sunnymusingsao3

[sunnymusingsao3]

@sunnymusingsao3 GHRHRHGHGHHHHH I WASNT EVEN A THIRD OF THE WAY THROUGH UNTIL I WAS PLAUGED WITH VISIONS....HARP

(wanted to draw him with long hair.for expirimenting)

BUT GUYS IDK WHAT HAPPENED I JUST BLACKED OUT AND SUDDENLY THIS APPEARED

[sunnymusingsao3]

only thing we share is one last name

Words: 5,233 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Octavian & Oracle of Cumae Tags: Camp Jupiter (Percy Jackson), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Octavian Lives (Percy Jackson), Octavian-centric (Percy Jackson), Character Study, Oracles, Flashbacks Summary: Octavian and The Oracle of Cumae have an important chat about the future. Ironic that one of them's a jar and the other can't prophesy. You don't have to read the first installment of this series to understand, but it might give useful context.

Preview:

When one’s mind is perpetually overflowing with prophecy and visions, the voices of the gods, the past and the future, omens, blessings, demands, one tends to get used to the noise.

In fact, ever since Apollo hid away during the Giant War, Casimir Octavian Solemark has felt a deep sense of disquiet at how empty his mind has felt, without the presence of others crammed in with him.

For once– perhaps for the first time ever– his thoughts are his own in totality, and it rattles him. Octavian has no one whom to ask for guidance, no one on whose behalf to speak, and no one to provide him insight into the great unknown that is The Future.

Humankind has always been terrified of what they do not know; it’s why dark places, masks, and the deep sea are fears for so many. Octavian isn’t afraid of those things, no more than would be reasonable were he confronted with them in a dangerous way, but he is afraid of what Fate can do when he cannot prepare for her choices in advance.

He’s pretty sure he’s also afraid of silence.

It’s why he’d had a pair of pandai pilfer a harp from one of the other Julia Drusillas, to deposit in his cabin on XII, some odd weeks ago (that, and boredom). If Caligula knows he’s taken it, then he doesn’t seem to care; the god-king doesn’t play anyway, and it’s one of dozens. Caligula’s possessions are many, so it doesn’t much matter if one of them uses another.

When he isn’t on duty, Octavian fills his cabin with soft music, often singing along in Latin. He takes to composing his favorite ancient poetry into songs that he privately dedicates to various gods or old friends (most of those are mournful, apologetic), or Camp Jupiter, his one and only love.

Gods. He misses Camp like he’s been ripped in half by the jaws of life. He walks around, an ice sculpture in the middle of July, melting so that the original shape of it is impossible to discern, warped by his body-wracking grief.

He doesn’t recognize himself in mirrors, anymore.

A lifetime ago, when he’d been a centurion, an augur, popular among his people, Apollo’s marks on him had been obvious: his hair reflected rainbows in sunlight, his eyes were a vibrant and saturated blue, his beauty marks were a warm brown on his sun-flushed cheeks.

Then Terra had clawed her way into his entrails, making herself a home in his brain stem, in his spinal fluid, in the balloons of his lungs, and his body had paid an expensive price. His skin had lost color, the blue of his eyes had tinted grey, his hair had gone matte and yellowed from its usual platinum. These things would fade once Terra let him go, but back then, he’d attributed it all to stress, and it had seemed logical at the time.

After all, the state of Camp had been alarming, back then. He remembers the pressure and the tension, how it had all nearly snapped his and Reyna’s relationship in two (long before the real death blows).

They’d lost good legionnaires, too many legionnaires, at their siege on Mount Othrys. Yet, seemingly immediately after, they’d been flooded by new ones, demigods and legacies alike, building back their ranks by the dozens. Even Five had started to fill more bunks than ever. The legion approached capacity nearer than it had in decades (Reyna had even passed a Senate motion for approval to build more barracks)– and every single new probatio who arrived needed a reading. Octavian had never been so busy as the augur that being a centurion became secondary to that role, but that summer had asked more of his Sight than his leadership, and he’d spent nights upon nights in fitful, vision-filled sleep. It was like he’d accidentally posted an advertisement on a giant, flashing billboard, and everyone and everything who wanted a turn in an oracle’s head flooded in to answer it.

And then Jason went missing.

Read the rest on AO3

[sunnymusingsao3]

The moment you have all been waiting for has arrived!!!!

Octavian Week has been carded to take place from June 29th 2025 to July 5th.

Take the time to prepare the pieces you feel to do. Remember a fun time is to be had, so don't feel pressured and just have fun!

Further information on how and when to submit pieces will be posted soon, so stay tuned for more info

Remember bonus prompts will be drop on discord periodically, so feel free to join the Server

Any further questions can be asked via the ask box

Mark your calenders

[sunnymusingsao3]

Welcome To Octavian Week 2025

We welcome everyone to Octavian Week 2025. We hope fun time will be had during this event and welcome all to participate.

You all can create fanworks following the prompts given, these works will be posted by you during the event week.

Prompt Suggestions are welcome, so tell us what AUs and ideas you want to write or draw on using this link

All forms of fanfics, fanart and fan-animations are welcome. Remember we're all here for a fun time so no bullying or harassment of any participants is tolerated and allowed!

Information on the rules and how to participate.

