#Bruce Wayne is MOTHER

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 37 (Masterlist)

(Part 38)

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@bruciemilf hey bestie I’m back :D

[sleepdeprivedvigilante]

Part 1, conversations I had with my sibling (or myself, or other people) as the batfamily

Back from patrol

Tim, sitting infront fo the batcomputer as damian Enters: How'd it go Mortal, commit any war crimes while you were out with your friend patrolling?

Damian: *scoffs* Went well, even if I had I wouldn't tell you.

Someone from the justice league that batman was discussing something with in the Cave: *Blink* what the fuck-

While walking In civilian persona alone, 6 Am, seeing a shady vehicle

Duke, Muttering to himself: Don't kidnap me, it would be very unsportsmanlike.

While on stakeout after A Arkham Break-out, with fear gas on the streets

Jason, on like 2 hours of sleep : This for real should be named "Five nights at fuck around and Find tF out"

While having a heart to heart

Dick, apologizing: I'm sorry for not believing you-

Tim, on no sleep, high on trauma, and emotionally drained: A penny for my thoughts, a dollar for your feelings, and a credit card for you to shut the fuck up-

Casual talking brother bonding

Tim,optimsit turned cynist rich kid:I realized life wasn't fair when I was like- 10? Fighting for my parents attention-

Duke, A Narrows Kid, With a cold stare into nothingness: I realized life wasn't fair when I was 4 and Someone stole my Trycicle overnight. I still hold the grudge.

Dick: Are you OK? Sometimes you concern me Duke-

[ditzybat]

i love the headcannon that both tim and cass look scarily alike, to the point they could be twins.

like they both share the same general lithe build, they’re the same short height, cass has a short bob while tim has his baby mullet, their training is similar due to their backgrounds with lady shiva and the loa, and (depending on your headcanon) both waisan- so i can definitely see instances where they’re confused for each other or where they mess with everyone around them.

cass on patrol in red robin gear so tim can go on a date with bernard:

random thugs seconds away from being one hit k.o’d: yo since when did red robin start melting into the shadows like an eldritch horror?

jason: hey tim -

cass: wrong.

jason: no, im pretty sure you’re tim, i gave you that scar right there in your neck

cass: nu-uh, this is from cain

jason:

cass:

jason: well this got awkward…

steph hugging tim from behind: hey babe

tim: wrong wayne

steph: ew, i should’ve known, your ass isnt nearly as —

tim walking away with his fingers in his ears: lalalalala im not listening to you

damian: i think you’re the only one in this family i respect

tim who has been silently hanging out with him for the past 3 hours: aw thanks damian, i’ve come to love you like a brother too

damian: drake? i thought you were cassandra, my apologies, i retract my previous statement

tim: don’t care, you love me, don’t try to deny it

lady shiva hugging both tim and cass: my beautiful twins, such well trained weapons, unfortunate that you both ended up with cain

bruce pulling his children back: tim isnt yours…

shiva: well that cant be right, he’s s the spitting image of my sister carolyn, and that birth was far too painful to only produce one small child

tim: woah full circle, my drag-sona is called caroline, maybe you are my mom, i wouldn’t put it past janet drake to adopt

bruce: tim no, you’re not even the same type of asian

cass: too late, we’re blood

shiva: see!

[bruciemilf]

Okay. But when Bruce discovers Talia knew Jason was alive? That she knew his child was the man under the red hood. His boy.

Oh.

Jason’s met and memorized every facet of Bruce Wayne. He knows Bruce by the way his eyes melt when he looks at him, to the hard lines of his cowl. He knows where Bruce starts and Batman ends.

When Bruce rips off his cowl to give her the deepest glare Jason’s ever seen, he’s reminded there’s no difference. Fear hits his stomach when he swallows,

“Hey, old man, don’t fucking blame HER. She has NO obligation to you—“

Bruce’s eyes are unblinking, wide, jumping from her frozen form to him. And Jason’s suddenly 10 again, running from hungry stray dogs cornering him in a place with no exit.

Bruce’s voice is shadow and whisper, “Quiet.”

“…Okay.”

“Damian,” he rasps, pointing at the small figure with dark hair and green eyes, who looks at neither of them. He looks at Talia. Jason thinks it’s fair. He’s never seen her scared, either. “Car. Cave. Stay. “

There’s something incredibly bitter in Jason when he just does. Doesn’t ask. Doesn’t rebel. He wants to, with every fiber and matter and crumb in his body. And his body says no.

