#Because that's a hilarious combo of their names

[twistmusings]

Navel-Gazing - Jade and Azul

CW: Friends-to-FWB/Lovers, Mentions of Alcohol, Assumes Twisted Wonderland's legal drinking age is 18 but that alcohol is prohibited on campus grounds, mentions of codependence (not in a romantic relationship), mentions of sibling bonds and family issues, feelings of abandonment, mentions of Floyd being in an off-screen relationship. Long as all hell, this is really more of a drabble than a headcanon list womp womp.

At the start of their “relationship”, neither Azul nor Jade were looking for a partner. In fact, the both of them were pretty solidly in the “I don’t want to be tied down when I have something else I have to focus on” camp because they were both preparing to graduate from Night Raven College at that point and are starting to figure out how to go and do their own things. They were both just confirmed for their internships and were planning how they wanted to move forward with their adult lives. They really didn’t have time for a full relationship.

What ended up driving them closer together was, surprisingly, Floyd starting to date someone. That might sound surprising, but the reality was that Jade wasn’t prepared for how different his life would be when his clingy sibling decided not to be around him nearly as much.

Jade would never admit it aloud, but he got lonely. Floyd and he had been together basically every day most of the day since they were fry. They shared a dorm room, even. Being that used to having someone around him at most times meant that when Floyd suddenly wasn’t there to spend time with (read: pester with his nonsense at all times of night), he found it harder to function in general. He often found himself going to say something to Floyd only to remember he’d gone out. He also found it harder to sleep when he was entirely alone-- as it turns out, his instincts had grown attuned to always having someone there he trusted to help keep him safe so now that there wasn’t, he’s on high alert.

In addition to that, Azul began to rely more on Jade for day-to-day tasks. Floyd was spending less of his free time at Mostro Lounge and Octavinelle, so of course Azul would turn to the other person he trusted to handle ‘delicate’ matters. This often led to jade taking on more of the errand-based tasks that Floyd would normally be sent on to work off his energy. 

Jade was… snippy. Or, truthfully, more snide than he usually was. Azul had noticed this, and this made the tension between them start to grow. Azul felt uneasy-- thinking this was a warning sign that Jade would be not long from abandoning him as well, and the thought of being entirely alone sets him on edge.

“I see.” Jade replies, though Azul notes the clipped sound of agitation in his voice. Really, Azul is positively sick of whatever had gotten into Jade, so he shoots Azul a glare. Jade acts like such a brat at times-- like Azul isn’t also struggling with Floyd not being there. For the sake of the Sea Witch, he was balancing his studies for finals, his business, preparing study guides, rearranging his workloads, trying to get in contact with high profile companies for the sake of his internship AND he wasn’t letting his attitude get the best of him!

"Is that a problem, Jade?"

"Hmm." However slight, Azul notices the way that Jade frowns as if he's got a bitter taste in his mouth. "I simply don't think it is the best use of my talents."

Azul sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Jade, you know I would never trust someone other than you with something so important, right?" Azul says, intending to continue that thought, but before he can continue Jade cuts in.

"That isn't true and we both know it. I’ve never been the person you’ve asked to do this before."

The implication hangs heavy in the air-- that Azul is replacing Floyd with Jade. Azul looks up at Jade, surprised, but Jade’s expression is entirely unreadable at the moment. Azul takes a moment to gather himself and brace for whatever argument Jade is trying to start though he really would like to do nothing more than to rise and meet Jade’s antagonism. That particular idea would be unwise. He’s not in his mer-form so he stands little chance against someone Jade’s size.

"What is this about, Jade?" He asks, measuredly, needing to hear Jade explain precisely what had gotten under his skin-- he's leaving no room for misunderstandings.

"This is something you would normally ask Floyd to do. I simply don't understand why it's necessary to ask me."

And that's all it takes for Azul to be at the end of his patience. Perhaps the situation was wearing more on Azul than he had thought.

“Jade, you can see as well as I can that Floyd isn’t here right now. I can’t ask him to do it.” Azul drops the pen that he had been holding unceremoniously onto the stack of papers in front of him, instead clasping his hands in front of him to try and squeeze the frustration out before he does something foolish with that energy. He levels Jade with a stern stare. “I wouldn’t be asking him to do this regardless. I trust your judgment and discretion in this situation more than I would Floyd’s. So what, precisely, is the problem? Do you want higher pay? A favor? What is it?”

Jade looks at Azul, eyes widening fractionally, then he seems to remember himself, taking a slow breath.

"I don't need more pay-- I certainly wouldn't say no, of course--" Azul rolls his eyes at Jade's aside. "--I simply fail to see why this warrants my attention. What you’ve asked me to do is, effectively, grunt work. You know I prefer not to get my hands dirty if I can help it, so whatever it is that has you so worried, I can’t understand why you need me to do it.”

Azul scrubs a hand down his face. 

“Fine.” Azul says through gritted teeth. “I suspect that some of the employees are skimming money from the lounge by not cashing things out properly. I trust you to keep a keen eye on your surroundings and report back to me. Not to ‘beat the tar’ out of them. I am trying to gather enough evidence to file a report to the Headmage.” Azul explains it carefully, almost as if he’s trying to break it down to a child. Jade might have felt condescended to were he not so shocked at the revelation that someone would be brave and foolhardy enough to try to cut into the profits of Azul of all people.

“The last thing I need is for Floyd to run in and get himself into trouble because of his temper.” Azul finishes. Jade nods thoughtfully, frowning, but seems unconvinced. Azul sighs heavily. "How about I reward you? Whatever you'd like so long as it doesn't cut into the profits of the lounge egregiously."

That seemed to perk Jade up.

"Anything?" Jade ventures, tentatively. He pauses to think for a moment, then asks; "Must I decide what I want now?"

"Whenever you'd like, so long as you give me the time to prepare the materials."

Jade watches Azul carefully, as if waiting for further stipulation before nodding.

"Very well. Give me three days, I will gather all the information you need."

Jade succeeds, of course. There’s no way he wouldn’t given the stakes. It’s rare that he has the upper hand on Azul fully and even rarer that Azul offers it willingly.

Azul, on the other hand, is cursing himself for that exact thing: he can’t believe he gave Jade full control like that. He might trust Jade with his life and his finances, but he doesn’t trust him with his dignity.

Azul steeples his fingers.

“So, Jade, have you decided what you would like?” Azul ventures, trying not to let his tension show through in his voice. He is, apparently, unsuccessful, as Jade smirks at him broadly.

“I have.” He replies, though he doesn’t expand on the thought, thoroughly enjoying Azul’s discomfort at what he doesn’t know. The silence extends longer, and Jade’s grin only seems to grow.

“Well, are you planning on sharing with the class?” Azul ventures.

“I would like…” Jade begins, though he pauses rather theatrically, drawing out the tension the way one might for a crowd at the circus rather than for the impatient cephalopod before him.

"...Yes?"

"For you..."

Jade attempts to pause again, but Azul preempts him.

"Get on with it Jade, I don't have all night for histrionics."

Jade sighs, feigning disappointment with a shrug.

"...I’d like for you to make me my favorite meal."

“...” Azul's guard drops for a moment, showing his unveiled surprise. However, within moments, it's back and he's eyeing Jade suspiciously. "That’s it? You're positive? You could have nearly anything you'd like and that's what you want?"

"Quite." 

Azul still seems to expect a trap.

"You just want me to make you Octopus Carpaccio? That's really it?" He asks, and Jade merely smiles broadly and nods. "...Why?"

"Why?"

"Yes, why? What's your angle?"

Jade's smile widens.

"I'd like you to take the night off and give me your company." Jade states, simply.

Jade gets the pleasure of getting to watch the cogs begin to turn in Azul’s head. Azul has always had a distaste for taking time off, no matter how ill or infirmed he may be. He always says that coming back to work will only make for twice the work to be done in half the time.

“It’s been quite some time since I’ve gotten a chance to fully monopolize your time for myself, and if I have a reason to get you into the kitchen I’d be a fool not to take it. You have exacting tastes, after all.” Jade explains, his brows lifting as he grins.

Despite him not being particularly keen on the arrangement, Azul can’t quite keep himself from preening at the compliment.

"You know me well." Azul replies, trying to fight the smile that threatens to curl the corners of his lips. "My mother would have nothing but the best, so of course I have a taste for good food."

“And that’s precisely why I would like to steal you for myself for an evening.”

"No... Fair enough. Far be it from me to tell you what to do with your gift. Consider it a deal."

Jade, for his part, is surprisingly chipper in the span between then and their dinner together. Dare I say he was even a bit excited. He doesn’t realize it, but part of that is because he is looking forward to not having to spend the night by himself in total silence.

Azul does set the time aside for Jade. In fact, he goes above and beyond what is asked. Azul never does things in half measures, and it’s good to repay kindness with kindness. That’s simply good business sense. Azul is a great cook, to put it frankly. He rarely utilizes the skill because he focuses more on the business aspects of the lounge, but he knows his way around the kitchen quite well. It is a rare treat, indeed, to get a handmade dinner by Azul.

On top of that, Azul reserves the private room of the lounge. (That one is mostly selfish-- he doesn’t want to be bothered if they are going to have dinner and a night off. Besides, if they were interrupted, Azul had no doubt Jade would leverage it into a do-over if the night isn’t perfect.) He even goes so far as to procure a bright, fruity red wine to pair with the main course. (He has to sneak it in; he highly doubts that the Headmage would be too keen on him having alcohol on campus regardless of the fact that they are of drinking age.)

Jade is… impressed. He had been sort of riding on the knowledge that Azul doesn’t know how to not take things to ten and he’s not disappointed.

