#As life and energy allows
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do we have any updates on the progression of "do you have any thoughts about beckman" now that it's been a bit since last time
(<- trying to inflict u with terminal beck disease)
ngl my dear buddy the brainrot has not increased since last time due to painful terminal Mishanks brainrot, HOWEVER. It has not decreased. Steady state of beck brainrot achieved So I invite u to hit me with ur best shot, guns blazing shotgun at the ready to use as a club, infect away
#My asks#(No actual pressure)#But consider my DMs n askbox open to Beckman rambling/appreciation/etc#As life and energy allows#Also I am still writing that bennshanks honey pot fic#it’s just that my Mishank’s wips exploded on me#So attention who’s she#Or just general “hey coco what’s ur thots on this” my DMs are open to that always#For any character ngl#Except teach don’t ask me about teach
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When in doubt, Soup it out.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan.#wei wuxian#Yes I am skipping over LWJ's panic at WWX joking about giving birth to A-Yuan. It's funny bit but there are many more to come!#The last time these two sat down together the tensions were so high. The peace is nothing more than a layer of cold fat on the surface.#It's not 'really' them coming to see eye to eye. It's them not having the energy to say what they really want anymore.#LWJ is very defined by his jealousy and the conflict it creates with his need to put his feelings aside for the perceived greater good.#To live a life where you are always second and never ever allowing yourself to be first...#If other people can be at peace and happy - it has to be worth it right?#If he orders a plate of food that he will struggle to eat but is the favourite thing of the person sitting across from him#Is it not worth the sacrifice?#But remember! You can't take anything for yourself ever. No matter how much you want it.#He did it once before and he regrets it so much. So all he can do is accommodate.#And WWX? Well. You can't let anyone in if there isn't enough water to splash around in.#Keep things shallow and they just move on. Even if you'll miss them when they go - this is just how things are now.#No more teasing and trying to pull a reaction from LWJ anymore. You'll never be more than someone he can't stand so what's the point.
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space sweepers but they're delivery people and are at no point on screen through the entire movie
#fantasy high#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#gorgug thistlespring#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#figueroth faeth#the bad kids#half tempted to say these names are forum handles they use so much it pretty much became their professional names lol#I keep them teenagers bc its funnier that way#no real lore I just like drawing this. but I do think abt how theyre all weirdos too also bc thats funny to me#riz is a huge conspiracyhead who does everything by hands. he has a casio fx-570 in mint condition. nobody knows how he's maintaining it#he is nonetheless Really Good at his job. which somewhat tracks bc it's a job that requires keeping up with interstation conflicts#and new policies and an obsessive amount of planning. but he is Too Good at it. and also he dresses like that#kristen has the atomic engine that theoretically lets her unmake and remake matters with her mind. but it consumes a huge amount#of energy so it's mostly useless. she's still a cult survivor also#gorgug lives his entire life on a ship with his parents who quit a cushy deal maintaining a space station bc he wouldn't be allowed on#the low gravity let him grow very tall but also his oxygen saturation is pretty bad so he's got breathing support#fig is a robot who just found out she's a robot like two months ago. she's been assuming everyone's a robot like her and she's been feeling#very betrayed by her mom lying about that part. she's on a body mod spree which is rough bc system-specific parts are expensive#and so is adapting random parts to her system#fabian's still a pirate captain's son. can't say anything that'd be able to get the vibes across clearer than that#adaine went to tech/business school. she put her monthly allowance towards an ecoterrorist group in her academy which turned out to be an o#and she's currently wanted by UTS. more than fabian. which makes him slightly mad#she's also acquired a passion for low-tech weaponry on the way. she likes ice picks and cleavers#I think up all of this for no reason except that once again the idea of all these people being 1/teens and 2/on the same ship to be posties#is hilarious to me. esp. if they were in a forum group chat beforehand
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This election isn't looking great now.
BUT.
There is one thing you must ALWAYS. ALWAYS REMEMBER.
Your two greatest, most powerful weapons against evil, against bigotry and fascism, against hate, against even hate that comes from inside the self...
are Hope, and Spite.
If nothing else can fuel you, let these. Embrace these. Let these consume you, let them become all that you are.
