#Anxiety sucks

[itsapmseymour]

Today on “the thing I’ve been on edge for all month is finally settling and now all that pent up energy has turned to depression!!”

I wanna sleep for like a week-

[hot-cherri]

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

~Unknown

[sl33py-g4m3r]

Back with an update after a long break~~ (thanks anxiety (sarcasm))

Hopefully I've kicked anxiety's ass for the time being and am now in the swing of things~~

I still hate the map tho a little bit. Didn't realize you could press B to center the map, thank you for the tip~~!! idk why or how I didn't find that out myself.

Woman's Ring quest complete~~!! as well as the gryphon talons because I was grinding a good deal of them before. I missed one moss somewhere and need to go find it, annoyingly enough. and slay ortherus.

You can complete some quests multiple times? Is it worth it tho? Gryphon talons are just "get the talons, go to K's tavern to deliver, get 30 macca (?) each time" might be worth if you're grinding at the entrance for whatever reason... idk. what do you do with gryphon talons or fu xi feathers anyway? tried to sell them at B's i think and they didn't appear there.

I wonder if I'm overleveled a little bit? The disaster horde or whatever I fought for the ring chest went down with a zan from flynn, a bufu from centaur, bouncing claw from gryphon, and a grahm slice from lahm derg... it hit me once...

I can fuse now and it's probably a good idea; but I've kind of grown attatched a bit to the demons I have... but they also have all of the skills they'll ever know now anyway I think.... could be wrong. but I think you get the "demon whisper" when they've learned all possible skills? so despite growing attatched to them, time to fuse them into other demons?

Update on skills and roster:

Flynn - lvl 7 - still upping primarily magic, luck, agility - still bufu, zan, critical wave

Centaur - lvl 6 - bufu, needle shot

Gryphon (new!) - lvl 5 - bouncing claw, lunge

Lham Dearg (?) - lvl 5 - grahm slice, critical wave

Fu Xi - lvl 5 - zan, patra

Napaea - lvl 4 - dia, dream needle

Myrmecolion (? new!) - lvl 3 - patra

Mokoi (new!) - lvl 2 - zio

tried to use mokoi's zio on a chagrin, immediate death for mokoi. also tried to recruit a chagrin many times..... nope. it's mokoi all over again~~

hooray~~!!

Progress~~!!

Now what? fuse to see what that's all about, hunt for moss, defeat ortherus and continue on?

I hope that if I take a break from this game for a little bit, that break isn't another entire month. getting in the swing of things and hadn't seen Charon this entire time. Almost died but then thanks to napaea's dia, survived.

(gets comfortable, has an SMT moment)

I put gryphon in front instead of Fu Xi because gryphon nulls zan and is weak to the same thing as Fu Xi anyway... also more HP. so only had flynn be zan during that fight.... Still won but makes me worried I spent too much time being afraid because (idk how to read the map (keyboard smash and yelling for help) and stayed by the door grinding for a good bit. as per my last update on how the play through was going.

Is still fun and the music slaps~~!! glad I got into SMT through the music.

I've done some stuff~~ Break time to decide whether I want to fuse demons, and how. just yolo and see what happens? or have certain ones in mind with certain skills?

Then I'd have to recruit everyone again T_T;;

It's not pokemon, don't get attached to your demons, they're nothing but fusion fodder for stronger demons...

I'm attached anyway.

there begs the question~~! trying a challenge run so to speak? where I only use demons of a certain alignment? might be law cause I'm probably going to the law path anyway if I'm being honest with myself....

finally getting somewhere~~! Finally getting comfortable with navigation~~!! Finally get demon fusion app~~!!

break time~~! hopefully for a lot less long than before~~!!

I wanna punch navarre~~~ casting false aspersions of the poor~~~ feel like he's making fun of myself irl cause I am actually poor irl, lol.

proud of myself for this too~~!! get zan anxiety~~!! let fun things be fun~~!!

(new!) demons are new ones that I've acuired through fusion or negotiation; negotiations at this point because I didn't have access to fusion when I got them.

It baffles me how demon negotiations go sometimes. give stuff, say a thing that makes them not attack you, or try again later, give them stuff, don't like giving macca, and I usually refuse after 2 things. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

like was it gryphon? idk.. someone told me to dig with 3 dig options, i chcose the middle one, got a life stone, then promptly gave it back, and they became my ally? what?

same thing sort of with mokoi with the (I'm waiting for someone) and they're like "I'm the person you were waiting for" becomes ally. ?????

