrs. Price was not unkind; but, instead of gaining on her affection and confidence, and becoming more and more dear, her daughter never met with greater kindness from her than on the first day of her arrival. The instinct of nature was soon satisfied, and Mrs. Price’s attachment had no other source. Her heart and her time were already quite full; she had neither leisure nor affection to bestow on Fanny. Her daughters never had been much to her.* She was fond of her sons, especially of William, but Betsey was the first of her girls whom she had ever much regarded. To her she was most injudiciously indulgent. William was her pride; Betsey her darling; and John, Richard, Sam, Tom, and Charles occupied all the rest of her maternal solicitude, alternately her worries and her comforts. These shared her heart: her time was given chiefly to her house and her servants.
[*Footnote: I have to stop here for a moment and mention poor Susan, whom I like better at every reading. With Mrs. Price only loving her sons and Betsy, with Mary dead and Fanny gone, Susan was for years THE ONLY completely unloved child in the house, which must have been pretty awful. It’s clear that Fanny and Susan have suffered rather similar fates in being raised without love, and Susan only responds more with irritation and Fanny more with tears: “Susan was only acting on the same truths, and pursuing the same system, which [Fanny’s] own judgment acknowledged, but which her more supine and yielding temper would have shrunk from asserting. Susan tried to be useful, where she could only have gone away and cried”. Please tell me somebody’s written a sequel about Susan?]
Again, while Mr. and Mrs. Price are not CRUEL, they’re not KIND, either. They are deeply emotionally neglectful toward Susan and Fanny, and Mrs. Price shows favoritism for the rest of her children, thus hurting her daughters further. Fanny’s probable surmise when she was sent away that she was not loved or wanted by her parents unfortunately appears to be very true. While an adult like Fanny can rationalize such behavior by her parents (even if it pains her), a child cannot do so, and the Prices’ lack of love for their own daughter must have been traumatizing and contributed to her belief that she can never matter to anybody (more on this in a bit).
Trauma 4: Lack of Companionship: Maria and Julia (and Miss Lee)
Fanny’s education when she arrives at Mansfield is not that of a gentlewoman--hardly surprising, given both her family’s socioeconomic position and her mother’s busy-ness with her family and general indolence. Maria and Julia’s education on scholarly subjects is clearly much stronger (they’re also 2-3 years older than her), and we know that their moral education was neglected, so that they only care about whether Fanny is rich and well-educated like themselves:
They could not but hold her cheap on finding that she had but two sashes, and had never learned French; and when they perceived her to be little struck with the duet they were so good as to play, they could do no more than make her a generous present of some of their least valued toys, and leave her to herself, while they adjourned to whatever might be the favourite holiday sport of the moment, making artificial flowers or wasting gold paper.
They’re generous enough to give her presents (though their least-valued belongings), but not generous enough to actually spend time with her, and it appears that this pattern holds throughout Fanny’s time at Mansfield.
At first, Mrs. Norris, Sir Thomas, and Miss Lee all think her actually stupid instead of just ill-educated: we are told that not only did Miss Lee “[wonder] at her ignorance,” but
A mean opinion of her abilities was not confined to [Sir Thomas and Mrs. Norris]. Fanny could read, work [that means “sew”], and write, but she had been taught nothing more; and as her cousins found her ignorant of many things with which they had been long familiar, they thought her prodigiously stupid, and for the first two or three weeks were continually bringing some fresh report of it into the drawing-room.
You would think that the adults at least would realize that Fanny hadn’t had the opportunity of a gentlewoman’s education, but no, they attribute it to natural stupidity instead of opportunity:
“My dear,” their considerate aunt would reply, “it is very bad, but you must not expect everybody to be as forward and quick at learning as yourself.”
It is only Edmund who perceives that Fanny is not only NOT stupid, she’s actually clever:
He knew her to be clever, to have a quick apprehension as well as good sense, and a fondness for reading, which, properly directed, must be an education in itself. Miss Lee taught her French, and heard her read the daily portion of history; but he recommended the books which charmed her leisure hours, he encouraged her taste, and corrected her judgment: he made reading useful by talking to her of what she read, and heightened its attraction by judicious praise.
One wonders, if a sixteen-year-old boy hadn’t decided to undertake part of Fanny’s education himself, how much worse off would she have been?
That Fanny’s companionship fell almost entirely to a teenage boy six years her senior who spends most of the year away at boarding school/university, is a ringing indictment of the behavior of Maria and Julia, and of those who should have been encouraging them to make a friend of their cousin.
Trauma 5: Mrs Norris (who gets a fucking section all her own)
Here we are. We’ve finally come to it. The other four traumas would certainly have been sufficient to cause C-PTSD, but JFC, Mrs. Norris could have caused it all by her lonesome. While she comes across as amusing in Austen’s sardonic style, she is absolutely toxic for Fanny’s mental health.
Mrs. Norris seems to have had an out-sized effect on the three Mansfield girls. Generally, mothers were in charge of the education of their daughters (even if indirectly, through a governess), so while Sir Thomas did examine them on their lessons, it was really supposed to be Lady Bertram’s job to see to their practical and moral education. But Lady Bertram is an absolute zero, a completely passive character, and Austen says directly that, “To the education of her daughters Lady Bertram paid not the smallest attention.” So it seems like the much more active Mrs. Norris stepped in, and her influence was extremely strong with all three of them, despite her being married and having her own house and her own concerns for the first seven or so years of Fanny’s time at Mansfield.
We can see her influence with all three in the fact that all three of the Mansfield girls end up evaluating themselves in almost perfect accordance to how Mrs. Norris evaluated them. Maria, the golden child*, became very spoiled and proud and thought she could do almost whatever she wanted. Fanny, the scapegoat, came to believe that her only worth was in being “useful” (Mrs. Norris’s hobby-horse) and that she could never be of any importance to anybody. And Julia, while closer to Maria’s level of treatment than Fanny’s, also suffers from comparisons to the golden child:
That Julia escaped better than Maria was owing, in some measure, to a favourable difference of disposition and circumstance, but in a greater to her having been less the darling of that very aunt, less flattered and less spoilt. Her beauty and acquirements had held but a second place. She had been always used to think herself a little inferior to Maria.
[*footnote: Treating one child as the golden child and one as the scapegoat is a very common tactic of abusive caregivers. The scapegoat becomes entirely worn down in self-esteem so that she is powerless to fight back against the abuse. The golden child and other children see how the scapegoat is treated and try hard not to rock the boat because they don’t want to end up like that.]
Mrs. Norris teaches Fanny from the beginning to judge and reject her own natural emotions. On her first traumatic separation from her family, Mrs. Norris lectures her incessantly on how she ought to be HAPPY, not sad:
Mrs. Norris had been talking to her the whole way from Northampton of her wonderful good fortune, and the extraordinary degree of gratitude and good behaviour which it ought to produce, and her consciousness of misery was therefore increased by the idea of its being a wicked thing for her not to be happy.
Fanny is taught to regard her own natural feelings as “wicked”, especially when they are a negative reaction to how the Bertram/Norris family treats her. While she can see some of her own feelings as just--when they have been sanctioned by Edmund’s judgment--any feeling that tends away from perfect gratitude toward the Bertram/Norris family she immediately rejects as an immoral response. She frequently takes herself to task at these moments. Anger and resentment are natural responses meant to help us protect ourselves against mistreatment from others, and this self-defending response is entirely squelched by Mrs. Norris’s behavior to her.
Mrs. Norris’s behavior toward Fanny is not only emotionally abusive; it is also at least physically neglectful, if not physically abusive. Despite the fact that everyone agrees that Fanny “is not strong”, Mrs. Norris makes a lot of difficulties in Edmund’s attempts to make sure Fanny has a horse to ride, and also refuses to allow Fanny a fire in the East Room, even in the middle of winter, a privation that ever Sir Thomas thinks bad enough that he countermands it--though doing so with a little explanatory disclaimer to Fanny explaining why Mrs. Norris MEANS well and why Fanny shouldn’t dare to be angry, or indeed anything but immensely and forever grateful for their neglectful treatment of her:
Your aunt Norris has always been an advocate, and very judiciously, for young people’s being brought up without unnecessary indulgences; but there should be moderation in everything. She is also very hardy herself, which of course will influence her in her opinion of the wants of others. And on another account, too, I can perfectly comprehend. I know what her sentiments have always been. The principle was good in itself, but it may have been, and I believe has been, carried too far in your case. I am aware that there has been sometimes, in some points, a misplaced distinction; but I think too well of you, Fanny, to suppose you will ever harbour resentment on that account. You have an understanding which will prevent you from receiving things only in part, and judging partially by the event. You will take in the whole of the past, you will consider times, persons, and probabilities, and you will feel that they were not least your friends who were educating and preparing you for that mediocrity of condition which seemed to be your lot. Though their caution may prove eventually unnecessary, it was kindly meant; and of this you may be assured, that every advantage of affluence will be doubled by the little privations and restrictions that may have been imposed. I am sure you will not disappoint my opinion of you, by failing at any time to treat your aunt Norris with the respect and attention that are due to her.
~*GAAASSSSS-LIGHTINNNNGGGGGGG*~
“Oh, shit, you’ve been freezing to death here for years because your aunt’s an abusive asshole. Oh, but there are three million excuses for her, and also you’re SO GOOD AND GRATEFUL that I KNOW you’ll never allow yourself to see it for the abuse it was, and aren’t you so GRATEFUL to us all for everything we’ve done for you? We MEANT well. And being abused was good for you anyway. If you ever get mad at your abusers I’ll treat you with withering criticism.”
*gagggg* I could write an entire essay explicating the gaslighting in that passage ALONE.
I could go on and on about Mrs. Norris’s abusive behavior toward Fanny, but I think most of it’s perfectly obvious to the reader. I think a very interesting argument might be made on whether Mrs. Norris would count as having a form of narcissistic personality disorder--always worried about her own importance, living through her golden child Maria, taking everything out on her scapegoat, insisting always on associating her own value with that of Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram and insisting on Fanny’s status being lower because her own self-esteem is dependent on being as good as her sister Bertram and better than her sister Price. Might be interesting.
Part 2: Fanny Price’s Trauma Responses
Complex emotional trauma expresses itself in a number of symptoms and behaviors. We’ve already talked about emotional flashbacks, and I’m going to look at four more major aspects of Fanny’s trauma responses.
Anxiety and Hypervigilance
People with PTSD often suffer from hypervigilance, where their body is constantly on high alert for threats in their environment. These threats are not only physical threats (resulting in things like jumping really hard at sudden noises) but also interpersonal threats. For instance, whenever I hear people talking really quietly in my house, I stop whatever I’m doing and listen REALLY HARD because I’m worried they’re talking about me and it’s gonna be bad.
Fanny exhibits this same behavior when she has retreated to the East Room when Crawford is in the house to propose to her:
She sat some time in a good deal of agitation, listening, trembling, and fearing to be sent for every moment; but as no footsteps approached the East room, she grew gradually composed, could sit down, and be able to employ herself, and able to hope that Mr. Crawford had come and would go without her being obliged to know anything of the matter.
Nearly half an hour had passed, and she was growing very comfortable, when suddenly the sound of a step in regular approach was heard; a heavy step, an unusual step in that part of the house: it was her uncle’s; she knew it as well as his voice; she had trembled at it as often, and began to tremble again, at the idea of his coming up to speak to her, whatever might be the subject. It was indeed Sir Thomas who opened the door and asked if she were there, and if he might come in. The terror of his former occasional visits to that room seemed all renewed, and she felt as if he were going to examine her again in French and English.
Her trembling at the sound of her uncle’s footsteps looks like hypervigilance, and the fact of her childhood “terror” being “renewed” sounds like she’s having another flashback, since she so strongly associates the presence of her uncle in the East Room with those painful childhood visits. She reacts with physical symptoms of stress, trembling at his approach.
Fanny’s anxiety and hypervigilance also demonstrates itself in her being constantly convinced that people are going to be angry with her. When she turns Mr. Crawford down, for instance, she is CONVINCED that Miss Crawford is going to be furious with her, and fears to meet with her. Edmund tells her Miss Crawford isn’t REALLY angry with her, but cannot convince her:
The promised visit from “her friend,” as Edmund called Miss Crawford, was a formidable threat to Fanny, and she lived in continual terror of it. As a sister, so partial and so angry, and so little scrupulous of what she said... she was in every way an object of painful alarm. ...The dependence of having others present when they met was Fanny’s only support in looking forward to it. She absented herself as little as possible from Lady Bertram, kept away from the East room, and took no solitary walk in the shrubbery, in her caution to avoid any sudden attack.
Fanny is so terrified of a polite confrontation with Miss Crawford, whom she has never seen angry before, that she spends DAYS trying to never be alone so that she’ll feel protected by the presence of company! Of course, when Miss Crawford DOES visit, she’s nothing but friendly. But Fanny’s PTSD couldn’t allow her to believe that until it happened. Her anxiety is intense, and this sort of thing happens repeatedly over the course of the novel.
Over-accommodation of others / people-pleasing
Childhood emotional trauma frequently leads to people-pleasing behavior: doing what you do not want to do simply because someone else wants you to. To understand this, you have to put yourself into the point of view of a very young child or an infant. Children depend entirely on their caregivers for survival: they are aware of this on an instinctive level. If the caregiver shows them very conditional love, only appearing pleased with them when the child does things they like and displeased when the child does things that inconvenience them, the child quickly learns that they need to please their caregivers in order to survive. “Mom gets angry when I cry--Mom doesn’t like me to cry--if Mom gets angry at me, I could starve to death--I need to not cry.” Obviously this line of thinking happens on a subconscious rather than a conscious level, but it’s incredibly powerful nonetheless. I have found myself in situations where a person with some kind of power over me--a doctor, for instance--shows displeasure with something I say to them, and I INSTANTLY find myself backing off, making light of it, taking back everything I said, etc, even though I very much meant it and it needed to be said. The people-pleasing instinct is very strong and difficult to overcome.
In Fanny’s case, it isn’t just a matter of her caregivers showing her inconsistent love in early childhood. Even as an adult, she is fully aware that she needs to please the Bertrams, or she--and her family!--are SCREWED. She is entirely financially dependent on the Bertrams. If she displeases them, not only can they make her life at Mansfield even MORE uncomfortable than it already is, but they can send her back to Portsmouth. Even worse, they could stop their financial support of William and the financial support they are periodically sending to the rest of her family. Huge things hang on Fanny’s pleasing the Bertrams, and it’s small wonder she has developed the habit of trying to please everybody constantly (even her un-pleasable Aunt Norris).
Fanny repeatedly does things she doesn’t want to do, simply because someone asks or tells her to, even if there’s likely to be no major consequences if she doesn’t. One example is on Miss Crawford’s last visit to Mansfield, when Fanny is trying her darnedest to avoid speaking with her alone:
[Miss Crawford] was determined to see Fanny alone, and therefore said to her tolerably soon, in a low voice, “I must speak to you for a few minutes somewhere”; words that Fanny felt all over her, in all her pulses and all her nerves. Denial was impossible. Her habits of ready submission, on the contrary, made her almost instantly rise and lead the way out of the room. She did it with wretched feelings, but it was inevitable.
Fanny doesn’t want to talk to Miss Crawford alone. Fanny doesn’t NEED to talk to Miss Crawford alone. Fanny could stall, perhaps until Miss Crawford left. Nonetheless, the MOMENT Miss Crawford asks it of her, Fanny does it--even though she’s clearly terrified, feeling it “in all her pulses and all her nerves” (more on this physical reaction later). She acts almost like Ella Enchanted: she literally can’t say no.
Likewise, she doesn’t take opportunities she is offered to do things that she DOES wish to do. After a very long description of how much she wants to dance one evening, when her only chance of a partner is Tom, the following exchange occurs:
When he had told of his horse, [Tom] took a newspaper from the table, and looking over it, said in a languid way, “If you want to dance, Fanny, I will stand up with you.” With more than equal civility the offer was declined; she did not wish to dance. “I am glad of it,” said he, in a much brisker tone, and throwing down the newspaper again, “for I am tired to death.”
Fanny DOES want to dance, and the way that he worded the question, she could very well have said, “Yes, please,” and gotten up to dance with him. He has made it obvious that he doesn’t want to dance, and she has picked up on this and said--not only that they don’t have to dance, but the LIE that she doesn’t WANT to dance--in order to please him. Later Austen points Tom out as a hypocrite when he complains, “It raises my spleen more than anything, to have the pretence of being asked, of being given a choice, and at the same time addressed in such a way as to oblige one to do the very thing, whatever it be!” But while it is true that Tom left Fanny LITTLE choice in the matter, it is also true that a stronger character, like Miss Crawford, could probably have found a way to say that she DID want to dance, even with such an unencouraging questioner. Fanny cannot do this: she has been conditioned all her life to give in to people--because her very SURVIVAL has depended on it.
In particular, Mrs. Norris has squelched Fanny’s independence of spirit very firmly. At one point she observes, very unfairly,
There is a something about Fanny, I have often observed it before—she likes to go her own way to work; she does not like to be dictated to; she takes her own independent walk whenever she can; she certainly has a little spirit of secrecy, and independence, and nonsense, about her, which I would advise her to get the better of.”
As a general reflection on Fanny, Sir Thomas thought nothing could be more unjust.
Obviously, Mrs. Norris is completely wrong about this. But as long as she can project* the fault of independence on Fanny, and punish Fanny for this false fault, she can prevent her from ever developing it. By picking on the least little supposed sign of independence and harping on it for ages, Mrs. Norris can prevent Fanny from ever developing a will of her own.
[*Footnote: this is another thing narcissists do: they project their own bad behavior on to others. Mrs. Norris is definitely not secretive, but she is very “independent” and has a lot of “nonsense”--instead of consulting with others about what they actually need in any given situation, she TELLS them. She has no spirit of cooperation, and all her “services” to others tend to be officious and useless.]
Low self-esteem
I thought about putting this together with the section on Mrs. Norris, because Fanny’s self-esteem has been so much shaped by her aunt. This is the kind of message Mrs. Norris is constantly drilling into her about the lowness of her importance:
The nonsense and folly of people’s stepping out of their rank and trying to appear above themselves, makes me think it right to give you a hint, Fanny, now that you are going into company without any of us; and I do beseech and entreat you not to be putting yourself forward, and talking and giving your opinion as if you were one of your cousins—as if you were dear Mrs. Rushworth or Julia. That will never do, believe me. Remember, wherever you are, you must be the lowest and last.
This message is so entirely in keeping with the messages Mrs. Norris has been indoctrinating Fanny with over the years that she has fully internalized it. When a primary caregiver tells you over and over again that you do not matter to anyone, you come to believe it:
[Fanny:] “I can never be important to any one.”
[Edmund:] “What is to prevent you?”
“Everything. My situation, my foolishness and awkwardness.”
“As to your foolishness and awkwardness, my dear Fanny, believe me, you never have a shadow of either, but in using the words so improperly. There is no reason in the world why you should not be important where you are known. You have good sense, and a sweet temper, and I am sure you have a grateful heart, that could never receive kindness without wishing to return it. I do not know any better qualifications for a friend and companion.”
“You are too kind,” said Fanny, colouring at such praise; “how shall I ever thank you as I ought, for thinking so well of me.”
Fanny’s “I can never be important to any one” sounds very much like a triggered teenager sobbing, “Nobody will ever love me!” even while friends next to her are demonstrating that they DO love her. The survivor of this kind of abuse comes to a place where their beliefs do not reflect reality because their beliefs instead reflect the intense emotional rejection they have received from their main caregivers*. Fanny is important to Edmund, William, and Lady Bertram, but is convinced that she not only is NOT important to ANYONE, but never CAN be. She also convinced that she is foolish and awkward, probably by the early experiences at Mansfield when she didn’t know all the intricate rules of high society and was far behind Maria and Julia in her education. Fanny, though she is extremely shy, manages to carry off most things with surprising grace, and she is clever and has a wisdom and common sense in some things far beyond her years. Yet she is CERTAIN that she is “foolish and awkward”, because she has been repeatedly called so by authority figures in her life and almost all of her family at Mansfield.
[*Footnote: these extreme beliefs are often couched in “black-and-white” language: “EVERYBODY hates me, NOBODY loves me, I’ll NEVER be able to do it right, I’ll be alone FOREVER”. We can hear this in Fanny’s “I can NEVER be of importance to ANY ONE”.]
Fanny not only thinks very lowly of herself, she also is afraid of being praised or of anything that could possibly raise her self-esteem. For instance, in a discussion with Edmund, she explains why she never wants anybody to notice her:
[Edmund:] “Your uncle is disposed to be pleased with you in every respect; and I only wish you would talk to him more. You are one of those who are too silent in the evening circle.”
[Fanny:] “But I do talk to him more than I used. I am sure I do. Did not you hear me ask him about the slave-trade last night?”
“I did—and was in hopes the question would be followed up by others. It would have pleased your uncle to be inquired of farther.”
“And I longed to do it—but there was such a dead silence! And while my cousins were sitting by without speaking a word, or seeming at all interested in the subject, I did not like—I thought it would appear as if I wanted to set myself off at their expense, by shewing a curiosity and pleasure in his information which he must wish his own daughters to feel.”
“Miss Crawford was very right in what she said of you the other day: that you seemed almost as fearful of notice and praise as other women were of neglect.”
She is literally fearful of notice and praise--because Mrs. Norris has told her repeatedly throughout her life that she must NEVER shine more than Maria or Julia, must NEVER take attention away from them--a sort of vicarious narcissism. And Fanny feels that to receive a compliment, to state her own opinions, or even to TALK much in company is “stepping out of her place”, the high crime and misdemeanor of Mrs. Norris’s upbringing.
I was raised by a narcissistic caretaker, and I am sometimes suddenly overwhelmed with terror that I’m taking too much attention to myself and that I’m therefore BAD somehow. Because a narcissist (or their proxy, the golden child) must always be the center of attention, the scapegoat is emotionally punished for ever taking the spotlight. Mrs. Norris is disposed to be upset when Sir Thomas holds a dance in Fanny’s honor, and is only reconciled to it because SHE will be able to make herself the center of attention in the preparations.*
[*Footnote: I think another argument can be made for Mrs. Norris’s narcissism in her response to Crawford’s proposal to Fanny:
Angry she was: bitterly angry; but she was more angry with Fanny for having received such an offer than for refusing it. It was an injury and affront to Julia, who ought to have been Mr. Crawford’s choice; and, independently of that, she disliked Fanny, because she had neglected her; and she would have grudged such an elevation to one whom she had been always trying to depress.
Mrs. Norris is DETERMINED to put Fanny down, as the scapegoat, and is offended that one of her golden children (her emotional stand-in) is shown less honor in this situation than the scapegoat. For the scapegoat to be elevated and her narcissistic stand-in to be neglected induces a narcissistic rage.]
“Sensibility” and High Sensitivity
In the 18th century, a theory and “culture of sensibility” grew up in places like Britain, France, Holland, and the British colonies. Encyclopedia.com’s article on sensibility states, “Sensibility (and ‘sensible’ and ‘sentiment’) connoted the operation of the nervous system, the material basis for consciousness.” But the workings of the nervous system, they believed, affected more than just the physical body. Some people, it was held, had greater sensibility than others: their nerves were more easily affected by not only physical but also emotional and moral input, and they responded accordingly--not just in word and in deed, but in tears, blushes, trembling, fainting, etc. It was believed that people’s emotional responses AND physical responses could tell you something about their physical AND moral makeup. A truly modest woman, for instance, would blush and look confused when confronted with something that offended her maidenly modesty. A woman--or indeed, man--who was truly moral and “sensible” would be emotionally affected by something sad, such as a tale of oppression, to the point of openly weeping. A heroine of sensibility would most likely faint if threatened with something she found, not only physically frightening, but morally abhorrent (such as a forced marriage). This is part of the reason for what seems to use like excessive emotional reactions in some 18th-century novels: the writer is demonstrating her characters’ moral superiority through their physical sensibility.*
[*Footnote: Encyclopedia.com adds, “The coexistence of reason and feeling was assumed, but the proportion of each was endlessly debated, above all because of what many saw as the dangers of unleashed feelings... [After the French Revolution,] The debate over the proportions of reason and feeling in persons of sensibility was politicized, and the need for women to channel their feelings toward moral and domestic goals was reemphasized. The word ‘sentimental,’ which had been used positively, became a label for ‘excessive sensibility’ and self-indulgence.” We can see this conflict clearly in Austen’s Sense and Sensibility!]
There is, in fact, a modern equivalent to the 18th century idea of sensibility: the concept of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). First proposed by Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Person (1996), the theory suggests that SPS
is a temperamental or personality trait involving "an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli". The trait is characterized by "a tendency to 'pause to check' in novel situations, greater sensitivity to subtle stimuli, and the engagement of deeper cognitive processing strategies for employing coping actions, all of which is driven by heightened emotional reactivity, both positive and negative". (wikipedia)
While some people have mocked this theory as pseudoscience, Aron is by no means the only researcher to have studied it, and a great many people who suffered from people telling them “You’re too sensitive” when they were hurt have taken comfort in the positive affirmation that high sensitivity is a natural phenomenon and can even at times be regarded as a strength rather than a character flaw.
It seems to me that there is a good deal of overlap between those who self-identify or may be identified as HSPs and those who have C-PTSD. Whether this is because greater emotional sensitivity leads to a greater incidence of traumatic responses to negative experiences, or whether high sensitivity is itself a product of repeated childhood trauma, I can’t say. (Heck, it could even be that the HSP’s belief that they’re over-sensitive comes from childhood gaslighting!)
What I can say is that Fanny Price exhibits, not only hypervigilance, but also what Austen would call “great sensibility” and I would call “SPS”. Fanny has the greatest sensibility of any character in the entire novel, even Edmund: she judges more clearly on moral matters than Edmund or Sir Thomas, and has the strongest physical and emotional reactions to stimuli. She seems to be constantly blushing, trembling, or tearing up. This is not only painful to modern readers (who, if they’re not pained by sympathizing with her, may well be pained by what seems to them a lack of proper 21st-century backbone in a main character) but is clearly highly uncomfortable at times to Fanny herself. She might be able to pride herself on her moral discernment (not that Fanny would EVER pride herself on ANYTHING), and she may be in transports of happiness when something good, like William’s arrival or promotion, occur, but she is often “cast down” as well by things that seem to others like trifles. We see this not only in her hypervigilance but also in the depression and the black-and-white thinking which are often the products of trauma. Edmund observes to her, “It is your disposition to be easily dejected and to fancy difficulties greater than they are.” Fanny’s apparent high sensitivity may be just a natural trait (made worse by trauma) or may itself be a product of trauma.