This event is hosted by the Octavian Discord Server:

If you need assistance, message: @f0xgl0v3 @praetorialreject @littlestarbeam

Prompts Dates will be announced after the selection of prompt suggestions. We look forward to this awesome event!

[sunnymusingsao3]

some art of octavian from @sunnymusingsao3 's LOVELY fic right here!

i let him have shoulder length hair. as a treat.

though i didnt know what to put him in, so the outfit is little bit inspired by children in nero's fucked-up-family-thing :3

ANYWAYS I NEED TO GO TO BED LMAO

[sunnymusingsao3]

Lots of thoughts recently. Everything feels plastic.

I could go on and on about why all that AI "art" is bad. I could mention theft, lack of creativity, it's impact on the work field and environment, but countless people have already said all that. I wanted to touch on something that to me is the most utterly wrong about all of it.

Art is more than just something pretty to look at or listen to. It's therapeutic. It's a form of communication. A tool for human connection. It's a pure, human need.

Support real artists ☀️

[sunnymusingsao3]

Wip pieces for a follow up to coal to diamond, sold to fools; posting these helps me stay motivated and inspired lol

[sunnymusingsao3]

some art of octavian from @sunnymusingsao3 's LOVELY fic right here!

i let him have shoulder length hair. as a treat.

though i didnt know what to put him in, so the outfit is little bit inspired by children in nero's fucked-up-family-thing :3

ANYWAYS I NEED TO GO TO BED LMAO

[sunnymusingsao3]

coal to diamond, sold to fools

Words: 2,042 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Relationships: Caligula & Octavian Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, The graphic violence is flashbacks to the onager scene, Octavian Lives (Percy Jackson), Octavian-centric (Percy Jackson), The opportunity to use Octavian in Trials of Apollo was so good and so squandered Summary: This is a Trials of Apollo AU where Octavian lives after the siege on Camp Halfblood. Disgraced and ashamed, he goes on the run, but his powers of prophecy continue to fail him while Apollo is AWOL. So, he begins to search for the god. Instead of finding him, however, Octavian finds the Triumverate. His reputation proceeds him, so he is held captive at first for his augury. As it turns out, they have no use for an augur who can't see the future, so Caligula puts Octavian to work: as his cupbearer. This is a scene set before Burning Maze, as Octavian struggles to reconcile with the fact that Caligula is simply better at playing his own game than he is.

Preview:

Caligula presents a contradictory sight, laid out languidly on a striped lounge chair in his captain’s hat and sailor’s garb, all while carrying with him the presence of a hunting great white. He should be relaxed, but Octavian’s swum with enough sharks to know that he already smells blood in the water, and his muscles are coiled and primed to strike. For a moment, Octavian’s knees feel wobbly.

The seas are smoother than usual that afternoon, as the sun blazes amber overhead, lightening a seemingly endless lazuline sky. The nearest clouds are so far away, they almost appear to be dangling inches from the horizon, as if they could drive the Julia Drusilla right through them if they chased them down. It’s picture-perfect, and that sits lopsided in Octavian’s chest as Caligula interrupts his thoughts.

“You used to be one of those Camp Jupiter disciples, as I understand it?” It’s a trick question: there is nothing Caligula doesn’t know about him.

Octavian sets down the Southside Fizz he’d ordered at the bar for him, centering it on Caligula’s coaster with only one tremble. And he answers the emperor-god’s question because he is too far beneath him to get away with not responding, no matter how obvious the answer is. “I was, lord.”

Caligula lifts his chin like Octavian has stroked his cropped, platinum hair. Octavian hates that they share that color. “I never liked any of you brats. It’s a miracle you’re so well-behaved.”

Gag him. The sea salt in the air smells bitter. “It was a rare few of us who learnt manners, princeps.”

Everything about Caligula’s smile is oily, from the crooked dimples at the ends, to his immaculately symmetrical cupid’s bow, to the stark thinness of his lips, stretched over too-white teeth. “Oh, I’ve noticed. Tell me, pincerna”— Remarkably, Caligula doesn’t seem to apply any effort in making the name of Octavian’s new career sound like how one would describe scum on the side of the yacht— “They taught you to wield a pilum, did they not?”

“It would be terribly against tradition if they didn’t.” Octavian replies dutifully, doing his best to imply a sense of deep respect for Caligula’s Rome– the one that the god-king seems to feel Camp Jupiter fails to emulate.

“Pick mine up.” 

[Read the rest on AO3]

[sunnymusingsao3]

writing is so fun

[sunnymusingsao3]

Do you know of any resources for finding and supporting creatives of color?

On here? Well here's a list for Black creators, by @triangularz :

Imo, the simplest way to find creators of color is to follow a few you're familiar with, and then follow who we follow. Check out blog titles to see folks' identities, or to see if they mention their lived experience. That's how I've managed to find other Black creators to follow and share their work here, as well as other creators and bloggers of color that I respect.

Thing is, you got to be willing to deal with that initial discomfort of being in a new space, and recognize that "not everything is for me to relate to, doesn't mean it's not important". We're not just here to entertain!

[sunnymusingsao3]

this is a niche one but instead of "they would not fuckin say that" it's "they would not fucking use American sign language".

ASL is not the only sign language. two british characters in your fanfiction would not be using ASL. England in fact has its own kind of sign language, BSL, that forms a sign family with many other sign languages around the world.