Azul has some… realizations in rapid succession when Jade shows up. See, Azul has always been aware he wasn’t precisely what landfolk would call straight. He’s never really cared much to label it because that’s pretty uncommon under the sea. And he’s always known objectively that Jade was handsome. He’s tall, broad shouldered, has sharp features, and is charming. However, it wasn’t until right about then that he managed to piece together that the two things were even remotely connected. He very nearly drops the 24,000 Thaumark bottle of wine because he fumbles it when Jade walks in.

Azul files it away under something he’s going to deal with later (read: never).

What had made Azul fumble the bottle was seeing how Jade was dressed. Jade has a handful out outfits that Azul has seen-- the uniform for the school, the formal clothes he wears to work in the lounge, the climbing gear he wears when he’s preparing for a weekend excursion to go scale a mountain or whatever he does in his club-- but he can’t recall a time that he’s seen Jade dressed down. He looked as though he was ready for a date, really. It’s not even that different from what he usually wears, but regardless it makes Azul’s palms sweat. He’s got dress pants and one of his white button-ups on, but the cuffs of his shirt are rolled up to his elbows and the top couple of buttons of his shirt are undone just enough to show a bit of his collarbone.

Azul absolutely curses his attraction to people with their sleeves rolled up. He really tries to pin it entirely on that-- it’s not the first time he’s noticed it on someone but it is the first time he’s noticed it on Jade. There is no reason a silly shirt should be making him feel like this when he’s seen Jade without clothes entirely in their mer-forms hundreds of times. It takes him several seconds to get a grip on himself.

Their dinner has been nice. Jade is quite pleased to be able to eat Azul’s cooking, and Azul seems to have relaxed and unwound a little bit. They have both been nursing a single glass of wine all night, just enough to toast their upcoming internships.

“... I admit, I’m a bit surprised that you and Floyd decided to go to different places for your internships.” Azul says, humming at the thought as he sips at the wine. “You two normally come as a set.”

Jade glances toward Azul, wondering if he knows what a landmine of a topic he’d just brought up. He quickly diverts his gaze back to the remaining few ounces of wine as it swirls around the sides of the glass, attempting to distract himself. He’s uncharacteristically quiet for a moment.

They did typically come as a pair, didn’t they? Well, they had come as a pair-- after all, they were already beginning to grow more separate with Floyd spending more time making plans with his partner than he did in their own dorm. They weren’t going to be glued to each other for their entire lives-- they would have to learn their independence sooner or later, right? It simply made sense that they would go to separate places for a few months. Learning how to be by themselves would be healthy for both of them.

“...Jade?” Azul asks. His voice snaps Jade out of the thought that’s preoccupying him, and he looks over at Azul once more.

“Yes, well, it will be good for the both of us to learn to be more independent. It’s already starting to happen, you know? I get the feeling you’ll be seeing more of me on my own.” Jade replies, trying for an unaffected tone. However, Azul seems to see right through him, and for a brief moment, Jade feels uncomfortably seen. Jade wishes he wouldn’t look at him like that-- like he can see right through him.

“You seem lonely.” Azul begins, tentatively, as if he’s not quite sure how Jade will react to his words. “Floyd’s new relationship… has made you feel left behind, hasn’t it?”

Hearing it laid out plainly like that, Jade isn’t sure how he’s meant to respond to that. It feels… silly. Realistically he knows his brother is just excited to have a partner in his life who accepts him with open arms and who clicks with him. It’s not like he’s cut Jade off cold contact-- not anything of the sort. In fact, there would be little either of them could do to permanently sever the close sibling bond they’ve had for years, and Jade has no intention of trampling on whatever happiness Floyd has found or will find. That being said… It's certainly a change not having Floyd around to fill the silence or to be a sounding board for whatever thoughts wander into his mind.

Azul gives him a pitying look, and Jade decides that he hates that look infinitely more than he hated the look that made him feel like Azul knew him through and through.

“...I’m sorry, Jade. You deserve to be happy, too.” Azul adds, voice lowered, like he’s speaking to a scared animal. Jade wants to flinch, but instead he merely closes his eyes pensively.

“Don’t misunderstand, Azul, I’m not unhappy. I’m not particularly keen on the idea of a relationship right now, either. I don’t really have eyes for anyone at the moment who I think would reciprocate.” Jade replies quietly, voice measured but audibly uncomfortable at having to express the emotion out loud. “I always knew that Floyd and I wouldn’t be side by side forever, I simply wasn’t prepared for it to happen so soon. It’s… a difficult adjustment when you’ve been around someone since you were a fry.”

“That’s understandable, though I hope you know that he still cares about you. He is your brother, even if he is a bit… preoccupied with other things at the moment.” Azul attempts to comfort, though he seems just as out of his element with this as Jade is. It almost makes Jade want to ask him why he continued to press the matter if neither of them wanted to be having this conversation. His fingers scratch awkwardly at the back of his neck. “I know it’s not the same but I am still here for you, as well.”

Jade can’t help but to laugh, shooting Azul a wry smirk.

“Somehow I doubt that latching onto you in the absence of my brother wouldn’t be much of a solution at all.”

Azul flushes slightly, trying to keep himself from frowning and only earning another laugh from Jade that he reaches to cover a second too late.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“I know what you meant. I simply suppose that I will have to learn to be more independent. And if that fails, then I’ll desperately fall back on you.” Jade says with a grin. Azul gives him a surprised look for a moment, and then laughs along with him. Azul hadn’t expected him to bounce back from his dour mood quite so quickly.

“Well, no, I suppose that wouldn’t help much. I’ll admit you’ve never really struck me as the codependent type, though. You’re not entirely reliant on your brother, are you?” Azul tips back the last of his wine.

Jade’s grin grows wicked in the way it always does when he’s about to say something to make Azul suffer.

"I don't suppose you would like to find out, would you?"

Azul chokes on his drink, and Jade can't quite hide his thinly veiled delight at being able to elicit the scandalized look that comes to Azul’s face.

"And what precisely would that entail?" Azul coughs

Jade feels like he must not have heard that right. That was not at all the reaction that he had expected-- he’d expected vehement denial. His eyes widened fractionally in realization. Surely that can’t be right, right?

"Oh." Jade replies, intelligently, the singular syllable being the only sound to pass between the two of them for a moment. Jade swallows thickly, having to quickly recalibrate and rearrange the thoughts in his mind. He looks down at the last of the wine in his glass, considering, before downing it in a single, large gulp. He clears his throat, setting the glass aside and using that as an excuse to avoid Azul’s expectant gaze.

 He replies, the singular syllable the only sound that passes between the two for a moment. Jade swallows thickly, again looking down at the last of the wine in his glass, considering, before he downs it in in a single, large gulp.

“I don’t sleep particularly well when I’m in a room alone.” Jade says it, then seems surprised by his own admission. He’s nowhere near inebriated enough for it to warrant the sort of unfiltered emotion to be pouring out of his mouth like this. It’s an uncomfortable thing to divulge, and the mere mention of it makes him feel sort of pathetic. “We’ve shared a room for years now. I find it hard to fall asleep now that I’m alone. It just…feels like something is wrong. Like something is missing. I think, perhaps, it’s my instincts putting me on edge because I have no one looking out for me when I’m most vulnerable.”

Azul blinks at him blankly, and then he is the one who gives Jade a shark-like grin, as if this is fun for him.

“Awe, what do you miss most? Waking up to Floyd looming over you at three A.M.? Or maybe it’s how he picks fights with people in his sleep? Oh-oh, or is it holding the pillow over his mouth when he snores?” Azul’s tone is positively tickled, earning a roll of the eyes from Jade.

It is decidedly less fun to be on this side of the teasing. For some that might have meant that they would knock it off next time, but for Jade it merely meant that he would be sure to be positively insufferable the next time Azul embarrasses himself.

Azul, seeming to have gotten his fill, trails off. For a moment, Jade meets his gaze, and Azul takes that chance to examine him thoroughly. Jade resists the urge to squirm, feeling like a lab specimen being examined. Azul is one of the only people he would tolerate that from.

“Do you need someone to be there with you?” Azul asks lowly, as if there’s anyone around to overhear him, tone entirely sober. Jade is surprised once again, looking at Azul in silence.

How is he meant to take that offer? Jade truly can’t tell if his suspicion is on base, but it feels like Azul is hitting on him, and as reluctant as he would be to admit it, the thought makes a heat creep into his stomach. He swallows again, though this time there’s no wine to try and cover it up.

“That would depend on what was being offered…”

"You know a good businessman never makes the first offer."

Jade considered his options carefully. Azul is a friend. This is not something he should be doing, he knows it would be foolish, but… if this is happening, he doesn’t think he can deny himself the chance. If Azul backs down he’ll have his answer, and hopefully if he does it will serve as a reminder for Azul not to toy with his emotions.

“Believe me, Azul, I’m well aware that you’re a sharp businessman. You’re incredibly persistent when you put your mind to something. I’d never underestimate you like that.” Jade’s tone is unfamiliar to himself, assertive, low, and dark as he rather shamelessly flirts right back with Azul. He lays an arm across the back of the booth that they’re sitting in and he leans closer into Azul’s space. “But a good businessman knows how to make the first offer when they need to. So, why don’t you try making me an offer I won’t refuse?”

It has the intended effect, and Jade feels a small thrill that maybe he shouldn’t as he watches the redness rise into Azul’s cheeks. In spite of that, Azul smirks.

“That’s what I like to hear. You really do pick up on the ins and outs of making deals when I use my unique magic, don’t you?” Azul laughs. He shifts himself, leaning into Jade, rather than away. “Tell me this, then, if you got whatever you wanted from tonight, what would it be?”

Oh dear. Well, it seems his intuition is right-- Azul seems surprisingly keen on this. He’s suddenly thankful for Azul’s foresight to reserve them the private room, because it means he doesn’t have to worry about someone barging into their conversation-- if someone interrupted them right now, Jade just might snap.

