#Bruce Wayne is a disaster human as always

[momo-minomo]

Batfam Cooking/Eating Habits

I know that the fandom has, for some reason, settled on the idea that Alfred and Jason are the only Waynes that can cook and the rest are health disasters but honestly the comics doesn't really support that (with the exception of Bruce and maybe Cass lol) and I have serious doubts that Alfred would let ANY of his kids go through life without basic life skills. So based on comics and my own thoughts and feelings, here's how I figure everyone's kitchen skills would be.

Bruce: He follows a VERY strict diet to maintain his peak physical condition but will break it for special occasions or feeding his kids takeout on patrol. As for cooking, for the most part Bruce is an utter disaster in the kitchen. He's had Alfred by his side his entire life so most of the time his attempts at cooking went extremely badly, even if it was something as simple as a damn sandwich as Tim can attest to here:

After Alfred's death he does eventually learns to make a few specific, simple things really well like the omelette he made for Clark here. As you can see, though, he's still pretty helpless in the kitchen with anything beyond the very basics, even dishwashers lol

Dick: Our flippiest boy is not the hopeless cereal-addicted kitchen disaster that fandom assumes he is. In fact, Tim was surprised at how good Dick is with all the "domestic skills" like cleaning, laundry, and cooking. Dick has cooked multiple times in the comics, especially for dates or Tim. He is constantly trying to feed his baby brother in general so he's cooked him pasta and soup for sure and just showed up with takeout or donuts a bunch.

Jason: I love the headcanon that Jason is a foodie and a really good cook even though I admit there's not much evidence for it in the comics. No evidence against it, either. Jason definitely loves to eat good food and doesn't bother with a strict diet like Batman and he loves a good burger. Considering his past, though, I think it's very in character that he'd learn to cook really well from Alfred so he's always self-sufficient. Since I don't have any comic snapshots of him cooking, here's Jason's eternal love for burgers instead!

Tim: His relationship with food seems kind of complicated to me. Tim on his own will eat super healthy so he remains in top shape for the job. What we see him eating, though, are things like plain salads, kale chips, and scrambled egg whites. Considering his extremely active life he should be eating more protein and larger portions but he often leaves them unfinished. As a young Robin it didn't seem like he got fed much at home, either, since you see Dick trying to feed him at every opportunity and he was always hungry if Alfred or Dick offered to cook or buy food for him.

When Tim is with other people, the YJ crew, his friends, Dick, Spoiler, etc he's far more willing to eat. Dick pulls out donuts and Tim is rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Dick brought a thermos of soup on patrol for himself but immediately hands it to Tim when he shows up and Tim downs it. So my HC is that Tim will eat as a necessity but doesn't really like to do it by himself. He's a social eater. He'll spend an entire afternoon eating a boring but healthy meal because he has to but if a friend or sibling show up he'll happily eat a full meal with them and even junk food.

As for Tim and cooking, we actually know he can and is pretty good at it! In comics he's cooked with Dick, learned to make chicken soup with his stepmom Dana when Steph was sick. We also see in the comics that Tim has prepared a full breakfast spread for when Jason shows up to a pre-arranged meeting to ask for information. Jason asks if the waffles are Alfred's recipe (apparently Alfred's one culinary sin is paste-like waffles lol) and is happy to sit down and munch when Tim assures him they aren't. He's also made pancakes for Steph and the family after patrol, a father's day dinner for Bruce, and a cake for Bernard! So Tim is a really good cook that doesn't really bother for just himself much. He prefers to go all out cooking for other people.

Cass: I don't know as much about Cass as I do the others (I need to read her stuff soon!) but I know she has terrible table manners and likes to sneak into her siblings and close friends apartments to eat their food, use their showers, and sleep. She has her own place, but she much prefers the homes and food of her loved ones. She also apparently didn't even blink at Alfred breaking into her home to stock her shelves with food, do laundry, and clean lol. With this I figure Cass doesn't really cook at all and just does take out, easy to eat meals that can be eaten cold or microwaved, and mooching off her loved ones' cooking and pantries!

[officialbruciewayne]

Observations on Kryptonians:

Their Biology, Behavior and its Dynamic with Beauty

An anecdotal entry by Bruce T. Wayne, regarding his experiences with the Kryptonian People.

Over the course of the last century, Earth and Humanity has become aware that not only are we not alone in our universe- but that we are not alone on our world. At an undisclosed moment in our history, our homeworld became a refuge for the last children of Krypton, a world that was lost to unknown disaster.

Kryptonians are mysterious and alien, a recipe for rejection and prejudice on this planet. Not only this, but they have exceptional powers, which lure our worst impulses of greed and exploitation. We have not always treated them with kindness.

Despite our own lack of humanity, the most notable Kryptonians of our society continue to share their unique gifts and perspectives, choosing to help wherever they can.

As a Jewish man, and a Father, the legacy of the Kryptonian people, both in entrusting our world with their children, but with it, their future in the face of diaspora, humbles me.

I would like to offer my voice of support to our kin from beyond the stars. I have some personal experience with Kryptonians, and will attempt to demystify their habits and nature, to present them to you not as strangers from the skies, but as part of the infinite diversity of our world.

Not to be feared, not be used, but to be welcomed.

ברוכים הבאים לבית שלנו

Caveat on Kryptonian Powers

Most discussions of Kryptonian biology begin and typically conclude with a long list of the powers typical to Kryptonians. These powers are considerable, but are generally used to justify how they are treated. There is no value in me lingering on this much-speculated aspect of our Kryptonian kin.

Instead, I would like to discuss the lesser known traits that I have found to be personally charming.

Diurnalism and Sun-seeking

Kryptonians are naturally diurnal by nature, and are drawn to sunlight. When relaxed, they enjoy basking in our sun's warmth and when injured, or unwell, should rest in either natural sunlight, or be placed near a sunlamp.

Many Kryptonians display a tanned or dark-skinned complexion, which I found initially counterintuitive since it indicates protective melanin in Humans. In a Kryptonian, this coloration is actually indicative of stored solar radiation. In layman's terms, it's a sign of good health in your local Kryptonian.

(Art credit to @domnorian, please support the original work here, it is used here as an example)

Dentition and Diet

The intense demands of the Kryptonian body are supported by an incredibly high metabolism. Although they are primarily sustained by solar radiation, they can and do display a remarkable appetite. This energy is readily burned off by their bodies, so it should be considered offensive to shame or draw attention to how hungry a Kryptonian may appear to a Human.

Instead, attention should be paid to the variety of their diet. I have concerns that Kryptonian nutrition is not necessarily met by traditional human foods, and believe that supplements of various metals, sillica and crystalized minerals may be of great use to them. Further research is indicated, but consider they may not be fully satisfied.

This viewpoint is supported by the Kryptonian dentition, which features a diminutive but handsome set of fangs. As this is one of the more readily visible distinguishing features, some Kryptonians experience self-consciousness when smiling.

If it is of comfort to any Kryptonians reading this, Humans enjoy 'teefies' and like to remark upon the canine teeth of our companion cats and dogs. We find it 'cute'.

Ocular Notes

It has come to my attention that Kryptonian vision is more specialized for use during flight. It has great telescopic capacity, amongst its other various modes, but this can put them at a disadvantage in our society. Being so far-sighted, Kryptonians may struggle to read letters, smaller signs and newspapers without assistance.

If you see a Kryptonian puzzling over a piece of paper, and holding it at arms' length, any offers to help should be gently made. However, Kryptonians are notoriously friendly and inclined to offer help as much as receive it. You may well make a new best friend. In fact you probably will. Statistically.

A smaller note is that Kryptonian eyes- on account of the multiple facets to their vision -all appear to be a unique type of blue. This particular shade is potentially a generative emission of scattered sunlight, though it would require more detailed research and a far longer examination on my part to confirm.

They Purr

Yes, it is true. Kryptonians purr. It is a delight to listen to.

From my observations it seems readily triggered by the presence of children, or a desire to comfort others. As well as by their own contentment, whether physical, emotional and often both.

The frequency of the oscillations seem to differ between the two circumstances, supporting my current theory that this purring is both a form of communication, but separately resonant to encourage bone growth and soft tissue repair in the sick and injured.

Reproduction and Courtship

Having not conducted a relationship with a Kryptonian, I speak from a limited capacity of research. That said, to Humans looking to court Kryptonians, they appear to be receptive to forms of lip contact, and saliva exchange.