Let Hope help you find light in the little details, silver linings to cling onto with bleeding hands and pockets of joy to admire in every day. Let it inject you with good faith, motivation to spread kindness where it is needed most, and deepening trust that this won't last forever.
Let Spite charge you with fury that carries you to make moves and take actions. Let it lead you to little victories right in the face of evil. Let it fuel you to do the strongest, most meaningful thing you can possibly do in this potential age: Thrive.
With enough reframing of perspectives and looking in the right places, even the most oppressed can find little ways to thrive in their personal communities, to find joy in every day. To forget how bad things are for even a second. To believe and see proof that they can change it all. To cling onto their Hope and Spite.
And THAT is the most powerful message you can send to those who wish to eradicate you.
We are the cockroaches who survive the radiation. We are the banged-up sewer rats who get in countless scuffles and still come crawling out of the tunnels covered in wounds to see the sunrise. For it rises every day no matter what may be brewing underneath its shine.
And we will watch every sunrise together. We will hold hands and sing in our defiance. We will always remain connected through our shared suffering and yet especially our shared Strength.
And with our weapons kept at our sides, we will all make it.
#us elections#us election 2024#kamala harris#hopecore#mental health#hey if you read these tags please drink water and check if you have to pee right now#for the record. I am a queer AFAB who is likely mentally disabled in some capacity (AuDHD?)#And my actual Real Life with jobs and money management is about to come for me#So yes. I'm scared. Terrified. We all are#But the funny thing about fear is that it can only be as strong as you allow it to be#I'm um. Out of inspirational energy I was just doomscrolling for the past 3 hours so idk how to finish that#Just Cling Onto Your Weapons. We will all get through this and I love you.
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Feminine Tip:
Accept Help
- Women nowadays are taught to be independent, strong & never look to others for help. But this is the opposite of femininity
- The feminine woman receives help & assistance.
- The feminine woman is okay with getting help from others instead of trying to be strong and prove that she can do it all herself
- She knows she's not weak just for receiving help.
- We are only one person. We can try to do it all but usually end up tired and struggling.
- If you need help, ask.
#feminine tips#feminine#being feminine#divine feminine#femininity#feminine energy#help#assisstance#receiving#allowing#receive#soft woman#soft girl#soft life#softlife#soft black women#soft aesthetic#black femininity#women#black women#feminine journey#jasmine tooks
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this screen, this companion combination, with davrin having this shield equipped, cracks me up so hard every time I see it. davrin really is stepping up and keeping hard eye contact with rye like 'hey. hey loverboy. we need your attention elsewhere right now. eyes off the insufferable killer for hire abomination for five minutes please we're on the clock chop chop'
#I think towards the end of the game we could get to a place where davrin notices rye looking slightly pained and is like 'hey#everything alright man? you good?' and rye leaning his forehead against davrin's strong safe steady shoulder#to thinly admit 'he's so handsome I feel a little dizzy sometimes when I look at him'#(the mortifying ordeal of allowing yourself to be known. as the embarrassing simp that you are. rye has come so far I am so proud of him)#and davrin is like 'sincerely I have never been more sorry in my life to have asked' but also pats rye's back soothingly#because rye is like a very annoying brother to him and davrin SUPPOSES he can't help having abysmal taste in men#the delight that is my favourite boys squad. the disaster energy off the charts and only making each other worse#I always have lucanis on the right side of the screen when I get to choose companion order. and some of davrin's shields are very large#so this keeps happening and it's one of the best probably unintended things that makes my day brighter#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#davrin#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis
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the absolute disgust that Yaz (from Sheffield) and Dan (from Liverpool) feel about unexpectedly finding themselves in Manchester is filling me with such joy like their Faces
#dw shit#at least their mutual disdain for manchester allowed them to be briefly united in geographical disgust Despite their own rivalry#u just don't get this kind of accurate portrayal of every day life if everything's in london#londoners arguing over which part is shittier does not have the same energy
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#gif#why do I have to spend every christmas and every birthday alone#for what am I being punished#I am a good person#and I don’t think this suffering has any sense#it’s just that in life the happy people have good things coming their way#and the sad people always just get more trauma#I know I could have a relationship if I didn’t have such a traumatic childhood#my trauma lets me reject the good guys and waste my time with the aholes#but i don’t know what to do about it#every nice guy I met absolutely wasn’t attractive to me#and we also didn’t have anything in common#so I’m not even regretting rejecting them cause it wouldn’t have worked out#and they deserve someone who actually fancies them#i just wonder why I never met a nice guy that I have common interests with#or who matched my preferences lookwise#it really feels like I’m simply not allowed to ever meet the right person#and gotten to the point where I swipe for hours have a lot of matches and then ghost everyone#as I just know it either will be someone nice but not attractive to me or an ahole#I just don’t have any energy left anymore#I just want to experience love so bad but can’t do these dates anymore#I’m so so tired
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RIP to Elphaba and her water allergy I know she would've loved to walk barefoot around a creek
#she *woudlve*#just look at her#her weird gremlin energy woudlve been fixed if she had been allowed to go to a stream and walk around in circles in the shallow waters#that is all#wicked#wicked the musical#wicked the life and times of the wicked witch of the west#elphaba thropp
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// oc deep dive.