“I want a lot of things.” Jade admits, his voice practically a purr. There’s something almost possessive to his tone of voice. “I’m a bit torn, really.”

“Isn’t that a shame. Why not tell me? I’ll humor you. Maybe I’ll be able to help you sort your thoughts.” This time, it’s Azul’s turn to swallow, his gaze that has been holding steadily this entire time darts toward Jade’s lips as the heat in his face only continues to grow. It’s brief, but Jade doesn’t miss it.

“You want to kiss me.” Jade says-- it’s not really a question, nor is it a statement. It’s a realization, and Jade sounds a little giddy with it. “So what are you waiting for?”

The prompting seems to be all it takes, as Azul surges forward, closing the gap between them. Jade feels a flood of something warm into his chest as Azul kisses him, and something entirely different settles into his stomach. Azul’s kiss is eager-- borderline desperate, really-- and Jade allows him to squirm closer, encouraging him by placing his hands onto Azul’s waist.

It’s intense. Jade has had a few brief kisses in passing, but nothing that has felt quite like this-- nothing that makes heat creep along his skin and makes him itch with desire to pull Azul closer because he can’t get close enough. Azul seems to mirror his enthusiasm, adjusting the tilt of his head and deepening the kiss easily once Jade allows him.

It’s only once one of Jade’s hands creeps to the back of him, dipping a bit lower to--

“Jade! What--” Azul breaks the kiss abruptly, startling backwards from him with a squawk. His face is intensely flushed, a sight that Jade admires as he falters with his words. “Did you just goose me!?”

Jade giggles, a fond but impish wide grin splitting his face.

“Apologies. I’ve always found it rather cute, and I admit I was a bit curious how it would feel since it’s a rather recent development.” Jade is thoroughly amused. Azul merely scoffs, shaking his head, though he doesn’t seem too truly offended, considering he flops forward, attempting to hide his blush in Jade’s shoulder.

“You are a menace.”

[sunbedo]

Hey guys. gay rights

[aouiaa]

[✶] — YOUTUBER!ELLIE HEADCANNONS

DISCLAIMERS & WARNINGS — EIGHTEEN PLUS, Mentions of pooping + Cursing (Girl cursing like she just learned) + Mention of hand pics (I think that’s it).

AUTHORS NOTE, took fucking forever to make that image, but i love it. — inspo layout: @andersonfilms :3

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who is blatantly honest on youtube. It’s scary.

She’s playing a random indie video game she found on steam, and giving her commentary as usual. Until there’s a sudden cut and she’s now in different clothes than the previous and she goes on to explain why.

“Hey, guys. Sorry, I had to take a massive shit, but guess who survived? This guy!” she says with a comical smile while pointing at herself before unpausing the game and playing as if nothing happened.

But for some reason, Youtuber!Ellie can’t let go that she pooped.

“But yeah, guys, like, shit, that fucker was begging to come out, so I’m sorry if I was acting different. I was clenching my asshole.”

How charming….ANYWAYS.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s videos who have these stupid sound effects or pop-up memes for certain scenes.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie having a resting bitch face when she’s focused.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who cusses too much even in her intro, she’s literally cussing.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who got a warning from YouTube themselves for it.

Imaging Youtuber!Ellie who literally said “Fuck that, I’m not following Youtube’s rules.” and continued cussing until she realized that she was getting less ads on her videos to which she decided to do a test. To see if her subscribers would notice if she did a full video, not cursing.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s laughing while reading the comments on the video.

DarthVaderfan101: “Yo, y’all noticed how Ellie didn’t cuss once?”

Quacketyquack12: “Great vid btw no cussing?! THAT’S A FIRST!”

Elliesprettygirl: Sooo when’s our wedding?

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who does eventually swallows her pride and abides by Youtube’s rules.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie whose user is some cringe 2011 based name; Ellieswolfgang.

God, I can just fucking imagine Youtuber!Ellie intro and how it would correlate with the user.

“Yo! What’s up my little wolves! *Queue the wolf howling* We are back with another video and today we’re playing another puppet combo game!”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who thinks it’s too hilarious, and doesn’t change the username. And it’s always funny to see people every now and then comment about it.

Iloveellieswolfgang: “Woah, are we apart of your pack or something?”

Ellieswolfgang: Yeah, if you’re subscribed then you’re a part of the gang.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has the most funniest responses when replying to fans.

Wolfgangnation: “Yo, Ellieswolfgang! 👋”

Ellieswolfgang: “Yo, Wolfgangnation!”

Dyk3ang3l: AHHHH I LITERALLY JUMPED WHEN I SAW YOUR NOTIFICATION POP UP ON MY PHONE JEHDBSHAS

Ellieswolfgang: Ma’am, this is a library.

les4elliewilliams: So why is your name, Ellieswolfgang?

Ellieswolfgang: I don’t know, les4elliewilliams. Why is yours, les4elliewilliams?

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who wakes up at the asscrack of dawn—her words—to make Youtube videos, and edits them before eight am.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who is known for her out of pocket humor.

“That isn’t a guy! That’s an ass with eyes!”

“GodDAMN, that bitch can lick three assholes from that tongue.”

Imaging Youtuber!Ellie who asks her followers on twitter to send her funny videos or scary videos to react to.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who flinched so hard while watching a scary video a subscriber sent, she fell off her chair.

Gamerpro121: “Surprised she didn’t fall off her chair this time LMAOO

Ellieswolfgang: Literally the lowest point in my life… 💔

Gamerpro121: Oh shit, sorry man.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has to explain her jokes from time to time because some boomer doesn’t get it.

Ellieswolfgang: No, not actually. 😭 nvm..

Gamerpro121: Oh…OHHHH

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was shocked when her merch quickly sold out after minutes of it just being released.

“Holy fuck, thank you guys for selling out my merch?! Didn’t expect that shit to happen! Man, y’all attacked it like flies attacking shit!”

Charming as always…

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who sometimes blogs, showing her day to day life, going to the gym, running errands, rating foods from restaurants, etc.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who reacts to edits her fans make of her and is also shocked how many people love her hands.

“Woah, fuck youtube, Ima start selling hand pics. Missing the real bag here.”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who collabs with her best friend Jesse, playing GTA, Minecraft, cod, and whatever games that her subscribers suggest since they love their dynamic.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s fans who love her dynamic with Jesse because they’re always talking shit to each other.

“You dumbass! That guy was right in front of you!” Ellie yells at Jesse who just got them killed during a 1v1 on Fortnite.

“How is this my fault? It’s not my fault, you suck!”

“Says you! A blind three year old can play better than you.”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who makes a video reading hate comments.

Allthegirlslove: “Ellie looks like she smells like shit!”

“Well…Allthegirlslove, new flash, All the girls don’t love you because they’re too busy watching my videos.” She says with a smirk, “And new flash,” she stops and sniffles herself, “I just shower before making this video, thank you very much.”

The video cuts and starts again of her showing the cologne she uses, “This is what I use, buy one and spray it in ya ass!”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who actually dresses to impress when she’s about to record a new video.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has her serious moments on the channel and that’s when the true love and support come into light. And she is truly grateful for the fans who can put the joking aside and just be there for her.

Youtuber!Ellie who genuinely loves how far her channel has come since she first started, and genuinely appreciates everyone who helped her meet her milestones.

FIRST PART - NEXT PART

TAGLIST ; @dyk3ang3l, @elliesprettygirl, @les4elliewilliams, @ellies2fingers, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @marsworlddd, @bready101

ELLIES TAGLIST ; @herelieskrisy, @mikellie, @slaysksmska, @mina-281, @teawithnosugar, @kitkatkittycat111

[mysterycitrus]

how much of your origin for dick is canon and how much of it are your own interpretations? wrt the interpretations, what inspired you to include them?

sooo it’s like a combo of stuff. i subscribe mostly to the backstory we get in dark victory, combined with the retcon from nightwing 96 #11 where dick spends some time in witsec/juvie before getting adopted by bruce. i try to mostly add on or extrapolate on what already exists in canon — like my interpretation of martha waynes pearls as an example — and a lot of that comes in from filling the substantial blanks in mary and johns characterisation

ive said before but i personally prefer that dick isn’t american and is actually, explicitly, a romani character who’s forcibly removed from his community by both trauma and the american legal system. i think it reflects consistently with how he’s written as a teen and adult — he literally finds community everywhere, even if he doesn’t want it, and possesses interpersonal skills that bruce can’t match — but also like…. provides more consistent motivation behind him becoming robin. the idea that possessing physical artefacts of the deceased is discouraged because of spiritual practise makes sense when u think about how dick tangibly honours his parents with the robin mantle. thusly, it makes even more sense why he’d later take the nightwing name to honour clark and the new connections in his life, yknow?

idk i try not to discard canon wholesale for him because he’s sooo foundational for legit every other character in that canon, and changing anything substantially affects everything else. there’d be no tim if tim hadn’t been at the circus that night and didn’t remember dicks kindness. none of the other kids would’ve been adopted if bruce hadn’t seen his own grief reflected in another child losing his parents on a stage. on and on it goes

the only hill i die on is that he’s french and that’s because i think it’s hilarious

[mxrcurysb1tch]

Sun and moon combo observations!

DISCLAIMER: this is my personal opinion based on my observations and people I know irl. If you don’t agree then you’re entitled to your opinion but don’t come at me xo

Libra sun, Aries moon- Oh man you guys are DYNAMIC especially socially. You run with so many different circles and somehow still manage to remember everyone’s name and balance everything perfectly, You have about a billion hobbies and projects on the go. It’s quite admirable. You have your fingers in all of the pies. Very extroverted and a lot of fun. You can be a bit blunt at times but the Libra sun helps to smooth over the worst of it.

