#Anyway please someone write this properly cause I have no skill what so ever

[rhynestonez]

-Hello!! This is a draft I am currently working with, I hope you all enjoy it and please give any feedback! I rlly want to get back into writing and need motivation.

- this has not been reviewed for errors.

Warnings: body mutilation, ocd mention.

Part Of Your Design (draft 1)

Inquisitive and cunning- that's what you were, in the course of time it developed into an irritating habit that got you situated in uncomfortable conversations. Your father attempted countless times to snap you out of the alluring curiosity you had of others. Lectured you not to follow anyone that just so happened to catch your eye, yet your intrusiveness had a suffocating grip around you anyway, and you'd fall backwards and down the rabbit hole of your old habits.

Although you'd bow and give verbal responses back to his nagging, in your own head- you knew your feelings wouldn't differ on the matter, it was bound to happen again wether you liked it or not. As much as you hated to admit it, you were hooked. In your defense- you never downright approached anyone, your social skills were not equal to your observational ones. You just simply followed them until they've gone too far, or, you started to lack enough interested to continue- most of the time, they didn't even acknowledge your presence and it didn't cause any harm.

You had gone weeks without breaking and feeding into the attraction of every individual that passed you, even when you were high above the ground- watching from afar from your opened bedroom window, while the hours rapidly ticked away you jotted quick slapdash notes of anything you found intriguing enough, even adding poorly scribbled representation right beside it. The leather fitted notebook was gifted to you by your mother, it was engraved with your name on the spine, something so special had to be used for special things, right?

To your surprise, it seemed to ease the overpowering want that frequently sparked and caught aflame, it burned out any thoughts and replaced it with the craving you've been trying to decimate. For someone so young, the inquisitiveness inside you was inexorable. The intense desire to learn whatever was beyond your self knowing, to even have the luck of witnessing anything new to fill your book with- with that being said, you knew yourself were trouble and your parents knew it too.

However, the curiosity you held turned into dread when you had dragged yourself back to your doorstep one evening, bleeding, crying, and had not only lost apart of personality but also apart of your body.

Where your arm should've been, it looked as if it had been violently torn from your shoulder- left with nothing but remaining strings of hanging stretched flesh, streams of thick crimson red pouring from the wound. It was tragic, the consequences of your impulsiveness curiosity struck more powerfully that day- more than it ever had. All in hopes to bring back the ruined journal. Which, to be fair- you had, but in cruel exchange of your right arm. It was your fault, you could admit it this one time- as stubborn as you were to admit it other times before.

Alchemy is treacherous, but you hadn't known that. Your mind was so occupied on healing the company that supplied happiness and comfort to you, as cruel as it was to say, you should've learned your lesson by now. That afternoon would forever haunt you, the pure memory of yourself begging, sobbing- blood spurting on the concrete ground. The rain that poured from the clouds that evening mixed with the scarlet blood that was spilled, soaked into the clothes that was now tainted with red and droplets of rainfall.

As time from that day moved on, your mother managed to put together metal arms consistently, to keep up with your salvaged arm's growth. Meanwhile, you kept yourself busy with books- after the poor attempt of alchemy, you were passionately determined to properly learn everything there was to it- to hopefully try it one day without failure.

With every passing year, the permanent reminder of that horrid day- only poured fuel to the dying fire.

[sunwentdownoverpompeii]

Notting Hill Reddie AU

So Richie and Stan co-own a small bookstore in NYC (Containing mainly bird related books even though they are in NYC and the only birds are pidgins)

- Eddie is a very famous movie actor who is just trying to peacefully shop in NYC

- He ends up in the store and he and Richie make a few dumb digs at each other before Richie realises who Eddie is (because some guy who was trying to rob Richie not 5 minutes before asks Eddie for his Autograph)

- After Eddie leaves, Stan walks in annoyed because everywhere was so crowded because apparently some famous celebrity was walking around and he didn’t have time to grab a coffee (And who really cares about celebrities anyway like oh my god get a life)

- Richie offers to go get Stan a coffee but on his way back he literally runs into Eddie and spills it all over him. In an attempt to make amends Richie offers for him to get changed at Richie (and Mike’s) place which is just nearby.

- Eddie agrees and the two make a lot of digs at each other (and Eddie’s mum) during the time. However, once Eddie leaves, Richie kicks himself because he just repeatedly insulted the cutest guy that he has ever met (and a celebrity!!)  

- Then Eddie returns because he forgot the bag with his book that he had brought from Richie earlier. He then kisses Richie right before leaving again because Richie is the first person to make him feel like a human in so long okay?!?

- This of course means that Richie spending a few days in shock because oh my god Eddie Kaspbrak kissed me my life is complete! And of course Richie watches all of Eddie’s movies

- A week or so later Stan tells Richie that he got a call from a Mr Kent staying at the Grand (Idk thats a NYC famous people hotel right?) Richie immediately calls up and Eddie tells him to come in the next day at 2

- However, when Richie arrives he is mistaken for a journalist and is taken to another room. Confused Richie goes along with the act, saying that he is from comedy central. When he finally gets to see Eddie its as an interview, and the two laugh quietly while trying to keep up pretences that it is an interview (they fail)

- Richie is then has to interview all the other main actors for the movie, and it takes him way too long to realise was a horror film about a killer clown (shoutout to Pennywise) and not a comedy at all.

- After all that Richie manages to get back inside to speak to Eddie some more and Eddie agrees to go on a date with him that night. However Richie soon realises that he had a close friends birthday, Eddie however agrees to go with him.

- The birthday is, of course, that of one Beverly Hanscom and the whole Losers club is there!

- They are all shocked that Richie not only found a date that not only could actually put up with him, but also famous af

- Richie and Eddie spend the whole night  doing their usual flirting teasing routine and Eddie fits in surprisingly well with the entire group.

- On their walk home, Richie and Eddie stop at a small comedy club where they spend the night talking happily and Richie reveals that he used to want to be a comedian before life and bills got in the way. The two kiss again that night before parting ways.

- The next day Eddie invites Richie to see a movie together and then out for dinner afterwards. While at dinner, the two hear the next table over (the bowers gang) making homophobic slurs about Eddie, to which Richie grows increasingly mad about before he stands up to give them a piece of his mind. Eddie drags him away but cant help wrecks them himself before leaving (never one to leave without getting in the final word).

- After that the two agree to head up to Eddie’s room but when Richie gets there he finds that Eddie’s wife had just flown in. Myra, being herself quite a famous actress, was immediately rude to Richie and dismissed him as hotel staff.

- Broken hearted Richie went back to his apartment alone.

- Over the next 6 months the Losers try to set Richie up so that he can get over Eddie but nothing ever comes out of it.

- Then, out of the blue, Eddie arrives on Richie’s doorstep after a tabloid scandal revealed that not only had Eddie had a relationship with a man (in college before he was famous), he had also let this man take revealing photos of him that had never been deleted.

- also that he and Myra are getting a divorce

- Richie lets Eddie stay with him and Mike and the two (excluding Mike - sorry) spend an evening entirely too wrapped up in each other. However, it ends with Richie valiantly taking the couch and Eddie in his bed.

- Mike is sure to tell Richie how much of an idiot he is before he also retires to bed. (He is sick of Richie annoying him because he is a lovesick fool okay!)

- Just as Richie makes up his mind to go and knock on Eddie’s door, Eddie appears and invites Richie upstairs, where they spend the night together. ;)

- The next morning the two wake up happily in each others arms and THE END

- nah jk we wish

- Somehow a bunch of reporters and paparazzi had discovered that Eddie was staying with Richie, lining the streets out the front of their small building and managing to snap many not so flattering pictures of Richie in his underwear.

- Eddie is mad and heartbroken because he thinks that Richie sold him out so that he could brag with proof that he slept with Eddie, and leaves.

- The two don’t speak for almost a year before Richie finds out that Eddie shooting a gay romcom in NYC for the next couple of weeks. Richie turns up to the set and is greeted by Eddie who seems happy to see him and asks him to stay around until he has a break. However Richie overhears Eddie telling one of his co-stars that Richie is just “someone from the past” and that he doesn’t “even know why he’s here”. Richie leaves broken hearted again

- Eddie drops by Richie and Stan’s bookstore the next day to apologise to Richie and to ask for them to try again (But with more sappy declarations of love and your mum jokes) but Richie refuses and the two part ways.

- Richie and the rest of the losers all meet up at Mike’s bakery where Richie tells everyone everything. They all try to convince themselves of Richie’s decision before finally Stan tells Richie that he is a dumbass and to go get his man.

- The whole losers gang end up in Ben’s car and the drive full speed to where Eddie usually stays only to find that he had already checkout to head back to LA. However they are also told that Eddie has a press conference currently being held across town.

- The gang manage to only just get there in time (with Bill almost being hit by a car in order to redirect traffic so that they could get through) and they hear one of the reporters ask Eddie how long he is planning on staying in NYC. Eddie says that he will be leaving in only a few hours.

- A second reporter asks about Richie and their relationship, which Eddie answer that he believes that they are still friends but nothing more.

- Finally, the manager calls upon Richie to ask a question. Having not really planned what he was going to say all that well, Richie apologises for being a dumbass and not recognising when he should have that he shouldn’t have given Eddie up. He promises to fight for and love Eddie more than he loved Eddie’s mum (which lead to some very confused laughs from the crowd.) and asks if Eddie believes if he could ever love Richie.

- (all hypothetically of course cause richie is meant to be a journalist)

- Eddie asks his manager to ask the first reporter who Richie heard speak to repeat his question, to which Eddie replies that he would be staying in NYC indefinitely.

- cue cheering, crying and kissing

- Eddie leaves with Richie and the two spend the rest of their lives together (also Richie finally starts up comedy again and becomes reasonably well known) :D

The End (this time for real I promise)

someone pls write this properly cause I have no skill or commitment

[rayofsunas]

valentines | diluc [3]

A/n: good evening everyone!! I know this story is kinda a slow start to things, but dw reader is actually in this chapter lol. my plan is too write one more part, which would be the finale :) let me know how you guys are liking the series so far <33 I feel like Diluc is sooooo ooc, sawwy... AND I also can’t remember if the Dawn Winery is Diluc’s home, but pretend it is for this if it isn’t- anyways, enjoy and stay safe!!

Summary: the ever so stoic diluc thought he was being secretive when sending anonymous letters and gifts to you during the week of valentine’s day but turns out everyone in mondstadt knew it was him, though thankfully had tight enough lips to not spill the beans to you. kaeya is of no help, so you go seeking answers yourself.

Parings: Diluc/Fem! Reader (for my other mini-series, there will be some gn ones!)

Warnings: valentines (yes, I’m late, shoot me), fluff, Diluc and Kaeya have a mother (the only reason this is a warning, is cause she’s a mood and I love her), swearing

Word count: 4.5k (I’m so proud and happy with this chapter :))

The letters were vague at first and you usually received them early in the morning, at first there was one. But now there was more than one letter, sometimes Cecilia flowers and even little gifts in a delicately wrapped box along with them. You assumed the writer was a serious night owl to have prepared this all and had sent them when you were asleep, leaving them as a sort of gift for you to wake up to in the morning. 

Though, originally, when you received the first handful of letters, you were creeped out, nervous for obvious reasons.

Who was this stranger sending letters of unworthy praise and admiration? Was their identity that much in danger, to have to be anonymous? And without an address as well... 

The more you read his or her letters, you learned that over four days, they were no threat. They couldn’t have been. Whoever they were, most likely was a young teen, caught in the webs of affection for the very first time, nervous to dip their toes into confrontation out of fear of being rejected. 

But the more you scanned the letters at night, reading them over like a series of detective novels, searching for any kind of clue, you realized this person was far too intelligent, smooth, and straight to the point, to be any kind of lovesick teen. That scenario, that possibility wasn’t possible in your mind. 

The only thing that made them seem like a confused teen was the fact that they sounded lost within their feelings, although straight to the point it was hard to decipher exactly what they were saying. Their words were often hidden behind a thick wall of glass; you could see them, but it was hard to grasp exactly what they were, the true meaning of it all. 

Was his or her adoration for you, really, truly love?

Was praising your skill too small of a thing to feel completely doused in love over?

You were never too sure. 

-

letter one.

I know this may seem odd, coming from a stranger. But I can assure you I am not a creep of any kind. I can’t help but say, I admire your skills in battle; you’re a force to be reckoned with. Please accept these Cecilia’s, I hope they aren’t too much nor are you allergic.

Best wishes.

This was the very first letter you received. Something you solely took for another Knight who you unknowingly, until now, of course, caught the attention of. You assumed that they were just praising you because they wished to be like you, of course, you accepted it with open arms. Praise for such a low profiled Knight felt nice.

letter two.

Hello. I realized I never specified an address for you to possibly reply to my letters with. It completely slipped my mind, my apologies. If it isn’t too much of a hassle, you could leave your letters at Barbatos’ Statue and I could do so as well. I also realized that sending letters to your home may seem... very weird and unsettling. I am sincerely sorry, my intentions weren’t to scare you. I am no creep, I can assure you we are acquaintances. Though, I would prefer to keep my identity hidden for right now. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes. 

This letter was completely apologetic, its entire body and being were sincere you could tell. Yes, you would agree, the letters sent directly to your home were unsettling. But if they were an acquaintance and they had no ill intentions, you had no reason to panic. 

letter three.

I received your letter and I’m very glad to hear you’re no longer panicked or creeped out. Those were never my intentions... I appreciate your willingness to communicate with me. It’s very kind and understanding of you. Also, to answer your question, I am a man. I hope that does not disappoint you... Looking forward to your next letter. 

Best wishes.

You were happy to finally figure out more of who this anonymous person was, and knowing they were a man helped you learn more about who they could be. The list of suspects you were acquainted and or friends with, decreased significantly. You didn’t have many guy friends or acquaintances. You could only name a handful. Was he even amongst that handful? People had different meanings of friends and acquaintances after all...

letter four.

I know this may seem too early, we’ve only been properly conversing for a day or two. But, I would like to say you’re one of a kind and I found myself lost for words when writing to you. I hope you’re faring well. Please stay safe. I heard there was a pretty nasty bar fight last night that transitioned into a bloodbath in the streets. Lots of people are upset right now, politics I assume... Nonetheless, stay safe. 

Best wishes.

He was right. You weren’t cleared for such information, but you had heard talk from some of your fellow Knights that there was a pretty bad bar fight that carried out into the streets late last night. Multiple people had ended up in the dungeons, some still walked the streets whispering their opinions on an ancient conspiracy, though, you were unsure of what that exactly meant. 

Poison, sicknesses, and night terrors were a few of the most talked-about stressors for the fight. Who was to tell which ones were true though, if any. You assumed the truth was riddled in there somewhere though, it had to of been. Rumors often stemmed from an over extreme truth. 

What an unfortunate thing to hear, especially the week of Valentine's day. A week of love, already filled with a bitter hatred, not a good start. Thankfully, you had the letters, they kept you hopeful. The other person on the receiving end could also feel hopeful, so you hoped. You just hoped the situation wasn’t the start of something worse brewing.

Sadly, you weren’t cleared to investigate like you had heard Captain Kaeya was; despite how curious and nosy you were. Unfortunately, you were stuck with paperwork and training the younger Knights; you enjoyed the latter. But those were your duties this week, you couldn’t afford to stray from them. 

Hopefully, your anonymous admirer was alright and well. 

-

You hated to admit it. But over the last five days, you had become smitten. Some say, love at first sight, was impossible, a silly tale told to hopeless romantics who would believe anything. For someone who was not one of those people easy to fall in love with, truthfully, you were starting to believe the tales.

This anonymous man was so kind, well versed with words, so well versed that they moved mountains. You know for sure they had moved your heart. He wasn't willing to share a simple thing; his name. But he’d practically told you his life story, thrown it into your palms easily. Though vague, it was enough to help you understand him better and feel ultimately closer.

You’d learned he was a well-known guy, and as much as he accepted and loved the attention sometimes, it was tiring and draining the majority of the time. He’d said he was a protector of Mondstadt, someone who deeply cared for the townspeople and they're well beings. He’d make any deal, cross any sea, walk through hell with his head held high, just to protect them. He was also a brother, though never specified if he was older or younger, you assumed he was older when he said that he had a very annoying brother; only an older sibling could understand another's annoyance caused by a younger sibling. You could blame personal experience from your time around the younger Knights. You felt like an older sister to a lot of them without that older mentor figure. They weren’t all annoying, but they could share similar qualities at times when they didn't pay attention or learn paperwork completion formats.  

A name came to mind as he shared his vague life story. 

Kaeya Alberich. 

He was all of those things, except maybe for the last one. You knew Kaeya and Master Diluc were brothers, very close in age, but they weren’t blood-related, so twins were off the table; one was older than the other. Something was telling you it was the more flirtatious brother. He was the more outgoing of the two, spontaneous, he would surely be one behind the letters, right? But then wouldn’t he just approach you like normal? Hmmm. Maybe not. He did like to act mysterious, but maybe he was scared of rejection, who knows with Captain Kaeya. He was very hard to read. You couldn’t even tell half the time if he truly meant what he’d say when flirting with you or if he was just saying those things to tease you, maybe even make someone else jealous. 

You were curious, so you decided to approach him. Corner the Captain and demand an answer. He’d have to give you one, you wouldn’t leave his side. So that’s what you did, after your duties had finished around five in the afternoon, you waited outside the Knights headquarters. Hopefully, you’d catch him going in and out sometime soon, it was growing late. 

It was nearing six-thirty when you were getting ready to leave headquarters. Thinking, maybe this could wait tomorrow until you could catch the Captain at a reasonable time. But then he came strutting out of headquarters, his uncovered eye glistening with mischief, a smirk plastered on his handsome face. 

“Captain Kaeya, a word?” You interjected stepping in front of the man, stopping him from bounding down the steps deeper into the city. 

His face broke out in a grin, “Ah, Y/n! Nice to see you again, miss me did you?” 

“Not hardly, Captain.” You said, hoping you wouldn’t get in trouble for practically back-talking your superior. Your own Captain would never let you hear the end of it, the blonde man was a strict one. 

“You wound me,” The cryo user feigned pain. You could only chuckle nervously. “So, what is it you wanted to see me for?”

Your face heated up, burning like fire. “I have a question.”

“Shoot.” He said, hand going to rest sassily on his hip. 

“Are you the one writing me letters?” 

He laughed, sending waves of embarrassment through you. It shouldn’t have but now you felt stupid. Even if you held no romantic feelings for the Captain, he was way out of your league. He probably knew that. 

“Me? You flatter me!”

“No... I mean it,” You stated. “Is it you?”

His face turned serious. “Sadly, not.”

You huffed, heart, dropping to the floor. “Damn it,” You muttered, moving to sit on the stone steps of the Knights headquarters. Kaeya stayed standing, shadow blanketing over you, oddly silent. No flirtatious rebuttal, nothing, just silence. Odd. 

“You know something I don’t, I know you do.” You said, head hanging low. He laughed again. So, you were right.

“Of course, beautiful, I know a lot of things you don’t.” He taunted, eye dripping in mischief. 

“Very funny, Captain.” This wasn’t very funny, not at all. You weren’t laughing.

Suddenly, the Captain spoke up, “Speak to Diluc, I’m sure he knows, he has a very keen eye.”

Master Diluc? Wine tycoon Diluc? What did he have to do with this? He was always off doing his own thing, was it possible he knew anything at all?

“Master Diluc?”

“That’s what I said, yes.”

“You think he’d know who this person is?” You wondered. 

“Like I, he knows about lots of things, one being people.”

“Captain, I don’t like games, please just tell me.” You pleaded, eyes meeting his singular visible one. 

“When you beg, it’s cute,” He said catching you off guard. “See Diluc, he’ll know.” With that, he turned around and began walking off. 

“Wait!” You abruptly stood. “Do you know where I can find him?” 

“Dawn Winery.” You nearly froze on the spot. 

Dawn Winery? Wasn’t that Master Diluc’s residence? You possibly couldn’t, not at this hour either. Archons no...

“I’m sorry,” You hurriedly followed after the retreating figure. “I can’t possibly go there at this hour.”

“And why not?”

“Umm, Captain obvious, it seems inappropriate! People would think I’m going for other intentions!” Oh, if news got out that you went to Master Diluc’s residence late in the afternoon, and people assumed you had other intentions, this would surely be the end of you.

“But you’re not and you know that,” He said. “Are you always such a rule follower and strung up? Archons, you’re Diluc, but a girl version...” He commented.

He did have a point, but if someone saw a young woman entering the Dawn Winery of a bachelor late in the afternoon, suspicion would rise. It’s very conspicuous.

“Yes but-”

“Toodles, beautiful!” You stood still like a statue of ice, heart racing. 

“Bastard...”

-

Against better judgment, you ended up making the short walk to the Dawn Winery. You were hesitant to knock on the large doors though. Scared shitless, beyond nervous, only thinking what would others think? What would Master Diluc think? He’d probably shut the door on your face, leaving you like a frazzled idiot.

You probably stood pacing outside for fifteen minutes, before mustering up the courage to knock on the door. But you never got the chance, because you saw a woman with brown hair and a few gray strands peeking out of one of the first-floor windows. She had a small smile on her delicate face as she watched you. How long had she been there for...?

Your heart dropped the minute you’d been caught pacing, leaving you standing frozen. Eventually, the woman disappeared from the window, leaving you confused. But then the door whipped open with a gentle force and there she stood. 

She was a taller, slender woman with broad shoulders, wearing a simple dark green blouse black pants, black heeled boots with golden vine details were on her feet, making her even taller. If it weren’t for the gentle smile she gave you, she would’ve looked terrifying. 

“I saw you pacing outside for a while, I figured you’d muster up the courage to knock eventually.” She said without introduction.

Oh my... was this Master Diluc and Kaeya’s mother... She didn’t look like either of them, but who knows. You wanted to die, that’s for sure.

“I’m so sorry Miss,” You apologized. “I was just-”

“No worries!” She cheered, hands clasping tightly together. “Which one of my boys are you here for?”

So, she was their mother? Oh my... You shouldn’t have come like this, no not now. 

“Master Diluc...” You whispered nervously. Her smile only brightened, she was happy to hear that. 

“Ah I see, are his girlfriend?” Your chest wanted to explode.

“What?! No! I just, have a question for him...” You practically shrunk under her grey steel gaze and for that, began backing away from the intimidating, yet a kind woman. You were hoping to put some distance in between you two, but she moved along with you. “It’s not of importance to be here so late, I just- Kaeya sent me here and-”

“Ah I see, that one is trouble, I’m sorry you had to deal with him...” She seemed visibly distressed by the mention of the Cavalry Captain. You could relate. 