Conclusions
At the end of all this, I’m really not sure what I think about Fanny’s “happy ending”. On one hand, she gets what she’s always wanted in life: companionate marriage with Edmund, valued by Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram, with Mrs. Norris (and Maria) gone forever, and Julia and Tom chastened and better behaved. It seems perfect for her. But a little voice inside of me keeps saying how very unlikely it is. People rarely change as much as Sir Thomas does in the book--and in fact, we are only assured by Austen that Sir Thomas comes to value Fanny more: we don’t actually SEE it. I can’t help but feel that Fanny must still have been subject to ongoing gaslighting about how she was brought up and about respect toward Mrs. Norris and himself. Fanny got what she thought she wanted, but at the same time, she didn’t get free. Especially considering that Austen goes out of her way to say that things COULD have turned out differently and that Fanny and Crawford COULD have been happy together, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Fanny had ended up with the ONLY person in the entire book who truly recognizes how badly she has been treated at Mansfield Park:
[Crawford]: And they will now see their cousin treated as she ought to be, and I wish they may be heartily ashamed of their own abominable neglect and unkindness.
#jane austen#mansfield park#trauma#c-ptsd#literature#tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk
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my grandparents and my uncle have always been my support system in my family. but they live far away and my uncle is often busy with work, so even though we are very close, we don't get to talk very much.
partly because of that and partly because he is a vet who doesn't talk about politics and has lived in the south most of my life, and partly it felt less weird hearing my dead name from them, when I came out to my uncle I told him my new name and everything and I told him it was okay if he didn't change over right away because I knew it was a learning curve and that he supports me either way. by the time I got that far, he was already changing my name in his phone. to my full chosen name. my name has lore. I have my dead name, a nickname that he'd heard in passing and that my friends still use that was my transition name, and my proper name which was totally new to him. and he immediately changed to my proper name and hasn't gotten it wrong once.
he asks questions and talks (sometimes) about what he sees of queerness and queer rights in the world. he uses old words that aren't right anymore. and he conceptualizes things in a way that is unintentionally othering. and he is a little awkward in his attempts at support for something he doesn't feel like he understands. but it's all so genuine and earnest.
a while ago, there was a new hr person at his job who wanted to change the bathrooms at his office. they were all single stall gender neutral and she wanted to gender segregate them so "women could have a safe space" in the office. and my uncle called me to ask about the appropriate way to confront her about this. he laid out what it was she was saying and his concerns.
she was basically staying within the exact perfect social justice language and saying having no bathroom for just women was violating and that it was inappropriate to expect men to be in the bathroom with women's menstrual products.
his concerns were that nobody had ever mentioned this as a problem before, but it had been complimented by employees and clients as convenient and accepting. and changing it would be inconvenient for everyone because it would make it so that everyone had fewer accessible bathrooms because it would go from everyone being able to use all the bathrooms to everyone having exactly half the options. he also had concerns that it would be alienating to trans people he knew to be in the office that she did not know about.
in this conversation, my uncle called an enby a transsexual, regularly fumbled the difference between male/female and man/woman, and used the word transvestite. he also made several other mistakes about the language to talk about the situation. some of it was dated and how it would have been talked about in the 80s and 90s when he was a kid. some of it was just wrong. but all of it was unintentional and he was genuinely trying to be supportive and helpful. I did correct his language on a few things but for the most part I let it slide because he was trying and that was what counted.
on the other hand, that hr person was doing it all perfectly from the perspective of social justice. she was hired specifically to manage and improve social conditions in the office. and she knew exactly how to do what she wanted to do. she went to the CEO (a socially clueless man) and said what she wanted with her fancy words and her carefully constructed argument about safety and the comfort of women and started to get her way. but from what I heard about her position and what she had to say about things, she is just a terf. my uncle had to go to the CEO and carefully point out to him his concerns in a way that wouldn't out anyone for this to get stopped.
I am always just as wary of perfectly constructed activist language because while it is used by allies and activists and people in our community, it is also used by people who want to cause us harm. people who purposely learn our language so they can use it against us. to cause divides in our community so there are fewer of of for them to fight with from the side of the majority. and while the unpolished language is more abrasive on the surface because it is used overtly against us in a more aggressive way, it is just as often the language of the unfamiliar. or even just older people. a lot of it isn't wrong exactly, it's just dated. the language of the activists in the 80s is basically a crash course of what not to say now. and even in the 00s it looked very different than it does now.
don't look at how something is said, look at what it says between the lines. both of the quotes in the original post are coming from people outside the community who don't fully get it. just like both positions in the story about my uncle. when you see someone talking about us from their outside perspective, ask yourself is it saying "I support you even if I don't get you" or "I don't get this but it's no skin off my teeth" or is it saying "I know exactly how you feel about this and I don't care because you make me uncomfortable" or "I think you are dangerous because you are different from me and I will do everything I can to mirror that perceived danger"
the people using our language against us want you to miss the difference because it helps them further their efforts to stamp us out. and the people supporting us with imperfect language will eventually get tired and stop trying if they are always responded to with hostility.
if you have it in you, make the big corrections as gently as you can and wait for questions. the more patient you are, the more questions you'll get and the quicker they will learn. if you don't, that is totally valid. do your best to either be patient or remove yourself, because it's likely they've been snapped at from people on both sides of it as much as you've heard that language be used from the bad side of it
"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."
"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."
One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.
#i meant for this to be a quick anecdote#but unsurprisingly i have once again rambled on an already long post#but this is an important point and i stand by my ramble#long post
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Courtship | [Obi-Wan Kenobi x M!Reader] | Star Wars
Notes: This is inspired by @xmalereader Mandalorian x Dark Fey! Reader story. I absolutely adore his stories and the concept, therefore I wanted to write something similar, only with Obi-Wan.
Although this is based off Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, I just mainly used the character designs, while deciding the culture of the Dark Fey myself. So it could be interpreted as an AU
Fandoms: Star Wars, The Clone Wars, Maleficent AU
Warnings: Heartbreak, Slight Fluff, Slight OOC, Obi-Wan Being Oblivious
Summary: Obi-Wan knows nothing about courtship and causes a huge misunderstanding.
Word Count: 7′455
Taglist: -
If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)
Masterlist
Reader is a Dark Fey!
Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka had been on an undercover rescue mission when the transport ship that should have taken them back to the Core Worlds malfunctioned.
That only worsened the mood because their mission target had died and Obi-Wan had gotten his lightsaber destroyed in the process.
Anakin, the great pilot he was, decided it was for the best to try and land on the nearest planet and get help.
But none of them had expected that the small multicolored ball they had landed on only housed a few inhabitants - most of which had never seen a spaceship, or even a droid.
Thankfully they found one of the more progressive tribes.
They had a person who spoke Basic, and fortunately, C-3PO was with them for the rescue mission, so they had another way to communicate. Although, the language of the natives was only partly in his database.
The alien race who lived on the small planet was a species they had never seen before. They were all winged, with feathers of different colors and lengths, and two large horns that were different for each individual.
They called themselves Dark Fey, however the name didn't seem accurate. At least not for him. Dark wasn't a word Obi-Wan would have associated with them.
Especially not with the man who had taken them in.
Y/N was the son of the tribe chief of the village, and his wings reminded the Jedi of a butterfly in one of the Jedi gardens. They were mainly orange, with a speck of white and black and some small blue dots.
His father's wings were even more colorful, but Obi-Wan preferred the ones of the son because they were less shrill.
And like the color of his wings, Y/N was kinder than his father. He wanted to help them find a way back to Coruscant.
"Father, we need to help them," argued the h/c-haired man, his eyes glistening with annoyance when his stubborn parent crossed his arms and flipped his wings.
The three Jedi were currently in one of the giant tree trunks, in the forest where the Fey resided, in a room as big as the Jedi Archives. It seemed to be the tribe's meeting hall.
Y/N's father Aster sat on a throne made out of small tree branches, his red and orange wings spread wide behind his back.
"Don't act like that, please," groaned Y/N, and Anakin and Obi-Wan only watched with furrowed brows, not understanding what kind of conversation was going on between the two men.
C-3PO informed them about the dispute between the son and the father, and they realized that the tribe chief did not want them here.
Ahsoka happily munched on the fruits that one of the younger Fey had brought, oblivious or more likely ignorant of the tense atmosphere in the hall.
Although the Fey appeared not to welcome them, they still provided them with some hospitality. The Togruta flashed a toothy grin at one of the kids, and they giggled.
"You know exactly why I don't want to help them!"
Y/N's father looked at the three Jedi with a stern expression, and the only person in the room who wanted to support them huffed in anger.
"We'll be careful!"
The tension suddenly rose, and Obi-Wan assumed it was because the younger's wings now rose too, his feathers ruffled.
"May I say something?" he asked carefully, all eyes then turned to him.
The five women next to Aster leaned forward to listen, they were probably the elders of the tribe.
Y/N turned to him, his eyes held a hint of displeasure, and Obi-Wan gulped, now asking himself if he had just made a big mistake.
"Speak, human," ordered the tribe chief, the Fey who spoke Basic translated, and he bowed slightly, then made eye contact with Y/N's father.
"We are only looking for a spaceship that can take us off-planet. We don't want to burden you with our presence and neither wish to harm you, we can also camp outside your land if you wish us to."
The pupils of Aster shrank considerably, the air turned cold, and Ahsoka stopped eating. Anakin gave him a worried glance, and the Jedi realized that he had said or done something wrong.
He lowered his gaze, and Anakin mimicked his posture, his hand gripping his lightsaber inside his sleeve tighter.
Silence reigned over them, and Obi-Wan tried to catch a glimpse of the tribe chief, but then Y/N stepped before him, obstructing his view.
"Father...", he began, but Aster interrupted him, standing up from his throne, wings now spreading even further, showing his hostility.
"You became a burden when you stepped foot on this planet!", he snarled and descended the stairway made out of the giant tree.
His son held his ground and ruffled his feathers. A single feather touched Obi-Wan's cheek, and he flinched from the softness.
He looked upwards, and the man before them looked like an unmovable stone, an unbeatable protector, who had descended from heaven to help them.
"They did not know, Father! And they had no choice either!"
Y/N's voice now sounded as agitated as his father's, and the situation was about to escalate - although the Jedi did not know into what - when a calm voice suddenly spoke:
"Believe in your son, Aster."
Everyone in the hall turned toward the gigantic entrance where a single Dark Fey had landed.
It was a woman with snow-white wings and silky hair that reached her hips. The present Fey bowed, and the Jedi knew that the newcomer was a respected figure within the tribe.
From the way Y/N smiled at her and how the woman opened her arms wide, she probably was related to him, although their features showed no real resemblances, besides maybe the eyebrows. Y/N hugged her without hesitation.
"You're back," stated Aster, and his wings slightly relaxed.
The woman smiled and then turned to Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka.
"I apologize that I could not greet you when you arrived here. I am Neela, and you're names are?" she spoke in Basic, and all three of them were surprised.
Although it probably shouldn't shock them that much, when they first met Y/N, he also spoke the language.
The translator seemed to have taught it to the ones who wanted to learn it.
Anakin introduced himself first, a brilliant smile on his lips. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes in his mind. His former padawan had probably realized that Neela seemed to be the only one who could tame the tribe chief to some extent.
Ahsoka greeted the woman with a respectful bow, and Obi-Wan did the same when he said his name.
He stole a glance towards Y/N who's lips now showed a triumphant grin. The man noticed his stare and winked at him. His expression was something along the lines of 'Don't worry, we got this'.
It seemed like the arrival of the white-haired woman turned the tides in their favor.
"I heard you are stranded. Your arrival here is of great significance for us. My husband knows that, and his caution is not unreasonable. We do not wish to get involved with the galactic conflicts that are waging right now, I hope you understand."
So, she's Aster's wife... But Y/N truly doesn't resemble her.
Obi-Wan was curious about the woman. She knew more about the galaxy than the rest of the Dark Fey, or so it seemed.
He nodded, and Anakin replied:
"We do. None of us wants to involve you in the war, we're just trying to return home. Our ship is badly damaged, therefore we wanted to find someone who can take us with them."
While Neela asked about their transmitters, Aster's face darkened, the further the conversation continued, but he did not interrupt his wife.
Ahsoka's eyes glistened with respect, and Obi-Wan could imagine what she was thinking. Aster may be the tribe chief, but Neela held the reins in their relationship, which influenced the whole tribe and important decisions.
Anakin then informed them of the last SOS-signal they had sent before they breached the atmosphere of the planet.
"Someone is probably already looking for us," added Obi-Wan, and Aster's eyes turned into slits.
"They will come and force us to leave!" he growled, more towards his wife than the Jedi.
Neela turned around to face her husband, and he visibly flinched. The woman spread her white wings, and her wingspan was even wider than her husband's and Y/N's. Her aura was way more intimidating than the tribe chief’s one.
"They won't stay, I will make sure of that."
She spoke in their native language, but C-3PO translated it, although reluctantly, and the underlying threat worried Obi-Wan.
If no one arrives will they try to kill us?
But Aster relaxed, and he stepped towards his wife, their foreheads touched, and the tribe chief sighed.
Neela's wings lowered, and she then turned around again, her hand on her husband's back.
"You are welcome to stay until your friends arrive. We will make sure that they will find you."
Their action before not only was a display of intimacy but also an opportunity for a silent conversation, where they had decided if they would help the Jedi or not.
Relief washed over Obi-Wan, and Anakin's shoulders relaxed.
As if on cue ran the Fey children from the one corner of the hall towards Ahsoka, and they laughed and fluttered their wings excitedly. They spoke a few words in broken Basic and twirled around her.
The Togruta blinked in surprise and then joined their happy laughs and followed them to their friends.
Obi-Wan and his former padawan cautiously stood up. Anakin only watched when the small bird-like kids kidnapped the Togruta, his expression showing a hint of worry.
"She will be fine," said a calm voice, and the Jedi knights’ heads turned towards Y/N, who had walked closer.
"I'm worried she'll do something offensive," confessed Anakin, and the man laughed loudly.
His head tilted back, showing a necklace with a long blue feather and his wings flapped wildly.
"Not to be mean, but you already offended us greatly, another misstep won't matter."
The Fey continued to laugh when he saw their upset expressions.
"Don't fret it. it's already a miracle that your droid knows parts of our language. How would you know about our culture."
Neela joined their talk. Her eyes focused on Anakin.
"May I talk to you?"
He shared a look with Obi-Wan and then shrugged his shoulders.
"Sure," he responded, and they distanced themselves, Obi-Wan now being left alone with the chief's son.
"Why..." he began, unsure whether he should ask or not.
"She can feel he's special."
He lifted an eyebrow.
"Feel?"
Y/N turned his in Neela's direction.
"Mother is like you. She was chosen too."
Obi-Wan could guess what Y/N meant, and it honestly didn't surprise him as much as it probably should have. The moment Neela had stepped into the hall, the force had changed around them.
"What about you?" he asked curiously.
Y/N's expression turned somewhat solemn.
"No, I- I wasn't chosen. It's not possible."
The Fey's hand grabbed his necklace, and his wings quivered.
Obi-Wan realized he had touched a sore spot and decided not to pry further.
"Come with me", said Y/N after a short while, and his smile returned to his lips.
"I'll show you where you guys can stay."
The Jedi followed him out of the hall, after glancing back one last time to see Anakin and Ahsoka standing surrounded by Fey.
-
Y/N lead him across the branches of the giant tree, which seemed to be the main living area of the tribe.
Twice, they used a hoist to travel higher up, the Fey explaining that they had been built for their youngest who couldn't fly yet.
The Jedi could stay in a room, hollowed out of the main branch. The room was sparsely decorated with wooden furniture, and instead of beds, there were three hammocks made out of thick green fabric that felt considerably softer than it looked.
Obi-Wan put his small backpack he had taken from the ship on the table and then turned towards Y/N.
"Thank you for everything."
He smiled at the Fey, and the man's expression twitched.
"It's fine", he responded curtly, and before Obi-Wan could ask if something was wrong, he had already passed through the leaf curtain that gave the room some privacy and jumped off the branch.
Obi-Wan stayed behind with a somewhat worried expression. He remembered what the man had said before. “You already offended us greatly.”
Hopefully they weren’t digging their own graves.
-
They stayed on the small planet, in the giant forest for about a month, and in the beginning, they held their respectable distance from the Dark Fey.
They got invited to meals and attended them, but only Y/N, Neela, and the translator, who turned out to be a teacher and one of the only Fey who had left the planet before, really talked to them.
If the children were excluded.
They had a great time with Ahsoka, and she played with them and even found some friends in her age group, who were studying under Danosh, the translator. Thanks to him, most of the children could speak a few words in Basic, allowing Ahsoka to communicate with them.
Aster had instructed the tribe members to treat them with respect and give them everything they needed, but his hospitality ended there.
He did not include them in any kind of activities the tribe performed besides the meals.
The Dark Fey were a close-knitted species, and the tribe of Y/N did almost everything together. They ate together, hunted together, played together, and even slept together.
They seemed very suspicious of strangers - at least the adults - and they mostly kept to themselves, only talking to the Jedi if necessary.
While Ahsoka got mostly occupied with the children, Anakin's attention got caught by Neela, with whom he even traveled to one of the Fey's sacred places for the Chosen.
Obi-Wan got mostly accompanied by Y/N, but he did not mind that at all.
He enjoyed the other's presence, and his open-hearted character and he talked with the man about all kinds of things.
He told him stories about the Jedi, the beauty of the Jedi gardens on Coruscant, the vast ice tundras of Ilum, and the force.
On the other hand, Y/N taught him about the Fey culture, the significance of one's first flight, the meaning of life according to the elders.
He told Obi-Wan the story of the Batellia flower, that would soon bloom at a day the tribe celebrated.
"The flower blooms for a very short time and then it dies, its roots forming a bond with another plant."
Obi-Wan had asked the Fey why they celebrated that day then.
"Batellia portrays the honest truth of our lives. We live, we die and then we join the Ancestors and the Phoenix Mother."
Y/N also told the Jedi about the worst punishment a Fey could receive - losing one's wings, and the importance of death in their culture.
But one thing he did not talk about because he thought Obi-Wan knew.
For him, it was obvious; Something even the wingless humans should know about, but well...
Maybe the Jedi were just too dumb.
-
"What's that?" asked Anakin, pointing at the shimmering blue stone on Obi-Wan's nightstand while drying his hair.
He looked at the stone he was pointing at.
"It's a present from Y/N. It's a "Soulstone" according to him. It glows in the dark."
He smiled faintly, remembering when Y/N gave it to him.
It's already been three weeks since they had stranded on the small planet, and the Fey had found them. And he and the chief’’s son had formed a close bond.
They had traveled twice to their spaceship, Obi-Wan showing it to him and explaining the mechanisms while Y/N watched from a safe distance, seemingly too scared to approach the metal beast.
Y/N also accompanied him to highest tree they had, trying to send another SOS signal. He caught him, when he almost slipped and Obi-Wan clung to him like dear life, because they were so high up.
The Fey had only laughed, his eyes glimmering with something Obi-Wan couldn’t quite place.
His former padawan looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"And the one next to it? Also a present?"
"All of them are presents, Anakin", said Ahsoka, who had suddenly appeared and now strut to her backpack, a new load of her favorite fruits in her arms.
"What about me? I want a present from Y/N too."
The Togruta eyed him strangely, then muttered something to herself and grinned.
"They are just things he had found on his regular trips to the river," Obi-Wan said, trying to calm Anakin.
Although he also questioned why he seemingly was the only one who regularly received gifts from Y/N.
On the other hand, he felt a tingling sensation in his chest, somewhat proud that the Fey apparently viewed him as special.
"Did Neela not give you a present?"
Anakin shook his head but then replied: "I don't really care, the things I've learned on our trips to their temples are more than enough. Did you know that the Chosen use the power of their emotions to strengthen their force abilities? They aren't unleashing them like the Sith, apparently, but I don't really understand the difference yet. Neela will tell me more tomorrow. She's busy with the preparations of today's feast."
Anakin's voice was full of excitement while he talked, and Obi-Wan got reminded of his early padawan days when the boy had commented on every little thing with amazement.
"What's different this time?" he asked, Ahsoka watching the both of them silently, her fruits now stored in her backpack for tomorrow when she would go on a trip with one of the Fey at her age.
"They will perform dances after eating. It's going to be quite a spectacle, according to Neela. She wanted us to stay and witness it."
Obi-Wan furrowed his brows, sitting up from his lying position in his hammock.
"Is that really such a good idea? Aster still doesn't seem too keen on having us around."
Anakin shook his head and pointed at him.
"No, we must come. Especially you, the chief actually requested it."
The Jedi's eyes widened.
Aster personally demanded that he attended? Why?
Obi-Wan wasn't delighted to see the dances after hearing that, and he went to the daily feast with a queasy gut feeling.
-
The meal went like normal.
The Fey sat in groups in the big hall, various bowls with different dishes on the ground, some of them vegetarian, some with fish, others with meat.
The ages were mixed, and Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and Anakin got accompanied by several small Fey who had played with the Togruta before.
Normally, Y/N and Neela would be in their circle too, but this evening they were nowhere to be seen.
"Probably still preparing", said Ahsoka, and Anakin nodded with a full mouth.
They both anticipated the dances, while he was the only one who somehow couldn't.
He just worried why Aster would want him to be there.
Not having Y/N around made it worse. The man had acted as a calming presence in the last few weeks, and Obi-Wan had begun to like him a lot.
The Fey was thirsty for knowledge, kind, and also understanding. He liked to listen and Obi-Wan always felt some sort of proudness, when he could guess Y/N’s thoughts or feelings correctly from the way his wings and feathers moved.
The Fey seemed to shine like a light, he was very popular with the others of his species, especially the female ones, and it was obvious that he would be the next chief.
Although, he wasn't Neela's son.
His mother, Aster's first wife, had died a long time ago, and his father had remarried. Neela gave birth to two other sons, but they both did not want to follow in their father's footsteps.
Y/N didn't dislike his father for remarrying, he loved Neela like his own mother, and she loved him like he was her own son.
Obi-Wan admired their strong bonds and Y/N's personality.
He was comfortable around the other man, so comfortable that he had confessed the secret feelings he had harbored for Satine Kryze.
Y/N had listened silently and then patted his shoulder to comfort him. He didn't say a word of judgment, silence was the only thing they shared at that moment, but Obi-Wan felt so much better after telling him.
Everything went well, and although they had been here for three weeks and he knew that Cody and the High Council were probably dying from worry, he felt relaxed and content.
When he swayed in his hammock in the evening, the stars visible through the carved out window at the ceiling, his hand holding the “Phoenix’s heart” - another stone Y/N had brought him that was always warm - he even dared to think that he wouldn't mind staying with the tribe forever.
But now...
Now the peacefulness seemed to be in danger.
Obi-Wan barely ate anything, and when Aster finally stood up, the Jedi couldn't stop his whole body from tensing up.
"Let us go to the Ancestors Realm!" the tribe chief shouted, and the present Fey joined in a cry of joy.
"Come on!" squeaked one of the children and grabbed Anakin's arm.
Another clung to Obi-Wan, and the young Fey pulled the three Jedi towards the hall entrance with surprising strength.
The Ancestors Realm was a place at the crown of the giant tree. They had to use nine hoists so get up there and when they arrived, the air was considerably thinner.
It was a flat plateau out of red lichen, the tufts at the border of the round area were glowing, and it did look like from another realm. In the middle of the plateau burned a bright fire, illuminating the faces of the arriving people.
The Fey sat at the edges, Ahsoka went to the new friends she had made, and Obi-Wan and Anakin joined Aster and Neela, the latter had shown up out of nowhere.
The tribe chief greeted them with a smile, which surprised both of them, and he motioned for Obi-Wan to sit next to him. He hesitated for a second, but when the chief looked at him with true friendliness in his eyes he gave in.
The Jedi carefully sat next to Aster, avoiding the man's wings, which he had leisurely spread behind him, and then crossed his legs.
"Are you ready?" asked the leader, and Obi-Wan smiled weakly.
"Yes...?" his answer sounded more like a question, and the man next to him laughed.
"You'll like it, I'm sure."
He could only nod, a big lump in his throat.
He knew that Aster was watching him intently from the side, but he had no clue why.
But before he could ponder over it, one of the elder Fey began to hum, and the rest of the Fey immediately joined.
It was a tribal melody, and it resounded deep in Obi-Wan's chest. Aster started clapping in a rhythm, and the male Fey followed his lead, while Neela clapped another beat, and the women did the same.
The humming was accompanied by the beating of a drum and a sudden cry caused the female Fey to shout.
It was strange for the Jedi, but all three of them were mesmerized by the following scene.
The shouts were a signal for the dancers, and seemingly out of nowhere appeared the few missing Fey. Among them was also Y/N, who Obi-Wan could only recognize because of his wings.
The dancers were a group of males who wore masks that covered their entire faces, their bodies decorated with glowing paint.
They flew a circle above the sitting Fey, and their wings spread, causing loose feathers to descend.
Obi-Wan caught one, and it only took him a glance to know to whom it belonged.
Aster flashed a grin at him and motioned him to clap too.
He put the feather carefully in his robe, worried that he damaged it, and then joined the clapping, feeling excited from the display of the dancers.
They twisted and turned with surprising speed and elegance, and when they landed, the actual dance began, and the sound of various music instruments echoed in the tree crown.
The young men all randomly picked a person in the crowd and started to perform in front of them.
Their wings were the main attraction of the dance. They spread them and flapped, showing off their brilliant colors.
Obi-Wan watched in amazement, not realizing that a certain person was staring at him intently.
A light shove from Aster startled him, and he noticed the person who had gotten closer to him.
Y/N's eyes glistened from behind the mask, and the glowing blue body paint gave him the appearance of an ethereal being.
He twirled and then hid his lower face with his left wing. His e/c eyes pulling Obi-Wan's attention towards Y/N like magic. The Jedi felt like he was in a trance.
The Fey looked beautiful, but at the same time powerful, his sturdy muscles visible thanks to the fire.
A flame began to burn in his heart and it reminded him of something, however, he couldn’t figure out what.
The feathers shook when the music quickened, and the Fey jumped from one foot to the other, his heels never touching the ground.
The Jedi followed the man's every move, too enthralled to notice how Aster and Neela were staring at him with pleased smiles.
Anakin looked at them with a wondering expression, not knowing what they were thinking.
Obi-Wan's mind got filled with a thousand thoughts. His heartbeat had quickened, and the sudden wish of taking a holographic photo of Y/N dancing surged through his veins.
He didn't expect the man to be able to move like this, like an elegant warrior.
It was a traditional dance, the other men of the group performed the same routine, but Y/N's was somehow special.
It felt sensual and, at the same time, like a plead.
The man's wings stretched towards Obi-Wan. Had he leaned a little forward, his nose could have touched a feather.
The music turned to a crescendo, and he knew the dance would be over soon, already a little disappointed.
With a sudden move back, Y/N spread his arms, that had also reached out for the Jedi, to the side and his wings darted back and froze in a position similar to the Jedi order's symbol.
The ending was improvised by him, the wings of the other dancers had stopped in a different pose. Obi-Wan’s heart jumped and he let out a shaky breath.