tagged by; @aztarion and @devilbrakers, thank you so much!!
tagging; @mojaves, @deadrlngers, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @adelaidedrubman and YOU!
What common/uncommon fear do they have?
Nathan has a lot of fears stemming from his paranoia. Tangible ones such as getting captured or killed by MOBIUS, his friends walking away from him, or someone following him home; as well as more unrealistic ones, such as somehow ending up back in STEM, or getting stuck in a time loop, or a giant sinkhole all the way to the core of the earth opening up right at his feet.
It also happens often enough that certain actions don’t necessarily scare him, but make him uncomfortable or highly on edge (often with good reason); think of someone locking the door of the room he’s in– especially when it’s just them two– or getting too close without warning. He often fears people he gets too close to will end up treating him like the Administrator did, which is why it takes a while for him to let Sebastian get any closer physically, despite warming up to him relatively fast.
A more uncommon fear he has is waking up one morning and having lost one of his senses or his ability to speak. Aside from the mental erosion that had become a growing issue among Union citizens, MOBIUS observed a similar kind of process in its agents who regularly jumped in and out of STEM for general maintenance and the like– presumably caused by the constant changes in brain activity, which more than often led to exactly what Nathan’s fear mentioned above describes. While he was among the agents who worked both in and outside of STEM on the Union environment, he was lucky enough to never suffer the consequences.
Lastly, he is deadly afraid of Anima. Despite not having shown any other symptom of succumbing to the STEM domination process, Nathan would have started seeing her around sometime before Lily vanished– presumably got her attention after some of his escapades in the secret labs in the Marrow– and he has not been able to sleep soundly in STEM ever since. While his fear of her mostly acts up when he’s in a STEM environment, it definitely translates over to the real world as well; during bad mental health episodes he has auditory hallucinations of her, and she makes regular appearances in his nightmares too.
Do they have any pet peeves?
When people are too passive. Nathan can’t stand it when he’s expected to initiate everything, from conversations to taking action, both in a work context (scheduling meetings, deploying new code) as well as personal context (scheduling to hang out, doing household chores). He also doesn’t like having to constantly ask people to do what they’re supposed to do– though this irritation more than often extends a little too far, to things he is expecting of people but never told them about.
Loud and unexpected noises, especially when done on purpose. Fireworks would be a great example of this, and they piss Nathan off no end. He gets snippy when people raise their voice at him for no reason, or when they keep banging their fist on a surface to get others’ attention.
Getting cut off in traffic. Nathan’s road rage is easily awakened and he can get a little drastic with it. His reflexes are fast enough to brake on time to avoid ending up in someone’s trunk, but will in that same breath speed right back up to crash into them on purpose as revenge for pissing him off.
What are three items you can find in their bedroom?
A large ring binder full of old code snippets, notes from various projects he worked on back at MOBIUS, and all his research ranging from neuroscience all the way to electrical engineering. Nathan is a little old-school in that regard– he’d much rather have all his research physically with him than save it all to some online storage platform and risk losing it like that.