Virgo sun, Libra moon- You guys come off as serious and “put together” but to your friends you’re really just a giggly, smiley ball of energy. You rarely overindulge in things and you probably know your limits fairly well. You’re likely pretty popular and have many different friends because of your playful nature and inherent understanding of social rules. Despite being able to charm anyone though, you probably prefer hanging around with the “weirdos” rather than the popular kids, because after all they are more fun.

Aquarius sun, Capricorn moon- You have a unique but hilarious sense of humour. You’re probably fairly introverted but you’re pretty good at making small talk and being around people if needed. You probably don’t push the boat out far in terms of your fashion choices, preferring to wear black and dark colours, but the pieces you do choose always look very cool nonetheless. You’re interested in some pretty weird or unconventional stuff but you don’t dare show anyone. You’re probably pretty artistic and creative too and have a keen eye. You’re not much one for casual relationships and although you may appear hap-hazardous at times, you’re actually pretty careful.

Capricorn sun, Sagittarius moon- I’ll admit it, you’re pretty funny. You also appreciate other people’s humour even if it’s different to your own. Thing is, you’re not as misunderstood as you think you are. You’re actually pretty easy to read. You have a pretty good balance between being serious and having fun. Compared to other sag moon combos you’re not as much of an escapist but you are fairly conflict avoidant and can be quite difficult to deal with sometimes. Despite this though, you’re such a good laugh and deep down a good person that even if you act out a lot, people will still want to keep you around.

Gemini sun, Leo moon- You’re so unintentionally funny. Sometimes you may come across as annoying. You tend to live in the moment but you know how to be serious when it’s something that really matters to you. You do what you want, when you want to do it. You will talk to anyone about anything but sometimes you can be pretty elusive. You love a good party, a good time, anything to get yourself living in the moment. You can be pretty avoidant though and rarely admit to anyone when things aren’t going so well.

Sagittarius sun, Gemini moon- You’re a bit of a risk taker. You’ve probably ended up in the hospital a few times after doing something dumb. You have a kind of “everywhere all at once” type of vibe to you. Despite being super extroverted you probably, surprisingly, view yourself as quiet and awkward but this is not something that people see about you unless they know you very well.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hopefully this doesn't come off as snarky, but I find it genuinely hilarious that every "big-name" Leona fan that I've seen seems to like him against their will lol. I've always had Leona as my favorite, so it's fun to see the journey other people go through to liking/appreciating him!

Look 💦 I can’t speak for other L*ona likers (regardless of size, honestly; I'm a firm believer that one's level of internet fame isn't a factor in the devotion for a character) but for me—to quote Scar—“my words are a matter of pride.” And by confessing to (ick 🤢) LIKING LION… it’s throwing all that pride out of a window. It seriously does feel like these feelings exist against my will.

I have a summary of my story to explain my relationship with the lion lore 💀 I call it a summary, but it’s still kind of long— It's below the cut for those who are interested!

To begin with, the promotional materials didn’t sell me on him. Everything about how he initially presents—from his arrogance to his “tough/bad boy” design (seriously, that biker-cowboy combo of his dorm uniform is SO ugly and shows way too much skin for my liking���)—was so unappealing to me. He seemed exactly like the kind of character and tropes I tend to dislike. The only “good” thing I saw in him was his face (which, ironically, is what Vil says about him) and maybe his UM chant particularly the line where he demands you kneel before him. Then comes along book 2, which is easily the weakest of the main story and does a HUGE disservice to him, making L*ona seem a lot stupider than he actually is. At that point, I had basically written his entire character off. I claimed to all my Twst friends that there was nothing that would ever make me like him.

Around 2022, I decided to get involved in a round of EBG (Epic Bias Game) which is basically like a test of your will?? You’re supposed to compete with your friends to see who can go for the longest without talking about or acknowledging their oshi (which includes not being able to react to fan works of them). As part of EBG, each participant was randomly assigned a “new oshi” to replace the usual one AND GUESS WHAT, I GOT HANDED L*ONA BY THE WHEEL OF FATE 💀

One of my friends (who knew I hardcore hated him at the time) assured me that this would get me to change my mind. They even went out of their way to write a little story explaining how my OC was forced to spend more time with L*ona, which led me into writing interactions between them to build more of the lore. I managed to outlast the friend in EBG, but didn’t win the entire game. I came out of it not really feeling super different about L*ona, but I think forcing myself to write about him extensively helped me gain a little more perspective on his character. I still didn’t like him, but I at least appreciated his presence in the cast a little more.

AND THEN TWST HAD TO COME AND BASH ME OVER THE HEAD WITH L*ONA CONTENT… All the little vignettes and voice lines where other characters would talk about what a good leader he is (*glares at Epel, Jack, Ruggie, Savanaclaw mobs, etc.*), when he sarcastically claims to be a “delicate prince” or a “lost child”, those moments where he sasses others, times when he’s able to use his charisma and/or intelligence to pull ahead, rare instances when he whips out his royal manners, him respecting women… But I think the turning point for me had to have been book 6 OTL GOOD LORD, BOOK 6 FUCKED ME UP 😭 Him using his UM in a creative way to turn falling glass shards into harmless sand? And strategically turning himself in?? Willingly ceding control of the dorm to Ruggie??? Telling everyone about Styx’s lore???? AND THE BEEF HE HAD WITH JAMIL BUT STILL GIVING HIM WISDOM AND ADVICE… Sometimes I still tear up thinking about how L*ona says “You’re not like me,” to Jamil 😔 implying that part of the reason why L*ona guides others is because he has hope in their futures but not his own… (I’m still salty that EN messed up this line by changing it to “I’m not like you,” which makes him come off as way more arrogant 💦) Anyway, I blame book 6 for being the tipping point in my downward spiral 🌀 IT GOT WORSE IN BOOK 7 WHEN HE STARTED SHOWING HE'S MOTIVATED TO ACTUALLY GRADUATE AND TAKES ON AN INTERNSHIP THAT COULD BENEFIT HIS COUNTRY... Special shoutout to the Club Wear card for being especially hot-- I did my best to hold out against the steady drip of content that called attention to his… positive traits… (Not that I’m saying he doesn’t have any; I mean this in that whenever his strengths as a character are brought up, they really get to me as someone who loves intelligent, mature/responsible types and “big brother” figures OTL) BUT IT'S SO HARD WHEN TWST KEEPS PULLING STUFF LIKE THAT???

Then in 2024 came the stupid Lost in the Book with Nightmare Before Christmas event 💀 which finally introduced us to L*ona in full formal attire (MY WEAKNESS) and gave him the opportunity to be in the role of the "hero" and leader... and those Nightmare Suit vignettes 😭 Leona thinking about what it actually means to be "king"... Ugh, it was another strong showing of his character. I'm pretty sure it was this event that started the snowball of my friends (lovingly) bullying me about him and calling me a tsundere about it. Weirdly enough, a BUNCH of things started happening irl to push L*ona at me too. For example, my pet (who usually actively avoids or attacks Twst stuff) was actually eager to pose for a picture with a L*ona standee. In a group fan merch order, I had asked for the bonus Grim sticker but the artist (who had no idea about my complicated thoughts on L*ona) said they were out of the Grim sticker but they had L*ona stickers they could include instead. Most recently, I had just finished this last-minute artwork of Miss Raven eating pocky by herself to celebrate Pocky Day (11/11). Typically the fan art you'd see on this day would involve two characters playing the "Pocky Game" (in which the players try to eat a stick of pocky from either end; usually it's framed as romantic since meeting in the middle results in a kiss). However, I had chosen to do a solo Miss Raven art because I thought this suited her "I want to be taken seriously!" personality better. Well, guess what? I GOT A PACKAGE DELIVERY NOTIFICATION FOR THE TWST MERCH ORDER... WITH L*ONA IN IT 💀 Almost like he heard there was food meant for sharing and he came to claim it for himself... Like I literally did NOT choose for these things to happen to me, THEY HAPPENED ON THEIR OWN. I DON'T BELIEVE IN PREORDAINED EVENTS BUT THE UNIVERSE SURE IS WORKING IN STRANGE WAYS.

So now that the tables have turned, it’s really embarrassing. Everything is coming back to bite me in the butt… It truly feels like L*ona plotted this all along and was on the prowl, patiently waiting for me to get worn down before he pounces and delivers the final blow to my ego OTL Like, it's gotten to the point where many of my long-time friends in the Twst community are now joking that "It's over" for J word... ONE OF THEM EVEN TOLD ME IT FEELS LIKE I'M GETTING DIVORCED AND L*ONA IS THEIR NEW STEPDAD, HOW AM I SUPPSOED TO FEEL ABOUT HTHAT ??????????? ? ? ????? ? ??? ? ?? ?? ? ???? ?

But by the far the worst, the WORST part about everything here is that if L*ona were fully sentient, he would be so smug about recent developments 😡 It makes me SO mad thinking about how he'd look down on me with that hot smug rage-inducing smirk of his and make fun of me for eating my words so badly.

“What was that you said about hating my guts, herbivore? … Hah, it's written all over your face--you're terrible at hiding your true feelings. You can just give in, you know. Tell me how much you worship me. How much you want me. You'll give in eventually one way or another--so why not make this easier for the both of us and save us the time of playing the wait game? I don't bite, promise." (<- a liar)

(Disclaimer: NOT MY MERCH; this is a L*ona Liker friend’s picture that they’re letting me use as a reaction image 😅)

THIS IS FR MY OVERBLOT ORIGIN STORY…

[literallylyn27-02-97]

Dad Lance and Silver headcanons!!

From being champion for so long, Lance has a lot of entertaining and fun stories, and Silver really likes getting to hear them.

Banter. So much banter. Silver loves to mock him for being "old, as well as "a flying type trainer."