???????????

you bet your sweet macca that I saved after those, baby~~!!

good things can happen in this game???

update cause I dug through my posts and the last update was June 18th. the break wasn't a month long. I thought it was, lol.

[0vergrowngraveyard]

the anxiety that joining a new discord server gives me is unbelievable 😭

[jakey-beefed-it]

[gripping the sink and staring at myself in the mirror] you are an apex predator. you have the mass of a small black bear. you are not a squirrel. hiding in a burrow solves nothing.

[lakefu]

Its just one of those nights. Need this 🥺

(Shoutout to DelusionalASMR on YT of course, thank you)

[artsyxbutterfly]

I'm @ the doctors having terrible anxiety rn BUT

OMG yay!

My anxiety is at ease :)

[rat-rosemary]

"Is it rude of me to call Techno fans cultists?"

"What?"

"I mean, that sound rude right? I don't like when people call Dteam fans stuff like that."

"Rat."

"And I mean. Idk it's probably extra Nad because it's Techno-"

"Rat!"

"Yeah"

"They are cultists. It's their entire aesthetic. 'Blood for the blood god' Remember? 'One of us'"

"Ohhhh yeah..."

[mayapapaya33]

Ok, Neil Gaiman just gently and very Britishly threatened to turn this clown car around if all of you neurotic basket cases don't chill tf out. So go do some deep breathing exercises, talk to your therapists, (or your designated therapist friend cuz therapy is expensive) and learn how to talk to real humans. Jeeeeeeesus.

I get it, the media trauma is real. But Neil Gaiman has written so many good queers lmfao, it'll be fine. And if it's not the ending YOU specifically want, Ao3 will be there to console you. You will survive.

(translation: Neil said he doesn't want to tell the actors to give generic copy and paste non-answers to questions about season 3 but he will if you lot keep being anxious messes, so stop being insane, or at least stop being insane in front of Neil lol).

[hotpotatoshealthjourney]

Gah, I need to be asleep but my brain is going a million miles an hour instead. Oh, message the neurologist this, oh ask the pcp about that, refill this med, etc. Making lists and using mychart all day, and blah.

Physical therapy is hard, y’all. But it makes me feel pathetic rather than encouraged, because I see how little I can do now compared to April me. And how utterly sore I am from it all, which makes me feel even more pathetic.

Plus my anxiety has started to come back again. It’s been fine for well over a year at this point but today at PT I realized it’s definitely back. Gotta nip that in the bud for sure. My depression monster is more likely to kill me, but my anxiety monster scares me so much more.

You can really see it very well in this pic, but I got a new septum jewelry. It’s all shimmery and rainbow-y and spiraled. I like it. Sir hated the last one so I was beyond ready to change it out.

[feathersandfarmers]

my anxiety so bad lately and i feel awful. I'm doing my best to cope and be brave about everything happening to me. I'm so tired too.

Chicken Run is legit a light in the dark for me. I feel it's therapeutic to surround myself with it as much as i can.

[thefallennightmare]

My anxiety has been in overdrive the last few hours, not sure why. My little Jolly blurb might wait until tomorrow. I leave for my family cabin early tomorrow morning where I’ll be the next four days just relaxing and writing.

I do plan on getting Unveiled Hearts posted later this weekend! I know Matt might not be for everyone but it’s important y’all read it 😏

[hot-cherri]

[hooid]

I find it kinda funny that sometimes the only way to gain real attachment and have perspective in your relationships with people is to actually believe a person when they say they want and love you. And it's so fucking difficult sometimes, because when you have a lot of anxiety it feels like an actual risk. But the people that are worth it will make that risk worth it. Take it.

[whats-it-mean]

Feeling down? Ryusei blue will save you ☆

Kanata Shinkai x Reader anxiety comfort !

A/N - I had an anxiety attack in spanish today and am very very tired from such so… self indulgent kanata. ALSO ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING KANATA SO MIGHT BE OOC?? idk at this point i like the way this came out so ill continue to write him like this

TW - Anxiety attacks

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

Short, shaky and shallow breaths left your mouth as you tightened your grasp on your sleeves in a desperate attempt to somewhat control your quivering. You tried to focus on the sheet of homework in front of you, but even thinking about schoolwork felt overwhelming. Everything was overwhelming.