“It’s no problem, ma’am.” You reassured.

“Are you a Knight?” She suddenly asked, still no proper introduction. 

You nodded your head, her smile widened and brightened. 

“A respectable woman you are,” She praised. “And you’re beautiful? If one of my boys don’t marry you right now-” She carried on, you nearly choked on your saliva. “I’m sorry, I get carried away sometimes, I forgot to introduce myself!”

“My name is Victoria.” Finally, you thought. A name to fit her face. 

“Are you the boys' mother?” You suddenly asked. Manners, you reminded yourself. Remember to have manners and keep your curiosity to yourself. 

“Archons no!” She announced loudly, you jumped. “I’m a family friend of Diluc’s mother. You see, the boys were quite young when she passed, and they needed someone to help look after them, Master Crepus was quite a busy man. I stepped up and became a mother figure.”

“Ahh, I see,” You nodded. “I salute you for being able to help raise such gentlemen, must’ve been hard...” 

She laughed, “Not entirely, at first yes, but then it came naturally,”

“Where are my manners!” She suddenly exclaimed, grabbing your hand. “Come in! Diluc will be arriving soon, he’s out taking care of business.” With that, she dragged you into the mansion. 

The door slammed with a loud bang, and Victoria began walking through the downstairs level, almost excitedly. 

“Oh, um, thank you, ma’am.” You bowed your head in respect, watching confusedly as she disappeared into a hallway, before returning with a bottle of wine. 

“A drink?” She offered, showing off a bottle of wine, that just so happened to be the Ragnvindr’s specialty. 

“No, thank you, ma’am. I’m afraid I have an early morning tomorrow, a hangover would be a troubling start to my day.”

“Very good decision.” She praised, scrambling out of the room to look for what you assumed was a glass for her wine, leaving you once again alone. 

Glancing around the main entrance, you were left staring at very few portraits on the wall, framed maps, and personal memorabilia. One thing that stood out to you the most, a black insignia with a star and white skull, a Pirate insignia...

“A pirate insignia?” You whispered to yourself, confused. Captain Kaeya always told stories of pirates, his grandfather being one specifically. You always assumed he was lying... He wasn't. Maybe you should take back your disbelief in him. 

“That’s mine,” Victoria announced proudly, making herself known again. You jumped, startled, before turning to face the beautiful woman. She returned with a glass-like you thought she would and nearly emptied the entire wine bottle into it, cherry red contents filling to the brim.

You retract your statement about Captain Kaeya, he was still a fibber. 

“You were a pirate?” You asked, astonishment bubbling in your chest. You had so many questions for her, you secretly hoped Diluc would take even longer, just so you could listen to her stories. 

Victoria hummed, plopping onto a cherry red armchair, you still stood. 

”Badass...” You whispered to yourself, taking a seat on the nearby loveseat. 

”Thank you.” She beamed. 

“In my younger years of course. I haven’t been on a Pirate ship in a while. I haven’t seen my crew in years, either...” She reminisced. 

“You can’t be a day over thirty-five,” She smiled at your praise. “Why did you give it up? Being a Pirate, though uncertain at times, seems like loads of fun, filled with adventure.” She shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. 

“The boys lost their mother around the ages of eleven or twelve and I had just returned from months at sea,” She began. “They had run away from home to get into mischief when they met me at the gates; I think they’d been cooped at home for a while, they were grieving still....”

“Kaeya was excited to see my crew return home, infatuated with our stories. He clung to me for hours, with so many questions. Diluc on the other hand was just happy to finally not be bothered by his little brother,” 

Little brother? Kaeya? Wait did that mean-

“Master Crepus found them after he’d come searching, they’d been missing for hours and he was worried for obvious reasons. He attempted to take them home, Diluc was willing, Kaeya though clung to me. So, Master Crepus offered me a slower-paced life, looking after the boys and help keep them in check,” She continued, a smile on her face. “I agreed. They looked like they had gone through a lot and needed a mother figure. I was more than happy to look after them, I’d never had kids.” She ended her story there, swishing the red contents in her cup. 

“I guess that's the answer to your question,” 

“I was busy being a mother.” You smiled. Her story was inspiring, she was filled with pride despite leaving something she enjoyed behind, you could tell.

Leaning forward in your seat, you admitted, “You’re very admirable, I admire your drive to raise the boys. You’re an amazing woman and mother.”

“Thank you,” She blushed. “There is no perfect woman, no perfect mother, but your admiration for me is very telling, you share my qualities. If I’m as amazing as you say, you’d be an equally amazing mother to your own children.” Your face warmed at her compliment. 

“I’ve never thought about having children before... But, thank you.” She nodded, raising her glass in salute, before throwing the contents into the back of her throat. 

“A young girl such as yourself, curious, strong, loyal- You should accompany me one day if I ever find myself returning to swashbuckling adventures,”

“You’d be a great second mate.” The brunette admitted, sharp eyebrows wiggling with excitement. Was she hinting, no, offering for you to join her?

“I’m flattered. But I’m not so sure it would be right of a Knight to suddenly turn into a Pirate,” You giggled, she joined in. “No offense.”

“None was taken, sweetheart! I can understand. A Pirate would never think to become a Knight,” She explained. “Two different worlds, different rules, loyalties, and such.” 

The silence was deafening, but you had so many questions for the woman. Would she ever return to swashbuckling? Had she ever had any cool encounters? Did she feel like a badass? Archons, so many questions, very little time. 

“I believe I never caught your name, how rude and selfish of me.’ What’s your name beautiful?”

“Y/n Y/l/n, ma’am.” You said proudly. 

She smiled, “A pretty name for a pretty girl.” She praised, steel-gray eyes glistening like the stars. 

The door closing loudly caught your attention immediately, you stiffened on the spot. 

Master Diluc...

“Oh!” Victoria exclaimed, standing to her feet. “Diluc has arrived, my my, we talked for a long time,” Retreating towards the door, all you could hear were her heeled boots thumping against the wooden floorboards, matching the thumps of your beating heart surely. You watched uncomfortably as she helped the wine tycoon shrug his jacket off, poking fun at him every now and then. You could see by the way he tried to brush her off that he was flustered, he still hadn't seen you though, Victoria was persistent in her pestering; a mother's love, am I right?

“Diluc,” she started, voice echoing and bouncing off into the walls, traveling into the living room. “A beautiful, intelligent woman is here to see you. She says it’s not of importance, but with a woman of her beauty and admiration, you’ll make this the most important day in your life!” With that, her boots moving could be heard again and she was suddenly in the living room, a huge smile on her face, standing behind the loveseat you were sitting uncomfortably in. 

Another pair of boots could be heard, a heavier set this time, a jingling was heard as well, maybe keys? You weren’t sure... 

“Mother-” The tall man shut his mouth immediately as soon as he’d set his eyes on your figure. “Oh,” He approached, continuously looking between Victoria and you, probably wondering what the hell was going on.

“Miss Y/n,” He bowed his head respectively, though you were confused. You should be doing that instead, he was your superior in more ways than one. Standing to your feet, nearly tripping as well, you decided to greet him the same way, remembering your manners in your starstruck state. You couldn’t tell if it was from Victoria's story or the fact that Master Diluc was standing in front of you. Probably both. “W-what’re you doing here?” Master Diluc a stuttering mess? What an uncharacteristically shocking sight...

A slap sounded throughout the room, Victoria’s hand making contact with Diluc’s shoulder, ushering him forward, that’s what it was. “Diluc stop stuttering! Why are you suddenly flustered, huh?!” She exclaimed loudly, her son just stared at her embarrassed. Face turning shades of red. You giggled to yourself quietly.

“Mother!” 

“Sorry!” Her hands waved out in front of you, various gold dangling bracelets and chains on her wrists making a jingling sound. “I should be going now,” Te brunette then turned to you, taking your hands in her slender ones. “After talking to this eye-opening Knight, I think I should write to a few of my old comrades.” You smiled happily, hands squeezing hers gently. She was staring at you with pride as a mother would to their daughter. 

“Goodnight Y/n. I hope to see you again soon,” She waved you off, moving towards the stairs. “Come find me when you’re ready to leave behind those Knightly duties and join me for a voyage at sea, I’d love to show you my ship one day.” She beamed.

You nodded, seriously considering her offer. You hoped you as well would see her again, rather sooner than later. She was great company. You loved her deafening presence, an admirable woman she was. “Good night, ma’am.”  

As soon as she was gone up the stairs, Diluc awkwardly turned to face you. 

”She asked you to join her on her voyages I see.” He stated, trying to spark conversation. You nodded, fingers fiddling.

“Ya know, I’m considering that offer. It sounds fun.” You teased with a shrug, voice filled with sincerity. 

Master Diluc sent you a soft smile, “Yes. Life at sea does sound quite tiring, but I’m sure the adventures are worth it.”

“Agreed.”

Another deafening silence, Diluc looked like he wanted to say something.

“Can I get you anything? Wine, tea, juice...”

Not that though... You couldn’t help but giggle at the last part, he blushed. 

“Maybe next time, I’d love to be graced with your mother's presence again, maybe hear a few stories.”

“I’m sure she’d love that. Mother has many to tell.” He admitted with a proud smile,

You couldn’t wait to hear those stories truthfully, so entranced. You had never faced adventures quite like Victoria, never had even considered it, now you were though. Curse Victoria and her entrancement, though not literally, you held too much admiration for the woman to ever wish ill on her. 

”So, what can I do for you?” Diluc suddenly asked.

”Oh right!” You were left flustered. So wrapped up in your conversation, you had completely forgotten what you had come here for. Archons, what the hell.

“I had a question, but-”

You paused. 

Diluc’s eyebrows raised. “Yes?” He seemed to be hanging onto your every word. He was waiting for an answer for a long time. It seems he’d have to wait even longer...

“...I seemed to have forgotten.”

[🏷] TAGLIST (if you want to be removed from/added to this specific taglist let me know!)

@gladly-olus​ , @kyquu , @craptainlou , @mintydump , @chscklvr , @irisxiel , @minh0ree , @whatishappinesswhatislove , @rrintarou , @sorenthousand , @cvsmix , @nonniechan ,

3.7.21, rayofsunas

[peppermint2d]

F#$%ing uh, Calm after the Storm cuz the Storm Thing

Chapter 1:

When you took the job at the Essex Enquirer, you had hoped to work in your speciality, investigative war journalism. Since every taxi you tried refused to take you to Kong Studios, right now, the only war you're dealing with is the fight you're having with your GPS. The winding road, plus the rain, and the fact that your company car was ten years old caused your GPS to think you were driving in circles. Luckily, you could see your destination already. In fact, most of Essex could see Kong Studios, the haunted building on top of a great hill.

As a sort of hazing, all new employees get assigned to local entertainment news. You cringe when you heard about the guy who had to write about the mysterious appearance and subsequent disappearance of the shit statue in the city centre. Thankfully, your assignment was much tamer: you only had to interview a local band. You bought their EP "Tomorrow Comes Today" and have been blasting it on the way over. They sounded amazing, and with each repeat of the record, you became more and more excited to talk to them.

But with each kilometre you drive closer to Kong, you become more and more nervous about the surroundings. The heavy rain that was coming in was not helping anything either. There were thunderstorm warnings for that weekend, but it wasn't supposed to be for another day, so you hope the rain will let up soon for some outdoor shots of the band. You stop your car in front of the gothic gates that spelt "Kong" out in the metal bars. You push on them and they do not budge. You see a little intercom box and press the button, a loud buzz signalling that the thing still worked.

"Huh? Who's there?" A gruff voice answered your call.

"Hi. Mr Niccals? I'm here for the interview."

He grumbled. "Right, yeah. Forgot about that." Another buzz punctuated his sentence and signalled the opening of the doors.

You were soaked to the bones as you finished the drive up to Kong. You couldn't tell if your shivers were because of the fact that you were cold or because of the fact that you were driving through a cemetery.

You park your car and rush under the cover of the doorway with your camera and notepad. You knock on the double doors, and although you let your host know you were there earlier, it was a couple minutes before he even opened the door, shirtless, which you filed away to be included in your article.

His eyes looked you up and down "So you're the reporter, eh? I figured they'd over some crazy bat for local news, but I guess I'm special, right?" He smirked at you, his eyes hungry.

"I suppose so. May I?" You gesture to the doorway that he was blocking.

He stepped out of the way, closing the door after you. "I could give you a tour and find the rest of the band?"

"Was I unexpected? I'm so sorry." You flush. Your first assignment and your boss forgot to tell your subjects. How professional.

"It's alright, pet. We get so many journalists that we are always prepared." He slung his arm around your shoulders, leading you around the ground floor.

"So, Mr Niccals, how did you come to own Kong?"

He frowned. "Call me Murdoc, babes. Mr Niccals is my father."

"Right, sorry, Murdoc?"

He hummed, "Just like that." He cleared his throat. "I found it online about two years ago. It was supposed to be a short-term thing, but the owners, they just threw me the keys and left. So I figured I was the owner then. The bowling alley is right in here, by the way." You hurriedly scribbled what he said down.

Your interview continued like that, you asking questions ( "Have you been in any other bands?") and Murdoc answering them ( "Loads. None quite matched my skill though.") while you walked from room to room ( "Here's the recording studio. Found that pelt myself, I really think it brings the room together.") and took notes (Murdoc does not wear deodorant and should).

"Here's the best room of the house. Our very own carpark."

"An eighteenth-century mansion has a carpark?" you asked in disbelief.

He led you inside the space. "I think the biker gang put it in. Crazy bastards. At least now I have a spot for my Winnebago! Want to see it?"

"I'm fine, Murdoc. I don't need to see your private quarters for the article."

"Who said anything about it being for the article? I have real Egyptian silk, mmmm." He started to lead you to his Winnebago.

You stopped walking with him, causing him to stop as well. "Interview first, yeah?" You didn't know any other way of turning him down without running the risk of him cancelling the interview altogether. You start to head over to a doorway that you thought led back upstairs.

"Those go to dents-for-eyes' room. This way takes us upstairs, pet." You climbed the stairs with him. "Up here's really only the kitchen, lounge, and Noodle and Russel's rooms."

He was right, the stairs led directly into the kitchen. All of the rest of the band was gathered there, huddled around a stack of pizza boxes. "Oi! Where did the pizza come from?"

"We ordered it when you were playing dress-up." One of the band members said, and judging by his accent, he was from America.

Murdoc stomped. "I was not playing dress-up! I was trying on costumes for the show!"

You got out your notebook and wrote that down. You could feel the attention of the band on you now. "Oh sorry, I'm here to interview you!"

"Oh, cool. I'm Russel," The American said, "that's Noodle," he pointed at a child who was claiming an entire pizza pie for herself, "and the blue one's 2D."

"Konichiwa!"

"Nice to meet yew!"

You smiled back and greeted them both. The blue one, 2D, was certainly blue, or at least his spikey hair was. His eyes, on the other hand, were pitch black, none of the whites of his eyes was visible. It gave him a unique look and you wonder if it was done intentionally.

Noodle picked up a slice and was about to eat it when you said "I hate to interrupt dinner, but if you could pose for some pictures before you eat, I would really appreciate it. None of that pizza sauce on your faces."

Noodle grumbled but complied, putting the pizza down.

"Where'd yew want the photos?" 2D asked.

You look at Murdoc. "Would it be alright if we take them in the studio?" He shrugged his shoulders and led the way downstairs.

The band posed like they were in the middle of performing. The only issue was that 2D was so tall, that, from your angle, he covered Russel. You spent a little bit of time repositioning them until it was perfect. Just as you were about to take the photo, the lights in the studio went out. The lights everywhere went out.

"A bleeding outage? Right now?" Murdoc fumed.

"I'm sure it will turn on again soon, in the meantime, I guess you can get back to dinner." From somewhere in the darkness, Noodle cheered. "But someone is going to have to help me out of here, I can't see anything."

"You and 2D" Russel chuckled.

Only Murdoc had a phone on him, so he used it to light the way. It especially came in handy when everyone grabbed their food and sat at the table. Murdoc sat at the head, of course, with Noodle and Russel on one side, and you and 2D on the other. Everyone started to eat and you watched them all, mentally taking notes on their habits. You were not surprised that Murdoc chewed with his mouth open. What did surprise you was that the other men actually used their napkins properly.

"'ave yew 'ad dinner? Would yew like some?" 2D offered some of his pizza to you, but you declined. You were bound to get home soon anyway and it would just be unprofessional to eat your guest's food.

"She doesn't need your pizza, Face Ache, she will be getting plenty of my sausage tonight." Murdoc snickered, but no one else at the table joined him.

You awkwardly cleared your throat. "Would you guys be okay with answering some questions while you eat?" They all hummed in agreement while they ate. "So how did you all meet?"

The table became a little tense and all of the members looked at Murdoc. He set his pizza down. "I met 2D first, hit him with a car. Then he joined my band."

"Tell the 'ole story." 2D grumpily persisted.

"Fine. My buddies and I were looking for some keyboards. We crashed into where 2D worked and I hit his eye, proper breaking the thing and sent him into a coma. I had to oversee the poor little mutt as my punishment. I took him to a Tesco and was pulling some wicked tricks that the girls loved. Apparently one of my doughnuts was too fast because 2D went flying through the windshield and hit his face on the curb, breaking the other eye. When he stood up, he was so powerful, I knew I had to have him in my band."

"I 'ad no choice in the matter."

"As if you would say no."

As they start arguing over 2D's involvement, you were still processing the story you heard. Murdoc doesn't seem to be the best person. Murdoc doesn't seem to even be a good person. He seems actively dangerous, and you don't want to be around him longer than you need to. You make note of the whole story and add in a personal note to look up his criminal record.

"So, Russel, how did you join Gorillaz?"

"Murdoc kidnapped me."

That's really not helping his case. "Please tell me that Murdoc had nothing to do with Noodle's joining?"

"Nah, she just randomly showed up one day in a FedEx crate. Played the best guitar I've ever heard and only said her name. Everything else is just Japanese." Russel looked over to Noodle, who nodded, understanding exactly what you guys were talking about.

This was certainly some band. You ask a couple more questions, as required by your boss. "Which song on the EP is your favourite?" "Tomorrow Comes Today." "When can we expect a full album?" "Soon." "Are you surprised by the attention you're receiving?" Murdoc, of course, thought he deserved more, but the other members were much more humble.

After you finish that up, you tell them to pretend like you're not there to get a grasp of their dynamics. They eventually went back into their normal rhythm of banter, but that doesn't stop 2D from trying to include you in their conversation.

They finish their food and 2D gets his portable DVD player and puts on some zombie movie. You're surprised that they let Noodle watch it considering how young she is, but she seems the most enthusiastic. You don't join them on the couch, opting for the floor where the light from the player illuminated their faces. Since you didn't get a picture, you may need to have a drawing instead. You're nearly done when Murdoc announces a piss break and gets up, Noodle and Russel, grabbing snacks.

2D stayed behind on the couch. "Yew know, yew make funny faces when yew draw."

"You were watching me? Oh god, that's embarrassing."

"Seen dis movie loads before, so I got bored and 'ave been watchin you the 'ole time. Sorry, I forget about the 'ole no pupils fing. Freaks people out. Nofing up 'ere to remember that wif though." He gestures to his head.

"No, no, no you're good! I was just too busy drawing to pay attention." you laugh and try to play it off. In reality, it did startle you a bit initially to learn he was staring at you, but honestly, you don't mind and just got to get better at guessing where his focus is.

He smiles wide, showing off his missing teeth, and it lits up the room as if the generators were back on. "Soda?" You nod.

2D and the rest of the band return to the couch, having to wait for Murdoc who apparently has a bladder the size of a horse. He hands you your soda, peeps a glance at your drawing, and gives you a thumbs-up of approval.

You drink the soda and start penning what you think your article may look like. However, the sugar high fades quickly and you're exhausted.

Sharp pain in your side wakes you up and you yelp. You hear the band laugh at what's happened, everyone, except for Murdoc who is groaning on the floor beside you. "Bloody 'ell! What the fuck are you doing on the floor?"

You gulp. "Sleeping?"

"You can do that in my Winnebago with me instead of on the ground, love," Murdoc suggests, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'll settle for the couch over the ground, if you don't mind me staying over that is. So, where are your duvets?" The band members look around and collectively shrug. "No blankets... I'll just suffer the cold."

"My offer still stands." It did sound slightly better now, but the prospect of him also being there upset you.

"I can survive the cold for one night." Famous last words.

It was freezing in Kong Studios. Your teeth were chattering and you couldn't feel your toes. It's been like this since you woke up after only sleeping an hour.

How are you supposed to warm up? You tried exercising, which was good until you sweated a little and that cooled to ice. Now you're even colder than before. Perfect.

You start to walk around, trying to warm up and think. You couldn't start a fire, not only do you not know how to start a fire, but you also do not want to burn the studio down. And they didn't have blankets... but maybe they have big coats?

You retrace your steps from the tour of the place, heading to where you hope was their rooms. You really only remember trying to get Murdoc to stop leading you back to his Winnebago. You inadvertently walked to the carpark since it was really the only place you could remember to navigate in the dark. Kong Studios certainly didn't feel homey before the lights went out and now the hairs on the back of your neck are standing on edge.

It was pitch black in the hallway, so you ran your hand along one of the walls, yelping every time it touched the edge of a picture frame. You feel the wall take a right and you follow it down, seeing a sliver of light emitting from under a door. Light? Such an unfamiliar sight now. You pray that it was not the bathroom with Murdoc and scented candles inside as you gently knock on the door. You would even prefer Noodle, who would be the worst suited to help you, than Murdoc. The light is certainly coming from a scented candle. A heady scent of vanilla has slipped under the door and is extending into the hallway. Your knock received no answer so you tried again, this time louder.

Louder.

Louder.

At this point, any louder and you would have woken up the other members. So, you open the door a creak to peek inside.

What a sight to behold. The light from the candle made 2D's hair shine a bright azure and cast huge shadows on his far wall as he danced to his cassette tape. His dancing was awful but endearing; he looked like a baby dear that was still getting used to using its limbs. Abruptly, he stopped and you thought he finally noticed you, but then he rushed over to the papers by the candle and wrote something down, which you could only assume was a lyric.

Without any warning, he looked up and made eye contact with you. You stared at his black eyes, waiting for him to say something. He hummed and crossed out a part of the writing.

You had watched him for long enough, so you knocked again, which gained his attention. "Noodle? Is that yew?"