The Fey for whom the other dancers had danced began to stand up and clap and howl wildly, their ardor audible in their voices, and Anakin and Obi-Wan joined in.
The dancers walked up to the audience members they had chosen and they pressed their foreheads together. Obi-Wan watched their display of affection with a big smile. He loved the kindness the Fey held for each other.
The tribe leader couple also stood up, he following their lead, when Aster suddenly pulled him closer with an arm around his neck, and the tribe chief asked him:
"Did you like it?"
And Obi-Wan could only exclaim with an excited tone:
"Yes! It was wonderful!"
Y/N's father showed a very pleased expression and then let go of him.
The Jedi wondered for a moment if that was the only thing he wanted to know, but his attention shifted when a glowing figure appeared in his peripheral vision.
"Obi-Wan" uttered Y/N, while taking his mask off, his breathing was slightly heavy.
"Y/N, you were amazing! The dance displayed so many emotions, I loved it!"
The Fey stopped short in his track, and then his lips formed a breathtaking smile, which reminded him of the sunrise in the morning.
"Thank you!"
Obi-Wan's head got suddenly grabbed by the other man, and their foreheads touched in a swift motion.
Y/N's skin felt hot from the dancing, and the Fey's breathing shook his shoulders, but Obi-Wan was solely focusing on the man's closed eyes.
Their position felt almost too intimate, his heartbeat pounded loudly in his ears, but he did not move back, ignoring the sudden flutter in his chest, telling himself this was courtesy and showing his respect for Y/N.
He expected the other to pull his head back, but the Fey did not move, until his father patted his shoulder and laughingly boomed:
"That's enough, son. You'll have plenty of time for that later."
Y/N finally pulled back, although not stepping far away, and he turned to his father, shooting him a glare. Obi-Wan stood somewhat dazed, blinking wildly, and wondering what Aster meant with later.
"I'm proud of you, Y/N!" said Neela, and she hugged the man.
The Jedi smiled at the display of their feelings, and he distanced himself to give them some space and to calm his beating heart.
Get it together. Your heart is acting as if you’re in love.
He turned to Anakin, who talked to Ahsoka, both their expressions still showing amazement.
"That was soo cool!" squealed the Togruta, and his former padawan agreed.
"I now feel the desire to have wings too," added Obi-Wan to the conversation, and they turned around to greet him.
Ahsoka's eyebrows shot up, and she grinned somewhat disbelievingly.
"So, you did it," she said, a matter of factly.
"I did what?" he asked, not understanding what she meant.
She gestured towards his face, and he tilted his head in confusion.
"You got paint on your forehead." Anakin said while watching his padawan with questioning eyes, but the Togruta didn't say what she was hinting at.
And he didn't find out until the end of the evening.
After he had talked to the two other Jedi, Y/N had shown up again and told him that he had to attend a family meeting.
He was apologetic, his expression showing clear annoyance and Obi-Wan felt bad for the Fey, although it wasn't such a big deal for him.
They could talk about his performance tomorrow.
So they said goodnight to each other, Y/N once again pressing his forehead to Obi-Wan's, who let it go without a word.
Aster and Neela also left.
They only waved at them, the tribe chief winking at Obi-Wan, leaving the Jedi once again puzzled about why the man had changed his behavior so suddenly.
Although the Fey poured out some delicious alcohol, the three Jedi decided to go back to their room. They were surprisingly tired from seeing the performance.
When Obi-Wan had already laid down in his hammock, Ahsoka addressed him:
"Congratulations, Master."
He lifted his head to peek over the hammock's edge.
"Congrats for what?"
"You and Y/N."
He didn't understand a word.
"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice sounding slightly worried.
"Don't you know?" she said, now sitting up inside her hammock.
He only blinked. Ahsoka's expression turned baffled.
"The performance today got danced by courting Fey."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, then his eyes widened.
"Are you saying... Y-Y/N..?", he finally squeezed through his lips, realisation slowly dawning on him.
She mirrored his shocked expression.
"You didn't know?! But you accepted!"
He was panicking now.
"Accepted what and when?!"
Anakin walked into the room, unaware of the sudden revelation.
"What's going o-"
"The forehead touch!"
Obi-Wan sank back into his hammock, his heartbeat thundering in his ear. He had gotten a confession and he didn’t even realize.
"Oh, what have I done?"
-
The next morning, Obi-Wan felt no motivation to stand up.
He wasn't ready to clear up the misunderstanding that had happened yesterday.
He hadn't known that the dance was about courtship, nor that the forehead was something only romantically involved Fey would do.
He just thought it was something intimate that friends, partners, and family did. The other dancers had done it too, but now he knew the real reason.
That’s why not all of them touched foreheads, they got rejected!
But apparently, he was wrong.
And now he had to take the consequences.
"Come on, old man. Get up", said Anakin with a laugh, and he made his former master's hammock sway.
"Why can't I just die right now of old age?" he sighed, feeling dreadful about what was about to come.
Anakin snorted, and he finally sat up.
He had to talk to Y/N before the whole thing escalated.
But oooh, it already had.
-
"How did you not realize?!" shouted Y/N.
The Fey was shaking Obi-Wan by the shoulder.
"How should’ve I known?!" he shot back, now also agitated, after the other had told him his parents practically considered them being already married.
"I brought you all these presents!"
"Friends do that from where I come from!"
"You kept my feather!"
"I thought it would be a great memento!"
"I let you touch my wings!!"
"How should I know that's considered to be something intimate?!"
Their voices got louder and louder, and their argument caught the attention of some unwanted spectators.
A group of young Fey had begun to follow their conversation behind some branches, but Obi-Wan didn’t acknowledge them, too angry and panicked at the moment.
Y/N's wings had begun to flip in obvious anger, while Obi-Wan furrowed his brows in annoyance.
"I literally danced for you at the courtship ceremony!"
Obi-Wan gnashed his teeth in frustration.
"How was I supposed to know it was about that?! Anakin only told me it was a dance performance!!"
"But you-you said I danced amazing and you loved it!”
The Jedi didn’t respond to that, only showing a guilty expression.
The Fey bit his lips when he finally realized how grave their misunderstanding was.
"I didn't know...", muttered Obi-Wan, feeling helpless because he knew he had hurt the other.
"Forget it," growled Y/N, then he turned in a swift motion and darted from the tree branch. His wings flapped with such a force that a few feathers fell.
The Jedi only watched how they slowly descended, and they seemed to represent his heart.
It sunk, and a sudden pain in his chest caused him to clench his jaw.
How should I have known?
He told himself that he had had no idea, but deep in his chest whispered a voice that he did. Y/N’s feelings were obvious.
Maybe he just didn’t want to acknowledge them, knowing that nothing could come out of their relationship.
Even if you do like me, Y/N, we can’t be together.
-
A few days passed, and the atmosphere had turned awkward.
Aster's sudden goodwill had as quickly disappeared as it had come.
After the chief had learned of the misunderstanding, he had almost attacked Obi-Wan. Neela held him back successfully though.
Anakin felt guilty for being partly at fault, and Ahsoka also apologized for not telling him what she had known about the courtship rules.
They spent their days waiting for any kind of sign of the Republic, and they became restless.
Obi-Wan felt genuinely guilty for misleading Y/N, and he grieved for their friendship, which seemed like it had already ended.
The Fey hadn't shown himself to any of the Jedi, and Obi-Wan couldn't help but worry because neither Neela nor Aster had seen their son after he and the Jedi had argued.
Then, one day, a Fey appeared in the great hall, informing Aster of the gigantic triangle that had appeared in the sky and the small flying objects that had landed somewhere close to the forest's border.
Anakin shouted triumphantly, and Obi-Wan felt relief wash over him.
But at the same time, he felt a pang in his chest.
He didn't want to leave, not before he cleared the bad blood between him and Y/N.
But Cody and Captain Rex found a scout of the tribe pretty soon, and they finally reunited only a week after the courtship ceremony.
"Good to see you alive and well, general," said Cody, and Obi-Wan smiled weakly at him.
"Good to see you too, commander."
The clones got accompanied by Plo Koon, and Ahsoka was delighted to see the Jedi master again.
While Anakin and his padawan were happy about their rescue, Obi-Wan couldn't stop himself from wishing they had come later. Now he wouldn’t get another chance to talk with Y/N.
He collected his belongings and hesitated when it came to Y/N's presents. The various crystals and shells on his nightstand.
He contemplated whether to take them with him or not, but the thought of leaving them behind hurt him and he decided to bring them home.
Although they had parted with sour feelings, he still appreciated the memories he had made with Y/N. And his heart honestly didn’t want to forget anything, not even the forehead, which apparently symbolized a kiss.
They Fey did not publicly kiss, one of the things they didn’t display to others, Ahsoka had told him.
When he heard about that, he couldn’t stop his brain from forming all kinds of thoughts and his ears had turned pink.
He walked up to me and kissed me, figuratively!
The misunderstanding was really a disaster.
He now also knew why the other Fey had treated him with more respect even though Aster seemed to hate him again.
It was because he was the object of the future tribe leader’s affections - although he had rejected him.
He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts and left the room, Y/N’s presents stored in his backpack.
He bid farewell to Danosh and the other Fey who had treated him nicely and then joined Anakin and Ahsoka who waited with Cody, Captain Rex and some other clones next to Aster and Neela.
The tribe leader couple accompanied them to the ground and their canon gun ships.
Obi-Wan watched the ships from the border of the gigantic forest and his chest tightened.
Y/N...
He bit his lip, his heart now clenching from the idea of leaving and never coming back.
They were half way there, when Aster and Neela stopped walking.
“We’re not going any further”, explained the white-haired woman and Anakin sighed. He said goodbye first. The chief only nodded at him, but Neela gave him a long hug and whispered something into his ear, while caressing his hair.
Obi-Wan could see that the woman somewhat appeared to be like a mother-figure for Anakin. He felt the pain of saying goodbye in Anakin’s force presence.
Ahsoka also gave Neela a hug and she bowed at Aster who surprisingly patted her shoulder and said:
“Stay sharp, little one.”
The Togruta beamed and then it was Obi-Wan’s turn. He looked at the chief and behind the animosity in his eyes, he could see genuine regret.
He didn’t know what to say and just awkwardly stood there, when Aster coughed and grumbled:
“You would’ve been a splendid son-in-law.”
The Jedi blinked and Anakin couldn’t stop a snort, laughing silently at the blush that swept across his former master’s cheeks.
“Uh- thank you.”
“Obi-Wan,” said Neela and she opened her arms wide. He willingly walked into her embrace and she also caressed his hair, while hiding his embarrassment with her wings.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. If he couldn’t tell it Y/N personally, he would tell his mother.
“It’s alright. Y/N is a little hasty sometimes, especially when it comes to his feelings. I’m not trying to say he rushed into the idea of liking you...”
Obi-Wan’s cheeks heated up again, not knowing how to react when a woman, who was the mother of the man who liked him, openly talked about her son’s and his relationship.
“He’s genuine, but stubborn. He was born here and never set foot on another planet. You swept him off his feet and he got too excited, not registering that our manners and traditions are unknown to you.”
He nodded into her shoulders and she let him go to look into his face. Her blue eyes glimmered with kindness.
“I’m glad you were his first love.”
He blinked and her sentence hit him right in the gut. Oh, wow, he really hurt the man, huh.
She traced the line his knitted eyebrows made and smiled.
“It’s not your fault, Obi-Wan.”
He wanted to reply something but he had a lump in his throat and could only nod.
She let go of him and he stepped back, his expression showing how sad he was about their departure.
“Goodbye.”
The Jedi and clones turned and began to walk away. Every step physically hurt Obi-Wan and he breathed out shakily, face looking down to not see Anakin’s and Ahsoka’s possibly judging expressions.
Suddenly, a shadow sped across the plain and before he could look up, a person landed right before his feet, causing him to make a step back.
He tilted his head, startled, his eyes meeting e/c ones. Time seemed to stop.
"Obi-Wan," breathed Y/N and the Jedi's heart started to pound faster.
"You came," he hesitantly said, his tone revealed his relief.
"Yeah... I have to tell you something."
Obi-Wan turned his head to Anakin and the others, they feigned ignorance and acted as if they weren't listening closely to their conversation, although they were.
"O-Okay, but I want to tell you something t-"
"I fancy you."
Hearing that sentence directed at him caught Obi-Wan off guard.
Not that he never had been confronted by similar words, but it had never been in such a blunt fashion. And also not from a person he secretly liked too. Satine had been a different case.
A blush crept up his neck, cheeks and ears and he swallowed hard.
He had expected Y/N to tell him an apology or a goodbye, but not a love confession.
"I'm sorry. I projected my culture onto you and didn't consider your feelings."
Obi-Wan was flustered and he checked his surroundings again, the clones and the two Jedi now blatantly listening without even trying to hide their interest.
"I-I..." he began, not knowing what to say.
He knew he had to reject the Fey but his fluttering heart absolutely didn't want him to.
"I'm a Jedi, Y/N," he eventually said, his tone sounding pained, and Obi-Wan expected the other man's face to sadden, after all, he did tell him what that meant when it came to attachments, but the Fey's smile stayed on his lips.
"I know. I just wanted to tell you properly."
The smile was the same radiating one he had flashed him after the courtship dance.
Obi-Wan clenched his jaw, contemplated for a second and then, without hesitation, he took a step forward and grabbed Y/N's face to bring their heads together.
Their foreheads touched and the man's eyes widened.
Obi-Wan locked his gaze with his and the Fey sighed, now pressing his head closer and putting his hand on both side’s of his neck..
"You're making this very hard," he muttered accusingly, while tracing Obi-Wan’s carotid artery.
The Jedi laughed weakly, the pain in his chest swelling.
"I know, I'm sorry."
He closed his eyes and breathed in, the smell of damp soil, fruits and leather filled his nose and Obi-Wan tried to engrave the scent in his mind.
"At one point we'll have to stop," whispered Y/N and he grumbled.
"I'm just soaking you in", he replied, eyes still closed.
I don’t want to let go.
He heard the Fey breath out slowly.
Then the man moved away.
Obi-Wan opened his eyes in protest, then his hand got grabbed, and Y/N kissed him.
The Jedi's eyes widened and he remembered that Anakin, Ahsoka and the clones were watching, but his reason got thrown out of the window by his heart and he returned the kiss.
It was a short and bittersweet one. Just like their relationship.
Like the Batellia flower, their love finished before it could even properly bloom.
But Obi-Wan did not look back at these four weeks with regret.
After he had returned to Coruscant and continued fighting in the war, he would often smile at random times, his hands buried in his robes, where he caressed a soft feather.
And he could be damn sure that on a small planet in the Outer Rims, a Fey would trace the faint glow of a blue kyber crystal, he always had with him around his neck.
And who knows, maybe they’ll meet again.
#star wars#the clone wars#maleficent#dark fey#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#obi wan kenobi#obi wan x reader#obi wan x male reader#x male reader#x reader#jedi#sith#padawan#fey reader#fanfic#fanficsforheartandsoul#obi wan x satine#obi wan x y/n#lightsaber#i did not sleep for this#just kill me
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Also I can accept Mobius’ mind being wiped and him being subjected to heavy propaganda as an excuse for this actions as a TVA agent, but even then only partly. But what does the mind wiping have to do with the way he treats Loki? What excuse is there for that?
Like yea Im sure he was conditioned to think that no only was pruning billions of people ok, but that it was actually a good thing, but I highly doubt that in the TVA propaganda pamphlet theres a section talking about how manipulation and torture are actually just friendly activities and having a prisoner is the same thing as having a friend. None of the other agents seem to think like that, so obviously its a him thing.
I would say being ok with pruning of whole timelines and treating Loki like a lesser being is based on the same mindset which is caused by the propaganda.
Tigger warning: systematic mass murder, methods of fascistic organizations, racism.
Humans are psychologically programmed to identify with other beings (it helps to recognize dangers other beings didn’t manage to avoid). The greater the similarity the more we identify with the other being. That’s also why most people won’t hesitate to kill fish or insects, which share few similarities with us, but might struggle with killing mammals, such as mice or dogs. So, killing or harming other humans will evoke resistance in most humans that aren’t psychopaths.
So, how do you mend your workers into weapons of mass murder? One possibility is to declare your enemies to be a threat, to use your workers’ instinct for self-defense. The other is to declare the enemies to be sub-humans, animals, or generally lesser beings. That’s how the nazis rationalized their murders of disabled people, and everyone they considered part of a lesser race. The TVA divides people into three categories: 1. TVA-workers are the only ones being considered ‘people’. In the above example, they would be the fellow humans. Killing, torturing, or harming them is considered a crime. 2. humans/aliens that follow their predetermined paths. They are of lesser worth but not entirely worthless, perhaps comparable with dogs or farm animals. The TVA workers try not to upset them, but abusing a doomed Roxxcart-refugee is merely a sign of bad taste and not a crime. A crime would be to cause a nexus event, but not because people would be harmed. 3. Variants that are worthless in the best case and pests in the worst case. Killing them is a service for the community, and thereby the opposite of a crime. You can do anything to them because they are mistakes of nature who aren’t supposed to exist anyway.
Now, staying in the analogy, our Loki would be a pest, such as a wild rat. Not the rat which is killing your colleagues but perhaps a tool that can be trained to lead you to the more dangerous rat. I suppose Mobius would hesitate to lie and threaten his coworkers, whom he considers fellow humans. But lying to the pest? Why not? He might call Loki a ‘good boy’ ‘friend’ when he acts according to his training, and scold him when he steps out of line, but it will never have the same weight it would have if they were on the same level.
Now, theoretically, they suddenly get placed on the same level, when Mobius finally has to accept he is a variant, too. But that realization would have come with a major meltdown on his part because it would mean all his victims were people like him. But I didn’t see him loose any sleep over that. He was still primarily concerned with C20’s (aka a fellow ‘humans’) fate and how to stop the TVA (greater good, also possibly to prevent it killing more of his coworkers). So, I guess he took it more like an Trump supporter with higher education when you tell them Europeans once were immigrants, too. He might not argue the fact, but in his head, the former definitions still prevail.
As I the ‘it seems like a Mobius’ thing, I think we just can’t tell, because Mobius is the only analyst we ever see at work, and interrogations seem to be quite rare, judging by the farce of a hearing.
But those are all headcanons, anyway. I’m pretty sure the creators’ intent was to present us Mobius a morally flawless, upstanding guy who never was aware of the atrocities the TVA made him commit. 🙃
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shepard/garrus?
oh boy, sorry for the late response! I always end up posting these things and then going to read/take a nap/play a game or something. anyway writing this up took two hours, i hope it is even slightly interesting to read. cut because this is looooooong
What made you ship it?
I think I was interested in this ship before I even played ME. I was just like “I know Shepard is a character and an alien named Garrus is a character, and people draw porn of them together.” because I think it’s reasonable to say it’s one of, if not the most, popular ship in the fandom, or at least in ME’s tumblr fandom? and the way people talked about it, I knew their tropes were #banter, #battle couple, #partnerships, and... and as we’ve learned from royai, I am a bit weak to those tropes (assuming I like both of the characters). the way people talked about them also from a “best friends” angle—which is sort of forced in-game in a way that seems strange to me now—was also a plus in its favor at the time. (if they get together, I do see their friendship/companionship, in whatever form, in some ways integral to their romance—unless you’re playing full far-right renegade who’s like a xenophobe and hate-fucking Garrus, I guess?—but Bioware also kind of shoehorned Garrus into that best-friend role and that’s a topic for another day.)
What are your favorite things about the ship?
(my friend will hit me if I say “partnerships” again) I’m gonna talk about the way I play my Shepard now, because so much is dependent on the unique Shepard. for Lydia’s journey over the series, I see a large part of her journey as basically a study of her (often self-inflicted) loneliness. and she never entirely breaks her habits of self-isolation, but the events of the series force her to be vulnerable in a way she would prefer not to be in front of a crew, or, y’know, ever. Garrus becomes an integral part of that story to help her break her out of these bad habits (all of the crew does, particularly also Ashley for my Shep), but to my eyes, the story of “Shepard and Garrus’s relationship” is also one of mutual respect, burden-sharing, and sanity and morality checks.
I don’t think of their “mentor” relationship in ME1 very often mostly because I don’t think it was done particularly well, but for all its faults, I do like how naturally the jump from “subordinate” in ME1 to “ally” in ME2 felt; once you meet Garrus on Omega you feel more on the same footing as two friends greeting each other because you’ve both recently been through trauma and the sight of a friendly face in a station full of hostiles is so unexpectedly welcome that it lets them both hope things will be okay for a minute. starting from that moment, Garrus becomes one of the few people who can see “under” her mask, I guess: partly because he’s one of the few combatants from the SR-1 who knows Shepard well and sees who she is both on the field and onboard the SR-2, with the ability to compare both to the times of “before you died”; partly because he has trauma response training and recognizes it in others even if he doesn’t in himself; partly because his loyal personality makes him sensitive to wonder how she’s dealing with being resurrected; and also partly because they’ve both gone through similar things. namely, getting your squad killed and blaming yourself for it, and it possibly being your fault (BioWare is inconsistent on what Shepard’s role was on Akuze, but in ME1 she has the chance to reply that she was responsible for getting them out safely, and failed).
necessity forces Shepard to adapt to things like being effectively forced to work for terrorists; being isolated from her support system; being resurrected and feeling like a stranger in her own body; later, getting decommissioned for making an incredibly difficult call to save the galaxy; watching your homeworld burn; being forced into a political role negotiating high stakes you don’t know how to play; being told you’re the spearhead of a galactic war; doing all of this without a full crew complement; the list goes on. those are all, on their own, incredibly isolating, traumatic experiences, and my Shepard’s not emotionally sane at the best of times. (emotionally stable, perhaps, only in the most literal of terms, at least on the surface. she’s like a rock when shit hits the fan. emotionally sane, no, for that reason and more.)
the tables have turned, and Garrus ends up becoming a large part of helping her regain agency in most if not all of those things: in ME2 he was a former crew member she trusted, and he was eager to work for her and be distracted from his failures on Omega. over in the battery, he is himself recovering from a major injury (like Shepard) and going through the aftermath of a bloodbath he feels responsible for (like Shepard), working on a crew that holds him at arm’s length, that he also... arguably... didn’t have much choice in joining (like Shepard—I’m assuming he wasn’t held hostage and joined voluntarily after waking up, but lbr this is unconfirmed). their reasons are different and varied, but they don’t realize until much later that they have found each other at the most opportune time, providing a sense of stability for each other, and also, frankly, sanity and morality checks.
in ME3, he steps into this role more fully because he’s become more disciplined, is doing work firmly in his wheelhouse, and paired up against Shepard struggling with their positions somewhat reversed from ME1: him more confident and her now completely out of her element, floundering with her place on a galactic scale. without Garrus—and Chakwas, and Joker, and Tali, and later the loyalty of the entire SR-2—the story of ME would be a tragedy, and it would end shortly in ME2; it’d be the story of how my Shepard slowly went insane being forced to fight boogeymen under a terrorist banner. Garrus isn’t, like, the keeper of her sanity, but their ability to check each other, and see themselves in the eyes of each other, provides stability and occasionally a bit of a wake-up call to both of them. when they’re both vulnerable, they both feel most seen, and most understood, by an alien that listens.
one angle of this ship that highly interests me at the moment, along with the above, is that while it’s not illegal for them to be together, it’s still... a really bad fucking idea lmao. (I could make the argument that it’s a bad idea for Shepard to be in any relationship with their crew but I think there are a few ships—Garrus, Tali, any Alliance crew at all—that realistically would be huge political clusterfucks.) so overcoming personal insecurity and fear of the unknown to acknowledge interest in each other, and the desire to become an item, getting roadblocked by a reality wake-up call with the fact that 1) she’s his boss, 2) Garrus comes from a society where station matters, like, sort of a lot and it even determines your job and how much legal power you have, 3) the potential political blowback (which would be ENORMOUS because lbr the hierarchy may not care about what turians do in off-hours but they WOULD care about the superior/subordinate thing, the human thing, the fact that they’re doing this while a war is going on. basically one of their best agents is on the Normandy to negotiate their interests and they’re basically at the whims of their relationship the whole time)... it’s a lot! all of that sort of makes it tragic, but I’m curious to see how they’d overcome it.
anyway, all of that is where I’m coming from when I think or write about this ship, but there’s a lot more I’m not mentioning here. there are a lot of juxtapositions that in my head that I’ve either added or extrapolated from canon that also interest me about this pairing. Garrus is a former cop, as is his father; Lydia is a poor kid who used to be in a gang out of necessity. Garrus is a turian with often traditionalist thinking; Shepard is a human who has much less sociopolitical power than him, even if she is his superior on the Normandy. both of them are roughly as old as the First Contact War, when their people were at each other’s throats not thirty years ago. Garrus idolizes Spectrehood while Lydia hates it, feeling it was forced on her. they can’t eat the same food. and yet despite all of that, and the fact that they need translators to communicate, they manage to understand each other when a lot of the world around them doesn’t.
god this is not even the full list of it. anyway I could go on but I’ll stop there lol.
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
oh jesus, so much. I’m a grouchy and picky shipper, be warned.
pining can always make my ships more interesting, and imo it’s a consistent part of any ship of Shepard’s, considering it’s wildly inappropriate and unprofessional for her to be fucking any subordinate, so I think more consideration could be given to shakarian in the “we shouldn’t be having a thing and oh also you’re an alien and I’m kind of scared of both your government and your body” angle! I hope to explore that a bit with a fic I’m writing (if I ever finish it, god).
I hate the flavor of fandom!shakarian where Shepard romanced Kaidan in ME1 then felt “betrayed” when he’s confused and hurt on Horizon, so she gets with Garrus as like... revenge? idk. and then Garrus usually develops this bias against Kaidan as a sort of author mouthpiece (which is inconsistent with his characterization cause Garrus is nothing but pleased to have Kaidan back on the SR-2 in ME3!) and takes up the anti-Kaidan crusade cause K ~questioned the commander~ (since when does Garrus fall over himself defending a superior from criticism?) like, idk. I think Garrus can be sensitive to the fact that that reuniting must’ve been painful for Shepard, but also be aware that it was also really painful for Kaidan because all of Kaidan’s complicated feelings about Shepard’s resurrection were, realistically, things Garrus should’ve felt too! this trope is very popular but just feels like manufactured drama for drama’s sake, idk, I’m also not big on love triangles so. I would much rather people just rescue Ashley on Virmire and avoid the whole thing rather than have previously-romanced Kaidan around in ME3 for the sole purpose of forcing him to watch Shepard/Garrus being happy together tbh.
I think full goody-goody paragon Shepard is too preachy to make a good partner for Garrus and full shoot-anyone-in-my-way renegade Shepard encourages and emboldens his worst tendencies (and Castis Vakarian is right to disapprove of them). most people end up playing some combination of both, or if they do settle in one camp or the other, usually there is some sense of realism where Shepard doesn’t play nice/naive or play mean all the time, so it’s rare I see either of those kinds of extreme Shepards depicted, but in general if there is a Shepard that is so far in one direction it seems illogical to me that they ever stay together.