Further erogenous zones are speculative, but there is marked sensitivity along the length of the throat and just below the occipital bone.

Love

I put it to you that Kryptonians are not powerful - they are uniquely vulnerable. An endangered culture and people who have shown us compassion alone. They deserve our protection and understanding.

This is the only home they have ever known. They are not strangers from the stars, they are our friends sharing the same sunlight.

They love us. We should love them in return.

B.T.W

PS. @official-clark-kent I am no reporter, but I did enjoy trying my hand at a small thinkpiece. Perhaps we could go fishing sometime?

[noras-dc-shenanigans]

Adoption | Learn

“So let me get this straight.”

Danny stared at the group of vigilantes in front of him, a look of utter disbelief etched onto his face.

“Batman had a baby with Catwoman, she hid it from him, gave the baby up for adoption, and that baby is me. And you’re all here because Batman’s other ex also had a hidden pregnancy, but she’s a homicidal maniac who wants to make sure her son is the only blood child because of some weird cult rules?”

If they’d been in a cartoon, there’s be crickets chirping. He continued, voice growing less disbelieving and more angry as he went.

“And because some cult wants to kill me, I have to give up my whole life, cut off all contact with my family and friends, go live in a state 900 miles away, and stay cooped up— for an unknown amount of time— in Bruce Wayne’s mansion, because that’s who Batman really is.”

A stilted silence filled the room of the safe house Danny had been dragged to a few hours ago, sans the unnecessarily long explanation he’d just summarized.

After a few more moments, Nightwing stepped forward and smiled gently at him an oh, that rankled Danny. He did not need whatever kid gloves the guy was about to pull on. Before Bluebell had a chance to open his mouth, Danny channeled his inner Jazz and raised his hand for silence. Nightwing paused, and Danny proceeded to give them all a single, flat, unimpressed look, and then stated factually,

“I’m not leaving, I’m not staying with yet another frootloop billionaire, and I’m not in the least concerned with dying. So. You can all go back to where you belong, I’ll stay here, where I belong, and if any cultist come knocking I’ll deal with them just like I’ve been dealing with every other threat in this town the last six months: alone. Because apparently the entire Justice League is too busy to respond to calls for help about inter-dimensional threats popping in and out of my parents basement on a daily basis.”

… Okay, so Danny may have been yelling a bit by the end, but it was justified! And oh, Danny really wished his life was a cartoon right now, because that cricket chirping would be been perfect. He’s pretty sure he broke a few of them. Nightwing looked ready to cry.

Good. Danny was too tired to deal with this sh*t.

Thanks to the whole Pariah Dark thing last month, Danny was apparently immortal now anyways, so even if the cult people managed to completely destroy his body, he’d just reform in the Zone. Because he was now connected to it, and only another ghost could End him like he had Pariah, because of some weird dimensional rules. Apparently, since humans couldn’t rule the Infinite Realms, they just, like… didn’t qualify to kill him. That went for aliens, demons, gods, and other non-human beings of sentience.

So Danny’s got that going for him at least. About time something useful came outta this whole disaster of a school year.

But he’d gotten off track. Before him stood a truly ridiculous number of vigilantes, and they all looked like he’d just slapped them with a fish and then played violin with it. For a few minutes, Danny just basked in the stuttering and bewildered looks, before he noticed Nightwing drawing himself up in righteous determination and decided that yeah, he was done now.

At this point, being a dramatic a**hole to people (or ghosts) who were annoying him was just second nature, so he straightened to attention, raised his hand in a salute, and then let himself sink through the floor, perfectly stoic.

The stuttering turned to panicked shouts, and Danny’s last view of his apparent siblings was a few people lunging for him and missing, winding up tangled together on the carpet.

‘Ahhhh, yesss, I will treasure that memory always! Ah well, time to get home! Maybe I should scout out for those cult people, mess around with them. Maybe follow them back sometime, meet my half-brother. That could be fun, me and Ellie can make a road trip of it this summer! Maybe by then, the Justice Losers will have gotten their heads out as their butts.’

Meanwhile, back at the safe house, several frantic calls were being made about the dimensional threats and the League of Assassins and the possibly meta human, definitely vigilante brother.

Amity Park was about to get a lot more chaotic.

[theblue6ook]

Shit Interview PT 6

Summary: Bruce was really doing all of this to humor Alfred, and then he’d tell him it didn’t work out… or at least that’s what he is trying to tell himself. [B (23) & Y/N (21)] [Eventual slow burn with Bruce]

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x fem!reader

a/n: This is the last part of “Shit Interview,” BUT it is not the last part for these characters. Basically, we’re going to be doing different series with them until they get together so stay tuned. Their whole story can be found in my “Out of My League” series :) Also, this is unedited so hopefully, it's good for you guys lol the next week I'll be a little MIA.

Bruce didn’t expect Y/N to be so quiet after their first encounter, and while she did have spice and a frankly entertaining competitive attitude after their run-in earlier, she kept to herself. She seemed like a pretty dedicated worker. She was organized and thoughtful. He hadn’t realized, but he hadn’t even eaten breakfast this morning, so the coffee and sandwich were welcome. The flowers she placed in his office reminded him of his mother. It was always something she did when they would visit his father at work. Bring flowers and breakfast. He wondered if she had done her research on him. 

He cleared his throught, “Can I ask why there are flowers in the office?” 

“I thought they were pretty,” Y/N responded from the other room. “Why do you not like them?”

“No, they’re nice,” he responded, admiring them. 

He heard some shifting and she appeared in his doorway not too long after with a few papers. “A friend of mine owns a flower shop. Dorthie’s. He’s pretty decent friends with Alfred actually.”

She laid the papers on his desk. It was his schedule for the next week, he wasn’t even sure he’d be back next week. After a few heated discussions with Alfred, he decided this would be a trial period. Not that Y/N needed to know, he’d had enough arguing with her to last a life time. By the end of this he can tell Alfred it didn’t work out and that will be the end of it. No more assistants. 

Y/N was having similar concerns about him not returning and though she cleared her end of the bargain with Alfred… she hoped he’d be back. She liked her job and no boss means no assistant. “You can let me know if there’s anything that doesn’t work for you on there. If you can’t come to something or you’re going to be late, or planning to, in your case, just let me know. I can swap things around.”

He looked pailer than the last time she saw him so she moved across the room and grabbed the pitcher she filled with water earlier, pouring him a glass. Her mind wandering, she looked over at him in thought. 

“Something on your mind,” Bruce asked without looking up.

“Can I ask you something?” She walked around the desk and placed the glass in front of him.

“Hm,” he said going through the documents.

“I’m taking that as a yes.” She leaned on the edge of his desk. What she really wanted was to catch a vibe. Who was her boss? Why was he the epitome of a human disaster? The press says he’s partying but he doesn’t even seem like he leaves his house. She was hoping to get his attention, but his eyes stayed on the pages in front, focused. I know what will get his attention. “They say you’re a billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and I can get the billionaire part, but you haven’t really done much philanthropy recently.”

He scoffed, eyes still focused on the words in front of him, “I would argue Wayne Enterprises-”

“Obviously I’m not talking about your company I’m talking about you,” she strained. No dice, moving onto the next question. “Plus, have you even ever been on Playboy?”

That got his attention and he looked up at her with an amused smile, “Why? You going to go look up the issue?”

“I’m just trying to get a good judge of your character,” she admitted. “There are so many rumors about you, but they don’t even seem like they make sense. Unless you’re hiding like thirteen models in your mansion, I think you value your privacy more than you let on.”

That hit something. She could tell. He sat and looked at her quizically. 

“Speaking of privacy,” he smirked, mask back on, “thank you Y/N that will be all.”

She sat, a little stupid and embarrassed out at her desk. What was I thinking doing that? And on the first day. She really didn’t want to scare him off and her job literally depended on it. As much as she liked to say Alfred hired her, Bruce can do anything about it in all actuality, one word and he could have her ass on the sidewalk. Aside from the uncomfortable ending to that conversation, she still sat working, typing up the meeting notes and preparing a mass-email when Mr.Wayne stepped into the doorway, papers in hand. They looked different from the stack of papers she gave him though.

“Did you need something, Mr.Wayne,” she spoke without looking up from her email, giving him the same treatment he gave her.

