#BE STILL MY HEART!!!!
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Lyra, my beloved cat of 13 years, passed away this year on Father's Day. She's been by my side through very difficult times and was my little rock of steady and unrelenting love. I struggled a lot drawing this, and struggled a lot posting it, but I know I would've wanted to read a comic like this that validated my grief for her when I lost her.
Wherever you are, Lyra my little summer star, I love you always! Thank you for being the best thing in my life.
#my art#comic#comics#pet loss#grief#dealing with grief#truly did not think I would survive her loss#it has been very difficult if I can be honest#it's been 6 months and I still cry most days#But currently I have a foster cat in my home#She's not at all the same as Lyra#But I'm learning the capacity of my heart to grow larger to allow another cat to live in it#my heart is a home to many cats
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#sprouts log#crossposting this here—maybe delete later#but there are things i still have power over#and fuck it all i will do those things#and i will do those things with fury in my heart but i will do those things#us politics
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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.
What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.
What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.
What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.
The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.
And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.
But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.
I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.
#shut up e#long post#Saturday thoughts#this has been in my drafts for a week haha#also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong#forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong#because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation#even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it#unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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some vash sketches as i figure out how i'm gonna draw him
#trigun#vash the stampede#digital art#fanart#i feel like i'm probably gonna lean towards making stampede vash kinda transform into his manga counterpart#but i'm. uncertain still#vash is someone i wanna rotate around in my head and see all his angles#and i feel like stampede is such a fascinating angle of his character#cause it's vash. but he's also very different from his other versions#rambling in notes is what i do baby#shart from the heart
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Just some more thoughts on that jayvik dbh au
#I got a lot of people saying that Viktor should be the Android#which I did mention in the tags last time#but after thinking about it I just think that the human experience is such an integral part of viktor as a character#(aside from the fact that it makes every character ever)#his pain and suffering due to his illness and disability and class#like I can’t take that away from him#not that Jayce doesn’t go through his own things too#but I think Jayce’s naïveté from season one lends itself well to an Android in awe of human life#and a jaded but wise Viktor who still has a good heart and sense of humour#I mean this is just my version of the au and like I think I said in my tags last time im pretty sure I’ve seen a few around with android V#definitely got recommended some fics that I’m excited to check out!#sorry for rambling - this isn’t to discredit any other interpretations!! just kind of exploring my thought process behind it :)#oh also sorry that this is angsty lol#it’s fine#my art#arcane#jayvik#Jayce talis#jayce arcane#Viktor arcane#dbh#detroit become human#arcane au#noodles talks#(in the tags)
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just a friendly reminder that, just because slavery was formally "abolished" in the so-called united states* in 1865, enslavement itself is still ongoing in the form of incarceration, which disproportionately affects Black and Indigenous people
(*i say "so-called" because the US is a settler-colonial construction founded on greed, extraction, and white supremacy) recommended readings/resources:
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
"How the 13th Amendment Kept Slavery Alive: Perspectives From the Prison Where Slavery Never Ended" by Daniele Selby
"So You're Thinking About Becoming an Abolitionist" by Mariame Kaba
"The Case for Prison Abolition: Ruth Wilson Gilmore on COVID-19, Racial Capitalism & Decarceration" from Democracy Now! [VIDEO]
#i know most of u probably followed me for fandom stuff but abolition and decolonization and sex workers' rights are so close to my heart#normally i'd post this on my academia blog but i have more followers here so. here ya go#enslavement is still ongoing in SO many other ways and it disproportionately targets BIPOC and disabled and impoverished people#might make another post about that#prison abolition#abolition#racial justice#juneteenth#social justice#human rights#resources#police abolition#decolonization#michelle alexander#mariame kaba#ruth wilson gilmore#13th amendment#antiracism
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this was supposed to be a new years picture but we're way past that already. so now this is just. an ode to a found family 💜
#still couldn't get taash quite right but. this is as close as i can get for everyone's faces so far ig hkshds i Cannot look at this anymore#seeing them all happy and smiling and hugging does something to my cold cold heart. missing poster: HAVE YOU SEEN MY FAMILY#taash#emmrich volkarin#lace harding#davrin#assan#endras mercar#rook mercar#rook#manfred#lucanis dellamorte#neve gallus#bellara lutare#datv#dav#veilguard#fanart#digital art#art#my art#artists on tumblr#it'll be a simple sketch she said. ill just do it really fast she said. lol. lmao even#i miss them o(-<
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Decided to render an old doodle request of tiny Miles and his dad :')
#i still get notifications from that post and felt they deserved to be fully rendered#i was in shambles making this#ough my heart#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#gregory edgeworth#ace attorney fanart#my art
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The second gif is, in my opinion, is the COOLEST THING TOOTHLESS HAS AND EVER WILL DO!!!!!!!!!!!