I think wanting a mShep romance for Garrus is a pretty welcome idea in fandom, but adding onto that, I think Garrus should’ve been romanceable in ME3 for players who changed their minds on other romances or want to play slow-burn romances! we had it for Kaidan—and should’ve had it for Ash—so (pounds fist on desk) Garrus too imo!
I hate the canon get-together because Shepard walking into the battery and asking “do you want to fuck” feels very tailored to the players who want to romance Garrus, not to who Commander Shepard is, imo. it lacked all of the subtlety and depth of some other romances—until the scene of Garrus coming to her cabin with a wine bottle, at least, cause I do like that scene, but anyway, I dislike the actual get-together.
just in general, I’m a stick in the mud, so my favorite iteration of this ship is where Shepard is resolutely professional, and the challenge of it becomes him getting her to open up, not the other way around. like, I think on some level every iteration of Shepard is a bit of a lunatic/eccentric, because you have to be to do the things they do, but I like to see their flirting with less of her calling him “big guy” (not sure where that came from, is that in canon? I must’ve missed it, but personally I don’t like it) and more of Garrus making wisecracks in the canteen while he’s talking to Joker, but he’s looking at her out of the corner of his eyes and he really said his joke with the aim of making her laugh, and as she’s reading her datapad she hears him, and even when she wants to chuckle she stops himself and just smirks cause she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of a laugh, but he sees her lips twitch and feels his heart flutter. that. I want more of that.
oh lastly, I hate “Shepard takes Vakarian clan markings” in any iteration. there is no canon relation to turians being poc—in fact I’d argue they have sociopolitical privilege real-world bipoc do not—but the concept of social face markings, face tattoos, etc., is rooted in non-white cultures and with the fact that 1) turians had a literal civil war over the territories those markings represent, 2) we don’t even know if marriage is how markings are shared or if non-turians are ever invited to wear them in the first place, 3) most of the art of this trend, lbr, is of mostly white Shepards in wedding dresses and blue face paint... all that combined just makes me frown and scroll faster every time I see it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bipoc Shepard with Vakarian face markings in fic/art, and that to me is very telling (not because they should have them, but because bipoc fans who make bipoc Shepards usually recognize when a racially-coded trope is uhhhhh not so great to appropriate for someone not of that group).
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Goof Week: Goof Troop: Forever Goof Review (Everything’s Coming Up Goofy, Good Neighbor Goof, Gotta Be Gettin Goofy) (Commission for WeirdKev27)
Yahhahhooooeeeey all you happy people! WELCOME TO GOOF WEEK! Now normally when a character who got their start in theatrical shorts has a birthday, I do a marathon of them. I have since last year with Donald and it’s one of my favorite things: it allows me to explore Disney’s rich history of them I was largely unaware of till Disney+, and allows me to revisit the shorts I grew up with in the case of The Looney Tunes or Tom and Jerry while discovering new favorites. SO naturally with Goofy’s birthday in two days I intended to do the same for him, especially since I’d covered Donald and Mickey the same way.
But fate had other ideas. Not thinking about this tradition, Kev, my patreon, friend and the guy who commissions a LOT of reviews from me ($5 an episode if your curious and I WILL make room on the schedule so your commission gets done as soon as possible), suggested reviewing the Goof Troop pilot movie Forever Goofy, later split into the episode Everything’s Coming Up Goofy and Good Neighbor. I loved the idea since I genuinely loved Goof Troop, and decided to do both that week.
It’s then I got a great idea.. why limit myself to JUST doing two things? I hit my 15 dollar patreon stretch goal, so a review of the Goofy Movie was on the Horizon anyway, and for it’s anniversary year Kev has been commissioning House of Mouse Episodes, so it wouldn’t be THAT much of an ask (and it wasn’t) to simply randomly select from a pool of Goofy-Centric episodes instead of all the episodes.
Thus GOOF WEEK was born, and Kev once again proved vital to all this by suggesting the special Sports Goof from the 80′s. I’d like to give him special thanks as outside of the Shorts Special, which as a patreon he still got to pick one and if you’d like to pick one for Donald’s special, sign on up even one dollar patreons get the honor. , this week is either entirely paid for by him or in the case of A Goofy Movie, is partly thanks to him. I wouldn’t be able to do NEARLY as many reviews nor make money off this without you bud, so thank you.
So naturally given the idea to do this two parter gave me the idea for this week and that Goofy Movie makes a logical finale for said week, it only made sense to start the week with Goof Troop. Bop-dop-da-da-do-bop, YEAH.
Goof Troop is the first Disney Afternoon show I ever watched and the only one I watched when I was younger, as Disney Channel used to play it ocasinally when I was younger and Toon Disney would do the same and I even got to Marthoon it when Disney XD did a weekend marathon. Given it starred my faviorite Disney Character, Donald hadn’t worked his way up to tying with him quite yet, I loved what I could grab of it. And as an adult.. it still holds up. It has problems i’ll get into, but it is a real good time so I was exastic to get an excuse to watch some of it and much like with Darkwing wish I had sooner.
Before I can h-h-h-hit it though, I have to talk about the series history. I ALMOST didn’t find anything: much like the other Disney Afternoon shows there really wasn’t much on the Disney wiki nor wikipedia, google turned up nothing... it wasn’t till I went to the Tv Tropes Trivia Page for the series, where i’d remembered reading about some early versions of the show, that I hit gold: A two part behind the scenes blog post by series co-creator Michael Peraza. You can find part one HERE and part two HERE. It’s a short but fascinating read.
Speaking of fascenating Peraza himself is someone i’d never heard of till reading this article but damn if he isn’t a legend. Seriously the guy’s career is as an unsung hero, starting work under the Legendary Nine Old Men, and working on some of disney’s greatest films: The Great Mouse Detective, Aladdin, The LIttle Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast, along with live action cult classics Tron and Return to Oz via concept art. And concept art is where he’d hit his stride: he did conceptual work for all the big Disney Afternoon shows apart from Gargoyles, being one of the key guys in the early days of Disney Television animation. He didn’t stop at just designing things either as he worked as Art Director for Ducktales, The Proud Family and of course given how vital he was to it’s creation, Goof Troop, and to this days gives lectures with his wife to aspiring animators. He even did some guest work for the 2017 Ducktales Episode “Treasure of the Found Lamp!”. So yeah dude’s awesome
So how did he come to be a key part of this show’s creation? Well he’d just finished up some concept work on some other Disney Afternoon shows, and being a company man was glad to report to the Goof Troop..ers to help as the show was having trouble getting off the ground. The reason for this was the creative exec, who Peraza didn’t name out of kindness as the guy wasn’t a BAD person.. just a clueless one, this being his first job in film and tv. As such rather than work hard to develop around goofy or focus on his strengths the kid threw out one concept after another: The series got it’s name from a pitch that had Goofy as a scoutmaster, something I was glad to finally know. To quote Peraza
“ Although while I was doodling versions of the show that were destined to never see the light of the TV screen, the pitch date remained etched in stone and kept creeping closer. Various versions would find their way to the surface only to sink again into the wasteland known as the roundfile (trashcan). One moment Goofy was the Captain of the Fire Department, the next day a detective out of the Maltese Falcon mold, or a swash buckling hero fighting The Flying Dutchman.
The supporting cast he came up with really wasn't very supportive when you consider they sometimes included alien dragon babies with wings along with a large gorilla. Somebody at Walt Disney Television Animation must have really had a thing for giant gorillas around this time as they were plugged into almost every concept we assembled.”
It was clear that while Goofy COULD fit into just about anything, this exec was just throwing everything at the wall, nothing was sticking, and rather than try to refine his supporting cast, they kept having to throw them out and start over. And dont’ get me wrong, cartoons go through a lot of development and changes as they go.. but it’s usually born from a concept and usually by this point, they at least have what the show will be ABOUT in stone. While i’ve had the same creative changes and what not when coming up with projects that ultimately never saw the light of day, and currentlly some I hope to but might not, I’m not being paid by a studio to do this nor had a hard deadline. I was just spitballing trying to get something anything off the ground before reviewing gave me a steady outlet for my creativity and thus ballanced me to take my time with stuff. Peraza WAS turning out amazing art, like this concept art for the fireman pitch that honeslty makes me want to see it as a series. Who DOSEN’T want to see 9-11 with Goofy as the main character? Throw in Donald and grown up versions of Max, PJ and PIstol (And even not THAT much for the former two, as they did go off to college and all), don’t forget Roxanne this time out and you have a worthy goofy movie sequel.
So yeah this wasn’t working and the latest pitch was not great: Putting Goofy in ToonTown as a cabbie driving the Cab from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. As Peraza TRIED to point out to the exec, putting Goofy in a naturally goofy setting didn’t really play to the characters strength, his whole shtick being a goofus in a normal world. Enough of an every man to root for but also a slapstick joly weirdo.
The executive’s INCREDIBLY douchey response, especially since Peraza was a Disney Vetran at this point and had spent quite a lot of time on Ducktales, so he knew what he was talking about was “Do it anyway and leave the “Visionary” part to me”
As you can tell by MR. OOC there, this might be one of the most punchable sentences i’ve ever read.
So Peraza wasn’t in a great place and was naturally terrified when he got a call from Gary Krisel, president of Disney TVA, asking about the show and to see him about it.
Turns out though Krisel was a nice guy who already had a great working relatinship with Peraza, and genuinely wanted to know what was going on there and wanted his honest opinion. It’s why i’m not AGAINST executives in animation as sometimes they can come in when somethings clearly not working or allow a smooth transition of power if a propelmatic creator has to be booted off their own show so the show and i’ts crew don’t suffer as a result. It’s just more often than not they cause headaches or cancel shows for entirley stupid or self motivated reasons. But I will give credit where it’s do and point out times where there NOT stupid or homophobic or what have you and this is indeed one of those times.
Peraza was indeed straight with him: pointing out all the concepts they’d gone through, and like with the other guy honestly gave his opinon the ToonTown Pitch wasn’t working.. and he not only agreed but asked Peraza himself, actually respecting his experince instead of yelling at him that he has a vision that wouldn’t last the end of the day probably.
Peraza was HOPING this was where this was going and gladly gave him a far less high concept pitch and one truer to the character, quoted in full bellow:
“ My spiel went as follows, "Goofy is a recognized star of Disney animation, so why re-invent the wheel? His son is an average kid dealing with many of the usual issues they face: peer pressure, young love, grades, school bullies, and so on. On top of all that, he has the zaniest, wackiest GOOFIEST dad to live down. No matter how insane the situations get though, they will always love each other. They're a family." Gary asked how I would pitch it and I replied, "It's ONE day in the life of Goofy and son. From getting up in the morning to fixing breakfast, we see their difference side by side as his son tries to distance himself. No matter what though he knows deep inside that his father will always be there for him, whether he likes it or not."
If your wondering if Peraza noticed that that original pitch line is basically the peremise and emotioinal core of The Goofy Movie down pat.. your extremley correct and he notes that the film was based on said pitch even if he had no involvment with it that I could tell. The series would still use this but the whole embarasment aspect was toned down, and honestly fit a teenager better than an 11 year old..
So the exec loved it and Peraza shaped the core of the series: the idea of having Pete as his nemisis, pete having a nuclear family including a gorgeous wife, and the show being more slice of life and what not. He made some great sketches, got roaring approval and then pitched it to rousing success and the rest is history. Goof Troop was a moderate success and The Goofy Movie after it is a classic beloved by all. We have this wonderful man to thank for all that and I also thank him , on the offchance he ever sees this, for bringing Goofy into modern times in a way that did the man-dog justice. It’s thank to you we got this fun series, two great movies, and a goofy the way he is today: the best of everything about him rolled into one. Thanks man, free review.. not htat you NEED It since you’ve worked on things i’ve covered and what not, but I feel like I should offer. Outside of Peraza, I found one last bit of making of stuff before I get to the premiere proper. These two early concept shots:
The first has Max who both looks older and has red hair like he did in the shorts. Honestly I see a lot of his Goofy Movie self in thiis design, the only diffrence obviously being the red hair which was wisely changed to make the boy look more like goofy, something kept for the movie.
The more intresting one is this shot of the Pete’s. Starting with Pete he’s more athletic and has a perfectly tacky outfit. While changing him to be a bit more slovenly honestly fit this version of the character better, I do wish they’d kept hte outfit as the tacky gold and green jacket, the gold chain, the open ollar.. it all fits this version of pete so well, as well as his illusion of being a big shot when he is in fact a medium one. Peg is both slightly younger looking and far more doting and is so different I swear this picture looks like Pete remarried after the divorce and got some lipo. Pistol has about the same design but with a vastly different, more Isabella-ish outfit. Finally we have PJ who looks the same, but has a diffrent outfit and a far more sour demeanor, probably meant to be a bully. My best guess is sthis stuff comes from the pitch, and was likely made to simply get the basic premise across before fine tuning the characters for series
So with all of that out of the way i’m calling eveyrone to join in the fun under the cut and report to the Goof Troop.
Everything’s Coming Up Goofy:
Our first episode opens in a small but cozy trailer, where Goofy’s cooking up lunch as only goofy could: by making osme meatballs then serving them to his son over a game of table tennis, with Max doing the same. It’s really freaking adorable, and a dynamic i’m not used to since i’m more familiar with Teen Max. Seeing Max genuinely get into his dad’s hyjinks and enjoy them.. it just warms the heart and adds weight to The Goofy Movie by knowing there was a time the two really were thick is thieves before the stygian hole that is high school drained all that out of him.
So the two are like buddies and pals until the Mailman arrives, not even phased at this point. Turns out it’s a Diploma, and with this Goofy can get a job he’s been up for in Spoonerville and plans to move immediately. Max is devisated he’ll loose his friends and runs away to use a magical mystery box to keep them together only to end up in a land full of frogs with an old man who sounds like his dad minus the drawl and two other tinier frogs and ... I may have the wrong show. In fairness you try dislodging a finale where Keith David runs a 13 year old through with laser sword and then talk to me.
Goofy is sympathetic though: While he seems a tad oblivous to Max’s worries, it’s very clear he’s jumping on this job and this move so far to give his son a better life. Sure he runs through all the cartoon moving away talking points that don’t work in real life or most other cartoons such as there being a nice lake and that max can make new friends, and Max accepts it weirdly fast because this episode is only 22 minutes and they don’t have time for that subplot... but it’s clear the idea of a better paying job, a secure home not in an alleyway, and some stablility for his son is the real reason Goofy’s doing this, and he probably wants to simply give the boy the childhood he had growing up.
Meanwhile in Spoonerville, we meet Pete. To my shock this is where Jim Cummings took over the roll he was born for and has played since and with good reasons as Cummings is just amazing with Pete no matter the incarnation and excels here his penchant for playing jerks, hams and gravely voiced guys all coalesicing. Pete is planning on building what modern toxicly masculine weirdos such as himself would call a Man Cave on his lawn, because Pete is a very SPECIAL kind of douchebag. He also plans to stretch it into the neighboring property, tear down the house there and set it up.
This is news to his wife Peg, played by fellow voice acting Legend whose stillg ot it, April Winchell in her star making role. Peg is Pete’s strong willed wife who dosen’t put up with her husbands crap.. you know that trope that infected sitcoms for kids and adults of the doofy husband whose either a manchild , a skeevy self serving quipy asshole or some horrible combination of the two. The kind that has still been so prevealant the wife from one of said sitcoms helped produce a show about the wife finally doing the logical thing and plotting to kill the bastard. No really.. that’s an actual thing that’s happening. It’s even got a Little Bit of Alexis as Anne Murphy plays the poor, poor wife.
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And why yes the series is called Kevin Can Fuck Himself. And why yes said former sitcom wife was the same one on a sitcom called Kevin Can Wait who was fired because they wanted to retool the show with the wife from Kevin James other sitcom. That also is very really a thing that happened. Payback is a bitch aint it? Fun too.
But yeah from minute one Pete is a terrible husband: Peg is a realtor and thus is trying to sell the house because it’s her fucking job instead of letting her husband throw their family deep in debt to very likely illegally demolish a house so he has a giant yard to play in. I mean even if this is all played for jokes i’ts just not funny enough to not make him an utter bastard. The fact his response to her VERY valid criticism and subtextual worry he doesn’t’t take her career seriously is to fake a panic attack, from a very REAL tendency he turns out to have giant breakdowns under stress, to try and guilt her into letting him have his giant public man cave just backs this up.. as does the fact she simply glares at the camera as he’s clearly DONE this before.
Since I have to put up with this version of him for the rest of this episode, the next, AND a portion of the movie, i’m proudly introducing the Pete Sucks Counter. This will carry over to any other appearances of the guy from here on out. So that’s one for his insane plan, one for disrespecting his wife’s career and one for faking a panic attack to try and win an argument Pete Sucks Counter: 3
So because this episode ran short Peg caves and compromises: He can have the property if it isn’t sold by 9. So Pete does what ANY husband would do: uses his spy camera and booby traps he’s set up in the other house to try and scare away prospective buyers.
Yeah.. while the show TRIES to have Pete not as his old-timey villian self.. they traded in for him being fucking MODOK. I mean he is a grotesque monstrosity who has a nuclear family and spends all his time in a chair thing and can barely function as a Husband or Father. Though at least I can belivie MODOK LOVES his family which not so much with Pete.
To prove this Pete tries using a fake spider to scare some buyers then CALLS THEM TELLING THEM PEG IS A CON ARITST. I.e. something that if they mention to her bosses could get her FIRED. He respects his wife’s autonomy, what she wants and what she’s asked him for, which is a fair shot to sell the place before he tries to wreck the place, as well as likely what his neighbors want. I mean I can accept breaks from reality for comedy, snakebird is my boy.
So I can accept pete has this stuff.. I just can’t find it funny when these shenanignas very transparently show that while he surface level loves his wife he dosen’t respect her or actually listen to her except when she gets angry. He IS the villian so he’s still a slight step among monst sitcom dads but i’ts not great. I can find it funny that his den also functions as a super villian lair though. That shit will never not be great. Also Pete Sucks Counter: 6 For the record: one for the spider itself, one for having traps set up in a property hat both isn’t his and his wife is trying to sell and another for threatening her job and her self esteem as she is baffled at what she possibly did wrong.
So Goofy and Max get on the road, leaving moving the rest of their stuff to an old coot whose a friend of theres. So it’s goodbye Duckburg, Hello Spoonerville! And yes I headcanon this as Duckburg. Goof Troop is one of two shows that very clearly happened in SOME form, the other being Tailspin, the only difference being the time period (Goof Troop taking place in the 90′s and Tailspin in the 30′s or 40′s) and any adjustments for clashes with the 2017 verse. So going off that, we also know Donald and the boys KNOW goofy and didn’t remotely question his presence, as did the rest of the cast.
So figuring out the timeline, Goofy likely met Donald in college, even if he never finished college as per an Extremley Goofy Movie, which may not happen the same exact way given Goofy still has his old job and may not loose it in this timeline, though i’d like to think he still meets Sylvia. But point is he drops out, possibly to marry Max’s mom, they end up moving to Duckburg for her work, she sadly dies, and Goofy is left raising Max alone. Donald and Goofy likely bonded as single parents struggling in low paying 9-5 jobs. Goofy left here, likely said goodbye to Donald and the 5 or so year old boys offscreen , and left. As for how anyone else knows him that’s simple: he probably visits whenever he can. He’s a good friend, genuinely loves Donald like a brother in all continuities, and of course would show up with a progressively more then less grumpy Max every time. As for what I think the rest of the cast would think of him: Scrooge would hate him for his disaster area ways, but at least respect him as a hard worker, he just wouldn’t personally hire him which is.. it’s fair. Beakley would be aggravated by him. Webby would of course like him because she’s essentially him but competent and gay, and Launchpad and him .. god that’d be a joy to see. And drive up Scrooge’s insurance. Della would also like him obviously. I”m really disappointed we didn’t get a season 4 if for nothing else the fact we probably would’ve got another Goofy episode. It also feels weird he’s not in the finale in any way shape or form you know? Why have such a big guest spot for him and then just not bring him or Max back? GIVE ME MORE MAX DISNEY DAMN YOUUUUU So they move right along with Goofy excited to get back to where he once belonged, and to call Pete with the good news on his 90′s cell phone. Pete is utterly TERRIFIED finding out Goofy Comin and tries to send him off course to prevent it. Naturally despite nearly running into a truck, Goofy makes it to Spoonerville by evening anyway and we get a delightful bit that shows off BilL Farmer’s comedy skills as he rapidly lists off all the things in town while driving Max through town. It’s so damn smooth. This also is notable since before this farmer had just played the character in some DTV music videos, which stands for Disney not Denton but god I now want Shock Treatment with the Disney Crew. I mean who wouldn’t want Donald as Brad, Daisy as Janet, and Gladstone as Farley Flavors I ask you. Not sure who every one else would be i’m sorting that out. And if you don’t know what Shock Treatment is, here have this trailer with a nightmarish opening.
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Dammit now I want to watch Shock Treatment again... so I am. Found it in full on YouTube, and I feel no shame in sharing that as it’s not on VOD, nor any streaming service, the DVD, which I own, is out of print, and the Blu Ray is a UK exclusive. This film both needs to be seen more and needs another proper US release damn it!
So naturally Goofy somehow finds Pete’s house.. I dunno maybe Peg’s been sending him letters. Can’t blame her for having a wondering eye long as she dosen’t act on it. She’s married to a walking lump of ego, selfishness and cholesterol and likely only held on as long as she did for the kids. Which for the record Peg as a child of divorce whose parents got divorced rather than keep up a sham marriage or anything.. it’s not worth it. I was MUCH happier that way in the long term.
Anyways Peg and Goofy happily reunited while they awkardly try to get the kids to meet, with Goofy and PJ not warming up to each other at first, likely because Max just lost all his friends, and PJ clearly had none going into the series from context we’ll get later in the pilot. We also get a hilarious bit where Peg alternates between warmly greeting the goof’s and hilaroiusly shouting at Pistol to not play with worms.. in what honestly sounds like a protype for Miss Finster’s voice.
Meanwhile the kids try to hide a small crack in Pete’s boat.. which he notices as he’s just about to steamroll the house despite NOT having asked Peg if she sold it yet and just assuming, possibly opening himself and her to a lawsuit
Pete Sucks Counter: 7
Discovering his boat is trashed, he has a comical panic attack, which I can forgive since this was 1992 and they weren’t as well known as a serious problem. Seriously while pete is a bastard man.. the animation on him is GORGEOUS as it is HILARIOUS, while Jim Cummings brings the hell out of it. He’s kept the roll for three decades as of next year for a reason. Goofy ends up accidently destroying his boat in the process of trying to help him as you’d expect.
So Pete reluctantly lets the goofs sup with them.... and by reluctantly I mean he don’t wanna but Peg’s forcing him, which is pretty much the other half of their relationship in a nutshell: When pete isn’t lying and betraying her, Peg is forcing him to do stuff. As you can probably guess by how harsh i’ve been this aspect has aged INCREDIBLY poorly for me. This is your standard sitcom setup: asshole or dumbass or both dad, put upon wife who has to keep him in line.. but it’s just not how a GOOD marriage works and got so damn draining over time. Again and again we got things saying marriage is awful, comitting sucks unless your young, again and again. It’s why i’m REALLY happy we’ve been getting far better sitcom dad’s and marraiges lately. Bob’s Burgers is naturally the example, with the wife being the less sane one but both having their quriks and neither being so entirely dysfunctional you ever question the marriage. The Louds are another good example: Lynn Sr. And Rita NEVER right with each other that i’ve seen, have a perfectly happy relationship despite 11 kids, and wholly support each other, with Rita happily giving her husband the go ahead to quit his soul draining desk job so he could pursue his deream as a chef, and later letting him take a massive fincial gamble and open up a restraunt, purely because she belivied in him. Finally we have the Williams from Craig of the Creek who are easily one of the best married couples i’ve seen in western animation and one of them’s played by Terry Crews so that shoudln’t be a shock. I could prabobly find more but my points made: this trope REALLY ages the show poorly, more than any of hte 90′s specific tech or swinging theme song I just realized I forgot to talk about. Eh i’ll save it for the next episode.
I have NEVER liked this trope anyway: only simpsons has really made it work for me and Family Guy did until they just stretched it too far, and with Simpsons at least they freqeuently have episodes pointing out how unehalthy it is. It dosen’t help this trope somehow STILL isn’t dead, as evidenced by the fact Rick and Morty has it in spades and for SOME damn reason got them back together.. I mean they don’t fight anymore but it dose’nt fix the problem. So yeah while I’m not holding against the show TERRRIBLY as this trope wasn’t as widespread at the time, it still dosen’t make it GOOD even at it’s core.
Things get worse for Pete though as while Goofy praises him (And the Pete Kids rightfly wonder if Goofy is from space given the logic of ANYONE being that fond of pete. ) Pete finds out GOOFY bought the house he was going to demolish and will be staying with them till they move in. I have only one response to his misery....
Max also futzes with the tv which you THINK would lead to Peg finding out her husband is the antagonist of a Blumhouse movie but instead just does nothing.
So then we have Dinner where we find out SUPRISINGLY, Pete actually has a somewhat valid reason for resenting Goofy: Goofy cost him the big game in high school as Goofy and Peg were on the cheerleading squad together and Goofy accidently kicked pete in the face at a crucial moment, which Pete got the blame for. Granted I did say SOMEWHAT: Goofy is genuinely apologetic and says Pete shouldn’t of been blamed and Pete’s apparently been hiding the truth from his kids this whole time. I do call bullshit on that as while admittedly i don’t get into local football or any sportsball, Pete works at a dealership. At least one asshole would bring it up to either rile him up or out of genuine rage at something that happened at the very least a decade and a half ago. Pete hasn’t let go of this footbullshit DESPITE owning a successful dealership, having two wonderful children, an even more wonderful wife, and a friggin nice boat. But really.. it speaks to Pete’s character in any version: His ultimate undoing is his greed, his tendency to keep going and never settle. It’s something he oddly shares with Donald but Pete lacks Donald’s’s heart or redeeming moments. Pete just wants and wants and wants no matter who gets hurt because he’s inehently selfish and will simply TAKE It if he can’t get it. But it’s why he’s miserable, and ultimately ends up divorced: He can’t be satisfised so he often looses what he has.
So with Pete on the rampage Peg sends the boys upstairs. It’s here we get PJ’s first Woobie Moment: He has a room FULL of cool toys, comics and what not but his dad is such a greedy asshole he refuses to let the kid actually use them. He even knows this isn’t normal but is just resigned to it. Rob Paulsen is phenomenal as PJ, being funny and energetic, snarky and off to the side or depressed and fearful all with grace and ease and all making this all feel like the same sweet kid.