“So, you were apart of the Martha Wayne foundation at Gotham Academy,” he smirked moving the papers into his right hand. Now that was a way to get someones attention. She looked up from her keyboard eyeing him and then the papers.

“Are you reading up on me?”

“Hey, I’m just trying to get a good judge of your character,” he repeated back to her.

Alright, I’ll bite, she thought. “Yes I was once apart of the infamous Martha Wayne Foundation.” She continued typing on her computer, trying to seem bored. 

“That’s for the best and brightest.”

“Mhm,” she replied.

“And now you’re my assistant.”

“Unfortuately.”

“Ha,” he snickered, “so how does the best and brightest become an assistant?”

You get cornered in a flower shop by two old men who can’t mind their own business, she thought. “Well if you must know my expertise was in engineering which I have geared away from.”

“Any particular reason why.”

“I’m not interested in it anymore,” she answered shortly.

“Hm,” he responded and then continued down his papers, “your record is clean so that’s good.” 

“Yep.”

“But Commisioner Gordan is listed as a contact for emergencies. You know him well?” 

“I didn’t realize you were a billionaire, playboy, philiantropist, and detective. You should add that to your list of qualities.” she finally stopped typing and looked up at him. “Don’t you have work to do I thought you were eager to leave at 3pm?”

He smiled, “I already finished reviewing the projects you sent me. I signed off on a few of them and have notes for the rest.” He handed them off to her.

“That was fast,” Y/N muttered taking them from him.

Shrugging on his coat, he went to head towards the door before abruptly turning around and looking at her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. Same time.”

He stepped out of the office, a slight spring in his step as she dropped the papers she was once holding. “Holy shit. I did it.”

-

Bruce stepped into the pick up zone dedicated for him and Alfred. Popping into the back seat, he looked at his watch 3:05 pm, right on time to work on his case. 

“How was your first day of work, Master Bruce,” Alfred smiled to himself.

“Please don’t mock me, Alfred,” Bruce smiled at him. “I need to be back here tomorrow same time.”

Alfred snickered and sat smiling as he pulled away from Wayne Enterprises.

“Alfred,” Bruce looked up at him. “Is there something amusing?”

“I told you she’d be good for you.”

“Stop it.”

“She’s quite a motivating individual don’t you think.” Bruce paused for a moment.

“She’s smart too,” Bruce thought back to Y/N’s slight psychological evaluation of him. “Did you know she was apart of the Martha Wayne foundation?”

“Well I did interview her Master Bruce.”

“Hm,” he hummed, “I hope she’s not too smart.”

“Excuse me sir?”

“Having someone intelligent work so closely with my schedule could mean trouble.”

“Don’t be dramatic it’s not like she’s following you around during your nightly escapades besides I think she’s good for you. You need someone to get you out of the house.”

“That’s what I have you for Alfred.”

“And that would be fine if you listened to a bloody thing I say,” he muttered.

“I heard that.”

@pank0w @moejoeflow @padsfirewhisky

[kit04kat]

Ranking the batfamily most to least likely to become a supervillian. (Plus all my ramblings about why I put who where [disclaimer, i have not read the comics due to me not having that kind of money]) I started thinking about this while reading a fanfiction where Dick, Jason and Tim were taken in by villians instead of Batman and it got me thinking. Anyways, let's get to the rankings.

1: Tim Drake. Starting off strong with our resident boy-genius with stalker tendencies. This may shock some of you, but I look at this human disaster and see a plethora of supervillian potential. You take away this man's adult supervision and the world may never be the same. What was happening with the league of assassins? And the fact that he tried to clone his best friend out of grief? Also I feel like we all skimmed over the fake uncle shenanigans too quickly. I once saw someone say something like Tim's moral code is copy-pasted off a house rules sticky note on the fridge and I agree.

2: Jason Todd. Seriously, we all saw this coming. Now, you might ask me, "but Kat, why is Jason at number 2? Didn't Red Hood already do the villian thing?" And to that I say, Ha! I am ranking them on supervillianiousness(???) Jason had his whole revenge plot and crime lord thing in Gotham but after that was done, he kinda settled out a little bit. So no, I don't think Jason has ever been a supervillian, just a villian, and after that he was more like an antihero/vigilante. That being said, I don't think he is incapable of being a supervillian, which is why he is number 2.

3: Stephanie Brown. Ok, I'm gonna be honest, I was really wavering on the order of the people in the middle. Also, I'm not gonna claim to know a whole lot about the adventures Steph has been through. That being said, I feel like she is just a tad bit more unhinged than the rest of the people in the middle, and therefore more likely to go insane. And if she had the proper motivation, she could totally be a badass supervillian. (Kind of reminds me of Jason in that way)

4: Damian Wayne. Alright, here's the thing. A lot of Damian's character development has been about him overcoming his heritage and learning that the things he learned with the league of assassins were bad. That being said, I don't think he will ever leave behind those ideologies as thoroughly as Cass and Bruce did. I think he sees the world in a lot more shades of grey than they ever will, and because of that, I've decided to put him forth on our list.

5: Barbara Gordon. I'm putting Oracle right smack dab in the middle. Not because I couldn't figure out where to put her, but because that's where she belongs. Listen, do I think she would ever become a supervillian? No, not really. However, if for some reason she had to become a supervillian, she'd be able to do it. If she ever turned to the dark side, it would be completely thought out. Calculated. And my girl doesn't do anything half-assed.

6: Duke Thomas. Now, Imma be honest, I don't know a whole lot about Duke, and I didn't really know where the best place to put his would be on this lineup. I put him in 6th cause I don't think he'd turn into a supervillian but he's more likely than the last three. He probably deserves to go further up the list, but oh well.

7: Bruce Wayne. I know some people will probably say he should be further up the list, but here is my reasoning. Batman's whole kinda thing is that he's always toeing the line. He's doesn't kill because he knows he wouldn't be able to stop. He is Darkness, Vengeance, the night, all that stuff. (It's why Batman needs a Robin) If he broke, he'd be broken. I don't think he'd be able to come back from that (I also disagree with myself a bit, cause there's no way his kill count is 0. I mean, he's been beating people up at night instead of therapy for decades) Anyways, that being said, man is stubborn and has been doing this vigilante stuff for a longggg time. I simply don't think he's gonna turn.

8: Dick Grayson. We are getting towards the bottom of the list here, to the people I think are least likely to become a supervillian. Dick has been through so much. With Renegade, Red X, Spiral, whatever was up with Ric, he took up the cowel and became Batman when Bruce was gone (which is something he never wanted to do), he's had so many of his friends die, family die, and that's not even all! He's been through a lot, but he's also the light to batman's dark. He's been through all that and still chooses to be good. There's no way he's ever becoming a supervillian (even if it is a very interesting plot in fanfiction)

9: Cassandra Cain. Last but certainly not least, Cass. I personally think she is the least likely to become a supervillian. She was raised as a weapon and taught to kill, but she has completely overcome that. She won't kill at all, much like Bruce, but she's also more emotionally sound. Her morals are strict, and she doesn't have to fight with herself to keep them. I love her so much, truly one of the best of us.

I'm gonna put Alfred as a honorable mention. He doesn't get to go on the list cause honestly, if he ever became a villian, it's over. He's have the world in his clutches before the week is over. Gotta respect him for having the patience of a saint.

This was so long! Anyways, feel free to add to this or tell me how you would rank them differently!!

[twistedtummies2]

Year of the Bat - Number 26

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “They’ll never slip past me again.” Number 26 is…Lock-Up.

