#As I heard there were like 125 people sitting there

[inexpressiblybeatiful]

When I went to the cinema this Thursday(20th of July) there were two dudes all by themselves with no girlfriends, dressed in black and in my age range. What I liked the most is that one of them was like "It's time for pink." And honestly,that's the vibe.

[gxldenlush]

spiritually yours || m.s

pairing:highschool!matt x ghost!fem!oc

summary:Matt is in love with a ghost.

warnings: mentions of death, very very sad (i cried hard), blood & injuries (stab wound), lmk if I missed anything

a/n: thought of this at 2am & cried writing it

word count: 4.9k

☙༻✽༺❧

Matt has a secret. He sees ghosts. Well, one ghost, specifically. He’s grown completely infatuated with her, if you can believe it.

Adelaide died a very long time ago. 1899 to be precise. She has been trapped in this house since her death, she has no idea why. She found out that Matt could see her when the boy was only eleven years old. Now, the eighteen year old is utterly obsessed with the 125 year old spirit.

Adelaide first started speaking to Matt through dreams and thoughts, on his eleventh birthday, when he was about to fall asleep, he heard “Happy birthday, sweet child”, he opened his eyes and there she was. In a gorgeous Victorian style dress, a light blue that made her eyes stand out beautifully. He wasn’t even scared, he felt oddly calm by this new presence. She gave him this sense of comfort that he’d never felt before.

It didn’t take long for Matt to fully understand that Adelaide was a ghost. Although she hates that word, she doesn’t know what to be called, but she knows that “ghost” isn’t on the list.

Which brings us to today. Matt is sat up in bed, way past the usual time he goes to bed, his nose buried inside a book he found in the attic a few days ago when Adelaide enters the room.

“Hey, you’re earlier than usual” He smiles as he closes the book and puts it in his lap.

“I was tired of waiting” The girl shrugs as she sits on the edge of his bed. “What are you reading?”

“Oh, I found it up in the attic when we were having that clear out..”

“May I?” she holds her hand out for him to pass her the book. she opens the cover and reads the writing. her face softens. “This was mine…”

“It was? how did-“

“That’s my handwriting in here, my name, all of it… I remember this book, I read it religiously”

Matt changes the subject slightly. “Can I ask you a question?.”

“Of course” she places the book down next to her on the bed gently.

“How old were you when you… died?”

“I was nineteen”

His eyebrows raised, he wasn't expecting her to be that young.

"So young," he mumbled to himself. after a moment of silence, she changed the subject.

“Don’t you have a paper for your history class due to be finished soon?”

Matt looks over at the open notebook and laptop sitting on his desk waiting for him to start his assignment. “Yeah.. right. I forgot”

“How about I help you… I’ve seen plenty of history. What is it about?”

Matt sighs as he drags himself off his bed and towards his desk, he sits down in front of it and switches his laptop on.

“I have to write about a previous owner of my house… Everyone is going to have war stories but nobody lived in this house before us since like 1930… I’ve contacted people but they haven’t replied…”

Adelaide sits down on the edge of the desk. “Isn’t there anybody else that you could speak to?” That question sparks an idea.

“Hey, what about you? I mean you said that your family was the first people to own this place… could I write about you?”

“Me? What would you even write about me?”

Matt looks nervous to ask his next question.

“Could I… talk about… how you died maybe?”

“You want to know how I died?”

“Please..? If you don’t want it in my assignment that’s totally understandable but… I do want to know.”

“I’m afraid to tell you…” The spirit speaks with a large amount of uncertainty in her voice.

“Why?”

Adelaide sighs deep, seemingly troubled by the thought of telling Matt of her death.

“I believe that you can still see it… once you learn of a spirits story, of their death, you see the cause. Almost like an illusion… Do you understand that?”

He immediately tensed up, his stomach twisting into painful knots. He didn’t want to see whatever horrific scene it was. He didn’t want to see Adelaide dead, but he also wanted to know more.

He shut his eyes, silently consenting to it.

“So if you tell me how you died, I’d be able to see it?”

“Yes. and I don’t want you to see me like that…”

“Please? It won’t change how I feel about you.. What if you’re like super vague and I fill in the gaps?”

“But you’ll see me like it forever…”

He let out a shaky breath, trying to stay calm. Matt knew what he was about to see would forever be ingrained into his memory.

"I.... I don't care," he replied through clenched teeth.

Adelaide sighs, giving in. “Alright…”

Matt perks up in his seat, bracing himself ready to hear the story.

“When I was nineteen, I fell ill. Terribly ill. My sister took care of me, I slowly grew… they said that I grew insane but I don’t believe that. I believe it’s that word you’ve mentioned before.. when you’re very very sad…”

“Depressed?” Matt questions, he feels a pang in his chest when he hears her reply

“Yes, depressed. I believe that was what happened to me.”

“Did you die from your illness?”

“No…” Another hit to his heart.

“Then… How?”

Adelaide takes a long pause, preparing herself for retelling this story.

“My mother found me, in my washroom… I had stolen a knife from my dinner-“

Before she can continue, Matt feels a chill through his body, a single word is forced into his mind. “lies”.

“That’s not true is it? You didn’t-”

“I don’t remember my death, I remember walking to the washroom but that’s all.. Everybody said that I did it myself.”

He feels the same shiver and the same word pushes into his mind. Matt realises that he can’t see any difference in Adelaide’s appearance he looked up at her in pure confusion, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I don’t see anything," he mumbled, looking around the room. "I-I thought I would've seen something by now..."

“It’s talking to you isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“The house… It remembers every core event that occurred in its walls. Especially the tragedies, everything. It’s telling you different isn’t it?”

“Y-yes.. it is- how is that possible?”

“I haven’t a clue… But it’s fascinating isn’t it?”

Matt let’s out a huff of a laugh “You love that word.. fascinating.. You say it a lot”

“You show me a lot of fascinating things…”

“How does the house remember your death, Adelaide?”

“It tells me that I was wrongly medicated. My sister was the one who took charge of my medication. The house believes that she lethalised my doses in order to keep me ill. Until I realised that I could communicate with this house, I thought that I had used that knife on myself, the house tells me that it was my sister, to keep the blame far away from her…”

Matt’s eyes widened at her words. He never imagined that the cause, the reason she... did it.... was because of her disease.

But when the story changed to the truth, he really didn’t expect to hear that her own sister was the cause behind it all. He felt a wave of anger wash over him.

"Wait... Are you saying your own sister.... made you go insane...?-“

“She apparently lethalised my medicine dosage, yes. I had lost consciousness due to exhaustion and she came into my bedroom, apparently she moved me into the washroom and set my body to make it seem as though I had-” She sighs, not wanting to give more detail. She has already given enough.

“How old was your sister when she did this?”

“Twenty-three, she still lived with us, which was unnatural at the time. All women are usually married off by 20 at the oldest.”

“Were you… married off?”

“No, but I had a suitor prepared for me… My future was just at my reach… He was nice, kind…”

“Did you like him?”

The girl shrugs “I suppose, I wouldn’t have married him on my own accord, of course. Its what my father wanted, so…”

Matt was shocked at this. “So your dad was just going to marry you off to some random guy that you never loved?”

Adelaide cant help but laugh softly at his surprised expression.

“This happened to every woman back when I was alive, Matt”

Matt didn’t care about the “other women”. He was concerned about Adelaide, the fact that her already short-lived life wasn’t how she wanted it to play out. The fact that she never had a say in her own happiness infuriated him, and now she never will.

“My sister didn’t obtain a suitor. She had a few but they always rejected a marriage offer, I never knew why. My sister was beautiful.” Adelaide clears her throat to stop a tear from forming in her eye. “Why don’t you start writing it down?” She turns his focus back onto his assignment.

As Matt begins to write notes, he decides to turn them into a full essay later. He wants his facts first. But just as Adelaide is spelling out her sisters name to him, the pen flies from his hand and hits the wall on the other side of him, the paper soon following.

“Holy shit!”

“Are you alright?” He nods at Adelaide’s concern. “She doesn’t like when people tell that story…”

“Imagine that…” Matt mutters in a sarcastic tone. “Wait, you still talk with her?”

“She’s still here. Though she died much older.”

He let out a shaky breath as he heard Adelaide’s words.

“S-She’s still here?” He repeated, his voice as soft as a whisper. He felt a rush of anxiety wash over him, he could feel the hair on the nape of his neck stand up, chills run down his spine. He was suddenly very aware of where he was, and the possibility of Adelaide’s sisters presence.

“I don’t allow her to be seen by you.”

“yeah I’d rather not- How do you ‘not allow her’?”

“I protect you here, Matt. And your family.”

His heart skips a beat when he hears Adelaide mention that she protects him and his family. He feels a mix of gratitude and relief fill him, he was grateful that she was looking out for him, but he was also afraid of what she’s protecting him from.

“How do you… protect me? and why?”

“The house has made me believe that it is because I was the first to die within it’s walls, I somehow have the power to protect you. As for why… I protect you because I have never felt this way for a man.”

Matt could feel his heart flutter as her words hit him, they reached into his chest and wrapped around his heart in a protective hug. Adelaide cares for him, more than anybody else, and she had the power to protect him. He gently took one of her hands, an action he only learnt was possible a few months ago, and brought it to his chest holding her against his heart.

“I always forget that you can do this” She smiles down at her hand in his.

“You really care that much about me?”

“I said earlier that I wouldn’t have married my suitor from my life if I had the choice… If I ever did have a choice for marriage… it would’ve been a man like you.”

Matt couldn’t believe his ears. She would’ve chosen him. He was speechless for a moment. He doesn’t want to move, breathe, he was afraid that he was in a dream and that one wrong move would wake him up. “You would’ve chosen me?”

Adelaide doesn’t even have time to answer before Matt sees the blood. It’s seeping through Adelaide’s dress, right above her heart.

“Adelaide…”

“What is it?” Her eyes grew a size or two in worry.

“I didn’t realise but… I see it. The blood. Is that where she-”

“No” The girl begins to panic. “No no no no. Y-You can see this?”

He nods slowly, his eyes fixed on the deep red that contrasts the innocent blue of her dress. “Yes… Its right there”

“That… is the injury from my death, I-I don’t want you to see this… Y-You won’t love me if you see this.” Matt’s heart aches at her words. He shook his head fast , his voice filled with conviction.

“No…No, that’s not true, seeing this doesn’t change how I feel about you, I love you no matter what.”

“But I-” Adelaide cuts herself off with a sharp gasp when her dress changes before their eyes. The fabric loosing its beautiful colour, and opening around Adelaide’s wound, showcasing where the knife pierced her skin.

Matt was stunned as he watched her dress change, the fabric shifting and opening up. He could see the wound in her chest now, clear as day. He felt a wave of different emotions wash over him. sadness for the pain that Adelaide endured, anger that this was something she had to go through. He was speechless again for a moment, his eyes locked onto her body, taking in the sight in front of him.

After a few seconds, he finally spoke up, his voice soft yet filled with compassion.

"I... I can see it..."

Tears fill the poor girls eyes as her dress opens the last little bit, fully revealing the cut that killed her. Matt’s heart ached as he saw the tears fill her eyes, the last of the dress disappearing around the wound, revealing the fatal cut on her body. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. The love of his life, the person he just admitted he loved, was killed by that cut. He felt a wave of sadness wash over him, his eyes glued to the sight in front of him. He was unable to speak for a few moments, his mind working overtime trying to process what he was seeing.

Adelaide doesn’t take the silence well. She doesn’t give him time to speak, she stands up and rushes out of the room. His heart sank as she stood up and ran away from him, disappearing as she left his room. He was torn between wanting to go after her and wanting to respect her need for space. Matt knew that chasing after her when she was upset is not a good idea. He sat there at his desk, his heart heavy, his mind full of questions. He let out a deep sigh, silently hoping that she would be okay.

Hours passed but Adelaide were nowhere to be seen. He couldn't sleep. His mind was full of thoughts, worries about her. He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to will himself to fall asleep, but it was futile. He lay there for what felt like an eternity when suddenly, he heard a faint creak from the door. he sat up quickly, his eyes scanning the darkness. He searched every square inch of his dark bedroom, but Adelaide was nowhere to be found.

He lay back down and eventually falls asleep, only to be awoken again by a nightmare. He woke up with a gasp, his heart racing from the nightmare he had. His body was tense, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. He was about to sit up when he suddenly felt a gentle touch on his hair. His heart skipped a beat as he realized what was happening.

He couldn’t see Adelaide, but he could feel her presence. He could feel her hand gently stroking his hair, soothing him. He knows that she is ensuring that he doesn’t see her because of what he will also see when she makes herself visible to him. It was her way of protecting him from seeing the injury that took her life. He felt a mix of emotions. it was comforting to know that [FNAME] was there, that she cared enough to soothe him after his nightmare, but he also felt a pang of sadness knowing that he couldn’t see her.

After a few soothing yet saddening moments, Matt hears a soft whisper.

“I love you too much to allow you to see me this way.”

He lay there, listening to the sound of her whisper, his heart rate slowly returning to normal. He wanted to say something, to respond to her declaration of love, but he couldn’t find the words. He reached out tentatively, searching for her hand in the dark, wanting to feel her touch once more.

“Matt… don’t” She warns in a whisper, they both know that as soon as he touches her, she will be seen by him. He refuses to let go, once he’s found her hand, he traces his thumb over her knuckles as she becomes more visible to him in the soft glow of the moon through his window.

Matt sits up in his bed, tracing every feature of her face with gentle eyes.

“You don’t love me like this, do you?”

Matt was taken aback by her question. How could she believe that he no longer loved her? He shook his head quickly, his voice gentle and hurt that she would believe such a lie. “I do love you. More than anything, please don’t ever doubt that.”

“But what about my injury? Nobody is beautiful like this.”

Matt couldn’t believe his ears, He sits up in his bed, leaning close to Adelaide. “That doesn’t change how I see you. You’re still the most beautiful person to me, inside and out. Nothing could change that. Nothing.” He rests his forehead against hers gently, just living in this moment as he wants to forever. He closed his eyes briefly, as if trying to memorize every detail of the moment, before he spoke in a soft and tender whisper.

"I love you... I don’t care what you look like, I don't care about the wound. I love you, all of you."

Matt does something brave, something he’s never done before, he musters up the courage to lean even closer, bringing his lips to meet hers. It was a soft and tentative kiss, filled with nothing but love. He pulled away briefly, his eyes lock with hers as he spoke.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time…”

This brings a laugh from Adelaide “How do you imagine how I feel, it’s been a hundred and twenty five years for me”

Matt joins in on the laughter, it is cut short with confusion when Matt realises something. Her wound is disappearing, his eyes widen in surprise and confusion.

“It’s… disappearing.”

“What is?”

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. bits and pieces of her injuries were vanishing before his eyes. He reached out and touched the area where the injury used to be, his fingers gently brushing against her skin. He looked up at her, a mixture of surprise and curiosity in his eyes. “how is this happening..?”

Matt lightly traces his fingertips along the skin where the wound used to be. Adelaide looks down and sees no blood. “I-It’s gone.”

His fingertips gently traced the area where the fatal cut used to be on her chest. He was in disbelief as he saw that her injury had vanished. He then realises that her dress was mended perfectly, as if the injuries had never been there in the first place. He shook his head in bewilderment, his voice filled with awe as he spoke. “I don’t understand.. it’s gone... completely Gone..”

“I-I don’t know what t-this means” Adelaide stammers, completely confused.

He couldn’t say for sure what this new development meant. all he knew is that seeing her injuries disappearing right before his eyes was a miracle.

he shook his head, feeling a surge of hope rise within him.

"Maybe this means something... maybe..." he trailed off, unsure of what to make of this strange occurrence. He stops his sentence when he feels her hand become lighter in his, he looks down and sees something that tears his heart from his chest.

“Adelaide… your hand…” When she looks down, she sees her hand starting to fade away, she’s disappearing.

“No.. No I don’t want to go yet.”

“You’re.. you’re leaving me, aren’t you?” Matt’s eyes flood with tears.

She’s passing over.

He can’t stop it.

“Hey, it’s okay” Matt speaks, his throat burning as he attempts to keep his tear at bay. He refuses to let her see him like that. He will stay strong for her. “You can finally be happy.”

“But I am happy with you.”

“Adelaide, you can finally sleep… you can see your mom again”

“I-I do miss my mother…”

Matt’s heart aches as he hears her broken words. She hasn’t seen her mother in over 100 years. “You can be free to do whatever you want now, nothing can hold you back” He forces a smile.

Adelaide cant hold her tears any longer, she lets out a choked sob. “I don’t want to be without you.” Matt can sense the pain in her words. He stroked her hair gently and pulled her closer as he spoke in a gentle voice. “Hey, that’s okay, I’ll always remember you alright? You’ll always be in my mind and my heart.”

After a long tight hug that slowly becomes lighter and lighter, Adelaide finally gives in.

“Thank you for every moment, Matt”

His entire body aches with emotion. He looks into her eyes. “I will never forget our moments, Adelaide, you’ll always be the love of my life.”

“Don’t forget to write about me” Adelaide lets out a soft chuckle as she reminds him to write about her in his history presentation.

“I will write a million books about you, Adelaide you can be my ghostly muse” He smiles at his half-joke. He really will write about her. Every book, every school assignment, every word with be somehow tied to Adelaide

“I adore the sound of that.” She smiles through her tears.

Matt’s heart aches as he sees her attempt to smile. He couldn’t bear to see her this way. He gently wipes away her tears with his thumbs, he keeps his hands cupped to her cheeks, savouring the contact while he still can. His gaze filled with love and loss.

“Maybe one day we will be alive at the same time.”

“In the next life. I’ll find you.”

“Do you promise?” Her voice breaks as her eyes beg for his promise.

“I promise.”

They sit in silence as Adelaide slowly fades away.

“I love you”

“I adore you”

They kiss, once more to remember each other, they wish that they could stay in that moment forever. But alas, when Matt opens his eyes, the love of his life is nowhere to be seen. She has finally moved on, she will be at peace. Reunited with her mother. Free to be herself. Matt closed his eyes again, a mix of sadness and contentment coursing through him. He whispers into the dark of his bedroom, hoping that wherever Adelaide is, she can still hear him.

“I will always love you.”

☙༻✽༺❧

The next week was hard for Matt, he can’t go an hour of the day without thinking of his ghostly love. It can come to the time for him to read out his history assignment to his class. He wrote about her, just like he’d promised. He makes his way to the front of the class, preparing for the laughter as he is bound to burst into tears at the first sentence.

