#Aos incorrect quotes

[adaisybyanyothername]

Simmons: I don't want to be too much of a bother, but could you do me a small favor?

Fitz, Skye/Daisy, Coulson, Bobbi, May: I'd literally die for you, but go on.

[alexblakehusband]

*meanwhile in aos s1*

daisy/skye: soooo when do i get my own gun?

may: i wouldn’t trust you with a nerf.

[backgroundagent3]

Me: Is that a SHIELD agent I see?

SHIELD agent: *Puts on glasses*

Me: Nevermind, my apologies random civilian.

[ex1ra-1erres1ial]

*Skye and May, watching Ward from a distance*

Skye: that's the guy I have a crush on

Skye: thoughts?

May:

May: and prayers, girl

[chosetobethisway]

Skye: May, you have trust issues

May: I don't believe you

[trek-tracks]

Kirk (yelling over the communicator): Scotty, beam us back, quickly! There's a lion storm!

Scotty: Aye, Captain, but don't you mean an ion storm?

(a loud roar in the background)

Kirk: no

[leonsgotit]

Jim: YOU LYING, CHEATING, PIECE OF SHIT!

Bones: oh yeah? YOU’RE the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do! WELL, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Jim: I’M LEAVING AND I’M TAKING SPOCK WITH ME

Spock, picking up the monopoly board: I believe it would be wise to stop playing

[onnahu]

Batkids in Metropolis

For context: they have sunglasses on, bc it's Metropolis, and they're fucking Gothamites AND bats so...

Cass: It's so...

Cass: It's so bright here.

Duke: Right? How can anyone live here?

Steph *putting on second pair of sunglasses*: Oh man, it gives me flashbacks.

Tim: Wtf, Steph. Flashbacks to what?

Jason: To death. Duh.

*Steph and Jason high-five*

Dick *just wanted a break from Bruce's bullshit*: Sometimes I hate you so much. Why do everything have to be a death joke to you?

Steph: I don't know what you're talking about...

Steph: I'm dead sirious.

Duke: 1/5, unoriginal.

Steph: Hey!

Damian's home bc he's grounded. He skipped school again. Jason and Tim paughed at him and he's now plotting revenge.

[luxthestrange]

LMK Incorrect quotes#103 5 hours

Great+1000 Peepaw Ao Lie Meeting baby mei...

Ao lie*Has been staring at baby Mei in his arms for five hours*...

Y/n*Came to check on him*Stringbean are you okay?-

Ao lie*Looking up at you, to show his nonstop flowing tears*I only had Mei for a day n a half...but if anything happen to her...i kill everyone in this world and then myself-

Y/n:...Damn even me and our lil' monkeys?

Ao lie*Nuzzling his cheek against a sleepy mei* You three would join me on my crusade of contempt

Y/n:...Thats actually very true-

We love our tiny spunky babygirl in this house...

[autism-autobot]

Ao Lie: Your elemental power is: ✨️GREEN✨️

Mei: I'm sorry, what was that?

Ao Lie: ✨️GREEN✨️

Mei: Okay, so, just to recap...

Mei: Ice (Macaque temporarily)

Mei: Water (Sandy)

Mei: Earth (Sun Wukong)

Mei: Fire (Red Son)

Mei: Lightning (MK: "a lightning button")

Mei: and...

Ao Lie: ✨️GREEN✨️

[adaisybyanyothername]

Coulson: If I died-

May *sharpening knives*: Death will not get you out of this relationship.

[alexblakehusband]

daisy: quick poll, ps4 or xbox one?

daisy: mack?

mack: xbox one

daisy: may?

may: huh?

daisy: fitz?

fitz: ps4

daisy: yoyo?

yoyo: both are great

daisy: jemma?

jemma: i like the Wii

*awkward silence*

daisy: thanks grandma

[icantthink-ofagoodname]

Shima: Dude wanna have a slumber party tonight?

Bon: I'm 17 why would I wanna have a slumber party?

Rin, standing in the doorway in his pajamas holding a pillow: Yeah I don't wanna have a slumby either.

[ex1ra-1erres1ial]

May : In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds

Coulson : foRTY FIVE SECONDS!?!?!

May: No! Four to five seconds!

Coulson : TOO LATE!!

[batnardomcfly]

*Jim and Spock on away mission to a new planet*

Spock: Captain, I must insist you take extra caution while on this planet as we know nothing of its plants and animals yet

Jim: Don’t worry Spock, Bones has a dumbass radar built into his brain that alerts him whenever I attempt to do something stupid

Spock: Captain I regret to inform you there is no such thing as a ‘dumbass radar’

Jim: I know that Spock! But watch this

Jim reaches out to touch a random plant

Spock alarmed: Captain I-

Bones, materializing out of nowhere: James Tiberius Kirk you touch that plant and I’ll slap you with it

Spock, confused: How???

Jim, just as confused, whispering: I really have no idea and it’s honestly scary how he knows

[trek-tracks]

Jim: Don’t worry, Bones. This isn’t my first rodeo.

Jim (voiceover): What I neglected to tell Bones was that this was my second rodeo. And that my first had resulted in three broken ribs and a concussion, so that one was kind of hazy.