#Because fuck this guy I guess
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No matter what Miguel’s fate is in btsv just rest assured he gets the happiest ending possible in my warrior cats x spiderverse AU
Since it still follows the events of atsv but it’s a little different because it’s adjusted to the warriors universe I can just
lay it out here
he (Reclusestar) ends up retiring from being leader of SpiderClan and goes to live in a cozy cottage outside of the forest his clan used to reside in with a lesbian couple that takes in cats to foster them to later be adopted. He’s a permanent resident (along with Jess, Peter, Xina, and Mayday, who’s now a young adult cat), meaning he gets to help cats, young and old, adjust to house cat life and generally have a better living situation than before (most of them either being dropped of from owners who can’t take care of them or former street cats)
and yes, that means he gets to help out and play with plenty of kits. All of the kits love him. He basically adopts every kitten that crosses the door. He does cry when they get adopted but he knows that he’ll either get to see them around the city/neighborhood (he’s allowed to wander) or that they’ll remember him as a good father/mentor figure and take his teaching to heart.
he also gets to wear a cute little red and blue bandanna because why not.
the humans end up naming him muffin… yk… if you care.
#If the directors kill him off in the actual movie I will lose my mind#Spiderxpawz Warriors x Spiderverse AU#<- Just gonna make a new tag for it why not I need to post about it more honestly#atsv#across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara#cat miguel#btsv#beyond the spiderverse#spiderverse au#He did actually grow up in a cat shelter but that environment was um#Less than ideal#And then he joined something close to BloodClan in the actual books#Supposed to be a stand in for alchemax#So that’s also less than ideal#And then cat god sends him on a journey to create spiderclan and kills his daughter#Because fuck this guy I guess#Can you tell I’ve been thinking of this cat AU backstory for a while now I feel like I need to find a way to get it all out#But I lose motivation quickly so who knows#Some day#maybe#warriors au
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(consumed with lust voice) omg what a fucking weirdo
#guys i swear im normal#anyways. guess who this is about :D#no points if you guess correctly because it's fucking easy#pip squeaks#bat out of hell
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in awe of the beauty of the world
#art#tes#skyrim#sort of anyways. hes from skyrim so that is how i will classify what is going on here#teldryn sero#tes fanart#i fucking love this guy#sidetracked my quests to give him a walking tour of skyrim after his deeply endearing reaction to the college of winterhold#as someone who never used companions in all my years of playing this game i was thrilled to learn everyone likes this guy as much as i do#also he gets extra points because chitin and netch armors have my heart#the goggles send me joyous places#anyways the state of my sketchbook ever since i descended back into my tes fixation is pretty catastrophic#what with the amount of vivec happening. so look forward to that at some point i guess#ash yams.. hackle-lo.. goggles.. kwama egg.. sujamma.. cup... we are making tinctures tonight
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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Tracked quest: Kill Shamura in Silk Cradle
i just didnt want to do the fucking enemy wave again
#cotl#cult of the lamb#narilamb#I MEAN I GUESS#doodles#thought that wouldnt leave me the fuck alone during a 'kill the bishops in reverse order' run#its shockingly not as hard as i thought to get 12 followers before killing a bishop#because im dumb it's also a permadeath run so. thoughts and prayers guys
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As promised, incredibly stupid s4-5 drawings
#i didn't sign the one I actually colored but it's fucking fine I guess I'll redraw it later anyways#I am never satisfied when I color my shit in fr#martin blackwood you are the realest of the fucking real for asking your man to eldritch-equivelent block someone cuz youre jealous#hate him all you want he's out here speaking the truth#he wants that twink obliterated because he's jealous and he is not ashamed to admit it!#i have so many thoughts and feelings about s5 so far that I must commit to paper hruyggnm#one of which being that Jon is wearing martins flannel in the fucking eminem pose I drew him in#it's the little things I say as I go ever so slightly more insane#my art#the magnus archives#tma season four#tma season 5#tma#tma spoilers#tma fanart#tma podcast#the magnus pod#martin blackwood#jonathan sims the archivist#jonathan sims#jon sims#god i hope those tags arent for the real ass dude#jonny why did you name the poor meow meow after youself man why#jonmartin#good god what is their ship name#jmart#tma jmart#jmart fanart#“ceaseless watcher. show me this guy's balls”#please do not do that I'm quoting a meme