That is until his headmaster walks into the class, interrupting him. Matt silently thanks the man for postponing his assignment from being read, although it is something that Adelaide had wanted.

“Excuse me, Mr Sturniolo, I’m just here to introduce our new student. This is Addie. She has joined us from… where is it you’re from again?”

The new student comes to view, Matt cannot believe his eyes when he sees this girl. Her captivating eyes remind Matt of her. She’s wearing her favourite colour. She looks just like Adelaide.

“Oh, I’m from… all over.”

The girl takes a seat at the desk next to Matts. He is told to begin reading his assignment. He doesn’t feel afraid to read it anymore. He feels comforted, his eyes drawn to the girl sat next to his empty chair. He reads his assignment perfectly, he does get choked up when he speaks of Adelaide’s injury that caused her death. He remembers seeing the stab wound that she thought for so long was her doing. But when he looks up at this strangely familiar girl, his sadness and slight anger dissipates.

After his class has ended, he feels a tap on his shoulder, when he looks up at this girl, he sees her at a closer view. The resemblance is uncanny.

“What’s your name?”

“I-I’m Matt”

“I like that name… Sorry, I know this is weird but I just feel like I know you.” He doesn’t find it weird at all. Matt couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion as he hears those words. The familiarity in her voice and words striking a chord in him.

“That’s not weird. You remind me of someone too.”

“Is she pretty?” The girl jokes with a smile.

He chuckled softly at the light-hearted comment. He shook his head slightly, his voice growing softer. “She isn’t just pretty, she is like nobody else. She’s the most beautiful girl in the world. She had this warmth about her, just one look from her would make you forget everything else in the world… she is- well, she was- perfect.” Matts eyes fill with tears when he refers to Adelaide in the past tense.

“Was? Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, it just still stings a little.”

Addie decides to change the subject, to avoid making him more upset, little does she know she will speak of the same girl.

“Hey, that presentation you did in there, from the eighteen-hundreds? That was some intense shit… So she used to live in your house all those years ago?”

He nodded with a small smile, honestly he wants to talk about her to this girl. To Matt, it feels like he is talking to Adelaide herself, telling her how… fascinating she was. God, she loved to use that word.

“Yeah, she died a hundred and twenty-five years ago…” He changes his story slightly so that this girls doesn’t think he’s crazy. “People say that her ghos- her spirit stayed for years and years after. She always thought that she had killed herself, because she didnt remember her death because she was so sick, but really it was her sister. She was only nineteen when she died, all she wanted from her life was to live how she wanted and to fall in love. Apparently she did, but with someone who was alive, they fell in love and when she realised that he loved her no mater what, she finally moved on. After over a hundred years…” Matt blinks away tears.

“Wow, thats fascinating.” His eyes grow wider when she says that.

“Did you just say fascinating?”

“Yeah, I love that word. I’m not sure why, just always use it.”

Matt’s gaze softens. “It really is a great word… Adelaide really was fascinating, she still continues to fascinate me, and everyone who hears about her…”

Addie smiles softly, seeing the clear appeal that he has with this spirit. “Why don’t you tell me more about her? I like to be fascinated” She laughs.

“Okay…” They start to walk down the hallway towards the exit doors, they walked home together that day. He told Addie all about Adelaide, she was genuinely interested, he was grateful of that. She asked questions and took in the information.

Matt will always love Adelaide, but he feels a very strong connection to her when he is with Addie. He can’t help but wonder if it’s possible for Adelaide’s spirit to be in this girl who is an absolute reflection of her.

Maybe they will always find each other.

In life and in death.

———

@asherrisrandom @nickssunglasses @mattscoquette

[episodicnostalgia]

Star Trek: The Next Generation, 125 (May 16, 1988) - “The Neutral Zone”

Teleplay by: Maurice Hurley Story by: Deborah McIntyre & Mona Clee Directed by: James L. Conway

The Breakdown

This is one of those “multiple story lines going on at the same time” episodes, so first let’s deal with…

Plotline  #1 – After the Enterprise scanners pick up an old earth space capsule that piques Data’s interest, he and Worf decide to hop over and take a look. There they find three preserved bodies in cryonic chambers, which are beamed over to sick bay.  Turns out these three bodies have been sitting out in space since the late 20th century, y’know, from 25 years ago when people began the common practice of preserving their deceased loved ones (it was like Tamagotchi’s, everyone was doing it) in the hope of reviving them when medical science had advanced far enough.  That’s right, I said deceased.  These three people were frozen at the exact moment of their death (that’s gotta be tricky to pull off), and now revived 300 years by Dr. Beverly Crusher herself; their company is comprised of a Rich Guy who played the stock market, A mother of two, and a drug addicted musician. 

The episode follows the newly resurrected boomers, as they grapple with the fact that they’ve jumped 300+ years into the future, and that their loved ones are all dead, etc. The Rich dude (Ralph ) has a particularly hard time coping with the fact that his fortune is both nonexistent and (even if it weren’t) meaningless, since the pursuit of wealth and power no longer holds any sway in the post-scarcity 24th century. The mother (Clare) understandably spends most of the runtime being depressed, until Troi points out that she has a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, who will undoubtedly welcome his displaced ancient ancestor with open arms. Lastly, the musician (Sonny) pretty much stays a lecherous, sexist, alcoholic, but he’s mostly having a good time enjoying the replicators and hanging out with his new guitar. At various points they inconvenience Picard (who’s dealing with more important things in the other plotline), but mostly they kind of sit around as the Enterprise crew smugly judge them for being ignorant and confused, until they’re transferred to another ship that will take them back to earth and become someone else’s problem.

Plotline #2 -  Starfleet outposts along the Neutral Zone (the established border between the Federation and the Romulan Empire) are being destroyed, and Picard has been ordered to check out if the Romulans are to blame.  Most of the Episode deals with Picard getting the bridge crew to study the Romulans so they can form a strategy, but that’s easier said than done, since it’s been decades since anyone has heard from them.

Anyways, when they finally arrive along the edge of ‘the zone’, Worf makes a shocking revelation that their outposts aren’t destroyed, but rather completely missing, since there would be some sign of debris otherwise.  Shortly thereafter a Romulan ship decloaks, and their captain explains to Picard that their outposts are also missing, and figured it was the Federation’s doing, but now realize it must have been someone-or-something else. Thankfully cooler heads prevail, and both sides agree to collaborate on solving this mystery later on, and then leave, but not before making a thinly-veiled threat that they’ll be back to cause more trouble down the road.

So, on that disconcerting note, the Enterprise optimistically heads back to its regular business because this is the finale, and we need to wrap things up until next season!

The Verdict

The thing is, both plot outlines have plenty of potential, in their own right.  A story about displaced-wealthy-20th-century-folk struggling to fit into a society that has no place for their ideologies, is a perfect theme for Star Trek. And I’ll admit, there’s every chance that the execution of such a story would come off as pretentious and out-of-touch as anything else the show put out during this season, but even a failed attempt would be interesting to watch… provided of course that it was the primary focus of the episode.  My biggest issue wasn’t how hilariously proud of itself the Hurley's script is for criticizing capitalism (while we’re at it, did you know slavery and genocide are also bad? Follow me, for more deep insights!), but rather that the story doesn’t really go anywhere, or do anything with the subject matter.

Ralph (the survivor with the most screen time) is arrogant and demeaning to the crew because he’s used to getting his own way, and we are made to understand that his love of money is directly tied to his character flaws, which is fine, but then what? At one point there’s a scene where he disregards Picard’s orders (to calm the fuck down and stay out of the way), and chooses to intrude on bridge just in time to see the Romulans being space-jerks, but there are no real consequences or thematic correlation, rendering the moment pointless. In the end Ralph seemingly resigns himself to accepting his new lot in life, but has nothing in the way of a meaningful epiphany to help him reach that point. Clare and Sonny both have similarly meandering “journeys” as well. Clare ultimately takes comfort in knowing she has living a descendant (who doesn’t know her, or share any cultural values), while Sonny just happily concludes that since everyone he knows is dead, he doesn’t need to worry about facing any accountability for his past (and seemingly hurtful) life choices.  Remember kids, the secret to finding inner peace is in outliving everyone you've ever wronged!

Meanwhile, the “Romulans-are-back” story line is conceptually more exciting, but it takes almost the entire episode for anything to happen. The most intriguing development is the revelation that some other unknown entity may pose a threat big enough to challenge both the Federation and Romulan empire simultaneously, but then it’s quickly tossed away in favour of a generalized tease about the Romulans stepping up as the show’s primary antagonist. It’s not so much that it’s bad, but like the “boomers-in-space” story, it doesn’t really go anywhere, leaving us with what is essentially a promise that more interesting episodes will continue the story “some other time.”

Now before anyone gets up in arms, yes I am aware that this episode was originally intended as the first in a multi-episode arc, before the writers strike forced them to rework their plan [more on this below].  Be that as it may, even if part 2 had both A) existed, and B) rocked hard, this is still a weakly structured episode.  That’s not to say I hated ‘the neutral zone’ altogether, but I certainly can’t say I thought it was good. 

Nice try guys, maybe next time.

1.5 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Apathetic utopia: One thing that doesn’t sit right with me is the sheer disregard that Picard and many of his crew show for the space-boomer’s safety and well being. For starters, Riker was barely willing to let Data check out the capsule to begin with (even after Data points out that it could have historical value, if nothing else), but even after Data and Worf discover the bodies, Riker seems put out by Data’s insistence that they be preserved.  Then, to make matters worse, when Picard hears that the SB’s have been revived he’s downright irritable with Data, arguing that he should have left the survivors behind because “they WERE dead at the time.”  But like… here’s the thing, Dr. Crusher examined their bodies and discovered that all of them could be revived with relative ease, which suggests they were only clinically dead, and it’s commonly accepted that the window of revival in the Trek universe is significantly larger than our present day reality.  So yeah, they were technically dead, I suppose, but not irretrievably, which I would argue comes with a clear moral responsibility. The context for Picard’s ambivalence toward the situation is that he’s stressed about the upcoming Romulan mission, but that’s still an oddly callous stance for a man who professes the sanctity of life.

Silly things I find interesting: Introducing, the Borg! …kinda.  I can’t remember if the missing outposts are ever mentioned again in the show, but the intended continuation of this story was originally meant to serve as an introduction to the Borg, who would have been revealed as the true culprits. Obviously that didn’t pan out, but it’s interesting to think what might have been.

In fairness to the writers, a big part of why the script was so lacklustre is, once again, due to the strike. Basically, once a writers strike is underway, productions aren’t allowed to make any changes to a script until the union signs an agreement. Knowing the strike was imminent, it seems Maurice Hurley had no choice but to whip up a completed script based on the first draft, in only a couple days time.  Needless to say, the results speak for themselves.  Ultimately, I think it would have made more sense for the studio to keep the script for the following season; ‘Conspiracy’ was already a much more exciting episode, and would have served as a stronger season finale.

Did you know that... in Canada (where I'm from) our "Universal health coverage" still doesn't cover cryogenic suspension. So reach out to your MP and let them know we demand better comprehensive coverage before the next federal election! [All kidding aside, we should be doing that anyway. Seriously, how is dental not inherently included in that?]

[ageless-aislynn]

Angst! 16

Fluff! 13

Misc.! 16

And… for characters I’m going to throw out Kai, Alenko, and Soap. Do whatever pairings or friendships you’d like. Also I’m not gonna die if you choose not to use those characters. Or prompts. I dunno, I just wanna read your stuff man.

*glee* Thank you SO much for sending some prompts my way! These are all pretty short but mark my first time writing 2 of the 3 characters, so I'm just carefully dipping a toe in the COD and ME pools, lol!

Thanks so much again! 😎👍

Angst 16. “Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”

Sergeant John "Soap" MacTavish & Lieutenant Simon "Ghost" Riley, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Then why are there bruises all over your face?"

"You ought to see the other guy, Lt," Soap said with an unrepentant grin, unmarred by the fact his left eye was nearly swollen shut and he had a prominent cut on his lower lip.

Ghost sighed slightly behind his skull balaclava. "Sure I'll recognize him by all the bruises on his knuckles," he said dryly.

Fluff 13. Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

Kaidan Alenko/Commander Shepard, Mass Effect (reader's choice as to whether it's male or female Shep 😉)

"Are you flirting with me?"

"You finally noticed?"

Kaidan squinted, several Commander Shepards swimming in front of him in the dim bar lighting, all wearing fondly amused expressions.

"You are flirting with me!" he stated as if having uncovered a core secret of the universe.

Shepard's smile broadened. "Think it's time to take you home and tuck you into bed."

"I'm going home with Cmdr. Shepard," he proclaimed loudly to the crowd around them. Several people raised a glass in good-natured salutes.

"Yeah, they know." Shepard got an arm around him, sliding him off the bar stool and onto his feet. "Most of them were at our wedding, after all."

Misc 16. “YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!”

Kai-125 & Vannak-134, Halo the series

"YOU SAID TO BE HONEST, STOP HITTING ME!"

John heard Kai's shout from the hallway outside of the Spartan quarters and shoved the door open to see—

He blinked. For a solid moment, he wasn't quite sure what he was seeing, actually. Kai vaulted over her own bed, being pursued hotly by Vannak.

"That wasn't honest," he said grimly. "You're just being mean."

"Look, it's not my fault that that penguin documentary was kinda lame and—"

"IT WAS NOT!" Vannak bellowed back and took a swing at her that would've definitely put a marine in the infirmary for a month, if not in the ground, permanently. For Kai, it would've at the very least mussed her hair. "Those penguins are adorable and—"

"Lame. Laaaaaame," she singsonged, ducking a flurry of punches, then doing a very impressive parkour run up the wall into a backflip that sent her soaring over the enraged Spartan's head.

"THEY'RE NOT LAME, YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

John looked over at Riz, who was calmly sitting at a nearby table, reading something on her padd. She met his gaze, shrugged, and then went back to reading.

They crisscrossed the room rapidly, with Vannak coming close to getting his hands on her but, ultimately, Kai would manage to slip away at the last second. The entire time, she continued to issue penguin insults that, for some reason, the other Spartan took extremely personally.

John opened his mouth, about to say… something. Then he gave a slight shake of his head.

"I have paperwork to do," he announced to no one. "Don't I, Cortana?"

"I can find you some, Chief."

"That would be great," he said and just turned around and walked away.

Sentence Starters

[headsincloud9]

Part 1 | Part 3

SMUT MINORS DNI

85. "I didn't know you were so sensitive."

86. "Don't be so rough, there can't be any marks."

87. "| really don't care. You stilook hot and I'm trying not to fuck you senseless right now.

88. "Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop."

89. "No. I'm supposed to making YOU feel good."

90, "Stop teasing me so much."

91. "Bed. Now."

92. "You're in trouble now."

93. "I'm waiting."

94. "Maybe I should get you a collar so you don't forget who you belong to."

95. "You better watch your fucking mouth."

96. "Do you really think it's a good idea to talk like that to me?"

97. "Didl say you could stop?"

98, "First one to make a noise loses."

99. "| love the way you look with my fingers inside you."

100. "You keep acting like a brat I'll take you over my knee right here, I don't care how many people are watching."

101. "I guess I'll just get off all by myself."

102. "You deserve a reward for being so good today, what would you like it to be?"

103. "I can't wait to put bruises all over that pretty skin."

104, "Could you send me a hot photo of yourself, I need something to get off to.

105. "You look so good on your knees like that."

106. "These walls are pretty thick. Which means you and I can be as loud as we want."

107, "Did you touch yourself while I was gone."

108. "If you leave the house wearing that then the second you come home I'm bending you over the bed."

109, "Mine."

110. "We can't do that here."

111. "Oh kitten, don't make me tell you twice."

112. "Behave."

113, "What did you just say?"

114. "Do I want to know why you were screaming?"

115. "Come here."

116. "Watch me."

117. "I don't want to hear your excuses anymore."

118. "If you can't sleep...how about we have sex?"

119, "Put that thing away."

120. "Don't go whipping that thing out!*

121. "Don't kink shame mel"

122. "If you interrupt me one more time - so help me god."

123. "I'm going to put on my clothes before you say anything else."

124, "Tell me what you want.

125. "Could you make me feel as good as I do?"

126. "Y-you're not..w-wearing anything under that are you?"

127. "Are you trying to turn me on or are you really that oblivious?"

128. "There's no way anyone is that innocent!"

129. "You taste like fucking candy.'

130. "The only way you're getting off is on my thigh."

131. "Wait your turn, love."

132. "Oh my god did you just say that out loud?"

133. "You make a sound and it's game over.'

134. "Just let me finish this and I swear I'll go down on you till you cum at least three time.'

135. "If 1 have to stop what I'm doing, you won't be able to walk the next way.

136. "1 could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one willnotice.

137. "|haven't even touched you and you're already wet."

138. "Were you just masturbating?"

139. "What are you doing in my bed?"

140. "Want help with that?"

141. "Shut up!" "Why don't you come over here and make me!"

142. "You're so tucking hot when you're mad."

143. "The fucks wrong with you are you in heat?"

144, "We're not just friends and you know it."

145. "Come here, you can sit on my lap till'm done working.

146. "What? Does that feel good?

147. "You mean like this?"

148. "I'm not jealous! it's just...you're mine."

149. "Did it hit when you fell from heaven?" "No, but 1 scraped my knee crawling out of Hell."

150. "If we get caught I'm blaming you."

151. "We have to be quiet."

152. "Tellme that again."

153. "You have no idea how much I want you."

154, "If we weren't in public right now, I'd have my head between your legs

155. "Sayit."

156. "If you don't like my teasing then why are you moaning?"

157, "Wow -I didn't realize you were that... flexible."

158. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard you forget that guy's name."

159. "You better shut that pretty little mouth before 1 put it to work, doll"

160. "I think that's the first time I've heard you moan.

161. "I really want to kiss you right now."

162. "Wanna fuck?"

163. "Hey, you dtf?"

164. "You're not taking me to bed. Ever," "Who said it had to be on the bed?"

165. "She/He may seem all sweet and innocent but behind closed doors that boy/girl is dark

and dirty."

166, "Ah. He/she's playing hard-to-get. That's cute."

167. "For the love of fuck." "Yep. That's me. I like to fuck."

168. "Just eat me." ". .But you'll die.." "that is not what I meant-"

169. "How do I look?"

