#Attachment style stuff | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

marsduality · 2 years ago

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Questions to Assess For Secure Attachment

From Diane Poole Heller's The Power of Attachment

Do you want to be close to others, find it easy to connect, and expect relationships to go well?

Do you feel relaxed most of the time with the people who are close to you?

Do you transition between alone time and time together fluidly without much difficulty?

Do you and your partner apologize easily and work for win-win solutions to any conflicts that arise?

Do you believe that people are basically good at heart?

It is important to you to meet the needs of the people who are close to you?

Do you easily and clearly ask to have your own needs met?

Are you present with your loved ones and free yourself from distractions when connecting?

Do you work to maintain safety in your relationships, and do you protect those with whom you feel close?

Are you affectionate with those with whom you feel close?

Do you respect others’ needs for privacy?

How important are healthy boundaries to you?

Do you leave when things are too off in a relationship, knowing there are other great options for fulfilling relationships?

Do you make time to play regularly?

#secure attachment #secure attachment skills #diane poole heller #the power of attachment #attachment style stuff #highlights from currently reading

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hisenemy · 15 days ago

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aiko :/

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worldwidewandress · 3 months ago

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the baggage

everyone comes into a relationship with baggage. most people drop it when carrying gets heavy. the right person helps you unpack. goes both ways. the question is - are you ready to unpack?

so you're either gonna trip over each other's stuff or you gonna unpack together. there's no other way. once you're ready for the latter, wash the dirty pieces first, handle them with care, then fold them nicely - in a shared closet.

home is built on all the stuff we carry around heavy trying to shake off or run away from, until we're ready to sit with them, unpack carefully, and eventually decorate our space with.

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theswedishpajas · 6 days ago

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The energy of that one section towards the end or something

#my art stuff #digital art #hatoful boyfriend #sakuya le bel shirogane #okosan #vegeta and goku in the rain #guy drinking rain #meme #art meme #i should really draw more cel shading in my own style #…is it still cel shading when I have so many layers that overlap?#eh - you get what I mean #struggled with this at first cus I’ve never really drawn birds and pigeons are very sleek and round which is the opposite of my style #but I got there in the end #I’m really rather happy with the result actually #WE FINALLY FINISHED THE GAME BTW #my friend got the… holiday star one(?)#so we’re gonna play that next - VERY excited!!!!!#Everybody a big thanks to my friend Ker for bringing me birds to get attached to #first time in a while I’ve hand an unexpected new animal to care a lot about #prolly won’t be as much as koalas or cats #prolly a lot more focused on these particular birds as people - but it might force my brain to care enough to learn random stuff #either way - a win is a win #haven’t listened to the stuff yet but we’ll get to that eventually 👁👁

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ghostofsnails · 8 days ago

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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and

#disventure camp #disventure camp fanart #tristan vik #disventure camp tristan #ghostofsnails #my art #It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this #like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them #ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON #actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball #i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped #i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so #kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth #stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy #they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too #Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR #CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN #THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.

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angelic-waffles · 2 months ago

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Futch lesbian

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aroaessidhe · 4 months ago

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2024 reads / storygraph

Lockjaw

YA horror

set in a small town, where a boy died tragically in an old abandoned mill

a group of 11yos on bikes are determined to find the monster and hunt it down - while facing the monsters and prejudices haunting their small town

and some teens, including one of the kids’ sister, a genderqueer guy who tried to get out of town but was drawn back, a homeless trans guy and his dog, and the police captain’s son who get drawn into the web of it all against their will

shifting timelines and perspectives from various kids and residents of the town (plus the dog)

#lockjaw #matteo l. cerilli #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #this is a unique and atmospheric slow-building YA horror!#the writing style/format is a bit different from a lot of current YA - it’s a little distant from the characters themselves sometimes #meaning I didn’t feel super attached to all of them; but it also felt like unique storytelling.#There’s the occasional omniscient headhopping that I couldn’t quite tell if it was intentional or not…#It's a little confusing at times and I feel like I didn't quite get everything that was happening; but that’s kinda the point of the book.#you don’t exactly know what’s going on immediately. I think that adds to the atmosphere though.#Especially with the time stuff - but honestly I think that’s kind of the point -the weird haze of an unwelcoming community in a cycle of #violence and it’s more about the characters and community itself.#I think it's partly also my fault for being slightly distracted while listening to the audiobook haha.#Honestly I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it? But it was interesting for sure.#trans books #(also the girl is a lesbian though it's not brought up as much)

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strawberri-draws · 1 year ago

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Experimental comic page I liked 💫

#my art #strawberridraws #art #comic #oc #OCs #oc art #my ocs #Berri actually being productive and working on a project??? unthinkable #yes this is the same as the copper android girl and the color pallets #I’m very attached to this smal story #I took inspo for this of a comic I saw on Pinterest #obviously I changed it up and stuff but the way the character was standing in front of the panels #and the big panel on top two little panels and big panel on bottom #anywaysss this was sooo fun #I’m very proud of this actually #idk if I’ll stick with this coloring style #(specifically the way I shaded this)#but I think it was great practice for … future things *evil laughter*

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sleepynegress · 1 year ago

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So, this discourse is the main character moment of twitter right now...