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“Take my hand” pages 5-11
1 - day 2 - truth - 3
#nmweek23#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#i spent all yesterday shading and lettering these your boy is so tired BUT IT WAS WORTH IT#in which i cram way too much into way too little and yet way too many pages for a single day#my sincerest apologies to them on their day but i will make it up to them i PROMISE#‘prove it’ you’ll NEVER GUESS what happens next :^))))) (<-guy who is extremely predictable)#phoenix is so strong because if miles looked at me like that i’d be going crazy and im like a known enemy of edgeworth#see you guys in like 5-7 business days on part 3 o7#fan art#aa#fan comic#rendevok#OH OH ALSO there’s like a whole fucking essay i could write about these pages esp wrt light and also The Hands but youll have to ask for it#just know that if you see something… there was probably a reason for it!#ok thats it fr this time
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the haters are trying to get me to care about canon. they're trying to get me to only fuck with canon. newsflash you stupid bitch if you are in a fandom space you are consuming fanon. i don't CARE that it's canon that bruce wayne has hit his kids in canon. i make my own world where it's common fucking sense that heroes are good people who would not be abusers. "human flaw" this my ass that motherfucker drives a Batmobile and wears a Batsuit and throws around Batarangs. live in a suspended belief and have fun before you dry up and die a sad raisin of a being
#while i'm at it i am so fucking tired of power scaling#“ok these two characters in a fight” how about anything else for fucking once#these 2 characters but they both have to talk to each other while waiting for the train because they accidentally initiated conversation#these 2 characters but they find out they're cousins and are like “how tf did that happen”#these 2 characters but one of them just watched the other trip and fall at Walmart#like yeah sometimes it's annoying when fanon spaces completely misinterpret a character#but sometimes fanon is just more fun or makes MORE SENSE than a canon choice#and i would prefer reading or seeing that#guess what my guy the world is not black and white it has so many colors#open and use the eyeballs in your skull#unless you're like actually blind#then i guess feel every emotion all at once and that would describe a color#erinwantstowrite#dc#batman#robin#canon vs fanon
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Darlings. is it gay when the phantom you created as a manifestation of your dreadfull loneliness takes the form of one of your closest friends.
Fanart of this pretty good horror rarijack fanfic, "The haunting of carroussel boutique" personaly i am surprised the writer didnt take the chance to point out how fucking funny this is. Me n kim started laughing about it during stream and i just had to draw this
#i REALLY didn't mean to make this look like theyre fucking#it just happened i apologize#either way the fanfic is pretty good!#but i couldn't help but realise the writer stook to the horror genre like glue#and didn't think to point out how objectively funny that like.#Rarity is sleeping with a copy of applejack#incredibly akward#incredibly funny#also shoutout to when ghosts are born from a wish#fuckin LOVE that. much better than “some guy died here”#Rarity haunted herself because of her awfull loneliness#lucky for her the real thing has come to the rescue#applejack#rarity#rarijack#mlp#my little pony#suggestive#I GUESS!!!#fanfiction#pony posting#The Haunting of Carousel Boutique#friendship is magic#personaly i coulda done with more romance and smidge bit more of comedy#but the fic is still very VERY well put together#one genre fics are unrelatable to me but i respect the hell outta it
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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Very lazy but I think the final idea for monsterifying my avatar
Z-643 is a previously assumed humanoid figure obscured by a viscous substance resembling oil. The consistency of the fluids it produces is that of blood and is incredibly toxic when come into contact with, causing fatigue and vertigo. Long term exposure, be more than a minute within contact, can create nausea, loss of balance, and even stronger effects of dizziness, eventually leading to affected individuals to fall unconscious and quickly perish. Autopsy reports show that the blood of these victims is entirely changed into the same substance Z-643 produces, although translucent and lacking any of the more dangerous side effects. Further testing shows that Z-643’s blood also causes intense brain activity similar to that of REM sleep even if the individual is fully conscious, causing them to see vivid hallucinations.