While many of the great villains who appeared in “Batman: The Animated Series” – and, indeed, throughout the DCAU in general – were taken from the comics, there were quite a few baddies that were original to this universe. Some of these villains became so popular, they later were adopted into the comics themselves. Harley Quinn is, by far, the most well-known example of this, but she’s far from the only one: case in point, Lyle Bolton, a.k.a. Lock-Up. In his titular episode, Bolton is introduced as a recent new Chief of Security at Arkham Asylum. He gets his job done well: breakouts and other disasters in this home of the criminally insane have become increasingly rare. HOWEVER, after apprehending a recently-escaped Scarecrow one night, Batman & Robin soon realize that Bolton’s success is coming at a dangerous cost. At an inquest into his time as head of security, the inmates are at first too scared of confessing their fears…but finally, when Bruce Wayne suggests perhaps Bolton should stay on the staff for a while longer, they break their silence. It’s revealed that Bolton violently abuses the inmates, even threatens their very lives, whether they’ve done anything wrong or not. Enraged, Bolton tries to attack those who have singled him out…but is restrained and kicked out of Arkham, terminated immediately. Before leaving, Bolton makes a point that, before his arrival, Arkham was a revolving door for many of the worst people Gotham City has to offer. His methods, brutal and wicked as they might have been, kept the rest of the city safe. Upon being fired, Bolton decides to seek revenge on the ones he believes are TRULY responsible for all the chaos he’s tried to keep contained: “the gutless police, mindless bureaucrats, and coddling doctors.” He thus becomes the supervillain Lock-Up, hoping to bring his own brand of justice to Gotham City. Lock-Up is a great villain – and his episode a great story – because it taps into a fundamental question about superheroes, one which has been brought up many times, perhaps ESPECIALLY in the world of Batman: how far can one really bend or even break the law before they step over the line from hero to villain? Bolton is not someone who seeks power or money, but rather sees what he does as something that SHOULD be done: in his mind, he’s just helping to keep Gotham safe. Batman, of course, will take extreme measures (not AS extreme, but still beyond the norm) towards the same basic goal, and can be quite violent on his own terms. The difference, however, is that Bruce recognizes the value of human life: even when people are terrible, horrible people, they are still human beings, and considering the ones Bolton targets are also people who are mentally deranged, and are supposed to be on a path to rehabilitation rather than simple punishment, he cannot allow Lock-Up to do what he does. He certainly can’t allow it once Bolton decides to go after other people who, really, are not responsible for any great wrongdoing. In a way, I feel like Bolton is a great example of who and what Batman should NEVER be: Lock-Up is more interested in punishing wickedness, and takes sadistic pleasure in what he does. He is a cruel person at heart, despite his preaching of wanting to do what is just and right. Bruce is the opposite, and always should be: underneath his dark demeanor, past all the punches and kicks, he wants to help people find a better life, no matter who they are, something which the series touches on several times. Lock-Up is a nightmare vision of who Batman could have been, if he had not retained some semblance of humanity in his quest to avenge his parents’ murder; we don’t know why Bolton is the way he is, but I’m certainly glad Bruce didn’t end up the same way.

Tomorrow we move on to Number 25! Hint: “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet the great Batman! He’s here because he hasn’t got a clue!”

[chyirly]

Human Amongst Beast (DC Idea)

So basically this takes place in a world where everyone, except for the Batfam are animals. Everyone who is a superhero that is. They are ‘pets’ that live in the Wayne manor with the Wayne family as their caretakers.

Of course, they aren't normal ‘pets’, they can shapeshift into humans, which is what they do when fighting villains. Although I do think that it should remain on a time limit except for those that actually are able to shape shift in the franchise.

The actual humans remain humans but are aware of the shape-shifting and weird stuff going on. I don't know what to do with them.

Of course, the Waynes are aware of this, having their superhero persona that they use when necessary. Although they aren't that well know outside of the hero community.

I think this would be a slice of life with some serious moments, but it mainly showing the adventure of the ‘pets’ as they try to keep things on the down low.

The Batfam mainly try to stay at the Wayne manor, but they do have their own personal residence that they live in where some ‘pets’ will mainly reside.

With most of them being semi-permanent residents of the manor. Garfield, in particular, would come back as a different animal every time, so the Waynes just name every different version as Garfield the I, II, III, etc.

Dinosaur Garfield does exist and does have a name.

Garfield and the other aliens that don't exactly fit into the mold of a regular pet are seen as exotic by the family, no questions asked.

The Kent family are not apart of the Wayne group. I can see as animals that the Waynes meet at the parks while taking their pets on walks. Always present but not.

The Flash family are in the same situation as the Kents. Bart, due to being a time traveler is aware of the Batfam’s identity, but due to forget to explain the first time, never does. Bart just showed up one day.

For magic user such as Zatanna, I see them as being able to remain human for far longer than the others, there is still a time limit, but they are able to interact with the Waynes in their personal life.

Cyborg is a regular animal with robotic parts.

I don't think there will be any romance, maybe some hints but probably not.

Now for the teams, I think of it as the Wayne family having their own set of pets that they are more responsible for, such as Bruce with the JLA. Sometimes these groups will overlap.

Now when the ‘pets’ are out fighting crime, it will be noticeable, so the others will try to distract their handlers until the other comes back. When that doesn't work, the Waynes will be over dramatic and begin putting out wanted posters, sometimes even looking for other heroes to find their missing ‘pet’.

Garfield gets a pass because at some point they figured out that another Garfield would count as the original.

Garfield, due to having shapeshifting as his literal superpower, is the one that has to be the most careful when fighting. Although the Batfam just think that it is a coincidence.

Of course, as stated before, the Batfam know all about the shapeshifting, they just play along with everything as well as enjoy the other's pain as they try to keep their identity a secret.

When the Batfam are out patrolling, mainly during the night, except for Duke, they try to do so before the ‘pets’ realize they are not in bed being regular humans. When they are with others fighting larger disasters, they try to make things not so obvious, even having some members be civilian casualties.

When meeting other versions of themselves, the pets will tell them to keep things hidden, although the dimensional visitors do know the Batfam’s civilian identities, they won’t say anything due to their own Batfam redirecting the conversation. In the end, they never explain.

The reveal has to be an accident on the Batfam side, no question.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Tresnueve

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/I3K1kum

by BlackHat666

"My parents died a long time ago Talia. There is a hero named... it doesn't matter. He went back to save his Mother. But all he did was create a multiversal disaster. The point is, they want what's best for you. And maybe your Father wants to destroy humanity and create a new world thinking it will save you. But it won't Talia. As much as it pains me the world will always be filled with evil. You have to make the best of it."

Words: 1008, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Talia al Ghul, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson

Relationships: Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Protective Bruce Wayne, Hurt Talia al Ghul, Grief

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/I3K1kum

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Bruce sulks harder when Reid mentions trying to qualify for his firearm

Just little Reid being Bruce’s pride and joy, getting all his degrees and doctorates and being suck a sweet kid. Then he joins the FBI

There’s definitely still fun to be had with that, like doing a “Who Am I?” with unsubs his team profiled and Gotham rouges with the fam. The Team asks about his family and Reid talks about his foster dad and siblings who sound like human disasters but are just wonderful to him and were part of the reason he wanted to join the FBI and help people, come to find out it’s the freaking Wayne’s.

They realize this when a case pops up in Bludhaven and Dick hugs the soul out of his baby (?) brother and the tea is officially spilled. Another time they need some insider knowledge about drugs an unsub is using and who on the black market might be selling it so Reid calls up Jason, who helps out and leaves the call with “see ya at improv bro” not realizing he was on speaker.

At some point there’s a worry that all the Wayne’s are just secretly some mob family since Reid has “A Guy™️” that is always a foster/adoptive family member that ranges to a cop in the most corrupt city, a CEO, some kid who knows way too much about murder and assassins, a drug lord, and some green icon Garcia is pals with. But that’s Reid’s family and also a good group of sources that have helped them out so what can they do? Go after a rich and prominent family their friend is related too?

Bruce gets another murder frame up and awkwardly is arrested by Reid until the charges get cleared up

Guys help, I’ve been watching Criminal Minds while I draw and then I remember “hey I think that I remember see a Batfam x CM cross over fic” and I look it up and it’s not quite my thing, but then I found another where Spencer is part of the batfam and then I had a dream about it last night and now I’m debating drawing it.

Also Penelope Garcia should be a lesbian the CM writers are just fucking cowards.

[incorrectbatfam]

Stepmom!Selina?

She sees what she's getting into from a mile away, but she welcomes it because Bruce's kids are a part of him, and she loves all of Bruce.

The kids all see it coming too, and while some (Damian) take longer to warm up to her, she's welcomed into the fold with open arms.

Selina's got a heart as big as her partner and while she's not always perfect, you can see how much she cares.

As a former foster child herself, Selina understands Duke's unique experiences and traumas from the foster care system, so whenever he needs to talk, she's the first one he goes to. Sometimes he doesn't want to (or need to) talk, so they'll watch boxing matches or she'll teach him little bits of Mandarin. If the kitchen isn't busy, they'll try their hand at new TikTok recipes, and film themselves either succeeding or debunking the original poster.

