jakey-beefed-it

[jakey-beefed-it]

I know others have said it before, but the Dawntrail role quest capstone suuuucks.

So it's not canon for me, obviously. No way Varian would betray an anarchist revolution. Not even for unlimited tacos.

[jakey-beefed-it]

For Valentine's day, my spouse got me this cuddly shrimp tempura seal plush. I love it so much T^T

[jakey-beefed-it]

Honestly one of the main reasons to assume Luigi Mangione was framed by the NYPD is that the UHC shooter not only had no reason to carry around a manifesto, he had no reason to even write a manifesto. He said his piece loud and clear with the bullet casings and the monopoly money. Everyone understood it and the shooter knew that would be the case.

[jakey-beefed-it]

the downside to unprecedented (as a Californian) exposure to cold weather is that it has weakened my immune system such that I'm sick for the first time in like five years. the good news is i'm not very sick, just kinda blah with a head cold. still. weh.

[jakey-beefed-it]

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

[jakey-beefed-it]

the white house is now so right wing, the GOP turtle man is by default on "our side." Trump's only response to this so far is to insinuate he's lying about the polio. Classy!

[jakey-beefed-it]

the neurodivergent experience:

20% of the time: wowwieee!!! i love my passions and interests!!!!! they make me so happy i want to jump up and down!!!!! weee!!!!!!! :3333333333

80% of the time: this mind is a prison

[jakey-beefed-it]

This guy's blocking the streetcars, inconveniencing fuck knows how many, so Toronto transit is gonna tow it. Fair enough.

But the guy came back, and they had him dig his own car out SO THEY COULD TOW IT. That's so fucking gangsta, holy shit! Like the mob making you dig your own grave in the Nevada desert.

I am cackling with schadenfreude

[jakey-beefed-it]

you ever heard a lightning fucking scream?

youre about to

[jakey-beefed-it]

You can only wear the two randomly assigned colors* for the rest of your life, ( trying to wear any other colors the items will change to one of the two other colors) how do you feel?

*Different tones/shades of the randomly chosen colors are allowed. Pastel, neon, etc. will also fall under the base color and are therefore allowed.

Spin the wheel to find out which colors you must wear

[jakey-beefed-it]

have you ever been told you look like a celebrity?

yes (who? 👀)

no

[jakey-beefed-it]

uh oh! one of your organs has mysteriously vanished! Spin this wheel to find out which one!

[jakey-beefed-it]

fuckable bumper sticker in the appalachians

[jakey-beefed-it]

You are dropped in a Star Trek location. Spin this wheel to find out which location and this wheel to find out who you are with.

[jakey-beefed-it]

So, my cat, Coco, is a big cuddlebug and loves to come lay on top of my chest and/or stomach when I'm going to sleep. He tends to stay there until I doze off, and then he fucks off to his own preferred sleeping spots. It's like he's tucking me in. It's adorable. I love him immensely.

We have a filing cabinet thing at the foot of our bed, with a bunch of books and a small air purifier and some other stuff on top of it. This isn't usually a problem.

My wife, however, has taken to sleeping lower and lower on the bed for some reason, and the past couple nights she's kicked out or stretched her legs and knocked down the air purifier, with a very loud clatter.

So there we are, lying down. She's asleep, I'm dozing off with a cat on my chest. Suddenly, she kicks out. CRASH! There goes the air purifier, toppling into a box where I've been storing some of my finished minis. (They appear undamaged, for a miracle.) Coco, who himself was dozing off for once, is BADLY startled, and leaps into the air a couple feet. But not before extending his claws, thus shredding my right arm and my chest. He then scrambles over to my wife's desk chair and curls up in his favorite spot, oblivious and/or impassive to the wounds he has inflicted. My wife slumbers on, waking enough only to ask 'whuzzat?' and falling back asleep once i assured her all was well enough.

The good news is it's entirely superficial injuries, deep for cat scratches but shallow in terms of actual wounds. The bad news is that one of these scratches is directly across my right nipple and the resulting pain is thus entirely out of proportion to the level of damage.

I have said it before, and I will say it again, but it's really true- if anyone wrote a book about me, it would be best titled "A Series of Petty Indignities"

[jakey-beefed-it]

[jakey-beefed-it]

when the lyrics you've been mishearing are more clever than what's actually in the song