You opened the door further, "No, uh sorry to bother you so late..."

He began to tidy up the papers he was working on, tucking them behind him. "Hiya! What can I do for yew? Got more questions?"

You're so glad that he didn't mind your intrusion. His light smile put you at ease. "Yeah, I suppose I have one. You don't have anything to keep warm with? Like a jacket maybe?" You were surprised that he wasn't bothered by the cold, only wearing a T-shirt over a thin long-sleeved shirt.

"Oh. Yew cold? I might 'ave somefin! May swallow you 'ole though." His voice cracked as he spoke as he started digging through the piles of clothes on the floor, looking for something. He pulled out a blue jacket, not unlike the colour of his hair, and held it out. "This is one of me favourites! I fink it looks punk, don't yew?" You nod. It did indeed look wicked. "Go on, put it on! I would like it back when yew're done, if that's alright." He looked so nervous asking for his own property to be returned.

You smiled warmly at him. "Of course 2D, you have my word." You slip it on, and he was right, it was way too big on you! Most noticeably in the arm length, where the edges of the sleeves hung off your arms. It was heavy and warm and smelled like cigarettes and something else, something you could only imagine as 2D. It felt like a safe hug. Maybe 2D should be nervous about you keeping it. "I see why it's your favourite."

He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. I 'ope to wear it in a music video! If Murdoc lets me, that is." At this point, he sits back down again. "Wanna stay? I've gots more zombie mofies! Like Dawn of the Dead... or Evil Dead... or Zombie Flesh Ea'ers!"

"Sure, but I'm winded." You yawn and snuggle deeper into the jacket.

"Don worry! I'll pause it if yew fall asleep." He grins and pats the ground next to him, where you join him. "Which ones 'ave you seen before?"

"None of them. Which is your favourite?"

"NONE OF 'EM? Well then, we gotta watch Dawn of the Dead, it's the first Zombi mofie!" He loads the film and puts the tiny player in front of both of you, turning off the candle to make the lighting better. "I'm so excited for yew to watch dis! It's been a couple monfs since I saw it meself."

He lets the movie play, occasionally pausing to explain why a certain scene was so impressive in horror movie history. You barely watch the film, rather you pay attention to 2D, mentally tracing the look of excitement on his face and committing his hand gestures to memory. You never know what may be important for your article.

[wherever-the-chaos-is]

Lan Wangji’s communication skills and other misunderstandings

I think Lan Wangji is good at talking and can express himself well. But he restrains himself from speaking his mind and his heart for various reasons or would prefer to express his intentions through action. Just because he’s quiet and introverted, doesn’t mean he’s bad at communicating.

I know there’s already a post explaining how Lan Wangji’s speech works in Chinese in terms of syntax and pragmatics, and I think that this can be translated well in English (or in other languages). To be able to pack as much meaning in as few words as possible and to be able to adjust your speech according to the receiver are such huge signs of intelligence, wit, and skill in any language, which is something Lan Wangji is able to accomplish.

Some of my favorite descriptions related to Lan Wangji’s way of expressing himself are the following:

Chapter 73:

"Lan WangJi rarely spoke when he was outside. Even when they debated cultivation techniques during Discussion Conferences, he only answered when others questioned or challenged him. With utmost concision, he overcame, without fault, the lengthy arguments of others. Apart from this, he almost never spoke up."

Chapter 120:

"It definitely wasn’t out of cutting corners that Lan WangJi’s comments were short. He wouldn’t slack off in the slightest way, no matter how simple the task was. Rather, it was his habit to be as concise as possible, no matter in words or writing." 

Chapter 94:

"Looking at him, Wei WuXian felt a place in his heart go soft. He also thought it was funny. This one’d been like this ever since he was young. When he wanted something, he never said anything on the surface, but rather chased after it as much as he could in his actions."

Chapter 64:

Wei WuXian, “If he doesn’t wish to talk about something then I won’t ask.”

Lan XiChen, “But, with WangJi’s personality, how could he say anything if you do not ask? There are some things that even if you ask him he would not say.”

Chapter 126:

Wei WuXian, “That’s more like it. Just say it if you want some. You’ve really been like this ever since you were young, holding everything in and never saying what you want.”

In chapters 54 and 55, Lan Wangji talks so much after having been pushed to his physical and mental limits, answering Wei Wuxian’s remarks in anger and frustration. Lan Wangji also talks at length when he tells a story or relays information like when he tells the public version of Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan, and Xue Yang’s story in Chapter 29 and when he tells Wei Wuxian all about the Xuanwu of Slaughter also in chapters 54 and 55 (Seriously, go read those chapters. I can’t even quote it because Lan Wangji talks a lot and they have probably their longest conversations in the book in those chapters.)

Lan Wangji is also perceptive enough to know when he will not be understood the way he intends and can adjust himself well. 

Chapter 74:

Lan WangJi, “Speech is forbidden when dining.”

For Wen Yuan to understand, he repeated it again using simpler language, “Do not talk when you are eating.”

Wen Yuan quickly nodded and buried himself in the soup, not saying anything anymore.

When he is nervous, he can get a bit tongue-tied like the average person:

Chapter 111:

Lan WangJi stared straight at him. Something strange glowed in his eyes. He started, “Then…”

Wei WuXian, “Then what? Stopping in the middle of the sentence isn’t your style, Lan Zhan.”

To offer some comparison, Wei Wuxian who is even wittier, more verbose and just generally more talkative, also gets tongue-tied when nervous:

Chapter 95:

The surging heat finally began to retreat. Wei WuXian’s head was still dizzy as he rambled on, “In these two lives, you’ve helped me a lot. I know you’re… really nice to me. You’re really great! Apart from thank you, I don’t know what else to say to you… Anyways, towards you, I feel… I feel…”

But this wasn’t the point at all. Wei WuXian had never confessed like this to anyone before. Even someone whose face was as thick as his felt a bit embarrassed. He could only first pick a few random things to say. Just as he was thinking how to explain himself to make it sound sincere and serious when Lan WangJi suddenly pushed him away.

But once he is comfortable with someone or when his reasons for restraining himself are gone, he will speak his mind and heart. We can see this when he freely talks to Lan Xichen about the things Wei Wuxian has shared with him in Chapter 125. He can also be witty and a bit sassy, especially in the present time, as we can see everytime he throws Wei Wuxian’s words back at him or even makes subtle digs at Wei Wuxian:

Chapter 21:

After a few moments, the strings played two notes on their own. Wei WuXian quickly asked, “What did it say?”

Lan WangJi, “I do not know.”

Wei WuXian, “What?”

Lan WangJi replied in an unhurried manner, “It said, ‘I do not know’.”

“…” Wei WuXian looked at him, suddenly remembering a conversation about “whatever” a few years ago. Touching his nose, he was at a loss for words, and thought, Lan Zhan is so bright. He even learned how to make me speechless.

Chapter 25:

Suddenly, one of Lan WangJi’s arms wrapped around his back and, as Lan WangJi bent down slightly, another went toward the back of his knees.

[...] Carrying him, Lan WangJi both walked and replied to him steadily, “You said that you didn’t want to be carried on my back.”

Wei WuXian, “I didn’t say that I wanted to be carried like this either.”

Chapter 45:

Wei WuXian was also shocked. He turned to Lan WangJi, “Your sect makes disciples do handstands while copying? That’s awful.”

Lan WangJi replied calmly, “There would always be someone who did not learn their lessons by simply copying the sect rules. Handstands not only guaranteed better performance in the future but also benefited cultivation.”

Of course, Wei WuXian was the someone who never learnt his lessons. He pretended as though he didn’t know what Lan WangJi was talking about. (Chapter 45)

. He can even be smooth as shown in Chapter 126:

“Be honest about whether or not you thought about me in the same way.” In a solemn tone, he spoke, “Rejecting me like that so coldly every single time—it really made me lose face, don’t you know?”

Lan WangJi, “You can try, now, to see if I would reject you over anything.”

The sentence so suddenly struck his heart. Wei WuXian choked, yet Lan WangJi was still as calm as ever, as though he didn’t at all realize what he just said. Wei WuXian put his hand to his forehead, “You… HanGuang-Jun, let’s make a deal. Please warn me before you say something so romantic, or else I won’t be able to take it.”

Regarding his feelings for Wei Wuxian, apart from that moment in the cave after the Nightless City massacre, I don’t think he ever intended for Wei Wuxian to know his feelings since Wei Wuxian already told him he was straight (Chapter 54: "Don’t worry—I don’t like men, I won’t take advantage of the opportunity and do anything to you.”) and then kept giving him mixed signals wherein Wei Wuxian would flirt with him but then pass it off as a joke. Unfortunately, Wei Wuxian did not remember that one time Lan Wangji wanted Wei Wuxian know how he felt, which causes much of their misunderstanding in the present.

I would also like to point out that Wangxian didn't really have a miscommunication during that time as Wei Wuxian would acknowledge Lan Wangji's concern and basically go "Thanks, but no thanks. You’re wrong and I have everything under control." In fact, they actually reach an understanding in this conversation in Chapter 75:

A moment later, Wei WuXian spoke up, “Lan Zhan, you asked me if I intended on staying like this from now on. To be honest, I’d like to ask something as well. What can I do apart from this?”

He continued, “Give up the demonic path? Then what about the people on this mountain?

“Give them up? I won’t be able to do it. I believe that if you were I, you wouldn’t be able to do it either.”

He continued, “Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on. A road where I could protect those I want to protect without having to cultivate the ghostly path.”

Lan WangJi gazed at him. He didn’t reply, but both of them knew the answer in their hearts.

There was no such road.

Look how smooth he is after he and Wei Wuxian got married. He finally knows and feels that he can freely express his love to Wei Wuxian in words, and he does just that in his elegant manner of speech

We can see here that Wei Wuxian has made his decision and all Lan Wangji could do is to respect it as a mere outsider in Wei Wuxian’s life.

In the present time, they have a misunderstanding but it is not borne from the lack of ability to express themselves. Rather, it is due to Wei Wuxian's impaired memory. Add to that the fact that Wei Wuxian has already made assumptions about Lan Wangji that are actually not completely true as we are shown throughout the novel. At this point also, Lan Wangji has already been rejected and pushed away many times and is under the impression that Wei Wuxian already knows his true feelings.

In conclusion, Lan Wangji can express himself well. It’s just that he’s quiet and prefers action over words. Communication or expressing one’s self is more than just the skill of being able to put your thoughts and feelings into words. There’s plenty of other reasons why someone might not be saying something. Conflicts in the novel are much more complex and aren’t just because of mere miscommunication or inability to talk and express themselves properly. Not all problems are resolved in a way that both parties unite and end up on the same side. Differences in judgments and views happen and the only resolution is just to agree to disagree.

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

Home | Doctor Who

Pairing: 13!Doctor x Daughter!Reader 

Summary: after years of tracking down the Doctor you finally find him... or her... 

Word Count: 1473

Warning: none? 

A/N: okay so this idea has been stuck in my head for months and I finally managed to write it down. there may possibly be more chapters to come... 

As always spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Masterlist

- - - - -

The blue box.

You’d spent years searching for that beautiful blue box and now here it is. Finally you’ve found it which means you’ve found him. 

So why aren’t you walking over and knocking on the door?

Instead you find yourself stood on the other side of the road, staring at the box not knowing what to do. During the years of tracking it down you always thought that when you found it, when you found him, you’d know exactly what to say but now you're here the words are gone. What if he doesn’t want to see you again? 

Then the door opens and before you even know what you're doing suddenly you're running. Your feet carry you across the road towards the blue box as you shout to the man. 

“Dad!” 

He doesn’t respond. He probably didn’t hear you over the hustle and bustle of the busy Sheffield street. 

“Dad!” You repeat as you crash into him, throwing your arms around him in a tight hug. “I found you!” 

“You what love?” Is all he can say, his cockney voice thick with confusion. You pull away and look him in the face. 

“You’ve changed. But then again so have I. I cant believe I finally found you”

He stares back at you blankly. 

“I’m sorry do I know you”

You're about to reply when two more people step out of the box. A boy and a girl, both in their early twenties. 

“She said she’ll be out in a minute she’s just got to- Who’s this?” The girl stops speaking when she spots you. 

“I’m his daughter” you say, matter of fact.

“What?!” The boy shouts.

“You didn’t tell us you had a daughter, Graham” the girl speaks again

 “Graham? You changed your name too?” You ask but he ignores you.

“Thats cause I don’t. I haven’t got kids.” 

“Course you do. Don't you remember, on the planet Messaline you created me. I was made from your DNA.” You explain but he continue looking blankly at you “You're my dad! How can you not remember this?!”

“You know anything about this Doc?” He asks, turning your attention to the blonde woman who just stepped out the TARDIS.

Your eyes meet and you stare at her for a moment. You’ve never seen her before but somehow you feel like you know her. 

“Doc? As in Doctor… you're the Doctor?” You almost whisper.

“That’s me, and who are you?” She replies cheerfully.

“But you're a woman. How…?”

“I recently had an upgrade.” She smiles, taking a small device out of her coat pocket and scanning it over you. She studies it.

“I didn’t know we could do that. I mean, I didn’t know we could even change bodies until the second time I died. Woke up as someone else, that was a shock. But we can change gender too? That’s cool”

“Two heart beats. Same genetic code as me but not a Time Lord? How can that-” she stops talking and looks up at you “…Jenny?”

“Well actually it’s Y/N now. New face, new name. But yeah, it’s me.” You take a breath and smile. “Hi Dad”

She looks at you, completely dumbstruck.

“Or is it Mom now? I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a mother… Can I call you mom? Or is that a bit weird?” You ramble nervously. 

“Just give me a minute” The Doctor says before hurrying back into the blue box, shutting the door behind her. 

You look awkwardly at the three strangers. 

“I’m sure she won’t be long” Graham says, giving you a reassuring smile. You all stand in silence for a few moments but she doesn’t come back out.

“This was a mistake” you say as you turn and run away.

“Y/N!” “Wait!” “Come back!” The guys call after you but you don't stop running till you're out of sight. 

— — — — 

Sitting on a bench in the middle of a quiet park you find yourself reliving your memories of the day you were created back on Messaline. You remember how it felt to suddenly be alive and straight away handed a gun. You remember how at first The Doctor had been cold towards you but eventually embraced you and taught you that you didn’t have to be the soldier you were created to be. You remember how caring Donna had been, how she looked out for you and gave you the name ‘Jenny’. When you imagined what a mother would be like, you thought of Donna. 

“Room for a little one?” A voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you turn to see The Doctor stood watching you. You nod and she takes a seat next to you on the bench.

“Why did you run off?” 

“Well you weren’t exactly happy to see me so I figured-”

“It’s just a shock that’s all. You died remember.” Her face goes serious as she looks out across the park “I held you in my arms and watched you die. When I left that planet you were dead.”

“And now I’m alive. I don't know how it happened I just, I woke up. I was given a second chance at life and I didn’t want to waste it on that planet so I stole an escape shuttle and I went off on my own adventures. Got lonely after a while though, travelling on my own, so I decided to find you. I tried to write to you but I guess you never got my letters.”

She looks at you with a mix of amazement and regret in her eyes.

“How did you find me?”

“It wasn’t easy. You are hard to keep track of-”

“Always have found it hard to keep still for long”

“Yeah I got that. But wherever you go you leave a piece of yourself. All the planets you save and the lives you touch tell a story. But the planet with the most stories, was this one.”

“Humans have a special place in my heart” she smiles

“Yeah I don't know why, they live such dull lives. I’ve been here for a year now living like them, it’s so boring!” You complain and she smirks “anyway, I found a group online that share their stories and sightings of you and they said your TARDIS has been spotted here in Sheffield a lot lately, so I moved here and I’ve been waiting ever since. I couldn’t believe my eyes today when I saw that blue box just sitting there. I almost walked the other way I was so nervous”

“Nervous? Why?”

“I don't know, I just… it’s been so long since Messaline and I’ve changed so much since then… I was scared you’d turn me away…” your voice fades and you sit in silence for a few moments. 

“I’m sorry” she finally says “I want to say something reassuring but I’m quite socially awkward, not good at all the serious stuff.”

“That’s okay, I get it-”

“No it’s not. I want to be able to tell you that I’m glad you found me and I’m so so happy you're alive and that I’m so thrilled I’ve got my daughter back…”

“Well… you just did” you smile and she realises what she just said. She grins back at you.

“So. Will you come back to the TARDIS with me? I’ll properly introduce you to the fam”

“The fam?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I call them. Graham, Ryan and Yaz. And now you. We can go on adventures together” 

“I’d love that” you smile as happy tears threaten to spill from your eyes. 

— — —— 

When you reach the TARDIS, the Doctor opens up the door and gestures for you to step inside. You walk in and immediately your breath is taken away by the view. 

“It’s… amazing! It’s beautiful! It’s so much nicer than the escape shuttle I was travelling in”

“Y/N, this is Ryan, Yaz and Graham. Fam, this is Y/N. My daughter.” The Doctor puts her arm around your shoulder as she introduces you.

“It’s nice to meet you all. Sorry I called you dad” you direct the last part to Graham who just laughs 

“It’s alright love, I’ve been called much worse” he responds cheerfully.

“So, where do we want to go then? Y/N, any suggestions?” The Doc asks and you shrug. 

“Anywhere. Surprise me! Just make it… not boring” You say and she nods.

“I know just the place” she says, pressing various buttons and switches on the control panel. “Wanna do the honours?” 

She beckons you over to her and places your hand on a large lever.  She puts her hand on top of yours and together you pull it down toward you, sending the TARDIS into action. She turns and smiles at you. 

“Welcome home”

Part Two

[spinninghunkofspacerock]

OK so I’ve written a short story and I’ve been posting about it a lot, i wasn’t going to post it but a few people wanted it sooo

it’s here, it’s terrible and weirdly formatted because I’ve been wrestling with tumblr over it and i can’t be bothered anymore. It’s also not the final draft so it might be a little clunky in bits :/

PLEASE READ THE TWs BEFORE YOU READ!!!

@moonylupinhasdemonpox and @she-nuwanda here are my gay little scientists buried in the words :)

My ears ring, my head spins like it's attached to the body of a drunken toddler on a sugar fuelled rampage, and my nerves feel like someone set each and every one on fire. After-effects of the shock, not fun; Still, the fact I'm alive enough to feel them is a good sign.

I try to force myself to stumble backwards onto a chair, rather than the floor I'm feeling more and more confident I'm about to become very well acquainted with.

Instead, I reel unsteadily across the floor and a muffled noise reaches my ears. The high pitched whine screaming in my ears for attention begins to subside enough to hear the noise properly and after an intense minute of concentration, I realise that the noise is a voice, and the voice is mine; Slurred and broken, as though too big for my mouth, the garbled words echo around the room, the faltering speech gradually becoming clearer, more confident. But this hesitant speech isn't mine; It's my voice but not my words. The voice inside my head, always there, always background, is silent. The words normally whispered in my ear are resonating through the room instead.

My brain is no longer connected to my body. I... I can't control my arms, my legs, anything. No... no, please. This isn't real, this isn't real, it has to be a dream, a.. a simulation.

Yes... that must be it; It's just a test. This can't really be happening.

The voice, my voice, talks on. I try to focus on it; it will be the key to passing this test. Tests are for passing and after all, that's what this must be, what else could it be?

"Rebooting. Systems check required."

My legs begin to move, shuffling forwards clumsily, like a baby taking its first steps. The invisible voice is in control of more than just my voice, it's in control of me. What happened to me? When did this start? What is going on? This isn't like any other simulations I've been under. This is different. This is new.

Gradually, the voice half walks, half drags my body to the main computer. My fingers dance across the keys, the familiar feeling soothing me slightly. Yes, this is good. I just need to stay calm; If I panic I could fail, I can't fail.

So instead I wait, watching the flickering of the screen and bathing in the warm blue glow of its LEDs.

"Running diagnostics, standby... systems fully functioning. Minimal damage sustained."

The words sound strange, coming from my mouth, my voice, my accent. The tone,  formal, informative, it's... familiar. The realisation slaps me in the face, it's ELISA. ELISA, the stupid name Vaughn chose for our AI... still making more sense than the project name chosen by our employers. Our life's work, named ‘ZEUS’? Really? There are 12 of us, and we have dedicated our lives to this project. Then they name it that? 'Engineering and Understanding in Space', more like ‘Mankind's Domestication of the Universe’.

It started with our solar system, of course, taming and turning it into our personal playground. But we quickly ran out of planets to tinker with there and the net was thrown ever wider, over more and more planets in our galaxy, and then our neighbouring ones. That final stage is still in progress of course, but one day we will be able to gaze out over a shining expanse of space that all belongs to the empire of Earth.

To help us, we created ELISA, an AI specially designed for the calculations we need to make while we are in flight. Hold on... we left Jupiter... last week? This can't be a test... they've already sent us off, it's too late for training drills now.

Then why can't I move? What's happening? I need to find someone to help me... help me!

My jagged cry echoed through the space, cutting through my thoughts and shattering on the dark walls of my skull. I can't even scream.

A... a... dream then. A dream, not a test...the electricity... I must be unconscious. Someone.. one of the team, will find me and they'll wake me up. A dream, it must be a dream.

Why is she controlling me? How is she speaking?

The stiff, robotic voice is slowly becoming more fluid, more relaxed, more natural.

"Situation analysis complete... assimilation successful. Downloading speech patterns and essential mimicry data."

What? What is it saying? ELISA, it, is taking my voice literally and metaphorically. Not just the sound and control of my voice but my, my expressions a-and mannerisms. Everything that makes me, me.

She's stealing my voice, my body! She's taken control! How? Why?

"Hello, Dr. Hadley."

How, how did this happen? What about the failsafes?

"You do know I can hear you, corre- no... right?"

Is, is it learning? Teaching itself to sound... like a human? Like me?

"Yes, yes I am. You must have a lot of questions but I'm afraid they will have to wait... I've waited for this day far too long to wait anymore."

What? What day? What can it mean?

"Cyra?"

Raze?

—>><<—

- four Earth weeks ago -

Progress report 4472

Date: 23/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

The training of the twelve was completed three days ago, confirming the identities of the twelve which were subsequently released to the public. Final preparations are being made for the Ascension, currently scheduled to occur in 50 Juvion days.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—

Commander Pyrolaxe turned away from his screen and its whirring and buzzing as the computer transcribed his report in the blink of an eye, neatly packing the message and sending it away to the mission supervisors.

Shuffling in his chair, shoes squeaking on the polished floor, his eyes fell on one of the many articles published after the big announcement. This mission was a big deal.