A jigsaw puzzle, made entirely out of different pieces that he’s collected over the years (stolen from others’ puzzles, found in various locations, stolen directly from the store, etc). The full piece would total up to nearly 2000 pieces, though it is still missing a large chunk in the center; the result is an abstract piece containing mostly darker colors, though with various bursts of color scattered around like flowers in a field. Nathan isn’t the artistic type, but the project keeps him busy and he considers it a type of self-expression.
The knife he killed his parents with when he was sixteen years old. He’s not entirely sure why he kept it all those years– perhaps to remind himself what got him to where he is now, or because it’s the only thing he still has from that time of his life. Either way, it’s kept safe in the top drawer of his nightstand, easy enough to reach in case someone breaks into his apartment.
What do they notice first in a person?
First: State of mind, overall mood. How approachable do they look; can he afford to lower his guard or does he need to tread with caution, can he get close without worrying about a knife to the stomach or should he keep his distance? Nathan rarely shows immediate interest in someone’s overall personality, he would rather want to know which of their emotions he’s gonna have to deal with during their interaction(s).
Second: Body language. Ties in with the first thing mentioned– cautiously watching for threats, waiting to see if they make a move to touch (or harm) him so he can step out of their range. But it also extends a little further; Nathan tends to mimic others’ body language in conversation to make himself appear more approachable. If someone gestures a lot, he will do the same.
Third: Their smile, if relevant. Smiling is an eye-catching action to him, since he’s not one to quickly do so himself. It’s attractive to him; if someone smiles at him, you’ll be able to catch him staring.
Fourth: Scars, and other (skin) details. Nathan isn’t one to ask about them, of course– but they’ll catch his attention anyway, for a brief moment, since some of them already tell a story on their own even without words.
Fifth: Nervous tics, if relevant. By this point he’s been in conversation long enough to pick up on the little details– a slight thrill or shakiness to their voice, a thumb running over the side of their index finger, a nose twitch. In some cases it eases his mind, knowing the other person isn’t confident in their conversation either; in other cases it sets off alarms in his mind, and makes him wonder if there’s more going on than what they’re showing or telling him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?
Physically: 7. While he doesn’t quite look like it, Nathan can take a hit or two. Most of his injuries happen in STEM– though with the way the technology works, the pain is very much real, and in some cases the scars are lasting even in the real world despite the damage having been sustained in STEM. To an extent, Nathan even enjoys the pain; it’s grounding for him, and keeps him from dissociating. When it gets too much to handle he simply drinks it away.
Mentally: 10. Nathan’s life has been a constant downward spiral; sent to a youth detention center after being wrongfully accused of killing his younger sister, and he was bullied relentlessly there, which continued until long after his release both at school and at home. At MOBIUS, he was required to work shifts in their HQ as well as in the Marrow, in the Union STEM environment– he was required to be mentally strong, or he would have already started suffering from mental erosion by long-term STEM exposure after his first few trips in. It takes a lot to break him (or so he likes to believe).
Emotionally: 4. Once you get past all the barriers, Nathan is pretty sensitive. He doesn’t deal well with rejection or misunderstanding, and is prone to assuming things are all his fault the second something goes wrong. It’s easy to upset him, though he won’t easily show; but the damage often takes a while to repair.
Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (Or freeze or fawn?)
Fight, more than often; though it may appear as flight at first, since Nathan’s favored combat approach is stealth and he will always find cover before doing anything rash. In certain cases, however, he would be more likely to freeze; especially anything related to Anima or an enemy type like her, where fighting is out of the question, and he knows that a single wrong move can mean his demise.
It translates to non-combat situations too– often willing to talk to people but his initial response is to get defensive and close himself off, and if not given a moment to regain himself it can lead to either fighting or freezing; biting back with similar ferocity or shutting down altogether, unable to pick up his rational train of thought in the heat of the moment.
It really depends on the type of confrontation, though; taking his own state of mind and who else is involved into consideration. He’s known to fawn when a situation starts feeling a little too familiar– generally surrounding the abuse he suffered from partially his parents, but mostly the Administrator.
What animal represents them best?