ASL isn't even the original member of its sign family, it comes from french sign language. do you know sign languages aren't related to spoken languages? that's an important one! it's not a direct 1:1 with people speaking English around the world. people in other countries don't learn ASL just in case they run into an usamerican or Canadian (who do often use it)

i know the entire world is the USA or whatever and sign languages do sometimes borrow from ASL for signs they don't have, but please be aware that there are other sign languages and families in the world that are not in fact ASL.

[sunnymusingsao3]

The Causal Chain And Why Your Story Needs It

The most obnoxious thing my writing teacher taught me every story needed, that I absolutely loathed studying in the moment and that only later, after months of resisting and fighting realized she was right, was something called the causal chain.

Simply put, the causal chain is the linked cause-and-effect that must logically connect every event, reaction, and beat that takes place in your story to the ones before and after.

The Causal Chain is exhausting to go through. It is infuriating when someone points out that an event or a character beat comes out of nowhere, unmoored from events around it.

It is profoundly necessary to learn and include because a cause-and-effect chain is what allows readers to follow your story logically which means they can start anticipating what happens next, which is what is required for a writer to be able to build suspense and cognitively engage the audience, to surprise them, and to not infuriate them with random coincidences that hurt or help the characters in order to clumsily advance the author's goals.

By all means, write your story as you want to write it in the first draft, and don't worry about this principle too much. This is an editing tool, not a first draft tool. But one of the first things you should do when retroactively begin preparing your story to be read by others is going step by step through each event and confirming that a previous event leads to it and that subsequent events are impacted by it on the page.

[sunnymusingsao3]

Write more Deaf characters!

[Large Text: Write more Deaf characters!]

When answering questions about deaf and hard of hearing characters, I have noticed they are overwhelmingly about:

A character who is deaf in one ear or hard of hearing because of an accident

A character who was born deaf and knows sign language, but seems to have 0 connection to the broader Deaf community

This is not the experience of most d/Deaf people! So, here's your primer to Deaf community and culture, and writing a Deaf character, because they are sorely underrepresented.

(Disclaimer: this post was written using viewpoints I, a singular Deaf person in the United States, have encountered. I tried to make this as general as possible to encompass many Deaf views, but it is possible that I have misconstrued something. Do not take this guide as the be-all and end-all of your knowledge on Deaf culture. Keep reading and researching the Deaf community, and explore viewpoints from many different Deaf people of all backgrounds.)

Why do you write Deaf with capital D?

[Large Text: Why do you write Deaf with capital D?]

The term "deaf" with the lowercase d means not being able to hear. The term "Deaf" with an uppercase D refers to the cultural identity formed by deaf people. This identity is difficult to explain but it includes knowing sign language and engaging with other Deaf people.

There are varying opinions within the Deaf community on who is allowed to call themselves culturally Deaf. Some Deaf believe that only those who were born into the Deaf community (whose family is Deaf, who attended a Deaf school, and/or who have sign language as a first language) are allowed to consider themselves culturally Deaf. On the 'flip' side, some Deaf believe that anyone with hearing loss can claim the label. And of course, you can find someone Deaf with any opinion in between.

This is all intracommunity nuance. If your character is born deaf and learns sign language at a young age or as a first language, they are likely culturally Deaf.

Sign Language Use

[Large Text: Sign Language Use]

Sign languages are the language of Deaf communities. (Note that there are many sign languages in different regions, and they are not related in the same way spoken languages are!)

Most sign languages did not originate alongside spoken language, either, so they usually have different grammar than the spoken language in a region. This means that someone whose first language is sign may have difficulty learning even the written version of the spoken language due to the different grammar and translation. For native signers, the spoken language of their area is their second language.

Sign languages are fully developed languages, with grammar and structure. Sign language is not "less" than spoken language, and encouraging sign language does not discourage speech. (Even if it did, that's not a bad thing! Sign languages are still a valid and rich communication form!) Sign languages have slang and expressions/idioms too.

Sign languages typically have a "manual alphabet" otherwise known as "fingerspelling". This is a way to represent words that don't have a sign. Fluent signers very rarely fingerspell; normally fingerspelling is for proper nouns which don't have a name sign.

Name signs are the last big point I want to cover about sign language. A name sign is a way to refer to someone so you don't have to spell their name every time. It's usually related to someone's attributes, like dimples or a specific way of moving. Sign names can only be given by Deaf people who are fluent in sign language.

Deaf Education

[Large Text: Deaf Education]

For a long time, deaf people were considered unable to learn, just because they couldn't hear. And since 1880, for about 100 years and even still today, the prevailing tradition in deaf education was/is oralism--a teaching method based on speech that rejects sign language.

Historically speaking, if deaf children were to receive an education, they would be sent to a Deaf residential school. These still exist, although there are also many Deaf schools that are typical day schools, just for d/Deaf/hoh students.

Deaf children may also attend "mainstream" schools; they might have sign language interpreters and other accessibility accommodations, or they may be forced to rely on lipreading and context, or placed in special education where their needs often still are not met.

Oralism still has lasting effects today. Deaf people have received, and still do receive, worse education than hearing people.