If Z-643 is cornered in any way, it’ll feel threatened and let out a infrasonic scream that gradually becomes audible to any listeners as it rapidly destroys the eardrums and promptly kills them. Interaction with Z-643 must be careful and predictable as it’s sight is incredibly sharp, almost seeming like it can anticipate things before they happen. It will rarely move when observed directly as it assumes anything is a threat until proven otherwise. When not directly observed, Z-643 feels safe enough to slowly trudge its containment cell, stopping to stare at anything that piques its interest.
Z-643 can detect eye contact much more keenly when it is on the move. If it detects it’s being observed while it’s moving, it’ll quickly search for a place to hide, preferably where it has a good view of the area that it’s in. Observation through any other means such as cameras do not stir Z-643.
GRAND ENCOUNTER - “ red light green light “
As the player opens the door to the Fallen Angel encounter, they will hear a ringing and be briefly disoriented
The room is a long heavy containment hallway with scratches and puddles of Z-643’s blood as well as various furniture strewn about
There are marks on the ceiling where Z-643 climbed into its position, causing its blood to drip down and possibly hit (and hurt) the player
Z-643 is in a tired state and thus occasionally will close its eyes, player has to move between these periods and stop when it opens its eyes again
Hazards in the room urge the player to keep moving even when Z-643 is observing, this encounter is a test of nerve and patience
Because of the room’s damaged state, lights will flicker and occasionally go out completely, but because any light sources will alert Z-643 of your presence you are forced to navigate without them
When you reach the end of the encounter, Z-643 will retract away from the doorway but continue to monitor you (it won’t aggro at this point)
#myart#roblox pressure#pressure#pressure roblox#roblox oc#roblox games#pressure oc#here we I go I turned my avatar into a monsterrrr#didn’t check to see if this designation was already taken by a canon creature but whatever#my guy is ehhh not that thought out because I’m not that focused on making a monster/experiment oc#buuut I guess to me this is a rare encounter that my avatar could see so. they meet themself as a fucked up abomination we all die yay
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lvl20 cross is my no.1 enemy btw. if i see him there will be an unspecified lethal weapon in my paws and it will be pointed in his general location
#slightly incomprehensible rant in tags#he was made by a pro which becomes obvious when you look into him At All#utmv#not tagging cross even tho i wanna cause like#neg stuff idk#character neg#i guess??#idk i just wanna be hashtag mindful#cw suggestive#in the tags#ive seen ONE SINGLE FIC where he was done well. ONE. ONE SINGLE FIC.#EVERYYYY OTHER ONE#HAS LIKE. DREAM BEING THE UWU HELPLESS BOY AND CROSS BEING GRR ALPHA MALE WHO PROTECTS HIM/SOME NEAR-RABID ANIMAL WITH A BIG DICK NOW IG??#lvl20 cross..... my ENEMY.....#my beloathed#people who make him into a character i can actually tolerate are god(toby fox)'s bestest angels#i fully believe there are tons of people out there that have done him well but after a while i just skipped over any fics with him in it#lvl20 cross could have been great#because like the horror that could come from when you breach a lvl no monster's body was built to endure#purely because you Killed Everyone In Your World#that could be fucked up cool stuff!!!! but no!!!! all he is worth now is to be led on a leash by dream i guess!!!!!!!!!#not a puritan in any sense of the word i have an 18+ account (which is painfully inactive whoops)#nothing wrong with sexing a character up or warping them towards sex appeal for the sake of 18+ content. i am fine with that#but like. lvl20 is just. blatantly brutalizing cross into big dick energy violent murderer guy who needs to be muzzled by dream#shakes you by the shoulders CROSS ISNT A SADISTIC MURDERER HES JUST EDGY!!!!!!!!!!!! HE FEELS SO MUCH GUILT!!!!!!!! COME ON!!!! HE WOULD NO#LIKE TO KILL PEOPLE PERIOD!!!!