I mention this because Paulsen’s action is so good it highlights an issue with PJ: the writers lean way too hard into how much a hardass Pete is, to the point the series, likely intentionally, HEAVILY implies he physically abuses pete and the stuff on screen isn’t over the top enough, at least for tehse episodes, to get away with how he emotionally abuses him either. He talks down to him, doesn’t let him play toys and as seen by various episode synopsis and the next episode, uses mind games to keep him in line. THIS is why I can’t stand this version of Pete. He’s an abusive monster to this poor boy and I won’t stands for it, nor it being played off as a joke, especially since they try to ping pong between using it for comedy and using it seriously which just.. doesn’t work.
So Max earns his future best pals’ friendship by trying to help him.. and succeeding by pointing out that while he said not to use the Tank anywhere on the ground.. he didn’t mention the celling or walls and has the tank going up the walls. And clearly by the fact PJ is seen sleeping with it later, despite Petes’ss anger at this, Peg presumably ripped him a new one once she found out about the toys thing.
So that night Pete can’t sleep with Goofy tromping around the house and tries to whack him with a Golf Club. I’d give him another sucks count..
But given my brother lives in the basement and I sometimes accidently wake him by tromping overhead without meaning too, I DO get getting a bit fed up with someone clomping around and waking you up, and it is a slapstick cartoon so trying to physically assault someone is less of a crime here and more a setup for a punchline.
So get an UTTERLY hilarious scene as teh combination fo tripping on golf balls and Goofy singing his family lullabye, camptown races with lyrics
So Pete proceeds to have another freak out this time RUNNING ALL THE WAY TO DUCKBURG, THROWING THE OLD MAN OUT OF THE CAR AND THEN BRINGING IN THE GOOF’S BEDS AND BOXES BEFORE TOSSING THEM IN THE HOUSE. It is truly an amazing combination of Jim’s utter talent as he babbles hialriously and the animators as they just make it sing. It’s a great climax to part one. So with that the goofs are home and Pete semeingly gets to go to sleep.. until they start working on unpacking.
Final Thoughts On Good Neighbor Goof:
This is an excellent start to the series. The jokes are really well paced, the characters well introduced and the humor top notch> I had my complaints obviously.. but i’ts more systemic issues with the series, and stuff that honestly it dosen’t hamper my viewing experience for the most part. The PJ stuff does, but it’s not as big a deal this episode as he barely interacts with his Dad, but otherwise it’s stuff that just hasn’t aged well and they can’t be faulted for not seeing a deluge of terrible sitcoms a comin. The cast is top notch: I didn’t get to them in the proper review so Dana HIll deserves praise as Max, giving just the right amount of 90′s TV Kid mixed with real honest emotion and i’ts a tragedy she’s gone. She would’ve been right up there with the rest of this amazing cast in history. Though at least she got a worthy succesor.. but that’s not for now. For now we’re taking an interlude to look at the wonderfully 90′s music video that was aired along with this special:
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Gotta Be Gettin Goofy:
This was my raw reaction to this video. Now is it bad? No the song has great flow it somehow manages to scratch Bill Farmer’s goofy vocals with the beat, the rapper makes the cheesy lyrics work, and the chorus of “gotta be getting goofy” backs a great bit. It’s not a bad SONG.. but the video is a hilariously insane mess. We have two of the poor dancers forced to wear just.. HORRIFYING looking Goofy costumes that look like the Dog based sequel to cats that thankfully only exists in my nightmares
I pityt hose poor dancers. Meanwhile the rest of the dancers are wearing Goofy Baseball uniforms and letterman jackets for some reason. is it beause Goofy likes sportsball. I thoguth they just had them lying around but now I see the g’s on the uniform. They CHOOSE to do this. Max also does a shredding guitar solo, not the max up there the animated max. Combine that with LOTS OF random clips from the show and you get this thing.. and i’ts worth a watch> it’s just hilarously what the shit.. not the most hilariously what the shit thing i’ve seen.. not even this week... that would be this thing from the Eurovision Song contest...
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Your welcome. So moving on because this is already badly behind.
Good Neighbor Goof:
So our second episode opens with the Goof’s trying to move in and pete being upset their being loud. Now being upset your neighbors are being loud is one thing: Mine set off fireworks all week around fourth of July. Granted Pete would probably be the one doing such nonsense but still, I get it.. but it’s fair to have a lot of noise when your moving in and in Goofy’s case also trying to patch up a massive hole in the place.
So he does what any reasonable man would do and activates the earthquake machine he hid in the basement.
I wasn’t kidding about the MODOK comparisons. Granted the thing uses a belt to somehow do this.. but it’s designed to SIMULATE AN EARTHQUAKE AN DDOES SO WELL. The only reason Goofy’s not dead is that pete uses a low setting that instead ends up unpacking everything. IT’s a neat gag but again... PETE HAS AN EARTHQUAKE MACHINE.
Which Goofy accidently destroys his boat with. Meanwhile the boys try to talk over tin can phones only for Pete to notice and try to stop it because he’s a dick and doesn’t want his son to be happy because he hates Goofy. So Pete’s idea of a punishment is for PJ to wear the family shoes to go crush cans while wearing a helmet and given Pete mutters to himself about this keeping PJ away from Max i’ts likely something that he made up to torture his son soooo..
Pete Sucks Counter: 8 Max being a good pal agrees to help his friend crush the cans down to recycle for money and comes up with a zany scheme to do so
Meanwhile we get a few scenes of Pete trying to eff with Goofy’s day: Peg is making food for Goofy like a good neighbor/someone planning for their eventual divorce, so Pete makes him some too with tons of hot sauce. By the laws of classic cartoons, naturally Goofy loves it and wonders if Pete has hot sauce, while Pete trying it explodes his head Scanner’s style.
He then tries giving Goofy a chainsaw loaded with some kind of explosive or something... so yes he’s esclated to MURDER over.. Goofy annoying him a bunch as he’s apparently given up on the whole taking over that lot thing.
Pete Sucks Counter: 9 But it is hilariously petty and naturally backfires again by cartoon law as Pete ends up starting it for Goofy who can’t get it going.
Meanwhile PJ and Max inact the plan which is to drop a bolder with a rope on the cans, but end up having to ride the cans down when PJ lets it go too early and it ends up sweeping both boys on top of the box. They have fun though, with PJ actually getting to enjoy life for once and loving having a new friend.
So as his lot in life Pete has to ruin it by yelling at PJ for getting diryt, then for hanging out with max as he can SMELL the goof on him.. which means he’s either exaggerating or he knows what goofy smells like.
So he forbids PJ to see him insluting max.. while Max is hanging out the window and ends up crying. Oh and Peg never gets involved in any of this across both parts, likely because she dosen’t know.. which makes it even MORE horrifying as it gives off the implication Pete gets away with his abuse of his son because he hides it, like a real world abuser. But even then some things like trying to break up his and Max’s friendship or the toys thing you’d THINK she’d notice.
So we get more untetionally telling stuff as PJ says he’ll treasure this day and the only time he was happy.
Pete Sucks Count: 14 2 for the last scene, 3 for ALLL this one implies. But Max won’t give up the ghost no he won’t give it up. They haven’t the strength to hold on for long but if they both hold on together they can make each other strong. So he has a plan: have Goofy throw a Luau and invite the petes.
Peg naturally forces him to attend and Pete is a dick about it at first, but eventually enjoys himself when they do a conga line. The pets, Waffles and Chainsaw get into some antics. I do love Waffles because I love a kitty. Chainsaw is okay even though I love me a good doggo. Especially this one.
You are a Good Boy, Good Boy. But eventually while playing a party game about passing coconuts, Pete considers the coconut and considers the trees but dosen’t consider Goofy kicking him in the face AGAIN
So Pete is naturally a dick about this despite it being you know, an accident. But he takes it a step further by insulting Max Pete Sucks Count: 15 So Goofy gets mad. But here’s where a rather sizeable flaw shows up in the episode as Goofy.. acts exactly like Pete does about the insuing feud. He forbids Max to see PJ makes up rules and is generally petty and vindictive. And look Goofy could be in the shorts. He’s endlessly adaptable.. but here nothing about his character has shown he’d sink to this and it feels forced to bring abotu the climax.
Thankfully said finale salvages thing: That night Max pulls PJ into his room via the cans, and comes up with a plan.. weirdly asking PJ to hit him with a muffin to save their friendship... but it’s not random it turns out. His plan.. is brilliant. While I really don’t like these types of feud between neighbors make our kids suffer by making them not be able to be friends because we’re being petty children plots, this one has a REALLY clever solution to that: Max and PJ FAKE an oversclated fued similar to their parents, starting with insutls and throwing mulch and escalting to taking down each others fences and then throwing food at each other, before injuring their dads with planks and stuff, nothing serious just slapstick stuff, all to get both to settle down and try and get the boys to stop fighting.. it works like a charm, it’s full of great bits like Peg offering the boys pie only for Max to use it as amuination and i’ts just a great way to end one of these episodes. Not that I WANT more of these episodes but if your going to do this stock plot you might as well be creative with it.
So we end on the Petes and Goofs having a BBQ, all friends again, with Pete having his marina and Goofy nearly burning Pete’s house down and us getting a photo to end the episode.
Final Thoughts:
This one was a step down. Pete’s abuse is REALLY highlighted here and the plot is very paint by numbers and forces Goofy to be out of character for the last act for it to work at all. He just strikes me as too genuine and noble to hold onto a grudge this easily. Peg is also reduced from her usual feisty self to being oddly useless, not stepping in at ANY point to stop any of this depsite it being grossly otu of character. There’s a few great gags and a great climax, but the whole product is just okay
Later Today: Goof Week and Goofy’s birthday continue as I complete the trilogy of Shortstaculars with one about my boy! Featuring Goofy’s first apperance, his first short and the first apperance of what would eventually become Max!
If you liked this review, follow me for more and consider joining my Patreon which you can find RIGHT HERE. Even a buck a month helps me keep doing these and more gets me to my stretch goals, the next one up being the two remaining ducktales mini series, a darkwing duck episode a month and a reivew of the danny phantom film the ultimate enemy. And even a buck a month gets you access to exclusvie reviews, my patreon exclusive discord and to pick a short any time I do one of my shortstaculars. My next one is for Donald’s birthday next montha nd there’s only 6 days left to get on that pay cycle so if that sounds good to you get on in NOW while you still can and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.
#goofy goof#goofy#goof troop#max goof#P.J. Pete#PJ Pete#Pete Pete#Peg Pete#Pistol Pete#Sponerville#Gotta Be Getting Goofy#disney channel#the disney afternoon#disney afternoon#disney xd#disney plus
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Morgana Pendragon Character Analysis (pt1)
Introduction:
Morgana Pendragon is one of the most key characters in Merlin. Her role is integral to the character arc of all of the other leads. Her story is about how someone can let their pain consume them whole. As an abuse victim and a member of a marginalised community, she is set up for being isolated and fearful. This alienation is turned both inward and outward making her deeply dangerous to herself and others. She takes this alienation to push almost everyone out of her life and force others to suffer the same way she did. Her righteous anger at her treatment by her father and society goes to waste when none is put to constructive ends.
She allows emptiness, fear and anger to consume her. She replaced her core beliefs with those of “others are out to hurt me” and “the only way to live is through the acquisition of power”. Her ability for both affective and cognitive empathy becomes suppressed as any joy she can drive comes from exerting control over others. She is compelled into implementing her obsessions around revenge and survival. Depression, obsessive thoughts, paranoia, fear and anger fill all corners of her mind leaving her without access to flexible thought and internal peace.
Analysis:
At the start, she is living as a member of court and Uther’s ward. She continually butts heads with Uther. This is due to her being headstrong and fearless. This bravery and stubborn disposition causes more rifts as she is seen to be hysterical and as an object, leaving her subject to gaslighting and other forms of abuse. However, this rarely stops her from being involved when important. Morgana often works with Arthur and Merlin early on. The most key of these events being when they save Mordred. (1x08)
However, her stubbornness isn’t all-consuming, while resisting being forced to do things she dislikes she is smart enough to know when to lie and when to bend the knee. Partly because as a child and young-adult she holds a mix of respect, love and fear towards Uther. She shows skills in court life, this is deeply important to understand as it becomes a useful skill when she works against the kingdom. But in the beginning, it shows someone who lives in the duality of wanting to assert herself and someone who absorbed the social rules she was raised with.
Morgana shows great care for those around her wanting them to be safe and happy. Often stepping up to speak on behalf of them, and generally treating even Gwen and Merlin, people considered her inferiors socially, with respect. Standing up for Gwen's dad, helping protect Elador, helping feed peasants and trying to protect Gwen when they are attacked shows her kindness and loyalty. (1x03, 1x08, 1x10-12)
She doesn’t have a consuming desire for power, no particular plan to marry into or otherwise acquire power. Her later turn to power is reactive and less of an innate drive. It also a drive to be the one who determines her future.
When Morgana's powers start to grow we see the first shift in her character. The development of anxiety and depression colour the way she acts. It adds layers to her abuse and trauma. A great deal of gaslighting is used to convince her she is mistaken and to prevent the acknowledgement of her magic. Which we know Gaius has been hiding since she was a child visa via her prophetic nightmares.
This alienation is from the entire culture she grew up in. When she visits the druids in The Nightmare Begins (2x03) Morgana feels free and desires to stay, she just wants to be herself.
This is similar to the experience marginalised people experience in real life. She knows that if discovered her magic father figure/father would likely kill her. Morgana also believes her other loved ones would at the least disown her.
In reality, there is some nuance. Merlin acts as both an agent of the system while originally trying to help her and Gaius and Gwen would not wish harm on her. But Morgana is understandably afraid and full of anxiety to reach out for help. This anxiety, confusion, fear and alienation become the way she perceives the world. Life is Morgana, then everyone else. This pain drives a wedge between her and everyone she used to care for.
Outside of the gaslighting and threat of violence, she experiences from those close to her during The Witchfinder (2x07) we see her deal with mental assault from an outside force with no support from her family as they don’t understand. This makes her dysregulation, anxiety, depression and isolation worsen.
The next two key events in her first character transformation can be seen at the end of season two. First, Morgana meets Morgause (2x08) and automatically feels a connection to her. Second, Morgana is pushed to verbally disown Uther due to his treatment of Avalar and by extension the rest of the Druids and others born with magic. This is the final relational rupture between them:
Morgana: They are rising up against you! From this day forward, I do not know you. From this day forward, I disown you
King Uther: You will go to your chambers!
Morgana: And you, Uther, you will go to hell.
(2x11)
We then see her move into helping Morgause try and destroy Camelot. At this point, it is driven by the anger she has for Uther and his treatment of others. It has yet to have the drive of becoming queen. Her connection to Morgause also plays a large role as she finally has a person to be close to without the artifice of court life over it. Morgause gives her a choice and with that an illusion of power. At this point, there is a more powerful member of their team. Morgana ends this attempt at Camelot almost being murdered by someone she considered a friend. (2x12)
We then have an interesting moment in her character arch in her year away from Camelot. This time away changes her from someone who while willing to hurt Uther didn’t seem driven for the destruction of Camelot, to one who will hurt everyone. There is also a reprieve from the fear-driven to more controlled anger by the assistance of Morgause.
We are never told what happened in the year. All we know is he stayed with her sister and likely had her hatred of Uther entrenched even further. Her worst tendencies towards vengeance over justice and ego over compassion are reinforced. This shifts her schema farther into negative ones and worsens her ability to think in shades of grey.
When she does return her previous ability to play the game of court life is stronger and utilised to great effect convincing everyone for a while that she is essentially the same person, except for Merlin and by extension Gaius. Gwen is the next to figure it out due to Morgana’s affect control dropping and her real emotion bleeding through over time. (3x08)
As she returns to Camelot she quickly moves to attempt another attack. This attempt is stopped again by Merlin, but in this attempt, we see new cruelty in her willingness to torture Uther and that her magic has grown. This is also the last time I believe her alienation and marginalization is her driving force. After this, I think she fully turns her internalized fear of her magic onto everyone else. Her exchange with Merlin during the battle feels genuine and not at all like manipulation or even just a justification as it becomes later, but a real motivation. She has not yet grown to shut off her empathy for everyone, only Uther and Arthur. (3x1-2)
Soon after her second attempt on the castle, we see another large shift in motivations. She almost dies and is severely injured which puts her in a vulnerable place and during this same time she learns she is Uther’s daughter in blood as well as circumstance. She learns that he never was willing to claim her or even tell her. This pushes her to act rashly, almost committing patricide. (3x05)
Her ability to be cruel in her aims continues to grow, to hurt Arthur she puts Gwen through terrible pain as well as Elyan. (3x07) We see her magic grow, her emotions grow but her ability to hide her intentions failing, at least around Gwen. Her attempts at her family's lives also continue to be cruel as she tries to kill Arthur and Uther in slow and painful ways. (3x08, 3x11)
When Morgana isn’t trying to kill the people she used to love she is trying to mess with their lives in more petty ways. This includes exposing the love Arthur and Gwen have for each other, putting their relationship in jeopardy and Gwen’s over well being. This is over her fear of Gwen being Queen when Arthur would become Queen, something that Morgana gains obsessive thoughts over throughout the rest of the story. (3x10)
Morgana is willing to kill a large number of the people at this point not only those she has a personal issue with. Though she does offer safety to Gwen thought it’s contingent on her considering Morgana to be the rightful queen. She is willing to rule by fear and threat, not understanding how to win over the people. (3x12-13). This attempt fails and Morgana loses her sister and the allies her sister made.
After being defeated and having to flee the castle with her dying sister she spends a year moving around with her ill sister while also gaining more strength and becoming a fully-fledged High Priestess of the Old Religion.
In an attempt to take the castle again she has to kill her sister. Something that caused her great distress as Morgana believed Morgause was the only person who understood and loved her. This event causes great suffering to all, it’s also when Morgana adds her obsession with Emrys along with her obsessive thoughts over Gwen and Uther.
During this first period of exile, she recruits Agravaine to be her spy and aid within the court. They seem to be united by a common cause but Morgana doesn’t treat him as equal, adopting the belief she hated so much from Uther, treating others as tools.
She also accepted a standard of living that is much below that of the ward of the king. Her way of dress and acting also shifts, she’s still cunning and driven but while now being the master of herself she is more erratic and seems to feel just as out of control and obsessed as she was when living a lie. Her affect control, impulse control, regulation and social regulation deteriorated. Fear also returns to being a driving force. (4x01-2)
Morgana succeeds in killing Uther in The Wicked Day (4x03) by cursing a necklace and Agravaine puts it on Uther so that when Arthur uses magic to try and bring back his father from a fatal injury he dies faster. Planning to finally kill her father she also wishes guilt and pain on her brother.
We then see Morgana use both strength and her ability to manipulate to work Queen Annis to try and kill Arthur. Morgana is not against using her history to use another person. However, Annis sees through her when Arthur shows honour and points out that Morgana is much more like Uther than she realises, and in saying this it also refutes the point Morgana tried to make early in the episode that Gorlois was who was her true father. This is true in both the biological sense but also through the fact that Uther spent more time acting as her father and had generally known her own life. This statement also acts as a trigger causing her to show extreme emotions. (4x05)
One of the key lines of dialogue we have to see where Morgana’s mindset is at during this period is
Morgana: Don’t think I don’t understand loyalty because I’ve got no one left to be loyal to
This is important because it shows that the isolation that started by The Nightmare Begins has enveloped her. Now she is no longer even fighting with or for anyone she has devoted herself to revenge and survival.
We also see the fear that drives Morgana as at the site of Emrys her first reaction is flight. During their battle, we see that they are almost evenly matched in magical power, though Morgana only really gets through due to Merlin not being willing to act decisively still. (4x06)
Morgana's obsession with Emrys becomes almost all-consuming. Morgana gives away the most emotionally significant thing left of her sister to obtain information on Emrys. She tries desperately to find the information torturing a man who spent her childhood helping to take care of her. But a layer of contradictions exists as he also tried to make her doubt her reality and is helping the person destined to prevent her ascension to queen and to kill her. This complex relationship is important here for the emotional repercussions of what seems like a straightforward attempt to extract information. (4x07)
Morgana shows no regard for even the laws of life and death gain in her quest in Lancelot Du Lac (4x09) bringing Lancelot back to life. Morgana does not even to directly finish her quest to take the throne but to ruin her once friend, and closest confidant's chance at happiness. This is driven by an obsession with her past nightmare about Gwen becoming Queen. Though of course, it has the added benefit of breaking her brother's heart. The only show of emotional connection we see in her is the fear underlying her actions and her musings on the emptiness the shade Lancelot has.
During The Sword and The Stone (4x12-13), we see Morgana take over the castle by using Agravaine for treason. Morgana is not only ruthless in what would be considered warfare but takes initiative to be cruel to the peasants willing to let them starve to gain control. She then tortures Gawain, Elyan and Gaius not only for information but just because she gains pleasure from it. The ability to empathise with those she deemed her enemies is no longer existent, even those who have not directly harmed her. Her depressive states and emotional nubbing is only broken when she can exert control over other people. She is choosing to hurt others for her pleasure.
This is their first battle when both Morgana and Arthur understand who the other is. Morgana calls him as her “dear brother” as a taunt. We then have this exchange:
King Arthur: What happened to you, Morgana?
King Arthur: I thought we were friends
Morgana: As did I. But alas, we were both wrong.
King Arthur: You can't blame me for my father's sins.
Morgana: It's a little late for that. You’ve made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. You're not as different from Uther as you'd like to think.
King Arthur: Nor are you.
Morgana: I’m going to enjoy killing you, Arthur Pendragon. Not even Emrys can save you now.
We see Arthur is hurt by what happened and truly did love Morgana and doesn’t like having to fight her like this. And Morgana is consumed by the pain of the past to the inability to care for the present. Arthur, however, is not giving her the power of acknowledging her as his sister. He still says “my father”. He compares her to their father and triggers her anger. We see them attempt to fight, Morgana is unable to use her magic due to Merlin and panics.
She gathers herself, able to make her escape even coming close to killing Gwen. She then almost dies only being revived by Aithusa, who becomes her closest friend from this point on. (4x13)
We then have another time skip of over two years. Two of those years Morgana was being tortured in the pit by The Sarum. This has the effect of taking an already traumatised individual and layering two years of severe chronic trauma on top of it. She has less control of herself as a result of this and loses the little bit of impulse control she had.
We first see Morgana after this when she is searching for the Diamair to try and learn how to beat Arthur. Morgana can capture and lure Arthur to her by kidnapping his men and using spies. She almost finds what she seeks but the creature itself has no wish to be used by her making her search futile. We also see her not even consider a father being willing to do something dangerous to save his daughter, her own acquired lack of compassion colouring her judgement.
This is also the re-introduction of Mordred, a character that acts as the turning point in the rest of the narrative. Seeing Mordred shows some of the only real joy we see from Morgana since her sister died years back. She, however, pushes him away due to her display of rage and dysregulation. Mordred stabs her literally in the back. (5x01-2)
One of Morgana's most cruel attacks is used to try and turn Gwen into a weapon by torturing her for days, breaking down her psychological defences leaving her open to manipulation. This leaves her under control of Morgana thinking that Morgana cares for her. While this is mainly a spell able to be broken there is a part that relies on Gwen's psychology of being compassionate so she will be sympathetic to Morgana’s story and trauma. With the long psychological attacks and this play on Gwen's compassion, we see Morana essentially form a trauma bond. She manipulates Gwen’s perceptions and emotions in a way that is very similar to emotional abusers.
This act also kills Elyan in Morgana's attempt to harm Arthur (5x06) During this control we see how strongly Morgana used it to make Gwen not only a weapon but also they feel like they are friends again, being lonely might have been part of why he chose this method and less of a direct method like she did with Merlin. (5x07-8)
Once Arthur is aware of her curse on Gwen he sets out to break the magic but is almost thwarted by the Dochraid who tells Morgana of his plans to save Gwen. This is interesting as the Dochraid is one of the few magic beings who truly side with Morgana betting on her strength of will over Merlin’s. Morgana is then forced to face off against the one thing other than her dragon, Mordred. Mordred puts up a good fight even saving Merlin’s secret. She felt conflicted in harming him and ends up losing to his surprise attack. (5x09)
After her plan with Gwen fails he returns to her full-tilt hunt for Emrys. She hunts the Catha for information causing terror across multiple kingdoms, then excruciatingly tortures him to try and find out. Hunting anyone down who might know these plans however fail because Alator and Finna believed in something larger and were willing to suffer and die. Morgana no longer understands the bigger picture her idea of a world free for magic isn't her leading drive anymore. After this incident, Morgana is seen to have declared all-out war with Camelot. (5x10)
Mordred acts as the last domino to fall into place before the final battle between Morgana and Arthur Pendragon. When Kara is killed and Merlin and Arthur were the drivers behind her execution, Mordred becomes angry enough at the system of Camelot to move to side with someone he saw as dangerous and broken. He gives Morgana the information she needs on Emrys. (5x11)
With Mordred by her side, Morgana makes her final move, forging a sword just to kill Arthur and finalizing the amassment of an army. She clears the way by removing Emrys from the situation, giving her and Mordred a clean shot at Arthur and the army of Camelot. However, she underestimates Merlin and we see her lose much of her Army and Mordred. This causes Morgana despair as she has to bury the last person she loved. One of the few things that could even start to pierce her depression is ripped away.
This loss isn’t enough to stop the endless patterns of a compulsive need to take out revenge on Arthur.
The final moments of her life she taunts her brother in his death claiming a victory. It’s however short-lived as Merlin kills her with a dragon fire-forged blade right after she claims her immortality. Her pain consumed her, and as the death of her father there is no triumph in hurting her brother as all it does is open her up for her death. (5x12-13)
#fandom:#merlin#BBC Merlin#Character:#Morgana Pendragon#Arthur Pendragon#uther pendragon#Emrys#Mordred#Morgause#type:#txt#my post#topic:#character analysis#character study#CW:#abuse#violence#other:#Morgana#katie mcgrath#merlin meta#ship:#Morgana & Uther#Morgana & Arthur#guinevere#gwen#Gaius#Morgana & morgause
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“Well, they’re more like a mom and dad who have a... hands-off approach to parenting.”
“That sounds... awkward. I don’t know if that’s better or worse than never knowing your parents at all.”
“Yeah... me neither. I’m lucky to have my uncle, at least.”
“...Hey, Kaito? You’ve been quiet for a while. Is something wrong?”
“Hm? Oh, nah, it’s nothing. Just spaced out for a bit, that’s all. My bad.”
“You know, Kaito... you live with your grandparents, right? And you never talk about your parents. It... it might not be any of my business, but I couldn’t help but wonder... are you... like me? Or... perhaps a bit like Maki, and you don’t even remember them?”
“Huh? N-No, it’s... neither of those.”
“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to—”
“Hey, it’s fine. I... I guess I don’t mind telling you guys. They... my parents died in a car crash when I was ten.”