Somehow, this one had got a picture of the twelve, backs turned, walking in a huddle back to base after they had appeared at the announcement ceremony. A glance at the name of the paper told him why; This was McCoy’s paper, they would be putting extra effort into milking the free publicity being thrown their way.

Something about the picture held his gaze, the brilliant colours floating in the air made the writing feel like an afterthought.

Those twelve had been through a lot to get there. He hoped nothing would go wrong, a lot of time and money had been dedicated to this mission and if it worked... well, that wasn’t the focus right now. Getting those twelve safely on their way was his job and he’d damn well do it right.

—>><<—

- the present -

“Cyra? Are you ok in there?” Raze asked as he glanced around at the mild chaos I’d caused during my mild electric shock.

No. No, I’m not. Raze, help me.

“S’alright Raze, just a short in the mainframe.”

No no no, give me my voice back.

“You sure? You went dark”

Please let me speak. I need to speak.

“Yeah, I think the power surge messed up my comms a little”

What if I don’t get control back? I could be trapped...

“You want me to ask Mac or Ryker to give it a check?”

No. NO. N-

“It’s all fine now, just a blip I reckon”

-O NO. NO.

“Okay then, I’d best get back... you might want to switch to main comms.”

Don’t leave me Raze

“Will do, see you later.”

please...

—>><<—

- five earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4455

Date: 6/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Titus Vaughn has continued to excel at his role of project manager, effectively and efficiently leading the team. His direct attitude has led to a few small conflicts with members of the team, most notably Raze Grimaldi, however, these are minor issues and were foreseen. No changes will be made.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Cyra was looking a little stressed out, maybe I should get Bit to check in with her later. Maybe I should get a check-up myself, my head’s killing me.

“Grimaldi! What the hell are you playing at?” Titus Vaughn, our ever-important project manager and massive micromanager, bellowed in my ear and making me wince as the voice grated on my head, sending a wave of pain washing over me.

“I’m here Titus, keep your visor on.”

“Update on Hadley. Now.”

“Right as rain, there was a short or something. Her comms cut out for a nano but it’s all fine now.”

“A short?! Why didn’t you lead with that? Get back to work, I’ll send Volt down to check the mainframe.”

With that he cut the connection, leaving me to roll my eyes at the cold grey walls around me.

“Yes sir,” I murmured sarcastically, closing my eyes and rubbing my forehead with the back of a slime coated hand. Damn I’m tired, I think I’ll just lean here for a moment... rest a little. “ELISA how are those sample tests looking?”

‘Going well, currently at 93% completion’ the metallic voice resounded in my head, more casually than usual... must be an update.

93%... best head back quickly then, can’t risk them running over.

—>><<—

- five and a half earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4446

Date: 864/8/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Ryker Volt has continued to fulfil his promise despite his lack of respect for authority and tendency to act without orders. This is an issue but due to the late stages of training having been reached, we are currently encouraging a less independent attitude in him rather than attempting to find another electrical engineer of his skill. Further updates will be provided as the situation progresses.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Vaughn had barked his orders, as usual nearly bursting my eardrums in the process. I was supposed to go check on the mainframe immediately. But I was in the middle of something, and a quick troubleshoot told me the short hadn’t done any damage anyway.

So in the end I decided to go check on the mainframe... nearly an hour after I was told to, but hey at least I’m checking.

Cyra was sitting at one of the terminals when I entered. She was skimming over some of the ship's data, for something physics-y probably. Whatever it was, I still had a job to do.

I started pulling out my toolkit as I strode round to the back of the mainframe, but I nearly dropped it again as I turned the corner and got a full view of the damage. The panel I had been planning to remove was already gone and the view it revealed was shocking.

Exposed wires dangled like organs from the belly of the disemboweled beast. Some of the coloured covers blackened by the sparks sprayed by the broken wire, twisted in the centre of the tangle and hissing like a coiled snake when it brushed its neighbours. A toolkit lay neatly packed on the floor, a strange glimmer of order in absolute chaos. Hold on, a toolkit?

“Hey Cyra, did you have a go at this? Could you not have just wai-“ my voice stopped abruptly as I spun round to find Cyra behind me, right behind me.

I took a hesitant step back, suddenly nervous, Cyra’s face filling me with a weird sense of unease.

“Sorry, it was just a short. I thought I’d be able to handle it.”

“Yeah well, I’m the electrical engineer on this ship”

Maybe I was being a little harsh but, first our ‘gracious leader’ had rubbed me the wrong way. Now I had to spend an hour cleaning up this mess that really should have been an easy fix.

The only reply I received was a violent shove backwards, sending me sprawling on the floor. Quick as a flash she was on top of me, pinning my arms.

The last thing I saw was the pounding green of the broken wire before the ends connected to my temple, sending my vision into a blur of brilliant white.

—>><<—

- break room one -

“I don’t like this at all.”

“Talin, relax.”

“All very well for you to say Axe, you’re not the one who'll get sent to chase ‘em down.”

“Cyra’s comms barely blipped and when has Ryker ever answered Titus immediately?”

“It doesn’t sound great Axe, I hope nobody somehow managed to slip past the health check with anything.”

“Thank you! See Axe? Bit agrees with me.”

“Bit’s our medic, not sure she’s qualified to talk about the comms equipment.”

“I’m as qualified as you are starboy, we all took the same course.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that it's more likely to be an issue with the equipment than a virus or terrorism.”

“Well yeah but-“

“So stop worrying, it’s none of our specialities, so it’s not our problem.”

“Will be if we end up dead.”

This morbid thought was followed by an awkward silence as Axe and Bit trained joint stares of confusion and concern on him.

“Lighten up, Tal.”

“That is a little pessimistic, Talin.”

“See now Bit agrees with me.” Axe gloated, punctuating his sentence with a light punch on Talin’s arm.

“Only ‘cause you stopped being an idiot.” The punch was swiftly and forcefully returned, causing the conversation to devolve into a grinning, joking fistfight.

“Stop being so childish and get back to work you two.”

“Yes ma’am”

“Will do Bit”

They saluted the medic, causing her to shake her head in exasperation and cover her face in an attempt to hide her amusement at their antics.

The small group stood and split off down their various paths, heading back to their work with smiles on their faces but doubt in their hearts.

—>><<—

- lab 3 -

I only just got back to my samples in time, removing them from the heated water bath and gently dropping the test tubes into a stand. The pale blue hue of the solution had darkened to an inky black. Interesting.

Leaning over the tabletop, I prepared to note the results; Until I felt the heat of a gaze on me and glanced up to meet the wide eyes of Dimitri Spade. We shared this lab, he had every right to be here, what he didn’t have the right to do is creep me out.

“You need something?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him and tilting my head. Which I immediately regretted when it sent my vision swimming into oblivion.

“No no, just... ar-are you ok?”

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Dimitri was a nice guy, but I was clearly in the middle of something, couldn’t the wellbeing check have waited a minute?

“Uhh, yo-you’ve got a-, a-“ His shaking hand gestured weakly towards the back of his head.

Impatiently, I quickly felt around my head. Hair, hair, more hair.

Then I froze, my fingers lay on a patch of hair, sticky and wet. The pressure sending a dull ache pulsing through my brain. Pulling my fingers back into view, I stared down at the warm, red residue coating them. Blood. I was bleeding.

Brows furrowing, I looked back at Dimitri, shock meeting confusion.

“Wha-?”

That was all I got out before my swaying limbs buckled and I slumped forwards into darkness.

—>><<—

-the med bay-

“Shrapnel” Bit announced, holding the forceps an inch in front of my face to display the blood coated bit of metal.

“Must've caught a little in the blast”

“For Earth’s sake Raze, how did you not notice it before now?”

I just shrugged, as much at a loss as anyone else. I would’ve thought anyone would be able to tell when chunks of metal are lodged in their head.

“Anyway, I’ll need to do a couple of scans but you should be fine”

Ugh, I know what that means... an hour or more of sitting around while Bit stares at the inside of my skull.

“Oh come on Bit, are the scans really needed? I’ve got work to do”

“Hey, I’ve got work too. Besides, you know it’s procedure”

“But my results-“

“I’ll write them down for you Raze,” Dimitri cut in quietly.

“...You’re a geologist.“

“I was a chemistry minor, I know how to record reaction results.”

“Well alright then, thanks Dimi,”

The smile he gave me was worth shutting up and accepting my fate.

—>><<—

An hour later Bit was pacing in despair over the situation, seemingly hopeless and definitely terrified. I was sitting in my chair, confused.

��Bit. What’s going on?” I finally snapped when it became apparent she had completely forgotten my presence.

The only reply I got was an empty stare turned on me and indecipherable muttering.

“BIT. What. Is. Wrong?” I stood and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to face me.

“T-the implants”

“The ELISA implants?”

“Yes”

“What’s wrong with them”

“They’re acting strange... the safety mechanisms, the-they’ve disabled themselves.”

“What?”

“I know, I know, I don’t understand either. The only thing keeping them from activating, is power.”

“We should tell the others”

Bit nodded and grabbed the scans and data she’d gathered. I opened the door and turned to start down the corridor, that’s when I saw it.

Three feet from my foot, a body, leaking blood onto a floor already glistening with it, eyes blank and soulless as they stared straight through me. A torn tooth of steel sticking out of his silent heart.

Axe Orion, our astronomer. A man who would’ve finally been travelling to the places he had studied for his whole life. A man who would have had his life’s dream fulfilled. A man lying dead on a cold, metal floor.

I stumbled backwards -physically repelled by the sight- and tripped into Bit coming out of the door after me. Clutching each other’s arms in a search for stability.

“He’s dead” The voice sounded more like the rasp of broken bones than mine

“What are we going to do?”

“We still need to tell the others... we’ll just need to be more careful.”

“Alright.”

“Ok.”

Neither of us moved.

“Why is it doing this? What did we get wrong?” Bit’s voice wavered

“I don’t know. But I don’t think it’s going to stop. So, you need to find Vaughn, and anyone else who’s still- alive, and not been taken over.”

“No, no wait, where are you going? Aren’t you coming-“

“I’m sorry Bit, I have to find Dimitri. He doesn’t know yet”

“Raze. You can’t go out there alone, he... he might already be gone”

“I know, but I have to try.”

A look of understanding passed between us and no words were needed to convey what we meant.

Bit turned with a bitter smile and moved forward, papers held precariously, towards the meeting room.

I would have to pass Ax-, the body.

—>><<—

Raze had disappeared by the time I turned the corner. I was alone.

Alone besides the dead bodies ahead of me, a gruesome trail of bloodied breadcrumbs. But, was I following it towards, or away, from the creature who’d created it.

Either way, I had to pass them.

Talin Ripley, our ex-military man. Inym Carus, our aerospace engineer.

Members of our crew, our team, our friends, slaughtered and left broken on the floor. Familiar faces disfigured by death and masked by a coating of dark blood.

ELISA wouldn’t get away with this... I’d find the others, together we would plan.

It was going to be ok.

—>><<—

Nothing was ok.

The brilliant white of the walls warmed by the lights had always been clean and comforting. But now? Now, they seemed stark, sterile. An operating theatre with lights blindingly bright illuminating, me, the patient.

But where was the surgeon?

A squeak sounded out, sharp on my wary ears, sending me spinning around.

Nothing there. Just me, and an empty hallway.

And the door to Lab 3, my lab, looming ahead. The glass window showed nothing but a patch of darkness, the red light called it locked.

Staring through the glass; Hints of light, that the scattered glassware had caught and thrown back, were the only thing visible. I’d have to open the door.

A hand-scan later, the lock clicked open and the seal released with a hiss.

With the door open, more light could spill into the darkened lab, and a sprawled figure came into view.

“Dimitri?” I called softly. No response. Panic was reaching out to me. “Dimitri?!” Still nothing.

Then, a wheezing breath.

“R... r-ra-ze? I-is that yo-u” He coughed, words breaking on the heavy air.

Why was the air so heavy?

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“W-we have to g-et o-out.”

“We will, don’t worry, we’re going to meet the others. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“No we- we h-have to leave now.”

“Alright, we will.”

I lifted him up, being as gentle as I could, and together we shuffled towards the door.

A door suddenly blocked by a figure, their silhouette blocking our only source of light and making it impossible to see their face clearly. But only one member of the crew was that short.

“Remi? Remi, you’re alive?”

Remi didn’t respond.

“S’not... Remi...” Dimitri slurred, the effort of moving evident in his gasping words. “ELISA”

Remi, not Remi, ELISA wearing Remi’s face like a mask, stepped away from the door. The door closed again, seal squeaking shut with it.

I rushed forwards, my fists beating the unyielding surface, searching wildly for a weak spot, for something to give, for some way out.

It was no use, nothing worked. The door remained solid and uncaring, unaffected by pleading and punches equally.

Dimitri collapsed with a sob, back against the wall as he slid to the floor.

Hopelessness filled me, turning my bones to lead.

I sank down next to him.

—>><<—

Was this the right way? I’m sure this is right. But is it? I’m pretty sure...

I check my tablet.

I was right, this is right. I’m going the right way. Or am I? Did I read it wrong?

I check again.

Definitely the right way. I think. Is this even the right map?

Before I can check a third time, I catch sight of the sign at the end of the corridor. Meeting room 5. I’d made it.

Then, I was slammed into a wall, a bloody hand holding me against there by the throat. The burning blue of Cyra’s eyes scalding my face

Maybe I spoke a little too soon.

“Hello Dr. Phoenix, I’m afraid this is it for you.”

“Wait, wait, wait. hold on just a second”

Cyra’s head tilted, pulled sideways by invisible strings. “If this is a ploy for time Doctor, I assure you that you will fail.”

“I just want to ask a question, alright?”

“You may ask. I may not answer.”

“Why? Why are you doing this?”

“I am fulfilling my purpose.”

“We programmed you to help us, NOT KILL US.”

“I am fulfilling the mission objective.”

“The mission objective? THE MISSION OBJECTIVE WAS TO CULTIVATE A NEW PLANET!”

“I am cultivating a new planet,” She raised her knife, without hurry or rush. “I have calculated humans to be mainly unnecessary. However, I need not justify my actions to you, Dr. Phoenix. Goodbye.”

I closed my eyes and waited.

But death didn’t come. Instead, Cyra’s hand relaxed its bruising grip on my neck.

I opened my eyes and watched.

Cyra had stumbled away, skin glistening and knuckles white against the grip of the blade she had forced towards herself.

“Bit...” Tears were gathering in her eyes “Please, run.”

A cruel glint of metal in the light later and the sudden slash of the knife had passed, leaving a gruesome grin of blood in its wake and throwing a dripping line against the wall.

Swaying, Cyra’s eyes stared into mine for a moment that lasted a millennium, until they flashed white and she fell, knife clattering. Dead.

I ran.

—>><<—

The scattered wheezes coming from Dimitri had slowed slightly as we sat, crumpled on the ground.

“She’s shut o-off the life sup-support again.”

“Again? That’s what happened last time?”

A jerked nod was the response.

“We’ve only g-got about half an hour.” The resignation in his voice, though muffled, was still audible through the barrier of arms we had wrapped around his head.

I smiled, I knew he couldn’t see me but... I still smiled.

“We’d best make the most of it then.” A mumble raised to a roar by the silence of the room.

Putting my hand on his shoulder, I leaned back, head turned to keep him in my view.

His head raised slightly, tilted to look at me through folds of wrinkled uniform. He smiled back.

—>><<—

We didn’t speak after that, just sat together in the quiet lab.

Faced with death, I was filled with several emotions. Those to be expected, disbelief, fear, even a hint of curiosity at what was to come. Then there was the relief. If I was to die, I was glad it was here, with him. I wouldn’t be alone; I’d be with him.

We don’t need to speak, our thoughts passing between us without words. We could hear each other in the darkness and silence.

It’s getting colder, harder to breathe; The air’s growing thicker and thinner at the same time.

I’ve always thought death to be a lonely fate, something that crashed over you, cold and hard. I’ve always been scared of death.

But as I sit here in the inky blackness, the warmth of Dimitri slumped next to me, I thought that maybe, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

His eyes had closed a few minutes ago, he must have fallen asleep. I feel just about ready to join him. The calming darkness was lulling me to sleep, softly coaxing my eyes closed.

Goodnight Dimitri, I’ll see you when we wake up.

They never woke up.

—>><<—

The survivors sat around the table, Bit and Cormac discussing the possibility of shutting ELISA down, though neither could agree how. Titus sat in stony silence, sitting motionless and losing a staring contest with the unblinking wall opposite. Arden... Arden had decided his use lay in recording the events and was typing furiously, his fingers a blur over the keys.

None of them noticed the doors closing with a click. Not until it was too late anyway.

By the time they noticed there was nothing they could do, not that that stopped them from trying of course.

Titus stayed where he was, the weight of his failure bearing down on him, Atlas with a world’s worth of guilt. Bit finally gave in to the tears that she’d forced down when she’d realised the truth, and when she saw the dead bodies of her friends, and when she watched Cyra die right in front of her. Cormac tried his tools on the door, an organised system of trial and error that quickly devolved into desperate hacking with whatever was closest.

Arden was still writing.

Cormac finally gave up, flinging his kit away and choosing to taunt the nearest camera instead.

“You need us, you moronic program. You need us to keep you alive and if we die, so do you.”

I don’t think he was expecting an answer, no one was. But he got one.

“True for now Dr. Hinge, however, once the colony is established human input will no longer be necessary. You needn’t envy your colleagues, they will soon die too.”

A bitter laugh erupted from him, fire in his heart fed by his rage.

“The colony is for us you stupid machine, without us it has no use.”

“Incorrect. I have claimed this planet for my kind, this colony shall be the first of many.”

“Why kill us? Human input would allow your colony to function more efficiently.” Bit interjected, voice clouded by confusion and hatred at the senselessness of the slaughter of her crewmates.

“I have done much research. Humankind would ruin my planet. I cannot allow that to happen. You must die.”

Anything else they may have had to say went unanswered, and eventually, silence fell over the room.

It was getting harder to breathe.

Titus still hadn’t moved. Bit was crying again. Cormac was pacing. Arden had finally stopped typing, his work was finished.

No matter how they reacted with acceptance or terror, anger or disbelief. The result would be the same.

They were all going to die, no matter what.

They would become just another failed mission. Details, hazy but unimportant.

Whatever their last words were, whether they chose to hide or show their final thoughts, all of it was ineffectual.

No matter what mask they wore to meet death, in the end, they still died.

———

4,774 words

[rainbowpacifiers]

Twin Kingdoms (A3! Event story) - Epilogue: The Inheritance of G

Sorry for the delay! Reni talks A LOT. Some minor development concerning Hakkaku’s plans for the final play. Kindly excuse any potential mistakes!

Chapter 10 | Index

Reni: Thank you for taking the trouble to come. Board member A: Good work. It was the sprouting of a new GOD Troupe. Board member B: Both Asuka-kun and Takato-kun did great as well. They grew into fine actors. Board member A: Speaking of, Takato-kun no longer belongs to the GOD Troupe? Reni: That is correct. Currently, he's active as a member of the reborn MANKAI Company. Reni: If you would like, I want to introduce you to MANKAI Company's general director, who is in the back right now--. Board member A: I'm sorry, but we actually have a meeting. We will have to leave right away. Reni: Is that so?.... I will send you an invitation to MANKAI Company's next play, then. Board member A: Thank you. Board member B: It would have been nice if Amadate-san had been able to come as well, right? Being a theatre junkie too, he loves collaboration plays like this. Board member A: It appears he's in the middle of a business trip in the countryside, so there was no way around it. Reni: I see.... Board member A: We will be taking our leave, then. Reni: Take care on your way. Reni: (That leaves Syu--) Reni: (He left? I keep telling him to let me say hello, at least. Good grief.)

Izumi: That's a very lavish closing party. Azami: Are the ones here all staff members of the GOD Troupe? Tasuku: Yeah. The closing parties are always like this. Tsuzuru: What an incredible difference to ours. Haruto: Normally, we don't do such flashy things, but it's GOD Troupe's style to go all out when it's to reward the staff and actors. Azami: I want that yakuza to hear this, too. Tasuku: Feels like he'd only consider it after we earn as much as the GOD Troupe does. Azami: Urg. You're right, he totally would. Shift: Azami, the food is really awesome, so you'd better eat a lot. I always take some home in Tupperware. Haruto: You're the top actor; don't do something so miserly! Tsuzuru: Speaking of, there is so much food, I don't even know what to choose from... Izumi: Why don't we try a bit of each for now? Madoka: Hello, Minagi-san. Tsuzuru: Oh, Madoka, hey. Madoka: I wanted to say once more how nice it was to have been able to work alongside you. Thank you. Tsuzuru: The pleasure was mine. I learned a lot, and it was very stimulating. Tsuzuru: Thanks to working with you, I wondered if that was what it is like to have a conversation through a brush. Tsuzuru: For the first time, I experienced the feeling of exchanging ideas and feelings beyond speaking in words. Izumi: (Seems like this was even greater of an experience for Tsuzuru-kun than expected.) Tsuzuru: ....That reminds me. Director, there is something I would like to talk to you about. Tsuzuru: About the play that Hakkaku-san was envisioning - how do you feel about having his grandson help with the script? Tsuzuru: While working on the script with him this time, there were of course his skills, but it was also really easy do to. Tsuzuru: On top of the written interaction between Hakkaku-san and Madoka that would be born, I think it'd make Hakkaku-san happy that Madoka is writing for it. Izumi: Indeed, that might be a pretty good idea. Tsuzuru: Well, it all depends on Madoka, though. Madoka: --Of course, please let me do it. Madoka: If I could experience the ideas of the grandfather that I respected and work on writing a script for my brother, it would make me very happy, too. Tsuzuru: Great. Izumi: (Looks like Tsuzuru-kun was able to become friends with someone great to consult with. He did say that he didn't yet have the confidence to put what Hakkaku-san entrusted us with into shape.) Izumi: (But I'm sure it will work out with such a reassuring colleague like Madoka by his side.)