You lifted your hands to reach for your pencil, slowly and uncertainly twirling it between your fingers in hopes of finding some calm, but the racing thoughts wouldn’t quiet.

It was too much.

Something in you gave up on trying to calm down. you could feel hot little tears prickling at the corners of your face, which only made your heart rate spike at the thought of somebody seeing you cry in class. 

That was so lame. You hated when people thought lowly of you.

It was scary.

You sucked in a breath, only becoming more shaky after noticing the choked noise your dry throat made when you opened your mouth to breathe. Oh god. What if somebody heard it? What if the teacher got mad? What if—? Oh god, oh god, oh god—

“Professor~?”

You glanced upwards, eyes wet as you did so. You watched as the professor paused his scribbling on the board. “Hm? What is it, Shinkai?”

You blinked, taking another shaky breath as you bounced your leg with haste. for some reason feeling the need to listen as intently as possible, which temporarily stopped your mind from trailing elsewhere.

“Ah-… I don’t feel too well… Can I have a friend walk me to the main office~?” You felt yourself let out a slight, wobbly smile- Something about Kanata’s voice was incredibly calming to your static nerves.

The professor shrugged, turning back to continue writing notes down on the board and mumbling something of a ‘whatever, sure’ as he did so.

You let out a relieved sigh, although you were unsure as to why you cared. After a moment of peace, your mind caught back up to you, and you felt the quiver in your body start up again as you scratched your sleeve, trying for no particular reason to dig your nails into it.

You bowed your head back between your knees, breaths speeding up again until you felt a hand on your shoulder, making you jolt. 

“C’mon~”

Kanata was smiling at you, putting the exact amount of pressure on your shoulder where it felt comforting. He extended his other hand to you, silently inviting you out of class, which was about the only thing you wanted in that moment.

With a moment’s hesitation, which Kanata seemed infinitely patient with, you shakily took his hand and let him take you out into the hall, keeping one hand on your shoulder the whole time. He didn’t seem to mind the fact that you were shaking to the point where someone who didn’t know better might think you were vibrating, and seemed to have no judgement in his eyes whenever you sniffled a bit.

The moment the door of the classroom closed behind you, he carefully removed his uniform blazer and placed it on your shoulders.

“Do you want to go to the fountain to calm down~?”

His voice alone made you feel a bit better, and the idea of getting fresh air sounded very calming. You nodded shakily, letting out a quiet ‘Thank you’ before he smiled at you and waved his hand dismissively and took your hand again, walking you outside to where the school fountain stood. The walk there was silent, except for the occasional humming from Kanata, and he had an air around him that made it easier to destress.

After a moment, you found yourself in front of the fountain, where Kanata wasted no time in sitting down in the water, humming his little ‘puka puka’ before smiling at you.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked, patting the ledge of the fountain for you to sit down at.

“Y- Yeah-…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say much, but it was true- your heart rate was slowly but surely slowing back to its usual pace, and you weren’t shaking quite as violently. Kanata smiled again, which set your mind at peace before he floated over near the ledge where you now sat.

“You don’t have to tell me what got you so anxious, but please feel free to if you so desire~” He hummed, reaching one hand to place over yours. It was wet, but you didn’t particularly mind as it was warm enough outside not to be uncomfortable. “It’s okay to feel afraid sometimes,” He continued, absentmindedly tracing shaped on your hand with his index finger as he spoke. “Just keep that in mind. No matter what happens, me and the rest of us in Ryuseitai will support you~”

Coming from Kanata, that was enough to properly calm you. You were still shaken up, but as he proceeded to drop his entire body under the water for a second so he could blow bubbles at you from underneath, you couldn’t help but crack a smile, and a moment later you were laughing.

Maybe you’d be alright for today.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───  End

[stargirlies]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but please remember literally everyone on the earth that has ever been born is too busy thinking about themselves to pay attention to things you think in your head everyone is going to judge you for, or think about and if they do judge you or have the balls to say anything nasty it’s a very simple reflection of themselves and the energy they feel in their souls.

also remember your random thoughts of negativity, bad feelings or thoughts that pop into your brain is literally just that. thoughts that pop into your brain.

that (weirdly enough) doesn’t make them true, and you have the ability to stop that thought, tell yourself ‘no I’m not going to think this way’ and flip it around.

moral of the story you’re awesome & don’t let your mind control your heart.