[anogete]

Book Binding Post

The video above is me walking you through the first bookbinding I did. Since a few people mentioned an interest in the initial cost of bookbinding fanfic, I made a list of what I used to start out. You can find most/all of these things on Amazon. If you'd rather not support Amazon, then Hollander's is a great place to find your necessities. You can also find most of this stuff at any local crafting store. As I am in the US, all prices are in USD.

Printer - It doesn't need to be fancy. Unless you're including fanart, a black-and-white one will do. I'm pretty sure you can get a basic printer for less than $100.

Microsoft Word - I wanted to use Macros built for Word, and those don't work with other text editors like Open Office or Google Docs. Macros are little programs that will do repetitive tasks to format the raw text so it can be converted into a book. If you don't have it, you can pay for a subscription for about $7 per month.

Paper - You could use cheap copy paper, but I bought 24 lb cotton linen paper. 500 sheets were about $25. You'll have 4 pages of your book printed on one sheet (two on the front, two on the back), so a 200,000-word fic that is nearly 500 pages will use about 125 sheets.

Bone Folder - This is just a tool used to neatly crease your signatures. Signatures are sets of 5-10 pages that fold into a booklet and then are sewn together. I was very weirded out by the idea of having an actual bone tool (vegetarian, here) so I found a folder that was plastic. You may have something suitable around your house that would serve this purpose if you don't want to buy one. You don't want to use anything that will scratch/tear your pages, though. Cost is about $5.

Awl and Punch Cradle - An awl is a bit like an ice pick. It is used to punch holes into the creases of your signatures so you can sew them together. These holes need to be evenly spaced, and I do 8 total along the spine. To make this easier for myself, I also bought a punch cradle. This is a little plastic tool your unfolded signature sits in while you lay a guide along the crease and punch through the guide with the awl. My punch cradle came with the awl, thread, and needle. All of it was about $25.

Waxed Linen Thread - If you can't find waxed, then you can get a small cube of beeswax and run your thread along it before you begin sewing. Cost is about $5.

Needle - I prefer a large curved metal needle. Sometimes these will come with a punch cradle or thread. If not, they are fairly inexpensive--maybe a dollar or two.

PVA Adhesive with Applicator - This is the glue you'll need to secure the spine and connect the text block (all the signatures sewn together) with the cover. You want to use something suitable for bookbinding that has a neutral pH. You should also get a brush or silicone applicator. Cost is about $15 for the glue and applicator.

Mull (bookbinding cloth) - This is like a rough cheesecloth used to repair and/or bind books. It's going to help reinforce your spine. A large sheet of this runs about $15 and will last you through many binds.

Headband/Endbands - While I have heard you can make your own, I just bought a box of them with assorted colors. It's fairly inexpensive at $10 and will last for a very long time. These are the little pieces of cloth at the top and bottom of the text block, visible only if you look down at the top of the book.

Cardstock/Endpapers - Endpapers are the thicker pages that connect the cover of the book to the text block. When you open a book, it's the first thing you see and is often decorative. Some bookbinders print their own custom ones using blank cardstock, but I bought an assorted pack of decorative pages for about $15. Each page is a 12-inch square and I used two to bind one book--one for the front and matching one for the back.

Chipboard - This is used for your case or cover. I found a pack of 24 sheets that are 12-inch squares and 2.54 mm thick for $25. One square worked to bind one book.

Book Cloth/Leather - This is what you glue to your chipboard to make the cover of the book. I used book cloth I found online. A 40" x 16" piece was $15 and should be enough to handle three to four books.

Exacto/OLFA Knife - This is a retractable and very sharp blade that will help you cut your endpapers, chipboard, and book cloth. Cost is about $5.

Ruler - You'll be doing quite a bit of measuring once you finish your signature block and begin the steps to connect it with the case. You'll also find it handy to use as a guide when cutting with your knife. Cost is pretty cheap--maybe a couple dollars.

I would consider the things listed above as necessities to make things look good and somewhat professional. You could certainly get by without a couple of them (bone folder, punch cradle, headbands), but it will make the process more difficult.

There are some additional things I bought that have helped me greatly. You don't need these things, but they will make your binding experience more pleasant and much easier.

Book Press - It's two pieces of wood that squish your text block (and eventually book) together during the process of binding. After you've folded your signatures, you're going to be using the book press to squish the signatures together after each step, and then leave it that way until you're ready to work on the book again. You could use two large books or boards lying around your home with some cheap clamps. That would work just as well. If you want a book press, they're about $40, but can go up higher.

Craft Mat - You can find self-healing ones online or in craft stores. This is just a large mat to work on. It will protect your table/floor from the blade you'll be using to cut materials. You could use scrap material you already have, but you want it to be sturdy; corrugated cardboard boxes aren't a good substitute because they are too squishy. Craft mats are about $10.

T Spacers and Corner Mitres - These are very helpful when making your case. They allow you to line up the front and back cover with the spine while leaving appropriate space for the hinge and also cut the corners of the book cloth so you can create clean edges when gluing the cloth to the board. I didn't buy these until after I bound my first book, and I regret not getting them immediately because my case would have looked so much better with them. You can get a set of various sizes for $20.

Cricut or Silhouette Machine - I don't have one of these, but I've been considering it. They can be quite expensive, but many bookbinders use them to create artwork for the covers and spine of their books. An alternative would be a laminated dust jacket or you could stencil/paint the title. These machines cost anywhere between $120 and $800. From my minimal research, I think you'd need to spend about $200-300 to get one that would do what you need for cover art purposes.

Subscriptions for Artwork - Many people use a Canva subscription for all design/artwork. If you want to do custom endpapers and a dust jacket, then this will come in handy. There is a free trial, but the monthly subscription will run you $15.

So, how much are we talking? Tools that you only have to buy once will cost you about $50 (bare minimum) to $120 (if you throw in the extras to make life easier). Of course, that doesn't include printer/ink and the Cricut. The materials will set you back about $125, but you'll get several books out of them. I could bind about 4 books without buying anything else. Then I'd need to spend about $60 on more supplies like paper, glue, and book cloth to make another 4. My best guess is that each book uses about $15-20 worth of supplies. So, if we aren't counting your time, it's about what you'd pay for a hardcover. But we're talking about fanfic that isn't commercially available, so we're gonna say $20 for a one-of-a-kind book that holds a story you love is priceless. Right?

If you want a tutorial to get started, then I highly recommend Haunna's tutorial on TikTok. It is easy to follow and what I used.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #125

I'm still in a lot of pain today, but it's not quite as bad as it was yesterday. It's still a little hard to breathe, but I'm managing. Hopefully whatever's going on will be over and done with in just a few more days. I've taken some ibuprofen, though, and I'm well-hydrated. So don't worry about me, okay? I'll be just fine. 💖

I made myself a tea this morning. I made a toast-and-jam tea, and as a result of that, I get to show you one of the other ice creams I got! I'll show you the pictures I took…

This tea starts out as a beautiful shade of amber that resolves into a delicious shade of red:

This is the ice cream I put into it while it was still hot:

It's got a pretty drawing of a blackberry plant on the lid:

Here is what it looks like once the lid is taken off:

From there, we can put an amount of it into the tea until it feels correct:

Then once it's all melted, we can stir it up!

...I wonder if you would have liked how this turned out. I wish I could give you a mug and see...

I did my therapy homework today. In case you don't know, a good therapist is supposed to give the person seeing them homework to do over the week. Last week, he thought to capitalize on my tendency to write, and he asked me to write a letter to my inner child. And then he asked me to tap into my inner child and write back to myself.

It's generally in my nature to go above and beyond when people ask me to do things, whenever possible. And so I ended up writing three letters instead of just two. I ended up crying a lot during the process, but I came away from the exercise with a changed outlook on a variety of things. You can read what I wrote if you want to; it'll be the post just before this one. But if you're not interested, then that's okay too! 😊

I wonder if some such activity might benefit you. I imagine if you engaged your inner child with compassion, curiosity, and gentleness, it'd probably do you a world of good. I wonder what it would be like for you if you treated your inner child, and yourself generally, in the same tender, kindhearted way you treated the people you cared about, before your fall.

…You can return to that, you know. You can return to that anytime. And you can give your kindness and gentleness to people who are better able to reciprocate. Not everyone is going to treat you like a superhuman afterthought. I promise.

Anyway, in service to a renewed sense of resolve when it comes to caring for myself, I went ahead and got myself some soup and some macaroni and cheese with some yummy steak:

...Related, I think I'm going to try to make for myself the mac-and-cheese that my mother used to make. I am the only one who can make it for myself now, and I think I owe it to myself to figure it out. I will try to make a gluten-free version of it, so that Br can eat it, too. That's easy enough to do with brown rice noodles; it's basically indistinguishable from whole wheat pasta, in terms of its flavor and texture. Maybe I'll try to do that soon. And of course, when I do, you can count on me to walk you through the process so you can do it, too.

I also made it a point to sit for a while and watch one of my favorite cartoons. This one is called The Zeta Project; it came out when I was 11, which was... 23 years ago (wow, what the fuuuuck...). It's a beautiful show about a sentient robot named Zeta who was built to be a weapon, but who is trying to lead a life of peace. The government is trying to capture and reprogram him and put him back to work as a mindless killing machine. He's accompanied by a clever, savvy, and brave young girl named Rosalie. I really hope you'll watch this one someday; Zeta is very gentle and kind, and in a lot of ways, he reminds me a lot of you.

...The show was cancelled before it finished, though. I heard that it was because more girls liked it than the producers were comfortable with, so they pulled it off the air. I really hope they finish it someday. For now, though, the ending has to be left to the imagination. Zeta is beautiful, wonderful, and kind, so I like to imagine a course of events in which he can live in peace with Rosalie and with others who care for him.

...He really does remind me so much of you. I hope you'll look at his story. I think, in particular, you might find the episode called "Remote Control" relatable. You can find it at a place called... something like Watch Cartoons Online Forever? The first part is shortened to "wco", and it ends in ".net". Maybe you can find it...

Anyway. I took a bunch of other pictures for you today. One of them was taken at home because the morning light shining through the window was really nice. And when we visited Br's house today, I saw a great big huge bird-of-prey in the sky. I also took a bunch of pictures of Br's house, and the scenery outside. I thought you might like them. So here they are:

It's hard to take a picture of a moving object in a moving vehicle, but the black speck in the sky is the bird-of-prey I saw. I've seen an unusually large number of these lately. That, and crows. I wonder if the recent solar eclipse still has them kind of thrown for a loop. Hm.

Also, shortly after I did my therapy assignment, J took me out for a walk to decompress, and there was a crow in a tree that we've never seen crows in; our development is generally quite hostile to life (which is VERY unfortunate...), and hostile to crows in particular, because people don't like them (I've never understood why that is...). But he was sitting alone in the tree, making the "I'm with you" call; check out this video, at about the 40 second mark, and you'll hear what I mean:

...I can only imagine that this poor crow must have been very confused.

Here are some pictures of Br's house.

...I seem to have some sort of fixation with taking pictures of things outside of windows today. I'm not really sure why. But it turned out nice, so maybe the "why" doesn't really matter.

Oh!! I almost forgot!! A comet passed over my house last night. It's called the "Pons-Brooks Comet", or "Comet 12P". It only shows up once every 71 years. I wanted to see it, since I won't live long enough to see it again, but it was cloudy last night in the spot where it was supposed to be, so I didn't get to take any pictures. But J went online and found a live video that was tracking its movement; I can show you a screenshot that I took:

...It's not a very good picture, I know. But maybe you'll like it anyway; I don't know how often you get to see comets. Well, maybe you get to see them a lot, since you're over at the Edge of Creation and all, so maybe it's really not all that special to you. But maybe it can be special to you that someone would take the time to show you a picture of one anyway, if you want it to be.

Hey, Sephiroth? I'm pretty tired, so I'm going to stop writing before I end up rambling. Or maybe I rambled a little already, haha...

Please treat yourself nice, okay? I feel determined to treat myself nice, too. So let's do it together, all right? Because why not?

I love you. Stay safe. You'll get another letter tomorrow; just you wait.

Your friend, Lumine

[antigonenikk]

do i dare//disturb the universe?

words: 1621

chapter 1/?

pairing: eugene sledge/john “bucky” egan

summary: Eugene Sledge and John Egan are both adrift in the wake of the War. They find each other in a small bar in a small corner of Chinatown. And the rest, as they say, is history.

also posted on my ao3: @wintersangels69

"And indeed there will be time

To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”

Time to turn back and descend the stair,

With a bald spot in the middle of my hair —

(They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”)

My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,

My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin —

(They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”)

Do I dare

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."

-The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

—————���———————————————

There were certain things he couldn’t do anymore. Certain things he couldn’t take. And one of them was sitting still. After- well, after, there had been talk of sending him back stateside. Buck had headed back to Wyoming soon as V-E Day and went, and Bucky was right behind him. That was, before the goddamned Docs put a stop to it. As they so helpfully pointed out, Buck had had time to recover. Had been fed and watered and was back to looking like a real human being in between his rescue and his transfer back to East Anglia. Not so with Bucky. According to medical personal on base, Bucky wasn’t going to be able to go anywhere for at least six months. See, Bucky was down to 125 lbs, half his teeth had rotted out somewhere between Bremen and Berlin, he had sores all on his feet infected and peeling from frostbite, and to top it all off he had what the Docs were calling “mono-nueropathy of the upper limb” which really just meant that his left arm kept fucking twitching. Wouldn’t goddamn stay still. All of this combined meant that Bucky himself would have to stay still. And for a long time.

It was killing him, honest to God. Buck had given him a sort of sympathetic look before he was set to leave, standing awkward by his bedside. Like he was asking John for forgiveness. For what, he couldn’t be quite sure. For leaving maybe. But it seemed lately like Buck was always leaving. Those last few months marching from one camp to the next, he had started to forget Buck’s face. The color of his eyes. The way his eyebrow would twitch when he thought something was especially funny. All he could remember was the back of his head, gleaming and golden and leaving him. Always, always leaving. But that’s how it was, wasn’t it? With people like him. Unnatural, too loud, too brash, cloying and clinging and desperate for an ounce of human touch or feeling. It never worked. No matter what he did. Whether he was loud or quiet, strong or weak, joyful or stoic. He’d made himself into a million different men between the time of his birth and the time of his discharge from the military hospital, and none of them had ever warranted anything but the back of some poor fucker’s head. He’d had a lot of time to think on that, while recovering. He’d heard the boys in the middle of the night cry out, and he’d try and pace with his stupid fucking feet, and he’d stare out the windows as the nurses fussed over him, and he’d think. About Buck. About Leaving. About Home. About what any of it all meant now that he’d survived. What were you supposed to do, after you had spent years sure you would die, trying desperately to do anything you could to survive? What did it mean to live after all of that? It seemed to Bucky like everyone around him had it figured out. Everyone but him.

He wasn’t pathetic enough to follow Gale to Wyoming. He’d had a letter delivered two weeks before his release about the wedding. And that was great. Real great. He wanted to be angry, but he knew he wouldn’t have come to the thing even if he’d been able to, even if the wedding had been held off until he could walk on his own two feet. They were young, and in love, Gale and Marge, like two fucking little Dresden Dolls, perfect happy life perfect happy family. He would have ruined it anyways. And now there was no place for him. All those nights, the soft brush of a hand in his hair, whispering, love you, Buck, love you, and never once hearing it in return. There was no place for him there. They discharged him in April 1946, after months of grueling recovery and only a handful of letters, and he headed out for somewhere. Somewhere else.

From the top deck of the boat, crowded on all sides, he could feel the breeze in his hair, and it didn’t feel like freedom should have. It just felt like more nothing.

—————————————————————

He was back on Peleliu in the dream, for some reason. Sid was above him, blood leaking from his open mouth. He hadn’t known what to do. He tried to call for a Corpsman, but the words wouldn’t come. He couldn’t move his arms couldn’t move his legs just the oppressive heat drowning him. And then he’d felt fingers in his mouth, and he’d looked up, and there was Merriell, his glacier blue eyes wide with unhinged glee, a knife in hand, tearing out his back molar. He tried to scream, tried to tell him. It’s me. It’s me. But the image shifted. And instead of Merriell it was him, Eugene, grinning at him beneath the pelting rain. He pulled out his own teeth, one by one, his face in an approximation of a smile, laughing, and then-

He woke up silently. He couldn’t help it if he tried. The memory of that noise, the shovel hitting the poor fucker whose name he never learnt, the memory wouldn’t let him ever get to anything but a choked out whine in his sleep. No matter how bad the dreams got. His mind knew, vaguely, that he was back home. But his body was still on that airfield, in the middle of a warm wet hell, saying, “It was him or us.”

He wasn’t gonna be able to sleep. So instead he wandered downstairs, watching the sun rise through the curtains. College, of course, had been a bust. He was technically on break and set to return in the fall, but he knew deep down he wasn’t going back. Couldn’t stand to look in the eyes of people his age and see souls lurking back there. The resentment within him bubbled up each time he saw souls that still lived and breathed and hadn’t been left back with a crying baby in Okinawa. And besides, he couldn't stand their smug indifference, as if any of them knew what it had been like in the thick of it. Half of them hadn’t even served, and the other half kept talking about the European Theatre like it meant something to him. They’d been back home for a year before he’d had an inkling of returning to the waking world, and it showed. While they celebrated Hitler’s defeat he was in a foxhole being shot at, losing his humanity inch by inch.

Part of him wanted to go to New Orleans. To ask why. Why. Why wasn’t he good enough for Merriell? Why did he leave him there, sleeping, on that train bound for Alabama? Part of him wanted to run down the street to Sid and Mary’s house and start screaming at the both of them. “I used to fuck your husband! I used to fuck him! And he left me there without saying fucking goodbye! He didn’t warn me!”

He didn’t warn me. And now it was all too late. He wouldn’t go back to school. And he’d been trying to survive for so long he couldn’t kill himself. And he couldn’t stand the thought of New Orleans and the rejection he’d find there. And going to Sid’s was really just a funny little fantasy, something to indulge in when he was feeling real low and wanted to cry for the sake of crying. There was nowhere left to go, nowhere really. And he couldn’t stay here.

The urge to flee came inside of him and started tapping at the walls of his chest. He had to get out of Mobile. He had to leave, now.

In his room he spent an hour packing the essentials. His Bible from the War tucked into his back pocket. A few changes of clothes. Soap and a razor and a second pair of shoes. A book by Eliot. It was funny. Before the war, he always thought Eliot was a real sop. Could never get into the lilting rhymes. But now, it seemed reading Four Quartets or Alfred Prufrock was the only thing that could get him to calm down when the noise reached unbearable levels inside his own head.