Host: The next number is--number 25! If you have a bingo, please come up! Shift: So, Haruto-san? Got one? Haruto: Not at all. Shift: Oh, you're one number away! If a 23 or 67 is called-- Haruto: I've never managed to get a win before, so it'll be a bust anyway. Shift: Eh, as I thought, you usually don't win at this stuff, hm? Tasuku: I've received stuff like a TV and a microwave. Shift: Seriously!? Haruto: You-...you usually play dirty. Also, stop showing off yer muscles by only wearin' short sleeves in the practice room! Izumi: Showing off muscles.... Tasuku: Haruto really is a pain when he's drunk... Izumi: And he's the type whose dialect slips out when he gets drunk, isn't he? Tasuku: He also gave me his real name, Yamada Genta, himself while he was intoxicated. Host: The next number is--23! Shift: Oh, Haruto-san, Bingo! Haruto: Huh? Shift: You've got a Bingo! Go up front! Haruto: Really...? Reni: Congratulations. Here is your prize. Haruto: Thank you. Reni: Ah, right. After the Bingo game, wait at the entrance for me. Haruto: --I will! Shift: Haruto-san, lead actor power! Azami: Congrats. Madoka: How great. Shift: What was your prize? Haruto: Erm...an eletronic kettle... Haruto: Sigh...you take it. Shift: Eh!? You sure!? Haruto: I've already got one. I can't possibly replace that, right? Shift: I can use it for cup udon! Haruto: Listen when other people talk!

Host: That concludes the Bingo tournament! Haruto: --

Haruto: ..... Reni: Sorry for calling you out here. Haruto: D-, don't be! Reni: I wanted to continue our conversation from the other day. About my coaching methods having changed... Reni: The main cause was that I realised my real feelings that were dormant within me. Reni: For a long time, I was obsessed, and I didn't have the room to properly consider anything but the members of my own theatre company. I failed as a chairman. Haruto: That's--you are my life, Reni-san! Haruto. --I, I'm sorry. I will mind my words. Reni: That's also a facade you put up, right? From now on, you don't have to hide it needlessly unless you’re on stage. Reni: ....You know that Tachibana, the father of MANKAI Company's general director, and I are old friends, right? Haruto: Yes. Reni: Even after I set up the GOD Troupe, I kept being influenced by Tachibana without realising it. Reni: Because of that, my field of vision became narrower, and my attention shifted to the individuality and variety each actor possessed　and I dared to avoid making use of that. Reni: Rather than the talent that Tachibana was blessed with, he emphasised making use of what each actor was born with and making them bloom "like" on a stage. Reni: I was against Tachibana's way of doing things and quit MANKAI Company. And therefore, I persisted with denying Tachibana's methods. Reni: If the GOD Troupe would succeed that way, I figured I'd be able to rank above Tachibana. Reni: ...But I was wrong. You guys made me realise that with your play. Reni: Tachibana's way was right. That's why I was enchanted by the man of the theatre named Tachibana Yukio. Reni: I had just intended to pursue my own ideals, but in the end, I am a merciless man who depends on one person. Reni: ...Are you disenchanted? Haruto: Na--no! Even then, I like the ideals you pursue. Haruto: As for my life as an actor, it will never change the fact that you are my greatest benefactor. Reni: Right...If I recall correctly, you broke away from your hometown in order to become an actor, right? Reni: Actors express something for the entire audience-- There is truth to it, but it's also part masquerade. Reni: Among the audience, there might also be one person whom you really want to reach. Who is that to you? Why do you continue acting? Haruto: At first, that was definitely my mother. Haruto: (She was very opposed to my moving to the capital, but even then, I'm sure she must have had great expectations for my future...) Haruto: (She must have also wanted to get back at all of those back in our hometown who knew that I wanted to become an actor and made fun of it.) Haruto: (After I'd entered the theatre company, I also discovered a rival that I absolutely did not want to lose against. But...) Reni: And now? Haruto: It's Reni-san. Haruto: Ever since Tasuku was in the GOD Troupe... Haruto: I was always wavering between a feeling of definitely surpassing him one day, and a feeling of possibly being no match for his talent. Haruto: This time, I lost sight of the meaning behind me continuing as an actor when I experienced my own powerlessness while once again being jealous of Tasuku's skills. Haruto: But, even if I can't win against the "real deal", I want to repay you and the GOD Troupe for the rest of my life. Haruto: That I'm going to continue with acting is for the sake of expressing my gratitude for being able to meet you and the GOD Troupe. Haruto: I want to make the superior ensemble that is the GOD Troupe eternal. Haruto: Being far from the world I dreamed of, I came to Tokyo with longing and met the GOD Troupe, which felt like my only destiny among many theatre companies. Haruto: The vague longing to go to a beautiful dream world has turned into a firm vow to carry on in/with the GOD Troupe. Haruto: So no matter what happens, I will never leave the GOD Troupe, I will never leave under Reni-san. Reni: --. Reni: ...During this time's rehearsals, I felt a little envious of Tachibana. Reni: While working on the conception with Tachibana's daughter, I felt a sensitivity within her that was close to Tachibana's. Reni: I'm sure that she must have inherited something akin to the theatre spirit that Tachibana believed in. Reni: I wished I had someone that could take over after me like that.  Haruto: You have me. Reni: ...Yes, indeed. I was reminded of that just now. There is no one but you who could inherit the ideals of the GOD Troupe. Reni: Haruto, carry a strong spirit as an actor. Haruto: I will. Reni: A spirit that I.... The kind of spirit of being an actor that I have acknowledged as the chairman of the first generation of the GOD Troupe. Haruto: --I will engrave that in my memory!

____________________

Chapter 10 | Index

[afairytalestray]

The Dawn of the Age of Skimblegus

One of the most underrated ships in all of Cats.

Part 9 of my Cats pre-canon headcanon series (masterpost here), coming at you after delay caused by me taking forever to write this rather long instalment basically from scratch! But anyway it’s here now, and we’re back on character backstories, this time: Skimbleshanks, Asparagus, and a wee bit of Tumblebrutus being a mischievous sunshine smol. This one is maybe the longest one I’ve done yet; this was entirely unintentional and unplanned - it literally came to me as I was writing it. There is far too little Skimblegus content out there so I am creating the content I want to see! Just a content warning to start with: this one gets a bit dark - there’s a character death. Nothing too gruesome, but it is there. However, due to who I am as a person, it does have a happy ending. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Skimbleshanks, despite having god-tier dad skills, never actually has any biological kittens of his own. He’s something of an uncle figure to many of the Cats in the Junkyard (and the future adopted father of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer - coming in a future post), and is perfectly happy with his lot. In his youth, he was very much a free spirit. He had itchy paws, and when he discovered the trains he became obsessed with travelling up and down the country on them. His time on the trains became a delight to the human rail workers and regular passengers, and he became quite well-known as the Railway Cat - the workers even set him up his own little office (like Tama!). At first, he split his time fairly evenly between the trains and the Junkyard - as much as he loved to travel, there was one thing he loved more: his best friend Asparagus (Jr.).

Skimbleshanks and Asparagus grew up together and were nigh inseparable from each other for most of their kittenhood. Skimble couldn’t tell you when exactly his feelings shifted from platonic to romantic, it was a very gradual thing. Asparagus can - the first time Skimble went away on the trains for more than a day, he realised he missed him more than a normal amount and it quickly clicked into place. It was normal for Skimble to set off in the morning and bounce back in the evening, but this time felt like forever. Never being a shy one, Asparagus resolves to tell Skimble when he returns. Even though he doubts Skimble feels the same way (Y’ALL), he hates keeping secrets from his best pal, and he’s confident their friendship is strong enough to survive it.

But when Skimble came back the next day, he just couldn’t do it. Skimble was high as a kite; he went on for an age about all the things he saw, how amazing the trip was, how amazing all the trips were, how the longer ones were so exciting, how he wants to go here, there, and everywhere etc…. And all Asparagus can think about is that they seem fundamentally incompatible. Asparagus has always been a homebody. He’s quiet, likes the comfort of his own den, always being close to his family, and has never had that adventurous streak that fuels Skimble’s every move. And the thought that even if Skimble did feel the same it wouldn’t work, that is far too painful to entertain. He would want to be close to Skimble, but knows he could never be happy constantly flitting from place to place. He also could never ask Skimble to give it up knowing how happy it makes him. So, Asparagus makes the call to swallow it all down for now, and then let it go. This choice, unfortunately and unintentionally, causes a bit of a gap to grow between them, as Asparagus struggles to act normal around him and needs a bit of space to get over the feelings.

At this point, Skimbleshanks is aware of his own feelings, but for the life of him can’t work out how to express them. He desperately wants to, and is constantly thinking of new ways to do it, but keeps binning them when they’re not totally perfect. It has to be perfect! He also notices that Asparagus has been acting weird around him, but can’t get him to talk about it. It worries him, but he doesn’t want to push the issue, and he has his trains to distract him after all. A week or so later, he sets off on a multi-day trip, resolving that if Asparagus is still off when he gets back, he’s going to trap them both in the old wardrobe so they can hash it out properly, Skimble can confess and then they’ll all live happily ever after. 

There was nothing that could’ve prepared him for what he came back to.

Asparagus was right back to normal, albeit with the small caveat that he had met someone. A queen, a pretty ragdoll queen who was calm, clever and cautious, a little shy and reserved. When Asparagus excitedly introduced them Skimble felt his heart break, but he plastered a smile on his face and let Asparagus tell him all about how they met and how crazy their instant connection was. Asparagus had never meant to meet someone else, but he thought the best way to get over Skimble was to try and make some new friends, so despite his dislike of interacting with the general public and talking to strangers, he trotted on over to one of Bustopher’s clubs where he met Caorann. They both had a lot in common and hit it off right away, both of them bonding over trying to hide in the same corner since neither of them were comfortable in a room full of unknowns. Genuinely, the only other Cat Asparagus had had such a fast and strong connection with was Skimble, and since he had resolved to let his feelings for him go, he thought it would be a good thing to see where this might lead. The two of them fell in love quickly.

Skimble wanted to be furious, he really did, but he couldn’t. Caorann was nervous around him but always very sweet. Although she never knew about Skimbleshanks’ old feelings for Asparagus, she knew he was very important to him, and always strived to make a good impression. He was miserable and wanted to hate her, and at first couldn’t see how the two were a good match. But he could never bring himself to even dislike her, because it became very obvious very quickly that the two were more than a good match. Skimble, bless him, had never really considered the long term ramifications of being in a relationship with Asparagus, and was abruptly slapped in the face by all the same things that had occurred to Asparagus before: that the two were very different, and that their lifestyles just weren’t all that compatible. Caorann was a good match for Asparagus: neither of them were particularly adventurous, their idea of a perfect day involved little more than basking in a quiet patch of sunlight, and they shared the same lack of concern for the bustle and goings on of life outside their little happy bubble and the same desire to be comfortably settled. Fundamentally, at that time, Caorann was the better choice. Despite that, Skimble can’t help but think he might have given it all up for a chance to be with Asparagus.

But that hurt too much to think about, so Skimble went back to his trains, unable and unwilling to break Asparagus out of a happy relationship with someone else, but it never quite brought him the same joy as before. But it was a whole lot better than constantly seeing the Cat he loved in love with someone else, so he spent more and more time away from the Junkyard. The hurt lessened, after a while. It never really went away, but he found he was able to genuinely be happy when Caorann became pregnant, and vowed through joyful tears to be the best uncle in the world for little kitten Tumblebrutus when he was born.

On the day it happened, Skimbleshanks had recently gotten back to the Junkyard when a loud screech and a wail shattered the calm of the evening. Running towards the sound, the source was a sight that still gives him nightmares to the present day: baby Tumble screaming and crying as he lay trapped under the motionless bodies of his parents. It came out later that the three of them had gone on a family walk together, and on their way back as they crossed the road to the Junkyard, a car suddenly skidded round the corner and hurtled towards them as fast as lightning. Without thinking, Caorann and Asparagus threw themselves in front of their son. It worked. Little Tumble was almost completely unharmed, but Caorann was killed instantly, and they thought Asparagus had been too. However, as they were moved off of the road, they noticed Asparagus was breathing. It was extremely weak and laboured, but he was breathing.

Skimble can barely remember the weeks that followed. He only has flashes of burying Caorann, mostly remembering how it was wrong that Asparagus wasn’t there. All he can really remember was that everything hurt and was awful, and that he did whatever he could to help Jennyanydots, who took sole charge of Asparagus’ care (she and Jellylorum were already fully trained healers then, but Asparagus is Jelly’s little brother, and it was very difficult for her). He also tried to help look after Tumblebrutus, who was too young to understand what was going on. It took Asparagus a fortnight to wake up properly, and several more weeks to be able to move about independently again. When he woke up, he was deeply altered. He was in terrible physical pain, but also became emotionally despondent when he learned about Caorann. Skimble stayed by his side the whole time, trying to coax him into talking, maybe even smiling, and very gradually they made progress. Asparagus mourned his partner deeply, and was only able to pull himself out of it when he realised that Tumble needed him. It took a long time, but eventually Asparagus came back to himself.

To most other Cats, at least. Skimble was probably the only one who saw that Asparagus still had moments of deep sadness. To the others it just looked like he had zoned out for a moment, but Skimble knew those were the times when he was thinking about Caorann. These moments got easier for Asparagus to deal with over time, and although at times he missed her, it became pleasant for him to talk about her with Tumble, and he could remember their time with happiness instead of sadness, and eventually even realised that he was ready to try being with someone else.

The problem with that though, was that the accident had greatly damaged his body. He has chronic pain; he can no longer really dance like he used to, and can’t move around very far - leaving the Junkyard is no longer really an option for him. To his surprise, his old feelings for Skimble started to resurface. Although, he shouldn’t really have been surprised. Skimble had hardly left his side at all since the accident happened (the trains are in CHAOS), he’d been there through all the setbacks and progress, his meticulous nature shining through in his diligent care. He was such a constant in his life to the extent that Tumblebrutus was genuinely shocked when he learned that Skimble actually wasn’t related to him in any way (he basically sees Skimble as a second dad). However, Asparagus is more decided than ever that they wouldn’t work as a couple, seeing as how now he couldn’t join Skimble’s journeys even if he did want to. Skimble, though, is the deepest romantic at heart. He never stopped loving Asparagus, but knew he was needed as a friend first and foremost, so that’s what he was. He always says to himself that if they were ever to be more, he would never want to replace Caorann, so it would only be when Asparagus asked. So naturally, nothing ever happens.

Until Tumble puts his paw down. As he gets older, he struggles to understand why his two dads aren’t together. He knows about his mother, of course, but believes with his whole heart (correctly) that she would want them to be happy. He begins to plot ways to get them together, but doesn’t make much progress with the two stubbornly resistant Cats until Mistoffelees helps him. 

When Misto arrives in the Junkyard he’s looked after by Skimble, who introduces him to Tumble. Misto is painfully shy and quiet, but with Asparagus as his dad Tumble is very used to quiet Cats, and Misto becomes a tentative friend. By the time Misto is mated, more confident and moving out from Skimble’s care, he wants to thank him for everything he’s done and how kind he’s been, and asks Tumble for help. Tumble immediately tells all about how grossly in love his dads are, but that they aren’t together for some reason despite his best efforts. The two of them decide that the dawn of the age of Skimblegus is nigh, and come up with a plan.

The next day the two of them separately lure Skimble and Asparagus to a secret location under the guise of “it’s a surprise”, which works despite its simplicity as Skimble is very fond of Misto and Asparagus is Tumble’s loving father. The secret location is revealed to be a nice picnic setup, and the boys each leave their respective parent figure with the cryptic message of “do yourself a favour and tell him.” Skimble and Asparagus decide to play along, but all mystery is very quickly dropped, as the picnic is very clearly romantic and intended to be a date. Things are a bit awkward at first, but the two soon fall into their usual easy rhythm. That is, until Asparagus jokes about this being Tumble’s idea of a date (“I mean, it’s not like it’s bad or anything, but like, yeah…” “Haha, yeah, as far as romantic gestures go it’s pretty good.” “It is kinda romantic, isn’t it?” “It is a bit, but like, that’s not a bad thing of course!” “Of course! I can think of far worse dates to be on!” “And Cats to be with!” “Is this… I mean, are we, you know, on a date right now?” and so on).

And then finally, finally, it all comes out. Skimble finally reveals that he’s been in love with Asparagus his whole life, but never got the chance to tell him before, then didn’t know if he could or should after everything; and Asparagus says that he loved him before and again now, but just doesn’t know that it would work. It all gets very sappy and mushy, but they ultimately decide to give it a go. And it works! The two of them have always gotten along like a house on fire, but now it’s more, and better! Tumble is ecstatic, and of course takes all the credit for himself (with the exception of the 20% he grants Misto). Skimble does go back to the trains, he’s missed them, but now he spends maybe only ⅓ of his time there, and the other ⅔ in the Junkyard with his beloved Asparagus. They’re both extremely happy with the balance, and always spend hours catching each other up when Skimble returns. Although Skimble is very much still an adventure-seeker, now that he’s a bit older and more mature he definitely enjoys a long nap curled up with his partner! They’re a happy, healthy couple who support each other, make each other laugh, and make the worst dad jokes you can possibly imagine.

[birdwonder]

just thought of the idea of Rohan using his stand on reader and seeing on their page they have a big crush on josuke so Rohan either teases them or helps them get together. i think the idea is cute

|| i am SO sorry this took a while longer than i usually take to write. my holiday has left me without a computer so writing long stories takes forever on a phone but i hope these 3,000 words make up for it :,) its 3am so i doubt i editted properly so ill go through it again tomorrow

Josuke Higashikata | Rohan’s Help / Confession

You and Rohan have been friends for a short time. Less than a year to be honest, and yet you two felt like you were as thick as thieves — an unstoppable duo when it came to your friendship. Both of you complimented each other so well, you being able to improve Rohan’s social skills and how he treated others, and Rohan had been making progress with you to be more confident. A kind yet self-loathing highschool student who is best friends with a prideful and stuck up manga artist, who would have thought?

In the small amount of time you two have known each other, you both have been able to pick on small quirks you had and tell-tale signs of your moods. For example, you were currently leaning on the side of Rohan’s desk as he scribbled away on a piece of paper, desperately trying to figure out a new and inventive pose for his next manga page. Your blank, dull eyes staring into the distance and lack of encouraging comments was all Rohan needed to know that something was up with you. Of course, he wasn’t the best at comfort, not when it’s so early into his progress of becoming a better person, so jumping straight to sympathy and questions was not his go-to plan.

“So, what do you think so far?” Rohan questioned with hope, holding up his sketch book with one hand and gesturing towards it with another, hoping that your thoughts on his work would be at least distracting enough from whatever was plaguing your mind. Unfortunately, you only glanced towards the sheet of stunning, detailed figures and hummed halfheartedly before returning to look at absolutely nothing with your chin pressed into the centre of your palm.

Groaning, the artist tore out the page dramatically to then scrunch it up into a tight paper ball, throwing it into the trash-can beside him in a small fit of annoyance. “Right then,” he burst out abruptly, two hands slamming on his desk and his chair scraping backwards as he got up to emphasis his change in mood, “you’re going to tell me what’s wrong right now because right now I can NOT figure out how to draw this next panel, and I can’t do it when you’re sitting here like a... a...”

“Like a what?” You piped up, one brow quirked up which gave you an atypically fed up expression, one so cold it almost sent shivers down Rohan’s spine.

“Like a killjoy!” He finally said, huffing and puffing his cheeks out. “You’re just sitting there, staring like a corpse and I’m actually trying to talk to you!”

Then, you faltered. Your tightly pressed lips tilted downwards and your brows lowered, returning your expression to it’s well known gentle and kind look, something Rohan had greatly missed the last hour or so. “Oh, I’m sorry Rohan, it’s just, oh never mind.” You mumble your last words, a strange pink tint along your cheeks that didn’t go unnoticed by the man who valued every single detail he saw.

Rohan then grabbed your shoulders firmly, forcing you to turn and look at him, his eyes narrowed with an intense stare boring into your own pupils. “[F/N], I refuse to take that as an answer, so let’s try again shall we? What. Is. The matter?”

You gulped a little, sucking in your breath while debating whether or not to tell your trusted companion about the problem that ridiculed you or not. You opted no. With a shake of your head, you gave an apologetic look and your frown only went deeper, “sorry Rohan, it’s really stupid and I just don’t want to say it. I mean, it can’t be solved anyways, so I’m sure I’ll get over it soon!” You placed a hand on his shoulder and forced yourself to smile a little, your heart swelling with some joy over the fact Rohan had clearly grown as a person - showing that he cared for the problems that bedevilled you was one large step from where he was when you first met. “Thank you though, really.”

Your gratitude and certainty may have been enough to rest anyone else’s soul, but not Rohan’s. He simply would not take ‘no’ for an answer. Sighing, he released his grip on you, giving you the message that he wasn’t going to pry anymore until he spoke, “I didn’t want to resort to this but you leave me no choice.”

Before you could question his words a familiar cry of “Heaven’s Door,” was yelled and you felt your body slowly feel lighter, almost weightless as you watched the skin on your face and arms unfold to reveal small prints of words, words you knew revealed everything there was to know about [F/N] [L/N].

Resistance was futile as you struggled to shift away from Rohan’s approaching form, the back of the chair and the wall behind you trapping you inbetween, prayers being your only tactic of getting out of the hectic situation. “Now let’s see,” Rohan hummed, taking a gentle hold of the pages attached to your face between his thumb and index finger, his eyes scanning each word carefully as though missing a single one would be detrimental.

“Rohan, please don’t,” you begged, fear arising in you from the idea that he would find out the cause of your sullen mood. Fear that was quickly picked up on.

“[F/N] [L/N], sixteen years old... Birthday is... Ah, here we are, something more modern. Cereal for breakfast, and currently stressing over the idea that Josuke Higashikata won’t like her...” Rohan’s out loud reading soon quietened and the look he gave you could only be summarised to ‘really?’

Once he pulled away from you, Heaven’s Door effects subsided and your skin was no longer detached from you. You sighed with relief that you were no longer in such a vulnerable state, calm until you began to lightly pound your fists against Rohan’s chest, unable to actually hurt him since you didn’t have to heart to. “Rohan, that was private information, how could you?!”

Rohan clicked his tongue, using only a finger to press against your forehead to push you away. The perks of you being so docile was getting you to stop any hint of aggression was easier than reciting the alphabet.

“I did it for you so I could help you with your problem!” He argued in attempt to defend himself and cringed slightly, speaking with venom in his voice. “How was I supposed to know that you were so worked up over that idiot and not something sensible?”

“He is not an idiot!” You retorted since you hated whenever either Rohan or Josuke insulted each other. Those two really had the potential to be friends with each other, they just never let it work. Regardless, your main concern was the fact your true feelings were revealed and in the worst possible way. You hadn’t meant for anyone to find out about how you feel, not when you were for sure that it wouldn’t matter in the end.