Wolf; bordering on dog motif, but cautiously so, requiring infinite patience and understanding to win his trust. Nathan is loyal and guarding to those he cares about, but he values his freedom– his choices and decisions are his and his alone, and anyone who tries to take that away from him will suffer the necessary consequences.
How would a stranger likely describe them?
Curious, above anything else. Distant, reserved; surprisingly well-spoken, almost technical in his interactions with others as if the whole conversation is pre-programmed in his mind. Nathan isn’t necessarily cold towards others, but people would also not be quick to describe him as kind; though there is a certain warmth to the way he speaks and looks at people, despite the fact he very rarely smiles and isn’t one to quickly compliment someone else.
Appearance-wise, people tend to notice the white strands in his black hair first. They’re clustered at the front of his head, and match with the white hairs in his left eyebrow and the white eyelashes in the outer corner of his left eye. Nathan has very pale and rough skin, patchy but dark facial hair covering up most of his acne (/scarring); and part of the skin around his left eyebrow is lacking pigment, though it’s a little hard to see. He has very pale and bright blue eyes, which can be a little unnerving when staring at them for too long. Many people cannot maintain eye contact with him for very long.
Do they have any hobbies?
Nathan’s career is directly intertwined with his hobbies, and he enjoys working on code even long after cutting ties with MOBIUS. Software development, application optimization– his laptop runs on an operating system that he coded entirely himself, and whenever he has some time to spare he can be found tweaking and optimizing it and adding new features.
To no one’s surprise, he’s a gamer. Shooters, roguelikes, survival horror– he does not play all too often as his schedule often doesn’t allow for it, but he generally doesn’t have a hard time playing on higher difficulties and enjoys the challenge. Nathan has tried his hand at game design and development too, but stopped quickly when he found it too similar to developing the Union environment in STEM.
And last, surprisingly, would be writing. Journaling, some sort of attempt at poetry, or articles he would want to send in to some website or appropriate magazine but never does– a lot of Nathan’s writing is for his eyes alone, but it helps as an outlet, it keeps him grounded. For a while after leaving MOBIUS, he worked on writing tech manuals for various employers to earn some extra cash, which also ties directly into his interests.
#tag games#ask:nathan#using his full name in the banner to fill up all the empty space but it feels so funny like no one calls him that. no one calls him that#idk who's already done this i'm very out of the loop but hi =] until tumblr fixes itself my brain will only let me tag 5 people#in stuff like this so if you see this and i haven't tagged you. you are tagged now. i am tagging you in my mind palace#anyway hi =] i love nathan he is a little bit of a freak a little bit of a weirdo but that's part of his charm#possibly autistic but he's got a job so he doesn't really care about that right now#to me nathan is the same sort of oc flavor as vitali is but it's hard to explain. they both carry this energy around that makes them#fit very well in one specific environment if that makes sense?? vitali being a corpo boy nathan being lead STEM developer#and to then see them outside of that environment kind of makes them feel out of place in a very similar way as#how they themselves feel a little alienated from the rest of the world#taught to do what they do and when expected to function outside of that reality and mingle with the crowds#they don't really know what to do with themselves etc etc. does that make sense. i hope it does#either way. for nathan it really shows in how he struggles connecting with his friends and why he ends up#latching on to ruben so much once he allows him to move in with him. there's SO many parallels between them#and ruben is also a guy who grew up dedicating his life to one thing only and now he doesn't know what else there is for him#that's why they work so well together... both struggling to find purpose and connection. you know what i mean#ok i've said enough now but just know i could easily write an essay or two about this guy
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Feel free to not answer this if its too invasive but what do you do for work? how do you manage your time to still create such awesome things while working? sorry if this comes off as weird I just want to find a way to work while still having time for my art
hoo boi ok i went into the job field hellbent on getting a more heavy duty job like welding and just do art as i please and preserve my passion for it so i dont get burnt out from an art job, but bröther ive realized the hard way my body just don't have the energy to balance working my ever sweatin ass off all day and Also have the energy to draw. I used to have a factory job building coolers but the management went to pure shit, all my good coworkers got fired or quit, and i was beginning to not trust myself holding a framing gun sOOO as of rn i '''technically''' don't have a job, my patreons payin the bills (and then some praise the lorTTTT) rn plus i got that mural gig that came at the most perfect time but im currently perfecting my craft at tattooing so i can get into that field eventually 🤙 i worked my ass off and drew my ass off for a while but my lack of energy made me crash and burn so i may not be the person to give advice on that AHHAAaa