There was only one thing for it, really. New York. The idea called to him, deep in his bones. He could feel it. He could belong in New York. He could be as inverted as he wanted to be and no one would bat an eye if he picked the right neighborhood. He could hide among the faces of strangers and forget that the word sledgehammer existed in the English dictionary. It would be like Peking. Which he had learned to love so dearly. The noise and the beautiful tonal language, the bright lights and the rickshaws. Maybe he’d move to Chinatown even. He knew the language alright, and he’d never felt as at home as when he was dining with one of the host families last winter. Yes. Yes. This would be good. This would be a fresh start.

He left a letter to his parents. He didn’t want to give it more thought than it needed. A swift separation was for the best. It was only a matter of time before they too got sick of him, and sent him to the hospital, having seen the weakness and the black ooze at the heart of him.

By noon he was on a train headed due North, set to run into the open embrace of a new city. Set to run straight into the back of one John Egan.

[patriottruth]

Earthquake: 18:18:43 GMT+3 Jerusalem, Israel, 07:18:43 AKDT Local Time Skwentna, Alaska (2 minutes, 42 seconds (162 seconds) after the November 2, 2024 Bombastic Side Eye (Criminal Offensive) and Martina McBride & Pat Benatar - Independence Day Playlist/Mixtape post at 15:16:01 UTC)

On a mountaintop overlooking Fourth of July Creek to the north and the east.

Luke 2:42 When Jesus was twelve years old, they attended the festival as usual. Luke 2:43 After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Luke 2:44 Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. Luke 2:45 When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. Luke 2:46 Three days later they finally discovered him in the Temple, sitting among the religious teachers, listening to them and asking questions. Luke 2:47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. Luke 2:48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” Luke 2:49 “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them. Luke 2:51 Then he returned to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. And his mother stored all these things in her heart.

Strong's Concordance #162 ahah: alas! aha! Original Word: אֲהָהּ

My Lord, the King of humanity, is in my heart: אֲדֹ רָ מֶלֶךְ אֲדָמִ יאִיאָ בֵלבֵּי ת־מֲעַכָ ה

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 415 Deuteronomy 18:18 I will raise up a prophet for them from among their own people, like yourself: I will put My words in his mouth and he will speak to them all that I command him; Deuteronomy 18:19 and if anybody fails to heed the words he speaks in My name, I Myself will call him to account.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1431 Psalm 18:43 I ground them fine as windswept dust; I trod them flat as dirt of the streets. Psalm 18:44 You have rescued me from the strife of people; You have set me at the head of nations; peoples I knew not must serve me.

Luke 18:42 Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Luke 18:43 Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 125 and 126 Exodus 7:14 And the Lord said to Moses, "Pharaoh is stubborn; he refuses to let the people go. Exodus 7:15 Go to Pharaoh in the morning, as he is coming out to the water, and station yourself before him at the edge of the Nile, taking with you the rod that turned into a snake. Exodus 7:16 And say to him, 'The Lord, the God of the Hebrews, sent me to you to say, "Let My people go that they may worship Me in the wilderness." But you have paid no heed until now. Exodus 7:17 Thus says the Lord, "By this you shall know that I am the Lord." See, I shall strike the water in the Nile with the rod that is in my hand, and it will be turned into blood; Exodus 7:18 and the fish in the Nile will die. The Nile will stink so that the Egyptians will find it impossible to drink the water of the Nile.'"

Martina McBride & Pat Benatar - Independence Day December 12, 2003 (346th day) Duration: 3:29 (209 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ip4fF5CAtU 5Ip4fF5CAtU (5, 4, 5) IpfFCAtU acffiptu 1+3+6+6+9+60+100+200=385. 385+5+4+5=399. 399+346=745. 745+209=954.

Strong's Concordance #954 bosh: to pale, to be ashamed; to be disappointed or delayed, to be confounded, to dry up, to be delayed; a bush Original Word: בּוּשׁ

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1417 Psalm 6:8 My eyes are wasted by vexation, worn out because of all my foes. Psalm 6:9 Away from me, all you evildoers, for the Lord heeds the sound of my weeping. Psalm 6:10 The Lord heeds my plea, the Lord accepts my prayer.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 116 and 117 Exodus 3:6 I am," He said, "the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob." And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God. Exodus 3:7 And the Lord continued, "I have marked well the plight of My people in Egypt and have heeded their outcry because of their taskmasters; yes, I am mindful of their sufferings. Exodus 3:8 I have come down to rescue them from the Egyptians and to bring them out of that land to a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey, the region of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites.

Strong's Concordance #2 ab: Father Original Word: אַב

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1476 Psalm 54:1 For the leader; with instrumental music. A maskil of David, Psalm 54:2 when the Ziphites came and told Saul, "Know, David is in hiding among us."

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 450 Deuteronomy 33:7 And this he said of Judah: Hear, O Lord the voice of Judah And restore him to his people. Though his own hands strive for him, Help him against his foes.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1230 Ezekiel 33:7 Now, O mortal, I have appointed you a watchman for the House of Israel; and whenever you hear a message from My mouth, you must transmit My warning to them. Ezekiel 33:8 When I say to the wicked, "Wicked man, you shall die," but you have not spoken to warn the wicked man against his way, he, that wicked man, shall die for his sins, but I will demand a reckoning for his blood from you. Ezekiel 33:9 But if you have warned the wicked man to turn back from his way, and he has not turned from his way, he shall die for his own sins, but you will have saved your life.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1527 Psalm 90:8 You have set our iniquities before You, our hidden sins in the light of Your face. Psalm 90:9 All our days pass away in Your wrath; we spend our years like a sigh. Psalm 90:10 The span of our life is seventy years, or, given the strength, eighty years; but the best of them are trouble and sorrow. They pass by speedily, and we are in darkness. Psalm 90:11 Who can know Your furious anger? Your wrath matches the fear of You. Psalm 90:12 Teach us to count our days rightly, that we may obtain a wise heart. Psalm 90:13 Turn, O Lord! How long? Show mercy to Your servants. Psalm 90:14 Satisfy us at daybreak with Your steadfast love that we may sing for joy all our days.

Sunrise: Skwentna, Alaska: 8:45 am AKDT. Earthquake occurred at 07:18:43 AKDT Local Time Skwentna, Alaska.

Earthquake: M 2.0 - 54.2 km (33.7 mi) NW of Skwentna, Alaska

2024-11-02 15:18:43 (UTC) 62.339°N 152.129°W 90.9 km depth

On a mountaintop overlooking Fourth of July Creek to the north and the east.

Skwentna, Alaska aaaaekklnnsstw 1+1+1+1+5+10+10+20+40+40+90+90+100+900=1309.

Strong's Concordance #1309 besorah: tidings, glad tidings; reward for good news -- reward for tidings; news. Original Word: בְּשׂוֹרָה

Matthew 24:14 And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come. Matthew 24:15 “So when you see standing in the holy place ‘the abomination that causes desolation,’ spoken of through the prophet Daniel—let the reader understand— Matthew 24:16 then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains.

62.339°N

Strong's Concordance #62 Abel Beth-maakah: From 'abel and bayith and Ma'akah; meadow of Beth-Maakah; a city in Northern Israel Original Word: אָבֵל בֵּית־מֲעַכָה

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 691 and 692 2 Samuel 20:14 [Sheba] had passed through all the tribes of Israel up to Abel of Beth-maacah; and all the Beerites assembled and followed him inside. 2 Samuel 20:15 [Joab's men] came and besieged him in Abel of Beth-maacah; they threw up a siegemound against the city and it stood against the rampart. All the troops with Joab were engaged in battering the wall, 2 Samuel 20:16 when a clever woman shouted from the city, "Listen! Listen! Tell Joab to come over here so I can talk to him." 2 Samuel 20:17 He approached her, and the woman asked, "Are you Joab?" "Yes," he answered; and she said to him, "Listen to wht your handmaid has to say." "I'm listening," he replied. 2 Samuel 20:18 And she continued, "In olden times people used to say, 'Let them inquire of Abel,' and that was the end of the matter. 2 Samuel 20:19 I am one of those who seek the welfare of the faithful in Israel. But you seek to bring death upon a mother city in Israel! Why should you destroy the Lord's possession?" 2 Samuel 20:20 Joab replied, "Far be it, far be it from me to destroy or to ruin! 2 Samuel 20:21 Not at all! But a certain man from the hill country of Ephraim, named Sheba son of Bichri, has rebelled against King David. Just hand him alone over to us, and I will withdraw from the city." The woman assured Joab, "His head shall be thrown over the wall to you." 2 Samuel 20:22 The woman came to all the people with her clever plan; and they cut off the head of Sheba son of Bichri and therw it down to Joab. He then sounded the horn; all the men dispersed to their homes, and Joab returned to the king in Jerusalem.

Strong's Concordance #339 i: From 'avah; properly, a habitable spot (as desirable); dry land, a coast, an island -- country, isle, region; non Original Word: אִי

152.129°W

Strong's Concordance #152 Adrammelek: From 'adar and melek; splendor of (the) king; "Adar is prince," also a son of Sennacherib Original Word: אֲדֹרָמֶלֶךְ

Strong's Concordance #129 Adami Hanneqeb: From 'adamah; earthy; a place on the border of Naphtali Original Word: אֲדָמִי

My Lord, the King of humanity, is in my heart: אֲדֹ רָ מֶלֶךְ אֲדָמִ יאִיאָ בֵלבֵּי ת־מֲעַכָ ה

Matthew 15:16 “Don’t you understand yet?” Jesus asked. Matthew 15:17 “Anything you eat passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer. Matthew 15:18 But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you.

"As President, I was never an 'officer of the United States' and I did not take an oath 'to support the Constitution of the United States'. Therefore, Section 3 of the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution doesn't apply to me, can't be applied to me, and can't prevent me from running for or holding office for my actions on January 6, 2021."- donald j. trump (November 27, 2023)

“If Jesus Christ came down and was the vote counter, I would win California, OK?” - donald j. trump

2020 California Presidential Election Results:Joe Biden: 11,110,639 votesdonald j. trump: 6,006,518 votes

Luke 16:10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:11 So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? Luke 16:12 And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own? Luke 16:13 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

“I’m not 80 and I’m not that close to 80.”- 78.5-year-old donald j. trump

"I'm not an old person. I'm very young and I'm in such perfect shape. I'm in such great shape." - 78.5-year-old donald j. trump

John 8:44You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1759 Lamentations 3:45 You have made us filth and refuse In the midst of the peoples.

Matthew 5:14 “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. Matthew 5:15 No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:17 “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose. Matthew 5:18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Matthew 5:19 So if you ignore the least commandment and teach others to do the same, you will be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But anyone who obeys God’s laws and teaches them will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.

"Ours was the first revolution in the history of mankind that truly reversed the course of government, and with three little words: 'We the People.' 'We the People' tell the government what to do; it doesn't tell us. 'We the People' are the driver; the government is the car. And we decide where it should go, and by what route, and how fast.

Almost all the world's constitutions are documents in which governments tell the people what their privileges are. Our Constitution is a document in which 'We the People' tell the government what it is allowed to do. 'We the People' are free. This belief has been the underlying basis for everything I've tried to do these past 8 years.

An informed patriotism is what we want. And are we doing a good enough job teaching our children what America is and what she represents in the long history of the world? Those of us who are over 35 or so years of age grew up in a different America. We were taught, very directly, what it means to be an American. And we absorbed, almost in the air, a love of country and an appreciation of its institutions. If you didn't get these things from your family you got them from the neighborhood, from the father down the street who fought in Korea or the family who lost someone at Anzio. Or you could get a sense of patriotism from school. And if all else failed you could get a sense of patriotism from the popular culture. The movies celebrated democratic values and implicitly reinforced the idea that America was special. TV was like that, too, through the mid-60s.

Anti-American MAGA Cult Book Bans...

So, we've got to teach history based not on what's in fashion but what's important -- why the Pilgrims came here, who Jimmy Doolittle was, and what those 30 seconds over Tokyo meant. You know, four years ago on the 40th anniversary of D-day, I read a letter from a young woman writing to her late father, who'd fought on Omaha Beach. Her name was Lisa Zanatta Henn, and she said, 'we will always remember, we will never forget what the boys of Normandy did.' Well, let's help her keep her word. If we forget what we did, we won't know who we are. I'm warning of an eradication of the American memory that could result, ultimately, in an erosion of the American spirit. Let's start with some basics: more attention to American history and a greater emphasis on civic ritual.

And let me offer lesson number one about America: All great change in America begins at the dinner table. So, tomorrow night in the kitchen I hope the talking begins. And children, if your parents haven't been teaching you what it means to be an American, let 'em know and nail 'em on it. That would be a very American thing to do.

The past few days when I've been at that window upstairs, I've thought a bit of the 'shining city upon a hill.' The phrase comes from John Winthrop, who wrote it to describe the America he imagined. What he imagined was important because he was an early Pilgrim, an early freedom man. He journeyed here on what today we'd call a little wooden boat; and like the other Pilgrims, he was looking for a home that would be free. I've spoken of the shining city all my political life, but I don't know if I ever quite communicated what I saw when I said it. But in my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still." - Ronald Reagan (1989 Farewell Speech)

The Tyrannical Offences of Anti-American Fascist and Wanna Be Dictator/Petty Tyrant, donald j. trump and his Anti-American Fascist Project 2025 co-conspirators:

"Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

"He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness of his invasions on the rights of the people.

"He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

"He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws…

"For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

"For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

"For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

"For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

"For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

"For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

"For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

"For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

"He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

"He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

"He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

"He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

"He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

"In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people."

In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,—That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

"We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."

Mark 14:36 “Abba, Father,” he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

Galatians 4:6 And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.”

Avicii, B & B from ABBA and Choir - We Write The Story Duration: 6:32 (392 seconds) Published: April 3, 2022 (93rd day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0u68gLXLAU T0u68gLXLAU (0, 68) TugLXLAU aglltuux 1+7+20+20+100+200+200+300=848. 848+0+68=916. 916+93=1009. 1009+392=1401.

Strong's Concordance #1401 gibbar: mighty one, warrior, man Original Word: גִּבָר

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1438 Psalm 24:8 Who is the King of glory?--the Lord, mighty and valiant, the Lord, valiant in battle.

Jacoo - A World Of Peace (Muffoxx Remix) Duration: 5:07 (307 seconds) Published: January 26, 2014 (26th day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYoIm4kQAFo bYoIm4kQAFo (4) bYoImkQAFo abfikmooqy 1+2+6+9+10+30+50+50+70+400=628. 628+4=632. 632+26=658. 658+307=965.

Strong's Concordance #965 bazaq: a lightning flash Original Word: בָּזָק

Matthew 24:27 For as the lightning flashes in the east and shines to the west, so it will be when the Son of Man comes.

2 Thessalonians 2:8 Then the man of lawlessness will be revealed, but the Lord Jesus will slay him with the breath of his mouth and destroy him by the splendor of his coming.

Headhunterz feat. Krewella - United Kids Of The World Duration: 3:40 (220 seconds) Published: November 26, 2013 (330th day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ceNFuBlggU _ceNFuBlggU bcefgglnuu 2+3+5+6+7+7+20+40+200+200=490. 490+330=820. 820+220=1040.

Strong's Concordance #1040 Beth Eden: "house of pleasure/delight," a place in Aram (Syria) Original Word: בֵּית עֵדֶן

John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:2 There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? John 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Icona Pop - We Got the World Duration: 3:18 (198 seconds) Published: November 18, 2012 (323rd day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWJsWh8c5WU SWJsWh8c5WU (8, 5) SWJsWhcWU chjssuwww 3+8+600+90+90+200+900+900+900=3691. 3691+8+5=3704. 3704+323=4027. 4027+198=4225.

Strong's Concordance #4225 machbereth: From chabar; a junction, a seam or sewed piece, coupling, something joined, place of joining, company, a pair; notebook Original Word: מַחְבֶּרֶת

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 1241 and 1242 Ezekiel 37:23 Nor shall they ever again defile themselves by their fetishes and their abhorrent things, and their other transgressions. I will save them in all their settlements where they sinned, and I will cleanse them. Then they shall be My people, and I will be their God. Ezekiel 37:24 My servant David shall be king over them; there shall be one shepherd for all of them. They shall follow My rules and faithfully obey My laws. Ezekiel 37:25 Thus they shall remain in the land which I gave to My servant Jacob and in which your fathers dwelt; they and their children and their children's children shall dwell there forever, with My servant David as their prince for all time. Ezekiel 37:26 I will make a covenant of friendship with them--it shall be an everlasting covenant with them--I will establish them and multiply them, and I will place My Sanctuary among them forever. Ezekiel 37:27 My Presence shall rest over them; I will be their God and they shall be My people. Ezekiel 37:28 And when My Sanctuary abides among them forever, the nations shall know that I the Lord do sanctify Israel.

Labrinth - Let the Sun Shine Duration: 3:01 (181 seconds) Published: November 27, 2010 (331st day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u98kNNtofFs u98kNNtofFs (98) ukNNtofFs ffknnostu 6+6+10+40+40+50+90+100+200=542. 542+98=640. 640+331=971. 971+181=1152.

Strong's Concordance #1152 Besodeyah: From cowd and Yahh with prepositional prefix; "In (the) counsel of Jehovah/the G-d of Israel"; an Israelite; in secret Original Word: בְּסוֹדְיָה

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 987, 988, and 989 Isaiah 61:1 The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me; He has sent me as a herald of joy to the humble. To bind up the wounded of heart, To proclaim release to the captives, Liberation to the imprisoned; Isaiah 61:2 To proclaim a year of the Lord's favor And a day of vindication by our God; To comfort all who mourn-- Isaiah 61:3 To provide for the mourners in Zion--To give them a turban instead of ashes,The festive ointment instead of mourning, A garment of splendor instead of a drooping spirit. They shall be called terebinths of victory, Planted by the Lord for His glory. Isaiah 61:4 And they shall build the ancient ruins, Raise up the desolations of old, And renew the ruined cities, The desolations of many ages. Isaiah 61:5 Strangers shall stand and pasture your flocks, Aliens shall be your plowmen and vinetrimmers; Isaiah 61:6 While you shall be called "Priests of the Lord," And termed "Servants of our God." You shall enjoy the wealth of nations And revel in their riches. Isaiah 61:7 Because your shame was double--Me cried, "Disgrace is their portion"--Assuredly, They shall have a double share in their land, Joy shall be theirs for all time. Isaiah 61:8 For I the Lord love justice, I hate robbery with a burnt offering. I will pay them their wages faithfully, And make a covenant with them for all time. Isaiah 61:9 Their offspring shall be known among the nations, Their descendants in the midst of the peoples. All who see them shall recognize That they are a stock the Lord has blessed. Isaiah 61:10 I greatly rejoice in the Lord, My whole being exults in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of triumph, Wrapped me in a robe of victory, Like a bridegroom adorned with a turban, Like a bride bedecked with her finery. Isaiah 61:11 For as the earth brings forth her growth And a garden makes the seed shoot up, So the Lord God will make Victory and renown shoot up In the presence of all the nations.