And I have thoughts. First of all, the rise of anti-sex discourse in media is firmly based in white supremacist puritanical bullshit. The Hays Code was all about enforcing heteronormative lily-white "wholesome". LGBTQ folk and people of color, and women's pleasure(!) ALWAYS were disproportionately struck with harsher ratings. Second, film/tv/streaming has actually trended towards less sexuality recently? To the detriment of the quality of media that does center it, IMO (or why 50 Shades & 365 were oddly popular, despite being trash)....

Third, and thankfully, even more recently, I'm seeing the turn back towards sexuality in narratives but handled more thoughtfully than in the days of white male directors putting their kinks and fetishes on film (or why Bridgerton and it's spin-off is popular). Thanks to Intimacy coordinators and a broader gaze steering the proceedings. I really think a revolution is coming and all it will take is one big mainstream hit that is thoroughly sexy and undeniably good to critics and audiences. Preferrably *not* with het white leads.

#I have other thoughts #and I'll likely reblog with them later #so much money is being left on the table because we're in a weird purity culture times when it comes to sexuality on film #I'd be throwing money at popular romance writers who are of color and/or queer #to adapt their stuff #I 100% think a taken seriously Castlevania style adaption of the Ice Planet series would make bank #blah blah #meta #I'm demi and love romance and sexuality in books and film precisely because I don't feel that unless emotions are attached

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pasta-pardner · 1 year ago

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a year ago today, I started my youtube channel! here's a retrospective on some of the type design I've made for my videos since then.

Check the link to see this typography animated! (+ an assortment of cowboy fanvids)

#pardner posts #red dead #dollars trilogy #rdr2 #for a few dollars more (1965)#rdr:un #fistful of dollars (1964)#sukiyaki western django (2007)#butch cassidy and the sundance kid (1969)#brokeback mountain (2005)#the good the bad and the ugly (1966)#im not gonna tag individual characters on this one bc it'll surpass the tumblr tag limit #i majored in graphic design in college and this is what im doing with it -- cowboy fanvids #lmk if u have a favorite typography set !!!#personally my fave is the stuff for world ender bc i think it looks great animated #but the most labor-intensive projects were #when i replicated arthur morgan's handwriting style for always gold #and the title card filters + balancing multiple fonts for faster gun #so im particularly attached to them #anyways -- here's to another year of hopefully more good fanvids !#:D #westerns #🤠#🍝#videos

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kitten-babee · 7 months ago

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Once I get rid of my attachment issues it’s over for yall

#depressing shit #self h@rm #tw depressing stuff #tw depressing thoughts #tw self destruction #suic1de #tw sui ideation #cvutting #sorry for being depressing #baby cvts #attachment issues #attachment styles

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marsduality · 2 years ago

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Tiktok by @Orions_charge

[Beginning of Transcript]

Things I wish I - the anxious partner - had gotten in the habit of saying to my avoidant partner:

"I feel really flooded right now by feelings of fear. [I'd] cope through the rest of this conversation so much better if we could take just a moment for you to reassure me that you care about me and that you're committed to working through this problem with me."

"It's totally okay if you need to be quiet or take some space for your self - but if you could check in with me before you go to bed tonight that would really mean a lot to me."

"These are needs of yours that [are] difficult for me to meet without significant damage to my own well-being. Can we talk about some alternate ways for you to get the safety and space that you need to be well?"

"Its damaging to me when your storm out of a conversation or Stonewall me. If you could take a moment to ask for the space that you need instead, that would be so helpful."

"Things are going really well between us right now - Love it. Let's use that good energy to do a Check-In. How do you feel things are going for us? Is there anything I can do to support you better? Here are some requests about ways that you can support me better in the relationship. I love you and I will do anything within my healthy means to help you feel safe and supported."

[end transcript]

#Attachment style stuff #Orions charge #Anxious Attachment #Avoidant Attachment #Stonewalling #Communication #check ins

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hisenemy · 3 months ago

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