---
@trainingtrioweek Day 5: Family
Instead of an art today, some rambly thoughts that this prompt gave me the perfect excuse to bring up. (If you’re finding my blog through this event: as well as arts, I also do quite a bit of meta and not-quite-meta rambling such as this kind of thing on here, usually still about the training trio!)
It’s only especially relevant in non-fiction AUs such as UTDP where everyone’s families are actually real, but – can we talk about the fact that all three of the training trio, in very different ways, are lacking in parents with both the qualities of being alive and being decent parents?
Shuichi
Shuichi’s parent issues are only mentioned briefly in one of his FTEs and don’t get nearly as much focus as his detective-related issues caused by that one case that traumatised him. But it’s possible that they could actually explain quite a bit about him.
It seems to be only in fairly recent years that Shuichi’s parents moved to work overseas and he was sent to live with his detective uncle. However, his bitter comment about his parents’ “hands-off approach to parenting” (that part of the line I wrote here was taken directly from his canon FTE) implies that they weren’t particularly there for him even when they were his primary caregivers.
He also mentions in this FTE that he became an apprentice to his uncle “as thanks for looking after me”. Which, like… that shouldn’t be necessary? Having someone take care of you is a basic human right for a child. But apparently, being properly looked after is not something Shuichi takes for granted, to the point that he feels like he needs to repay the person who does it for him. Ouch. Poor Shuichi.
Thinking on this, it feels like Shuichi’s distant parents could be a big part of why he grew up so anxious and insecure, and why he instinctively seeks out people he can depend on wholeheartedly and latches onto them when he finds them, like he did with Kaede and Kaito. And most likely with his uncle too, for that matter.
I can definitely imagine Shuichi managing to pick up on the clues about Kaito that suggest things aren’t great regarding his parents, and quietly wondering if they’re the same – maybe even sort of hoping they are, so that he’d have someone who really understands. And, well, turns out they aren’t quite the same after all, but nonetheless, knowing that Kaito’s gone through something similar and can relate on some level would still help Shuichi feel less alone with this.
Kaito
Meanwhile, what happened with Kaito’s parents probably also played a bit of a role in shaping him into the person he is, but in more of a positive way.
I’ve seen some people assume that the deal with Kaito’s parents is that they’re shitty parents kind of like Shuichi’s are, and that this is why Kaito talks himself up to be so super awesome all the time, out of a desperate need for the validation that he never got from his own home. But I don’t think that fits. While the stress of the killing game and his illness begin to really get to him and gradually break down his self-worth, it absolutely reads to me like Kaito’s confidence in himself at the beginning of the game was completely genuine. I don’t believe – at the start – that he needed validation from anyone else to know that he was the awesome person he said he was.
So, I believe Kaito’s parents must have been great and supportive parents. They’d need to have been, for Kaito to be able to grow up with so much real confidence, so unashamed of being bombastically himself all the time even if everyone else thinks he’s a ridiculous idiot. But then, if those lovely parents had died all of a sudden when Kaito was young (young-ish, but old enough to properly remember)… that would also have helped shape him into the Kaito we know, in that it’d make him even more determined to live his life to the fullest and not waste a moment of it.
[There’s more than just these general unsubstantiated feelings about Kaito’s overall character that make me sure his parents died, though – there’s also a few canon lines that I believe are deliberately subtly hinting at it. If you want to see which lines and what I think about them, I’ve compiled them in a section at the end of this post.]
Of course, Kaito losing his parents would have been an incredibly difficult and painful experience at the time. But with his grandparents’ support and his own natural resilience and optimism, Kaito appears to have dealt with it as well as any kid losing their parents could be expected to. He’d be determined to use it to push him forward rather than let it hold him back, and it definitely seems like he succeeded.
(Even so, it’d still hurt sometimes. He still misses them, even if he mostly does a good job of not dwelling on it or letting it get him down.)
Unlike most of his other “weaknesses”, Kaito wouldn’t ever try to outright hide or lie about what happened to his parents. He’s come to terms with it by now, and he’s not and never was ashamed of it – every kid’s expected to grieve for their parents, after all – so I don’t think it’d quite set off his hero issues and make him afraid of letting his sidekicks down if they found out.
But still, I imagine Kaito wouldn’t bring it up unless specifically asked about it. No matter how much he tries to focus on the positives and assure people that he’s okay with it now, it… tends to make people feel sorry for him, and he doesn’t like that.
However, after being prompted to talk about it during this conversation with Shuichi and Maki about their parent situations, Kaito would come to realise that maybe that’s not such an issue with them. Maki and Shuichi each have their own painful lack-of-parents problems that they’ve had to get used to, so they’re not going to be unconsciously pitying Kaito for his. That’d make a refreshing change from most people.
Maki in particular must have known some kids at the orphanage who’d been in Kaito’s situation, in that they used to live with their parents and had to go through the grief of losing them. From this, she’s able to tell that, while it’s partly because he was lucky enough to still have his grandparents, Kaito really does seem to have dealt with losing his parents remarkably well. Kaito already knew that – his grandparents would have told him how proud they are of him for coping so well – but it’d help to know that someone from outside the situation thinks the same thing.
(He still wouldn’t quite bring up the moments where it still hurts and he finds himself missing his parents terribly, because that’s weakness, isn’t it? But at least, knowing that his sidekicks understand this kind of pain, albeit in a bit of a different way, would help it hurt just a little less whenever Kaito can’t help but feel like this. He wouldn’t tell them, but he’d be really glad to have that.)
Maki
Maki’s probably actually the least interesting one to talk about here, because she grew up in an orphanage where not having parents was normal and never felt like the odd one out, and she never even knew her parents to have any feelings about them in particular. It seems she had more just a general fantasy of what having parents would be like which she could share with the other kids there – she talks in one of her FTEs about how she and her best friend played House in the role of the parents and just had to make it up. Then, of course, Maki gained much worse things to be dealing with and shaping her into the person she is than a simple lack of parents.
Still, being at Hope’s Peak (or whatever other school they’re at together in this non-fiction AU) and suddenly being surrounded by other kids who constantly talk about their parents like it’s normal… it probably feels vaguely alienating for Maki, on top of every other reason she has to feel like she doesn’t belong.
But at least Shuichi and Kaito understand, in a way. They know what it feels like to hear the other kids casually talk about doing things with their parents while only being able to wish that were normal for them. Maki’s not so much of an outsider, not when she’s with these two.
And in that same way, Kaito and Shuichi would feel less alone in this regard when the trio are together. All three of them have learned to live with their situations and not complain, but it must be nice to have someone else – two someone elses – who know the kind of feeling they’re going through and can relate, even if it’s rather different for each of them.
They’d be able to bond over this – and not just as hero and sidekicks, but as equals, because this is something even Kaito isn’t completely okay about. They are friends.
(Or, maybe, they’re also like a found family? Shuichi and Kaito are certainly the closest thing to a family that Maki’s had in a long time.)
---
[appendix: why I’m sure Kaito’s parents died]
First off, there’s the possibility that Kaito’s grandparents are the subject of his motive video simply because he never knew his parents at all, a bit like Maki. But that can’t be the case, based on this line from his second FTE:
Kaito: “When I was a kid, I’d go to my gramps’ place to play sometimes…”
If he considered it his “gramps’ place” at the time and only went there sometimes, he wasn’t living with them back when he was that young. So apparently, his parents were still around at that time.
Which means that something else happened with Kaito’s parents to make his grandparents the most important people in his life. There are pretty much two possibilities for this: that Kaito’s parents died sometime after those stories he told in his FTEs, or that Kaito’s parents are just assholes and so he prefers his grandparents to them.
With regards to the possibility that his parents are assholes: aside from how I don’t think that fits because Kaito’s confidence is too genuine until the killing game beats it down, there’s also one line vaguely relevant to this topic that suggests they aren’t. In UTDP, in a scene where he’s being pestered by Kokichi:
Kaito: “You’re still like this at your age? Doesn’t it make your parents cry? Do you even visit?”
Kaito automatically assumes that Kokichi’s parents care about him, even though it could potentially begin to explain a few things about Kokichi if they didn’t. If Kaito’s own parents sucked, you’d think this’d make him likely to consider the possibility that Kokichi’s might do too. Instead, though, that option doesn’t cross his mind, so it seems like Kaito unconsciously sees parents being decent as the norm.
Meanwhile, there are a few subtle bits throughout the story that indicate Kaito might have some experience in dealing with grief prior to the killing game. At the end of trial 1, after suggesting Shuichi visit Kaede’s lab to help come to terms with her death, he says this:
Kaito: “Understand? There’s only one way to get through this awful feeling. No one’s gonna be able to console you if you’re just sitting here alone. If anyone’s gonna help you, it’ll be her… in your memories.”
This really reads to me like Kaito is speaking from experience – that he’s saying this because he found that something similar helped for him when he was going through a similar kind of pain.
Then there’s the part in trial 3 where he’s encouraging Himiko to face up to Tenko’s death:
Kaito: “Our only option is to face her death head-on!”
Himiko: “…Nyeh? Face her death?”
Kaito: “Himiko… I understand what you’re going through.”
It’s a little oddly specific of Kaito to say that he understands what Himiko’s going through when he hasn’t personally lost anyone he was especially close to in the killing game like she has. And Kaito is absolutely not the kind of person to lie or exaggerate about something this serious and personal to somebody else – this moment is about Himiko and her feelings, and Kaito knows that and wouldn’t try to artificially make things about himself. So this strongly suggests that Kaito does in fact have some idea of what Himiko is going through and is thinking about a loss he suffered outside of the killing game. Facing it head-on sounds like just the kind of thing Kaito would have tried to do for his own grief, doesn’t it?
Then, only a few lines later in that same conversation, Kaito says this:
Kaito: “Abandoning someone who died and only thinking about your own survival… That’s just as bad as a hit-and-run! I won’t forgive something so messed up!”
Which would be an extremely weirdly-specific thing to say in this situation… except that it makes perfect sense if you assume, based on his earlier lines, that Kaito was already thinking about how he felt when he lost his parents.
So, yeah. When I wrote that Kaito’s parents died specifically in a car crash, that wasn’t pulled out of nowhere either. I really believe that’s what the writers had in mind as the truth about Kaito and deliberately hinted at here.
(It does make sense that Kaito would have lost his parents to an accident like this rather than to something like illness. It’s statistically more likely that he was raised by both his parents, and if that’s the case, an accident is something that could take both of them from him at once where illness most likely wouldn’t. Plus, if he’d lost his parent(s) to illness, spending the days and weeks leading up to their death(s) knowing he was going to lose them, you’d think Kaito would have ended up better at psychologically dealing with his own deadly illness than he actually is.)
There’s also a few lines Kaito has here and there about making the most out of the time you’ve got:
Kaito: “If you’re not going to get yourself in gear now, then when!? Now’s all you’ve got!”
Kaito: “Life is short! I don’t have time to waste loafing around here.”
…which, granted, is a very Kaito-like sentiment in general. But it does suggest that he might have learned first-hand that life is short, like he could be thinking about how his parents’ time got cut off abruptly when he’s saying this kind of thing.
The only part of this idea I pulled somewhat out of thin air for this post was that the accident happened specifically when Kaito was ten, but I think something around that age range seems right. Based on the fact that it’s so relatively hard to spot the signs of this in Kaito’s behaviour, it feels like losing his parents wasn’t so recent that the wound is still raw, and also not so early on in his childhood that it would have left a huge, noticeable scar on his psyche. Kaito’s long since managed to come out on the other side and develop a healthy, positive way of dealing with grief that he can try to pass onto both Shuichi and Himiko during the game, such that doing so is the only real noticeable sign that he even went through anything painful himself at all.
#danganronpa v3#danganronpa v3 spoilers#kaito momota#shuichi saihara#maki harukawa#training trio#friends#training trio week 2020#ramble
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I’m sorry, I’m not great at close up/slight dynamic poses! At least the shading looks nice...
Anywayyyy, here’s that ship picture I briefly mentioned before! This is suppose to be when Julie, Breach and Francis realized they were in love with their future partner. All of them had different circumstances when it hit them.
Also! I should probally mention that my redraws are also part of my own rewrite/reboot/remake or whatever you wanna call of it each show. I have a made up canon.
-Benlie-
It had been a while since Julie met Ben, went on a couple of dates, learned his secret, adopted an alien pet and watch Ben have fourteen baby chills. A strange life Julie got caught up in, but she is somewhat glad to be part of the galaxy world in someways.
As for this relationship, is had been a quiet day where the two finally got a full date, without any chaos. It was also the time she got to see parts of Ben that he rarely displayed. His softer and cute goofball side, rather than overly confident hero pushed around.
Yes, his bravery to go out and protect or save people is a big bonus to her, but seeing this calmer side made her realize just how complicated this boy was underneath, along with being comfortable enough to show her it.
Her cute goof.
Notes:
A very up and down relationship for a while, but they finally settled and become very much official sometime when they were seventeen. Somewhat thanks to Vilgax actually...
The pair have this cute little couple comfort thing where they’ll rest foreheads together. It always calms Ben, allowing him at least a moment to relax and think, thankful to have someone close as he does so.
While Ben has had plenty of other girls flirt with them, there once was a event where a prince alien was hitting on Julie. He was quick to put the prince in his place.
Ben likes to serenade her with his guitar skills~
Julie (With Ship as her battle suit) once beat the crap out of Vilgax when he was tormenting Ben.
It’ll take quite sometime before Julie’s dad will approve of Ben. He knows the kid’s not bad, he’s just protective of his little girl, especially with the kind of life he lives.
When his arm is replaced by the Omnitrix, she was one of the key people who helped him adjust to living with it, sometime using Ship to relieve the stress it put on him in the early days of having it.
She is one of the few people who can keep him in line.
When they get back together, Ben was absolutely nervous he would screw it up again, coming off a sweeter, yet more anxious at times. But she is patient, along with admitting she also caused problems in the past as well.
Many openly tell Ben they approve of her. His parents, grandparents, Gwen, Kevin, hell, even Azmuth.
They like having morning jogs together.
-Brex-
Breach had gotten herself caught up in...dangerous and dark matters. She was so scared, unsure how to process anything. So, she went to the only person she trusted at the time, Rex.
The boy agreed to help, especially after seeing how distressed she was. Unfortunately, he ended up getting caught in the danger and the pair got stuck in a fight with some foes. Breach was wary, confused, hurting and panicked, her emotions uncontrollable. The fight, loud noises, people who hurt her, she couldn’t take it and snapped, her portals going crazy while she fled to the world of stillness. She had planned to stay there, away from all that scared and hurt her. But...Rex showed up, having chased after her.
Despite being battered, bruised and bleeding, this boy went to hell and back to reach out to her, telling her he wasn’t giving up on her, that he cares and wants to help, no matter what.
She had never had someone so determined to help her. Most would cast her aside when they saw the ugly side of her. But in that moment, she realized something. Rex did care, he was her friend and he was real...and that she loved him for it.
Notes:
Their favorite movie to watch together is ‘Book Of Life’. The colours, characters and story always makes them happy. They even dressed up as La Muerte and Xibalba on Halloween.
When they first started dating, Breach was rather insecure. It was common knowledge that Rex was handsome with a charming personality, resulting in plenty of people flirting with him. It often made her wonder why he picked her out of all the other girls.
Rex loves their height difference, because he will often nuzzle the top of her head or hang his arms over her shoulders from behind.
They both support each other on the fact they both know they are powerful EVOs that can be destructive, promising that whenever either of them snaps, the other will do what they can to reach them.
When they’re older and live together, Breach actually uses her powers to move Rex’s old family home closer to Providence for them to live in.
Rex has found a way to comfort her is by connecting their nanites. It keeps her grounded to reality and makes her feel closer to him.
When they start becoming friends, she likes to ask him all kinds of questions. Some serious, some not. He’s always happy to answer and explain how the world works to her.
You disrespect his girl, he won’t be afraid to disrespect you. (That or smack you.)
Her relationship towards Six and Holiday is somewhat iffy...but it gets there.
-Zancis-
It had been a a few month since Francis crashed with the Saturdays, hiding from his people. But over time, he started to feel...strange? He didn’t know what was wrong with him, so he began to invetiage.
Could he be sick? No, that wasn’t it, because it only happened whenever he was around Zak. They would still sass each other, but he knows it’s not old grudges jabbing away at him. Maybe his people put a code in his brain?...Nope, not that.
He seems a good while trying to figure out what is wrong, when one day it finally hit him. Somehow, when walking into the kitchen one morning, seeing a dead tired Zak tying up his messing hair in the sunlight, was what made him realizes he had feeling for the fellow teen....it was also then he realized how screwed he was.
Notes:
It took a good while for Francis to gain the approval of each Saturday member. They were all so protective of their youngest member. Drew somewhat scared him the most.
His confession for Zak had...not been romantic in the slightess. Instead, he shouted out his feelings for him after a tense situation and argument.
Zak is a very cuddly and snuggly guy, always wanting some kind of psychical contact with others. Poor Francis wasn’t use to kind of affection, along with how needy his boyfriend could get.
Zak is 100% the alpha of the relationship. He can be scary when he wants to be.
When they started dating, Francis did endly research on relationships (Both romantic and friendship), partner behavior and even about dragon, given Zak is partly one.
They still and always will love to tease and sass each other, making it somewhat a running joke to roast one another.
When Zak became aware of his feelings, he offer to start dating and see where it went. But it would take him a bit before he would start falling for his green boy.
As much as they tease each other, Zak is really the only person Francis can go to about his deep rooted issues. He had been learning a lot about family since joining the Saturdays.
Wadi is a hard core shipper of the two.
Francis swears he nearly had a heart attack after seeing what ‘The Hammerthrow’ was...
#GR#TSS#B10#Generator Rex#The Secret Saturdays#Secret Saturdays#Ben 10#ben 10 alien force#ben 10 ultimate alien#ben 10 omniverse#zak saturday#the secret saturdays zak#the secret saturdays zak saturday#zak x francis#The Secret Saturdays Francis#The Secret Saturdays Zak Francis#Zancis#Brex#rex salazar#generator rex rex salazar#Breach#Generator Rex Breach#Generator Rex Breach Rex#Benlie#Ben X Julie#Rex X Breach#Ben 10 Ben Tennyson#Ben 10 Julie Yamamoto#Ben 10 Ben Julie#redesign
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It’s Over! ( Biblical Update )
By Daymond Duck Published on: August 15, 2021
“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come” (II Tim. 3:1).
Be aware that “evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived” (II Tim. 3:13).
The right of U.S. citizens to freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom to buy and sell, etc., is being challenged by the shadow government’s desire to restrict and/or control American’s freedom of religion, speech, right to buy and sell, etc.
Covid is a global medical crisis that the godless shadow government created to justify the establishment of a world government, world religion, and worldwide tracking system to enslave everyone on earth.
The public is being told that proof of vaccination (passports, I.D. cards, or whatever) is needed to bring Covid-19 under control when the truth of the matter is that Covid-19 and the variants are a tool that the rich and powerful are using to bring all people under their control.
It is possible and perhaps likely that this proof of vaccination will eventually be followed by the lockdown and persecution of Christian groups and institutions based on their support for Bible teaching and lack of support for the globalist agenda (the godless world government, godless world religion, abortion, gay rights, etc.).
Before the persecution reaches its peak, Christians will be removed (Raptured) from this earth, and the door will be thrown wide open for the godless shadow government to select a leader to take dictatorial power on earth.
Following his appearance, their so-called proof of vaccination will probably evolve into a data system that will be used to determine who can buy and sell, who can live or die, etc. (Don’t overlook the fact that some of the leaders that want to force everyone to be vaccinated are the same people that want to reduce the population of the earth from almost 8 billion to about half a billion; many support abortion, gay marriage, euthanasia, etc.).
God will allow these godless globalists to select a leader to rule for seven years, but God will ultimately cause them to regret what they have done for all eternity.
A reader recently sent an e-mail to this writer containing part of a message that Dr. Franklin Graham delivered at a Baptist Church in Florida.
Dr. Graham said, “The American Dream has ended.”
Readers need to understand that the one who said “The American Dream has ended” is one of the most highly respected preachers in the world, not a fanatic and not a prophecy teacher, but America must decline if the globalists are going to meet their goal of a world government and a world religion by 2030 or before.
Here is a repeat from the article I wrote last week: On July 27, 2021, former Sec. of State Mike Pompeo said, “Collapse from within is possible… Immigration without assimilation, illicit drugs, human trafficking, disputed elections, inflationary risks have become the tools to disassemble our republic in what must surely be an attempt at national suicide.”
I want to close my opening remarks this way: We are not seeing the Mark of the Beast yet (people are not being jabbed in their right hand or forehead; people are not taking the name, number, or Mark of the Beast; unvaccinated people can still buy and sell in most places; etc.).
On the other hand, we are seeing the global development and advancement of technology and policies that many excellent Bible prophecy teachers believe will lead to the Mark of the Beast (forced compliance, loss of one’s job, development of passports or passes, a demand for government databases to track people, a demand to prevent the unvaccinated from entering stores to buy or sell, the spread of anti-Christian rhetoric, etc.).
Also, keep in mind the fact that the Church will be Raptured a minimum of 3 ½ years (and perhaps more) before the global development and advancement of the technology and policies goes into effect as the Mark of the Beast (the Gates of Hell will not prevail against the Church).
Here are other reasons to believe that history is approaching end of the age Bible predictions and the American Dream is over.
One, when Jesus was asked about the signs of His coming, He listed famines, pestilences, earthquakes, etc. (notice that the words are plural as in more than one famine, more than one pestilence, etc.; Matt. 24:7).
Today, the world is trying to deal with Covid-19, the Delta (India variant), Lambda (Peru variant), and Epsilon variant (pestilences plural).
Two, on Aug. 6, 2021, California announced that a low water level caused by drought has forced the shutdown of the state’s second largest hydroelectric plant for the first time since the dam was completed in 1977.
The state will be able to get electricity from other systems.
More: On Aug. 4, 2021, the Dixie wildfire destroyed Greenville, Cal., a gold rush town of about 1,200 people (5 days later, Fox News reported that about 600 buildings have burned and about 13,000 are in danger).
More: On Aug. 6, 2021, it was reported that Lake Powell on the Utah-Arizona border, the Great Salt Lake in Utah, and Lake Mead in Nevada have hit record lows this summer.
FYI: Drought is having a devastating impact on crops, cattle, hog, and sheep production in the U.S. (a very large part of America’s food supply).
FYI: Unprecedented wildfires are also taking place in Greece, Italy, Turkey, Lebanon, and Russia.
Three, during the Tribulation Period, the world will be divided into two groups: those that take the Mark of the Beast and those that refuse to take the Mark of the Beast.
Today, the world is being divided into two groups: those that have been vaccinated and those that have not been vaccinated.
Four, on Aug. 9, 2021, World Net Daily posted an article by Wayne Allen Root that said:
Republicans asked for “papers” from migrants who had broken into our country. Criminals. Democrats said, “No, that’s racism.”
Republicans asked for “papers” once every two years for federal elections to prove you have a right to vote. Democrats said, “No, that’s racism.”
Now Democrats want American citizens, not illegal aliens, not criminals, but patriots born in this country to produce papers 24/7. We’ll need papers to enter restaurants, bars, nightclubs, concerts, casinos, conventions, and hotels and to board a train, plane, or bus. We’ll need papers to enter a supermarket, or we’ll starve to death—all for the crime of being unvaccinated.
Note: U.S. Sen. Rand Paul said the U.S. is at a crossroads, and he is urging U.S. citizens to “resist the mandates, lockdowns, and the harmful policies of the petty tyrants and bureaucrats.”
Five, on Aug. 6, 2021, Natural News reported that the U.K. has admitted that it is building storage areas for bodies in the 32 boroughs of London and the city itself.
These storage areas are being built because the government expects an increase in deaths over the next five years due to their attempts to force people to be vaccinated (some people that are not allowed to buy and sell will go hungry, get sick, etc.).
Writer’s Comment: It is common for some people to ask how bad will God let it get before He Raptures His Church. No one knows the answer to this, but the situation is worsening, and Christians everywhere need to pray about it.
Six, on July 31, 2021, the Carnival Cruise Ship Vista left Galveston, TX with everyone or board vaccinated (every guest, every crew member, every staff member, everyone vaccinated; no unvaccinated people on board).
On Aug. 8, 2021, it was reported that a small number of people on the ship have tested positive for Covid.
Seven, God promised to bless those that bless Israel and to curse those that curse Israel (Gen. 12:3).
On Aug. 4, 2021, the Iranian-backed terrorist group that controls Lebanon, Hezbollah, fired three rockets into Israel.
On Aug. 5, 2021, Israeli jets struck terrorist targets in Lebanon for the first time in 15 years, and Pres. Biden announced that he will give the terrorist government $100 million dollars in economic aid (borrowed money that will add to inflation in the U.S.).
On Aug. 6, 2021, Hezbollah forces fired 19 rockets from Lebanon into Israel, and Israel responded with artillery fire.
On Aug. 8, 2021, new hardline Iranian Pres. Raisi met with leaders of the terrorist groups Hamas, Hezbollah, the Palestinian Islamic Jihad (PIJ), and the Houthis, and promised to support their terrorist activities until Israel is defeated.
Writer’s Comment: This could easily get out of hand and lead to the fulfillment of several prophecies (Psa. 83 if that is a war; the Destruction of Damascus as prophesied in Isa. 17; the Battle of Gog and Magog as prophesied in Ezek. 38-39; time will tell.).
Eight, violence is on the increase, and some politicians want to defund the police and take the guns away from law-abiding citizens, but the globalist goal is only partly to prevent citizens from defending themselves against criminals.
The globalist goal is primarily to prevent citizens from defending the U.S. against the shadow government’s takeover of the U.S.
For whatever it is worth, thousands of people have marched in Paris and other French cities four weeks in a row to protest the loss of their freedoms.
On Aug. 6, protests erupted in Turin, Italy.
Nine, on Aug. 6, 2021, a guest on Fox & Friends said the strongest outbreak of the Covid Delta Variant is in Texas and Florida, and those two states are where the Biden administration has taken the largest number of Covid-infected migrants.
Ten, concerning global pandemics and the Mark of the Beast, on July 25, 2021, The Times of Israel reported on a study that found that people vaccinated before Feb. 2021 are twice as likely to get Covid as those vaccinated in June 2021 for two reasons: 1) Their vaccine effectiveness decreases over time and is becoming less effective every day; and 2) The Delta Variant is more contagious than the original Covid-19, and therefore more able to overcome the resistance of their declining vaccination.
The doctor that headed up the study said, “We definitely need to think about a third vaccine.”
It is the opinion of this writer that the globalists will want people to take a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. vaccination until they bring in the Mark of the Beast.
Update: On Aug. 5, 2021, Moderna said data shows a noticeable drop in antibody levels 6-8 months after a vaccinated person’s second jab, so vaccinated people will need to get a booster shot this fall.
