#Aos incorrect quotes

[adaisybyanyothername]

Simmons: I don't want to be too much of a bother, but could you do me a small favor?

Fitz, Skye/Daisy, Coulson, Bobbi, May: I'd literally die for you, but go on.

[alexblakehusband]

*meanwhile in aos s1*

daisy/skye: soooo when do i get my own gun?

may: i wouldn’t trust you with a nerf.

[backgroundagent3]

Me: Is that a SHIELD agent I see?

SHIELD agent: *Puts on glasses*

Me: Nevermind, my apologies random civilian.

[ex1ra-1erres1ial]

*Skye and May, watching Ward from a distance*

Skye: that's the guy I have a crush on

Skye: thoughts?

May:

May: and prayers, girl

[aosbuskids]

Fitz: Is it really paranoia if the universe keeps proving me right??

[wordsmithcreations]

Deke: *holding a python* Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him? Fitz: You did WHAT- Tony: William Snakepeare.

Steve: We need to get through this locked door. Tony, give you your credit card. Tony: Here. Steve: *pockets card* Thanks. Bucky, kick down the door.

Deke: Hey, Fitz? Can I get some dating advice? Fitz: Just because I'm with Jemma doesn't mean I know how I did it.

Fitz: So how was your day? Deke: We almost got surprised adopted! Fitz: What? Jemma: We almost got kidnapped. Fitz: Oh, okay. WAIT WHAT?

Fitz: WHY, why did you give Ayla a KNIFE?! Deke: I'm sorry. She said she felt unsafe. Fitz: Now I feel unsafe! Deke: I'm sorry... would you like a knife?

Fitz: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'? Hunter: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated- Deke: Smad.

Deke: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Fitz: Deke no. Hunter: Mistlefoe. Fitz: Please stop encouraging him.

[chosetobethisway]

Skye: May, you have trust issues

May: I don't believe you

[trek-tracks]

Kirk (yelling over the communicator): Scotty, beam us back, quickly! There's a lion storm!

Scotty: Aye, Captain, but don't you mean an ion storm?

(a loud roar in the background)

Kirk: no

[leonsgotit]

Jim: YOU LYING, CHEATING, PIECE OF SHIT!

Bones: oh yeah? YOU’RE the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do! WELL, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Jim: I’M LEAVING AND I’M TAKING SPOCK WITH ME

Spock, picking up the monopoly board: I believe it would be wise to stop playing

[onnahu]

Batkids in Metropolis

For context: they have sunglasses on, bc it's Metropolis, and they're fucking Gothamites AND bats so...

Cass: It's so...

Cass: It's so bright here.

Duke: Right? How can anyone live here?

Steph *putting on second pair of sunglasses*: Oh man, it gives me flashbacks.

Tim: Wtf, Steph. Flashbacks to what?

Jason: To death. Duh.

*Steph and Jason high-five*

Dick *just wanted a break from Bruce's bullshit*: Sometimes I hate you so much. Why do everything have to be a death joke to you?

Steph: I don't know what you're talking about...

Steph: I'm dead sirious.

Duke: 1/5, unoriginal.

Steph: Hey!

Damian's home bc he's grounded. He skipped school again. Jason and Tim paughed at him and he's now plotting revenge.

[adaisybyanyothername]

Coulson: If I died-

May *sharpening knives*: Death will not get you out of this relationship.

[alexblakehusband]

bobbi: if you’re going to give grapes to a baby make sure to cut them in half

hunter: [gasps]

bobbi: the grapes, not the baby hunter

[luxthestrange]

LMK Incorrect quotes#103 5 hours

Great+1000 Peepaw Ao Lie Meeting baby mei...

Ao lie*Has been staring at baby Mei in his arms for five hours*...

Y/n*Came to check on him*Stringbean are you okay?-

Ao lie*Looking up at you, to show his nonstop flowing tears*I only had Mei for a day n a half...but if anything happen to her...i kill everyone in this world and then myself-

Y/n:...Damn even me and our lil' monkeys?

Ao lie*Nuzzling his cheek against a sleepy mei* You three would join me on my crusade of contempt

Y/n:...Thats actually very true-

We love our tiny spunky babygirl in this house...

[ex1ra-1erres1ial]

May : In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds

Coulson : foRTY FIVE SECONDS!?!?!

May: No! Four to five seconds!

Coulson : TOO LATE!!

[autism-autobot]

Ao Lie: Your elemental power is: ✨️GREEN✨️

Mei: I'm sorry, what was that?

Ao Lie: ✨️GREEN✨️

Mei: Okay, so, just to recap...

Mei: Ice (Macaque temporarily)

Mei: Water (Sandy)

Mei: Earth (Sun Wukong)

Mei: Fire (Red Son)

Mei: Lightning (MK: "a lightning button")

Mei: and...

Ao Lie: ✨️GREEN✨️

[wordsmithcreations]

Hunter: You ruin everything! Deke: Your welcome! Deke: Do you know a turtles only weakness? Hunter: No... well, their slowness. Deke: Their weakness is they can’t roll over when they are on their backs. Now I have a plan. If I duct tape two turtles together, they’ll be unstoppable. Hunter: Someone’s trying to break in! Deke: *loads shotgun* I got this. Hunter: Last week you fell up the stairs.. Hunter: How the hell are you still alive? Deke: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.