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me and that fucking subspace that i hate
raw version without the pixelated jazzy filters and stuff :3
#phighting#phighting!#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#medkit phighting#medkit fanart#medkit#subspace phighting#subspace fanart#subspace#subspace tripmine#subkit#roblox fanart#roblox art#this is da previous paper doodle i did but digital now#idk why i digitalized it i guess i just wanted to color them#well now you have my personal interpretation of them as humans#i kinda struggled a little removing the notepad lines so ignore that..#did you notice it did you notice it#the white roots is a reference to how they have white hair in other versions#the white hairstrands is because theyre both so fucking stressed and old#and the colored streaks is an effect from the crystal :3#all of this is incredibly self indulgent sorru guys#plz dont jump me if i did something wrong 🙏#its not noticeable but instead of giving my subspace pink faded hands hes getting deterioating graying ones#idc im making him look like a half-corpse now#his hairs lighter and graying too coz hes rotting idk#how does the human body work
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okay so. hear me out. but. au concept--
joel is one of many people affected by a Vanishing. its a phenomenon sweeping the country--people simply not showing up for work, school, life one day, as though they've vanished from the face of the earth. it's almost possible to mistake for normal missing persons cases, if it weren't for the way a few of the higher-profile Vanishings have happened to people who shouldn't have been able to vanish at all, let alone in a way that wouldn't be noticed until too late. look at joel's hometown. the people monitoring the dam were supposed to be redundant, and yet--
anyway. not like he cares or anything, except for the fact this stupid disaster or whatever has left him without anywhere to live or anyone to live with, and he still has a year of high school left, so he can't just do whatever he wants. luckily there's this school in a town called new hermiton that agreed to give him a scholarship to finish his education in the name of recovery and solidarity or whatever, and it's kind of a shwankier school than he'd normally go for, but it's free and, more importantly, they're willing to pay for his lodging, and he can't really turn that down. and it's not like he has a choice but to upend his entire life now. so packing what few of his belongings survived into a bag and getting on a train and moving across the country to a new school it is, he guesses.
(he's been having nightmares that inexplicably feature swarms of blue butterflies. last time he checked, lakes don't have butterflies in them. although maybe it's a metaphor or something, on account of the butterflies saying stupid stuff about how people who are remembered can't disappear, and even a false world cannot be erased if it's watched over, and how fate depends on him holding people in his heart. thanks for saying the same stupid shitty platitudes his social worker told him, just more cryptically, butterflies. real cool.)
new hermiton, it turns out, is a small city. while new hermiton academy is a newer school, much of the city is older. he's moved into a nice enough flat in an older apartment building. he has another cryptic butterfly dream. he thinks he remembers someone trying to urgently warn him of something, but it's all... shaky. that morning, he goes to the school for the first time. he's greeted by a fellow transfer student, skizzleman, although apparently he already knows some of the other folks in town, and transferred here so he could stay with them. but it's at least someone else in a similar enough situation to joel, especially since joel can just tell by the way people are looking at him that skizz didn't have much of a choice but to be here, either, and best friends with impulse or not, he's on his own too.
so. a friend. maybe this school won't be that bad, even if joel keeps having nightmares, and even if the weather here is weirdly cold for july, and even if his new homeroom professor keeps on looking at him really weirdly. (aren't professors supposed to be better about stupid rumors anyway? what's that mr. hills's deal?)
and then, two days later, he waves skizz off at the end of the school day, and gets skizz's friend, impulse, at his door, desperate to hear that skizz had just come to stay the night in joel's shitty lonely apartment, because otherwise it looks like--come on man. joel's already having a shit time. the universe deciding to go after his one existing friend too? he promises impulse to help investigate that night, in the vain hope that Skizz isn't one of the Vanished. joel gets a splitting migraine trying to follow their path back, though, and they have to stop for the night.
skizz is reported missing the next morning. joel resigns himself to cutting himself off from the people around him, as per usual. then, strangely, mr. hills corners him as he goes home.