One common problem is language deprivation. Many deaf children grow up without access to sign language. About 90% of deaf people are born to hearing parents; even if hearing parents do send their deaf kids to a Deaf school, they may not learn sign language themselves, so the child must rely on what they can gather of spoken language at home. Sign language is even discouraged by some audiologists and speech professionals, because it "might interfere with speech". But by depriving deaf children of sign language, more often than not, they are being deprived of all language.

People who are born deaf do not learn spoken language naturally, even when provided with aids like hearing aids and cochlear implants. Many deaf kids who learn speech learn it through extensive speech therapy, and often have a "deaf accent" from copying mouth shapes but not being able to hear or process what sounds they are making, which may also include having an atypically pitched voice (e.g., very high-pitched). Lip-reading is inaccurate and the best lip-readers can only follow about 30% of a conversation, and that's by intently watching with no breaks.

It is possible to learn a language at any age. But it is easiest to pick up a new language when one is young. Children who do not learn a first language by around age 5--the age at which they would start school--have more difficulty learning any language, and may have frequent outbursts or trouble expressing emotions as a result of communication difficulties.

Another problem, especially within the Deaf community, is literacy. Spoken languages are often unrelated to the signed language of the same region. Learning to read and write, as a Deaf child, is like learning a whole new separate language, with different grammar and structure than their native language. This is why captions are not a perfect accessibility tool--it is, for many Deaf people, being offered an alternative in their second language, if they have learned to read and write at all.

Deaf Culture Norms

[Large Text: Deaf Culture Norms]

To hearing people, Deaf conversation can seem very blunt and to the point. This isn't to say Deaf people are inexpressive--quite the opposite: sign languages often use facial expressions as part of the grammar, and there is a lot of expression that can be incorporated into a sign--but there isn't a lot of "talking around" things. You can see part of this culture in name signs, which are usually based off a trait of the person. It's not offensive--it's just how they're recognized!

Another conception is of Deaf people being over expressive, but again, that is just part of sign language grammar. Face and body movements take the place of tone of voice, as well as other grammatical clarifications.

Deaf people talk a lot! It's very hard to end a conversation, because there will always be something else to say or a new person to meet. Hugging and other physical touch are really common greetings.

Tapping people on the shoulder to get their attention is fine. Other ways include flicking the lights or rattling a surface (for vibrations). Eye contact while signing is also important to make known that you are listening. Groups of Deaf people will sit in a circle so everyone can see everyone else. It's rude to talk in a Deaf space. If you are lost in the conversation, you'd ask if you can write or type instead.

Deaf Space also refers to design concepts that are more accessible to deaf people. This includes good lighting, minimal signing-height visual obstacles (e.g., low waist-height shelves), visual indicators instead of bells, open spaces so people can sit in a circle to talk, and automatic doors and wide hallways/passages so it is easier to continue a conversation while walking.

It's also very rude to comment on a Deaf person's voice. Do not mention you're surprised they can speak. Do not call their accent "cute" or "weird" or anything like that. Do not ask them to speak. Do not say their voice sounds really good ("for a deaf person") or that you wouldn't be able to tell they are deaf.

Deaf Views on Deafness

[Large Text: Deaf Views on Deafness]

The Deaf community is incredibly proud of their Deafness. You'll often hear the phrases "hearing loss = deaf gain" or "failing a hearing test" as "passing the deaf test". Continuing the Deaf community and culture is highly valued, and learning sign language is encouraged for everyone.

Many people in the Deaf community dislike cochlear implants as their success is incredibly variable and they require invasive surgery and therapies from a young age. Another big argument against CI is that they are often presented as the only or the first option to hearing parents, who misunderstand CI as a "cure" and then do not give their child access to sign language.

Deaf people also reject any sort of cure for deafness, especially genetic therapies. Many Deaf people do not think of their Deafness as a disability.

(Deaf people will often point out the advantages of Deaf culture and sign language, such as being able to talk over long distances, through windows, and even underwater.)

Most hard of hearing and some deaf people have hearing aids, although it is really an individual choice whether or not to wear them. Many d/Deaf/hoh people are overwhelmed and startled very easily by noise (since they're not used to that much auditory input) and get tinnitus from auditory overstimulation. They may also struggle with auditory processing--locating sounds, interpreting sounds, recognizing and interpreting speech, and other issues.

The Deaf community doesn't have any general complaints about hearing aids, just many prefer not to wear them. Do know that they are an imperfect aid; they just amplify sound, which doesn't improve processing or understanding, and it doesn't make people hearing. Not everyone even benefits from hearing aids--their specific hearing levels may make hearing aids a bad choice of aid.

A big point you'll hear in Deaf spaces is Deaf Can (and Deaf Power). Hearing people have historically treated deafness as a sign of incapability, but Deaf people can do everything hearing people can--except hear.

Myth Busting

[Large Text: Myth Busting]

Myth #1: All Deaf people are completely deaf. This is very far from the truth! Most deaf people have some degree of residual hearing, although this may require very loud sounds and/or at very specific pitches. Plus, there are many culturally Deaf people who are not deaf/hoh at all--CODAs, hearing children born to Deaf parents, are part of the Deaf community.

Myth #2: (Non-speaking) Deaf people do not make noise. Also very far from the truth! First off, Deaf people laugh. Many Deaf people also vocalize without knowing or intending, especially when excited. We can get very loud!