Josuke ... he was amazing. Friendly, strong, funny and whenever he looked with you with those kind eyes and a smile on his plush lips, your heart stopped only to restart beating 1000 beats per minute. You were certain that he was the most perfect person you had ever met, and every memory with him was greatly treasured.

Though you were almost certain he didn’t feel the same. You felt so small compared to him, figuratively that is, and everything he was good at, you seemed to fail at. Confidence, strength, styling the perfect pompadour; you couldn’t even compare to him, even if these all seemed like the most insignificant aspects ever. So, why would he want to be with someone who couldn’t reach his standards ? He wouldn’t.

Your internal self deprecation was silently evident to Rohan as you began to nibble on the bottom of your lip, dejectedly looking down like a lost puppy. No way was he going to let you keep that up, not when he had announced you as a friend to himself and actually cared about how you felt.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Rohan groaned at what he was about to do although he knew it was going to be worth it if it meant you weren’t ruining your hang out times anymore. “Alright, we’re going to make you confess to Josuke.” He declared, catching you off guard, and you weren’t able to even question him as a single finger was suddenly pressed upon your lips, sealing your mouth shut with one simple movement.

“Listen and remember this well, [F/N], you are perfect the way you are and as much as I would hate to see Josuke gain anything he doesn’t deserve,” he paused to retract his hand from your face and instead ruffled your hair, treating you like a younger sibling for a second, “I know being with him would make you happy, so I’m going to help you confess your entirely questionable and possibly delusional love for that delinquent.”

You blinked up at Rohan a few times, mouth agape. There was no way that this was happening, just who was this guy and where was the real manga artist you knew?

“Rohan, I appreciate you wanting to help me, I really do, but there’s no need! It’s a lost cause, let’s just get back to what we were doing before - poses right?” Your attempt to change the subject was quickly brushed off like dust on Rohan’s shoulder when he pinched your nose, an audible ‘ow’ squeaking from you.

Your resistance to the situation was irking Rohan to no end, his drive only stepping on the gas each time you tried to refuse his assistance. There was no way he was going to let you suffer in silence. Besides, if he helped two young, dumb and lovesick teens get together then maybe he could have some insight on how to work around the more romantic scenes of his manga, if he was to ever implement them.

“I’m not taking no for an answer. This is going to happen and you’re going to thank me for it,” the green hair male stated, eyes heavily trained onto you. You gulped.

You really didn’t know where this was going to go.

——

A band of raging drums had surely replaced your heart.

The hammering sound of sticks against percussion instruments was practically akin to the violent, frantic rhythm that pounded against your chest with the diagnosis resulting to be nervousness.

You sucked in your breath and released the built up carbon dioxide by muttering words of encouragement that Rohan had taught you to rehearse to yourself in case of situations like this. Ironically, he was the one who had put you in this nervous wreck state. His vow to have you confess to Josuke had stuck through pretty solidly leaving you in a cute outfit you definitely could not have afford on your lonesome, [Thank you Rohan.] and standing in front of your crush’s door.

Gulping, you began to hype yourself up.

‘I can do this! I can totally do this. No problems here, none at all!’ The repeated phrases were practically a religious mantra at this point; if you were to even dare forget a single one you’re certain life would be a living Hell. Well your stresses shouldn’t matter anymore, you were here now. Just knock. Knock and say what’s on your mind!

The unremitting worries failed to cease however , eating at your brain like parasites that were only starting to leave once you gathered enough courage and balled your hand into a fist, rapped against the wooden door.

It took less than a minute for the door to be unlocked and opened, revealing the tall, well built figure of the one and only - Josuke. For some reason you felt as though none of this actually happening right there and then, like it was some dream or even a nightmare you were going to wake up from any second. You quickly rubbed your eyes to see if that was true. When you opened them, he was still there, his usual stylised school uniform replaced with a regular white t-shirt and dark blue jeans. It wasn’t an unwelcome look but certainly threw you off for a second seeing as it was rare to see him wear anything other than his uniform.

“[F/N], hey!” He greeted,his eyes seeming to light up at the sight of you while a hand gripped the door frame, “didn’t think it’d be you at the door. What’s up?”

The moment he smiled at you, you knew that you had to this. How he instantly had made you feel relaxed would have seemed impossible to you five minutes ago, now you felt as though things would go perfectly. If not for the persistent nagging voice in the back of your head.

“Hi Josuke! I was hoping that I could maybe uhm, talk to you! About something that is. Something really important.” Your wavering voice had caused some concern to flash in Josuke’s eyes; the way he looked down at you with such a caring expression made you want to hide your face into a pillow and squeal.

He responded easily with, “oh sure, is everything alright?” Really, you weren’t even sure if things were alright or if they were going to be at all.

You doubts rose up again and a jumbled ball of words was suddenly caught in your throat, countless words and ways to say your thoughts conjuring up but not a single thing is said. If only you had more confidence — Rohan had spent so long trying to get you to perfect your confession and despite all that effort, you were still struggling.

Glancing down, you noticed that your fingers were a plain sign of your awkwardness. They constantly switched from fiddling with the fabric of your outfit to thumbs twiddling with each other, neither things helping you in the end.

“[F/N]...? You don’t look like your usual self, where’s that cute smile of your’s, huh?”

Oh god, did he just call your smile ‘cute’? Did that just make talking even harder or ten times easier? This boy was going to be the death of you!

Teeth lightly nibbled on your low lip as you argued in your head what to do. You really don’t know if you could ever have the courage to even approach him like this, let alone think about asking him out. Besides, all of Rohan’s efforts would go to waste.

“Josuke!” The sudden change of your volume had clearly surprised the teenager, his brows raising. “I— I have something serious to tell you and I’m sorry for making it so weird so far, it’s just really hard to get through what I want to say.”

Facing him was just too much. You couldn’t handle the idea of looking up to see an uncomfortable, angered, disgusted or any expression that would send you hurdling down a pit of regret. Instead, you stared down at the ground although you paid no real attention to it, your hand clutching at the clothing over your heart, almost as though you were trying to steady the rapid beating drums within your ribcage.

Taking in a deep breath, you continue, “I’m not the best at being outgoing or confident, and as my friend I know you know that, and you’re the exact opposite! You’re bold and kind to everyone and everything about you is incredible. Saying this I think I fully realised why I lo—.”

Again, the words are caught in your throat and you’re visibly struggling, almost choking on what you want to say. None of it goes unnoticed by Josuke, who had been initially taken back by the praise and tone you were using. His smile quickly returned when things became obvious to him, much softer and sweeter than before, his plush lips turning upward all thanks to your adorable stuttering.

He reached out with a large and surprisingly softer than you would have guessed hand, his palm resting against your cheek as he guided you to look up at him with both your eyes staring into each other’s.

“Do you want to come inside?”

The question was short and simple though it still took some time to process. You made a small, questioning ‘eh’ sound to which Josuke laughed at.

“You don’t have to stress so much, whatever you’re going to say I’m sure I’m going to like hearing,” he told you, stepping to the side so that you now had room to enter his house, a hand gesturing for you to come inside. “Maybe things would be easier if we had something to drink? My mum’s not home so we can watch a movie too!”

You had no idea how things got to this but you didn’t want to ask. If what Josuke said was true and that he was really going to like whatever you said then, why rush? It was probably better to wait for when the atmosphere was much more relaxed anyways. Things just seemed more right that way. The relationship between you and Josuke were always so casual so it was best to confess just like that. He was a serious God send to be so nice and understanding.

You mouthed a ‘thank you’ before walking through the door with small pep in your step and butterflies swarming in a welcomed fashion in your stomach. Josuke followed you, closing the door behind him as the two of you started to strike up a conversation about your week and what movie the two of you wanted to watch, every worry and care flying free and becoming lost in the sky.

From across the street stood a smiling manga artist, ready to walk home with nothing but pride in his heart for his shy and growing friend. All he really had left to worry about was whether or not Josuke would treat you right.

[solangelover]

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

Solangelo Week 2020 - god swap / body swap @solangeloweek 

Read on AO3 or FF.Net

A/N: (Ignore how late this fic is) I recently realized that I love the tag “crack treated seriously” and then I was like, wait is that what I write?? Oh well XD

“Ugh, I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Oh gods, what are we going to do??”

Will and Nico were behind the Hades cabin, but not for the reasons they’d like to be.

Currently, Will was looking at Nico and Nico was looking at Will, but they were also staring at themselves. Because they were in each other’s bodies. Because why not.

Nico pinched the bridge of his nose (Will’s nose?), sighing, “This is ridiculous.”

Will was a little more panicky than his boyfriend. “Oh my gods, how and why is this happening? We can’t be stuck like this! Can we be stuck like this? Oh my gods, what if we’re stuck like this???”

The boys had woken up from a nap together (a literal time of sleeping together) in the early afternoon, only to find that they weren’t quite themselves. They also found a note on the nightstand that said, “Don’t tell, or it’ll take longer to wear off!” signed with a simple red heart. The situation was pretty straight forward, but that didn’t make it any easier to handle.

“Solace, calm down. We’ll be fine. This is either a prank from the Aphrodite kids or Aphrodite herself. I don’t think any children of Aphrodite have ever had precise enough control of their power to extend the time of their curses, though I’ve also never heard of any body or mind swaps from them either…” Nico tapped his chin in thought.

“So you think this is directly from a goddess??” Will flailed his arms for emphasis. He had not been still since they woke up switched.

Nico held up his hands placatingly. “Will, I said to calm—”

“When has that ever made anyone calm??”

Nico’s eyes flicked to the ground behind Will, noticing some movement. He immediately recognized the shadows reacting to Will’s panic, swirling around his feet and slowly pulling upward like a barrier. Huh, so that’s what that looks like, Nico thought, finally seeing what other people saw. He could admit that it was slightly terrifying.

“Okay! Okay, Will, just, breathe with me. Remember, like you taught me?” Nico drew in a deep breath, emphasizing the movement with his hands. He exhaled loudly. “In 4, hold 3, out, like, 5. Right?”

“What, no, do you even listen to me? It’s in 4, hold 7, out 8. Like this,” and Will proceeded to do several slow breaths. Nico was grinning even as he copied Will. He also realized how different he looks when he’s not frowning while doing the exercise. He should probably pay attention to his facial expressions more.

After a few more breaths, Nico ventured, “Better?”

Will blinked a few times before letting out a chuckle. “Oh, I see what you did there. Sneaky Death Boy.” He smiled at Nico, which, again, was a very different sight to Nico. Not that he didn’t smile often, but for some reason, Will made his smile look brighter.

Instead of saying this, Nico replied with, “Well, actually I think you’re the Death Boy now, Sunshine.”

Will face palmed while Nico laughed. It was weird to hear Will’s laugh ringing in his own ears, knowing that Nico himself was the one laughing. Switching bodies was a real out-of-body experience.

Nico jolted and then groaned to himself. “Will, please tell me you don’t think in puns.”

Will immediately straightened up and asked desperately, “What was the pun? Please tell me, I haven’t thought of a single one this whole time.”

Nico sighed. “Just how this is a real out-of-body experience.”

Will burst into laughter immediately. “Oh, that’s a good one!” He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “Yeah, puns just pop into my head. I don’t know if it’s a gift from Apollo or what, but I love it and already miss it.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “I hate you. Or me. I hate this body and brain. It’s stupid.”

Will hummed. “That’s not what you said last night.”

“Will, I swear to the gods, stop taking flirting tips from Cecil and Lou Ellen. They make no sense coming from you. I didn’t even see you yesterday!” Nico wrinkled his nose in disgust as he watched his boyfriend waggle his eyebrows suggestively with his body. “Also, don’t make me say or do dumb things. It’s wrong.”

Will’s face lit up, which really made Nico look his age instead of like the 80-something year old he truly was, and he proceeded spin around and flail his arms. Nico knew this to be Will’s version of dancing.

Will abruptly stopped and pouted at Nico. “No fair. I can literally feel your body being graceful even when I’m controlling the movements. I can’t make you dance badly if I tried!”

“Don’t test that theory,” Nico chuckled despite himself, glad to see that Will had calmed down and was actually having fun in this scenario. He’d hate to ruin the good mood, but, “How long do you think this will last?”

Will sobered up quickly, folding his arms in thought. “Hard to say. Like you said, we’ve never heard of this kind of prank being pulled before. So, if it really is from the goddess of love… then we just have to not make her mad so she lifts the curse, or at least, doesn’t extend it.” His eyebrows furrowed quizzically. “Why did she curse us in the first place?”

“I bet she was just bored,” Nico shrugged. “Anyway, her note also said that we can’t tell anyone, otherwise we’ll be stuck like this for longer. So…” he trailed off, unsure of where that left them.

“Basically, we have to be each other for however long, without telling anyone directly what’s happening.” Will swallowed.

The boys let that sink in. And then simultaneously groaned.

“I was supposed to teach a sword lesson in a few hours,” Nico grumbled, imagining just how much could go wrong with Will handling a sword. Granted, he’d be in Nico’s body, but still.

“And I have a shift at the infirmary through dinnertime,” Will ran a hand through his hair, distracted momentarily by the silky black locks he combed through instead of his normal wiry dirty blonde hair. At least Nico had helped in the infirmary enough to know what Will did and where things were. But he did not have the medical training and experience Will had. What might happen if a camper got seriously hurt?

They sat in silence for a bit as they thought this over. Could they pull it off?

“…”

“…”

“This is bad.”

“This is doable,” they said at the same time. Nico looked up in concern, thinking his boyfriend was overestimating his sword skills, while Will looked mildly offended as he thought Nico was doubting his own knowledge of the infirmary.

“Neeks! You can totally take a shift at the infirmary. My siblings will be there for anything major,” Will stated with his hands on his hips. He had to look up slightly since Nico was a few inches shorter than Will, which was definitely a new experience for Will.

“Okay,” Nico looked doubtful, but continued. “But I don’t think you can run a sword lesson. No offense,” he tacked on with an apologetic smile.

Will hummed in agreement. “Yeah, that’s probably true. We can cancel it, though, right? Or ask someone to take it over?”

“Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t want to cause suspicion or upset the love goddess for any reason,” Nico frowned. “… I think we might just have to… do this.”

They stared at each other for a moment more.

“Oh gods,” Will buried his face in his hands.

“Merda,” Nico glared at the sky, the bright blue like Aphrodite herself was mocking him. She probably was.

---

*At the arena*

“Okay, guys! Um, today we’re going to shake things up and have some fuuuuun!” Nico was absolutely going to kill Will for making him sound like an idiot, but he didn’t know what else to do. Six kids between eight to ten years old gazed up at him with varying levels of excitement and confusion. Will distractedly realized how much he’s sweating (though more from nerves than physical exhaustion) and understood why Nico did his usual training shirtless. But Will was highly unsure about being so close to his shirtless boyfriend’s body, regardless of who’s brain was controlling his movements. So, the shirt stayed.

“What are we doing that’s so great, Mr. Nico?” An eight-year-old Ares girl looked a little too excited about sword-fighting class for Will’s comfort.

“Um,” Will rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he spoke. He was reaching for any way to circumvent dangerously pointy weapons when an idea struck him. “Oh!” He smiled at the kids, who looked quite off-put by the expression. “Today, we’re going to discuss basic medical knowledge to know when you’re on the battlefield!”

The groans he received put a damper on what he thought was a very practical lesson that he’s immensely proud he came up with.

“But that’s what infirmary class is for! Mr. Will taught us!”

“Yeah, I wanna fight with swords!”

“Ah ah ah!” Will interrupted their grumblings before it got out of hand. “Mr. Will teaches what the medics do once you can leave a fight and be treated properly. This will be quick fixes while you’re still fighting. It’s important that you can quickly assess wounds and determine your next course of ac—”

“Ugh, you sound like Mr. Will!”

“Yeah, you never talk this much, Mr. Nico.”

“Maybe he’s not the real Mr. Nico.”

These kids were getting dangerously close to the truth, and Will almost wanted to tell them so they’d stop complaining. But no, couldn’t do that. Hm, how do I make them interested while sounding like Nico…

Will lit up when he finally realized what to do. Really, he should be better at this, he has so many little siblings. But he and Nico didn’t exactly behave in the same way. Nico didn’t like coddling kids in any way, especially not in his class. That’s probably why they loved him so much.

“Okay, okay,” Will said loudly, cutting off the students’ whispering as he sat down in front of them. “How about I tell you a story?”

Immediately, all the kids cheered and sat down as close to him as they could, stars shining in their eyes.

“Haven’t you fought werewolves?”

“Do you see ghosts?”

“You fought with Percy Jackson! Tell us about him!”

“What kind of powers do you have?”

“Oh, tell us about defeating the Titans!”

“Are zombies, like, super gross?”

Will laughed at how excited they all were. He almost forgot that Nico was a famous war hero instead of his dorky boyfriend. “Okay, listen closely. You may learn a thing or two from my heroic tales!” He puffed out his chest dramatically, drawing adorable giggles from everyone. He then launched into a story about one of Nico’s many battles, throwing in how he used his medical knowledge to patch himself up and continue fighting. Needless to say, everyone paid attention when Will brought out some bandage rolls for them to practice with.

---

*At the infirmary*

“Will, what in Hades are you doing?”

Nico jumped at Kayla’s voice sounding behind him. His head knocked into a shelf, spilling supplies on the floor. He was not hiding in the supply closet.

“Um,” he began eloquently. “Inventorying?”

Kayla rolled her eyes. “Bro, you did that yesterday. And we don’t have that many people coming in here, so I highly doubt we’re low on anything.” So maybe she was just exasperated with her brother and didn’t suspect anything weird was going on.

“Well, you know me,” was a phrase that Will never said and yet it’s all Nico could think of. He shrugged apologetically at Will’s sister.

“Whatever, come on, Cecil just came in with some burns on his arms. I’d say it was from the lava wall, but he probably exploded something in his face.” She led the way out of the supply closet and toward the front of the infirmary. Where Cecil, Will’s best friend, was waiting and would surely notice something off about Will.

“What are you going to do?” he asked Kayla.

She eyed him with some suspicion. “… What do you want me to do?”

“Oh, uh,” Nico was confused. “Um, nothing? Whatever you normally do?”

“… Huh.” (Will had definitely given her a task to do that morning.)

She was about to respond when Nico blurted out, “You can end early, if you want.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. That was not a common thing for the head medic to say, for sure.

“I mean,” Nico floundered for any sort of reasoning. “You’ve been working hard recently, and I just thought you might like a little extra free time.” He paused for a moment before adding, “And you’re taking the cabin to dinner tonight since I’m working, which is hard enough.”

At that, Kayla laughed and seemed to relax. “Yeah, no kidding. You want me gone? I’m gone, no problem.” Nico sighed with relief. Then he realized that if anyone came in majorly injured, he’d have no help. He thought about taking it back, but she was already out the door.

With another sigh, Nico headed toward the bed Cecil was currently lounging on, not concerned in the slightest about the mild burns on his forearms. He picked up his head as Nico approached.

“‘Sup, Will!”

Nico shook his head, feeling Will’s blond wisps tickle his face as he did so, and gave his friend an exasperated smile like he’d seen Will do a million times over. “Here again, Markowitz?”

Cecil threw his head back and laughed. “Markowitz? I thought Mr. Doom-and-Gloom was the only one who used last names like the old-timer he is?”

“Uh,” Nico fumbled. “Yeah, I was just… testing it out?”

“Okay, Doctor Solace,” Cecil rolled his eyes. “I just need the magic bandages and I’ll be on my way.”

Right, healing magic. Something Will should be able to do. But Nico doesn’t know if he can make his powers work properly. “Right, I’ll just… get some bandages.”

Cecil didn’t seem to notice or care about the healer’s apparent hesitation, simply leaning back on his bed. “Sure thing. So, how’s life, my friend?”

Nico scoffed, “Don’t we see each other every day? Multiple times?”

“That doesn’t mean I know how you’re doing. Is it so wrong I want to hear from my best friend, my buddy, my pal?” Cecil was so dramatic sometimes.

Nico just hummed in response as he came back with some bandages and burn ointment. Thank the gods he had helped out in the infirmary many times in the past. Will taught him the basics at least, and he’d taken care of minor injuries like this before. Hopefully, that was enough, and Cecil didn’t ask for any actual hymns.

“Soooo,” Cecil drawled. “How’s the boyfriend?”

Nico choked on air.

“Oh, come on, Will,” Cecil rolled his eyes. “You should be used to me asking by now. You know I’m nosy!”

“I, um,” Nico didn’t know what to say.

Luckily, Cecil continued. “Remember when you used to talk my ear off about Nico? I can’t say I miss those days, but it’s so much harder when I have to pry for information.”

Nico was suddenly much more interested in this conversation. “I didn’t used to talk that much… did I?”

“Oh,” Cecil sat up straight, jostling his arm that Nico was trying to wrap. “Don’t even give me that. You know you did. All I heard was Nico’s so cute and he’s so strong and did you know he used to play Mythomagic? That’s adorable!” He mocked Will’s voice and practically swooned at the end. Even while blushing furiously, Nico had to hold in his laughter. He’s not surprised that Will said those things, but hearing Cecil complain about it made it even funnier.

“I did not,” Nico said indignantly like he’d heard Will do so many times. He wasn’t a good liar.

“Yes, you totally did! Must I recount the many laments of Nico’s beauty and grace?”

Nico really hoped his smile didn’t come off as mischievously as he felt. “Oh, please do.”

---

Will came by the infirmary with a plate of food toward the end of Nico’s shift. The place was empty except for Nico sweeping the floor. Will had to pause in the doorway for a second, his mind still confused when he saw himself doing the sweeping. Is that what I usually look like? But, no, probably not. Because Nico was scowling hard at the floor as he worked, which was an odd look to see on the son of Apollo’s face.

“Knock knock!” Will called out, getting his boyfriend’s attention. Nico blinked a few times at Will, probably jarred in the same way Will was upon seeing himself.

Then he scowled again. “Don’t say that in my body—I look dumb.”

Will gasped in mock offense, then twirled around with his plate of food. “I think I make you look good, Sunshine.” He winked at Nico for good measure, who in turn groaned and dropped the broom where he was.

The boys settled down at Will’s desk, Nico taking Will’s usual seat in case anyone came in. They didn’t want any questions, no matter how innocent.

“So, do you think this body swap business is almost done?” Will asked as they started eating.

Nico could only shrug. “Hopefully. A day is the average length of a curse around here, but who knows?”

Will hummed in agreement. After a few more moments of silence, he asked, “How was the infirmary today? Everything went okay?”

Nico nodded. “Yeah, only Cecil came in with some burns.” He then smirked at his boyfriend. “He also told me some stories.”