He grabs Damian like he’s an angry cat, not the small assassin he knew since he was born. He doesn’t look back. He doesn’t want to, he realizes.

“Did you know?” Bruce asks, such a deadly calm to him, too calm for the winter in his eyes. Talia would’ve preferred a blade to the neck.

She can’t meet his eye. Almost like if she doesn’t face his hatred, his disapproval, his disappointment, it doesn’t count. “I did. “

“…Whatever you do,” she’d take it as pity if he didn’t sound repulsed , “you’re still his daughter.”

[carnicer01]

Now the winner gets his prize! Come get your momma!

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

Tim’s workaholic tendencies are so funny. Imagine this boy is sooo high on pain meds and trying so desperately to type up a report but it’s just “the susspetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttggffggggggggg g gg. g” but bc he’s so out of it he’s like “i am doing so well at report writing” and so he submits it- confidentially might i add. Batman receives it like “this is obviously a coded message, my son needs help.”

[strawbuddy-luv]

(Trans) Tim: -Dramatic Sigh- Well you know Robin's always been a boy so I guess I just have to pretend to be a boy if I'm gonna be Robin now. -Yet another Dramatic Sigh- Oh well! I guess I'll do it for the sake of Gotham and Justice

Batman: You know it's ok if you don't want to, Robin can be a gi-

Tim: OH WELL GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO WEAR BOY CLOTHES AND GET A BOY HAIRCUT AND A BOY NAME AND TELL EVERYONE I'M A BOY AND BE CALLED A BOY-

[frownyalfred]

"That's all from Talia," Bruce says about a characteristic Damian absolutely, 100% inherited from him.

[clownzaf]

Tim is Janet Drake’s son left and right.

Tim HATES being Janet Drake’s son left and right.

Don’t get him wrong! He loves the woman but he would prefer… not… being her. She’s cold, manipulative and would not care about running you over if that’s the way to reach her goals.

Tim, sadly, is cold, manipulative and will not care about running you over if that’s the way to reach his goals.

It causes creeps in his family’s back every time that Timothy Jackson DRAKE shows up.

Bruce decides to show up to a broad meeting to see if his teenage son is doing good in his spot as CEO, and he almost leaves the room immediately when Tim starts to absolutely roast every decision ever made by Bruce or any other person in the room, with the most emotionless expression ever seen. It was all Janet Drake and Bruce was scared.

[p0ssym1lker]

Damian: where did the name Robin even come from?

Dick: oh it's what my mother called me but then Bruce just decided to call Jason it without asking

Jason, who very much did not know that:

Tim, who had his own theories:

Bruce, who is getting death stares from everyone: well-

[logicaldelta]

I know in my heart of hearts that crime alley kid Jason Todd wouldn't be able to hear anything about the food bought by Bruce and Alfred without having a heart attack over the fact that they aren't choosing the cheapest option

Bruce is out here buying expensive name brand bacon when the store brand stuff is RIGHT THERE ! Alfred goes out of his way to buy the MOST expensive fruits and vegetables. Even Dick will grab the name brand candy without hesitation

But Jason is a bargain hunter, and no, he won't buy a pear that costs more than 30 cents because that is THEFT.

Dick takes him to really fancy stores just to see how he reacts because Bruce thought he was insane for reacting the same way when he first came to the manor and this is vindicating for him, because dammit Bruce, i told you this wasn't "normal for most kids"!

He'll grab a few things after school one day and boast about how little they cost him (and if he stole a lolly pop or two, who needs to know? The corporations won't miss it)

It gets to a point where Bruce comes to prefer some no name items, primarily because Jason would bring them out on patrol and happily offer him some and the memories of those moments make the low quality food taste better

[ditzybat]

tim drake is the type of guy to drop random lore then walk away.

tim: ugh i hate baseball, it’s like, when you have to play it in order to save a whole planet once, every game after seem boring

dick: that’s not…

tim: only downside to that was how we almost totaled barts brand new spaceship

dick: what spaceship??

—

tim: oh, hi mom

shiva: hello timothy, how are you? still keeping up with your training i take it?

bruce: mother? she’s not your —

shiva: let’s spar then timothy, let’s leave it strictly non lasting injuries, i don’t rather feel like dying by your hand again today

tim: of course!! ^-^

bruce: again?