Myth #3: (Speaking) Deaf people talk loudly. While this can be true, often d/Deaf people talk more quietly than expected. This is because with severe to profound levels of deafness, no speaking volume is really going to be audible, so they will often rely on feeling vibrations in their throat to know if they're making noise. Vibrations are detectable at lower volumes than hearing people like to listen to.

Myth #4: Deaf people can't drive. I actually have no idea where this one came from but it's false. Deaf people can absolutely drive, and tend to have a lower rate of accidents and violations than hearing drivers. There is a common trend of treating d/Deaf people like they can't do things unrelated to hearing, but deafness on its own only affects hearing.

Deaf Struggles in the Hearing World

[Large Text: Deaf Struggles in the Hearing World]

A huge problem is just basic accessibility. Many places do not have captions or visual indicators, or rely on hearing (like drive-throughs). Movie open caption screenings are often at awkward times, and caption glasses are hard to find or access and awkward to wear.

Deaf people are also at increased risk of police violence. Police often treat signing as aggression, rather than attempts to communicate. When they yell, talk quickly, or shine a flashlight in Deaf people's faces, it's even harder to understand what is going on. Deaf people are also not often provided with a qualified interpreter and may not understand what is going on or why they were arrested.

Deaf people, specifically those who are mainly kept in the hearing world, have higher rates of drug use and addiction.

Hearing people also treat Deaf people as incapable or lesser. Gallaudet University had only hearing presidents until 1988 after the Deaf President Now protests; then-chair of the board at GU said in a statement that received heavy backlash from the students, "deaf people cannot function in the hearing world".

When writing your Deaf character:

[Large Text: When writing your Deaf Character:]

Were they born to hearing parents or to Deaf parents? (90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents.) Is anyone else in the family d/Deaf?

At what age was their deafness noticed? (It can be at birth, or it can take several years, even for children born deaf.) Is their hearing loss progressive? Is their hearing loss significantly different in each ear?

Were they eligible for cochlear implants? Did they get CI? Did they get hearing aids? (Consider cost as a factor: CI requires the surgery as well as intensive speech therapy; hearing aids are also expensive and can need replacement and refitting.) How well do the aids work for them? Do they have them in one or both ears?

What advice did their family receive from audiologists and speech therapists about sign language and communication, and did their family listen? Did they learn sign language? At what age? Did their parents and family learn sign language? Are they language-deprived? Did they go through speech therapy? What is their speech like? Do they like using their voice?

Did or do they attend Deaf school? Is it residential or day school? If it's residential, did they understand what was happening when they were dropped off? Does the school use sign language or rely on oralism? (Consider time period; most schools now use sign language, but from 1880-about 1980 the predominant method was oralism.)

If they don't attend a Deaf school, what accommodations are they receiving in mainstream setting? Are they in special education? Are they in a Deaf program at a mainstream school? Do they have an interpreter? How much do they understand what is going on in class?

How involved are they in Deaf community and culture? Are their friends and family involved and supportive of the Deaf community? Do they treat deafness like something to cure? Do their friends and family frequently ignore or "forget" that they are deaf?

In general, consider their scenario, what ableism they've faced, and what their Deaf identity is.

Happy writing, and please continue to send in your questions!

Mod Rock

[sunnymusingsao3]

just a reminder:

a black girl character growing her hair out long breaks more stereotypes than a black girl character having short hair

a black girl character getting to be soft and fragile breaks more stereotypes than a black girl character being strong all the time

a black girl character being protected and comforted by others breaks more stereotypes than a black girl character having no one to look out for her but herself

a black girl character being considered pretty or cute by other characters breaks more stereotypes than a black girl character being considered unattractive

not everything that is empowering for white girls is empowering for black girls

the sexism we face overlaps, but it is not the same

[sunnymusingsao3]

How to Play Twenty Questions

Words: 7,444 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tim Drake/Lonnie Machin Summary: I give an anarchist a sexuality crisis Tags: Pre-Relationship, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Missing Scene, Pre-New 52, New Earth, Coma, There's one scene done in the style of a chatfic at the end, This is rather slice of life for superheroes, There's a lot of talking and not much mission

Preview:

Adjusting to life the way it’s turned lately has been… labyrinthine, to put it mildly. That is, Lonnie’s been doing as he always does– surviving at all costs– but it’s not as if that’s been made easy for him to do.

He doesn’t tell anyone about the worst parts of it; the aches that score bone-deep and radiate through his muscle tissue and nervous system, the numbed and prickly pieces of his body that he can’t feel at all, or the arrant humiliation of knowing that someone much, much less intelligent than him had been allowed to cause this much harm– to name a few.

Steve Neumann. Sean Jacobs. Dave McEvoy. Their families will never see them again, and Lonnie has helped make that happen.

There is something gut-wrenchingly devastating in how completely, how irreparably, a fascist child playing soldier dress up has razed Anarky to the ground. The people will never trust the moniker again. Brought on by a gunshot– incomprehensibly quick and calamitously loud, perpetually drumming in repetition in the depths of his skull, always where it hurts the most– Lonnie Machin has lost at once his sword and shield, and Gotham’s voice has been choked off–

To name a few more.