Being raised in isolation to be a human weapon meant Cass missed out on a lot of the things daughters typically learn as children/teens. The evening of Cass's first gala, she didn't know the first thing about doing her own hair and makeup. She's braved assassin armies, but her self-made disaster of bobby pins and eyeshadow nearly drives her to tears. Selina swoops in, wipes Cass's face with gentle reassurances, and walks her through step-by-step.

Selina considers it a privilege to have watched Dick grow from the spunky little Robin to the man he is today. Even though he's taller than her, she still ruffled his hair when he does a good job. She also keeps the first ever birthday card he gave her, which includes a pop-up bat signal and scented stickers, and remembers all of his favorite radio stations. Also, when Bruce does something, Dick goes tattling to Selina.

For a while, Carrie mooched off of her siblings' Netflix profiles, but everyone got tired of her messing up their algorithm and she was forced to make her own. She soon realized how much freedom she had because no one could see what she was watching. Selina caught on to the power trip and started researching and watching snippets whenever a new show comes out. That's how she stopped a bunch of preteen girls from watching Squid Game.

Tim often gets overlooked as not just the middle child, but the child who appears put-together and regularly takes on adult responsibilities. Selina, however, remembers that he's still a teenager. She regularly checks in and gradually teaches him that it's okay to let go and act his age. Selina encourages him to call his Young Justice friends outside of missions and take small acts of rebellion against Bruce. When Tim and his boyfriend snuck out to a famous lover's lookout, Selina gave them the car keys and covered for them.

She noticed that Jason really enjoys hanging out with Harley Quinn, bonding over not just Joker trauma but other shared interests like music taste. After Harley turns to the antihero side, Selina discusses with Bruce and they start inviting Aunt Harley and Aunt Ivy to dinner. The first time they do that, Harley is so excited that she baked a three-layer cake just for Jason. Literally, in strawberry frosting, it said, "THIS CAKE IS FOR JASON ONLY." Finding someone that Jason can relate to remains one of Selina's proudest accomplishments.

She's trying her best, but she makes mistakes too. For instance, although Wayne Manor has plenty of kitchen space, Selina does her cooking at Harley and Ivy's because Ivy can offer her fresh plant-based ingredients that suited Damian's needs. When Alfred's not available, she sends Damian to school with healthy, flavorful vegan lunches shaped into Cheese Viking characters. One time, she was tasked with bringing brownies to a PTA meeting. Incidentally, Harley was simultaneously baking a... different kind of brownie for a block party (you can see where this is heading). When an angry superintendent demanded to know who was responsible, Selina wisely kept her mouth shut and thankfully, so did Damian.

Cullen loves concerts, but he's a huge introvert who gets anxiety when he's left alone in a crowd. Selina becomes his concert buddy, and she'll go as all-out as he does. Sometimes that's showing up to a garage band dressed-down in hoodies and sunglasses. Other times it's painting their faces and looking like they just came out of a Hot Topic blowout sale. She even listens to the discography beforehand so she can blend in. Selina learns a lot about Cullen through this, because nothing says more about a person than the music they listen to.

Harper, though looking rough around the edges, turns into a giddy little kid at interactive science museums. During one of these trips, Harper got distracted by the giant Newton's Cradle so she didn't notice a fourth grade field trip sweeping up Selina. When they reunited at the gift shop, a chaperone had given Selina a school t-shirt and she was put in charge of grading ten kids' assignments. Harper laughed so hard that she spewed lemonade on the museum owner. Neither of them will let the other live that day down.

Selina and Barbara openly talk about guy stuff, and Selina is more than happy to offer advice in times of need. They're both pretty liberal talking about that stuff, and one time they did a tier ranking of all the Gotham Rogues based on how effective their gimmick is (Joker was the only S-tier). They then proceeded to get into a debate on whether or not Man-Bat and Killer Croc should qualify for the list, which led to them staring each other down at dinner while the other family members sat around them confused.

Steph's school offered a Mother's Day breakfast. Although Crystal Brown was doing her best and wanted to make it, she was scheduled a double-shift that the breakfast fell right in the middle of. Selina reached out to Crystal and with permission, went in her place. Afraid that Steph would publicly reject her, Selina sat in the parking lot for ten minutes as Bruce amped her up over the phone. Steph, thinking that no one would no up, was ecstatic and said that she couldn't have thought of anyone better. They enjoyed stacking up waffles and making the girls who bully Steph envious.

Long before she and Bruce got married, Selina made it clear that she would not be relegated to the gender-typical role of a homemaker, and Bruce happily concurred because it's 2021. They knew that to give Alfred a break, they'd have to take on some chores themselves. Instead of dividing up a boring old chore chart, they find ways to make cleaning fun and collaborative. They'll dance around the halls in mop slippers, play "guess the stain", and race their roombas. The kids see this and start modeling the behavior in their own ways—Dick swings from high places to dust them, Damian trains his pets to pick up garbage, and Cass and Duke compete to see who can clean the most bathtubs.

Some parts of the Manor are due for redecorating, so Selina and Alfred make a day trip out of interior design sketches, flipping through furniture catalogues, and looking at paint swatches. It sounds boring at first, but the menial tasks meant they had plenty of time for conversation, and she finally understood why everyone respects him. They also made room in the afternoon for a stroll through the park and afternoon tea, where he told her and her only the secret to a perfect scone.

The other Justice League partners welcome her into the group too. Whenever Selina's in Metropolis, she joins Lois and Ma and Pa for Sunday brunch where they share what their kids have been up to. Iris shows her life hacks to cooking large batches of food in a short time. Selina and Dinah discover an online store dedicated to selling vigilante gear and go on a Cyber Monday spree for their whole families. Steve Trevor, Diana's partner, teaches Selina how to fly with the invisible jet so she can surprise Bruce with the batplane.

After overcoming their initial conflicts, Selina and Talia hold a high amount of respect for each other. Talia sees Selina as not just a capable combatant, but a worthy partner to her former beloved and stepmother to her son. Selina, after spending all that time with the kids, understands the motherly love that Talia holds for Damian and makes it abundantly clear that she would never try to replace Talia in the boy's life. Regardless, looking after all those kids is hard, so they are very much open to the idea of co-parenting.

(Selina doesn't know it, but all this makes Bruce fall in love with her all over again.)

[yaboialbarg]

Heyo, here are my take on Batman and his Rougue's gallery that i'll be using on my anlog horror web series "Arkham Archives"

What is Arkham Archives?

Arkham Archives is planned to be an analogue horror series inspired by the Batman Mythos, more specifically Arkham asylum 

The series will take place in between the 1950s and 1970s and the main idea is to get the characters and settings from the Batman comics, and give it a horror twist

And although the series WILL take elements and ideas from the comics, there will be NO NEED to read any pre existing comics to get into the series, i'll try my best to be faithful to the comics but i'll also make this it's own thing 

Now Without revealing to much, here's the Description of some of the characters and settings:

Settings

Gotham

The shadowy City of madness, always surrounded by an dense fog 

Founded in 1783 and located on the Atlantic ocean by the coast of the U.S.

the stories of how the City came to be varies, but the one majority believes the most is that gotham was formed by ex prisoners of prison hulk boats, and maybe even from slave ships and boats from other countrys, send to the ocean because of their mental state. Which would explain the places cultural diversity

The most important figures of Gotham were the three main families:

The Cobblepots, a family specialized in economics and politics

The Waynes, a family specialized in industry and military force

And the Arkhams, a family specialized in medicine and science

The City was very similar to New York, Although smaller, a lot more industrial and it was a lot more dangerous, with high levels of crime and murders 

But even with a bad reputation of being a "cursed city", Gotham still managed to enter on the U.S. map, and it had a somewhat stable economy 

That is…. Until the great depression happened

The crisis affected the city's economy drastically, companies going bankrupt, corruption and crime rising through the roof, no one was trustworthy in the City, it was a disaster

Thus, in 1923, the U.S. government declared Gotham as a Failed State, and Abandoned the city by destroying the bridge that connected it to the country 

Now a days, most people believe gotham to be nothing but a myth… a sinister tale spreaded by conspiracy theorists

Arkham Asylum 

Founded in 1893 by the Arkhams, is a extremely protected prison, located on a distant island on the coast of gotham that has a extremely strong security system

Arkham is the home of the mentaly ill and a place of healing…. At least…it is now….

In reality…Arkham was never meant to be an asylum, it wasn't even a hospital in the first place.