"you'll need this," he says, and shoves what feels like a cheap butterfly knife into joel's hands. "uh, remember, trust your heart! you'll know how to use it."
"what," joel says. "hold on. you're supposed to be a teacher. why are you giving me this. i know for a fact my file says i have like, ptsd or whatever, which is stupid, but you definitely aren't supposed to be giving me a knife, you weirdo?"
"you'll know how to use it," joe hills says again. "goodbye! believe in yourself!"
mr. hills sprints behind a building before he has to explain anything else. joel is left standing on the sidewalk holding a knife, staring after him.
so. that's weird as hell. joel shivers in the cold and continues on his way home. the butterfly knife feels heavy in his pockets. he should probably report that guy to his social worker or something, but actually talking to his social worker feels like conceding defeat. joel can take care of himself. he can prove he can take care of himself. just watch him. step one: go out to get ramen because he forgot to buy any food for his apartment.
he sees impulse putting up signs as he eats. impulse looks miserable. joel thinks about how skizz, just in the short time he'd known him, had sort of unintentionally given away that he felt isolated after his mother Vanished. that impulse was a great friend, but impulse didn't understand what it was like. he never really SAID as much, but--
it's not fair to impulse, for that to be the last thing impulse remembered of what was apparently a friend since childhood. and joel doesn't care about any of these guys, but he can still pay his check and go out and help impulse go looking. he's no good at comforting people and doesn't know this guy, but joel had been alone too, sitting on the roof and crying, when the helicopters came.
except when they go back to the path by the school, joel's head starts to hurt again.
he looks up and there's a butterfly.
"hey, impulse, are butterflies common here?" he asks, a little desperately.
"i mean, not really, why?" impulse says.
"uh," joel says, and gestures. the two of them stare as the strange yellow butterfly circles in place.
"okay, so that is kind of weird," impulse admits.
"right?" joel says. "the only way it would be weirder is if it were blue." impulse gives him a look. joel does not explain.
it starts to fly away.
"we should follow it," impulse says, his voice getting a little dull. "yeah. we should follow it."
"what? no! no we should not follow the haunted butterfly, are you nuts?" joel says, but it's a bit too late. (maybe this is what the knife is for: stabbing impulse. it would be an effective method of stopping him!) he chases impulse down, down to the river, where yellow butterflies are swarming. impulse, as though possessed, simply steps into the swarm and falls through them to the water.
joel's, uh, freaking out more than a little bit? he'll admit he's freaking out. he dives forward to try to grab him, only to realize that he doesn't see impulse anywhere.
a single blue butterfly lands on joel's shoulder. "do you hold his heart next to yours?"
"i'm going insane," joel says.
"no heart is meant to be completely alone. do you hold his next to yours?"
"this isn't happening," joel says. "this is like a stupid manga or something. it's not happening."
"there is still time to save them; you must hold your heart strong, or the consequences will be dire. i believe in you."
the butterfly vanishes.
"fuck it," joel says. "if i drown then it's nothing people haven't expected of me anyway."
he steps through the swarm of butterflies.
that night, he drags both impulse and skizz out of the river. they're all freezing cold. shadows and strange, yellowy liquid still cling to all of their skin. also, joel stabbed himself, which like, glad to know that's what the knife was for, apparently, and the scar is warm and comforting. he can feel his--persona, and don't ask him how he knows that--shifting under his skin, under the mark on his hand. it said its name is pygmalion; it says it is a piece of joel's soul.
this is all patently insane. but skizz and impulse are alive and NOT eaten by shadow monsters, so even if they're both a little unconscious, joel takes that as a win.
they lie on the ground outside the river. someone stumbles across them. "well give me some teeth and call me an alligator. you got out on your own," breathes a fellow student clutching a dagger. joel thinks he's in the class across the hall. also--
"what are you talking about," joel wheezes.