These are the things he believes he will never tell anyone. See, there is nothing so torturous as being so totally and finitely unable to do anything to reverse the slaughter of one’s singular, self-made purpose in the century of life gifted at birth. There is one thing that Anarky wants, one penultimate goal for the people he’s vowed to protect– but as it’s turned out, he can’t even protect three people from someone who should never have presented as big a threat as he did.

There are no how-to manuals about recovering from that.

So, he doesn’t tell anyone about it.

Instead, he moves his knight on Chess.com and waits for Tim’s answering play.

“Interesting.” Tim hums, and he looks like he wants to talk smack, but for whatever reason, something stays his hand. Rather, tongue.

Lonnie dreams of telling him off for it, but he settles instead for, “No commentary for the spectators?”

“Not when my spectator is working as my opponent.” The on-break vigilante responds, a grin cracking across his lips. Tim is half-undressed from his gear, his belts and cape discarded in a chair by the wall, and his gloves are dangling off the arm of the one he’s pulled up next to Lonnie’s bed. His hair is disheveled, and at its current length, it flops to either side of his temples, curling a tad around his ears. It’s a strange contrast to the cropped cuts he’d gelled to the nines back in the day, and Lonnie suspects that if he were to reach out and touch it, it would be softer than he’s ever seen it before. If not somewhat sweaty, that is.

“Your turn.” Tim mentions, which draws Lonnie’s attention back to the game–

Where it becomes evident that he’s losing. Badly.

“I hope this hasn’t been too easy for you.” The computer pipes up, as Lonnie simultaneously stalls for time, and watches Tim’s reaction.

Alas, it reveals everything that Lonnie was afraid of.

“What? Of course not.” Tim laughs, too hastily, too stridently.

Fancying a sigh, the anarchist resigns the game, the sting of disappointment washing frigidly through his veins, not unlike the feeling of the IV drip when it releases medicine into his bloodstream.

“Hey– you could have come back from that.” Tim is trying to placate Lonnie, and the spider knows this. But it tastes bitter against Lonnie’s tonsils, so in spite of Tim’s most well-meaning intentions, he rejects them.

“I’m not going to insult you by banking on you losing to gross negligence or sheer accident. It’s fine. Let’s start again.”

Lonnie invites Tim to a new game, and in silence, the pair begin.

It takes less than ten moves for Lonnie to get wise to what Tim is doing.

He resigns again, which makes Tim blanch, his head shooting up to peer at his friend in unwarranted surprise. “You were winning!”

Lonnie can’t clench his jaw, nor hit the keys on a virtual keyboard with any force, but he hopes that the voice of the screen reader makes his disdain apparent. “Do you have any idea how belittling it is to let me win?”

Tim Drake is known to be a fantastic liar. But Lonnie Machin is known to be truthful to a fault. He identifies Tim’s tells as they happen. “I wasn’t–”

“Save it.” The robotic voice cuts him off, and Tim’s jaw shutters. “If you’re not going to play a fair game, I don’t want to participate. I won’t enable cheating, and I certainly won’t be complicit in it. I can’t believe you’d try something like that.”

Red Robin passes like a cloud over Tim’s icy eyes. “I didn’t want you to get discouraged.”

Lonnie itches to laugh. “Whatever. Let’s get back to business; we have a lot to do, don’t we?”

“I mean, we could take a few more minutes–”

“Let's get back to business.” Lonnie pushes harder.

And Tim doesn’t need to don the cowl for Lonnie to be able to pinpoint the changes in his posture, in the way he distributes his own weight, for him to know that he’s speaking with the recently-graduated former protege of the Batman, now, rather than his new best pal, Tim Drake-without-the-Wayne.

“Fine.” Tim stands, as he prefers to do when discussing matters like this. Lonnie wonders if he’s aware he does it. “What’d you find on the new Lynx?”

[Read the rest on AO3]

[sunnymusingsao3]

Write more Deaf characters!

[Large Text: Write more Deaf characters!]

When answering questions about deaf and hard of hearing characters, I have noticed they are overwhelmingly about:

A character who is deaf in one ear or hard of hearing because of an accident

A character who was born deaf and knows sign language, but seems to have 0 connection to the broader Deaf community

This is not the experience of most d/Deaf people! So, here's your primer to Deaf community and culture, and writing a Deaf character, because they are sorely underrepresented.

(Disclaimer: this post was written using viewpoints I, a singular Deaf person in the United States, have encountered. I tried to make this as general as possible to encompass many Deaf views, but it is possible that I have misconstrued something. Do not take this guide as the be-all and end-all of your knowledge on Deaf culture. Keep reading and researching the Deaf community, and explore viewpoints from many different Deaf people of all backgrounds.)

Why do you write Deaf with capital D?

[Large Text: Why do you write Deaf with capital D?]

The term "deaf" with the lowercase d means not being able to hear. The term "Deaf" with an uppercase D refers to the cultural identity formed by deaf people. This identity is difficult to explain but it includes knowing sign language and engaging with other Deaf people.

There are varying opinions within the Deaf community on who is allowed to call themselves culturally Deaf. Some Deaf believe that only those who were born into the Deaf community (whose family is Deaf, who attended a Deaf school, and/or who have sign language as a first language) are allowed to consider themselves culturally Deaf. On the 'flip' side, some Deaf believe that anyone with hearing loss can claim the label. And of course, you can find someone Deaf with any opinion in between.