No…the place was known as The Arkham Research Facility, it was utilized to realize and fund human experimentation, including physical, mental and emotional testing on subjects, in order to create weapons and super soldiers

In 1907, the place was called out for its inhumane actions, misuse of scientific equipment and ilegal medical methods

The place was reformed by Amadeus Arkham, and reopened in august 13th 1913 as Arkham Asylum, promising to be a healthcare institution that would take care of the mentaly ill 

Like a family

Characters:

Batman | The Judge

The masked, cruel vigilante of Gotham goes by many names:

The dark knight

The caped cruzader

The horned beast of gotham's night sky

The horseman of judgment

But most of Gotham mostly know it as "The Judge"

The closest thing the city has for a protector, but even though the monster protects them, the citizens of the City are still terrified by it

Mostly because of how ruthless and unmerciful it acts toward criminals, marking them as a warning with a heated branding iron, and chasing them with its modified vehicle that roars like a predator 

Despise it's actions, people fear the Judge

Wayne Manor

Once the lair of the waynes, now resides only the memories of the actions of the family

An young adult Bruce Wayne, ever since a tragic incident, closed and locked the Doors of the Manor

And ever since, Bruce was never seen again, some say that after the tragedy, he took his own life, and now haunts the withered and broken place.

Others say that his butler, Alfred, killed him to take the families riches, since he's the only one that ever leaves the manor

Other even say that Bruce is still alive, but that he had become a monster like all the other freaks in Arkham

Despise all this theories, no one really has a solid explanation of what truly happened to the Last Wayne

But even without his presence, somehow, his industry still works at full force.

GCPD

The Police force of the city and the closest thing that Gotham has for a stable government force

And although it is supposed to be the main source of law enforcement, most of the system is rotten to the core

So much so that Police officers were reported being attacked by The Judge, officers that later confessed to be involved in corruption

There are two that separate themselves from the system, in different ways:

Officer Jason Todd: raised by a mercenary, Jason is violent and straight to the point, and is not scared to kill or straight up mentaly and physicaly torture criminals. Despite this, he hates being compared to the Judge, because it "gives scumbags too many chances"

Commissioner Jim Gordon: the one who truly desires to protect the city, always paranoid about the safety of the citizens after the supossed suicide of his wife and dissapearece of his two oldest Kids, having his daughter Barbara the only family he has left

Mr. J | the smiling man

An unknown figure, haunts television screens and radios in specific time periods, but most believe to be an urban legend.

Although many haven't been able to describe it, individuals that had supposed encounters with it recall it having a large terrifying smile, and that it spoke like a show host.

Figure has connection to multiple disappearances, with most including young Man and woman and children

Harley Quinn | The Harlequin 

A tall slender figurine, one that resembles a clown or a type of jester

She usually hides inside of circus tents or even abandoned theaters, with many reports describing it acting like a child

Although she acts childish, she's sinisterly intelligent, and can cause existential dread by playfully tearing the victims insecurities apart

Reports also comments how she supposedly "play" with her victims, by making them play life treathining Carnival games or participating in a theater play that ends in a "Shakespearian tragedy"

Poison ivy | The Gotham Wood's witch

Hiding within the depths of the city's forest, the Gotham Wood's witch is a living corpse kept alive by undiscovered plant life

Creature has been reported attacking campers, while she killed all male victims, she only harmed the female ones, reasons for this are unknown

She can attract individuals by releasing pheromones to attract potential victims to somewhere hidden, where she proceeds to devour them alive 

Reports also mention her abilities to control plants, transform the dead into plant based creatures and the fact that it's impossible to kill with it's regenerative ability

Bane | El Diablo

A man with inhuman strength, thanks to a strange venom type liquid running through his veins, and a brutal desire for anarchy and destruction

Not many know who he used to be before becoming a powerful monstrosity, but some believe he has connection to a ex-wrestler who participated in the army that disappeared years ago

But aside from that, not much is know

What is know, is that El Diablo is an extremely dangerous individual, not only because of his incredible strength, but also because of his huge intellect and military mindset

Mr. Freeze | The Frosted Butcher

A walking diver suit, filled with nitrogen, that wanders near lakes and distant valleys, was also spotted wandering on the city's mountain

This mysterious monster has been reported attacking smaller distant towns, most of them ending up completely frozen

It has been reported to freeze its victims to death, then break their corpses apart, taking away their organs.

Reasons for this behavior are still unknown 

The Penguin

Hiding in the city's dark alleys, no one knows if the penguin is an deformed man or a actual penguin like monster

A serial killer, that has a prefered taste for "Higher class culture", as most of their attacks involve art and upper class traditions

Most reports seem to indicate that The penguin dresses as a classic Victorian upper class man. With many believing and calling this individual the "modern Jack the ripper"

Individual seems to also have connections to the Cannibal black market, since reports say that they saw a similar figure roaming trough the alley that the market supposedly is.

Catwoman | The Cat Burglar

Reports talk about a mysterious critter, that some believe to be either a human with mechanical limbs, or an actual Feline like monster.

Some witnesses say that the creature is attracted to shiny materials, and tends to invade residences to steal food, but also to steal any shiny material that it can see

It's said to have 5 eyes, but some believe it to be night vision goggles. And that the creature uses its tail as a whip

The Riddler

A infamous serial killer, one that uses twisted puzzles and mind games to kill their victims, was never once caught by the authorities 

No one knows who the Riddler is, so much so that even when people thought that they found them, it was another one of their victims

They even disappeared for a while, a letter taunting and expressing their disappointment with the GCPD was the Last the people heard from the Riddler….

But one Day…the killings started again…because the Riddler found their proper adverserie…the Judge

Harvey Dent | Two Faced shooter

Once one of the most honest members of the GCPD, after a freak accident, Harvey Dent became too unstable because of his disorder.

Suffering from Multiple Personality disorder, Harvey always had his weird behaviors (such as using a coin for every decision), but nothing that could potentially cause any harm…

But it was after his accident that he started to decay into madness

With a single flip of a coin…40 lives were taken on the Gotham National Bank shooting of 63, caused by Harvey himself…

The Scarecrow 

Crick crack

Better watch your back

Crick crack

As you go down the track

Crick crack 

Because courage you lack

Crick crack

It is too late to runback 

Crick crack

You are now off track

Crick crack

It's about to attack

Crick crack

With its head in a sack

Crick crack 

As you hear it's body clack 

Crick crack

The Scarecrow your mind will wrack

Killer Croc

A crocodilian-like creature.

Rumors say that it wanders through the city sewers, looking for something… or someone to eat

Man-Bat

The creature first appeared near the Arkham towers, but later on, there was reports of the creature flying above Gotham

Stories say that the creature is a vampire, feasting from the blood of its victims

Other says that it's more like a werewolf, but instead of a wolf, the man would become a bloodthirsty bat-like creature

Arkham seems to deny allegations and says that the creature is a myth

Clay Face | C14y F4C3 ADC-401940 | The Multifaceted Killer

A recent event has been creating mass hysteria as of late, and authorities seems to be just as paranoid

A massive kill streak have been reported through the city, with many identifying the culprits….. but when investigated, most of if not, ALL of the suspects, either were people that were already dead years ago, or literally don't exist

With little to no evidence, lack of accurate suspects and killing methods varying drastically, the case of the Multifaceted killer case goes unsolved

The Mad Hatter

Individual has been known for kidnaping children, by using some sort of hypnotic ability

He resembles the character of the Mad Hatter from Alice in wonderland, thus the people started to call him as such

Some say that he takes children away to a broken rotting windmill, where he puts the children in a trance like state by putting them in mechanical chairs 

There was a time when 6 children went missing, and when authorities found them, they were strapped in chairs unharmed… but when they woke the children up, they started to panic, scream, saying they wanted to come back to their "Wonderland"

2 days after the event, the same children disappeared again, but this time, the parents were found dead in their beds

The children killed their own parents, and ran back to the clutches of the Hatter

The location of these children are still unsolved to this day

Solomon Grundy

Solomon Grundy,

Born on a Monday,

Christened on Tuesday,

Married on Wednesday,

Took ill on Thursday,

Grew worse on Friday,

Died on Saturday,

Buried on Sunday,

That was the end of Solomon Grundy…

Solomon Grundy,

Unburied on a Monday,

Taken away by Tuesday,

Stitched together on Wednesday,

Stuffed with ennards on Thursday,

Grew bigger by Friday

Revived on Saturday,

Locked away on Sunday,

That was the rebirth of Solomon Grundy…

Hugo Strange | Dr.731

Appearing out of nowhere by the coast of Arkham, the strange japanese doctor made his way into Arkham, and established himself as one of the doctors

Hugo has a literal Red skin, a sinister smug smile, and a creepy mentality of what counts as science

Many Wonder why Arkham took in the mysterious doctor, and what he even does inside that building

Jeremiah Arkham

The current owner of Arkham

After the death of his Father, Jeremiah took the role of both Asylum seeker as well as THE Head doctor

Following on his father's footsteps, Jeremiah promised to make sure Arkham Asylum would become the best Psychiatric Unit of the city and keep the city healed…

His favorite animals are owls……

Arkham rejects

I released the teaser for it here before.

