#so im particularly attached to them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pasta-pardner · 1 year ago

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a year ago today, I started my youtube channel! here's a retrospective on some of the type design I've made for my videos since then.

Check the link to see this typography animated! (+ an assortment of cowboy fanvids)

#pardner posts #red dead #dollars trilogy #rdr2 #for a few dollars more (1965)#rdr:un #fistful of dollars (1964)#sukiyaki western django (2007)#butch cassidy and the sundance kid (1969)#brokeback mountain (2005)#the good the bad and the ugly (1966)#im not gonna tag individual characters on this one bc it'll surpass the tumblr tag limit #i majored in graphic design in college and this is what im doing with it -- cowboy fanvids #lmk if u have a favorite typography set !!!#personally my fave is the stuff for world ender bc i think it looks great animated #but the most labor-intensive projects were #when i replicated arthur morgan's handwriting style for always gold #and the title card filters + balancing multiple fonts for faster gun #so im particularly attached to them #anyways -- here's to another year of hopefully more good fanvids !#:D #westerns #🤠#🍝#videos

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yuenity · 4 months ago

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why is the dark fandom so small 😭😭 I just want to read about Jonas and Hanno but you’re telling me there’s only 38 fics on ao3?

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miciiq · 6 months ago

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Got Aventurine in 60 pulls!

He’s so auxhuehuche I’m so happy I have him now

#This is actually from 10 days ago but i forgot to post it so #I started on the 20th and i just got to equilibrium 3 #Im at the part where we should leave luofu but we visit a few friends we made along the way or smth #Im so happy hes my first limited 5 star i love him #Hes my second oshi after dan heng or maybe even my first #I want to change the voicing to english for aventurine but i cant bring myself to abandon ito kento as dan heng #Maybe i can just change it to en for most of penacony and change it back when jing yuan and dan heng somehow appear #Ugh im still regretting missing out on jing yuan voiced by cyyu #But Ito kento #But i also like english dan heng too omg #Oh i also want to hear eng dr ratio bc he acts slightly differently towards aventurine compared to like jp #Like he sounded much more uh passionate in the aventurine keeping up with star rail video and i was living for it #hsr #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail #Aventurine #aventurine hsr #star rail aventurine #Hm idk im not sure if i should skip all 4 characters in 2.2 and after that (firefly and jade etc)#I have almost 100 tickets saved rn but like im not rly sure ab pulling for any of them #Idk im not really attached to any of the characters rn #Maybe i should wait for ruan mei? I don’t particularly love her tho shes inhumane but pretty idrc #Firefly and robin are apparently rly good but i feel like im baiting myself everytime i read another reddit thread and watch another video #Like idk the only 5 stars i have are yanqing dr ratio and aventurine all e0s0 and i dont feel like pulling for topaz either (boothill idk)#im really tempted to pull for jingliu but im probably going to pull for dhil maybe next year when he reruns just bc i like him so again idk

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worfianism · 1 year ago

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Listen whoever decided to pair up La'an and an alternate version of Jim Kirk in a romcom style classic time travel episode actually galaxy brained. Freaking great episode.

#snw #star trek #listen i feel nervous about saying this because spirk is so popular (as it should be i too am a spirk girlie in some ways)#but damn christina chong and paul wesley had CHEMISTRY man #and la'an deserves good things and it was just so sad all of it was so sad #i hope her and jim end up as friends eventually in the proper timeline #also just what a great la'an episode #i love the la'an episodes on snw (including the gorn centric ones i know people dont like the snw gorn but i havent seen them on tos yet so #im not particularly attached to them so i just really love the la'an episodes)#and christina chong was so good man!!!#this maybe my fav snw episode to date #its competing with spock amok i think #v makes a post #i dont know why im putting my full thoughts in the tags but i guess i am #the inclusion of jim i will say is a little random unless this will be brought back in some way but the pairing was genuinely great that i #will ignore that it jim's inclusion was basically just to say that jim featured in this snw episode #also this is a huge day for james kirk girlies of which i am one

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bunisher · 5 months ago

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i love dex but i reallyyyyyy wish they hadn’t played into the tired ableistic trope of diagnosing him with bpd. especially considering you can’t even get properly diagnosed with personality disorders until 18 (at least in the US) and i think it would’ve been better if they left his diagnosis up to interpretation.