This is all intracommunity nuance. If your character is born deaf and learns sign language at a young age or as a first language, they are likely culturally Deaf.

Sign Language Use

[Large Text: Sign Language Use]

Sign languages are the language of Deaf communities. (Note that there are many sign languages in different regions, and they are not related in the same way spoken languages are!)

Most sign languages did not originate alongside spoken language, either, so they usually have different grammar than the spoken language in a region. This means that someone whose first language is sign may have difficulty learning even the written version of the spoken language due to the different grammar and translation. For native signers, the spoken language of their area is their second language.

Sign languages are fully developed languages, with grammar and structure. Sign language is not "less" than spoken language, and encouraging sign language does not discourage speech. (Even if it did, that's not a bad thing! Sign languages are still a valid and rich communication form!) Sign languages have slang and expressions/idioms too.

Sign languages typically have a "manual alphabet" otherwise known as "fingerspelling". This is a way to represent words that don't have a sign. Fluent signers very rarely fingerspell; normally fingerspelling is for proper nouns which don't have a name sign.

Name signs are the last big point I want to cover about sign language. A name sign is a way to refer to someone so you don't have to spell their name every time. It's usually related to someone's attributes, like dimples or a specific way of moving. Sign names can only be given by Deaf people who are fluent in sign language.

Deaf Education

[Large Text: Deaf Education]

For a long time, deaf people were considered unable to learn, just because they couldn't hear. And since 1880, for about 100 years and even still today, the prevailing tradition in deaf education was/is oralism--a teaching method based on speech that rejects sign language.

Historically speaking, if deaf children were to receive an education, they would be sent to a Deaf residential school. These still exist, although there are also many Deaf schools that are typical day schools, just for d/Deaf/hoh students.

Deaf children may also attend "mainstream" schools; they might have sign language interpreters and other accessibility accommodations, or they may be forced to rely on lipreading and context, or placed in special education where their needs often still are not met.

Oralism still has lasting effects today. Deaf people have received, and still do receive, worse education than hearing people.

One common problem is language deprivation. Many deaf children grow up without access to sign language. About 90% of deaf people are born to hearing parents; even if hearing parents do send their deaf kids to a Deaf school, they may not learn sign language themselves, so the child must rely on what they can gather of spoken language at home. Sign language is even discouraged by some audiologists and speech professionals, because it "might interfere with speech". But by depriving deaf children of sign language, more often than not, they are being deprived of all language.

People who are born deaf do not learn spoken language naturally, even when provided with aids like hearing aids and cochlear implants. Many deaf kids who learn speech learn it through extensive speech therapy, and often have a "deaf accent" from copying mouth shapes but not being able to hear or process what sounds they are making, which may also include having an atypically pitched voice (e.g., very high-pitched). Lip-reading is inaccurate and the best lip-readers can only follow about 30% of a conversation, and that's by intently watching with no breaks.

It is possible to learn a language at any age. But it is easiest to pick up a new language when one is young. Children who do not learn a first language by around age 5--the age at which they would start school--have more difficulty learning any language, and may have frequent outbursts or trouble expressing emotions as a result of communication difficulties.

Another problem, especially within the Deaf community, is literacy. Spoken languages are often unrelated to the signed language of the same region. Learning to read and write, as a Deaf child, is like learning a whole new separate language, with different grammar and structure than their native language. This is why captions are not a perfect accessibility tool--it is, for many Deaf people, being offered an alternative in their second language, if they have learned to read and write at all.

Deaf Culture Norms

[Large Text: Deaf Culture Norms]

To hearing people, Deaf conversation can seem very blunt and to the point. This isn't to say Deaf people are inexpressive--quite the opposite: sign languages often use facial expressions as part of the grammar, and there is a lot of expression that can be incorporated into a sign--but there isn't a lot of "talking around" things. You can see part of this culture in name signs, which are usually based off a trait of the person. It's not offensive--it's just how they're recognized!

Another conception is of Deaf people being over expressive, but again, that is just part of sign language grammar. Face and body movements take the place of tone of voice, as well as other grammatical clarifications.

Deaf people talk a lot! It's very hard to end a conversation, because there will always be something else to say or a new person to meet. Hugging and other physical touch are really common greetings.

Tapping people on the shoulder to get their attention is fine. Other ways include flicking the lights or rattling a surface (for vibrations). Eye contact while signing is also important to make known that you are listening. Groups of Deaf people will sit in a circle so everyone can see everyone else. It's rude to talk in a Deaf space. If you are lost in the conversation, you'd ask if you can write or type instead.

Deaf Space also refers to design concepts that are more accessible to deaf people. This includes good lighting, minimal signing-height visual obstacles (e.g., low waist-height shelves), visual indicators instead of bells, open spaces so people can sit in a circle to talk, and automatic doors and wide hallways/passages so it is easier to continue a conversation while walking.

It's also very rude to comment on a Deaf person's voice. Do not mention you're surprised they can speak. Do not call their accent "cute" or "weird" or anything like that. Do not ask them to speak. Do not say their voice sounds really good ("for a deaf person") or that you wouldn't be able to tell they are deaf.

Deaf Views on Deafness

[Large Text: Deaf Views on Deafness]

The Deaf community is incredibly proud of their Deafness. You'll often hear the phrases "hearing loss = deaf gain" or "failing a hearing test" as "passing the deaf test". Continuing the Deaf community and culture is highly valued, and learning sign language is encouraged for everyone.