#like im currently on a tightrope having the time of my life but im just free rangin it#i was determined not to get burnt out on drawing all day from an art job but i realized i literally just want to draw all day#and the fact that i was using all of my energy working at some souless meaningless job and then i barely had the energy to draw#shit got real fucked up in the cranium thats all imma say#it almost feels illegal not having anywhere to go i deadass feel like some authority figure is gunna bust down my door 😭 i lOVE IT#like the amount of lucky circumstances that allowed me to save my own ass from myself is sooo :''')#im so glad i started up that patreon when i did cause boy is it coverin for me#i remember 2 days b4 i quit my team leader was bitching me out again In Front of Everyone makin me feel like a useless dumbass as always an#i thought to myself clear as day im either quitting or killing myself so i plotted out my financial situation and stopped showin up!!!#working at a shitty job that deteriorates your health and will replace you in a second when you die for most of your life man just kill me#all i wanna do with my life is draw n inspire other ppl w my creations bro thats iT#suicide mention
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Chasing That Feeling: Inkigayo 231015
#i just really like this choreo#beomgyu#choi beomgyu#txt#tomorrow x together#His Angus Young Outfit lol#that's a compliment#this is his best era imo#he is performing for his life and i think the energy matches the song and concept#they actually exceeded my expectations for this era#but i think that's bc i was also so disappointed with the last album#I'm not one to say anything positive about any company like HYBE#but i'm glad they have enough money to afford bad albums and misteps and learning /growing as artists#i think that's whats missing a lot these days#allowing musicians to grow and develop and find their sound#i'm calling it now: BG is the Producer talent of txt and he has the best ear for songs that suit them#it's one thing I think he does better than any other member
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also, i finished frannie’s book the other day and wouldn’t you know but twice over she thinks about how her love for michael is different than her love for john but the fact that it’s different doesn’t mean she loved john less.
#like in the show john matches her energy and allows her quietude to truly find herself#and michaela challenges frannie to leave her comfort zone and experience new things in life#to take risks and take chances even if you’re scared#bridgerton#when he was wicked
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oh sorry, did i not lick your boots enough when i wrote that image description for you? my bad
people's accessibility discord, for your ID needs
#chirping#yes i have a toxic relationship w ids. no i'm not changing#i don't really. i'm more just so petty against the people who ignore them#but this is how it feels sometimes genuinely#i gotta write a paragraph in the tags wow this is so perfect ur a god amongst men now please do a lowly thing like me a favor and#hit two buttons on your phone slash computer.... i know it's so much effort so i included some handy instructions for how to hit two fucking#buttons on your phone slash computer#it's just so fucking annoying#like look i did this thing for you at no benefit and at every cost to myself that by all accounts You were supposed to do. but yeah if you#want to ignore me then please be my fucking guest. and i'm not allowed to get mad about that at all?!#''i don't have the energy'' ME NEITHER. BUT GUESS WHAT I'M FUCKING DOING#i've given the people's accessibility discord link so many times#actually let's add that to this post hold on#done. whatever#i'll add it to my pinned as well#i've also said this a million times but if you describe ur own art Tag Me In It!!!#i want to see it! i wanna reblog it!!!!!#god whatever. i have errands to run. contrary to popular belief i have a life outside of profusely giving and giving to a thankless job
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When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.
Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.
TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.
If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.
If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.
If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.
If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.
If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.
If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.
If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.
If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.
If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.
If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.
If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.
If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.
If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.
I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.
If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.
If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.
If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.
These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.
And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.
If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.