#they could’ve diagnosed him with RAD or ODD but those also play into heavy ableism involving kids with attachment trauma #particularly with foster youth and adoptees so im not a big fan of it either #but those are the precursor diagnoses that tell psychiatrists ‘this kid is on their way to developing a pd’#so that was an option #not a great one because of the stigma and stereotypes that go along with them but it was a more realistic option #but im personally tired of having every character with bpd be a serial killer #obviously this is not the only instance of ableism in nmcu dd but i haven’t seen it talked about before so #also i don’t think he has bpd. I need to rewatch to psychoanalyze him again #it would’ve just been better for them not to diagnose him especially bc 5/9 criteria isn’t fucking murder ?!#but i don’t think he fits the criteria #you know who does imo though? matt #and they’re paralleled to each other but i personally think later in adult life #matt meets the criteria more #(also before anyone is like ‘why are u allowed to do this and not the writers’ it is bc i have the aforementioned disorder #and have done extensive research on it because i was also told i had it at the same age as dex so i really saw myself in him and was #disappointed when his diagnosis was shown on screen. i talked to my therapist about it and she shares the same opinion)#bullseye #benjamin poindexter #daredevil tv #nmcu daredevil #nmcu inspired #ableism in media

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minakoaiinos · 6 months ago

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Me when I think my dad is cool and admirable

#the previous earl lost the game lol #like i think if ciel's dad came back from the dead instead of ciel prime that ciel would have the same im the earl reaction #i don't have a reading of this narrative at all that he's trying to be his dad or wants sebastian to be his dad bc number one i think...#...vincent only looks like sebastian bc that's yana's art style and number two it also gets on my nerves the really fandom-y brain to...#...assign found family into actual nuclear family roles. when ciel's whole house now is made up of relationships that are really only...#...defined by how much they all love each other. it's the opposite of what his life was like before where he was stuck in like. an older...#...brother does this and marries this and the watchdog does this and rich people are expected to be like this and a family is a nuclear...#...kind of family unit and that's honestly what caused madam red and ciel and ciel prime a lot of their problems pre fire #now instead the people in ciel's house care about their roles as maid and gardener and chef etc only insofar as playing that role is a...#...way to have freedom for them and it's a way to do things for ciel only bc they love him. not that vincent and rachel completely sucked...#...and didn't love their kids but it was the opposite of ciel's situation now and uh i don't think he wants it back or to recreate it #i think he sees his parents and the midfords as sheep just like of the rest of the rich people he complains about #it's a category 10 albert moriarty situation #he was raised in it so he understands just how destructive these expectations are madam red had the exact problems with the expectation...#...she should get married and have kids when i don't think she particularly wanted that to the point she had to convince herself she did...#...even though it felt unnatural to her and i think that's why she was so attached to the idea of vincent but anyway comphet madam red...#...different post i have already made somewhere probably #it's the same deal for ciel i think he thinks the way the rich people govern their lives is stupid and sebastian has both spoiled him and...#...made him feel like he's above all that and honestly that mindset genuinely informs a lot of this arc and the sheep motif #kuroshitsuji #my kuro posts #ciel

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mejomonster · 4 months ago

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I hate panic attacks

#rant #which is to say i hate the whirlwind of specifically bad times in my life that brought them on and kept them #i hate that they trigger when i feel strong Anything #ive been trying to Dissassociate less and feel more. because feeling stuff does HELP me notice whats helping or hurting me #but like. i WISH it was about feeling joy and pleasure and excitement. maybe ill feel those eventually #but right now Any strong emotion is still ridiculously close to triggering panic attacks #im still terrified to go watch a play. because i LOVE plays and the last times ive gone for the past decade #ive had awful panic attacks because my brain clicked Love them with Intense Feeling into Panic dont breathe chest hurts Hate Urself #turns out my brain didnt just attach the trigger to fear of loud noises or fear of asking for #trigger from self hating thiught loops #it alsp clicked the trigger into: particularly notiveable romantic feelings of any kind (lile someome? have a panic attack! thatll keep u #physically incapable of getting near them! like plays! lets have you unable to breathe sobbimg hysterical so ur terrified to be trapped in #the audiience for hours! fucking hate hate hate it)#neurofeedback and emdr certainly lowered the panic attack rate per day or week to a Lesser per month situation #but im still lucky if i get thru a pa without illogivally trying to Fix it the irrational way i did when young which is hit myself #in the illogical hope if im injured enough ill be able to think again (which doesnt work its dangerous and makes the panic attack last #longer a pa just does Not let u think rationally untol its over u CANNOT try and fix it while in it and dping that makes it much worse)#if i get thru a pa without a concussion ive done much better than usual :/ i dont want any more #im so tired man. i want to go see a play!#i dont want to Try and then end up hyperventilating and crying with my brain imsisting i Need To be Dead for 2 hours #im the parking lot because it triggers when i park. or worse it triggers when i drive and i have to pull over and im trapped x place for #hours. either way i miss the play i wanted to fucking see!#i hate how panic attacks feel like a trap. not even a trap i can fight. its my own limitation. goddamn ive been fatigued ive been dying #in a hospital a few times. panic attacks feel worse to me. at least dying i can do something (eventually) to stop #altho i guess dying for hours in hospital until i got helped was similar. but ill hopefully only go thru that 1-2 more times in life #and i had like 5 panic attacks during that hospital visit since a heart rate so high like 200 cant calm down anyway