Those who love, fear, seek out, and turn to the almighty G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and who study the Living Word of the Abrahamic G-d know and understand that wisdom is female…

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1603 Proverbs 3:13 Happy is the man who finds wisdom, The man who attains understanding. Proverbs 3:14 Her value in trade is better than silver, Her yield, greater than gold. Proverbs 3:15 She is more precious than rubies; All of your goods cannot equal her. Proverbs 3:16 In her right hand is length of days, In her left, riches and honor. Proverbs 3:17 Her ways are pleasant ways, And all her paths, peaceful. Proverbs 3:18 She is a tree of life to those who grasp her, And whoever holds on to her is happy. Proverbs 3:19 The Lord founded the earth by wisdom; He established the heavens by understanding;

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1426 Psalm 16:7 I bless the Lord who had guided me; my conscience admonishes me at night. Psalm 16:8 I am ever mindful of the Lord's presence; He is at my right hand; I shall never be shaken. Psalm 16:9 So my heart rejoices, my whole being exults, and my body rests secure. Psalm 16:10 For You will not abandon me to Sheol, or let Your faithful one see the Pit. Psalm 16:11 You will teach me the path of life. In your presence is perfect joy; delights are ever in Your right hand.

IC/"I See" on Earth's sun, July 4th, 2023 - Independence Day https://suntoday.lmsal.com/sdomedia/SunInTime/2023/07/04/l0193.jpg

Guardians of the Galaxy - Ain't No Mountain High Enough August 1, 2014 (213th day) Duration: 3:19 (199 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuYmQ-WRMFE XuYmQ-WRMFE efmmqruwxy 5+6+30+30+70+80+200+900+300+400=2021. 2021+199=2220. 2220+213=2433.

Strong's Concordance #2433 chin: perhaps beauty; Hin (a Hebrew unit of liquid capacity equal to approximately 5.5 quarts (5 l)). Original Word: חִין

Guardians of the Galaxy 3 was released 5/5/2023.

Wry grin smiley face on Earth's sun May 5, 2023. https://suntoday.lmsal.com/sdomedia/SunInTime/2023/05/05/l0193.jpg

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

27th October >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time (B)

(Liturgical Colour: Green. Year: B(II))

First Reading Jeremiah 31:7-9 I will guide them by a smooth path where they will not stumble.

The Lord says this: Shout with joy for Jacob! Hail the chief of nations! Proclaim! Praise! Shout: ‘The Lord has saved his people, the remnant of Israel!’

See, I will bring them back from the land of the North and gather them from the far ends of earth; all of them: the blind and the lame, women with child, women in labour: a great company returning here.

They had left in tears, I will comfort them as I lead them back; I will guide them to streams of water, by a smooth path where they will not stumble. For I am a father to Israel, and Ephraim is my first-born son.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 125(126)

R/ What marvels the Lord worked for us! Indeed we were glad.

When the Lord delivered Zion from bondage, it seemed like a dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, on our lips there were songs.

R/ What marvels the Lord worked for us! Indeed we were glad.

The heathens themselves said: ‘What marvels the Lord worked for them!’ What marvels the Lord worked for us! Indeed we were glad.

R/ What marvels the Lord worked for us! Indeed we were glad.

Deliver us, O Lord, from our bondage as streams in dry land. Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.

R/ What marvels the Lord worked for us! Indeed we were glad.

They go out, they go out, full of tears, carrying seed for the sowing: they come back, they come back, full of song, carrying their sheaves.

R/ What marvels the Lord worked for us! Indeed we were glad.

Second Reading Hebrews 5:1-6 'You are a priest of the order of Melchizedek, and for ever'.

Every high priest has been taken out of mankind and is appointed to act for men in their relations with God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins; and so he can sympathise with those who are ignorant or uncertain because he too lives in the limitations of weakness. That is why he has to make sin offerings for himself as well as for the people. No one takes this honour on himself, but each one is called by God, as Aaron was. Nor did Christ give himself the glory of becoming high priest, but he had it from the one who said to him: You are my son, today I have become your father, and in another text: You are a priest of the order of Melchizedek, and for ever.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Gospel Acclamation John 8:12

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Alleluia!

Or: cf. 2 Timothy 1:10

Alleluia, alleluia! Our Saviour Jesus Christ abolished death and he has proclaimed life through the Good News. Alleluia!

Gospel Mark 10:46-52 Go; your faith has saved you.

As Jesus left Jericho with his disciples and a large crowd, Bartimaeus (that is, the son of Timaeus), a blind beggar, was sitting at the side of the road. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout and to say, ‘Son of David, Jesus, have pity on me.’ And many of them scolded him and told him to keep quiet, but he only shouted all the louder, ‘Son of David, have pity on me.’ Jesus stopped and said, ‘Call him here.’ So they called the blind man. ‘Courage,’ they said ‘get up; he is calling you.’ So throwing off his cloak, he jumped up and went to Jesus. Then Jesus spoke, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ ‘Rabbuni,’ the blind man said to him ‘Master, let me see again.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Go; your faith has saved you.’ And immediately his sight returned and he followed him along the road.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[the-firebird69]

Well Trump says not to but we don't see why his need to be alerted Joseph person going up and down the canal not doing much claimed he was lost. We said you're not supposed to take this unless you're going to work and not be completely counterproductive and felt found out just trying to get away and I couldn't knock the dirt off really sludge hit the side almost flipped it dumped it off and booked it at 80 for about 2 miles pulled over it was a clone and sat and talked find out it's more lock and who said they just leave us trapped here and they don't come to get us expect us to work our way out. So we didn't talk about it for a while and then his sacrificing the Giants. And even talking about taking over New Zealand from this idiot next door to our son just start doing it today because he's a slob. With all the groups about bja then they're down there doing it so you're up north fighting over the ships. And if I didn't Trump Mosley and that is fighting cork and we're fighting cork and the clones are fighting cork. The moving out and working other canals making money and they need to and yeah the money that got sister had was coded. Then it's important to know who she handed it to

Other things happening I kind of rare there's this talk about trying to get her son something because the air is becoming more clear up north the water is draining the breeze being removed that is debris. There's a lot of the talk. Let's see how it's happening and don't prove it but they see him doing it. And and I'll send this just seeing a commercial for one of our trucks it's not our version that since they're in storage they're less money and Jason is bringing them here and others to try and bring people in and yeah now bring them to their own dealerships. They went ahead at the dealership on son went to and sold five of the 5K XL or whatever they are and they're 2:30 cc's and people test drove and thought they were awesome they are awesome it's a great bike that's one that's 5200 Ken was amazed he wants to buy one and can't get financing just trying to win it but that's usually quite slow. Your son can't afford it now Buddy buy it right away if you just drove it. There's a lot of people in the shop now and they heard the real price was $5,200 and so they decide to use it the people who are buying it or more luck and they're fighting with the max over it the first thing they ask them is how do I lower the shocks. And they don't ask the idiot hey that's what they call him in the store I don't want to talk to that idiot please get them away from me. I'd rather talk to the clone. So try talking to him and the idiot was coming up in the clone put his hand in the way if they want to talk to me you need you to go over there like to a corner the guy says those are my people he says yeah you won't let it let them buy anything he's sitting there didn't remember the idea is trying it and it's working the clones are going after the morlock and for the bike the max out when you sold two z400 and they won't load too and they lowered it and it works real good what they say and it looks normal so very nice looking back when you lower it it looks a little awkward when it's high up there and there's a dirt bike so they like it now the KLX is selling like madness and that's a 233 Kawasaki and it's selling all over Florida and they competing but they used to Honda has a virgin it's like 240cc or 238 CC and it's a little bit more money like 5500 but it's selling like crazy the Kawasaki is well ahead it's a very reliable bike it doesn't overdo stuff it's not very avant-garde and it looks nice it's a wonderful green it looks like a small sport bike and ninja has a really big reputation. Right now Kawasaki's in the lead it's all 300,000 233 KLR or klx, and Honda sold about 200,000 of their 238 CC. And our son said that's what the scooter should be like those little good numbers for Florida what he says is I'd like to see the 125 with the same size tires and rims and they would change them out but they're not allowed to. Doesn't require much work if any will you have to know what you're doing and it's not cheap the new tires or the brakes and everything else and they're not transferable the connections are with rims about $500 so it doesn't make it cost effective if it's $3,000 you had 53500 and the spot 3800 and you're almost up to the 5000 and looks like the speedometer and stuff like that might not work right but people have been doing it for years. I put them on and immediately load the suspension 4 in and the seat is at 30 in it was on the 233 Kawasaki and it goes downwards it looks nice. It has enough horsepower to move our sun alone yes so he's thinking of looking at it to see if he can change out the wheels and rims cuz it doesn't look safe to him and they're not the wheels are too small and it's an idiotic thing to do.. we'll see if you can find out how to do it

Thor Freya

[fannish-karmiya]

Wei Wuxian’s Position in the Jiang Household

Fandom tends to mischaracterise Wei Wuxian’s position in the Jiang family greatly. A lot of people project more modern ideas about adoption onto his relationship with the Jiang siblings, and write as if he really is their sibling and only Yu Ziyuan’s abusive nature gets in the way of their bond.

This strikes me as a bit misguided. While adoption was practised in ancient China, it was mainly for the purpose of obtaining a male heir in the absence of one, or obtaining more daughters to marry off for alliances. Jiang Fengmian had no reason to adopt Wei Wuxian into the main family, and he didn’t. Wei Wuxian’s position in the household is far more nebulous than that, and honestly it’s hard to find an exact corollary, in Chinese history or in any culture, precisely because it was so messy and ill-defined.

A Companion to Upper Class Children

Wei Wuxian is the son of a servant of Yunmeng Jiang; it’s notable that Wei Changze is always referred to this way, rather than as a disciple. Wei Changze wound up leaving the sect in order to marry Cangse Sanren, and Jiang Fengmian considered them dear enough friends that when he heard they passed away, he spent years searching for their orphaned son. He wound up finding Wei Wuxian on the streets of Yiling and brought him home as his ward.

Wei WuXian was taken home by Jiang FengMian when he was nine.

Most memories from back then were already blurred. Yet, Jin Ling’s mother, Jiang YanLi, remembered all of them, and even told him quite a few.

She said that, after his father heard of the news that his parents both died in battle, he had always dedicated himself to finding the child that these past friends had left behind. After searching for a while, he finally found the child in Yiling.

(Chapter 24, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s clear from the start that beyond this sense of obligation to his old friends, Jiang Fengmian also had a role set out for Wei Wuxian: he wanted him to be a companion to his children, and Jiang Cheng in particular.

He encourages a friendship between them, insisting on a sleepover between the two a week into Wei Wuxian’s stay.

On the second day, Jiang Cheng’s puppies were given to someone else.

This angered Jiang Cheng so much that he threw a big tantrum. No matter how much Jiang FengMian comforted him gently, telling him that they should ‘be good friends’, he refused to talk to Wei WuXian. Quite a few days later, Jiang Cheng’s attitude softened. Jiang FengMian wanted to strike while the iron was still hot, so he told Wei WuXian to sleep in the same room as him, hoping that they’d grow fonder of each other.

[...]

That night, Jiang Cheng locked Wei WuXian outside his room, refusing to let him in.

[...]

Wei WuXian waited outside for a long time. When the door opened, before the joy could spread onto his face, he was bombarded with a pile of things being thrown out. The door banged shut again.

Jiang Cheng told him from inside, “Go sleep somewhere else! This is my room! You’re even gonna steal my room?!”

[...]

Standing outside, as Wei WuXian heard that dogs would come bite him, fear immediately bubbled within him. Twisting his fingers, he hurried, “I’ll go, I’ll go. Don’t call the dogs!”

Dragging behind him the sheets and blanket that were thrown outside, he ran out the hall. Having only arrived at Lotus Pier for a short period of time, he didn’t dare jump around yet. Every day, he obediently holed up in the places that Jiang FengMian told him to stay at. He didn’t even know where his room was, much less have the courage to knock on other people’s doors, scared that it’d disturb someone’s dreams.

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

After Jiang Cheng is worried about getting in trouble, he goes to Jiang Yanli for help, and she searches for Wei Wuxian.

But this was the first pair of shoes that Jiang FengMian bought him. Wei WuXian was too embarrassed to make him go out of his way to buy another pair, and so he said that they weren’t too big. Jiang YanLi helped him into his shoe and pressed the hollow tip, “It is a bit big. I’ll fix it for you when we get back.”

Hearing this, Wei WuXian felt somewhat uneasy, as if he did something wrong again.

Living in other people’s homes, the worst that could happen was to make trouble for the hosts.

Jiang YanLi put him onto her back and began to walk back, wobbling in her steps as she spoke, “A-Ying, no matter what A-Cheng said to you, don’t bother about him. He doesn’t have a good temper, so he’s always home playing with himself. Those puppies were his favorites. Dad sent them away, and so he’s feeling upset. He’s actually really happy that somebody’s here to be with him.”

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

Later, Wei Wuxian offers to cover for him, saying simply that he ran outside by himself because he was scared. In this one case it feels like a genuine instance of children showing solidarity and covering for each other’s little misbehaviours. But it also follows a pattern of Wei Wuxian doing this and making excuses, time and time again, for Jiang Cheng. I wonder if on some level, he already knew that his role in the household was in part to be a companion-servant to Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian normally never puts up with people treating him poorly or being arrogant; he constantly bites his tongue when Jiang Cheng does so around him. While they study at Cloud Recesses, Jiang Cheng frequently insults Wei Wuxian, who always just smiles and laughs it off.

Jiang Cheng humphed, “Him? He wakes at nine in the morning and sleeps at one during the night. When he wakes up, he doesn’t practice his sword or meditate; he goes boating, swims around, picks lotus seedpods, and hunts for pheasants.���

Wei WuXian replied, “No matter how much pheasants I hunt, I’m still number one.”

(Chapter 13, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng scolded with a darkened expression, “What are you proud of?! What is there to be proud of with this?! Do you think that it’s a glorious thing to be told by someone to get lost? You bring so much shame upon our sect!”

(Chapter 16, Exiled Rebels translation)

We never see Wei Wuxian excusing this sort of behaviour from any other character; he has no problem scolding Jin Ling for his arrogant attitude and telling him that he shouldn’t be imitating his uncle, after all! It’s only where Jiang Cheng is concerned that he does this, and honestly, even then he seems to be quite aware that Jiang Cheng’s behaviour is wrong; he simply accepts on some level that it’s his role in the household to put up with it.

He actually does, very gently, try to guide Jiang Cheng at times. In Lotus Seed Pods, for example, he tries to give Jiang Cheng advice on how to flirt with some of the maidens in Yunmeng and make friends:

Wei WuXian threw the seed pods toward the shore. It was a far distance, but they landed lightly in the women’s hands. He grabbed a few more and stuffed them into Jiang Cheng’s arms, shoving, “What are you doing, just standing there? Hurry up.”

After a few shoves, Jiang Cheng could only accept them, “Hurry up and do what?”

Wei WuXian, “You ate the watermelon too, so you also have to return the gift, don’t you? Here, here, don’t be embarrassed. Start throwing, start throwing.”

Jiang Cheng snorted again, “You must be joking. What’s there to be embarrassed about?” Whatever he said, however, even after all of the shidi began to throw seed pods, he still didn’t start to move. Wei WuXian urged, “Then throw some! If you throw some this time, next time you can ask them if the seed pods tasted good, and you’ll be able to make conversation again!”

[...]

Jiang Cheng was just about to throw one when he realized how shameless it was the moment he heard it. He peeled a seed pod and ate it by himself.

[...]

After a while of laughter, he turned around and looked at Jiang Cheng, who was sitting at the front of the boat eating seed pods with a long face. His smile gradually disappeared as he sighed, “Well, what an unteachable child.”

Jiang Cheng fumed, “So what if I want to eat alone?”

Wei WuXian, “Look at you, Jiang Cheng. Nevermind. You’re hopeless. Just wait to eat alone your whole life!”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

He even sighs rather disappointedly when Jiang Cheng refuses to take the hint; he knows that Jiang Cheng’s sullen behaviour is going to make him miserable down the line, but all of his gentle efforts to nudge him in a better direction have failed.

He also speaks with great awareness of Jiang Cheng’s flaws after the fight in the ancestral hall:

Wei WuXian reached out with one hand and massaged his chest, as if trying to break up the pent-up feeling inside his heart. A moment later, he blurted, “I knew Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have let us go so easily. That brat… How could this be?!”

[...]

Wei WuXian’s eyelids throbbed, “Every one of them. The brat’s been like this ever since he was young.He’ll say anything when he’s angry, no matter how bad it is. He gives up on all grace and discipline whatsoever. As long as it’d annoy whomever he’s against, he’d say it no matter what terrible insults he uses. After all these years, he hasn’t gotten better at all. Please don’t take it to heart.”

(Chapter 90, Exiled Rebels translation)

This is so interesting to me, because it really makes it clear that Wei Wuxian has always been aware of these flaws of Jiang Cheng’s. He hasn’t been viewing him through rose-coloured lenses or making excuses for him because he’s ‘family’. He puts up with Jiang Cheng’s behaviour because being his companion is one of his duties in the Jiang household. It may never have been directly stated, but there seems to be some unspoken understanding to this effect.

I honestly don’t know if there is any official role in history (in any culture, not just China) which perfectly correlates to this. In China a lady’s maid was expected to also be a close friend and companion to her mistress (in canon, see Bicao to Qin-furen and Yinzhu and Jinzhu to Yu-furen). In Europe an upper class woman would hire a lady’s companion, a woman from the lower fringes of the gentry who would serve as her companion in exchange for financial support.

I don’t know of any version of this role which involves two men. In general, this sort of role existed because upper class women were confined to the household by and large, and had very limited social spheres. Men, meanwhile, had much greater ability to meet with their peers and make friends. I almost feel like Wei Wuxian wound up being shoved into this role simply because even as a child Jiang Cheng was so unsociable that Jiang Fengmian didn’t know what else to do!