#lord knows that im still trying to pull myself out of the muck and into independence and dignity#i had to set a rule for myself that i need to wear clean clothes every day. and that i need to wear pyjamas to bed#that one's been hard. sometimes I dont have the energy to do it and i just stay in the same clothes for two days at a time#or i go to sleep in what i was wearing. but when i do follow that rule my quality of life is drastically better#not feeling dirty or gross goes a long way to making you feel more like a person#i also made a rule that im not allowing myself to look frumpy outside anymore. that means clothes that look nice#no more trackies and pj pants and all that stuff. i basically lived in perpetual pyjamas for four years and im over it#i still dress comfortably but the important thing is that i dress. i look put together. i wear things that make me happy#(and i didnt need to buy anything to do so. i just needed to start taking better care of myself)#and i stopped letting perfect be the enemy of the good. i started doing things shitty rather than not doing it at all#and the more i keep pushing with my ADLs the better i feel#what helps is now i dont have to contend with stairs and that has made a dramatic change to what im able to accomplish#ive also finally built up enough strength in my body that im able to go to the shops by myself. so i can buy things to make easy meals#and mum doesnt mind if i just put some things in the oven or air fryer for us for dinner.#i still cant really cook. i felt bad about that for the longest time. i didnt even try bc i knew what id make would be disappointing#or it wouldnt be up to the standards of what everyone else was making. i was so sick of feeling like a let down all the time.#now i just make what i can and my mum doesnt complain bc shes in the same boat.#and yeah. having help would be nice. it would mean id be able to do more than what i can do by myself.#and its great to see how far ive come. but im not a burden. and when i have the accommodations i need i can do a lot more#i do something rather than nothing and my life has dramatically changed since then. ive just gotten better and better.#chronic illness#disability#chronic pain#spoonie#one things for certain and thats that im never going to let myself rely on anyone else ever again.#i never want to be on the other side of that ever again. I don't want to be anyone's burden. i dont want that hanging over me#i do things by myself or i dont do them at all. and god fucking willing i'll never go back to needing as much help as i used to#i really didnt realise just how much of an obstacle living with stairs was in my life. it was the biggest barrier against everything#stairs stopped me from being independent. if i couldnt traverse them i just didnt go anywhere. my world shrank so much#and not having the proper wheelchair shrinks my world even more. im stronger than i used to be but im still severely limited in where i go
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god i fucking hate my dad
#he came home today from a bike trip he went on and he's been arguing with me about honeybee the whole fucking day#he keeps saying just let her out let her run around! every time i put her in her pen to nap#and he refuses to stop her from biting him#and he got mad at her for playing with his socks when she'd just been playing with mine and he threw them on the floor of the living room#which first of all stop being such a fucking slob#and second of all what the fuck did you expect to happen? it's a soft new toy on the floor where she spends most of her time. where all her#toys are. very similar to the two soft items she's allowed to play with (my socks)#she's fucking 3 months old she doesn't understand the difference between my socks and his socks#and i keep telling him i know what im doing i was doing all the research while he went to buttfuck nowhere on his midlife crisis motorcycle#but he just wont fucking listen to me#and hes like oh youre at that age where you think youre right about everything and are so stubborn like fuck you actually#first of all im stubborn about this because its a living breathing puppy and his actions will affect her behaviour as an adult#and bc i know what im fucking doing. ive been an animal person my entire life. i did all the research. i did this exact same thing with#parrots for five years.#and hes like you cant just put her in her pen every time shes being a dog like no i fucking dont. i only put her in her pen when it's time#for a nap and she's getting overtired. you can't just let her run around until she collapses bc for one she never fucking will#second that's only going to make her energy threshold higher and then she'll be absolutely impossible to handle#and i told him that and that i read that on like every professional dog training source i read#and he said that might be true or might not be#like it fucking is bitch omfg#and then he tried to one up me like um i actually raised you guys for a long time i know what im doing#like a child is not a fucking dog. also my mom raised us lets be fucking serious. and look how well adjusted i turned out#and he told me to relax and calm down like i wasnt even arguing with him but i sure as hell will now#like dont tell me to fucking relax. when has telling anyone to relax ever made anything better. especially a teenager. especially a (for#simplicity's sake) woman.#and i told him dont tell me to relax and he got all pissy and stormed off#like literally fuck you#im my fathers daughter. im just as stubborn as he is.#rambles
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