Lance uses a lot of names like "kid" "kiddo" and also some pet names. He likes to call Silver "his little champion." Sometimes too.

Lance teaches Silver how to care for baby dragon pokemon and dragon pokemon in general. Silver actually really enjoys it, and finds it a bit therapeutic! (Not that he'd ever admit it-)

Silver would never admit it, but he can actually be kind of clingy when it comes to Lance. He doesn't like it if he has to go away for long periods of time, or even if someone else is getting more attention from him then he is 😤 that's his dad. (Not that he'd ever admit it.)

He's good at hiding his clinginess for the most part, but 9/10 Lance sees through it.

Silver, unsurprising, has a lot of trouble sleeping. He's got that C-PTSD/Anxiety combo that constantly keeps him up at night with paranoia and gives him non-stop nightmares, so it's rare for him to get the full eight hours. (Lance is trying to help-)

Silver is cold pretty much all the time, whereas Lance is warm pretty much all of the time. This results in Silver constantly leaning into Lance for warmth, which he is adamant is "totally not a hug!"

He also has this habit of wrapping Lance’s cape around himself and stealing it when he's not looking. And eventually, his Sneasel also picks up on this trait, which Silver finds hilarious.

The other champions absolutely adore Silver. The first time he met them Silver was (Though again, he'd never admit it because he's so strong and intimidating ofc) incredibly shy, so he wouldn't say much. Which sparked them all to immediately awe at how "cute" he was. (Much to Silver's disdain.) Along with "he's the spitting image of Lance!"

Which is why Lance has to constantly remind them: "you know he's not biologically my child, right?" (He refuses to say "not my actual son." Silver is his actual son no matter what DNA says.) Though the other champions refuse to believe him due to the fact they do look similar. /hj.

Lance gets incredibly happy every time Silver accidentally calls him Dad, or even when he finally starts doing it on purpose. (He definitely cried the first time it actually happened once Silver wasn't looking—)

Silver is deficient in iron and thus is incredibly sleepy very often and also pretty sick, meaning Lance is constantly on the look out just to make sure he isn't hiding any flare ups or issues from him, and that he keeps any medicine or snacks he might need to sustain his illness close by.

Silver actually picks up on a lot of Lance's personality traits! Once he's lived with him long enough that is. He develops a liking for bad jokes, (which he's very upset about-) more of an understanding and kindliness towards Pokémon as well as a lot more gentle personality.

But of course he is also still Silver and quick to get defensive if any of those things get pointed out, or if someone annoys him. He's just a lot less violent and (slightly) less rude about it-

It's a tradition in the Blackthorn Dragon Clan that Dragon trainer's get their first cape along with their first Pokémon. However, when Lance takes in Silver he of course already has his first Pokémon, so instead when Lance gives him his first (handmade by himself) cape he declares it "Silver's official welcoming into the family. (And no Silver definitely doesn't cry.)

Silver was really nervous at first about the fact that Giovanni was his dad, and tried to keep it hidden from Lance because he knew he hated them just as much as he did and he was worried Lance wouldn't wanna keep him around anymore. But one day Lance found a missing person description about Giovanni's son, that was oddly fitting of Silver, so he was able to put two and two together.

Of course, he still accepted Silver, since Lance believes more than anyone that people's blood relations don't define them, and that family are those you choose, which really helped strengthen their bond as father and son.

Lance is a morning person. Silver is not. Lance will be awake at 10:00 in the morning feeling refreshed whilst cooking breakfast, Silver will be flopped over on the living room couch wishing Arceus would strike him down then and there so he doesn't have to go through the pain that is fully waking up <33.

Silver doesn't like the dark. He doesn't like how vulnerable it makes him feel, and it reminds him of living with Giovanni and constantly having to hear the sadistic conversations he would have with the Rocket Grunts, and so he has a habit of sleeping with a lamp on when he moves in with Lance.

Giovanni used to always talk about Silver being "the heir to the throne" for Team Rocket, which always made him really uncomfortable. Even before he had worked through his personal issues about his views on Pokémon, Silver despised the idea of doing anything for the organisation. So Lance always makes it clear that even though Silver is training under his teachings, he is in no way obligated to go down the same path as him and become champion unless that's what he wants.

Lance hates leaving Silver along for long periods of time because he knows that boy will not look after himself at all. He has to constantly text reminders to eat, drink, take medicine, etc. So if he does have to go away for any League related things or anything else, nine times out of ten he's taking Silver with him.

Lance had to teach Silver a lot of self-care he didn't really understand due to living out on the streets for so long. The first time he ever brushed his hair was heck because of how tangled and knotted it was, but miraculously, they got there in the end.

He also had to teach Silver that a lot of things he thought were normal, actually, are not!

"No, Sweetheart. It's not normal to suddenly feel really tired out of nowhere and like you need to lie down before passing out, I think I might have to take you to see a doctor about that."

"No, you can't just "wait out" the paralysis your hand got from that Dratini's thunder wave. Come on let's go sort that out."

"Yes, you do need to take these iron supplement pills. No, Silv, you weren't fine out on the streets you just weren't used to actual love and care, Kid."

Sometimes it feels like he's giving Lance gray hairs early but he wouldn't have it any other way. <3

[paradoxbeta]

WHO IS EOC? i am very curious now!!!

>:) okay SO

tumblr picture formatting is utter garbage and i dont want these to take up too much space so im cramming these drawings into one row (or not if this crapsite breaks on me, because it seems to be REALLY fighting me on this, so if it ends up not making a nice little picture row know that i tried my best). but this is effigy of composure!

he has a couple problems, but the big one is that his superstructure has a terrible parasite situation. the parasites are flat, thin, and able to make it into grooves and pipes the inspectors cant reach. flushing out doesnt do much to dislodge them and they breed faster than they can be killed, so theyve happily made their homes in this sheltered, food-rich haven (to the obvious distress and horror of the host iterator). originally the concept for these parasites were much closer to centipedes and had the placeholder name "synapcipedes," but ive since started leaning more towards an obvious tapeworm motif for them because its gross and i enjoy it morbidly. it also has some pretty cursed implications if you think about it for too long which i have decided are funny/really disgusting/so stupid that they have to stay. i still flipflop between considering them centipedes vs tapeworms though and i dont think thatll ever be rigidly defined. the ambiguity is nice to toy with

on the top 10 list of "things that are not fun" having turbo worms has to be somewhere up there, so eoc has it *rough,* and kind of sort of eventually barrels off into the deep end because of it. his futile attempts to clean his own structure are frustrating enough, and the constant feeling of bugs crawling all over the inside of his body (which only gets progressively worse with time) does no favors either. however, the real big reason why he mentally declines is just because there's a ton of centi-worm things eating like fire through his neurons and other what-have-yous that iterators need to think and function. i think if he only got hit with one of these 3 things then he might have been able to hang onto his sanity, but with the triple combo he doesn't really stand a chance of doing much except stalling his functional death. which is good on him because if i was an iterator and my overseers told me i had a structure infestation, my mental health would have just preemptively swan dived off a bridge before anything even happened

anyhow, exponential parasite population growth meant exponential increase in all this other fun stuff, which means the time from the beginning of the infection to the time eoc is considered officially gone is startlingly short (for iterators, at least). it still took quite the while because losing your marbles is a loonnnng process, but still, yikes. its unfortunate because eoc was a real jokester pre-everything, and a cool guy to talk to. he was one of those people who could come up witty comments for anything like hed been ripped from the script of a sitcom. oh yeah, also, should have mentioned this earlier, but he ends up accidentally amassing a scavenger cult mid-insanity which goes hilariously bad because he's barely aware it's happening. nothing really works out for this poor iterator.

tldr: eoc gets parasites, they erode his brain, he goes nuts about it, (accidentally amasses a cult,) dies

[ferhog]

My INSANE, out there predictions for Arcane's final Act:

Hello friends. As we approach the last 3 episodes of this show I come to you with the craziest predictions I've made in my efforts to understand the twisted machinations of Riot and Fortiche. I'm not 100% expecting most of these to happen but I'm not joking when I say these either.

Isha will be saved... and so will everyone else: Contrary to the opinions of some fans I think Isha is a good character with a good death, but it's undeniable that it was more predictable and heavy-handed than this show's usual standard. So I think she and Vander will blow up... and a distraught Jinx will go catatonic and do nothing as she's impaled by Noxian soldiers. Ambessa will close the distance on a distracted Caitlyn and slice her head off, and Vi will despairingly witness exactly what she feared she'd see in the season 1 finale, before being cut down herself... only for everything to rewind back to Echo's stopwatch in a parallel to season 1's seventh episode, and Echo and Heimerdinger will fly in (As deduced by some people analysing the trailers) and save everyone except Vander, who will still be mostly destroyed by the blast so he can be reconstituted fully as Warwick later.

CaitVi sex scene: My safest prediction that many have already made. I believe it will happen because we got to see Jayce and Mel go at it while Vi and Caitlyn is the show's lead romance. To my knowledge there has been no on-screen gay sex in western animation (Except maybe that threesome in Castlevania) and this show will cross that boundary and go all in. It's not gonna be Game of Thrones borderline pornographic stuff but it's gonna tiptoe on that teen rating. We're gonna see toes curl. We're gonna see O faces. We're gonna see Caitlyn try her best to defy nature and get her girl pregnant.

Future shows will be directly set up: Arcane has been a huge success and the Medarda plotline seems like it's setting up too much to be completed in just 3 episodes. So I think it's gonna directly tie into a whole other show all about Noxus. But maybe it won't stop there. Maybe a very confident Riot will have Arcane end on a tease for everything that is to come. A character like Ambessa, Heimerdinger, or Vi will narrate how everything that's happened is a sign that the world is changing, and this narration will play over Lux and Garen overlooking the kingdom of Demacia, Diana and Leona meeting on the battlefield, Miss Fortune breasting boobily on the high seas, and... whoever lives in the Freljord. My non-Arcane League knowledge comes entirely from TBskyen videos and rule34.