—

tim: man i forgot to take my meds again

duke: your meds for what?

tim: i have no spleen, so i have to take probiotics, it really is manageable but i dont know where those pills went

duke: i’m almost scared to ask, tim, how did you lose your spleen?

tim: weird spider dude, it was a whole thing

—

tim: you talk a lot of shit for someone who got replaced as heir to your immortal grandfathers empire by me

damian: you what!?

tim: i regularly beat his ass at online chess every week too, and i don’t think you’ve seen him since he stole your corpse

—

tim: here

jason: what’s this?

tim: a box of all the photos i took when i obsessively stalked you for your entire tenure as robin

jason: thanks?

tim: you’re welcome, bye!

jason: … creepy ass kid…

—

steph: so how did you to get together?

bernard: well —

tim: i saved him from a getting cut open by chaos monster cult members

bernard: yep, i was rescued from being a vessel for a greek god, and we just really clicked afterwards

steph: well, it’s better than the brick

[bruciemilf]

Bruce who forgets he can’t just. Pick Jason up as easily as before.

Jason will get injured, — he hates ankle wounds; they’re not like shoulder wounds, which are his favorite.

They’re pesky, and tiny but powerful, like Damian, — and Bruce casually walks up to him, tries lifting him by the armpits. One time? No go. Two times? No. The third time, he cracks his neck and does it.

Other times, Jason pretends to be asleep in the Batmobile so Bruce would carry him. Bruce forces himself not to mention Jason can’t sleep without his Wonder Woman bear.

[on-the-clear-blue]

An idea that just popped into my brain...

Bernard, in the house boat living room, typing away on his computer, looks up when Tim enters: Oh, Babe your home early? Was patrol okay....ehst do you have.

Tim, tearing off his Red Robin outfit and holding something in his arms: So you know about that super evil, super old guy that runs an eco-friendly murder cult that is like super obsessed with me?

Bernard, closing his laptop and sighing: Do I have to move? Do what ever witness protection shit you superheros have?

Tim, humming and shaking his head before holding out what looks to be a bundle of clothing:No no...it seems he somehow found out about us dating and me planning to propose yo you and sent an early wedding gift.

Tim shifting the cloth to show a sleeping baby: Say hello to our child, I don't know just yet how he got both of our DNA but I did run a test and he is 100% ours, I think he used Lexs stuff like how he made Kon..

Bernard, staring at the baby and his rapidly undressing boyfriend who was rambling: Wait...propose? You wanted to get married?

Tim, still going on: -Lexs cloning tech is pretty hit or miss, *my* gear waz based on that but was...Wait you didn't know? I...I thought you have been hinting at it for a while...that's what I planned for next weeks date night.

Bernard, mouth agape: I haven't. Like at all, I mean, I will say yes because we now have a kid and I love you a lot but it would have taken me by surprise.

Tim, midly surprised: Huh...well anyways, Ra's sent us a child? I was thinking Alvin is a good name?

Bernard: Fuck that I am not going to have my son named after a chipmunk.

[batcavescolony]

Robin&Nightwing: *out on patrol*

Robin: My girlfriends pregnant

Nightwing: *falls off the roof top* WHAT!

Robin: yeah, I hope she does ok, I'm all for whatever she wants.

Nightwing: *crawling up the wall while panicking*

Robin: -it's not my kid.

Nightwing: WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAD WITH THAT!

Robin: it's what she would have wanted.

---later---

Robin: and then Nightwing face planted off the building.

Stephanie: oh that's great 💀 do it with Batman next!

[brie-annwyl]

So I just re blogged a post that made me think about this.

All the batboys look more like their moms than their fathers in some way.

Tim and Jason HATE IT with a burning passion. Both for different reasons of course. Tim (as the post that inspired this) is hauntingly beautiful. Just like his mother was and he is so thankful he wasn’t born a girl because he knows he would hate his looks even more than he does now.

Jason literally died because of her, she sold him off to the joker for a chance to escape. This man has MOTHER ISSUES in the biggest block letters you can imagine. Dick made the mistake of saying “she’s obviously who you get your good looks from.” And Jason refused to speak to him for weeks.

Dick will never admit it but he’s forgotten what his parents looked like before they died, he says he looks like the perfect mix of both of them when in reality he’s his mothers carbon copy and he just doesn’t remember it.

Damian is the child that actually looks like a perfect mix of his parents. He looks like a young Bruce but when standing next to Talia a lot of people would say he just looks like a masculine version of her. He takes pride in it and secretly loves it when Bruce makes a comment like “you look so much like your mom when you make that face.”

Bruce knows he looks like his mom, he just refuses to admit it. For years after she died he would see himself in the mirror and see her and it physically pained him. Now when he looks in the mirror, he sees Damian.