If you haven't seen it, you can watch it here:

If you're intrested on this idea and/or want to help out with something on the project, i'd more than happy to get some help with this passion project

https://youtu.be/SspnpGNM-QE

That's all for now

See ya

[the-antiapocalyptic-man]

Velma Dinkley, Fred Jones, Daphne Blake, Norville “Shaggy” Rogers, and a pup named Scooby-Doo are the core members of Mystery Incorporated, a mobile crime-solving organization, more commonly referred to as “The Scooby Gang” or “Those Meddling Kids (and their DOG).” While generally involved in what essentially amount to real estate disputes and low level corporate theft revolving around individuals dressed in elaborate monster costumes (inspired by the color vestments of actual metahuman and alien criminals), the group is fairly well regarded by the wider superhero community for staving off alien invasions, eldritch incursions, zombie cat-people, demon summonings, and what have you. In fact, Mystery Inc famously rubs elbows with all manner of celebrities, being one of the few groups that can say they’ve worked directly with both Bruce Wayne and Batman (truly opposite ends of the spectrum, as far as guest stars go, I’m sure you’d agree.) There’s some speculation that they were the inspiration behind Batman Incorporated.

Of the individual members, each is fairly accomplished in their own regard. Doctor Velma Dinkley has a variety of degrees and patents to her name, including a close call with some nanotech. Fred Jones is the adopted son of Don Jones aka Professor Huh?, the Freak of Crystal Cove, and a beneficiary of Velma’s nanotech research. His childhood altercations with the Herring siblings--Red and Rose--were actually some of the group’s earliest cases when they were still children. Daphne Blake--of the Gotham Blakes--is the fashion conscious bank roller of the team and their other best fighter (being more technically proficient than Shaggy, but lacking his raw power) having trained with her good friends Barbara Gordon and Kathy Duquesne. Shaggy, while always a core member, became their powerhouse after happening on a crystal and uh...well, eating it. He seems to black out and act on pure instinct when accessing even half a percent of his raw power. The League has made a note to keep an eye on him, either as a threat or a potential recruit, as well as the relationship between Norville and the so-called “Shaggy Man.”

Scoobert Doo--Scooby--is of course the group’s unofficial namesake. A great dane who can speak and has roughly human intelligence, Scooby’s origins were initially a mystery, until multiple other dogs matching his description and intelligence were discovered. As they all recognized each other and seem to be related, Velma and Batman surmise that Scooby and his siblings and cousins are all related to a single, meta-canine with an unknown number of uplifted descendants. Among these, Scooby’s child Scrappy--though raised as his nephew by Scooby’s sister--is perhaps the clearest vision of this sub-species’ possible future. Kamandi--a human survivor of a future Great Disaster--even confused Scrappy for his friend, Doctor Canus, believing he had accidentally traveled back to a time too close to his own.

[hornithology]

there are three tots classes a week and Dick teaches two. he also teaches classes of all ages and skill levels, at least one a day. he's not the oldest sensei at the dojo or the highest rank, but Dick is absolutely the beating heart of the place. it's grown significantly since he joined, still a small place in an underserved neighborhood, but with a robust community.

Damian comes to all of the tot classes that Dick teaches but he does not want to go to the other one.

B: Does this mean you like Sensei G's class?

d: no!!!! >:(

B: but you want to go back?

d: I need to get my yellow stripe!!!

Damian is fitted for a tiny gi and gets his white belt in his second class. Dick teaches him the proper method of putting on the belt and respecting it. many of the tots have difficulty tying their belts, so the beginning of class is usually Sensei G and his assistant showing how to tie the proper knot. Damian is so short that his ends trail almost to his feet.

Damian does not like playing warm up games. until his competitive side is unlocked when another kid says that No one has Ever successfully stolen the bird from Sensei G.

(the bird is a wooden Robin and the game is to try and steal it from him while he has his eyes closed.)

at once Damian declares that he can do it! he will prove that Sensei G is an imposter. he WILL play the game and he WILL win!!! ultimate focus: activated.

Sensei G sits, puts on a blindfold and the kids try and take the bird out of his hands. if you get tagged, you have to run to the wall and touch it before you can try again. sometimes the kids rush him and he rolls and flips out of the way. then they try and sneak up and grab it, but he moves it away or even vanishes it in one hand, only for it to appear in another!

Damian is SO sneaky but Sensei G still hears him coming and moves out of the way! he's so fast! Damian gets frustrated and tries to hit Sensei G, but he FLIPS AWAY and then lands on his HANDS with the bird on his foot!!!

d: :o

d: :O

d: my sensei is the best sensei of ALL TIME

(Bruce always brings Damian to the classes and stays the whole time, working on a small laptop because Damian has separation issues. and also he gets to watch Sensei G out of the corner of his eye. he is so sneaky about it!

after the game, Damian bows deeply and seriously to Dick. "Sensei G, please teach me to flip!!!"

(chorus of 3-5 yos: flip! FLIP!!!)

so when he sees this happen he's like. is there finally another adult that Damian respects besides myself, Talia and Alfred? dare I hope?

and also, seeing Dick be so good with Damian is absolutely devastating to Bruce's heart. if there was ever a chance that he wouldn't fall head-over-heels in love with Dick, that ship has SAILED.

Bruce has three minutes of enjoying his own boundless infatuation, watching as Dick leads a line of tots to the soft mats, like ducklings after their mama bird. the kids bow before climbing on the mat, and Dick brings out a huge cushion. it's time to learn how to fall well!

the dojo is filled with sounds of teeny tiny human delight as they are bounced and gently thrown, everyone is watching this immense cuteness, but over in the waiting area is Bruce Wayne and—uh oh! his three minutes are up and it's time to have a full blown Crisis.

his love life is a disaster. he cannot possibly ruin the One Good Thing in his son's life by dating his Sensei and breaking his heart! Damian would never forgive him. besides, Sensei G might not even agree to go on a date! he's probably not single, look at him! who would date Dick Grayson and ever let him go again???

No. Bruce simply Can Not date Sensei G. it would be impossible. no he will not interrogate this line of thinking further!)

Dojo AU

[a/n: is it called a threadfic if it's on tumblr?]

no-capes AU where Dick Grayson is a sensei at a Cuong Nhu dojo who teaches a tot class. Bruce Wayne brings 4yo Damian to the class and immediately falls in love with Dick.

this class was recommended to Bruce because Damian has 'behavioral issues' that have made it a nightmare to integrate him into kindergarten programs. Damian has gone through like 8 nannies. specialists have diagnosed him with autism and possibly ODD. Bruce is at his wits end. shouldn't the terrible twos be over by now???

so Bruce shows up at the dojo with his Emergency Damian Bag and teeny tiny demon Damian clinging to his pants. he called ahead and spent an hour talking to Dick to prepare him. Dick comes up to them to say hi in his white gi and Bruce is like—oh god help me this is the most beautiful man I have ever seen.

(the other senseis and regulars have seen this exact look pass over a parent's face many-a-time. it's par for the course with Dick! but also. this is BRUCE WAYNE.)

Dick kneels down and says, "Hello Damian, my name is Sensei Grayson. You can call me Sensei G."

Damian glares at him for a moment. and then lets out a cry and strikes him on the head with a chop.

Bruce is mortified. he is still not done processing the beauty that is Sensei Grayson and his horrible child has just hit him on the head! he's told Damian SO many times that he can't hit people!!!

Dick says, "ow" and frowns cause like. it didn't really hurt, but it's the kind of thing that could hurt someone and that's important to communicate with children.