Someone will actually say "League of Legends": It's a big joke that this would happen, but y'know what, they made how Jinx got her name one of the most impactful moments in her show when in most other shows or movies it would have been hilariously stupid. So I think they should challenge themselves and actually do it just to show they can pull it off. Maybe have Vi seeing the good she's done for Piltover and Zaun and reflect on Maddie calling her "A legend amongst the enforcers" and say "Heh. Maybe I am in the league of legends". BOOM. Roll credits. Lincoln Park starts playing. Again.

Silco will return: My absolute craziest, never gonna happen theory is that Silco's body will be recovered from the river and revived by either Singed experimenting again or a straight up magic villain like the Black Rose 9If they can do that). But his mind will have deteriorated enough in death that he's brought back wrong, yet another parallel to Vander. He will remember almost nothing, not even his name, with his attempt resulting in only half success as the name... Shaco. That's right, the champion infamous for having no lore will suddenly have all the lore. Because they have a sorta similar nose and chin combo.

Loris will still do nothing: It would just be really funny if that happened. Actually you know what, it would be really funny if in the final battle Vi is about to be killed before she's suddenly saved by Loris throwing his shield in front of her. And then they give each other a knowing look like old friends who'll always have each-other's backs and he'll walk away, never to be seen again.

[bananathebookworm]

TLOVM S3 Eps 4-6 Ramblings

Ep. 4

Ashley is just... so good at what she does...

Hell is disgusting. I love it.

I know splitting the party is almost always a bad idea in D&D, but I really like how they've done it in this series. It helps to get through so many important plot points. (And also makes it easier on the animators to have less characters involved in each scene.)

The concentration check fail to drop their disguises is a nice touch

I like that we get more about the NPCs stories simply because they introduced things like EXU later. They expanded on lore that didn't exist when this campaign was originally played and it's really cool to see. I'm only disappointed we didn't get to see Senokir.

Loving this card game between Pike and Zerxus.

I really want Bell's Hells to go to the Hells and talk to Zerxus. I mostly just want Luis back at the table. Let him take over like Abu did.

Also the Aabria, Brennan, and Matt in the stained glass pictures while Zerxus is retelling of his friends during the Calamity is phenomenal.

"Do you want your family here?" Damn Pike. Get him.

"We all have blindspots." I refuse to believe that wasn't a deliberate reference to Ashley's show. Especially after Scanlan's reference to Phoenix Wright a few episodes ago.

I need a mini-series of Zerxus life in Hell please.

Ep. 5

Kima and Allura being badass is always a plus. I want a mini-series of their adventuring days.

I wish they had included Scanlan slaying the pit fiend with Mythcarver. It was one of the only times Scanlan used his sword and we got one hell of a cutting words song from it. And also no one but Keyleth saw his victory which would've added to the "Scanlan is not appreciated enough" story.

"Let's get weird." I love that they throw in the various player phrases too. Not just the one-liners from characters, but the actual quirks of the players at the table that span all characters.

Kaiju battle! The only thing missing is Pike's Divine Intervention punching Vorugal out of the sky.

The Magnificent Mansion baby!

Ep. 6

Chateau Shorthalt! Love it.

Okay, but the cannonball contest is one of my favourite downtime moments. I know it was probably passed over for time, but I'd love to see it animated.

Oh god, the bath scene. I knew they wouldn't pass it over just because of how everyone reacted to that moment, but I wasn't sure how they were going to do it. Welp. Here we are. Fucking hilarious as always.

I love these moments of character bonding so much. I know we can't have as many of them in the series as in the game, but it's good that they include at least a few.

Oh this scry is rough... Scanlan is not well.

Well shit. I didn't think he'd leave at that moment. Though I do like that Pike both knows and encourages it because Ashley wasn't there for this whole thing. Sam said that if she'd been there Pike would've been the only one that could've convinced him to stay. I'm really curious if we're still going to get the "What is my mother's name?" breakdown.

Are Kash and Zahra going to return? I know they were there for at least part of this lead up to Thordak.

I really love how these different battles are choreographed. I love that they can combo and support each other's abilities now that initiative order doesn't need to be tracked.

General

I'm really enjoying this season so far. So many important character things are happening both independently and as a group.

I don't necessarily love the pacing, but I also understand that condensing a 500 hour campaign into seasons that are about 4.5 hours long total is a fucking behemoth of a task. Like even if we go two more seasons, that's only 20-25 hours total. So much has to be cut and reworked to make a coherent story.

[terramythos]

Anyway here's my breakdown of the ffxiv jobs, my opinions on playing each, and the tier rank of how good their story was

TANKS

WARRIOR - warrior is so fucking funny why did they make it able to solo heal itself and the entire party in 90% of the content in the game. Raw Intuition/Bloodwhetting is so broken in dungeons its hilarious. And then they have like 3 additional healing skills on top of that. And they kept buffing it throughout Endwalker. So it is currently the easiest to play, does the most damage (i think...?), and has the best healing of any of the Tank jobs. 2nd fave probably.

Story Tier: C, it's ok, Curious Gorge is a good name. i have like nothing to say about it it's a generic AF story

PALADIN - I used to hate PLD but I think the partial rework they got halfway through Endwalker helped it a lot. It's much less clunky now. Probably still my least favorite Tank though Hallowed Ground is fun and it's pretty close to Gunbreaker for me.

Story Tier: F, this is the worst class storyline in the entire game. It's so stupid. The writing is so bad the writers acknowledge it makes no sense at all and I'm like. Yeah, thanks, I am experiencing this shit. Perhaps write a story that makes sense next time instead of pointing that out.

DARK KNIGHT - Unfortunately this is my favorite Tank 🫡 which is rough since it has the worst survivability out of any of them. But I love how you use MP and the silly number of OGCDs. The Blackest Night is such a fun ability and it's a crime that it's not a baseline skill you get from the start. Why do they have so many DRs that only cover magic damage. I must ask.

Story Tier: S, there's a reason it's the most popular and well regarded class storyline. It's really good, also the only questline I know of that uses the quest log text as part of the narrative. Outside maybe a few of the very late Endwalker quests. And, well... same writer lmao

GUNBREAKER: I think GNB looks cool as fuck and I like that it has 2 DPS rotations. The Gnashing Fang combo is so fun. Superbolide memes are always fun. My main issue with it is a skill issue because I am just constantly misaligning its burst windows.

Story Tier: C. It has some interesting lore but I found it pretty forgettable as a story.

HEALERS

WHITE MAGE: I hated White Mage for a while but something clicked and now I totally get it. I find it fun in dungeons cause you get to Holy spam and stun lock everything. As uh. The healer. That's fun. Once you get Afflatus heals (and then Afflatus Misery) it clicks. It's fun maximizing damage and playing chicken with the tank's HP.

Story Tier: B, you get a lot of lore around the Padjal, and I think the Stormblood story where you find a padjal living in hiding with her mother is pretty good! Also it's not technically the job storyline but there's a WHM side quest to get a unicorn mount? i guess it's technically a CNJ quest but same diff. no one else gets that shit. so that's cool

SCHOLAR: probably my least favorite of the healers... it just feels super clunky. You can tell a bunch of different design philosophies went into it over the years and none of them mesh very well. They've made it so the Fairy Gauge controls literally one spell. Why have the gauge at all? It's also a huge missed opportunity that there's no tie in or interaction with the fae in Shadowbringers. I love the idea of a battle tactician healer but I think it needs a rework.

Story Tier: B+, I liked the characters and its the main way to get backstory and lore on what happened with Nym.

ASTROLOGIAN: While I think AST has a similar issue to SCH (lots of different design philosophies over the years) I find it way more fun to play. I like the card mechanic and how it interacts with the rest of the party. AST is basically the only job that has its own like. Minigame? As part of its rotation. And I know a lot of people don't like the RNG for it but personally I find it fun. I know AST is getting a redesign in Dawntrail so hope it's good.

Story Tier: C? I think? I'll be honest I don't remember it super well but I didn't find anything objectionable about it. And I like the tarot aesthetic and lore and how it's healing based on manipulating luck.

SAGE: I think SGE is tons of fun, I'm not sure if I like it or WHM more. I love all the skills SGE has for preventing damage and the gimmick where your DPS heals someone in the party. Visually the hi-tech laser shooting healer is a lot of fun. IT HAS A GAP CLOSER. The only thing i wish was it wasn't so MP negative and that it did more damage. It's a little sad its DPS output is so low compared to the other healers (even AST when you factor in how it buffs the party). Since SGE is supposed to be a healer that heals through damage it's silly its damage kinda sucks.

Story Tier: A, I loved this storyline. Both the Endwalker job stories are very self contained and interesting. While the twist is pretty obvious it's still an interesting exploration of uh. Scientific ethics. Yeah

PHYSICAL MELEE DPS

MONK: I've probably played MNK the least of the phys melee but I like the whole adaptable combo thing. Not much else to say since I have played it so little. Might bring it back out and try again. It DID have the funniest guide in the Balance discord for a while.

Story Tier: D. I think? I remember thinking it was dumb, lmao. Sorry.

DRAGOON: MAN I wished I liked DRG more. It looks so fucking cool and I like how it interacts with the dragon lore. But I find it very punishing to play. To do good damage you have to align so many different cooldowns... and snapshot your DOT correctly... and screwing one thing up just fucks your DPS output forever. Like AST I believe this is being reworked in Dawntrail so I hope it feels better to play.

Story Tier: C+. I think it starts strong since you get to meet Estinien pre-Heavensward and it melds nicely with that story. But I found it pretty directionless post-HW which is a shame.

