#Attachment style stuff

[marsduality]

Questions to Assess For Secure Attachment

From Diane Poole Heller's The Power of Attachment

Do you want to be close to others, find it easy to connect, and expect relationships to go well?

Do you feel relaxed most of the time with the people who are close to you?

Do you transition between alone time and time together fluidly without much difficulty?

Do you and your partner apologize easily and work for win-win solutions to any conflicts that arise?

Do you believe that people are basically good at heart?

It is important to you to meet the needs of the people who are close to you?

Do you easily and clearly ask to have your own needs met?

Are you present with your loved ones and free yourself from distractions when connecting?

Do you work to maintain safety in your relationships, and do you protect those with whom you feel close?

Are you affectionate with those with whom you feel close?

Do you respect others’ needs for privacy?

How important are healthy boundaries to you?

Do you leave when things are too off in a relationship, knowing there are other great options for fulfilling relationships?

Do you make time to play regularly?

[worldwidewandress]

the baggage

everyone comes into a relationship with baggage. most people drop it when carrying gets heavy. the right person helps you unpack. goes both ways. the question is - are you ready to unpack?

so you're either gonna trip over each other's stuff or you gonna unpack together. there's no other way. once you're ready for the latter, wash the dirty pieces first, handle them with care, then fold them nicely - in a shared closet.

home is built on all the stuff we carry around heavy trying to shake off or run away from, until we're ready to sit with them, unpack carefully, and eventually decorate our space with.

[hisenemy]

lol .

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Lockjaw

YA horror

set in a small town, where a boy died tragically in an old abandoned mill

a group of 11yos on bikes are determined to find the monster and hunt it down - while facing the monsters and prejudices haunting their small town

and some teens, including one of the kids’ sister, a genderqueer guy who tried to get out of town but was drawn back, a homeless trans guy and his dog, and the police captain’s son who get drawn into the web of it all against their will

shifting timelines and perspectives from various kids and residents of the town (plus the dog)

[strawberri-draws]

Experimental comic page I liked 💫

[sleepynegress]

So, this discourse is the main character moment of twitter right now...

And I have thoughts. First of all, the rise of anti-sex discourse in media is firmly based in white supremacist puritanical bullshit. The Hays Code was all about enforcing heteronormative lily-white "wholesome". LGBTQ folk and people of color, and women's pleasure(!) ALWAYS were disproportionately struck with harsher ratings. Second, film/tv/streaming has actually trended towards less sexuality recently? To the detriment of the quality of media that does center it, IMO (or why 50 Shades & 365 were oddly popular, despite being trash)....

Third, and thankfully, even more recently, I'm seeing the turn back towards sexuality in narratives but handled more thoughtfully than in the days of white male directors putting their kinks and fetishes on film (or why Bridgerton and it's spin-off is popular). Thanks to Intimacy coordinators and a broader gaze steering the proceedings. I really think a revolution is coming and all it will take is one big mainstream hit that is thoroughly sexy and undeniably good to critics and audiences. Preferrably *not* with het white leads.

[pasta-pardner]

a year ago today, I started my youtube channel! here's a retrospective on some of the type design I've made for my videos since then.

Check the link to see this typography animated! (+ an assortment of cowboy fanvids)

[kitten-babee]

Once I get rid of my attachment issues it’s over for yall

[anthromimicry]

[big8cola]

i will be 100% real with uguys i think the introvert extrovert thing is so fake and not real

[n3onwraith]

Okay hi yeah working on getting a side blog or two together for the rvb rp stuff but should I do a canon character and an oc or two canon or two ocs cause I'm tempted to do one of each (I have I d e a s) but then I also don't know which oc to use, Kansas or Crosshair 🙏

I still need to flesh out Crosshair either way so this could be my opportunity to do that but I also have to have a good excuse for them being alive (ex-space pirate because I like how the armor looks and that's my only reason for it 🙏) or I have an idea for another one but UGH. HELP

[marsduality]

Tiktok by @Orions_charge

[Beginning of Transcript]

Things I wish I - the anxious partner - had gotten in the habit of saying to my avoidant partner:

"I feel really flooded right now by feelings of fear. [I'd] cope through the rest of this conversation so much better if we could take just a moment for you to reassure me that you care about me and that you're committed to working through this problem with me."

"It's totally okay if you need to be quiet or take some space for your self - but if you could check in with me before you go to bed tonight that would really mean a lot to me."

"These are needs of yours that [are] difficult for me to meet without significant damage to my own well-being. Can we talk about some alternate ways for you to get the safety and space that you need to be well?"

"Its damaging to me when your storm out of a conversation or Stonewall me. If you could take a moment to ask for the space that you need instead, that would be so helpful."

"Things are going really well between us right now - Love it. Let's use that good energy to do a Check-In. How do you feel things are going for us? Is there anything I can do to support you better? Here are some requests about ways that you can support me better in the relationship. I love you and I will do anything within my healthy means to help you feel safe and supported."

[end transcript]

[worldwidewandress]

Feeling constantly drained in relationships with other people where giving and receiving is rarely healthily balanced?

Let me guess—you grew up emotionally neglected where love was conditional and care inconsistent?

Read on ...

You’re not just doing nice things for people ...

... nor are you just trying to make them feel good ...

... nor merely feeling responsible for their emotions or ‘fixing’ their moods to maintain peace and harmony.

What you’re actually doing is ...

... (unconsciously) choosing people who mistreat you, and when they hurt you, you try to ‘prove’ your worth and ‘convince’ them to treat you better, rather than walking away ...

... you seek validation from the same place that takes it away from you ...

... you’re trying to 'win' love and approval of the same people that withhold it ...

... you’re trying to get your core needs met in the same place that keeps depriving you of them ...

... you’re trying to ‘survive’ in the same environment where, once, walking away was not an option ...

... and so you prioritize unhealthy attachments over your well-being in the aim to (unconsciously) 'rewrite' the painful past which only keeps the cycle going ...

... while disconnecting from it triggers your survival instincts ...

... and that’s the core of your trauma response called people-pleasing.

It’s time to stop. You are worthy of everything your heart desires without having to overextend yourself. You just need to learn to really believe in it before you're ready to make different choices. Awareness is the first step. It's safe to walk away; this time—you will survive. (;

[sugarcandydoll]

changed my pfp back to my old one coz i was missing it sm feel like it a part of me now ♡(⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄‸o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝)

[zombiekittypets]

gravity falls self insert "reference"/doodle page *slightly* more in line with the shows style

[sysig]

Yeah of course I’m still thinking about plushies, what else (Patreon)

Most specifically thinking about magnets again - there’s the obvious of putting it in their hands so they can hold hands!

Of course if they’re on the same side i.e. right hand gets south polarity, left gets north, they’d only be able to hold opposite hands, so no handshakes (but I think that’s fine personally haha)

But on top of hands they could also have magnets behind their mouth! Kiss-magnets! My only real concern is the fabric pulling and developing kiss-wrinkles from being pressed against each other haha

They’d also be able to giggle with their palms to their mouths hehe, how cute! It’d depend on their kiss polarity

Which would of course depend on ship compatibility! Max has to be able to kiss Dex and Caleb, so if that makes it that Caleb and Dex can’t kiss, I mean that’s just an unfortunate side effect haha