Damian did like hitting this stranger but he does *not* like that Dick is 'upset'. he tears up and screeches, "YOU'RE WEAK I WON'T LEARN FROM YOU."

Bruce, so tired, "Damian—"

Dick, "Well, I can't make you learn. but if you don't take this class, you can't get a belt."

Damian narrows his little eyes into slits. Bruce holds his breath. is G's gambit going to work???

"I have a judo belt," Damian argues, which is true, but he is very much Not Allowed back at that Judo dojo.

"Ah," says Dick. "But you don't have a Cuong Nhu belt." he shows off the end of his tied belt, which is black and has four red stripes.

Damian grabs the end of Dick's belt and Bruce is having a meltdown. the disrespect! is it disrespectful in Cuong Nhu? but Dick doesn't seem to mind.

"You're Yondan," Damian says. like his father, he has a special interest in martial arts and learned all about the Judo ranks. "You haven't mastered yet!"

"I am fourth degree, yes, but the ranks are different in Cuong Nhu. did you know that Cuong Nhu is a blend of seven styles of martial arts, and one of them is Judo?"

Damian's eyes go big. "You know Judo?!"

redirect successful! "Come, I'll show you how to enter the dojo." Dick smiles up at Bruce who is so so so charmed and so so so afraid what Damian will do for the next hour of class.

[hintofelation99]

Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.

[katsuyacrimson]

Hey , just wondering if you could recommend me some good superbat fics ! Thanks !

Yeah, for sure! Actually, I just realized how great of escape fanfics are this month, so I’ve been reading a few to immerse myself to distract myself from the lockdowns in Ontario, Canada. There are some amazing Superbat fics out there! Sadly, not enough! I’m not sure if you've read them already. I hope you enjoy some of these.

Here we go~! 

Burning Down the House by TheResurrectionist 

Word Count: 5743

Oh my goodness, what a funny and good writer. Clark begs Bruce to drink, using Kryptonite to weaken him to human standards which allows him to drink (really love this headcanon). Diana is their drinking referee and the whole team comes down to the batcave to watch. I smile so wide every time I read this fic, it’s so cute. 

Gone Fishing by Unpretty

Word Count: 15734

From start til finish, I was on the floor DYING. It’s not particularly romantic, but it’s Bruce and Clark going on a fishing adventure. This writer has a great hand for humour and they make all their characters bi disasters. I am so here for it! You think it's friendship, but I think it's more. 

World’s Finest: Company Picnic by WingFeathers

Word Count: 8598

Clark and Bruce are in an established relationship, the JL don’t know that Bruce is Batman. I love it when their relationship interacts with the Justice League.

When We Were Eleven by Evilpixie

Word Count: 46088

You’ve probably heard of this author, I love them. I think they are my favourite Superbat writer. This is Kidsuperbat. A Soulmate fic as well. It’s cute, sweet, fluff, angst, all the good stuff. I love their knack of writing long stories, helps keep the immersion going and going.

Part 1: Injustice and Part 2: Injustice Scars by Evilpixie

Word Count: 33918 & 36629

This was my first Superbat fic, WARNING: It’s fucked. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, or most of the superbat fandom has heard of this one, it takes place in the Injustice Universe where Clark is really messed up. However, the way this writer writes Bruce and Clark is so beautiful, it’s a happy ending, and the consensual superbat moments are so soft, I cried. Not for the faint of hearts, but if you want a classic superbat story, this is one of the fathers of them. 

It Was Always You by TheResurrectionist

Word Count: 4039

Another great writer, really wholesome superbat pinning. Soulmate fic, I’m a sucker for these. 

A New World by Evilpixie 

Word Count: 28834

Oh, the hurt! The drama! The love! 

Gently Into by thelightsaberlesbian

Word Count:  3382

An enjoyable oneshot, Clark randomly makes dinner for Bruce in his Manor with a wonderful preposition. I love my soft bois. 

The Long Hangover by CoffioCake

Word Count: 55294

A well-written, well-rounded superbat fic! 

Kryptonite Kiss by SlightlyPsycho

Word Count: 227092

I have not yet read this, but I heard it’s great and it’s 72 chapters. I am going to wait for a long weekend, be snuggled up under a blanket and jump into this pit one day. Come join me. Brue and Clark trying to sort out their feelings. 

___________________

Okay, now I’m gonna share the out-side-the-box stuff. I’m SO very sorry if you’re not a fan of the Omegaverse, and I’m sorry if bottom!Bruce isn’t what you meant by fic recs, I sincerely apologies. But here are some fic recs from the omega universe. 

You and Me and Me and You by the_butler

Word Count: 10384

So this is a University AU, Bruce and Clark are an Omega and Alpha couple, trying to help out Barry on his new relationship with Hal. I imagine Bruce with pierced earrings, wearing goth bracelets, of course a purple or blue t-shirt over a long-sleeved black t-shirt. Oh, he’s so cute here.  

Silver Secrets by AboutBatman (MistyDawn)

Word Count: 20290 (unfinished)

Okay, this one is for sure, I admit, is just a lot okay. But it’s so delicious. It’s not fully superbat, but Justice League x Bruce Wayne. It’s heavily BatFlash so far, it’s not finished yet, but it’s definitely building up to Superbat. It’s actually a prequel to Double Trouble, which is BatFlash, but Bruce sleeps with Clark as well, they’re a poly pack. I like how comfortable Clark is around Bruce, and he definitely yearns for Bruce. I love the dynamic where Alpha’s want to protect Omega Bruce because it’s like, he’s the Goddamn Batman and you want to protect him? You are too cute! 

DC Omegaverse by Evilpixie

Word Count: 453,921

And so if you want a Omegaverse saga, here it is!! I follow the writer’s tumblr, where they still get questions on this Universe, and it’s like a living, breathing universe. It’s very cool and full of superbat. Full of other Batfam ships as well. Also one of my first fics, was intense, but oh so very tasty. 

Thank you for the ask, love! I hope I was able to help you discover some new ones < 333 Oh, Please let me know if any of your guys have fic recs. Thanks for reading!! 

[phantomechospics]

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms, 10 Tags

I got tagged by @bestillmyfastbeatingheart so feel free to thank them for this! :) This is my first ever tag-post too, so if I didn’t do it right, well...

Meh, instructions are for nerds (says the software developer that went back to school and likes to write fics in spare time).

(Using a keep reading so I don’t blow-up people’s dashboards.)

10 characters (No particular order since it’s based on whatever I’m reading/writing at the moment):

Kuroba Kaito (Magic Kaito, Detective Conan)

Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians)

Hunter (The Owl House)

Bakugou Katsuki (Boku no Hero Academia)

Killua Zoldyck (HunterxHunter)

Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender)

Marco Diaz (Star vs The Forces of Evil)

Merlin (Merlin 2008)

Steven Universe (Steven Universe)

Tim Drake (DC: Batman comics)

I have far more characters that I like and did not make it to the list. If there is a character that I ship with these ones (Like Kaito x Shinichi or Merlin x Arthur) you can assume that the other character is in this same list. (Also, anyone want to take a look at that list and tell me what my type is? XD )

10 Fandoms (Again, no particular order):

Detective Conan | Magic Kaito (Same creator, same ‘verse)

The Owl House

Xiaolin Showdown

Avatar: The Last Airbender (Not Korra though, not sorry)

Star vs the Forces of Evil

Merlin (2008)

Boku no Hero Academia

Danny Phantom

Rise of the Guardians

DC

Again, more fandoms than I can count and my interest tends to shift by the day. (I’ve jumped into 4 new fandoms in the last 2 weeks alone, so my attention is mercurial at best.)

10 Tags (I have a feeling I’ll get some flames for this, but I like what I like):

ABO (Non-traditional dynamics)

Dom/Sub (Soft play for the most part)

Sentinel/Guide

Analyst Midoriya Izuku

Time Loops

De-aging (NOT Age Play, I want to make that clear)

Humans are Space Orcs

Bruce Wayne is a good dad

Dadzawa

Alternate Universe -Fantasy (Or basically any cross-over with another fandom done well)

These also change, depending on the fandom/character/pairings I am reading at the moment. I also like Human-Disaster [Insert-Character-Name-here] but the best fics for that aren’t always tagged like this. :)

Questions? Feel free to Reply, Reblog or Ask!

As for who’s next...

@thrushsong-kvaris @idealesss and @bookreader20003 feel like making a tag post? If you haven’t already done this one. :)