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wakanai · 7 months ago

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#i feel so isolated #i can talk to people #but it's hard for me to find someone i can genuinely connect with #hard for me to converse in interesting conversation with people i find interesting #i was in a group setting a while ago #talking w “friends” (not close friends; but still 'friends')#it was ok #the thing is #i don't particularly like my friends #like im not that invested. it's hard for me to find people i connect with enough to be invested in and vice versa #it's most likely a 'me' thing #i think its because of a lack of communication skills that its hard for me to find connection/make friends that i rlly like and etc #ironically the friends i do like are always extroverts and i always feel like i care more about them than they do #because they have sm friends whom they're close to and genuinely connected with meanwhile i struggle with even making 1 connection that #doesn't drain me/makes me happy/keeps me stimulated #so when i do find that 1 person i become attached and want to be closer to them #and when that happens idk i remind myself that they dont care for me as much #and i try not to be too clingy so as not to annoy them #i want to be closer to them though. we have our own friend groups but still #school for me is overall quite lonely. my 2 close friends are in another school #there's only a few people in class that i enjoy talking to #the only one (the 'main' one) that's my friend is the extrovert i mentioned a while ago #and for some reason im getting flashbacks or trauma from my past friendship #because as of now we're just classroom friends #and in my past friendship. i was also invested in that homegirl. but..we drifted apart T-T #its quite sad #i feel lonely #i want to be better at bond making and connections because #its miserable #vent

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crescentfool · 1 year ago

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i think something that is important to me to remember is that there are small ways i can do things to spark joy for myself and others without waiting for someone else to do it... (conjures up little sparklies from my hands) life is so whimsical!!!

#lizzy speaks #for full transparency i cannot make sparklies emit from my hands unfortunately #but i can imagine that i can and i think thats cool i'm like a swaggy little magician #anyways sometimes i see announcements for games and im like #ok! cool! some people are very excited and happy. so awesome!! happy for them!!!#but personally i think i've found much more joy in doing my own thing #and it's ok if you're not particularly enthused about a new thingy because sometimes you still have other things you can do #or you have other things that feel much more gratifying to you. and thats ok!!!#this is a vague toward reload and splat3 (specifically splatfests)#it's become clear 2 me that reload is curating a different experience for pee 3 with the new mechanics they introduce #and i didn't realize how attached i was to how fes's mechanics (tiredness + fusion spells) can inform's one characterization of kitaro #until i kept seeing the new things for reload. still interested in reload's alternate interpretations but wont be following the news closel #and for splatfest. turf is not my favorite mode in splat by a long shot' but at least i can salmon with friends! or play another game #i think it's always important for me to remember that not everything will be for me and that's a good thing #when i see things that dont excite me as much. it reminds me about what i care about the most and to remember to hold those things close #i can make my own fun with my own little creations i don't need to wait for games to host events for me i can just draw silly little guys #or i can choose to make silly little clownery happen on my own terms and i think thats neat #even if i'm not hyped about something that others are hyped about that's okay because i'm nourishing myself and that's really fucking cool #and hey maybe i will find the joy in those things eventually. or not! and thats ok. who knows!! anything can happen!!#anyway if you read all of this thank you :3 and i hope that you will always be able to find your way to find something that excites you

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13eyond13 · 8 months ago

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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious #that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much #i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like #such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him #frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again #dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest #the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary #and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit #i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline #which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all #but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored #i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already #so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight #into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them #also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw #but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just #let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too #often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time #i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me #maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a #'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe #it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun #p

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shepherdden8 · 8 months ago

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Quick palate swap Shiro

#idk if anyones tried this b4 #i kinda love them both #but ofc the originals are the best. and so perfectly Her #maybe i should have switched the colors of the neck braces after all... :/#ive always wondered why her bodysuits were designed like they were #i always thought she designed them as a form of artistic expression - like she was forced to wear body suits for the experiments so #eventually she started making them her own and realized she liked doing it #TW for the following tags slight disc of her torture #the targets/dots/ripples in the 1st make me think of both the torture like injection & drill sites as well as her objectification by ha****#but maybe it could be the focusing of blood too #2nd bodysuit (esp in red & white) makes me think of her torture as focused on her limbs being detached from her body ie what it felt like #on that note it feels pretty obvious what the neck braces represent particularly when the latter one has a chain attached to it #the fact that sorae gave her a neck warmer.....#i might have to break all this down in another speculative analysis post bc now im thinking abt aceman's mask & her identity & the CAPE :'(#but anyway its a headcanon of mine that post canon she designs and makes her own clothes #shiro deadman wonderland #deadman wonderland #dmwl

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flythesail · 1 year ago

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I can't believe shows can just be completely erased. It's so so wrong.