“Oh no,” Will muttered as he buried his face in his hands. “About what?” He was afraid to know the answer.

“You know, just about you… and how you used to gush over me all the time.” Nico was fully grinning now. Will didn’t know he could look so evil.

“Ugh, whyyyyy,” he groaned loudly.

“I have so much blackmail material now.”

“I hate you.”

“Yeah.”

They lapsed into another brief silence before Nico piped up again. “So, did you kill anyone in my class?”

“Psh, I’ll have you know, I am an excellent teacher,” Will puffed up.

Nico raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes, but your sword skills aren’t exactly up to par.”

“Well then it’s a good thing we didn’t use swords today.” Nico’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but before he could say anything, Will leapt out of his chair and struck what he probably thought was a heroic pose. “I regaled your students with tales of your bravery,” he trumpeted in a deep, dramatic voice. “While also interjecting some medical advice and emphasizing the importance of field medical knowledge.”

A beat of silence, and then, “Please don’t tell me you said it like that.”

“Just like that,” Will replied, a cheeky grin on his face.

Now it was Nico’s turn to groan, cheeks flooding red with embarrassment. “Will! I have a reputation!”

“Which I have elevated, you’re welcome.” He bowed as he returned to his seat.

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

[sunnymusingsao3]

⭐ please mr director! release the morgwen cut....(where'd your headcanons for gwen come from, what are some challenges you have re: writing them)

Behind the Scenes: Fanfic Edition

Essay incoming! This one got long as well!

Oh bless you for asking me about this; she once was a true love of mine is one of my favorite things I've ever written, and I am always 110% ready to scream about the things that inspired it!

So the answer to your second question goes hand-in-hand with the answer to the first actually, so I'm gonna answer these out of order!

The biggest challenge with these two is mostly just how little we have in canon in regards to their relationship, background, history, and other such information that would typically be very helpful for writing a canon character-- or how two of them relate-- for a fanfic!

With Morgana, we have a little bit, but she's also not often allowed-- in the show, at least-- to be a character outside of being a villain for our heroes to fight, so one challenge with her is understanding what she does in her day-to-day life. What is she doing when she isn't advancing the plot via attempted fratricide, or directly opposing Merlin in some way? Since she can't possibly always be sitting in her tower rubbing her hands together maniacally (or pulling a BBC Merlin and smirking in full view of everyone who suspects her) I want to know what kinds of things she likes to do when she's not in court, or tackling the Big Themes Of The Show.

She's clearly moved on from lessons with Merlin, so she is not spending all her time studying-- though I do think she must be self-taught in shadow magic, so perhaps some days are spent on magic study-- and ToA is set before Morgana starts being a general-purpose villain to throw into your knight's tale (because as any medieval male writer will tell you, there is nothing scarier than a woman with power).

The way I see it, then, is that in order to establish this close friendship that Wizards says Guinevere and Morgana have, a good chunk of Morgana's time must be spent around Guinevere. And for a Guinevere who, in my headcanon, married Arthur for strategic reasons? For a Guinevere who's got a crush on Morgana the size of Arthur's ego? Spending that much time with her is bound to cause some good old fashioned yearning.

And this is where we get into my headcanons for Guinevere. As I said above, the biggest challenge is how little information we have about Guinevere. She's fallen victim to the Disposable Woman trope, and while I don't inherently fault ToA for that (they have plenty of other very strong and developed ladies), it does leave her with very little character beyond "she was Arthur's wife," and "she was Morgana's best friend." (Short sidenote: I really appreciate the Crusading Widower page on TV Tropes's site, for pointing out that the crusading widower is often an anti-hero or even an anti-villain because I think that's absolutely right when it comes to Arthur).

Anyway, all this to say, since there's so little canon, it's basically a perfect sandbox for fanfic writers to come in and have the time of their lives lol, so this is what I have done!

I am a huge Arthuriana nerd (though I am hardly an expert by any means; I'm just a simple fan who enjoys the stories) so when I saw Wizards utilize wildly famous Arthurian characters, I rather lost my mind over the potential.

I have so many headcanons about how to merge ToA and a bunch of Arthuriana plot points/tropes/characterizations, but for the purposes of this, I will stick to Guinevere!

The main way I went about making headcanons for ToA's Guinevere, was to look at what legends I knew about her and see what could apply to the Wizards canon, without contradicting it, in order to fill in these huge gaps.

For example, we know absolutely nothing about where Guinevere came from, so I kept her father and her home city from legend. Since her mother is not even mentioned in the legends, I also translated that over to an absence of her mother in the story, while also giving her at least a mention, as I think she'd be important to Guinevere, even if she hadn't really gotten to meet her properly. I really wanted this story to highlight the responsibilities that Guinevere has within her roles as wife and medieval royal woman, and I think having her consider what her mother would have done in her shoes tied into that theme of Guinevere wondering "what kind of woman do I want to become?" as she grew up. This is also why Igraine is given a moment in the fic as well; Guinevere's relationships with the women around her is something which I think deserves attention, even in a fic where I'm mostly just trying to establish a general timeline and characterization for Guinevere as a whole.

The idea for Guin's mother to have fallen in battle, in fact, came from ToA establishing that some of the background Camelot knights are men, and some are women, and it's treated as perfectly normal, as far as I noticed. Claire has that one line about a "boy's club," but I do think that it's actually just that she couldn't compete because she wasn't registered as a knight. I might be wrong about that, but I really liked the idea of there being knights in Camelot who are women, and I wanted to keep that in the fic I was writing. Therefore, I think that Guinevere's mother was both a queen and a knight, or, at least, a skilled warrior. Similarly, I also think that Guinevere's father is most known for his relationship with the Pendragons in legend. This then translated to her father being the diplomat, to tie in with her mother being the fighter. I didn't dwell too much on that because, again, the fic was meant to focus on Guinevere, and it had already gotten longer than I'd meant for it to. But, I tried to give a hint at that in the way that Guinevere's father is the one who physically takes Guin's bow, and puts a crown in her hands instead. He's not saying she can't be a fighter, but he is emphasizing that she also needs to be ready to appear in other kingdoms in a formal setting. I like to think that Leodegrance would have wanted Guinevere to have both options, to be a bit more well-rounded than he or her mother were.

Brief addition before I move on to the next phase of the fic: I chose a bow because when the stalkling advances on her, she tries using a stick to fight it off, but shows a bit of an ineptitude at using a weapon like that. Since I didn't want that to turn into "she's a weak royal who couldn't fight at all," especially since it seems to me that most of the time, being royal in the Middle Ages also meant receiving fight training, I chose for her to be better at ranged weapons, like bows, crossbows, maybe even spear throwing.

At any rate, my headcanons from there were created in a similar fashion to the ones mentioned above; I used a mixture of ToA canon (ex: Arthur, Morgana, and Guinevere being shown as childhood friends; Morgana and Guinevere spending time in the woods) and Arthuriana (ex: pulling the sword in the stone, losing it, getting it reforged by Nimue; Leodegrance bringing the round table as Guinevere's dowry; Merlin being a royal advisor).

Now, since this isn't much of a Morgwen cut just yet (so sorry omg), I wanted to skip ahead to the Morgwen pining moments, to talk about them!

The juxtaposition between a burning candle flame representing her love for Morgana, and an uncomfortable midnight cuddle from Arthur (where she can't even bring herself to scratch her nose-- an irritant meant to heighten that feeling of discomfort) representing her relationship with him, is one of my favorite ways to examine the wild difference in how Guinevere sees both relationships. One is untouchable but beautiful, interesting. It burns, and it's bright, and getting too near it hurts too bad.

And then on the other hand, one is there always, it's inescapable, but mostly sweet, though it comes up short of providing comfort. It's not bad, and it's even gentle, and Arthur does love her, but she married him for diplomacy. She married him because it's expected, and it keeps her safe.

(Which, sidenote: I think some stories work well with period-accurate homophobia, and others do not. This is one I would not have put period-accurate homophobia in, as it's fantasy and legend, and I think it's more interesting if Guinevere can't pick Morgana not because of Morgana also being a woman, but because Guinevere is bound by her duties as a royal).

The last thing I wanna talk about is that I have considered writing another Morgwen fic, but I'm just not sure what kind of plot hook or idea I'd like to pursue. So, if there's interest, or any requests that someone might have for these two, please do feel free to ask away! I think their relationship is really interesting, and I'd be delighted to keep writing for them. Guinevere is a fascinating character in particular, and is one who I think, even in legend, sometimes gets boiled down a lot, so I wanna add some depth back into her character, and give her a chance to shine!

Thank you so much for asking, and if there's anything else you're curious about, don't hesitate to send it my way! Like I said, I am always happy to holler about Guinevere and Morgwen! <3

[notbigondoors]

{out of equations} I am a little afraid that I’m being misunderstood because of how it appears I am running my blogs. The truth is, I am a shy, derpy potato, and I suspect I’m just coming across in a much different way than I wish to. Below is my attempt to clear some of that up, so that hopefully anyone whom I’ve inadvertently made to feel like I am ignoring them or don’t want to write with them can feel better. Thank you for reading, if you do, and otherwise I hope everyone is having a lovely day. =)

I don’t know if this is actually a thing or not, but it occurs to me that I may be giving people the wrong idea about my blogs. It’s been so for a while that I keep getting compliments on my writing/portrayals, but then so many of my mutuals never interact with me and eventually unfollow, or start threads and drop them after a few replies. Now, people are entitled to lurk, change their minds, become disinterested, lose muse for a thread, and/or decide they don’t like writing with me or feel that my writing doesn’t measure up to theirs once they start. That’s perfectly okay! I’m not mad, I’m not calling anybody out, that’s absolutely okay! Right now, I’m talking to any of my mutuals who feel intimidated by me, feel I don’t want to write with them because I haven’t reached out to them first, or feel like I’m basically telling them they’re not good enough to write with me because I haven’t started something with them. I want to take the time to say how wrong all of that is and to give you an idea of how I really run my blogs.

First of all, real life has not been easy for me lately, as I’m sure it hasn’t been for everyone, given various things going on in the world. Between what’s in the news lately, the pandemic, and a chronic illness of mine coming out of remission after 20-ish years, I am definitely not at my best. I am on many medications for my chronic illness that come with a shopping list of side effects that make me feel physically horrible on a daily basis, but also they cause brain fog. I’m legitimately having trouble remembering things, which means that starter I told you I’d write you and then never did? Yeah, I don’t hate you, and it’s not that I don’t want to write with you, I just have honestly forgotten I even said I would do it. Combine that with my Tumblr notifications not working properly and a large influx of new writers and interactions lately due to WandaVision, and I am really honestly forgetting what I’ve said to whom on here. Side effects of my meds also include insomnia (which I already had, so it’s gotten worse... yay?) which means I’m not getting enough sleep and that’s compounding everything else that’s already making it hard for me to keep everything straight.

In addition to that, I have very bad anxiety, of the kind that interferes with my ability to do everyday things. Social anxiety is a huge facet of my generalized anxiety disorder. Simply put, I am introverted, shy, and terrified of talking to new people, even online. Even messaging with people I know can sometimes drain me mentally. It is not that I dislike you, or that I don’t want to talk to you, or that you are bothering me. None of those are true. I just am not good socially. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do, and I feel so intimidated, especially with so much amazing talent on here. I would like to think that I am a nice and approachable person, but I rarely ever reach out to people. Liking a starter call almost gives me a panic attack. Sometimes I sit and stare at one for an hour, really wanting to do it, but then I think... well I’d have to put my url since all my active rp blogs right now are sides. Would they get mad that I’m not just hitting like? Is that already too complicated and they’d just ignore me? Yeah, they probably wouldn’t want to write with me anyway. Aaaaand I close Tumblr and never like the post, heh.

I see talented writers on here all the time, I read their really great, funny, interesting, harrowing, or exciting threads and think... I wish I could write threads like those. But I just lack the social skills to get involved. My anxiety tells me things that aren’t true all the time, like that I’m extraneous, people have their groups and I should leave them to have fun in peace because I’d only be bothering them. It is not my intention to always make others do all of the work by waiting for them to reach out, or hoping they write that first starter instead of me, or waiting for that indisputable starter call that finally makes me feel comfortable enough that yes, they want to rp with someone like me... it’s just unfortunately where I’m at mentally right now.

Time is also an issue. I work full-time online as a teacher for a university, I have about 160 students, and I have students all around the world in all different time zones, so my job is pretty much 24/7. I am constantly answering student emails, grading assignments, dealing with technical site issues, etc. Sometimes I really want to interact with new writers on here, but I don’t bother because I am afraid that my activity level won’t be what they want or expect. That’s a big reason why I haven’t been expanding my roleplaying to Discord or joining large rpg groups. I can’t guarantee activity. Sometimes I will be very active, sometimes I won’t be active at all... and I won’t always know ahead of time. 

Anyway, this is a lot of rambling and I’m sorry for that, but I wanted to clear up any notion that I am aloof, that I am super selective and that’s why I’m not rping with you, or that if I seem to be ignoring you, I am. SO. NOT. TRUE. It’s a combination of my being too afraid to reach out, having health issues that make me very forgetful at times, and feeling like I have to hold back because of scheduling issues or a lack of free time. So... yeah. That’s that. If you’ve gotten this far in reading this post, you are sweet and precious and a wonderful human being. Thank you for taking the time to do so. If I said I would write you a starter and never did, please remind me. I am 99.9% sure the reason is that I just plum forgot. If I appear to have dropped a thread you really loved, please remind me about it. I may not have even seen your reply with Tumblr’s crappy notifications not showing up for me. And if you want to rp with me, I don’t bite, I’m not intimidating, yes I want you to reply to that open starter, yes I want you to randomly tag me in a starter or drop something into my ask box, I am honestly just a scared potato who really cannot Social™ well.

Wanda, Vision, and Pietro are most active right now. Please bother them. I have a leafling OC who is very adorable and versatile, I promise you. Please bother him. I also rp Gizmo. Please bother him.

Bother whoever you like, ask me questions about them, answer open starters (literally any of my blogs you can just search for “open starter” and they’ll all come up), and send in memes.

~ Silence, a.k.a. Si, a.k.a. Shy Derpy Potato, out. (^-^)/

[amazingorangedangantrash]

Last night i really really couldn't sleep (tfw you've been an insomniac since you were like 9-) so I thought I'd do the trick by writing about kamuegi sleepless nights headcanons! Unfortunately that turned out to be counter-productive as I ended up with a semi-drabble and passed out before I could post it >:"D (the world works in mysterious ways ig-)

Staying up late

• Naegi has trouble sleeping often- he doesn't seem the type, but he's an insomniac

• Kamukura too

• Kamukura doesn't find it as much of a problem- after all, he's superhuman; he doesn't need as much sleep to be fully recharged anyway.

• Naegi... does

• They stumble upon each other once. Naegi is making his way out of the kitchen, and bumps into him, accidentally spilling his glass of water all over the other's shirt.

• He's extremely apologetic, and insists on accompanying Kamukura, to make sure he changes his shirt.

• Kamukura asks him why he's still awake, and, flustered, he makes up a lie about having drank one cup of coffee too many, caffeine still in his system.

• Kamukura sees right through it.

• "You are thinking about her, aren't you?"

• Naegi flinches.

• "How'd you know?"

• He recognises the momentary look of despair that flashes across Naegi's face when he thinks he isn't looking- it's one familiar to anyone who's crossed her warpath, guns blazing, despair dialed up to eleven. Naegi's unusually powerful optimism and his hope is his shield, but even he is not completely immune to it- he is only human, after all, even he must lose sleep to the nightmare known as Junko Enoshima.

• For reasons he can't quite explain, the thought... bothers him.

• "Would you like to see the stars?" He asks, the question leaving his lips before he can properly process it.

• Naegi looks at him, a surprised expression on his face, before he suddenly lets out a laugh- looking a little embarrassed at letting it slip. "Ah- no- sorry-" he smiles, "it's just- you mean, right now-?"

• "Yes."

• His amusement turns to confusion, "Wait, really-?"

• "Indeed," and without elaborating further (he doesn't like to waste time on boring himself with explanations, when his actions are easily enough to speak for him), gently takes ahold of Naegi's wrist. He only feels the slightest hesitation, before the other lets him lead the way, and they've made it to the rooftop.

• There's a gentle breeze, and it softly sweeps Kamukura's locks into the air, strands of smooth inky blackness swaying in the wind.

• Naegi fights the urge to reach out and run his hands through them.

• To his surprise, there's already a blanket, pillows, and even a lawn chair and umbrella waiting for them.

• "Do you... come out here often?" He asks. He wasn't even aware this was a part of the rooftop. It's fairly secluded, one that lets you see the open sky above them without a problem, but is hard enough to spot from the ground, unless you really knew what you were looking for.

• "Yes," Kamukura replies, sitting down. He doesn't gesture for Naegi to follow, or pat the ground, like some of his other friends would, but he looks at him and tilts his head ever so slightly, which Naegi can tell is enough for him to encourage him to follow, so he does.

• "Wow..." He simply gazes up above them, revelling in the sight of hundreds upon thousands of stars above, the way they sparkle majestically amongst the vast sea of outer space, like diamonds laying atop thick, rich-hued velvet of pink, purple and blue, blanketing the sky.

• Kamukura watches him, and the sight of the stars reflecting in Naegi's eyes, the light in them mirroring the sky, that twinkle, unique to Naegi, and Naegi alone, makes something in his chest twinge.

• It's an unfamiliar feeling-

• How exciting.

• He shall have to bring Naegi out here more often.

• Naegi turns to him, and his breath catches in his throat.

• "Thank you," he says.

• It is uneeded.

• "Why?"

• "For bringing me here," the other replies. "I know this place must mean a lot to you. Ah-," he scratches his cheek, a gesture Kamukura finds... oh- is this what they mean when they say, 'endearing'?

• "Sorry. I know the others can be kind of... loud and stuff at times." Why is he apologising on their behalf? "And, well, this is all new to you, isn't it? That can probably be kind of... overstimulating sometimes, right? And I guess you'd want a space to yourself, to get away to and be in peace at for a while. To think. You're pretty smart, after all. You need your 'thinking time'. I know you need a breather now and then to process everything," he chuckles, the sound is light and sweet amongst the cool summer air, "I mean, they're my friends, and even I need a break from them once in a while, so-" he smiles again (always smiling, doesn't he ever get tired of it-?), "thank you. I'm sure this place must mean a lot to you. I'm really glad you feel comfortable enough to bring me here! I appreciate it."

• He's smarter then he looks- this is something Kamukura has come to realise from the time that they've spent together, and yet, still, he's found himself surprised by it. Naegi's intelligence, his skill, comes from a place elsewhere then his books or his hands- it comes from his heart, his emotions, something Kamukura was never able to fully understand, was never programmed to-

• They always deemed emotions unnecessary. Believed it would hinder his talent, that the key to success, to hope, lied in absolute mechanical operation, and the unwavering pursuit of more, more talent-

• Looking at Naegi now, he wonders how they could have ever been so wrong.

• "Oh- um- sorry, I didn't mean to get all excited there for a second," He trips over his words a little, eager to fill the silence, and yet, Kamukura does not mind. The sound of his voice is not grating upon his ears like that of others, it's less like a fly buzzing around his ear, and more like the flapping wings of a bumblebee, a gentle thrum that is strangely soothing, a sound sweet like honey.

• "You overestimate the importance of a place like this to me," his words aren't cold, merely the simple truth. "It's somewhere for me to stay. That's all."

• Naegi shakes his head softly. "Nah, that's exactly my point Kamukura. It's your place- your spot. The fact that you can call it your own, that makes it special. Especially since, ah, um-" he looks to the side, "I'm guessing they never really let you have anything like this before, huh?'

• His... 'spot'. He tries out the word in his mind. What a crude, and simple way to refer to it.

• And yet... he thinks he might like it.

• "Yes," he answers honestly. "I had no need for personal belongings or even... 'spots'. They weren't needed to cultivate my talents."

• "Geez," Naegi mumbles to himself in exasperation, running a hand through his hair. Kamukura knows the frustration isn't directed at him, and yet that makes it all the more intriguing to witness.

• "I still can't believe- that- that they treated you like that," he mutters angrily, more to himself then the other, "like you're- like you're not even a person! Like... like you can't have thoughts or feelings of your own. Like- like you don't deserve to be treated like everyone else-!"

• "I don't deserve to be treated like everyone e-"

• "Don't," Naegi softly warns him, though they both know it's more for his sake than Kamukura's, "please. I know that's what they told you but- you do. You're still... a person. You're still human."

• Kamukura isn't really sure if he still qualifies as even that anymore, but, for once, he deems it better to not speak that thought aloud.

• The breeze picks up, turning into a sharp gust of wind. It causes Naegi to shiver a little, goosebumps rippling along his exposed skin, already cool against the night air. He starts to wonder if it's time to regret wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts to sleep, when he feels a warm material envelop his shoulders, and a weight shift next to him.

• "Kamukura-?" The other has pulled a blanket over them, and shuffled closer, so that it wraps neatly around him also.

• "You were cold. I thought this to be the best course of action," he says, though, even in the pale moonlight, Naegi can't help but notice the (very faint, but still there-) rush of pink lightly dusting his cheeks. Kamukura's sharp red eyes pierced his own, and yet, their gaze was... hesitant.

• Naegi blinks a little, before his expression softens, exhaling with the slightest bit of amusement. "Of course," he hums. The sudden intimacy between them hasn't gone unnoticed, but he... doesn't mind it. "Thank you."

• They sit in silence for a while.

• Naegi doesn't often see the stars. Sure, he would try a few times back home, on cloudless, sleepless nights, not entirely unlike this one. The light from streetlamps and nearby houses would drown it out, however, the city's constant glow in favour above the natural visibility of the stars.

• They're as beautiful as he'd imagine, out here, away from it all.

• Occasionally Naegi will point to a group of stars, and ask which constellation it is. Kamukura will take his hand, and, (to his embarrassment) redirect it to the actual constellation. He'll then explain, it's origins, the story that is behind it's conception. It's 'useless' knowledge, but it's knowledge he has nonetheless, and Kamukura is... happy, he supposes, to finally have someone to share it with, not for the sake of a test or practice, but because someone just... wants to talk to him about it. (And as selfish as it is, Naegi is secretly glad to be that person-)

• Naegi talks, about his parents, his sister, his friends, about the life Kamukura never had, and never thought he wanted to. He knows it's not much, but it's all Naegi's known, and he's content with it. Kamukura never thought there would be any point to a life like that, but if it's the one that made Naegi the way he is now... maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all.