NINJA: I remember finding this one fun. I like that there are different combos you do that have varied finishers depending on the situation. I am just... bad at remembering which combo to use to get which finisher, lol. So I haven't played it as much. NIN gets a lot of flavor other jobs don't get with their unique run and jump animations. And you get a Bunny of Shame on your head if you fuck up a combo, which is incredible.

Story Tier: A. The Rogue story is probably the most memorable of the basic class quests. Ninja just has great characters and a fun story. What is with that one guy. Karasu? If you know you know. I also like how the Rogue characters show up later in the Ninja story. That's fun.

SAMURAI: I had a similar experience to WHM here because I initially hated it then really came around once it clicked. SAM seems very complex, it has a ton of buttons and different combos. But it is actually quite intuitive once you figure out the general pattern. And it does INSANE damage. I think it's the highest DPS output in the game? I love building the combos and then doing a huge finisher for a bajillion damage. The guaranteed crits and constant OGCD weaves make me feel unstoppable. I think this is tied with RPR for me.

Story Tier: B+. I found the exiled samurai character and his journey toward redemption very compelling. I won't spoil beyond that. However it does fall apart a little in the second half. Still fun but not as good.

REAPER: I love RPR, the teleportation is a lot of fun, and I love finally unleashing the demon form and going ham on the enemy. The weapons are the coolest looking in the game. Every scythe design hits. I probably played this the most in Endwalker. My main critique is the Death's Design mechanic. I hate having to keep a stupid debuff on the target to do damage. It's like a dot but without the optimized snapshotting. If they want to keep this idea i think it would feel better to change it into something like SGE's Kardia where you apply it to one enemy to do increased damage to it without having to worry about reapplying it. not sure how they would balance this for aoe but that's not my job. But even with that caveat I still really enjoy the job.

Story Tier: A+. While it doesn't reach the highs of DRK's story it comes close. I love the badass old lady main character. Her hunting a voidsent that possessed her grandfather would be cool enough but making her a Garlean exile in hiding who grudgingly agrees to train you just adds an extra cool factor. I really enjoyed this story. As a bonus theres a lot of incidental dialogue in the post-6.0 Endwalker story if you completed the RPR story because it ties in a lot.

PHYSICAL RANGED DPS

BARD: It's a bit clunky, its got some outdated design elements, it has one of the lowest damage outputs in the game... and i LOVE IT. this was technically the first job I ever played? totally different character like 8 years ago. and i was so so bad. I think i am actually pretty good at current BRD. the animations look cool. i like that it's a class you really need to work for and optimize to eke out that last bit of damage. and boosting everyone else's damage by existing is kinda neat.

Story Tier: B. I'll be real I barely remember this but I do remember it was gay as fuck so immediately gets an extra tier for that.

MACHINIST: MCH is really funny right now because like. It's phys ranged, right. The design behind phys ranged is you have 100% uptime cause you can freely move around and not have to worry about cast timers or melee range or anything. So the trade off is that they do less damage than other classes. Endwalker MCH did not get the memo and does insane damage anyway. My controversial opinion is that it has similar burst DPS to RPR. No i will not elaborate. I'm also bad at doing good damage on MCH which is impressive since it is easy.

Story Tier: B+. Some Ishgard noble's gay son wants to build machines instead of killing dragons the good old fashioned way and has to prove himself to get taken seriously. A tale as old as time. See I haven't done this quest in like years but I still remember it. He is a memorable character. It's just not like. knockout wowza compared to the A tier stories.

DANCER: Dancer is the second easiest DPS job in the game behind SMN. So if i am sleepy it's the one I like playing. You play simon says. you do a lot of damage when you play simon says then do almost no fucking damage otherwise. I think it's the lowest direct damage in the game? for a dps i mean. You have high stakes sexual tension with a DPS of your choice via Dance Partner. I wish other DNC players knew how Dance Partner works. YOU CAN DANCE PARTNER ANOTHER DANCER. THE BUFF STACKS. BUT YOU CANNOT DANCE PARTNER THE SAME PLAYER AS ANOTHER DANCER. THOSE BUFFS DO NOT STACK. ok i'm good. anyway

Story Tier: C. there's some shit about negative emotions and purging them? in theory i think this has some interesting implications with Endwalker lore considering Dynamis and its role in the story. Very similar mechanically to what's going on with the DNC story. but i really don't think the writers made the connection so it's like pure speculation and not the actual story. It's meh. fine i guess. i did like all the flashy dancing sequences.

MAGICAL RANGED DPS

BLACK MAGE: I am so so so so so so so bad at BLM. i pull up the guide. i read the guide. it all makes perfect sense. i go into a dungeon or trial or something. somehow i always get like Zeromus or some shit. and i drop Enochian or something and everything goes to shit and i'm yelling and i'm not even like slide casting or teleporting or anything i just run around crying. then i remember i have like 10 more buttons i haven't been pressing and oh god the dot fell off. people play this? for fun? i admire it. apparently they do a ton of damage if you can play it. could not be me.

Story Tier: B? There's some voidsent and Thirteenth lore. all the black mage characters are Lalafell because it's funny i guess. OH YEAH it has like the one named male Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te NPC in the entire game and he's fun. look at this twink:

sorry i don't have anything to say about BLM i am bad at it

SUMMONER: easiest DPS job in the entire game. they redesigned it for Endwalker so it is practically a new job. i have no idea how it played before. but it is super streamlined. maybe too streamlined? it's another one to play if you want to turn your brain off. i like that at 90 you summon The Actual Primals instead of little representations of them. and i like the way your burst phase switches between Bahamut and Phoenix. it all looks very cool. they should add Leviathan as a summon in Dawntrail.

Story Tier: C.. i don't remember a single thing about this questline except you interact with Y'shtola's half sister. i think you go to Cartenau at some point. idk

RED MAGE: RDM is one of those jobs that looks really complicated when you start then you actually play it and it is just super super easy. that being said i think it's really fun. I like balancing the white and black magic gauges. Dualcast is a great gimmick and it feels cool to lob two big spells in a row at something. Dualcast Verraising a chain of dead players is so fucking funny. it's a shame that the existence of Verraise means RDM does shit damage to compensate for its utility. It and DNC just sit at the bottom with BRD barely scratching ahead of them. i think? i don't remember LOL

Story Tier: A, I really like the story and characters. I like that you have a middle-age world weary catboy (catman) as your mentor. and i like that he canonically trained Alisaie too and you chat a little about that. it's a fun story!

BLUE MAGE: what the fuck is a blue mage

Story Tier: ???

[phoenixcatch7]

Every so often I drift back to the overlord anime but I can never stay for long because it's a good 70% smut with the succubus and 20% side character drama that never goes anywhere. It's a similar premise to svsss, in that a modern guy accidentally gets sucked into a fictional fantasy world he was obsessed with as the villain with a group of people and a place he rules over and wants to protect, and his paranoia/procrastination combo strategises his way to victory.

So of course I thought, 'let's get our dear old scum villain (affectionate) in here'.

Cuz i'mma be real sy would make an infinitely more interesting panicking lich king. Take off that emotion nullification, for starters.

A) pidw was a vr mmorpg with a vast, overarching storyline of the rising emperor lbh, whom players could battle or wed for rewards. A respawning final boss of such strength it took a world wide unified invasion of top players to fell. When sy gets pulled into pidw and all the npcs come to life, so too does lbh, who is very confused as to what happened but remembers sy as one of the players who fronted the invasion (having dug up every nugget of lore on lbh and using that vast knowledge in strategy) and carries an immense grudge that eventually turns into love as he gets to know sy. Sqh is there too, of course, the uncredited game dev who made lbh and his right hand man mbj, who's own base in the north got retaken when mbj also resurrected and is having his own worrisome love story.

B) sy and sqh are in the same guild, named cq, and the demons are sqhs overly detailed npc. Lbh works as the guardian overseer, aka the head npc, and as they wait for the game to shut down sy sneakily makes a joke in lbhs character sheet about him loving sy. They get sucked in, the characters come to life, and sy spends the time he isn't using panicking about the situation, five dimensional politicking, or protecting the base being in denial about the whole lbh thing (and his no homo) and feeling DEEPLY guilty (and hiding it from sqh). Lbh, of course, now having free will, thinks about it a bit and decides to fall madly in love with his kind, gentle, soft hearted lich king boss in spite of his loyalty to his creator. Sqh goes 'dude, wtf' and so goes a very long back and forth as sy tries and fails to come up with the right code of ethics to deal with this insane situation he inadvertently created, meanwhile lbh is strategising how one could feasibly get railed by a skeleton and being the Best Housewife Right Hand Man Ever. And get headpats in the process.

C) sy was part of the xianxia themed cq guild, and everyone (the peak lords) got sucked into either ygddrassil (overlord world) or pidw (svsss). Basically, all the peak lords are millennials old friends running around trying to deal with the consequences of their role play and finally getting to try out the fancy food and drink. I love this one because everyone would be really comfortable with each other, lots of slang and in jokes, a well oiled team stuck in a crazy situation together with ridiculously powerful characters each and every one, and you could have sj as a member! Sy could be the beast tamer peak lord. It'd be so interesting to see what they'd class and subclass as. Sy might still be a lich, but Yqy would be a really interesting choice! Him and sj would definitely still have history though... Hulijing, wood elf, bamboo spirit, human, who knows!

D) sy spent a few years as the lich king guild leader in ygddrassil (I'm definitely not spelling it right), bored by the lack of anything interesting, before the system intervened (maybe as a remnant of the original game interface?) and whisked him off to svsss. Post canon he gets either revealed as an imposter or there's some past life wife plot (some animal that was a boobacious beauty in its past life getting cursed to switch between them?) that turns sy into his old big bad lich overlord form, which is hilariously incongruent with his personality but utterly terrifying and anathema to the jianghu, but lbh is now having to crane his neck back and desperately trying to figure out how to get dommed. Everyone is fully convinced this is sy's og body, and not some modern human one they don't even get to see.