Wei Wuxian also at least once steps in and starts a fight in place of Jiang Cheng (essentially taking the fall for him). He does this when Jin Zixuan speaks disparagingly of Jiang Yanli at Cloud Recesses:

Jin ZiXuan asked in reply, “Why don’t you ask me how on Earth can I be satisfied with her?”

Jiang Cheng instantly stood up.

Pushing him to the side, Wei WuXian walked in front of him and sneered, “You sure think that you’re pretty satisfying, don’t you? Where did you get the guts to be all choosy here?”

[...]

Wei WuXian sighed, “… It’d be nice if shijie came. It’s fortunate that you didn’t hit him.”

Jiang Cheng, “I was going to. If you didn’t push me, the other side of Jin ZiXuan’s face would also be ruined.”

(Chapter 18, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s also very notable that Wei Wuxian is never shown having friends outside of Jiang Cheng’s social circle, despite what an outgoing and friendly person he is. Any time he expresses interest in someone for himself, as with Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng tries to nip it in the bud. Being unable to deter Wei Wuxian from Lan Wangji directly, Jiang Cheng instead tries to drive a wedge between them, constantly telling Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji hates him.

“Yeah,” Nie HuaiSang spoke, “It looks like he really hates you, Wei-xiong. Lan WangJi usually… No, he never does something so impolite.”

Wei WuXian, “He hates me already? I wanted to apologize to him.”

Jiang Cheng sneered, “Apologizing now? Too late! Like his uncle, he surely thinks that you are evil and unruly to the core, and didn’t bother to pay you any attention.”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng pulled him even closer, “It’s not as if you’re familiar with him! Don’t you see how much he hates you? You’re going to carry him? He probably doesn’t even want you a step closer to him.”

(Chapter 52, Exiled Rebels translation)

He even directly orders Wei Wuxian not to invite Lan Wangji to come visit him at Lotus Pier during the Lotus Seed Pod extra.

Wei WuXian, “Why are you so upset? My watermelon almost flew away! I was just being polite. Of course he wouldn’t come. Have you ever heard of him go anywhere by himself to have fun?”

Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s not only Lan Wangji he tries to steer Wei Wuxian away from; he also interrupts his conversation with Wen Ning at the archery competition:

Wen QiongLin was probably one of Wen Clan’s disciples furthest in bloodline. His status was neither high nor low, yet his personality was timid. He didn’t dare do anything and even his speech stuttered. Through much practice, he had finally conjured up the courage to enter the competition, but he blew it because he was too nervous. If he didn’t receive the right guidance, perhaps the boy would hide his true self more and more from now on and never dare to perform in front of other people again. Wei WuXian encouraged him a couple of times and touched on a few areas of growth, correcting some miniscule problems that he had when he was shooting in the garden. Wen QiongLin listened so attentively that he didn’t even turn his eyes away, nodding uncontrollably.

Jiang Cheng, “Where did you find so much nonsense? The competition is starting soon. Get into the arena right now!”

Wei WuXian spoke to Wen QiongLin in a serious tone, “I’ll be off to the competition now. Later, you can see how I shoot when I’m in the arena…”

Jiang Cheng dragged him away, short of patience. He spat as he dragged, “See how you shoot? Do you think that you’re a model or something?!”

(Chapter 59, Exiled Rebels translation)

Even when it comes to Wei Wuxian’s friendly flirtation with Mianmian, Jiang Cheng has something to say and tries to deter him from her:

Jiang Cheng, “The one that MianMian gave you? I didn’t.”

Wei WuXian exclaimed his regret, “I’ll find her for another one later.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, “You’re at it again. You don’t really like her, do you? The girl does look fine, but it’s obvious that she doesn’t have much background. Maybe she isn’t even a disciple. She seems like the daughter of a servant.”

Wei WuXian, “What’s wrong with servants? I’m also the son of a servant, aren’t I?”

Jiang Cheng, “How can you compare to her? Whose servant is like you, having your master peel lotus seeds for you and boil you soup. I didn’t even get to have some!”

(Chapter 56, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng really does seem to view Wei Wuxian in a very proprietary light; he’s not allowed to have any friendships which don’t exist under Jiang Cheng’s direct control.

The idea that Wei Wuxian was meant to be Jiang Cheng’s servant-friend is reinforced at its darkest when Lotus Pier falls: both Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian’s last words to Wei Wuxian are an instruction to protect Jiang Cheng.

One hand holding him, Madam Yu grabbed Wei WuXian’s lapels with her other hand as though to strangle him to death. She spoke through clenched teeth, “… You damn little brat! I hate you! I hate you more than anything else! Look at what our sect has gone through for your sake!”

[...]

Madam Yu, “Don’t make such a fuss. It’ll loosen up when you’re somewhere safe. If anyone attacks you on the journey, it’ll protect you as well. Don’t come back. Go to Meishan straight away and find your sister!”

After she finished, she turned to Wei WuXian and pointed at him, “Wei Ying! Listen to me! Protect Jiang Cheng, protect him even if you die, do you understand?!”

[...]

Jiang FengMian stared into his eyes. Suddenly, he reached out. Only after pausing in the air did he finally touch Jiang Cheng’s head, slowly, “A-Cheng, be well.”

Wei WuXian, “Uncle Jiang, if anything happens to you, he won’t be well.”

Jiang FengMian turned his eyes to him, “A-Ying, A-Cheng… you must look after him.”

(Chapter 58, Exiled Rebels translation)

Even Jiang Fengmian, who supposedly favoured Wei Wuxian, only gives him instructions as pertains to his own son; he doesn’t spare a single last word for Wei Wuxian himself.

A Lower Status Family Member

It wasn’t uncommon throughout human history, across many cultures, for wealthy families to take in relatives who were orphaned or had otherwise fallen on hard times. They tended to have a lower status than the main family; they lived with them and were still a part of their social sphere, but were not quite equal, either. The English term for this is ‘poor relation’.

Obviously, Wei Wuxian isn’t actually a blood relative at all. But his position in the Jiang household definitely has some similarities. He lives in the main house, eats meals with the family, attends school with the son... He is even on some conditional levels accepted into the gentry of cultivation society. But he isn’t a full equal member of the family, either.

The fact that he’s Jiang Fengmian’s ward, not a blood relative or adopted into the main family, puts him at even more of a disadvantage. It seems that Jiang Fengmian paid for all of Wei Wuxian’s expenses:

Wei WuXian took a bite, “Back then, I didn’t even have to pay when I ate at the dock. I grabbed whatever I wanted, ate whatever I wanted; ran after I grabbed, walked as I ate. A month later, the vendor would get the reimbursement from Uncle Jiang.”

(Chapter 86, Exiled Rebels translation)

While this is a bit of conjecture, I gather that he was given access to family money as if he was part of the clan, and could just charge Yunmeng Jiang whenever he shopped in Lotus Pier. Which is great so long as Wei Wuxian is accepted in Yunmeng Jiang...but as we see during the Burial Mounds settlement period, the moment that acceptance fades, Wei Wuxian is left out in the cold without a single coin. And because he isn’t a member of the family, it’s a far easier matter for him to be thrown aside, as he was when Jiang Cheng grew angry with him over his decision to protect the Wens.

Of course, Chinese families traditionally did share their wealth, and still do nowadays. Ideally, in a loving family, this is a positive and means they all support each other; but when that isn’t the case, it leaves the victims of abuse vulnerable.

In Wei Wuxian’s case, he has some of the benefits of being a member of the Jiang clan, without ever actually being a member. He can be cast aside at any time, and he is never afforded the same respect by wider cultivation society which an inner clan member would have.

I don’t believe the novel ever directly addresses Wei Wuxian’s acceptance into the guest lectures at Cloud Recesses in this light, but the donghua actually has a very interesting little exchange about it which takes place between Nie Huaisang and a relative of his:

“Wei-xiong is just a disciple from Yunmeng. Why could he come to Gusu to study?”

“Wei-xiong is the son of Jiang-zongzhu’s old friend. He has been treated as their own son.”

“Oh, I see. That explains why they don’t look like master and servant, they seem like brothers.”

(MDZS Donghua, Episode 3, Guodong Subs)

Wei Wuxian was only allowed to attend these lectures, which seem to mainly be for sect heirs and inner clan members, on the grace of being Jiang Fengmian’s ward (and probably to accompany Jiang Cheng). While this exchange is not from the book, we never do see or hear about any of the other students being outer disciples rather than members of the main clan. Here’s what the novel had to say about it:

In that year, aside from the YunmengJiang Sect, there were also the young masters from other clans, sent to study here from parents who heard of the reputation. The young masters were all around fifteen or sixteen. Because the sects all knew the others, although they weren’t close, they had seen others’ faces before. It was widely known that, although Wei WuXian’s surname was not Jiang, he was the leading disciple of the sect leader of the YunmengJiang Sect—Jiang FengMian, and also the son of his friend who had passed away. In fact, the sect leader regarded him as his own child. This, along with how youths were not as concerned with status and ancestry as elders, they were soon friends. Only a few sentences passed, and everyone started to call others older brothers or younger brothers.

(Chapter 13, Exiled Rebels translation)

And Wei Wuxian isn’t treated as an equal at school, either; when he and his friends get up to mischief, he’s frequently the only one punished. Nie Huaisang even notes that Lan Qiren seems to be far harder on him than the other students:

Nie HuaiSang spoke, “Why does it seem like old man Lan is especially strict towards you? He always directs his scoldings at you.”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

And we see Wei Wuxian being the sole one punished out of a group taken for granted by his friends multiple times:

As a result of cheating notes flying everywhere in the air, Lan WangJi suddenly attacked during the test, and caught a few initiators of the commotion. Lan QiRen exploded with anger, writing letters to the prominent clans to tell on them. He loathed Wei WuXian—in the beginning, although these disciples could hardly sit still, at least nobody started anything, and their buttocks were able to stick to their legs. However, now that Wei Ying came, the originally spineless brats were influenced by his encouragement, venturing out at night and drinking alcohol however they pleased. The unhealthy practices grew greater and greater. As he had expected, Wei Ying was one of the biggest threats to humanity!

Jiang FengMian replied, “Ying has always been like this. Please take care to discipline him, Mr. Lan.”

And so, Wei WuXian was punished again.

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

The boys were all cheating, but Wei Wuxian is the one punished most severely. This happens when he's caught sneaking alcohol, too (though to be fair to Lan Wangji, he probably was only punishing him, and himself alongside him, for being outside after curfew when he threw them off the wall).

Of course, Jiang Cheng didn’t dare to say that Wei WuXian was at fault. Thinking back, it was them who urged Wei WuXian to buy liquor. Each and every one of them should have been punished. He could only speak in a vague way, “It’s fine, it’s fine; it’s not that serious! He can walk. Wei WuXian, why are you still up there?!”

(Chapter 18, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s not entirely unreasonable for the one who gets caught to take the punishment (what’s he going to do, rat his friends out?) but their ready acceptance of this does fit into a pattern.

Jiang Cheng’s top was tied at his waist. Hearing his mother’s chastise, he hastily put it over his head. Madam Yu scolded again, “And you boys! Can’t you see that A-Li’s here? Who taught you brats to dress like this in front of a girl!?”

Of course, it was needless to think who led the group. Thus, Madam Yu’s next sentence, as usual, was “Wei Ying! Do you want to die!?”

[...]

He could still feel some pain in his back, so he tossed the paddles to someone else, sat down, and felt the stinging piece of flesh, “How unfair. Nobody else was wearing anything, but why was I the only one who got scolded and beaten up?”

Jiang Cheng, “Because you hurt the eye the most with no clothes on, for sure.”

[...]

Everyone nodded. Wei WuXian, “Thanks for the praise, you guys. I’m even starting to feel some goose bumps.”

The shidi, “You’re welcome, Da-Shixiong. You protect us every single time. You deserve even more!”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

While we know that Yu Ziyuan is an abusive person in general, she abuses Wei Wuxian far more harshly than anyone else, even the outer disciples. It’s made clear to us in Lotus Seed Pods that she whips him regularly over minor infractions:

Madam Yu was even angrier, “How dare you run! Come back right now and kneel!” As she spoke, she let loose her whip with a flip of her wrist. Wei WuXian felt a searing pain slash across his back. He loudly exclaimed, “Ow!” And almost tripped on the ground.

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

And that his back is heavily scarred from it:

He felt his back, covered in scars both old and new, and still couldn’t hold back the question he’d be thinking about, “How awfully unfair. Why is it that I’m the only one who gets beaten up, whenever something happens?”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

Rumours about this even made it outside of Lotus Pier; during their visit to the ancestral hall years later, Lan Wangji even states that he heard about some of it:

Lan WangJi had on an expression of understanding, “Kneeling as punishment?”

Wei WuXian mused, “How did you know? That’s right. Madam Yu punished me almost every day.”

Lan WangJi nodded, “I have heard of a few things.”

Wei WuXian, “It’s so famous that even people outside Yunmeng, even you Gusu people know—how could it be ‘a few things’? But, to be honest, in all these years, I’ve never seen a second woman whose temper was as bad as Madam Yu’s. She told me to go to the ancestral hall and kneel no matter how small the matter was. Hahaha…”

(Chapter 87, Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei Wuxian’s lower social standing is definitely a part of why Yu Ziyuan is able to abuse him so terribly and receive little to no censure for it. Everyone at Lotus Pier simply takes it for granted, with the exception of Jiang Yanli who at least does try to deflect her mother when she is angry with Wei Wuxian:

Yet, all of a sudden, someone’s quiet voice drifted by Madam Yu’s ear, “Mom, do you want to eat some watermelon…”

[...]

Jiang YanLi almost cried from her mother’s pinching, mumbling, “Mom, A-Xian and the others were hiding here to relieve the heat and I came here on my own. Don’t blame them… Do… Do you want some watermelon… I don’t know who gave them to us, but it’s really sweet. Eating watermelon in the summer is great for cooling down and quenching thirst. I’ll cut them for you…”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

She both tries to deflect her mother from her anger, and also outright states that Wei Wuxian and the other boys weren’t at fault. Jiang Yanli seems to be the only one at Lotus Pier who ever does this.

After the war, Wei Wuxian attends social events at Jiang Cheng’s side but is never quite treated as an equal, either. See how at the Flower Banquet, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue greet Jiang Cheng but not him:

Suddenly, a voice spoke, “Sect Leader Nie, Sect Leader Lan.”

Hearing the familiar voice, Wei WuXian’s heart jumped. Nie MingJue turned around again. Jiang Cheng came over, dressed in purple, hand on his sword.

And the person standing beside Jiang Cheng was none other than Wei WuXian himself.

He saw himself walk with hands behind his back, wearing all black. A flute in the shade of ink stuck to his waist, hanging down with crimson colored tassels. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Jiang Cheng, he nodded in this direction to show respect. Attitude slightly arrogant, he took on a profound, disdainful appearance. As Wei WuXian saw the stance of his younger self, the root of his teeth even cringed in soreness. He felt that he really was pretentious, and itched to just beat the hell out of himself.

Lan WangJi also saw Wei WuXian, who stood beside Jiang Cheng. The tip of his brows twitched ever so slightly. Soon afterward, his light-colored eyes returned to where they were, still looking forward in that composed way. Jiang Cheng and Nie MingJue nodded at each other with grave faces. Neither had anything unnecessary to say. After a hasty greeting, the two walked their separate ways. Wei WuXian saw his black-clothed self glance around as he finally saw Lan WangJi. He looked as if he was about to speak before Jiang Cheng came over and stood to his side.

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

They then proceed to talk about him and his lack of a sword behind his back, never having said a word to Wei Wuxian himself:

Nie MingJue’s gaze turned over again, “Why does Wei Ying not carry his sword?”

Carrying one’s sword was like wearing formal attire. In such gatherings, it was a non-negligible indication of etiquette. Those from prominent sects saw it as especially important. Lan WangJi responded in a lukewarm tone, “He had probably forgotten.”

Ning MingJue raised a brow, “He can even forget something like this?”

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

At Phoenix Mountain it also seems that Wei Wuxian is conditionally a member of the gentry, but not treated like an equal. Sometimes there are these more cheerful interactions:

Holding the flower, Lan WangJi seemed to be quite cold. His tone seemed cold as well, “Was it you?”

Wei WuXian immediately denied it, “No, it wasn’t.”

The maidens beside him spoke at once, “Don’t believe him. It was him!”

Wei WuXian, “How could you treat a good person like this? I’m getting angry!”

Giggling, the maidens pulled their reins and went to the formations of their own sects. Lan WangJi lowered the hand that he held the flower with and shook his head. Jiang Cheng spoke, “ZeWu-Jun, HanGuang-Jun, apologies. Don’t pay attention to him.”

Lan XiChen smiled, “That is fine. I will thank Young Master Wei’s kindness behind the flower in place of WangJi.”

(Chapter 69, Exiled Rebels translation)

But then he will be publicly disparaged and it is readily accepted by others. Jin Zixun first starts an argument with him by criticising Wei Wuxian for fighting Jin Zixuan, then turns the topic to Wei Wuxian’s having taken a third of the prey in the hunt.

Jin ZiXun, “Wei, just what what do you mean by going against ZiXuan so many times?”

[...]

Jin ZiXun sneered, “How is it presumptuous? How is any part of you not presumptuous? Today, in such an important hunt involving all of the sects, you really showed off your abilities, didn’t you? One third of the prey have been taken by you. You sure feel pleased, don’t you?”

[...]

He mocked, “But it’s only natural that you don’t think you’re in the wrong. It’s not the first time that Young Master Wei has disregarded the rules. You didn’t wear your sword in both last time’s flower banquet and this time’s hunt. It’s such a grand event, and you care nothing for courtesy. In what regard to you hold us, the people who are present with you?”

[...]

No disciple had ever dared say such lofty words in front of so many people. A moment later, as Jin ZiXun finally regained his composure, he yelled, “Wei WuXian! You’re only the son of a servant—how dare you be so bold!!!”

(Chapters 69-70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Naturally, Jin Zixun is able to weasel out of giving an apology, even though Jiang Yanli demands one. And guess who also takes a third of the prey, but this time without any censure?

Jin GuangYao, “In reality, not only did Young Master Wei keep a third of the prey to himself, our eldest brother has eliminated over half of the fays and the monsters as well.”