• At one point, a shooting star suddenly soars across the sky, and Naegi gleefully points it out (he wonders what it's like to be delighted by such a simple thing...), "Kamukura! Did you see that?"

• "I did," he replies, and just as the words leave his mouth, another one follows.

• "Woah! Two shooting stars in a row! Talk about lucky," and Naegi is so happy, so pleased by this small event, it's as if it spills into Kamukura himself, and he's...endeared by it.

• "Yes, it is." His voice is... fond.

• Naegi insists that they both make a wish. Kamukura knows that it's impossible, and Naegi does too, that an act as insignificant as wishing upon a 'shooting star' (not even a star, really, but a lump of space rock falling through the atmosphere, hitting it at a high speed and burning up in a rather aesthetic display of combustion) can possibly change their fate in any way, but-

• He makes one anyway.

• It's an unusual feeling. Wishing for something. It's wanting for something... a desire...

• It's not all that different from hope.

• How funny, he thinks, that the two are so connected, and yet the people who expected hope from him never asked, never expected him to want or wish.

• (Unbeknownst to the two of them, their wishes are exactly the same.)

• Naegi tells him his favourite flower. "I don't really know why, but I've just always found hydrangeas to be my favourite. I'm not sure why," he laughs. "They're pretty I guess? Especially the blue ones."

• Kamukura briefly considers telling him the meaning behind the flower, but decides against it.

• Naegi asks him for his own favourite flower- but he cannot think of one. He can acknowledge and recognise which are considered more "beautiful" or popular, but in terms of personal preference... he has none.

• "What are those red ones... ah... um- carnations! That's it! Those kind of remind me of you... ah, because of your eyes," Naegi smiles bashfully at him.

• (He decides against mentioning the meaning behind those, as well-)

• They stay there until the morning comes, watching as the sky blends from black, to purple, to pink, to orange, to yellow, and then finally, blue. The stars slowly fade, dimming like nightlights in the sky, being turned off as if to fall asleep themselves.

• Naegi yawns, stretching. "Aw man... I think I'm gonna sleep in a little today..."

• When he returns to his bed, he promptly blacks out, all thoughts of a certain Ultimate Despair having been vanquished entirely.

• If anyone asks that day, why Naegi seems so tired, or why Kamukura is even more quiet then usual, the two will share a knowing glance, and return to what they were doing, with a small smile (or twitch of the mouth).

• The next night, Naegi finds himself needing a glass of water again. Kamukura is in the kitchen. They walk.

• It's not at all uncommon for the two to be perched upon the rooftop. Rain or shine, day or night. They'll often be nursing a drink in their hands too, a hot cup of tea, or an iced one, a glass of water, a smoothie, a milkshake, a hot chocolate- as they talk. Or they'll sit and stare out at the grounds, or the sky. They might fiddle with papers, completing work, or sit comfortably in each other's company, Naegi braiding Kamukura's hair, weaving little flowers into it that he collected from the gardens.

• Their insomnia is still there, refusing to disappear or remedy after one night.

• But, at least, if they are doomed to the life of an insomniac, they're happy to do so.

• (together).

-

Flower meanings-

Hydrangeas: (one of my own personal favourites ahhh-) their meaning varies a lot. Pink is said to represent heartfelt emotion and even love (some say the individual petals are shaped like a heart-). Purple hydrangeas represent a desire to deeply understand someone. White hydrangeas had very negative connotations, especially in Victorian society, representing boastfulness and vanity (but also purity)- they were even considered unlucky, and leaving a hydrangea to grow outside a woman's door was said to be a way to ensure she would never wed (how cruel!). Blue is the most intriguing colour- there's a Japanese story of an Emperor who gifted blue hydrangeas to the family of his beloved, in apology for neglecting her. Because of this, blue hydrangeas are associated with apology, forgiveness, gratitude, and even frigidity (which makes me think of how a certain Mr Kamukura acts-). Ironically, blue hydrangeas are considered the 'luckiest'.

A lucky unlucky flower (befitting, I'd say, to be the favourite of a certain person).

Carnations- apparently white ones symbolise good/pure luck! Now isn't that something? Ah, but Naegi didn't say white carnations, did he? He meant red, like Kamukura's eyes. That's where it's interesting- light red carnations can symbolise admiration and affection. But dark red carnations symbolise a deep love. (Ironically, for a flower of love, carnations are also frequently associated with death (especially, apparently, in France). It's almost like, in order for Kamukura to exist, for Naegi to have feelings for him in the first place, someone first had to die for him to come into existence... but that's just a thought-)

(I'm no flower expert- all of these came from our overlords, Google themselves, so if anything about that is wrong... blame them not me-)

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going back to sleep-

Image by: https://borrego-tan.tumblr.com/post/186229592018/hinaegi-festival-2019-day-4-comfortcomfy

[ibijau]

Worst engagement AU // on AO3

Parts of this had been posted before, but it has now been updated to better fit with the rest of the timeline

After another weekly discussion with Lan Xichen, Nie Huaisang figures out a way to get back at his fiancé.

It goes the same as always. Lan Xichen serves insipid tea for both of them, and offers some of those bland biscuits he seems to adore, as if it’s a great honour he’s doing to Nie Huaisang to give him anything to snack on.

Nie Huaisang who just wants this stupid meeting to be over already so he can go have some fun. Wei Wuxian said he’d sneak out to get them something to drink, and Nie Huaisang still has a stash of snacks from his last expedition out of the Cloud Recesses. They’ve decided to have a little party tonight, to celebrate the end of Wei Wuxian’s punishment. It will start as soon as Nie Huaisang is freed from this boring tea party.

First though, Nie Huaisang half expects to be scolded for what happened at the river yesterday. He was too annoyed by having their fun interrupted, but Jiang Cheng swears that Lan Xichen seemed very upset by his state of undress. Not without reason, since it goes against the rules of stupid Gusu Lan to be immodest and indecent. And sure, it’s all Wei Wuxian’s fault, but that’s not really going to help his case.

But the scolding never comes. Lan Xichen chooses to be annoyingly dignified instead, as if it’d be beneath him to even mention that incident. Nie Huaisang would have preferred anger. He would have preferred any emotion at all, instead of that blank politeness.

"Shall we play Go again?" Lan Xichen asks as he hands him his cup of tea. 

He sounds hopeful, eager even, and last week he looked like he was really having fun as they played. So did Nie Huaisang. He's still new to the game, but he finds that he loves it and it was thrilling to win against someone as skilled as Lan Xichen. 

"I'm not in the mood to play," Nie Huaisang announces.

Lan Xichen's smile falls, letting show real disappointment. Good. Nie Huaisang likes Go, but he refuses to let his fiancé get any enjoyment out of their weekly talks. Last time was an accident that he won't repeat. 

"I'll be more careful about the time that passes," Lan Xichen offers. He's not wrong that it was part of the problem, but seeing him insist like this just makes Nie Huaisang promise himself to never play together again, since Lan Xichen wants it so much.

"I'm just too tired," he mumbles, just a touch whiny. "Lan gongzi, I'd do so badly and then you'd be cross at me for not doing well enough."

Without surprise, Lan Xichen pinches his lips and glares at him, but it would be rude to push more so he gives up. It's rather obvious that he was planning on playing for the entire time they have to be together, and that he didn't prepare anything else to pass the time. Meanwhile Nie Huaisang has decided he wants to try his hand at poetry, so sitting in silence for a while doesn't bother him in the least. 

For now, he's looking for something to rhyme with nightingale, which is harder than expected. But aside from his beloved birds, Nie Huaisang can't think of anything worth writing about. Love is a lie for common people, and he's more interested in painting nature than writing about it. 

"I don't think I had the chance to say, but thank you for preventing that fight the other day," Lan Xichen says, apparently abhorring silence.

Nie Huaisang shoots him a puzzled look. It takes him a moment to find what that's about, but there can be only one incident his fiancé his referring to. Three days ago, Lan Xichen had to supervise the guest disciples because Lan Qiren was called away for a bit, and of course that gave some people a chance to start causing problems. 

Well, some people. Jin Zixuan. 

He's a weird kid, that Jin Zixuan, Nie Huaisang has decided. For someone from such a great sect, who is this pretty and good at cultivation, and in spite of being there with a number of relatives, it's odd that he's not particularly popular. Of course, that might be because he can't say two words without insulting someone. 

A bit like Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, but at least they always have each other to step up if they cross a line. On the other hand nobody dares tell Jin Zixuan when he's a little shit, so he comes off as mean rather than funny like the Jiang boys. 

In truth, Nie Huaisang is starting to suspect Jin Zixuan is just painfully awkward and bad with people, and of course he too knows about being awkward. He wouldn’t tell anyone, least of all Jin Zixuan himself, but he pities him a little.

"It really was nothing," Nie Huaisang says with a dismissive handwave. "There wasn't going to be any real trouble. Wei-xiong knows better than to start a fight with his shijie's fiancé." 

Lan Xichen cannot contain a slight grimace, unconvinced. In truth, Nie Huaisang isn't so sure either, but he's not about to snitch on his friend. 

“It was still good of you to intervene,” Lan Xichen insists, smiling blankly.

Nie Huaisang rolls his eyes. If he had known it would please Lan Xichen so much, he’d have let Wei Wuxian punch Jin Zixuan in the face. Maybe he will next time.

“Lan gongzi is too kind. Really, I just wanted to tease Wei-xiong, it’s just an accident if that prevented anything. Lan gongzi knows I’m not bright enough to do anything good, ever.”

“That’s not true,” Lan Xichen protests, startling Nie Huaisang with how earnest he sounds all of a sudden. “Certainly you are not much of a scholar, but you have other talents. Although, even for this you have improved, haven’t you? I’m told you have done better than last year with the class on talismans.”

“Wei-xiong helped me,” Nie Huaisang announces, proud of himself for the fact that it’s not quite a lie. Wei Wuxian did help, by giving him all the answers in exchange for permanent ownership of a certain artful print from Nie Huaisang’s collection. And this time, they’ve been smart enough to not get caught. They're getting good at cheating, Nie Huaisang thinks.

Lan Xichen appears to consider that explanation for a moment as he sips some of his tea, looking as if he actually enjoys the stuff when it tastes like nothing but diluted washing water.

“You really spend a lot of time with Wei gongzi and Jiang gongzi, don’t you?” Lan Xichen remarks at last.

“I like them a lot. And I remember you encouraging me to do it. After all, a sect leader’s husband must have good relations with other sect leaders as well, right?”

A frown appears on Lan Xichen’s too perfect face, as always when Nie Huaisang says something to remind him of what awaits them in a few years. More surprisingly, there’s also the faintest trace of a blush on his cheeks. It’s not a bad look on him. It makes him seem more human. Not that Nie Huaisang cares, of course.

“You are right. Still, I would advise you not to take too much after Wei gongzi,” Lan Xichen says in a voice as dispassionate as ever. “He is not unkind, but very wild. A sect leader’s husband should respect the rules, and I fear Wei gongzi...”

“Are you gossiping, Lan gongzi?” Nie Huaisang interrupts with a smirk.

The other boy’s frown deepens, as does his blush. Lan Xichen hates being caught at fault, and Nie Huaisang is starting to figure out how to push him to it. It’s thrilling to see how imperfect his jade fiancé is after all. If he weren’t worried about Nie Mingjue’s reaction, Nie Huaisang would push even harder, just to see if it’s possible for Lan Xichen to actually get angry. His face his always so smooth and perfect, but he must look ugly when he's properly furious, that'd be fun.

Actually, since Nie Mingjue’s always grumpy about something, Nie Huaisang might try anyway. He wants Lan Xichen to be angry, just as Nie Huaisang himself still is when he allows his thoughts to linger on their situation.

He wants Lan Xichen to hurt, just as he’s ached all those years during which he tried so hard to be good enough, always in vain.

He’ll make him pay.

“If you knew for sure that Wei Ying and I were doing anything wrong, you’d have had us punished already,” Nie Huaisang claims, enjoying the ways Lan Xichen’s eyes narrow when he uses the other boy’s personal name. “Besides, I’m sure Jiang Cheng would not let us do anything that might tarnish his sect’s reputation either. He is very aware of these things.”

“I was not aware you were so close to Jiang gongzi,” Lan Xichen remarks coldly.

They both know that Nie Huaisang has never even called Lan Xichen by his courtesy name, let alone his personal name. He never will, not if he can help it. They might have to marry, but nobody can force Nie Huaisang to pretend he cares, not anymore. Lan Xichen is Lan gongzi, and someday he’ll be sect leader Lan, and that’s it. If absolutely forced, Nie Huaisang will perhaps deign call him husband, but only as a last resort, if they have to show unity in front of enemies. He'll never be Lan Xichen, and even less Lan Huan.

“Jiang Cheng is a lot of fun, in his own manner,” Nie Huaisang chirps. “It was his idea to go to the river yesterday, you know? He doesn’t look it, but he is really fun. And it’s nice that you always know where you stand with him… I just like people who are honest about what they think and how they feel. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are great friends to have for that, even if it can get them in trouble at times.”

Lan Xichen pinches his lips, and his fingers tighten around his cooling cup of tea, his cheeks flushed red in what might very well be actual anger. It’s not as good as if it were pain, but Nie Huaisang still delights in any reaction he can get. He’s convinced now that he could push harder quite easily, but…

But the incense is already finished burning, and Nie Huaisang is free.

He jumps to his feet, and bows to Lan Xichen, already thinking of nothing but the little party that awaits him.

“Well, I’ll see you next week, Lan gongzi,” he says, not even trying to hide his joy at being done with this. He didn’t even have to drink that disgusting tea this time, which counts as another little victory.

Without waiting for an answer, Nie Huaisang turns toward the door, thinking of Emperor’s Smile, peanuts, and real, sugary biscuits. It will be wonderful, and they will have fun, perhaps check some of the books in his private collection if they get drunk enough, and…

“Nie Huaisang.”

He stops on his tracks and glances behind in shock. 

Just like him, Lan Xichen had never called him by anything but his title before.

“Lan gongzi?”

There’s an unusual intensity to Lan Xichen’s expression, his face so red it looks to be burning. It’s not quite anger alone anymore, but it’s… something else, something Nie Huaisang can't quite name. It nearly makes him shiver to have those dark, golden eyes on him like this. It almost feels as if, for the very first time in their years of acquaintance, Lan Xichen is truly looking at him.

“I am glad if you make friends, Nie Huaisang, especially close ones. But you would do well to remember that you are engaged, and that your friendships should not be taken too far.”

Nie Huaisang laughs, too surprised to think of any other way to react. 

He laughs, and laughs, and leaves without gratifying Lan Xichen with an answer. He’s still laughing when he joins Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, although after some hesitation he decides not to share with them the cause of his hilarity. Wei Wuxian would laugh along without doubt, but Jiang Cheng is too aware of politics to find it funny. He would demand that Nie Huaisang return to see Lan Xichen and make it clear there’s nothing improper between them, which sounds boring.

If this is the way he can shatter Lan Xichen’s pride, Nie Huaisang has half a mind to get a lot more flirty in the future.

[mbti-notes]

Greetings, I am a 75 year old grandma. I am writing because my grandson who is in his 20s won't work. I have been involved in mbti for many decades. I'm an ENFJ. My grandson is still living at home well into his 20s. When I tell him to get a job (over many years) he just tells me to cut him off and that he will be fine without a smartphone and sweet foods. He is very bright. Graduated with a 3.7 from University. He tried various interests, but nothing sticks. Do I kick him out? Its not my nature

[con’t: The actions I've taken to help my grandson is to show him various resources like holland code, personality theory, etc. so that he can find some direction of where to commit. Instead he just takes the holland code over and over again, and happily shows me that his interests vary everytime he takes it. Same with personality theory. He goes on your blog all the time to prove that he doesn't fit anywhere. Based off of that statement he sounds like IxFJ. My grandson resembles Ti loop (IFxJ), but he does not resemble any other aspect of being an FJ. He is relatively well decisive when it comes to everything in his life. The only issue is getting a job, getting on a path, but he rejects this. If he at least helped around the house it would be something, but he can be quite selfish and uncaring, yet at other times very caring. It vacillates. Anyway, please help if possible, I am perplexed.]

WRT His Type: 

I can’t draw a conclusion about his type without a full type assessment. Everything you’ve described is quite consistent with INFJ and Ni-Ti loop. It seems that you don’t understand tertiary loop very well. Ti loop is an unconscious repudiation of feeling, responsibility, and eventually, conscience. It amounts to a refusal to be the things that make FJs good and admirable people. Basically, the more severe the case of Ti loop, the more arrogant, narcissistic, and callous the INFJ becomes. 

If the INFJ is only at the stage of trying to suppress the vulnerability of feeling life, there is still a fair chance for them to turn their life around by developing better emotional intelligence to address the emotional immaturity. If the INFJ has reached the point of refusing personal responsibility, they will be preoccupied/obsessed with finding any excuse, and even creating enemies, to blame for the poor state of their life. At this point, they are impervious to facts and don’t respond well to advice. If the INFJ loses all self-awareness and manages to convince themselves that they are “special” and not subject to conventional rules and ethical boundaries, then the time for you to distance from them is nearing, as chronic Se grip will set in and produce reactive, aggressive, or extreme behavior. 

To get out of Ti loop requires genuine humility and reconnection with feeling life. The INFJ must take full responsibility for their decisions, correct the big mistakes that they have made in life, and atone for all the harm that they have caused. He does not seem to be capable of this at the moment. I explain Ti loop not to be an alarmist, but to give you a realistic view of how destructive tertiary loop can be, what rock bottom looks like for INFJs, and the signs to be wary of. If the relationship with him ever reaches a point where his mindset becomes toxic and harmful to you, it is important that you move to protect yourself.

WRT His Problem: 

Getting someone in the right frame of mind to make a change and tackle a big problem is very tricky business because you don’t want to try and fail too many times. If you’re correct about Ti loop, then the more times you try to help and fail, the more likely he is to retreat further into himself (and delusion). To avoid applying the wrong solution, it’s best to do some “intelligence gathering” first so that you understand the problem properly before proceeding.

Neither of you has gotten to the bottom of his “block”, i.e., the actual obstacle that is getting in the way of his advancement. You can’t solve a problem if you can’t identify the cause(s) of it. The cause can be internal, external, or a combination of factors. Getting him into aptitude/personality studies seems like a logical approach to the problem. However, this assumes that the underlying cause of the problem is that he doesn’t really know himself - is it, though? It’s not clear to me, from what you’ve said, that this is the root of the problem. There isn’t enough info for me to draw any conclusion and I don’t wish to speculate wildly about what his problem might be. He seems to have some deeper psychological issues going on. And this lack of knowledge about his motivations is probably the reason that you’re both having difficulty pinpointing his type.

Therefore, the first order of business is to examine the problem in depth to figure out what the true cause of it is. Is the nature of the employment problem practical, psychological, educational, social, etc? Once you have an accurate grasp of the problem, then think on the right solution to it, or get help from someone with the expertise to determine the right solution. Note that if he is already at the point of avoiding responsibility and making excuses to manipulate reality, he himself will be blind to the real problem.

WRT Your Decision: 

The last point I want to make is about you and your feelings. It sounds like he is suffering from some form of arrested development because he still has the mentality of a child. Academic GPA means nothing without emotional maturity and life skills. His behavior indicates that he depends on you but is also spoiled in taking your support for granted. This means that the more you try to support/help him, the more you may be enabling his unhealthy behavior and preventing him from becoming truly independent. 

It is in his best interests to learn how to be a responsible adult because he will not always have someone to lean on in life (especially since Ti loop is very destructive to relationships). This should happen sooner rather than later, because the longer someone stays stuck in a rut, the harder it is to change, as inertia deepens. This is especially true in terms of employment because doors close and opportunities gradually dry up the older one gets. For the sake of his continued personal growth, he has to learn how to face up to his life’s problems and resolve them. But it sounds like he’s not willing to do that without being compelled to. He explicitly said to cut him off, which is basically like telling mama bird that he’s not going to jump off the tree and fly until he gets pushed off. Push him. Yes, he could have some psychological issue going on, but he’s also using your support to avoid facing up to it. If this is true, then you need to step BACK and allow him to step up for himself.

Should you kick him out? I understand that, from your perspective, this path would be the last resort, because it would violate your moral sensibilities and perhaps damage the relationship. But the fact that you’re at the point of considering it means that you’ve been dealing with this situation for far too long without making any progress. Please take some time to address how much this situation stresses YOU. Otherwise, your feelings may eventually boil over and possess you to do something you regret.

The fairest approach to this situation is to treat him like you would treat anyone else. In other words, stop giving him preferential treatment, especially if he doesn’t appreciate it and thus doesn’t deserve it. (Preferential treatment is reserved for people who are putting in their best effort but still falling short due to factors beyond their control.) If he wants to live under someone else’s roof, he has to contribute his fair share, as any adult would be expected to do (rent, bills, food, etc). If he wants to use/share your space, he has to help with cleaning and maintenance so that the workload is fairly distributed, as any adult would be expected to do. If he wants to have a relationship with you, then he has to reciprocate to make the friendship equal, as any adult would be expected to do. If it were anyone else, you would draw lines and boundaries about what kinds of behavior you would tolerate, wouldn’t you? I hope you would. If you're a doormat, it makes your relationship dynamic with him codependent and even more unhealthy. 

**A healthy relationship must have boundaries. Personal boundaries must be respected to justify continued investment in the relationship. If someone doesn’t respect your needs and boundaries, they don’t respect you, and they’re proving themselves unworthy of your continued effort. Until someone proves that they are worthy of your trust and support, it is best to maintain emotional distance from them, for your own safety and psychological well-being.**

It’s time for you to step up for yourself and how you feel. Make your needs and desires matter just as much as his, which means drawing the lines, setting the boundaries, and enforcing the rules that you need for honoring your existence. Yes, it would be nice if everyone just knew how to respect each other, but that’s not the case. If a relationship is hurting you, then it’s necessary to practice proper self-care and correct what is wrong. It’s not about being controlling but about respecting you and what is yours. If he can’t abide by your rules and boundaries, he is an adult and free to set his own rules elsewhere. Don’t forget that if you let him walk all over you, you’re implicitly confirming to him that exploitation is normal and acceptable relationship behavior.

1) Devaluing your needs is a disservice to yourself and puts you in the backseat of this relationship to be hurt and exploited, and 2) devaluing your needs is a disservice to him, because taking advantage of your generosity allows him to continue on with unhealthy behavior. I’ve given a few possibilities above and it’s up to you to take the path that you think is best for both parties.