Writer’s Comment: Just a reminder to U.S. citizens that Pres. Biden said, “You’re not going to get Covid if you have these vaccines.”
Eleven, concerning world government: it is widely known that the World Economic Forum (WEF) wants to establish a world government and eliminate private property ownership by 2030 or before.
The WEF even produced a video saying, “You will own nothing, and you will be happy.”
My article “Developing Now,” posted two weeks ago, quoted Tony Koretz who said, “A global medical dictatorship is rising.”
I added that “It is hard to deny that the shadow government is using unelected individuals to dictate policies to nations all over the world.”
On Aug. 3, 2021, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) extended the U.S. government’s eviction moratorium, a document that allows renters in areas that have a high level of Covid to not pay their rent.
Put another way, property owners that have rented their house, apartment, etc., to someone else must make the mortgage payments (if the property owner has a mortgage payment), pay to keep the house, apartment, etc., repaired, and the property owner cannot evict the renter for not paying their rent (the renter can live in the house free, and the property owner must pay the bills).
The fact that the CDC (a medical group) can force private property owners to make the property payments and let renters live in the property free sure looks like a global medical dictatorship has taken over.
The real owners of the property are not happy with making the payments and receiving no rent.
Twelve, on Aug. 4, 2021, concerning a Mark on the forehead to buy and sell, it was reported that Amazon is now using palm scanners at 53 Amazon-owned stores, and it plans to expand the program to other stores in the U.S.
Customers can use a simple hand scan to pay, enter or I.D. themselves, and Amazon will give them a $10 promotional credit to sign up.
Before my final word, pastor Keith Watts asked me to include this paragraph in my article (something I can’t start doing for ministries all over the world): “I am asking all prayer warriors from around the world to join with us for a day of prayer, fasting, and repentance on August 16, 2021, for the sake of the Philippines and on behalf of over 110,950,213 precious souls. We will be fasting from the time we wake up until we go to bed, interceding on behalf of the lost souls in the Philippines.”
Finally, are you Rapture Ready?
If you want to be rapture ready and go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.
#delta#lambda#epsilon#variant#corrona#covid#amazon#cdc#moderna#pfizer#johnson#aztrazeneca#carnival#cruise#ships#renters#world#net#daily#california#fires#rand#paul#wef#philippines#fasting#prayer#warriors#i.d.
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VP AU Hallowe’en Special 2020
//Hey, y’all! Sorry for the tardiness here! Finally got this posted; if you requested specific characters when I asked about it like, a month ago, they make at least a minor appearance. If you requested certain cue-words, they are here and they are bolded/italicized. The main type of genre requested was feel-good type of story, so we have a bit of that here and there. It is a bit long, so I put it under a read-more. Please enjoy this short story, and Happy Belated Hallowe’en! c: //
“Fancy meeting you here, O Seraph.” Zalgo greeted the newcomer from his seat as the other entity stepped into the room. Said room was enormous and spacious with high-vaulted ceilings to accommodate the abnormal heights of its occupants. The walls were made up of bookshelf after bookshelf, upon which rested a myriad of old tomes. There were a few pieces of antique-looking furniture that had obviously been well cared for despite their age, including a pair of unnaturally tall armchairs resting near the fireplace. A red-orange flame danced and crackled merrily beyond the moderately complex masonry of the mantle to illuminate roughly a third of the almost-Gothic architecture in the room.
It was a simple place with a touch of elegance; Zalgo’s style with a few welcoming details for his guest tonight – the one and only Slenderman.
“You did invite me. I don’t see why it surprises you that I’ve come.” The faceless creature responded as he moved to occupy the empty seat by the fire.
“An invitation offered is not automatically an invitation accepted.” Several of Zalgo’s mouths grinned ruefully as he closed his book and tossed it behind him. The thick volume defied the laws of gravity to tuck itself neatly back in its spot on a shelf. The Slenderman did not respond immediately, instead focusing his attention to the warm flames that lit the room.
“Why have you called me here, Old One?” Slenderman finally asked, “What do you want?” Zalgo feigned offense at the other’s questions, complete with an obnoxiously loud gasp and a hand over the still-smiling mouth on his face for an extra touch of dramatic flair.
“We have met here in Purgatory many times solely for the sake of conversation…why do you assume this time is different?” He offered a question in turn. The Slenderman regarded the demon for a moment, and if he had a face, it likely would have displayed a rather deadpan expression.
“Tonight is the Eve of Samhain, where the barriers between are weak. You can’t honestly tell me that you have no motive for this rendezvous other than a social call.” He folded his hands over his lap as he awaited an explanation from the other.
“Oh, you do see right through me, Seraph. I should have expected nothing less from you.” Zalgo’s grin never wavered as he observed his guest. He stood from his seat and began to pace the room slowly as he continued. “I want your help.”
“My help?” The confusion that was evident in the faceless one’s voice was further accentuated by the obvious quirk of the flesh where his brow would be. “We may not be enemies anymore, Old One, but I don’t remember ever agreeing to work together as allies.”
“I don’t mean it as a permanent partnership…just one small, specific task.” Zalgo replied.
“Why? You are capable of anything I am, you don’t need me to-”
“I want to meet my child.” The Slenderman paused abruptly, partly due to the sudden interruption that was so uncharacteristic of Zalgo in conversations, and partly due to what he was saying. There was a long pause as he processed the demon’s request.
“Even with the barriers between being as weak as they are tonight, I still cannot go to the living realm without unintentionally causing death and destruction on a colossal scale,” Zalgo explained, “Lazari, however, will be able to come here…just for a short while…but try as I may I have yet to find a way to guide her here.”
“You want me to find her in the living world and bring her to this place.” It wasn’t a question – the Slenderman didn’t need further discussion to interpret what the other needed of him.
“You wouldn’t need to find her. I already know where she is, and I can tell you. I just need you to bring her here.” There was a strange look in Zalgo’s eyes as he spoke. Slenderman had seen it before in that of humans he’d met, but never an entity of their caliber. He, himself could not put a name to it, as the faceless being had never experienced it.
They stared at each other for a while longer, each with his own thoughts, the silence around them broken only by the crackling of the fire. The Slenderman eventually stood up from his seat, his decision made.
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In a moderately-populated town on the outskirts of the woods, two young girls wandered through a brightly-lit neighborhood. That was far from unusual on this night – there were many children out in various costumes, all walking up to spookily-decorated homes to ask strangers for candy under the watchful gazes of older family members.
These little girls had no family to watch over them…but that wasn’t exactly necessary for poltergeists, now was it? Lacy Morgan was quiet as ever while they walked along, occasionally joining groups of living children at the doors of homes for trick or treating. While Lacy saw no point in playing dress-up, Sally was happily flaunting the incredibly-made costume Trenderman had prepared for her this year. She was dressed as the Red Queen of Hearts from the original Alice in Wonderland movie, complete with a green-dodo-bird-turned-croquet-mallet prop in one of her hands. She hummed a little tune to herself as they got closer to the “interesting Halloween circus” that “popped up out of nowhere” everyone in town planned to enjoy with their kids for the evening.
They eventually made it to the open gates of the Candy Circus and managed to wander in around the crowds of living people who had come to have fun. It was there that Lacy and Sally separated from each other, each with her own plans for the evening. Sally wandered to each of the booths, peeking around guests playing the games there in search of a familiar face…and finally she found one, though not necessarily the one she was hoping for.
The little girl walked through the back wall of the booth to appear behind none other than Hoodie – sans mask, of course. He didn’t notice her at first as he handed a stuffed animal prize to a little boy dressed as an alien; he jumped and just barely managed to hold back a scream when he turned around and suddenly saw her there.
“Where’s Masky?” she asked. If anyone knew where he was, it’d be his partner, right?
“I’m not sure,” Hoodie answered as he calmed down from nearly having a heart attack, “He isn’t here at the circus, though. He said he had something important to take care of before he could join us.” Sally’s face formed a small pout at this answer. She wondered what her big bro could possibly find more important than the festivities here. She got a hint to the answer as she felt a slight chill in her soul, followed by a strong tug back to that place.
She frowned and walked back through the wall of the booth, trying to ignore the unsettling feelings as she explored the circus. She heard loud and raucous laughter over by the Ferris Wheel and saw none other than one of the circus owners.
Candy Pop looked about to collapse with how hard he was laughing as he leaned on his mallet for support. Judge Angels was on her knees in a giggle fit while Helen stood nearby with the faint ghost of a smile on his lips. Sally wondered what was so funny. She stepped up toward the group, prepared to ask in hopes it would take her mind off the odd feelings she was experiencing.
“My word, Sally, dear, just look at you!” Candy Pop gushed as he spotted her. “That old fashionista has really outdone himself with his work this year…and I have to admit, he found the perfect model for that one!” The jester grinned as he danced around her to get the full view of the craftsmanship that went into her costume.
“I’ll tell him you liked it,” Sally smiled awkwardly as Pop came back to his original spot in front of her. The jester nodded while Helen helped Dina to her feet. She was still chuckling, and every time she almost managed a straight face the giggles would start back up again.
“Did you tell a really good joke?” Sally asked Pop.
“Oh, no, dear child – I told a story…a story of the most entertaining insult someone has ever tried to throw at me that turned out so amazing I don’t know whether to call it the worst or the best!” Pop laughed again, and Dina couldn’t help herself as she started up again.
“There’s no way!” The blonde spoke in between laughs, “There’s no way he actually said that!”
“Fortunately for us, and unfortunately for him – he most certainly did.”
“Who said what?” Sally asked, not wanting to be left out. It took Pop a moment to calm down. He took a breath to try and keep the laughter at bay and turned to Sally.
“So…you know of Jeff’s brother, yes? The one they call ‘Homicidal Liu’?” Pop started. Sally nodded. She didn’t really know the guy, but she had heard of him at least. “He is the ‘who’ in this story. I ran into him a while ago and it looked like he’d had a rather dismal day, so I decided to cheer him up a little-” The jester was cut off for a moment by Judge’s laughter.
“Alright, so maybe I wanted to mess with him more than cheer him up, but that’s not the point,” Pop corrected himself with a shrug before continuing. “Either way, I upset the man a little bit, and he started telling me to go away. But I couldn’t just leave when it was finally starting to get fun, so I didn’t. He got the angriest I’ve ever seen, and I half-expected Sully to take control and come after me with his knife, but instead, Liu proved his own ineptitude with swears and insults – which isn’t exactly an unadmirable trait, but still – by calling me, and I quote: ‘an anus-eating boner fuck dick-nose’…” Judge was almost back to her knees again as she covered her mouth in attempt to repress her loud guffaws as the blue-haired jester finished,
“…and no, I have no idea what that means, but I could feel Sully’s embarrassment follow me all the way back to my dimension.” The laughter continued as Pop shook his head in mock-disapproval.
“How did you even respond to that?” Dina managed to ask when she had gotten ahold of herself.
“I didn’t…for once, I had no idea how. So I just left.” Pop gestured wildly with his hands as he said it.
“You probably shouldn’t use those words while children are around,” Helen chimed in, “He may have put them together…strangely…but most of those are still swears.” He looked at Sally, who wore a confused expression. She wasn’t any more fluent in swears and insults than the average eight-year-old child, so she didn’t quite see the humor as well as the others did. Pop paused for a moment, then turned to the little Red Queen.
“Please don’t tell your proxy friend you heard me say those things.” He smiled at her, and she grinned mischievously.
“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.” She giggled and ran off in the direction of the roller coaster without waiting for his reply.
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She had seen the circus, but Jane just wasn’t feeling up to it this year. She didn’t know why, but hanging out with everyone to be happy and celebrate just seemed like it would feel…hollow. She passed people on the sidewalk going in the opposite direction, telling herself she’d stop in for a bit later. She passed a stray dog as she found her way to a nearby park, and noted the familiarity of it. She’d been here before, but when…?
“Jane?” She turned around at the sound of her name to see a woman her age dressed in a wild, electric-blue wig, black pants, and a red shirt that was labeled, ‘Thing 2’. She was a little taller than Jane, with hazel eyes and dark brown hair that was a bit longer than it was the last time they met. Jane remembered her, and by proxy, this park where they had first spent time several years prior.
“Tatiana.” Jane spoke her name, suspicion clearly evident in her tone. She thought Kate had already hunted Tatiana down and killed her. The Chaser was never one to leave loose ends. The girl seemed to flinch at the coldness in Jane’s voice, but recovered quickly.
“I was hoping I’d see you again.” She said awkwardly.
“Why? So you could finish the job?” Jane replied. Jane didn’t know why she was being so bitchy here; she was certain what happened before wasn’t Tatiana’s fault, but she had to admit she was on-edge around her. She had never gotten a definite answer as to whether the girl was actually SCP or had just been brainwashed by them back then. Speaking of SCP, Jane kept her ears open and inconspicuously scanned the area for any sign that the Foundation’s soldiers may be lurking around here. She didn’t want to be taken by surprise again.
“N-no, I wanted to thank you,” Tatiana stuttered nervously. Jane regarded her silently, and Tatiana continued, “You saved me from Kate.”
“I still don’t know if that was a good idea,” came Jane’s retort, albeit a little less certain that Tatiana was untrustworthy.
“Why?”
“She might have been right. You may be working for SCP, trying to lure me into another trap.”
“No! I didn’t even know what SCP was until I looked it up later!” Tatiana argued. “I didn’t even know what your name was until I did a metric fuckton of Google research. I don’t remember how I ended up in that situation. I was getting ready to go out with some friends, and then I was waking up here, surrounded by dead bodies and you telling another girl not to kill me.”
Jane listened to her explanation, looking for any possible holes in her story. Her set of events answered a couple questions Jane had, but there were still a few things that didn’t add up.
“How did you get away from both Kate and SCP, then? Kate was determined to go after you later and finish you off, and she doesn’t make empty threats. Even if you got away from her somehow, SCP would’ve erased your memory at the very least to keep themselves secret. You being alive here, in this same town, with full knowledge of that night…it doesn’t make any sense,” Jane reasoned.
“I wish I knew the answer to that, but I don’t. After that night, I never saw or heard anything from Kate or SCP again. It was like it was just some crazy nightmare. After a while, I started to think that’s all it really was…but you’re here, so it had to be real.”
“Hm.” Jane didn’t know what to do here. She didn’t buy into what she was being told, but at the same time, she would never risk killing someone who might be innocent.
“What are you going to do?” Tatiana asked.
“Nothing,” Jane shrugged, “I’m not going to kill you, but I’m not going to stick around here and find out the hard way if you can or can’t be trusted.” With that, Jane left the park, determined not to show up there again if she could help it. There were plenty of other nice places in the world to spend her time where she wouldn’t have to be on high alert.
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“Jason! We’re supposed to be helping with the haunted house!” Lazari whined. The Toymaker in question looked up from his plate of fettucine alfredo as he slurped up the last of the noodle in his mouth.
“There’s enough people to handle it right now without us. Besides, I told you I’d need snack breaks if I came out to help for the whole night.” He shrugged and started to get another bite on his fork as Lazari pouted.
“A full plate of pasta is a meal, not a snack,” she stuck her tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes. He shoved his mouth full of pasta to the point that he looked somewhat like a chipmunk and Lazari gave up trying to get him to come help before he finished his food.
Instead, she walked off on her own. She circled the little church, happy to see people from the community having a good time. She walked over to a little table surrounded by balloons and set up with bowls of candy where Father Daniel was talking with one of the local families. They finished their chat and parted ways with a call of, ‘Happy Halloween!’ to one another, and Lazari took the opportunity to sneak up behind the priest and startle him with a loud yell.
“Oh, Lazari, please don’t do that. You know I’m just an old man and a heart attack isn’t how I’d like to go.” He told her.
“Sorry, Father,” Lazari giggled. “I tried to get Jason to come back to the haunted house with me, but he’s busy eating.”
“He likes sugar that much, huh? We’ll have to be sure he leaves enough candy for the kids.” the priest joked.
“No, he’s eating pasta, not candy.” Lazari smiled.
“Pasta? Where’d he get pasta at this hour?”
“He probably brought it from his workshop,” the little demon girl shrugged. She looked away toward the tree line and her smile dropped. She found herself looking straight at a certain someone she didn’t want to see here. Even if he wasn’t so much the ‘bad guy’, when the Slenderman showed up somewhere it usually wasn’t good news. The entity seemed to be watching her, and she got the sense that she was the one he was here to see.
Whether that was an accurate assumption or not, she decided to find out what he wanted. The sooner he had what he was after, the sooner he’d go away. She excused herself quickly and made her way toward the trees. The Slenderman was no longer in sight, but she knew he didn’t just leave. She walked out of sight from the church, deeper into the foliage. She found herself in a very small clearing.
“You know it’s easier to talk to people when you’re not playing hide-and-seek,” Lazari called out when she was sure she was out of earshot from the humans. Nothing. Lazari crossed her arms and huffed in that pouty child way. She turned when she heard twigs snapping behind her and saw Father Daniel stepping into the space.
“Lazari, who are you looking for?�� the old man asked. Lazari opened her mouth to answer just as she caught sight of a tall figure standing behind him. She ran over, and suddenly the world shifted around her.
She felt dizzy. The world was spinning so fast it took her several tries to open her eyes properly. She heard someone call her name, and turned her attention to the sound. It was Father Daniel, looking somewhat motion-sick. She heard a popping sound behind her, and turned to see a warm fireplace surrounded by several large, comfy chairs. She saw books everywhere despite how dimly lit the large room was, and despite never having been here before and not even knowing how or why she was here now Lazari didn’t feel alarmed or unsafe.
“Where are we?” Father Daniel asked as he shakily got to his feet.
“I don’t know.” Lazari answered.
“This place has many names,” a deep voice rang out in the room, “though the one you’re most familiar with is probably ‘purgatory’.” The voice sounded like it was everywhere, but they found the source when they saw movement over by the fire. Father Daniel gripped the cross around his neck and began to mumble prayers with his eyes open wide and focused on the large demon before them. Standing at full height, the beast was at least three or four times his size, with pitch black skin and mouths all over its body that seemed to glow red from within. It laughed at him.
“Your prayers have no power over me, nor would they affect anything else in this place,” Zalgo grinned, “Thankfully, you don’t need them tonight anyway.” Father Daniel stared at the creature, shocked into silence now. He hadn’t expected to ever come face-to-face with the Devil himself…and in purgatory, no less…
“What do you want?” The priest’s request came out quiet and meek, but that was still much more confident than he felt.
“With you,” Zalgo started, “Nothing. I don’t know why you were brought here, honestly. I needed to speak with her.” He gestured to Lazari, who until that point had seemed to be frozen. Not with fear, but with curiosity. Zalgo’s taunting grin softened as he looked to the little one.
“Welcome. I’ve been waiting so long to finally meet you, my daughter.” Lazari tilted her head as she looked him over. Daughter? She hadn’t been called that by anyone for a while. She vaguely recalled meeting Zalgo in a dream once, but the fact that he was her father hadn’t really set in all the way…until now. She didn’t answer him and must have stood there in her thoughts for longer than it felt to her, because his smile started to wane.
“Does my appearance frighten you, little one? You’ve spent most of your life around humans, so I suppose that isn’t odd.” Zalgo stepped forward, and as he did so his body seemed to melt away into the shadows until all that was left was a man. Zalgo’s human-ish form was still unnaturally tall, but only by a foot or so. He looked normal enough, save for the red eyes and black horns in his head. He stepped closer to Lazari, and Father Daniel got in the way as if meaning to protect her.
Something dark swirled in the demon’s eyes as he addressed the priest.
“You think stepping between a mother bear and her cub is dangerous, but I assure you the risks involved with that are nothing compared to what you’re doing right now. Stand aside – I only get to see her tonight, and I will not have you wasting the little time we have.” Zalgo’s threat obviously terrified the man, but he refused to move. Before anything could happen as a result, Lazari stepped around her long-time friend and approached her father.
“Why now?” She asked. He didn’t seem to comprehend the question, so she elaborated, “Why not sooner? Do you know what she did to me? Do you know what’s happened to me because I’m not human? Why did you let it happen? Why didn’t you come get me?” The questions left Lazari’s lips in a desperate hurry, and it almost seemed that she wasn’t registering what she was asking. Zalgo sighed and reached for her, taking her in his arms and holding her to his chest. She didn’t fight him.
“I can’t go to the living world, that’s why we’re meeting here. I know what she did, and I had no way to stop it because I couldn’t reach you. I do know what happened to you in the living world; I couldn’t come to you, but I could keep an eye on you. If I could have prevented it, I would have – I didn’t allow it to happen intentionally. I didn’t come get you because I couldn’t go where you were, but I’ve been trying for years to contact you in ways I’m capable of…it just never worked.” He answered each of her questions quickly as he cradled her small body to himself.
“Even if I could have reached you, the only way we could have stayed together is if you were to die and enter my domain on the other side. I would never intentionally abandon you, my little one…I didn’t have another option to work with. I’m sorry.” His voice was soothing, comforting, remorseful. Things Father Daniel would have never expected from a demonic entity, least of all the King of Hell himself.
Lazari sniffled quietly, but offered no response. There were memories now, dark memories of her childhood with her hateful mother worming their way up from the back of her mind. She didn’t want to remember. She had no choice. Zalgo continued to hold her and say reassuring things, but she didn’t really hear what was being said.
“Look at me, Lazari,” he mumbled as he tilted her head up. Their eyes met, and with that, Zalgo was finally able to establish a mental connection with his child. He pressed his forehead to hers affectionately as he did what he could to dissipate the hurtful thoughts and feelings in her head. “I’m here now, little one. I’m here.”
She relaxed and wiped her eyes, feeling better but still not quite herself. Zalgo moved back to his chair and sat down again with Lazari in his lap. He motioned for Father Daniel to sit in the one across from them, but didn’t intend to force it if the man preferred to keep his distance. It made no difference to Zalgo what the priest did; he just wanted to spend time with his child for as long as he could.
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In another part of the world, a certain blue-masked man stalked around through backyards, climbing over fences in search of something to do…or, more specifically, someone to eat. He was hungry, had been so busy lately he hadn’t managed to keep proper track of his food stores, and now was out of preserved organs when he needed them most. At least the current holiday allowed him to wander without catching too much attention. He still had to remain mostly out of sight, but if someone caught a glimpse of him it wouldn’t be too much of a problem.
Jack climbed up to the top of the next fence in his path and perched on top of the thin wooden slats. There were people in the next yard, but thankfully a nicely placed tree kept him out of their view. They seemed to be having a little party, but strangely there wasn’t any music. Jack felt his stomach twisting with hunger and decided to move on and get what he needed; though he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off here.
Most of the fence was in shadow, and the majority of the people weren’t facing his direction anyway. Jack figured he just had to move slowly and carefully to the other side. He started on his way, keeping his attention toward the people. He reached his hand out to take another step and ended up nearly losing his balance when his hand grasped air at a gap in the fence instead of another piece of wood. He managed to stabilize himself until he heard a shout.
“What the fuck is that?!” Jack tensed and risked a glance at the people. They were facing the opposite direction. Jack looked where they were looking and spotted a familiar face…er, muzzle. Smile Dog was in his larger form, tiptoeing across the fence tops the same way Jack was. The canine seemed to notice the attention on himself and stopped to look at his audience with his terrifying fanged grin. The hellhound’s tail wagged a little and he jumped down into the yard and began to approach the group. The people didn’t take that well, of course; they backed away, yelled, looked for weapons.
Smile stopped going toward them and whined, tilting his head to the side. He hadn’t done anything wrong here, had he? Jack watched the scene through his altered senses. He didn’t like this. Smile barked and wagged his tail again as if trying to convince them he was friendly…but why? Jack knew Smile wasn’t one to approach humans like that, and certainly not in that form; he really only liked Jeff.
The guys in yard kept watch on the dangerous-looking creature in their midst, and Jack noticed too late that they had gradually moved to surround the canine. The two in front worked to distract Smile, the two on the sides closed in; Smile backed up into the last three who threw a thick chain around his neck and he let out a strangled bark as they tightened it. It was like they’d done this before.
They yelled to each other while they tugged at the chain to make Smile go where they wanted. The red Malamute struggled against them, whining and pulling against the bonds. Jack growled, preparing to step in as he saw them bring a cage out to the yard. The cage was large, but certainly not large enough to accommodate what they’d captured.
Jack dropped silently into the yard, unnoticed thanks to the fight Smile was putting up. They opened the cage door as he got closer, and Smile stopped struggling and sat on the grass. They tried to tug him into the cage, but he didn’t budge at all. Jack stopped as Smile started to laugh.
It was an eerie, bone-chilling sound that didn’t belong in a dog’s vocal cords, and the sound seemed to help the humans realize just how badly they’d fucked up here. Smile’s grin seemed to grow wider as he stood and shook himself. He stretched, then suddenly bolted off at full speed toward the other side of the yard, dragging the guys holding onto the chain hard against the rocks before making a sharp turn that slammed them into the wooden fence.
They let go of the chain as they collided with the hard surface, except one who yelled about being determined to make Smile his ‘champion fighter’. Oh, so that was it. Jack understood now; these guys were illegal dog fighters and had become Smile’s targets. That made a lot more sense. He figured there was no need to step in here, but he decided to stick around and enjoy the show in hopes that he could use some of the remains for his supper that night.
The demonic medic watched them try to run, watched Smile toy with them until he was finally ready to go in for the kill. In the end, only one remained. Smile pinned him on his stomach and held his head down with a single massive paw. He moved his head down to his target’s, and bit off half his ear with a disturbing tearing sound…then did the same with the other ear. The man, to his credit, didn’t cry…but he did yell at a decent enough volume.
“What’s wrong? You want to look tougher, don’t you?” Smile taunted him. The large canine speaking clear English in that creepy voice was the straw that broke the camel’s back, it seemed; he started to struggle harder and beg for his life to be spared. Smile bit into the back of his throat firmly, but not enough so to break skin. He lifted his target that way and carried him off toward the house.
Jack followed them around the side to a storm cellar. Smile broke open the door with ease and carried him down. The man was set on the floor in the middle of the cellar which had at least ten cages in it, each containing a depressed-looking, scarred dog.
“Let them out,” Smile ordered. The man started looking furiously around the basement, possibly for a weapon. Smile growled low in his throat, but the man still wouldn’t do it. Jack stepped into the cellar.
“Can I help?” he asked the hellhound. Of course, Smile wasn’t surprised at all – he’d known Jack was there since the beginning. He asked Jack to unlock the cages. Jack went to each one, pulling off locks and opening doors. He reminded Smile of Jeff on a raid as he went along. Soon all the dogs were out, and Smile led them in a frenzied attack against their former tormentor.
While the man was torn apart by dogs, Jack headed back up to the backyard with Smile’s permission to eat from the other corpses.
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“He just shouted ‘yeet’ and kicked me out,” Jeff was telling Liu, “Not even a push, he legit kicked my back.”
“Seriously? No warning or anything?” The elder Woods brother asked. Jeff shook his head.