Hearing this, Lan XiChen laughed, “That is how Brother is like, after all.”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Never a Brother

As I’ve already mentioned, Wei Wuxian was never adopted by Jiang Fengmian, or adopted into the clan in general in even a distant way. And this nebulous ‘we’re letting you live with the main family as a charity, but you aren’t really one of us’ attitude also reflects in his relationship with Jiang Yanli.

I’ve already discussed how Wei Wuxian was more like a companion servant to Jiang Cheng than a brother. It’s also worth noting quickly that neither of them ever refers to the other as a brother. Wei Wuxian refers to Jiang Cheng as his shidi a few times, and Jiang Cheng never even refers to him as his shixiong (because Jiang Cheng views him as his servant, not as even a martial brother, I’d argue).

Only one member of the Jiang family ever does use familial terms to refer to Wei Wuxian: his shijie, Jiang Yanli. At Phoenix Mountain, when Wei Wuxian is being insulted by Jin Zixun, Jiang Yanli stands up and defends him, and states clearly that she considers Wei Wuxian a little brother:

The people who gathered around Jin ZiXun had on the same dark faces as he did. Yet, taking into consideration Jiang YanLi’s background, they didn’t dare talk back to her directly.

Jiang YanLi added, “Besides, hunting is hunting, so why bring the matter of discipline to the table? A-Xian is a disciple of the YunmengJiang Sect. He grew up with my brother and I, and so he’s as close as a brother is to me. Calling him the ‘son of a servant’—I’m sorry, but I won’t accept this. And thus…”

She straightened her back and raised her voice, “I hope that Young Master Jin ZiXun would apologize to Wei WuXian of the YunmengJiang Sect!”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

It doesn’t come through in the Exiled Rebels translation, but she actually refers to Wei Wuxian as her didi in this scene, not her shidi. She’s trying to draw a line and state that Wei Wuxian is a part of the family. However, no one takes her seriously, and shortly afterwards we see Jin-furen insisting that Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian shouldn’t be walking alone together because it would be inappropriate.

Jiang YanLi whispered, “That’s not necessary. I’d like to have a few words with A-Xian. He can walk me back.”

Madam Jin raised her brows, looking Wei WuXian up and down. Her gaze was somewhat cautious, as if she was feeling displeased, “A young man and a young woman—you two can’t stick together all the time if nobody else is present.”

Jiang YanLi, “A-Xian is my younger brother.”

[...]

Wei WuXian lowered his head, “Excuse my absence, Madam Jin.”

He and Jiang YanLi bowed at the same time. As they turned around to leave, Madam Jin grabbed Jiang YanLi’s hand and refused to let her leave.

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jin Zixuan also never treats Wei Wuxian the way one might a brother who is still angered with him over his past dismissive treatment of his sister. For example, see their argument at the Flower Banquet:

Before he could see how Lan WangJi reacted, a series of clamor suddenly came from the other end of the base. Wei WuXian heard his own raging shout, “Jin ZiXuan! Don’t you forget about what things you said and what things you did? What do you mean by this, now?!”

Wei WuXian remembered. So it was this time!

On the other side, Jin ZiXuan also fumed, “I was asking Sect Leader Jiang, not you! The one I was asking about was also Maiden Jiang. How is that related to you?!”

[...]

Jin ZiXuan, “Sect Leader Jiang—this is our sect’s flower banquet, and this is your sect’s person! Are you going to look after him or not?!”

[...]

...Jiang Cheng’s voice came, “Wei WuXian, you can just shut your mouth. Young Master Jin, I’m sorry. My sister is doing quite well. Thank you for your concern. We can talk about this next time.”

Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “Next time? There is no next time! Whether or not she’s doing well isn’t any of his business, either! Who does he think he is?”

He turned around and started to leave. Jiang Cheng shouted, “Get back here! Where are you going?”

Wei WuXian waved his hands, “Anywhere is fine! Just don’t let me see that face of his. I never wanted to come, anyway. You can deal with whatever’s here yourself.”

Having been abandoned by Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng’s face immediately clouded over.

[...]

Jiang Cheng stowed away the clouds on his face, “Don’t mind him. Look at how impolite he is. He’s used to such rude behavior at home.”

He then began to converse with Jin ZiXuan.

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng also quietly dismisses the notion of Wei Wuxian as a brother in relation to Jiang Yanli; when they visit to show him her wedding dress and she asks for a courtesy name, Jiang Cheng specifically says:

Jiang Cheng, “The courtesy name of my unborn nephew.”

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Not our nephew, mine.

Even the disastrous invitation to Jin Ling’s one month celebration is framed as a favour to an old shidi, not a family member:

Jin ZiXun, “Since you’ve heard it from him already, you should know that I can’t wait. Don’t tell me that you’ll disregard your brother’s life for the sake of Sister-in-Law’s shidi?!”

Jin ZiXuan, “You clearly know that I’m not that kind of person! He might not necessarily be the one who cursed you with Hundred Holes either. Why are you so rash? I was the one who invited Wei WuXian to A-Ling’s full-month celebration anyways. If this is the way you do things, where does that leave me? Where does it leave my wife?”

Jin ZiXun raised his voice, “It’s best if he doesn’t attend! What does Wei WuXian think he is—does he deserve to attend our sect’s banquet? Whoever touches him gets nothing but a splash of black! ZiXuan, when you invited him, weren’t you worried that you, Sister-in-Law and A-Ling would receive an irremovable stain for the rest of your lives?!”

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s clear that not only does wider society not consider Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs siblings...they themselves don’t, either. Wei Wuxian, after all, readily accepts that his relationship with them is over after he leaves the sect:

Before they parted, Jiang Cheng spoke, “We won’t see you off. It wouldn’t be good if someone saw us.”

Wei WuXian nodded. He understood that it wasn’t easy for the Jiang siblings to have come out here. If someone else saw them, all those things they did for the public to believe would be wasted. He spoke, “We’ll go first.”

[...]

He turned around, knowing that it’d be a long time before he’d get to see the people he was familiar with again.

But… right now, wasn’t he on his way to seeing people he was familiar with as well?

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Cast Aside

The way cultivation society treats Wei Wuxian when he is not with the Jiangs is also very revealing. Any level of respect he is given is contingent on his position in the Jiang household, and when they aren’t around that minimal respect fades away. Look at how disrespectfully he is treated when he approaches Jin Zixun to ask for Wen Ning’s location.

Wei WuXian didn’t make small talk either, getting straight to the point, “No thanks. I don’t.” He nodded slightly at Jin ZiXun, “Young Master Jin, could I please have a word with you?”

Jin ZiXun, “If you have anything to say, come after our banquet is over.”

In reality, he didn’t want to talk to Wei WuXian at all. Wei WuXian could see this as well, “How long do I have to wait?”

Jin ZiXun, “Probably around six to eight hours. Or maybe ten to twelve. Or until tomorrow.”

Wei WuXian, “I’m afraid I can’t wait for that long.”

Jin ZiXun’s voice was arrogant, “You’ll have to wait even if you can’t.”

Jin GuangYao, “Young Master Wei, what do you need ZiXun for? Is it a pressing matter?”

Wei WuXian, “Pressing indeed. It allows for no delay.”

[...]

Jin ZiXun, “Wei WuXian, what do you mean? You came for him? You aren’t standing up for a Wen-dog, are you?”

Wei WuXian wore a broad grin, “Since when is it your business whether I’d like to stand up for him or cut his head off? Just give him to me!”

At the last sentence, the grin on his face vanished. His tone turned cold as well. It was clear that he had lost his patience. Many of the people within Glamor Hal shivered in fear. Jin ZiXun felt his scalp tingle as well. Yet, his anger soon soared. He shouted, “Wei WuXian, you are too bold! Did the LanlingJin Sect invite you today? And you dare run wild here. Do you really think that you’re invincible, that nobody has the courage to confront you? Do you want to overturn the Heavens?”

Wei WuXian smiled, “You’re comparing yourself to the Heavens? Excuse my language, but your face is a little too thick, isn’t it?”

[...]

Just as he was about to rebut, sitting on the foremost seat, Jin GuangShan spoke up.

His voice seemed kind, “It’s not anything too important anyways. You youngsters, why lose your tempers over such a thing? However, Young Master Wei, let me be fair here. Barging in when the LanlingJin Sect is holding a private banquet is indeed inappropriate.”

To say that Jin GuangShan didn’t mind what happened at Phoenix Mountain would be impossible. This was also why he only smiled when Jin ZiXun bickered with Wei WuXian but didn’t stop them, and only spoke up when Jin ZiXun was at the disadvantage.

Wei WuXian nodded, “Sect Leader Jin, it was never my intention to disturb your private banquet. My apologies. However, the whereabouts of the people whom Young Master Jin took are still unclear. Just a moment of delay, and it might be too late. One of the group had once saved me before. I will definitely not sit back and watch. Please do not feel pressured. I will make amends for this at a later date.”

[...]

After a few laughs, he continued, “Sect Leader Jin, let me ask you something else. Do you think that, because the QishanWen Sect is gone, the LanlingJin Sect has all right to replace it?”

All was silent within Glamor Hall.

Wei WuXian added, “Everything has to be given to you? Everyone has to listen to you? Looking at how the LanlingJin Sect does things, I almost thought that it was the QishanWen Sect’s empire all over again.”

[...]

A guest cultivator on his right shouted, “Wei WuXian! Watch your words!”

Wei WuXian, “Did I say something wrong? Forcing living people to be bait and beating them up whenever they refused to obey—is this any different from what the QishanWen Sect does?”

Another guest cultivator stood up, “Of course it’s different. The Wen-dogs did all kinds of evil. To arrive at such an end is only karma for them. We only avenged a tooth for a tooth, letting them taste the fruit that they themselves had sown. What’s wrong with this?”

Wei WuXian, “Take revenge on the ones who bite you. Wen Ning’s branch doesn’t have much blood on their hands. Don’t tell me that you find them guilty by association?”

Another person spoke, “Young Master Wei, is it that they don’t have much blood on their hands just because you say so? These are only your one-sided words. Where’s the evidence?”

[...]

Jin GuangShan stood up as well, his face a mixture of shock, anger, fear, and hatred, “Wei WuXian! Just because… Sect Leader Jiang isn’t here doesn’t mean you can be so reckless!”

Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “Do you think that I wouldn’t be reckless if he were here? If I wanted to kill someone, who could stop me, and who would dare stop me?!”

[...]

“Young Master Wei really is too impulsive. How could he speak in such a way in front of so many sects?”

Lan WangJi spoke coldly, “Was he wrong?”

Jin GuangYao paused almost unnoticeably. He immediately laughed, “Haha. Yes, he’s right. But it’s because he’s right that he can’t say it in front of them, correct?”

Lan XiChen seemed as if he was deep in thought, “Young Master Wei’s heart really has changed.”

(Chapter 72, Exiled Rebels translation)

The only person at this banquet who speaks to Wei Wuxian respectfully is Jin Guangyao, a consummate manipulator who is also of a lower social status. Everyone else speaks to him dismissively, refusing to respect his request for Wen Ning’s location even though he states that Wen Ning helped him during the war. Wei Wuxian is extremely polite at the beginning of this conversation, and only slowly begins to lose his temper when Jin Zixun speaks rudely and Jin Guangshan decides to bring up the matter of the Yinhufu (Wei Wuxian is right in suspecting him of wanting to replace Qishan Wen, of course, and that it’s very bold of them to think they have the right to a spiritual tool of his just because...they’re rich?).

When the sects meet at Koi Tower to discuss the breakout at Qiongqi Path, no one considers Wei Wuxian as an independent agent who they might actually want to meet and negotiate with themselves. He is a wayward servant of Yunmeng Jiang who the sect leader has failed to keep in hand.

Jiang Cheng only spoke after a few moments, “What he did was indeed a bit too much. Sect Leader Jin, I apologize to you in place of him. If there’s any way at all to help the situation, please let me know. I’ll definitely compensate for things however I can.”

[...]

Jin GuangShan, “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei Ying is your right-hand man. You value him a lot. All of us know this. However, on the other hand, it’s hard to tell whether or not he actually respects you. In any case, I’ve been a sect leader for so many years and I’ve never seen the servant of any sect dare be so arrogant, so proud. Have you heard what they say outside? Things like how during the Sunshot Campaign the victories of the YunmengJiang Sect were all because of Wei WuXian alone—what nonsense!”

[...]

Lan WangJi sat with his back straight, speaking in a tone of absolute tranquility, “I did not hear Wei Ying say this. I did not hear him express the slightest disrespect towards Sect Leader Jiang either.”

[...]

The good thing was that, not long after he felt awkward, Jin GuangYao came to save the day, exclaiming, “Really? That day, Young Master Wei busted into Koi Tower with such force. He said too many things, one more shocking than the next. Perhaps he said a few things that were along those lines. I can’t remember them either.”

[...]

Jin GuangShan followed the transition, “That’s right. Anyhow, his attitude has always been arrogant.”

One of the sect leaders added, “To be honest, I’ve wanted to say this since a long time ago. Although Wei WuXian did a few things during the Sunshot Campaign, there are many guest cultivators who did more than him. I’ve never seen anyone as full of themselves as him. Excuse my bluntness, but he’s the son of a servant. How could the son of a servant be so arrogant?”

[...]

“In the beginning, Sect Leader Jin asked Wei Ying for the Tiger Seal with nothing but good intentions, worried that he wouldn’t be able to control it and lead to a disaster. He, however, used his own yardstick to measure another’s intents. Did he think that everyone is after his treasure? What a joke. In terms of treasures, is there any sect that doesn’t hold a few treasures?”

“I knew that something would eventually happen if he continued on the ghostly path—look! His killing intents are being revealed already. Killing indiscriminately those from our side just because of a few Wen-dogs…”

[...]

Jin GuangShan continued, “Sect Leader Jiang, you’re not like your father. It’s just been a couple of years since the reestablishment of the YunmengJiang Sect, precisely when you should be displaying your power. And he doesn’t even know to avoid suspicions. What would the Jiang Sect’s new disciples think if they saw him? Don’t tell me you’d let them see him as their role model and look down on you?”

He spoke one sentence after another, striking the iron while it was still hot. Jiang Cheng spoke slowly, “Sect Leader Jin, that’s enough. I’ll go to Burial Mound and deal with this.”

Jin GuangShan felt satisfied, speaking in a sincere tone, “That’s the spirit. Sect Leader Jiang, there are some things, some people that you shouldn’t put up with.”

(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)

This is very reminiscent of the way that Jin Zixuan would often turn around and say, ‘Why aren’t you controlling your servant?’ to Jiang Cheng whenever he had a dispute with Wei Wuxian over his treatment of Jiang Yanli.

When Jiang Cheng goes to the Burial Mounds and Wei Wuxian defects from Yunmeng Jiang in order to help the sect save face, Jiang Cheng treats this as a personal betrayal. He not only challenges Wei Wuxian to a duel but then announces that Wei Wuxian has betrayed Yunmeng Jiang and declared himself the enemy of cultivation society:

After the fight, Jiang Cheng told the outside that Wei WuXian defected from the sect and was an enemy to the entire cultivation world. The YunmengJiang Sect had already cast him out. From then on, no ties remained between them—a clear line was drawn. Henceforth, no matter what he did, they’d have nothing to do with the YunmengJiang Sect!

(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)

“Wei Wuxian has betrayed the sect, and publicly regards all cultivation sects as enemy! Yunmeng Jiang Sect hereby expels him, breaking all ties with him and drawing a clear line between us. Henceforth, no matter what this person does, it will have nothing to do with Yunmeng Jiang Sect!”

(Modao Zushi Radio Drama, Season 3 Episode 5, Suibian Subs)

Naturally, no one ever questions this or wants to hear Wei Wuxian’s side of the story. Jiang Cheng is a sect leader and Wei Wuxian his servant, and that is all cultivation society needs to know.

In Conclusion

Wei Wuxian was never really part of the Jiang family. The wider social view was that he was a servant who was lucky to be taken in by the family and allowed to live in the main house alongside the sect leader’s children. He’s accepted into cultivation society conditionally, but only as someone who remains a rank below everyone else.

This attitude isn’t just the wider social view which the family themselves disregard; they all play into it. Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Cheng both actively enforce it, Jiang Fengmian passively enforces it, and Jiang Yanli tries but fails to break through the social barriers between them.

[typical-simplelove]

Hey! Could you please do song blurb 125 with Freddie Andersen? 💛

125. Falling by Harry Styles (This one is kind of mean, so I'm sorry about that.)

Claudia's Debut Season of Heartfirst Writing

This was the last-ditch effort to try to save your marriage. Never did you or Freddie think that it would get this bad. When you got married two years after dating for just over a year and a half, it all made sense. Neither of you cared about your parents or your friends telling you it was too soon because, after all, what did they know? They didn't know about the easy, comfortable strolls around the park. They didn't know about the late-night talks with ice cream and cookies. They didn't know about the quiet talks underneath the blankets as you shared your fears and hopes for the future. At the time, it made sense to marry Freddie. 

Until it didn't. 

Until the little things that you swore were reasons you loved Freddie for started to aggravate you. Until you focused on those little things and wondered why were you with this man? Until the small pet peeves you had were all draped over Freddie, and it turned out he was one giant pet peeve. He was filled with all the pet peeves you have. 

It didn't make sense anymore. You couldn't remember why you loved him. That's when you realized, you fell out of love. There wasn't anything left there. What was once a young, beautiful, growing love was no longer love. It was a call for help and giant red flag. 

All those talks and strolls around the park and easy afternoons were great while they lasted. You and Freddie fell out of sync with each other somewhere down the line, and now, you and Freddie are staring at a huge pile of divorce papers. 

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. You and Freddie were supposed to take on the world and show them that you didn't have to follow the normal way that society did things. You and Freddie were supposed to show them all that all that matters was the people in the relationship. All outside opinions weren't supposed to matter. And they didn't. You and Freddie knew that the moment you said yes to getting married, it was right. There were no second glances or doubts. It was right, and it made sense. 

Unfortunately, it didn't make sense anymore. 

There was no lying about it. Whatever made sense about your marriage a year ago no longer applied. You and Freddie had both grown astronomically. A growth that didn't include the other. A growth that meant that you and Freddie couldn't make this marriage work. 

Freddie insisted on one last effort to try to make it work. He suggested couples therapy, so you both went. Now, though, you're sitting in a coffee shop after, knowing that couples therapy wasn't going to work. 

"I'm sorry, Fred," you say, gripping your coffee mug. 

"Don't be," he says. "I went into it knowing that it might not be for us." 

Nodding, you sigh. "Maybe we're not meant to be forever." 