Many people in the Deaf community dislike cochlear implants as their success is incredibly variable and they require invasive surgery and therapies from a young age. Another big argument against CI is that they are often presented as the only or the first option to hearing parents, who misunderstand CI as a "cure" and then do not give their child access to sign language.

Deaf people also reject any sort of cure for deafness, especially genetic therapies. Many Deaf people do not think of their Deafness as a disability.

(Deaf people will often point out the advantages of Deaf culture and sign language, such as being able to talk over long distances, through windows, and even underwater.)

Most hard of hearing and some deaf people have hearing aids, although it is really an individual choice whether or not to wear them. Many d/Deaf/hoh people are overwhelmed and startled very easily by noise (since they're not used to that much auditory input) and get tinnitus from auditory overstimulation. They may also struggle with auditory processing--locating sounds, interpreting sounds, recognizing and interpreting speech, and other issues.

The Deaf community doesn't have any general complaints about hearing aids, just many prefer not to wear them. Do know that they are an imperfect aid; they just amplify sound, which doesn't improve processing or understanding, and it doesn't make people hearing. Not everyone even benefits from hearing aids--their specific hearing levels may make hearing aids a bad choice of aid.

A big point you'll hear in Deaf spaces is Deaf Can (and Deaf Power). Hearing people have historically treated deafness as a sign of incapability, but Deaf people can do everything hearing people can--except hear.

Myth Busting

[Large Text: Myth Busting]

Myth #1: All Deaf people are completely deaf. This is very far from the truth! Most deaf people have some degree of residual hearing, although this may require very loud sounds and/or at very specific pitches. Plus, there are many culturally Deaf people who are not deaf/hoh at all--CODAs, hearing children born to Deaf parents, are part of the Deaf community.

Myth #2: (Non-speaking) Deaf people do not make noise. Also very far from the truth! First off, Deaf people laugh. Many Deaf people also vocalize without knowing or intending, especially when excited. We can get very loud!

Myth #3: (Speaking) Deaf people talk loudly. While this can be true, often d/Deaf people talk more quietly than expected. This is because with severe to profound levels of deafness, no speaking volume is really going to be audible, so they will often rely on feeling vibrations in their throat to know if they're making noise. Vibrations are detectable at lower volumes than hearing people like to listen to.

Myth #4: Deaf people can't drive. I actually have no idea where this one came from but it's false. Deaf people can absolutely drive, and tend to have a lower rate of accidents and violations than hearing drivers. There is a common trend of treating d/Deaf people like they can't do things unrelated to hearing, but deafness on its own only affects hearing.

Deaf Struggles in the Hearing World

[Large Text: Deaf Struggles in the Hearing World]

A huge problem is just basic accessibility. Many places do not have captions or visual indicators, or rely on hearing (like drive-throughs). Movie open caption screenings are often at awkward times, and caption glasses are hard to find or access and awkward to wear.

Deaf people are also at increased risk of police violence. Police often treat signing as aggression, rather than attempts to communicate. When they yell, talk quickly, or shine a flashlight in Deaf people's faces, it's even harder to understand what is going on. Deaf people are also not often provided with a qualified interpreter and may not understand what is going on or why they were arrested.

Deaf people, specifically those who are mainly kept in the hearing world, have higher rates of drug use and addiction.

Hearing people also treat Deaf people as incapable or lesser. Gallaudet University had only hearing presidents until 1988 after the Deaf President Now protests; then-chair of the board at GU said in a statement that received heavy backlash from the students, "deaf people cannot function in the hearing world".

When writing your Deaf character:

[Large Text: When writing your Deaf Character:]

Were they born to hearing parents or to Deaf parents? (90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents.) Is anyone else in the family d/Deaf?

At what age was their deafness noticed? (It can be at birth, or it can take several years, even for children born deaf.) Is their hearing loss progressive? Is their hearing loss significantly different in each ear?

Were they eligible for cochlear implants? Did they get CI? Did they get hearing aids? (Consider cost as a factor: CI requires the surgery as well as intensive speech therapy; hearing aids are also expensive and can need replacement and refitting.) How well do the aids work for them? Do they have them in one or both ears?

What advice did their family receive from audiologists and speech therapists about sign language and communication, and did their family listen? Did they learn sign language? At what age? Did their parents and family learn sign language? Are they language-deprived? Did they go through speech therapy? What is their speech like? Do they like using their voice?

Did or do they attend Deaf school? Is it residential or day school? If it's residential, did they understand what was happening when they were dropped off? Does the school use sign language or rely on oralism? (Consider time period; most schools now use sign language, but from 1880-about 1980 the predominant method was oralism.)

If they don't attend a Deaf school, what accommodations are they receiving in mainstream setting? Are they in special education? Are they in a Deaf program at a mainstream school? Do they have an interpreter? How much do they understand what is going on in class?

How involved are they in Deaf community and culture? Are their friends and family involved and supportive of the Deaf community? Do they treat deafness like something to cure? Do their friends and family frequently ignore or "forget" that they are deaf?

In general, consider their scenario, what ableism they've faced, and what their Deaf identity is.

Happy writing, and please continue to send in your questions!

Mod Rock