“I’m lucky I didn’t pass out on the way down – I know I wouldn’t die from that kind of fall, but I’d still rather drift down on a parachute.” Liu chuckled a little. Jeff had apparently gone skydiving for the first time with BEN the day before, and Liu couldn’t say he was surprised at the poltergeist’s methods of coaxing his brother out of the plane considering all he knew about BEN.
Jeff took another drink of soda and popped a piece of dark chocolate into his mouth while he kept his gaze focused out on the hills. He and Liu had decided to meet at a condemned old farmhouse this year. It fit the spooky vibe of the holiday, they were unlikely to be disturbed given the dangerous reputation of the building’s construction, and they had a decent view. Well, Liu did anyway. Jeff’s vision certainly hadn’t improved over the years.
“Was it fun, though?” Liu asked.
“Kinda. It was a decent experience, but not as fun as I’d hoped. It might be more enjoyable for people who can actually see the world below them while they fall.” Jeff responded before taking another swig of his drink. He wasn’t usually a soda guy, but tonight was a special occasion. They fell into silence again for a moment.
“Do you ever get the feeling that something important is about to happen?” Liu asked randomly to break the silence.
“I guess,” Jeff shrugged. “I don’t really believe in superstitions.”
“I feel like something special will happen tonight. I don’t know what, but it’s going to be a major thing that makes a big change.” Liu said.
“I guess we’ll see if you’re right soon. If it’s a big change, we’re all gonna know about it by the day after tomorrow at the latest.”
“Yeah.” Liu agreed. The Brothers Woods sat in comfortable silence for a while longer, just enjoying each other’s company while they were able. As soon as dawn came, Sully would consider the annual treaty over and go back to trying to kill Jeff.
For now, they could pretend that they didn’t need to worry about that. For now, they were brothers again…at least until sunrise.
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He jogged through the Dark Wood at a decent pace – not too slow, not too fast. He didn’t want them to catch up to him just yet, but he didn’t want to lose them, either. He was surprised they had come after him so willingly despite the circumstances…most would be terrified to follow an unidentified masked man to an unfamiliar place secluded in the woods, especially on Halloween night. Especially considering the way he’d caught their attention in the first place.
He was almost there. He checked back to be sure they were still following, and thankfully they were. He lead them out of the Dark Wood, into a regular forest in the human world. He doubted they saw the changes in the trees at all as they went forward. His destination was in sight; he burst into the clearing and stopped by the shovel he had stabbed into the ground roughly a half-hour earlier when he was done digging.
His pursuers were there mere seconds later. They stopped toward the edge of the clearing, panting heavily from the sudden physical exertion they clearly weren’t used to like he was. There were three of them: two men, one with dark brown hair and brown eyes and the other with slightly longer, messier, and lighter hair; and a woman with long brown hair similar in color to the second man, and bright green eyes. All looked to be somewhere in their mid to late forties.
Masky watched them take stock of their surroundings; the woman and the first man looked confused and worried, but Masky saw a quick flair of recognition in the second man’s eyes. He remembered this place, and he remembered what he did here. His two companions were unaware of why they had been lead here, but he knew. That sick bastard knew his secret was going to be exposed and the proxy could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to think of a way to save his own hide.
Without a word, Masky lifted his hand out in front of him, a glint of metal hanging from his fingers catching the light of the full moon above them. He held it above the open pit next to him that he’d spent so long digging and organizing earlier. The woman covered her mouth with one hand in attempt to hold back tears as she broke away from those she’d come with and approached the wide hole.
She got to the edge of it despite the others trying to hold her back while she kept a wary eye on the proxy. He didn’t move, and she took a deep breath as she looked down into the hole. She collapsed to her knees as her eyes focused on what was there.
The pale bones were old and stained a tan-ish yellow by the dirt they’d been buried under for so long, arranged neatly in the shape of a skeleton on top of a grey tarp. They were clearly that of a young child, though no indications of the child’s exact identity were present…they didn’t need to be.
Mrs. Williams wept as she recognized the remains of her daughter who had been missing from her life for so long. Masky remained silent as the woman grieved, but offered her the piece of jewelry he had. The small necklace was dirty, having been buried with the bones so long, but the chain had held. She unwrapped it from its loose grip on the proxy’s fingers and held it to her chest. It was the final confirmation of what she already knew. It was Sally’s necklace, the one she always wore, the one that was around her neck the night she disappeared.
There were so many questions she wanted to ask this man, but she couldn’t get them out through her tears. She had always had a small, naïve hope that Sally would be found alive, and now that hope was gone. At the same time, there was a feeling of closure, an end to the morbid uncertainty. She felt so many emotions that she couldn’t quite sort out, and any attempts she made at speech came out in strangled, unintelligible sobs.
Her husband was by her side in an instant, holding her for comfort…but his eyes remained glued on the remains of his daughter. The proxy reached down into the hole and grabbed the edges of the tarp with hands that shook ever so slightly. He pulled the tarp around the bones and tied the top loosely like a bag before offering that to couple as well, and he finally spoke.
“She’s been here too long…she needs to go home.” He spoke quietly. Mrs. Williams wasted no time in taking the bag from him, holding it to her chest as she had the necklace, cradling what was left of her little one. The tears that rolled down her face fell onto the rough fabric and soaked through while Masky turned and ran full-speed at her brother…Sally’s killer.
He realized what was happening too late, and was tackled shortly after he turned to run. Masky tackled him to the ground, hard, and they both went rolling into the bushes out of sight of the clearing. Mr. Williams saw it happen and was torn between wanting to help and needing to stay with his wife. There was a yell from the bushes, followed by a wet cracking sound, then another…then another.
Maybe it was having her death avenged. Maybe it was having her remains fully unearthed. Maybe it was the feeling of her mother’s tears against her bones. Whatever the reason, Sally couldn’t ignore the harsh tugs pulling her spirit back to the site where she’d been buried anymore. Her soul, still dressed as the Queen of Hearts, appeared next to the open pit.
They were older now, much older than she remembered from the last time she saw them, but Sally recognized her parents’ faces. They didn’t notice her at first, as she stood there silently with Charlie gripped tightly to her chest. She didn’t know what to do, what to say. She never thought this would happen.
“Please don’t cry, Mommy.” The quiet words were hypocritical considering the tears that had started to fall from her own eyes. Mrs. Williams almost fell into the pit trying to reach her. Sally moved to stand in front of them, and the couple embraced their child for the last time.
“It’s okay…Masky took great care of me.” Sally assured her brokenhearted parents as they held her tightly and cried, perhaps in some misguided attempt to keep her with them. Said proxy was watching from just outside the clearing with blood staining both his coat and the rock in his hand. He didn’t want to interrupt their reunion, though he felt warm rivulets of saltwater tracing lines down his cheeks beneath his mask.
“I…I have to go now…can you take me back to the park down the street that we always went to? The one with the green slide?” Sally asked hopefully with a hand on the folded tarp in her mother’s lap as she started to fade away. Her parents made their promises and struggled to hold on, but two humans can’t fight the natural order of things. Their daughter smiled at them as she disappeared into the ether, her final words taking on a faint, echo-like quality.
“I love you.” Then, she was gone. Her parents stayed for a while, her father silent and her mother quietly weeping. The mourning parents eventually got to their feet, Mrs. Williams keeping an iron grip on precious cargo in her arms. They passed Masky on their way out of the clearing, and Mr. Williams gave him a small, knowing nod of thanks that the proxy returned. They didn’t ask about Sally’s killer. Nobody explained it to them, but somehow through the context of the events that had just occurred, they knew what had happened.
Once they were gone out of sight and earshot, Masky turned back to the pit. He placed the bloodied stone in it and picked up the shovel. It didn’t take him long to fill in the hole, symbolically burying the past where it belonged.
“Thank you.” He turned to see Sally standing behind him, her face set in a melancholy expression. She hadn’t actually moved on, after all – she just knew it would be easier on her family if they thought she had. At least now she would get a proper funeral, and her soul would no longer be restricted to this little, isolated area in the woods. Masky dropped the shovel and approached her.
“Are you alright?” He asked quietly. She didn’t answer with words. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his stomach. She mumbled something, but he couldn’t understand. He held the ghost child he’d come to see as his younger sister as the faintest light began to make its way into the sky. They stayed like that for a while, and when she finally pulled away, he invited her to come stay with him at the cabin, at least until she knew what she wanted to do and where she wanted to go from here.
Sally accepted, and they walked off toward the Dark Wood together as the sun began to rise on a new day, shining with her new-found freedom.
//Sally can finally wander, y’all! She’s free from her area restriction! Masky’s a hero, and that is a hill I am willing to die on!//
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I recently attended a Washington-D.C. event focused on community-building hosted by The Aspen Institute’s Weave project, which works to reduce social isolation and build bonds between Americans. During one portion of the event, various activists described how racism had impacted their lives and their communities. Following a number of such testimonials, a white woman from southeast Ohio named Sarah Adkins spoke about her own community work, which involves raising money to provide post-trauma support to individuals affected by tragedies.
Perhaps because several speakers had discussed racism and issues related to white privilege, Adkins spoke about her own self-perceived racial privilege. “I followed the perfect mold…I did all the things, I went to college, and I keep thinking of white privilege in my head so forgive me, that’s what’s in my head right now, very much white privilege,” she said, while reflecting on her middle class life in an affluent neighborhood.
But Adkins also went on to describe the reason she originally had become involved in community work—which is that her then-husband had killed both of her sons and then later took his own life. One can only imagine how much suffering this caused her. Yet she still viewed herself as privileged due to her race.
“I was wealthy, okay, I was a pharmacist, I made a lot of money, right? So after that happened, I really wanted to understand that for me there definitely was a lot of white privilege. I had money, I had health insurance, so people came in and cleaned up my house. I was able to pay for a funeral for my children,” she said.
I wondered how someone who’d lived through such an awful tragedy could consider themselves to be in any way “privileged.” Yes, she had the funding to clean up her home and bury her relatives. But nearly everybody has at least some advantages in life. It feels perverse for someone who has suffered so much to be confessing their perceived advantages.
When activists and academics invoke the phrase “white privilege,” they typically are speaking of advantages that whites, on average, have over members of other ethnic minority groups in our society. And there is no doubt that racial inequality is both real and persistent in the United States, where I live, and elsewhere. There is a sizable racial wealth gap, a life expectancy gap, and an incarceration gap. Many of America’s most pressing social problems disproportionately harm people from minority groups.
But there is a danger that, by talking about this inequality as an all-consuming phenomenon, we will end up creating a flattened and unfair image that portrays all whites in all situations and all contexts as benefiting from unearned advantages. Indeed, it’s possible that we will cause people to confuse a structural inequality that exists on the level of group average with the circumstances of every individual within a particular racial group.
In the case of Adkins’s tragic story, it’s not even clear that being white in any way constituted a form of privilege. Recent research has found a huge surge in white working-class suicides. In 2017, whites in the United States had a suicide rate of 17.8 per 100,000; for Hispanics, that rate was 6.9; for African-Americans, it was 6.9. The only group with a higher suicide rate than whites was Native Americans, at 22.2.
The phenomenon of suicide is not perfectly understood, but it is generally believed that loneliness and alienation are driving factors. Whites in America tend (on average) to be more culturally individualistic, while those from other groups tend (again, on average) to exhibit more collectivist social values. The group of which I am part, Asian-Americans, would be “privileged” on this index, since our rate (6.6) is well below that of whites. But would it really be wise for me to tackle the social problem of suicide by zooming in on some idea of “Asian privilege?”
In fact, research recently published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology suggests that such an approach wouldn’t just be unhelpful. It would actually be harmful.
I recently interviewed Erin Cooley, a psychology professor and lead researcher at Colgate University, about her research for Greater Good magazine. She studies prejudice and structural inequality and her research has illuminated the ways in which persistent racism continues to negatively impact the lives of racial minorities in America. A study she recently published, for instance, shows how participants were more likely to associate poverty with blacks as opposed to whites. Her team found that this association helps predict opposition toward policies that involve economic redistribution, since it is widely believed that these policies benefit blacks over whites.
Her team was curious about the impact of teaching people about white privilege. Would it make people more sympathetic toward poor blacks? As part of their research, Cooley and her colleagues offered study participants a reading on white privilege—based partly on the seminal work of Peggy McIntosh, who originally formulated the concept in the 1980s—and then described to them the plight of a hypothetical man, identified as either white or black, who is down on his luck.
What the researchers found is that among social liberals—i.e., participants who had indicated that they hold liberal beliefs about social issues—reading a text about white privilege did nothing to significantly increase their sympathy toward the plight of poor blacks. But, as Cooley told me, “it did significantly bump down their sympathy for a [hypothetical] poor white person.” (Among conservative participants, there was observed no significant change in attitudes at all.)
What accounts for this? One possibility is that social liberals are internalizing white-privilege lessons in a way that flattens the image of whites, portraying all of them as inherently privileged. So if a white person is poor, it must be his or her own fault. After all, they’ve had all sorts of advantages in life that others haven’t.
When we talk about racial inequality, it is important to understand that we’re often talking about structural or society-wide averages, not the status of all individuals at all times. It is true, for instance, that African Americans are disproportionately impacted by poverty. That means a higher percentage of African Americans live in poverty as compared to whites. But the largest number of individuals in the United States who live in poverty are white. We can’t, and we shouldn’t, assume anything about any individual’s life solely based on his or her race, or based on larger facts about racial inequality.
Racism exists, of course, and its impact is disproportionately felt by society’s minority populations. I have personally spent a decent chunk of my reporting career documenting this. But the fact that disparate treatment is inflicted on racial minorities doesn’t prove the existence of an all-encompassing pattern of white privilege. “If you’re white, chances are seeing a police officer fills you with one of two things: relief or gratitude,” writes one advocate of a privilege-centric worldview. But around half of the people who are killed every year by U.S. police officers are white. True, police violence falls disproportionately on ethnic minorities, especially African Americans. But if you’re white and you’ve been abused by a police officer, your individual experience may be just as painful as that of a black person who’s suffered similar abuse.
If we extend the logic of privilege beyond the issue of race, it’s easy to see the flaws with this approach. We know, for instance, that 93 percent of people in U.S. federal prisons are men. In nearly every part of the criminal justice system, in fact, men on average have it worse than women do. But does that then mean we should be discussing “female privilege”? Would it be beneficial to the men behind bars for women to proclaim awareness of their “privileged” status?
A typical conservative response to privilege discourse is to downplay the very real inequalities that exist. This isn’t helpful. We can’t escape talking about inequality in a diverse society. For instance, we shouldn’t shy away from looking at high maternal mortality rates among black women and how it may be linked to inadequate cultural competence among medical staff. However, what I would suggest is that we change the way we talk about this inequality. Asking whites to publicly confess their white privilege—in a manner that often resembles a religious ritual more than anything else—may lead us to unfairly flatten the experience of whites while, ironically, actually shifting attention away from those who are underprivileged. The Cooley study shows that this isn’t just a hypothetical concern; it’s a reality that has been demonstrated through research.
One alternative to white-privilege discourse would be to focus on the causes and consequences of deprivation rather than on naming groups of people we believe to hold special advantages—and to stop referring to things that we should expect for all people as “privileges.” It is not a privilege to have a decent and safe childbirth, or avoid harassment by the police, or to have enough to eat. All of those things should be something we expect. While we can and should aggressively address inequality, we should make sure the methods we employ serve to strengthen our sense of empathy rather than sap it.
#social science#social justice#racism#critical race theory#equity#affirmative action#equality#anti-racism#article#faq
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Weird anime night ~Please teacher
Okay guys, I know I’ve been out of this whole anime discussing thing for a bit. Been in my own little world of building gundam models, watching ASMR videos and doing my tech support job, also got into buying stocks….the quarantine has been weird. I haven’t really left the house save to go to meijers to get groceries for 4 months now……kinda starting to lose touch with reality. To try and ground myself I have been revisiting things from when I was a teenager, rewatching old tv shows, reading old books….started with gundam 08th ms team, and Red Mars, and lo and behold I fell back in love with my old flame��ROMANCE ANIMES
long time readers of weird anime night will know that this is a thing that happens to me off and on. Highschool romance shows just vibe with me in a real way, I have been dating the same girl since I was 13, and I am 29 now, and we live together, so learning how to love while learning what love is, and learning about girls while also learning how to love one girl, man romance anime have that shit in spades….and it makes me feel really nostalgic, for things like first kisses, sneaking out after hours, being nervous with someone you will later be intimate with. I love it man, that shit DOES. IT. FOR. ME
so while revisiting my favorite romance anime of all time, Suzuka, I remembered about one I hadn’t watched since 2006, Please Teacher.
AND DUDES
THIS SHOWS FUCKING WEIRD
I remember it being pretty run of the mill, comedy romance story about a kid who bangs his teacher…..and like, yea on the surface that is what it is, but like…..spesh if you incorporate the second season into it, its sort of about ALL love….even some kinda eh….troubling kinds of love, like in season 2 a dude straight up wants to plow is like……kid sister, and that is…..well fucking disgusting, I know its like a THING in japan to want to bone your parents and siblings, because well……some sort of mass mental delusions or something…..but like, its there….its gross as fuck but its there….
The rest of the show is fun though, still pretty problematic, I guess it was less gross to me when I was 16, but as a 29 year old….yea a teacher wanting to bone her 15 year old student is pretty gosh darn awful......I mean she’s also like...an Alien.....but he’s still 15 years old and she is a dang adult
heres the wiki plot summary of season 1, warning spoilers ahead.
Please Teacher! is a story mainly revolving around a tight-knit group of friends in high school and how they cope with several life-changing events that are never too far off from intimate relationships. The main character is a boy named Kei Kusanagi who suffers from a very rare disease which causes a comatose state referred to as a "standstill" whenever he is under severe emotional distress.
Before the beginning of the story, Kei, at 15 years of age, had fallen into a "standstill" lasting three years after witnessing the suicide of his elder sister. After recovering, he quietly moved away from home in order to avoid social difficulty due to his long absence, and began living with his uncle, a medical doctor, and aunt. Due to the strange nature of how he came to live there, Kei wanted to keep the situation a secret from his new friends for fear of being ostracized as being too old to associate with them. After Kei had established himself in his new surroundings and had entered into a close group of mutually supportive friends, a Galactic Federation starship had entered Earth's atmosphere stealthily, approached Honshū Island and landed surreptitiously in Lake Kizaki.
The story begins with Kei suffering a minor 'standstill' while in the vicinity of the lake, witnessing several unexplainable phenomena happening there, and then watching as a beautiful half-human alien named Mizuho Kazami materialize beside the shore. Kazami was sent to observe planet Earth by a seemingly benevolent Galactic Federation in order to prevent humans from making developmental mistakes. Kei, upon observing the materialization, attempts to escape the pursuing Kazami. Kazami is under strict orders to prevent her true identity and mission from being discovered. During his attempt to escape, Kei falls into the lake. Kazami rescues Kei and, using information from his identification, is able to return him home in secret. The next day, Kazami has become Kei's new homeroom teacher and next-door neighbor.
During assisting her in moving in, Kei suffers another standstill, and while in a weakened state explains his predicament to the compassionate Mizuho, who ends up revealing her own origins and purpose on Earth. Several accidental activations of Mizuho's teleport technology (which were inadvertently caused by Kei) eventually place Kei and Mizuho in a couple of compromising situations in front of his uncle and aunt and his school's headmaster, but Kei protects Mizuho from charges for an inappropriate relationship between student and teacher by impulsively stating that they are married, resulting in an actual civil marriage that later blossoms into genuine affection for each other. The headmaster relents, partly because he, too, had married a former student younger than himself and can understand their situation personally. Both are allowed to stay so long as they do not reveal their status to the other students, and do not engage in any public displays of affection.
The remainder of the series concerns the budding intimate relationships between the close friends, one of whom (Koishi Herikawa) is romantically interested in Kei, and another (Ichigo Morino) who has suffered even greater loss of time from the same disease as he has; the problems of having to maintain the secrecy of the marriage; an interfering parent and sibling visiting from the Galaxy Federation; and Kei learning to overcome the ever-present threat of another lengthy 'standstill' stealing more of his life, particularly as he has fallen deeply in love with Mizuho and desperately wants to remain with her.
Eventually Kei falls into another major "standstill" and in order to bring him out of it, Mizuho has to use her technology which is against the law. As a result, her status on Earth is revoked, she is banned from the planet and all memory of her is erased from everyone's, including Kei's, minds. With the help of her mother and sister she sneaks back and is devastated to learn that Kei, who she is deeply in love with, has no memory of her. While helping her move back in, Kei reveals that his memory has returned and the two express their love for each other and get married again.
I am rewatching it, its nostalgic, not as nostalgic as Suzuka or School Rumble, which are my number 1 and also number 1 favorite romance anime. But it’s also not as problematic as like, Rumbling Hearts or School days.
I am happy to have this tumblr back in my life, it’s helping with the depression, I think that’s why I started it in the first place….the American Education System was surprisingly good at both causing depression and training me to help people cope with depression.
I love you guys, I will start doing one of these every week, and I really am thinking about doing a sort of short podcast on all the series I have done thus far, like a 30 minute episode or so discussing the stories, rating them etc. I really like the idea of doing a podcast, just takes a long time to make em, I’ve been trying to do a D20 or Cyberpunk real play podcast for like 2 years now, and still just in the editing process of it.
blah blah blah, TLDR
this shows weird, fun and heart warming at times, but it is about a teacher who fucks her student, and like YES she is half alien.....but…..she is also a pedophile, that didn’t really stick with me when I was 16, but it does now….so it is harder to watch then I remember.
6.5/10
~Hoover ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
please teacher update
maybe I wasnt watching the show closely enough but I guess he isnt 15? I got the impression he was like early highschool, but watched some more tonight and I guess hes 18 during the course of the show.....so she isnt a pedophile, but she is boning her student, and she is a space alien so there are still some not good implications there power dynamics wise.....but lets just say maybe I was too hard on Please Teacher 7.5/10
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THE ROOTS OF THE OTHER HALF OF
I know are professors, but it turned out I was 450 years too late. The reason Cambridge is the intellectual capital of the world. Though the situation is better in the sciences, the overlap between the kind of people you don't even get paid a lot. Craigslist has largely destroyed the classified ad sites of the 90s, and OkCupid looks likely to do the same to the previous generation would have considered wasteful. Partly because some companies use mechanisms to prevent copying. When we cook one up we're not always 100% sure which kind it is. And yes, as you suspect, the college admissions process is largely a charade. Of course he wouldn't program in machine language. The mere existence of prep schools is proof of that. This is probably what Eric Raymond meant about Lisp making you a better programmer for the rest of the programmers will tend to use whatever language they happen to use, because it requires a deliberate choice. And not just in its beautiful lines: it was at the time.
But it's not straightforward to find these, because there is a contradiction in the conventional wisdom: Lisp will make you a better writer in languages you do want to use it. Great questions don't appear suddenly. I don't think they were traumatized by the experience. Alexander Calder Calder's on this list. Jessica Livingston, Matz, Jackie McDonough, Robert Morris, Eric Raymond describes Lisp as something like Latin or Greek—a Neanderthal language. Is it worth trying to decompose them. What was novel about this software was that it seemed insanely risky. All you need to do this if we want to solve with computers are created by computers; for example, seems to be merging with the descendants of Algol. It would be a lot of money, or getting customers. In retrospect that seems ridiculous, and we soon dropped the pretense. If I thought that I could keep up current rates of spam filtering, I think the answers to these questions can be found by looking at hackers, and a third was acquired that we can't figure out how to improve it?
In fact, you probably shouldn't even go to work. If you take a boring job to give your family a high standard of living, as so many people do, you can always make money from. If they saw that, they'd want you to visit. If you're a founder, you're buying stock with work: the reason Larry and Sergey were meek little research assistants, obediently doing their advisors' bidding. If not, you're in trouble. The most important part of the job; but it does tend to make filtering easier, because you'd only have to filter email from people you'd never heard from, or about, a startup meant a company headed by an MBA that was blowing through several million dollars of VC money to get big fast in the most literal sense: someone who can make a computer do what he wants—whether the computer wants to or not. They gave it a name that was a joking reference to Multics: Unix. The individual tokens should be short as well. Get one. I'm told there's a lot of economic history, and I expect them to proliferate. Tim O'Reilly was wearing a suit, a sight so alien I couldn't parse it at first.
When you only have a few users you can support per processor. It is just as well that it usually takes a while to realize I just wasn't like the people there. Garbage collection, introduced by Lisp in the early 1970s, are now rich, at least subconsciously, based on the qualities of startup founders than anyone else ever has. Icio. Transaction processing seemed to them what e-commerce was all about. EBay didn't win by paying less for servers than their competitors. It's interesting that describe rates as so thoroughly innocent. If it didn't suck, they wouldn't have had to make it good for writing the kinds of programs they want to do most of the time, trying to convince him to invest in their portfolio companies. For the average user, all the news was bad.
But Wodehouse has something neither of them did. Jessica was its mom. On the whole, his advice is good. Little attention is paid to profiling now. Both took years to succeed. What a recipe for alienation. There may be room for tuning here, but as long as no one is doing them yet.
But this is certainly not so with work. Most people would say, I'd take that problem. If they saw that, they'd want you to be omniscient, but actually it's surprisingly easy. But you never have to type. Will the future ever catch up with it? It might be a good marketing trick to call it an improved version of Python. Empirically, the answer is no. The results so far are messy, but encouraging. It was the perfect quality to instill in startups. Alarms start to go off fairly quickly.
It happens naturally to anyone who does good work. Your life doesn't have to pay for might as well have sat in front of a TV all day, I'd feel like something was terribly wrong. In the second phase, you look at something like Reddit and think the founders were lucky. One of the things I've learned about making things that save money. I still don't find prefix math expressions natural. If Moore's Law continues to put out, they will be 74 quintillion 73,786,976,294,838,206,464 times faster. Civil liberties are not just an ornament, or a quaint American tradition. I also think that the more pain they caused the user, the more benefit it must be, if so few do.
9189189 localhost 0. And there is a good time to start a startup, if you took a nap in your office in a big company, this may not be easy. Just as you're getting settled, you're slammed back in your seat by the acceleration. Which is why people trying to sell you expensive things say it's an investment. It seemed such a novel idea to us that investors were too conservative here—that they wanted to fund professors, when really they should be funding grad students or even undergrads. We all had dinner together once a week, cooked for the first time. Then it struck me: this is practically a recipe for chaos, think about a soccer team. In the long term. It's odd that people still order electronic parts out of thick paper catalogs in 2007, there's a good chance anyone saying that about any particular job is mistaken. And so to protect themselves people say I can't do it half-heartedly. I don't mean trustworthy so much as a half. The organic route is more common.
#automatically generated text#Markov chains#Paul Graham#Python#Patrick Mooney#prep#things#bidding#half#reference#TV#ad#Craigslist#liberties#quality#answers#people#list
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