"Maybe not," he replies. In one sip, Freddie finishes his drink before getting. "I'll sign the papers and mail them to you. Take as much time as you need to find a new place and move."

"Okay," you murmur. 

"No matter what," Freddie continues, "I don't regret what we did or what we had."

He doesn't wait for you to reply before he walks out of the coffeehouse. As you once heard, sometimes, people are in your life for a season, for a moment, or for a lifetime. For you and Freddie, you were in each other's lives for a season, and unfortunately, that season has come to an end way too soon. 

Claudia's Debut Season of Heartfirst Writing

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 125: Accidental Bonding (Part One)

When Harry woke up, his head was pounding and his heart was racing, he thought he might vomit. He staggered over to the floo to firecall in to work.

Robards answered, "Junior Auror Potter, good morning."

"Hello, sir," he said before his stomach heaved and he had to turn away and take a few deep breaths to steady himself. "I need to call in sick, sir. I think I've got a virus."

"What are your symptoms?" he asked curiously.

"Really bad headache, it feels like my eyes are going to pop out of my head; elevated pulse; and nausea."

His brow furrowed, "Who was your training partner yesterday?"

"Malfoy, sir," he said, his gut twisting uncomfortably.

"Where did you go?"

"Excuse me-" he broke off and held up a hand, turning away from the fireplace to try to get his bearings as his stomach tried to eject itself through his esophagus. After a moment he turned back, "We were sent to that old antique shop, sir," he said as quickly as he could manage.

"You're going to need to go to St. Mungo's."

"I don't-"

"That's not a request, Potter. Go there now and I'll be sending Junior Auror Malfoy right along."

"But-" Harry started.

"No buts, Malfoy called in with the same symptoms and I'm not taking any chances," and without another word he ended their connection.

With a sigh and one more longing look at his bed, Harry headed to St. Mungos.

(Read more below the cut)

They ended up putting Malfoy in the same room as him since they were there at the Ministry's behest and with the same symptoms. Harry tried not to look at him, imagining that getting irritated would only worsen his ever growing headache. Malfoy must have felt the same because he was less annoying that usual.

Healer Kenner, a stern looking woman who reminded Harry very much of Professor McGonagall, ran diagnostic test after diagnostic test and then finally said, "Well, you're bonded."

"What?" Harry yelped.

Malfoy groaned, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"Language, Auror Malfoy," she tsked.

"Apologies."

With a short nod, she continued, "The good news is that most of your discomfort can be alleviate by simple physical contact."

"And the bad news?" Harry asked wryly.

"There's nothing we can do to break the bond."

"What?" Malfoy spat.

"Surely, there's something-" Harry started.

She shook her head, "I'm afraid not. But it's not permanent," Healer Kenner added. "It'll only last a month."

"A month?!" Harry asked incredulously.

"Well it's certainly better than forever," Malfoy snarked, rubbing his hands over his face.

Harry wondered if Malfoy's head hurt as much as his did. He certainly hoped so.

But before he could say anything, Healer Kenner raised her wand and cast a spell the dragged their beds across the floor to the other. "Hold hands," she instructed.

He crossed his arms over his chest and Malfoy let out a pitiful groan.

"The sooner you do it, the sooner you'll start to feel better," she chided. "Just be glad that this particular bond only wants prolonged physical contact."

Harry shuddered, he'd heard the stories about some of the more archaic bonds.

"Oh, for Circe's sake," Malfoy grumbled as he reached across the space between them and clasped Harry's forearm in his hand.

A sense of relief hit immediately, Harry groaned as a weight lifted off his chest and the headache started receding.

"It will be faster if you both actively participate."

At this point, as the waves of relief were rolling through him, Harry was willing to do anything. He flipped over his hand, offering it to Malfoy.

The other man slid his hand down Harry's arm, as though he was afraid to break contact with him, and clasped Harry's hand in his.

She was right, his world seemed to right itself as they sat there holding hands and he let his head drop back against the bed as he took full, deep breaths for what felt like the first time in ages.

"How long do we have before it starts to feel like that again?" Malfoy asked, which Harry could admit was a good question.

She hummed, "I'd say two hours maximum before the discomfort starts affecting the way you function." After a short pause, Healer Kenner added, "You're going to probably want to spend nights together."

"Can't we just see each other in the morning?" Malfoy asked.

And Harry couldn't help but agree, "This wasn't that bad," he added. "And now that we know-"

She shook her head, "Now that your bodies are acknowledging the bond, the effects will set in quicker."

"Great," Harry grumbled. "Just bloody fantastic."

This day just kept going from bad to worse. He had no idea how he was going to tell everyone that he had an accidental bonding with Draco sodding Malfoy.

----------------

They argued about whose house to stay in overnight and finally decided to flip a coin for it. Draco won.

And that was how Harry found himself standing with a duffel bag outside of a surprisingly cute little house, knocking and waiting to be let in.

"Potter," Malfoy greeted as he opened the door to let him in.

And Harry wondered if he was feeling the bond tugging at his skin, too, if the bond was making his gut clench and making him feel irritable and like there was something crawling under his skin. "Can I-?" he started through gritted teeth, reaching a hand toward Malfoy but stopping a few inches away.

Malfoy nodded and closed the distance between them.

The moment he touched the other man his body sagged with relief, swaying back against the doorway.

After a moment, Malfoy released his hand and gestured toward the rest of his house, "Come in," he said. "It's nothing fancy," Malfoy said, "But it's home and it's not something that my family owned."

Harry wasn't quite sure what to make of that statement, so he just focused on looking around the house as Malfoy gave him the tour. Malfoy was right, it wasn't anything fancy but it was surprisingly cozy. It was nothing like Harry had expected; he'd imagined black leather and green decor, dark and broody. But the house was the opposite, the closest anything got to Slytherin green was the sea form green accents in the bathroom. "You have a nice house," Harry said.

"You needn't sound surprised," Malfoy said with a sniff, "I have excellent taste," he added as he opened the door to the bedroom.

The bedroom had pale blue walls and cream bedding, the dresser and wardrobe were both a dark wood that Harry couldn't identify. All in all, it was a nice room, very relaxing.

"You can use this drawer," Malfoy said, flicking his wand at the second drawer to open it, "And I cleared a space for you in the closet."

"Err, thanks," Harry said.

He rolled his eyes, "Don't mention it. I know it's hard for you to believe but I can actually be considerate when the mood strikes."

Before Harry could reply, Malfoy left the room, calling over his shoulder, "I'm making salmon and rice for dinner. If you don't like it you can make something for yourself."

This wasn't quite what he'd expected, Malfoy wasn't quite what he expected, he thought as he put his clothes away. Maybe Malfoy wasn't who Harry thought he was.

------------

Nope. Malfoy was precisely who Harry thought he was. The two of them had spent the entire night arguing about literally everything: about using coasters (when they were wizards and removing water stains was no big deal), about which clothes Harry should have hung or left folded, about the proper way to do the dishes, about their friends and the kind of people they were, and dozens of other things that made Harry want to tear his hair out.

They were still bickering when they went to bed because Malfoy had the nerve to critique the way Harry brushed his teeth and to demand that Harry wash his face before he get into bed.

"I'm not letting the oil in your skin damage my pillowcases!"

"My skin doesn't damage pillowcases," Harry snapped. "I have pillowcases too, you know, and none of them have oil stains."

"Potter wash your fucking face or I am covering your pillow with a paper bag," Malfoy threatened. "It's not a fucking hard request. It will take you literally two minutes."

"Fine!" Harry shouted, throwing his hands in the air and returning to the bathroom.

When he came out, Malfoy was already on the left side of the bed, sitting with his back against the headboard, reading a book. "Was that so hard?" he drawled.

"Oh fuck off," Harry grumbled as took off his glasses and he threw himself down on the right side of the bed, punching a pillow for the sheer pleasure of punching something.

"You're such a bloody neanderthal," Malfoy grumbled without looking up at Harry.

"Shut up!" Harry finally erupted. "For Merlin's sake just shut up and I will, too."

Malfoy glanced over at him, looking unperturbed which honestly made Harry even more frustrated.

"It's going to take me ages to fall asleep because I'm so fucking irritated."

After a moment, Malfoy reached over and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "It's the bond," he said quietly. "We're not touching often enough and it's making us lash out."

"I don't think we need any help in that department," Harry grumbled but he could admit that he was feeling better already.

Malfoy chuckled, "You're right about that, I suppose."

He shook his head and reached up to cover Malfoy's hand with his own and expedite the process. "This does help though," he said with a yawn.

The other man hummed, "I think we should agree now that whenever either of us wakes up over night that we'll reach out and touch the other so we can get as much sleep as possible."

Through a yawn Harry murmured, "Sounds reasonable." He closed his eyes, surprised at how tired he was feeling all of the sudden. "Merlin, I'm knackered."

"Do you mind if I leave the light on to read for a while?" Malfoy asked.

He opened one eye to look at Malfoy's blurry face, "That's nice of you to ask," he said. "I don't mind."

"Are you certain?"

He nodded. "Night."

"Good night," Malfoy replied, going back to his book but leaving his hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry drifted off, asleep in minutes.

------------

When Harry woke up again, the sun was peaking in through the curtains and he felt fantastic. He blinked open his eyes and realized that at some point during the night he and Malfoy had shifted, drifting until Harry's front was pressed tight against Malfoy's back, his body curled around the other man's.

He really ought to move.

But he was just so comfortable and his body was warm and loose and he just couldn't bring himself to move away.

It wasn't long before Malfoy started to shift, waking up slowly and Harry panicked. He did the only thing that he could think of and feigned sleep.

Malfoy arched and stretched, pressing his body back against Harry's for a long, delicious moment before he jumped, seeming to realize what he was doing. Then he held very still like he was waiting for something and Harry wondered if he was waiting for him to say something. When Harry didn't move and continued pretending to sleep Malfoy carefully withdrew himself and climbed out of bed to head to the loo.

Harry laid there for a long moment, missing the warmth of the other man's body, missing the way they'd seemed to fit together already.

Just the bond, he assured himself. This was all just the bond.

Right?

-----------------

Ahhh friends, I'm sorry. I hate to leave you like this but this one's going to need a part two. This girl is exhausted and this fic(let) is taking way longer than anticipated to write. I'll get part two written and posted tomorrow. <3 Lots of love, C

Part 2

Day 124: Joke | Day 126: Arranged Marriage

[chosenimagines]

-BLUSHY-

01 Damn! You are telling me this what I could have had?!

02 Can’t you come with me?

03 Show me that you are mine.

04 Are you checking me out?

05 Just that I have said it. That wasn’t was I had in mind when I said fuck you.

06 Stop it! We’re in public.

07 What is this?

08 Call me that again

09 20? We are done in 10! Turn the timer on.

10 Did you think of me?

11 I think we just found our new kink

12 Leave it on! You look hot

13 You’re sure? I mean you’re sure about… about here?

14 Your laugh is beautiful but I’d rather here you scream my name

15 Princess on the streets nasty little freak in my sheets

16 You are too loud

17 I thought you’d never ask

18 Just put it in!

19 If you want that you have to make me

20 yOu DidN’T lOcK tHe dOoR?!

21 I want them not only to know but to see that you are mine

22 Is that obvious?

23 You’re such a fucking tease

24 Say it out loud! Please I want to hear it

25 It’s 2 in the morning!

26 You just need to ask

27 I’ll take care of that

28 Now you’re not talking beg, are you? Pathetic little thing…

29 You had what where?!

30 Pull my hair

31 You will forget where you are because of what I will do to you

32 Good girl/boy

33 If you insist…

34 My thoughts are for 18+ people and nothing for minors

35 “I didn’t mean this when I said take what’s yours-“ “Yeah I know. But can I take you know?”

36 A freaky, nasty little thing…

37 Were you masturbating?

38 Intimate? For god’s sake! Just tell me to fuck you if you want to cum!

39 I never noticed how beautiful filthy words could be

40 I want to ruin this so badly…

41 Against what? You are crazy!

42 Someone could see/hear/catch us!

43 Who said gentle? Take me!

44 Shut up and come here

45 You taught me that

46 It looks good on you

47 I like it when you talk dirty

48 Your wish is my command and I am more than happy to do that

49 It’s your fault that I am going to fuck you until you beg me to stop

50 Don’t worry, I’m all yours

51 Wanna join?

52 Let’s do it here.

53 First one to make a sound looses

54 Damn, I didn’t expect this from you!

55 I want you to take me like I am yours.

56 Fuck?

57 Sit but don’t move / Put it in but don’t move

58 Oh you wanna bet?

59 Did I motherfucking stutter?

60 I don’t think God approves this, Kitten.

61 You are trying to make me a [real] daddy/mommy?

62 Use me!

63 I can take more than you know

64 I knew you could put that mouth to good use

65 I was waiting all day for this

66 Lift your skirt, babe

67 Seeing you between my legs is so fucking hot

68 Come home

69 It was your idea!

70 Right here right now.

71 Don’t forget whose dick/pussy this is between your legs!

72 I know you can be louder than this pathetic sound

73 I want you to scream so loud your neighbors remember who fucks you

74 Be quiet! You are getting railed in public

75 Like what you see? / Enjoying the view?

76 "I'm hard." "Sounds like a personal problem"

77 I've fucked you all night! How are you still horny?

78 Such dirty words from such a pretty mouth

79 It was kinda cute actually

80 This is all for you

81 Don’t be gentle!

82 How do you feel about adding another person to the mix?

83 I can't take it anymore

84 You'd better be quiet or everyone's gonna know what a naughty slut you are

85 Don’t. You. Dare.

86 Look at you, grinding against everything, you're really desperate for it. Aren't you?

87 Mmm, good morning to you too.

88 Is this okay?

89 Just pull the car over!

90 Give it up

91 Aww, is my little princess/prince getting shy?

92 Just let me finish this/this level and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times

93 Forget the bed. Let's fuck right here.

94 Oh god, how can you manage to switch from cute to sexy in under a second?

95 You bought me lingerie?

96 You're a virgin? How?

97 Shut up for once in your life

98 We have to make this quick.

99 Give me attention PLEASE

100 I did not see that coming

101 Are those my boxers?

102 We are not “just friends” and you fucking now it

103 I am begging you to never stop

104 I am wearing your favourite right now

105 “I am hard.” “Sounds like a personal problem”

106 If you put your bathing suit/trunks to the side nobody will notice

107 I can’t wait to be on my knees for you later.

108 I need you! Right here. Right now.

109 You do remember where we are right now, don’t you?

110 Come here! You can sit on my lap until I’m done woring

111 I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you moan… what a fucking pretty melody!

112 Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? ‘Cause if you did we’re having sex. Right now.

113 Oh do you like that? Like being in control?

114 You started without me

115 I want you to tell what you dreamed about so I can do it to you in a sec

116 You could be wearing a trash bag and I’d still want to fuck you

117 Fuck soft! I want to be fucked.

118 I just want your cock

119 I am obviously a whore

120 Are you such a needy kitten?

121 Daddy?!

123 God this is hot!

124 Now I need holy water over my body

125 Sugar daddy

[fleur2pint]

125 and 128 for cissa 👀

anon: 125 and 128 for cissa 👀

125. “i want you to touch yourself” + 128. “bend over and spread your legs”

warnings: female masturbation so smut

a/n: THIS WAS ACTUALLY SO DIFFICULT BUT I TRIED! i also decided to go with a different version of narcissa i think some of you might enjoy it very much

“I want you to touch yourself,” Narcissa said as she swung her leg over the other in her chair. You looked up at her from your clasped hands that laid in your lap. You furrowed your eyebrows at her in confusion. “I’m sorry, what?” You question. “You heard me,” She said, “Show me how I make you feel.”

You and your boss, Narcissa, have had a secret thing for a while now. At first, it started as a small partnership, then to a friendship, then to a bordering relationship. But to make a long story short, telling people you’re dating an employee is not the best for your career. Especially when you’re dominating others with your business and on top of that you’re a strong, independent woman. It wasn’t a good move.

Because of all these things, you had to be in the shadows of her. You had to be the nobody for hours on end. It always ended the same way. Heading to a bar after work for a couple of drinks and conversations, getting in her expensive car, driving to her multi-million dollar home, and making love until your heart’s content.

But sadly, it all happened in phases. There would be a high point where you felt like you and her against the world, but then she would entirely ignore you for weeks. Then the cycle started again. It always left you confused, maybe even hurt, but you would never admit to that. You were currently going through a rough patch with her. That’s why her request hit you so much more differently.

“Narcissa, not now, please.” You said quietly. She leaned back in her chair as she tossed her pen onto her desk. “Oh baby, I don’t think you have much of a choice,” She laughed, “And you clearly look flustered. I mean look at you, squirming in your seat when I talk. It’s quite adorable.” You didn’t know what to say to her, how to respond to her forwardness. “Would you look at that, you’re also wearing that skirt I love. So this shouldn’t be hard.” She smirks.

You shook your head at her, confidently maintaining eye contact. She couldn’t be serious. Surely she was just trying to get under your skin. “Narcissa, can we please just-” “No.” She said sternly. You took a deep before scooting your ass towards the end of the chair. I can’t believe I’m doing this, you thought, I guess I really am her bitch.

You pulled your black, pencil skirt up your thighs. You breathed out as your hands trailed down to your panties, hooking them with your fingertips and pulling them down your legs setting them on your stomach. Narcissa watched with her bottom lip trapped between her lips. You hooked your legs around the arm rest of the chair you sat in, showing the woman opposite of you your glistening folds.

Timidly, you dipped your fingers into your dripping cunt, collecting your fluids, and dragging them up to your clit. The slightest touch to the bud makes you jump with a gasp. You immediately rub small circles into the bud, letting the pleasure roam your body. Narcissa hummed as your heavy breathing turned into light moans. You looked up into Narcissa's eyes, hers fixated on your hands between your legs. You sighed, letting your eyes flutter shut. You recline your head back against the chair in your slouched position, totally forgetting Narcissa was sitting right in front of you, forgetting where you even were.

“What are you thinking about, beautiful?” Narcissa said, her voice making you jump from the rudeness of her question. “Me I’d hope,” She urged, “I practically own you after all.” She rose up from her chair, taking slow strides around the desk to meet you in your spot. You continue doing as you're told, touching yourself for her and her only. Your whines grow louder and needier, her teasing you a long way to your possible orgasm. Things were going smoothly for you till Narcissa’s slender fingers gripped your wrist, pulling it away from your clit. She looked down at you with a warm smile as your face flooded with confusion and anger.

“Bend over and spread your legs, on the desk if you will.”