Fight me.
There is something so incredibly satisfying about these scenes I cannot describe
#Gifs#Non-spoiler#Z contributes#HTTYD#Hiccup#Flying#Hiccless#Iconic#Toothless#Animation#Bada**good guy!!!#Best scene!#Top one is AWESOME too!#But he just pushes...against...air...his head twists first...and the music...and then the pov shot...they don't even do slo-mo!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I COULD WATCH THIS GLORY ALL DAY FOREVER!!!!#PERFECTION!!!#YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!#BEST SCENE EVER!!!#I LOVE THIS SCENE!!#I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS SCENE!!!#AAAAAWWWYYYEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!#I CAN'T EVEN.....#I LOVE THIS!!!!#SSSSSSSSQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#BE STILL MY HEART!!!!#I LOVE THIS SCENE SO FREAKING MUCH!!!!
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i promise im not being tooooo mean to stan
i also couldnt figure it out when someone showed it to me the first time NUDNDJDRNJFJ
love sibling energy hehe
[ID: Ford Pines and Stan Pines are making heart shapes with their pointer finger snd middle fingers. Ford is giggling at Stan and doing it correctly, while Stan struggles and says, "Keep laughing! See what happens-"
The second drawing is of Ford unable to contain his laughter anymore, and Stan jumping to attack him, shouting, "I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-" while it is implied off screen that Mable and Dipper are pulling him back, while shouting his name. Mable thinks its funny, while Dipper is comically concerned. End ID.]
#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#stan pines#ford pines#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#eggscargo my art#there is nothing more special than being close enoigh with a family member where you can just be little shits to each other#all good naturedly of course#i think they still bicker a lot#and that warms my heart in a weird way haha#my twin is like the closest ill ever be to a human being and we still bicker
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could you draw Momo and Okarun getting married?
Cool couples don't look at explosions or whatever
#boom clap the sound of my heart#drawing okarun with that hairstyle is so weird i hope you can still tell its him#momo ayase#ken takakura#okarun#momokarun#dandadan
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x09 - “The Dirt Under Your Nails.”
#theyre sooooooooo 🥺🥺🥺#caitvi#arcane#arcaneedit#piltover's finest#wlwedit#caitlyn x vi#vi x caitlyn#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#vi#vi arcane#arcane vi#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#s2 ep9#arcane season 2#arcane s2#being serious fr that this blog wouldnt even exist without caitvi so yeah like i love the show but i wouldnt rlly#be making a dedicated sideblog about it and would just prolly post gifs occasionally on my main#congrats to the lesbians for melting this cold cold ex-retired fandom gifmaker's heart bc i usually dont ship things THIS hard#I STILL HAVE TO MAKE A GIANT CAITVI SET OF EVERYTHING FROM S2 and it will prolly break ur phones again but idc bc i must make the gays
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to the tumblr anon who asked for more fiddauthor, you are welcome -w-
#gravity falls#fiddauthor#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#illustration#sorry to all my moots for my hyperfixation but i cant be stopped#this is my life for the next few months#ayanart#gravity falls had my heart as a kid it has it still now
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98 lovemail doodles >_<
#trigun#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#nicholas d wolfwood#i was able to convince my friend to start 98 after we got back from AX HAHA and so i wanted to doodle the gang again ^_^#it's so funny how i always draw trimax ww super grumpy but then my 98ww is always such a goofy goober BAHAHA#trimax ww is still pookie to me tho dont get it twisted!!! ^_^#but yeah it's fun to decide how i want to differentiate between the different versions of ww#also i love 98 meryl so much she is so let me speak to the manager core (heart eyes)#and the color palette for vash i referenced from the lost july episode bc I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH THE COLORS IN THE PLANT STATION SCENES#idk what it is abt it but it tickles my brain. so pretty T__T#man im fr that type of artist who is posting different versions of the same drawings on different platforms LOL#but yall on tumblr and ig get it better imo hehe. when i post on twitter im like fucket whatever#i usually dont post on tumblr/ig until a day or two later so by then i make a couple of changes/finish stuff/color stuff#so here u go enjoy the colored versions of these doodles HAHA
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made a guy btw
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