#i didnt even know the mysterious benedict society was cancelled #then i find out it's being removed from disney+ too!?#all because disney doesnt want to pay the people who put all the effort into creating it #how greedy can you possibly be because these companies pull in SO much money #paying writers and every other creator attached to a project adequately wouldnt even make a dent in their overall profits #and it particularly sucks because even when shows end.. hey you can rewatch them over and over right?#nope because now they can be thrown into the void too #as if cancellation doesnt hurt enough we're going to pretend it never existed too!!!!#and the cast was SO young and talented in this case!#cast crew creators etc.. moving forward what does that look like on a resume #to have something you put all this time into #and now it's gone so you dont even get any credit #i am so tired of the way tv is working now #and this is one of MANY shows being completely removed #personally didnt like willow but so many people care a lot about it #and it JUST came out #so wild that disney can just erase it like that #im starting to get a horrible feeling about s3 of sab/a soc spinoff too #how horrible would it be to never get a greenlight when the whole season is already written #the writers never get credit for writing it either #flythepost

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notsogeniusgirls · 2 years ago

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Just gonna vent in the tags don't mind me

#its so fun realising your family dynamic illustrates perfectly why you hate being attached to real ppl #like my sister has gone no contact with my parents and lives far away from me but bc she still wants a relationship with me my parents are #desperate for me to stay in contact wktn #her so they wont lose all links to her in the hopes theyll reconnect eventually which she is technically open to #but its hard watching my parents be so hurt by her actions and knowing we have never been particularly close and thet my mom is the sole #reason we ever spent time together one on one so to feel all this pressure to maintain my relationship with her when im going through #my own shit and feeling so much anger at all the ways she let me down and how she's hurting our parents #its so hard bc its making me realize how much i put everyone else in front of me tl the point that i start resenting other ppl #for asking me to enjoy spending time with them or letting them stay with me bc it feels like im getting nothing in return #and thats why i dont like having family and struggle with friendships bc i start resenting ppl just bc i feel obligated to do all of this #shit for ppl without getting much in return. like i dont FEEL closer or better for having done so and i know it makes me sound selfish #but damnit im done living my life for other ppl. i wanna live it for myself or be gone

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babybarbies · 5 months ago

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feels like my parents don't love me anymore

#fuck that was heartbreaking to write down #idk i just have the sneaking feeling that after that fight about my cousin they just will never see me the same and will always find me #idk leechful #i kind of feel like thats how im viewed in most cases anyway #i just feel like a bad immigrant. a bad daughter. a bad participant of society #like idk i have my daddies but. its particularly heartbreaking to lose the parents you were born to and attached to #especially bc idk . i feel like i was so close to them as mimi. im their daughter #and. now im not because i chose my son over them #the only one left from my family that i can love not at an arms length is just my son. thats it. and even then i dont like bothering him #hes busy and successful and fun and deserves so much more than i ever got

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phagodyke · 6 months ago

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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee

#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me #write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw #i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it #and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc #and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it #i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt #but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen #and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it #but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow #like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much #and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am #maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts #and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp #and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee #wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet #anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop 😚#.diaries #literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss 🙄

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the-mononoke-facade · 5 months ago

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I got two shit-posty answers and then one slightly overthought one lol

-By Zen Buddhist standards we're all one with the universe and divisions like separate people are artificial so if you're really think about it, isn't every ship boiled down to shipping the same person together?

-The show's not made all that conducive for shipping so you gotta make do with what's available if you want to play dollies with the weird fox guy (or make an OC if you prefer, whatever floats your boat)

And then

-Whether or not they're the same person is really up to interpretation and it's always a fun question to ask to see what people come up with because it's probably something we're never going to get a clear answer on. Getting an answer to that question will very likely rely on also answering the question of "what IS the medicine vendor exactly", and...yeah, I'll be shocked if they so much as give us his name (if he even has one), let alone enough backstory to be able to figure that out definitively

Regardless of whether or not they are one and the same, or mirrored versions of each other, or two separate entities, or started out as two separate entities but the divide between them isn't so clear anymore, or any other possible variation for their whole deal, there is a neat symbolic aspect to the "Schrodinger's Self-cest" that is Kusu/Hyper, this idea of knowing and accepting oneself completely and finding power in that, taking in even the darker, more unpleasant parts of your being along with the more generally acceptable parts and being able to bring it all to balance

There’s people out here shipping Kusuriuri with his golden alter ego? Aren’t they like the same person or something?

#but it does largely come down to 'there arent very many good canon/canon ship options in the first place' lol #im not particularly attached to any of them but it is fun to see what folks come up with #for my part i think i have more of 'they started out as different entities but got entangled together to where the separation isn't so clea #anymore' side of things

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