E) sy gets yoinked by system and when lbh (and maybe some others?) catch up a few years later he's in the skeleton body in ygddrassil dabbling in world domination and very eager to see them. The npcs get introduced and draw many incorrect conclusions.

[garbage-empress]

My baby giant clam Clamabelle has fully extended her mantle today, after recovering from shipping. She's also adjusting her position to attain the most comfy spot.

Yesterday I had to keep fiddling with her placement because she kept yeeting herself off the platform. Once Tridacna clams find a spot they like they'll permanently attach but the young ones are rowdy. They clumsily move around until they get the combo of light, stability and flow they're looking for.

Moving around like this can sometimes result in disasters where they fall too far and hurt themselves or they end up upside down in the sand bed where they're starved for light and their fleshy bits are vulnerable to opportunists, so I hope she stays relatively in this spot.

Tridacnid clams are the largest clams on Earth and have independently evolved a symbiosis with dinoflagellates and obtain a lot of their calories from photosynthesis just like coral does. The rest of their food is obtained from filtering sea water for microbes, like you'd expect from a clam. They're gorgeous, weird animals.

Clamabelle is a Tridacna maxima, which has the hilarious common name of "small giant clam" because they "only" grow to a length of 8-12 inches (20-31 cm) as compared to the bigger species of the Tridacna genus, such as Tridacna gigas, the largest clam in the world:

The smallest Tridacnid clam is Tridacna crocea, which "only" grows to a length of about 6 inches (15 cm). Tridacna crocea is also known as "the boring clam" but "boring" as in "cutting into rock" not "boring" as in "dull" because look at this little beast:

Really happy to have such an interesting specimen in my tank and I hope I can take good care of her.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

okay if you had to "there was only one bed!" two of the guys, what do you think would be the funniest combo?

Okay, so "funniest" is very subjective. Let's go to the bullets for this one:

Bucky and Buck: Fucking hilarious as mutual idiots pining trying not to touch each other even though they ALWAYS touch each other, so the effort to NOT is actually the funniest goddamn thing. Go to bed back to back but NOT TOUCHING and wake up cuddled like puppies. But they're fucking idiots, so they snap apart like two magnets with the same polarity and try and pretend like NOTHING IS WEIRD. Good news for us, they have to do this A SECOND TIME. And this time. Well, fuck it. "We always touch, Bucky. Why is this weird?" / "It's...intimate." / "What about us isn't?" And then the same second realization hits, and they snap the bed frame with the victory fuck.

Buck and Curt and Bucky: Zero attempts at sex. Curt grew up sharing a bed with siblings and wakes up drooling on Buck's chest with his legs on Bucky's stomach. Kicks Bucky in the dick in his sleep.

Bubbles and Crosby: No platonic cuddling issues. But then they both wake up with boners, and um. Well. Huh. Maybe we should pretend that didn't happen. Crosby makes it ten minutes before his brain sends him into the bathroom while Bubbles is trying to jerk off and frantically NOT say Crosby's name. Crosby shouts, trips on nothing, and takes out the shower curtain as he lands in the tub. They laugh so hard they cry. During their first kiss, Crosby gets shampoo in his eyes.

Rosie and Ken: They both stare at the bed, and then Rosie blurts out, "I can take the couch," and Ken says, "No, I can," and somehow as they argue about it, Rosie ends up saying, "No, look, you have to take the bed because if I take the bed, all I'll think about is you NOT being on the bed." And it's a fucking rom-com moment of cuteness that ends with them both going for the kiss and hitting their noses together hard.

Bucky and Curt: There's no drama. Just some quality fuck and snuggle time. Curt is absolutely the big spoon.

Curt and Ken: Look. Curt's the biggest slut in the 100th. Even past Bucky. And he will remind you. "What do I care, Kenny? I've been in beds with people I've known a lot less about." / "Fuck, your sex life must be average." / "What?" / "The best sex is with someone who knows you." / "Prove it." Anyway, it's filthy.

Douglass and Hambone: Hambone bites in his sleep. Feral motherfucker. In his defense, he got that gold tooth after his brother punched him in his sleep. So.

Douglass and Blakely: Both silently wishing for a tree to run into full-faced to not have to lie next to each other and have the yearnings. Crosby is actually there as well and calls dibs on the couch, which leads them both to yelling WHAT and then staring at each other. Crosby takes the couch and knocks out and sleeps like the dead. Douglass and Blakely figure it out.

Demarco and Macon: Macon calls dibs because of his neck. Demarco offers to rub his neck once he's had a shower because he knows it hurts. Just as they're both realizing that maybe they're into each other, Meatball takes a running leap onto the bed because he has not been paid attention for a full five minutes.

Bucky and Brady: Brady intentionally sticks his cold feet on Bucky and cackles with glee. Bucky body slams him onto the bed, which just makes Brady laugh more.

Jack and Bucky: There is nothing funny here. Jack outranks Bucky, and Bucky can sleep in the fucking tub for all Jack fucking cares. Bucky sleeps on the floor on the side of the bed Jack sleeps on just in case he can trip him in the middle of the night. Jack kicks him in the eye by accident. It's the funniest night of Bucky's life.

Bucky and Marge: Oh no. What will they do. Clearly just platonic friends on a trip to meet Marge's husband at his new base. However could they--they fuck. They call Buck long distance and they fuck.

Buck and Marge: Oh, they absolutely call Bucky long distance and fuck. And then Bucky drives five hours to meet them at the hotel for a fuck at dawn.

Jack and Rosie: Jack is dying slowly because he's had a crush since Rosie was first a dork in the officer's club, and now he's seen him fly and be such a good fucking leader. Meanwhile, Rosie's brain is just the Wii background music because Jack's so nice! What a great friend! But then he realizes Jack only sleeps in his boxers, and oh fucking shit i might have a problem.

Ken and Winks: What's weird about this. They've been sharing a pup tent by the runway for months. A whole bed? And they can cuddle but ALSO turn over? HEY!

Jack and Harding: Jack does NOT have feelings for his CO. That's not a thing he is dealing with. Nope. Harding does NOT have feelings for his Air Exec. That's not something he is dealing with. Nope. But turns out they're both horrific insomniacs and they end up talking and well. It works out.

Meatball and Demarco: There is one bed, and Meatball spoons Demarco.

Meatball and anyone else: It's Meatball's bed. What the fuck do you think you're doing.

[toast-in-a-cowboy-hat]

The whole debacle with the Felix Remix of biscuits and gravy is equal parts hilarious and unfortunate for me, in particular, because like, ya know, yeah, Oreos in beef granules, Oreos & Beef, that sounds bad.

To most folks at least, probably.

I, tragically, am haunted by the presence of, in my opinion, a much worse sounding execution of that general concept.

That beast being the Oreo Stuffed Cheeseburger.

Which is something I have seen, irl, at both local restaurants and fair grounds, and, as you might could guess from the name, is where they take a beef patty, put Oreos in the middle of said patty, and then follow it up with the rest of the steps one might take to produce a cheeseburger.

And it's been a while since I seen it, so I'm not entirely sure but I think they also put either icing, crushed oreos, or both, on top of the patty with the rest of the condiments.

I've seen another version too, the Deep Fried Oreo Cheeseburger, which is a cheeseburger with deep fried oreos on top, and then again I think the icing and maybe crushed oreos.

And who knows, maybe that actually sounds good to y'all, idk, but that seems worse to me. Like Felix's thing just got beef and oreo, cookie and sauce, these you have the beef and the oreo, but theres also cheese, mustard, onion, etc, etc... all along with a bunch more oreos, and none of those things are something I'd want near an oreo to begin with so.

Sounds bad!

But people eat and enjoy all of these things, I had people tell me that they thought it sounded bad, but it was actually surprisingly good!

And so! It's very funny to me because like, that means Felix is not entirely wrong! Oreo and beef is a flavor combo people enjoy, people would like his biscuits and gravy, there's places you can buy this sort of thing from out there in the world, right now.

There's even been kinda similar concepts served widespread via chain store like, you ever thought your cheeseburger wasn't sticky enough? Well, you're in luck, there was a point you could buy the Peanut Butter Bacon Cheeseburger, and also the Peanut Butter Bacon Milkshake, which yes, had real bacon chunks in it like Look at these things

People ate these People enjoyed these

To me that sounds awful, but a whole lotta people really liked them

And so between that and the Oreo Cheeseburger, I think Felix's true calling in life was to have some sort of food truck. Like, he should be at a state fair, making concoctions of questionable edibility that people are either disgusted by or adore, and instead, alas, he was British.

This man is gonna end up visiting Outlaw in Texas one day and accidentally start a trend, like, he's gonna invent the Brown Gravy Oreo Cheeseburger or some shit like that. We're gonna end up with Cowboy Felix where that's what he does now, no more assisting with horrific medical experiments, he's making his own, in the culinary field!

Let him have fun with strange food combinations, he deserves it

[paradoxgavel]

I am not a proper Pokémon player. Every Pokémon game I have ever played I won because I just sat there with my starter and made it the most terrifying thing in existence, and the rest of my team is fodder. I don’t even remember type advantages. The first game I ever played was Pokémon platinum, and my Turtwig was SATAN (yes I named him Satan). Satan survived and beat the dreaded abomasnow and froslass combo by himself… to this day I can’t explain how. Anyways I thought it be hilarious to consider Pokémon!Moon and Sun’s reactions running into a trainer like that.

Hsdfsdfh that was the way I used to play them for the longest time! The only reason I started training up the rest of my team was bc I felt bad leaving my other buddies out, hehe. ;v;

But I think Sun and Moon would have differing opinions on it!