"you found it on your own. you can find them?" the student says. his eyes are wide. something in joel's soul recognizes something in the student's. something in joel's BRAIN puts two and two together and realizes why mr. hills gave him a knife.
"no. no, go away, i don't want to be involved in this," joel says.
"well, don't you think it's too late for that?" the student says, and joel passes out. he's pretty sure the butterflies have to be laughing at him. in fact, as though to mock him further, after passing out, he doesn't even get to avoid it forever, because he wakes up in a glowing blue boat. there is a man with white-blonde hair, blue eyes, and a blue outfit leaning over him, poking him.
joel takes no responsibility for punching him. he'd do it again, too, as the long-nosed man sitting next to the unmanned steering wheel welcomes him to the velvet room.
(this, joel realizes later, all rather sets the tone for what the next year of his life is about to become.)
#hermitcraft#joel smallishbeans#smallishsona au#THAT'S RIGHT BABY ITS THE PERSONA AU I WAS WAFFLING ABOUT#because i'm playing p3re right now this is pretty p3 inspired but also expect elements of p4 (my fav) and p5#i. do not know enough about p1 and p2 to be using all these butterflies but FUCK IT WE BALL.#a bee fic#KIND OF I GUESS I'LL PUT THIS THERE.#anyway the idea is that this au is half a crack au and half DEEPLY SINCERE#because the JOKE is that joel hates every minute of being a persona protagonist#but the OTHER bit is that joel is genuinely an extremely loyal guy who would do VERY WELL as a persona protagonist#you just have to drag him there kicking and screaming#(sort of in a very. p3-esque way)
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Happy Halloween! I decide to dress up as a dragon for the occasion, but, uh, I can't seem to take the costume off. I may be stuck like this...
...Oh well!
#art#digital art#my art#oc: kolya#oc: dragon kolya#anthro#anthro art#(I guess it's not really anthro)#(but that's just what I tag all my furry art so)#furry#furry art#dragon#furry dragon#dragon furry#feral dragon#(should I tag it pokemon too? I guess?)#pokemon#pokemon art#skeledirge#malachite thoughts#guys. this drawing guys#it has caused me So Much pain#and it took fucking forever because I've been too busy with other shit#started it pretty early in the month and only just finished it today#which also means I'm probably gonna notice some huge mistake on it by tomorrow#and I will die kshjdfkj
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I think such a big reason my trans manhood feels almost... bigendered is simply because in the eyes of most people (specifically cis people with whom I interact with most), I straddle this weird line wherein I am a man and often am seen as one, but I am also clearly undefinable insofar as cis theory goes, clearly queer, clearly outside of manhood if one only accepts cishet, patriarchal manhood. This definitely used to be a source of dysphoria for me, but I think now that I've transitioned, it's been interesting to explore this more. Am I wholly a man? Yes. Am I a man of multitudes? Yes. Do these multitudes contradict? Well, that depends on your definition of "contradiction"
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#i've been thinking more about multigenderedness and i think my own experiences are nuanced in such a way where i am both...#...not multigendered but also am. i am constantly in a state of being and unbeing...#...and i guess to many that's insanity but to me it just feels like a consequence of living in the world we live in#i can fully accept my manhood whilst also recognizing that we really do Live In a Society and i want to explore that#i don't consider myself GNC at all because i do not feel like i am 'nonconforming' to manhood...#...but i DO feel as though my trans manhood is in a way bigendered#the guys that get it get it and the guys that don't don't#and similarly#the girls that get it get it and the girls that don't don't#i don't think it's a coincidence that i've started exploring this after going on T...#...i've only recently been comfortable with doing this because i'm. actually fucking happy. for once. and that's given me more interest...#...in actually knowing who i am. who knew. because before i knew enough of who i was but didn't give a shit about myself and. that SUCKED
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